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Umbreon
05-26-2013, 01:20 AM
I decided to review games

STUFF REVIEWED:

Season 1 ~ 16 Reviews
1 Ratchet and Clank (PS2) - 35/50
2 Ape Escape 3 (PS2)- 37/50
3 Spyro The Dragon (PS1) - 32/50
4 Spyro 2: Rypto's Rage (PS1) - 40/50
5 Spyro 3: Year of the Dragon (PS1) - 43/50
6 Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly (GC) - 25/50
7 Tetris (GBC) - 32/40
8 Superman 64 (N64) - 16/50
9 Sonic 06 (XBox 360) - 15/50
10 Kirby's Epic Yarn (Wii) - 37/50
11 Castlevania Adventure (GB) - 14/50
12 Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (PS2) - 42/50
13 Gex 2 (PS2 and N64 Version) - 29/50
14 Gex 2 (GBC Version) - 23/50
15 Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's Duel Transer (Wii) - 36/50
16 Sonic 06 REDUX (XBox 360) - 15/50

_________________________________________________

Season 2 ~ 26 Reviews
17 Pokemon: Generation 1 (GB) - 58/100
18 Hey, You Pikachu! (N64) - 62/100
19 Pokemon Snap (N64) - 69/100
20 Pokemon Stadium (N64) - 77/100
21 Pokemon: Generation 2 (GBC) - 77/100
22 Pokemon Stadium 2 - (N64) 81/100
23 Pokemon TCG and Pokemon TCG 2 (GBC) - 73/100
24 Pokemon Generation 3 (GBA) - 52/100
25 Pokemon Colosseum (GC) - 65/100
26 Pokemon XD (GC) - 60/100
27 Pokemon Ranger (DS) - 67/100
28 Pokemon Generation 4 (DS) - 53/100
29 Pokepark 2 (Wii) - 62/100
30 Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Series (GBA/DS) - 62/100
31 Pokemon Generation 5 (DS) - 71/100
32 Pokemon Generation 6 (3DS) - 74/100
33 E.O.E: The Eve of Extinction (PS2) - 60/100
34 Ty The Tasmanian Tiger (PS2) - 67/100
35 Fairly Odd Parents: Breakin Da Rulez (PS2) - 34/100
36 God of War (PS2) - 89/100
37 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater (N64) - 67/100
38 Jak and Daxter (PS2) - 72/100
39 Donkey Kong 64 (N64) - 49/100
40 Super Monkey Ball (GC) - 71/100
41 Marvel Ultimate Alliance (PS2) - 77/100
42 Shadow The Hedgehog (GC) - 46/100

_____________________________________________

Season 3 ~ 38 Reviews
43 Sonic Colors (Wii) - 88/100
44 Sonic Colors (DS) - 57/100
45 The Legend of Zelda (NES) - 44/100
A Rant about Sonic Genesis
46 Sonic Heroes (GC) - 52/100
47 Sonic Heroes (PS2/XBox) - 43/100
48 The Legend of Zelda II: The Adventures of Link (NES) - 53/100
49 Mega Man (NES) - 65/100
50 Mega Man 2 (NES) - 74/100
51 Mega Man 3 (NES) - 71/100
52 Mega Man - The Wily Wars (Genesis) - 58/100
53 Meg Man 4 (NES) - 71/100
54 Mega Man 5 (NES) - 66/100
55 Mega Man 6 (NES) - 68/100
56 Mega Man 7 (SNES) - 72/100
57 Mega Man 8 (PS1) - 67/100
58 Mega Man and Bass (SNES/GBA) - 54/100
59 Mega Man 9 (Wii/PS3/XBox 360)- 71/100
60 Mega Man 10 (Wii/PS3/XBox 360) - 68/100
Do Graphics and Story Matter In A Game?
61 Sonic 06 Re-re-review - 31/100
62 Conker's Bad Fur Day - 69/100
63 Crash Bandicoot - 63/100
64 Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko - 64/100
65 Ghostbusters - 33/100
Why Jump Scares and Gore Arent Scary
66 Castlevania - 59/100
67 Ghosts N' Goblins - 37/100
68 Monster Party 50/100
69 Five Nights At Freddy's - 51/100
70 Jak II - 64/100
Playstation
71 The Great Gatsby - 60/100
72 Super Mario Bros. 71/100
10 Great Video Game Commercials!
73 Super Mario Bros 2. Lost Levels - 59/100
74 Super Mario Bros. 2 USA - 73/100
75 Super Mario Bros. 3 - 80/100

__________________________________________

Season 4 ~ 37 Reviews
76 I-Ninja (PS2)
77 LEGO Batman (Wii)
78 Cory In The House (DS)
79 The Bouncer (PS2)
80 Pokemon Omega Ruby (3DS)
81 Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii)
82 Sly Cooper and the Thevious Racoonus (PS2)
Random Rom Hacks #1
Hello Kitty: Happy party Pals (APRIL FOOLS) (GBA)
83 Castle of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse (Genesis)
84 Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase (PS1)
Is Overexposure a bad thing? And why I hate modern Lets Playing
85 Bubsy 3D (PS1)
86 Batman Forever (SNES)
87 Ratchet and Clank: Up your Arsenal (PS2)
88 Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters (PS2)
89 Toy Story (SNES)
90 Jak III (PS2)
91 Pepsiman (PS1)
92 Moonwalker (Genisis)
93 Shantae (GBC)
94 Phineas and Ferb (DS)
95 Newer Super Mario Bros. Wii (Mod)
96 Crash 2 (PS1)
97 Nicktoons: Battle for Volcano Island (PS2)
98 Pusleman (Genesis)
99 Donkey Kong Country (SNES)
100 Ratchet and Clank (PS2)
101 Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (NES)
102 Ghostbusters (Genesis)
103 Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SNES)
104 Luigi's Mansion (Gamecube)
105 Super Ghouls n' Ghosts (SNES)
Top Ten Favorite Games Of All Time
Top Ten Favorite Pokemon
Top Ten Wanted Smash Characters
106 First Impressions: Spiderman 2
107 Super Mario World
108 First Impressions: Dr. Muto
109 Yoshi's Island
110 First Impressions Ratchet Deadlocked
111 Super Mario 64 and Super Mario 64 DS
112 First Impressions: Sly 2
113 Super Mario Sunshine
114 First Impressions: Wizard 101

Season 5
115 The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (April Fools)
116 Lumines
117 Loony Tunes: Back in Action!
118 Top Ten Features I Want in Pokemon Sun and Moon!
119 Top Ten Worst Shiny Pokemon
120 Was Pokemon Generation 6 too Easy?
121 5 Things I love and 5 things I hate about Gen 7 so far
122 Top Ten Best Shiny Pokemon


____________________________________________

Season 6

Umbreon
05-26-2013, 02:01 AM
http://i.imgur.com/FzdJxgc.jpg

Developed By - Insomniac Games
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Date of Release - November, 4th, 2002



Story: The story to this game is basiclly this: In the distant future, a planet is slowly being destroyed due to pollution and overpopulation. To fix this, the leader of the planet, Chairman Drek, is planning to take pieces off of other planets and put them together to make the perfect planet. However, if this happens every other planet in the galaxy will be destroyed. On a spaceship that manufactures robots, a glitch happens and makes a smaller robot named Clank. Clank finds out what Drek is planning and escapes. He crash lands on a planet called Veldin and meets an alien named Ratchet. They team up to stop Drek. The story is basic but has a decent villain and a few decent twists in it. It isn't amazing but the decent twists make it good.
7 / 10

Graphics: The graphics look quite good for this year. The planets look nice and each is unique looking. They character models are only ok though.
7 / 10

Controls / Gameplay: This is a mix between a platformer and a shooter. It mixes both of these pretty damn well and is overall well done. There are 15 different weapons in the game but...they seem bland. They are really generic. You have the Pyrociter which is a flamethrower, the Bomb Glove which thrown grenades, ect. Later games in the series DO fix this but...here it isn't done well. And now for one major flaw with this game. The checkpoints are horrendous. The planets in this game are huge but there are only like 3 per planet. The main problem with this is, if you die, you will most likely go back to the beginning. You get back to the part you died on, beat that part barely with 1 HP left, then you die 2 seconds later and go back to the beginning again. Another small flaw is the low amounts of money (called bolts) in the game. You will need to replay planets a LOT of times to get the best weapons.The controls are the usual stuff with platformers, X to jump, Square and Circle to attack, Triangle to change weapons ect. They aren't bad at all and i like this set up. However, strafing can get weird at times.
Gameplay: 6 / 10
Controls - 8 / 10

Music - The music isn't catchy or amazing but it is unique. It mixes techno with natural instruments. It is a unique style if you showed me a song from this game i could easily tell you that it came from Ratchet & Clank.
7 / 10

35/50

Overall: I love this game. It does have a few flaws and even some of them are major but...if you like platformers, go with this game. The other games in the series are much better but as a stand alone game...it's pretty good.

Uprising
05-26-2013, 02:05 AM
Review Goldeneye and Ape Escape 3?

Umbreon
05-26-2013, 01:23 PM
Review Goldeneye and Ape Escape 3?
i shall

Umbreon
05-26-2013, 01:59 PM
http://i.imgur.com/AUTpKJ3.jpg

Developed By - SCE Japan Studio
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Date of Release - May, 5th, 2006

Story: The story is REALLY stupid but it is so stupid that it is hilarious. The main plot is that a monkey named Specter has gotten an item called the Pippip Helmet which gives apes human inteligence. His plan is....sigh...to hypnotize people while they are watching TV so they cant stop his plan to send a giant robot into space and chop the world in half and give one side to humans and the other side to monkeys so everyone can live in peace. To do this he gets the help of a sicentist with an afro named Dr. Tamokii and a group of vilains called the freaky Monkey 5. and so, you play as one of 2 10 year olds (Yumi or Kei) to stop him. this is REALLY silly and stupid but..i like it.
6/10

Graphics: The graphic style is an anime-ish It looks pretty good. The character models look nice and so do the levels. prety wel done seeign as the 1st game in the series looked horrible.
8 / 10

Controls/Gameplay: The gameplay is the same as in Ape Escape and Ape Escape 2. You play as a kid catching monkeys with nets and transporting them to a lab. you fight enemies with a lightsaber-type weapon called the Stun Club. There are many gadgets that are pretty unique and fun. You got a giant boxing glove, a skyflyer which lets you fly, an RC car that lets you reach places too small for you to fit through, ect. This is also the first game in the series to introduce morph forms. These are super forms that you can transform into to make levels easier. You got a cowboy, a knight, a Power Ranger-ish character, a ninja, a kung fu fighter, ect. These forms and gadgets keep the game from being too repetitive and make the game more fun. The controls are the same as the last game. X, Triangle, circle, and square to change weapons, left stick to move, right stick to use gadgets and weapons, the L1 and R1 buttons to jump, and the L2 and R2 buttons to fix the camera. These do take a while to get used to and it seems awkward and somewhat horrible at some points but when you get used to it it becomes a lot better.
Gameplay - 8/10
Controls - 7/10

Music: The levels in this game are based on different movie genres and they use the music perfectly. The Western level's music sound like western music, the horror movie level's music sound like creepy music, the superhero level's music sounds like superhero music, ect.. The music is well done and sounds pretty damn good.
8/10

37/50

Overall:
The Ape Escape series is a great series and this is probably my favorite game in the series. The main problems with the other games were fixed in this one. The movie references are pretty clever, the plot is really stupid but....what did you expect? This is a great game and if you love platformers or....just plain weirdness...this game is for you.

Umbreon
05-27-2013, 05:07 PM
Time to take a look at the Spyro series. And by series i mean the first 4.

http://i.imgur.com/e0h1ZXa.jpg

Developed By - Insomniac Games
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Release Date - September 3, 1998

Story:
The story is VERY bland and boring. The main plot is basically, a long time ago, a dragon is being interviewed. The dragon makes fun of someone named Gnasty Gnorc. Gnasty hears this and transforms every dragon in the world into a stone statue. Only one dragon remains, Spyro. You have to go across the 5 different realms to save the dragons. It is very basic and uninteresting. It isn't a horrible plot but it is just bland.
4/10

Graphics:
The graphics are pretty good for the time. The framerate is pretty good, the character models look decent, and the levels look ok. Nothing breathtaking but nothing but nothing horible
7/10

Controls/Gameplay:
The controls are basicallly the controls for every other PS1/PS2 platformer out there. x is to jump, Square and Circle are attacks, ect. The basic gameplay is the main problem. It is VERY basic. The main gameplay is going from level to level and rescuing every dragon you see while collecting gems and Dragon Eggs but...the levels are VERY empty. There isn't much to do in them. Also, a LOT of levels look identicle so it feels like you are plaing the same levels over and over again. That is my main problem with this game.
Controls - 8/10
Gameplay 4/10

Music
The music is amazing. It is both creepy, upbeat and epic at the same time. The spyro series has some of my favorite songs in video gaming. Scorch is great, Dream Weavers is great, Treetops is ok. This game has great music. Gonna leave my favorite song from the game below:
9/10
[youtube:2bpbau15]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDeuPQzMntg[/youtube:2bpbau15]

32/50

Overall
This is my least favorite Spyro game in the original trilogy. Later games fixed all these problems but...this game has a lot of problems. Empty Levels, repeptitive landscapes, boring bosses, and a weak story hold it back from being great.[/spoiler:2bpbau15]


Spyro 2: Rypto's Rage!
http://i.imgur.com/5UkEFcr.jpg

Developed By - Insomniac Games
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Release Date - October 31, 1999

Story:
The story is slightly better here than in the first game. The game takes place a year after the 1st game. Spyro and his friend Sparx are in the Dragon Realms when it starts raining. To escape the rain, they run into a portal that leads to an island. meanwhile, in a different realm, an evil dictator is ruling over the realm. His only weakness is a Dragon so the citizens try to teleport one to their dimension. They teleport Spyro there and you basically have to save their world. More interesting than the first game's story.
7/10

Graphics:
The Graphics are basically the same as the first game so....i will give it the same score.
7/10

Controls/Gameplay:
The controls are the same as the first game but with a little change. Now, if you press triangle while gliding you float up a bit. This helps a LOT when you are trying to glide somewhere. The gameplay is basically the same but all the problems in the first game are fixed. There are missions to do in each level that give you orbs which allows you to unlock levels, a talisman for surviving the entire level, gems, and a ton of enemies. The levels are MUCH better. Each level seems entirely different from each other and are actually interesting and fun.
Controls - 8/10
Gameplay - 8/10

Music
Just as great as the last game. so....same score again. Also, more music below.
9/10
[youtube:2bpbau15]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F9ZZwAqej0[/youtube:2bpbau15]

40/50

Overall
A HUGE improvement over the last game. Absolutely amazing.[/spoiler:2bpbau15]

Spyro 3: Year of The Dragon
http://i.imgur.com/XF50lMV.jpg

Developed By - Insomniac Games
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Release Date - October 25, 2000

Story:
Basic Story but done well. Long ago, Dinosaurs and Dragons lived together in peace. One day, the Dinosaurs kicked the Dragons out of their world and ruled over their realm. However, the dinosaurs realize that they cannot survive without the Dragon's magic. So, the leaader of the Dinosaurs try to steal all the baby dragons and use them for their magic. It has a few twists but is overall a basic story taht is well done.
8/10

Graphics:
Better than the last games. The models seem better, the landscapes seem pretty good.
8/10

Controls/Gameplay:
Basically the same as the last games...for Spyro. This game introduces 4 other playable characters each with a different play style. Sheela the Kangaroo is a more platforming like character without much combat. It is done decently well. Jumping can be awkward at times but it is still pretty good. Sgt. Byrd, the Flying Penguin Spy, is more of a shooting character. You fly around and shoot shit. It is pretty decent and can be fun. Bently the Genius Yeti is a slow moving combat based character and...it isn't done that well. He moves too slow and his levels are uninteresting. And finally, Agent 09 a crazy monkey with a gun. His gameplay is a 3rd person shooter-ish type thing. His are well done but some missions he has are annoying. The basic gameplay is exploring levels and collectiong 6 Eggs and gems, while completing creative missions. Well done overall.
Controls - 8/10
Gameplay - 9/10

Music
Amazing. Almost EVERY song is amazing. Fireworks Factory, Bamboo Terrace, Ghost Fleet, all of them. AMAZING. More music below.
10/10
[youtube:2bpbau15]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4i-cvK8s90[/youtube:2bpbau15]

43/50

Overall
A masterpiece. This is probably my favorite game of all time. I love every second of it and have beaten it more times than i can count.[/spoiler:2bpbau15]


Spyro 4: Enter the Dragonfly
http://i.imgur.com/nkT1z2O.jpg

Developed By - Check Six Games
Published By - Universal Interactive
Release Date - November 3, 2002

Story:
We went from having a bland story, to having a decent story, to having a good story, back to having a bland one. Wut? The story is that Rypto is back and wants to rule the world by using the power of dragonflys. That's it. Nothing more. That is worse than the first game....meh.
2/10

Graphics:
They are SLIGHTLY better than in Spyro 3. This looks really good for a PS1 game...wait...this is a PS2 game? Oh...in that case it looks only ok. This doesn't look that good for a PS2 game but...it isn't horrible.
5/10

Controls/Gameplay:
The same as in previous games excpet for new breath powers that are SOOOOO bland and cliche they might as well not exist. You got fire breath, lightning breath, ice breath, ect. and they are mostly useless. I almost never use anythign but the Bubble Breath and the Fire Breath.The controls also feel stiff. Oh....and the 1st spyro game had 5 overworlds and 29 levels. Spyro 2 had 3 overworlds and 27 levels. Spyro 3 had 4 overworlds and 35 levels. This game? It has ONE overworld and EIGHT levels. That's it? MAJOR downgrade. The main gameplay gimmick is that they took out a lot of missions and you have to chase around these annoying ass dragonflys.
Controls - 7/10
Gameplay - 4/10

Music
Not as good as previous games. The music sounds somewhat repetitive. A bit too repetitive if you ask me.
6/10

25/50

Overall
This is a half assed game all the way. Rumors say that it was originally going to have 5 overworlds and over 40 levels but it was rushed so it would be released before 2003 and it shows. It is all around a bad game. All the spyro games after 3 suck so...stay away from anythign after 3.[/spoiler:2bpbau15]


The spyro series is one of my favorite gaming series ever and Spyro 3 is my favorite game fo all time. I would highly recommend them to anyone who likes platformers just....you may want to skip 1 and everything after 3.

And now....i am gonna go play some more Spyro 3.

Facilier
05-27-2013, 06:29 PM
Conker's bad fur day :troll:

Umbreon
05-27-2013, 08:09 PM
Conker's bad fur day :troll:
I will at some point. i dislike that game so...i shall review it at some point

Poles
05-27-2013, 08:43 PM
Review "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas".

Umbreon
05-27-2013, 08:45 PM
Review "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas".
Maybe. i never played the story i just run around and kill everyone lol. i'll look into it.

Uprising
05-27-2013, 09:12 PM
I DARE YOU TO REVIEW TETRIS IN AN ACTUAL REVIEW LONGER THAN 2 PARAGRAPHS

Poles
05-27-2013, 09:13 PM
I DARE YOU TO REVIEW TETRIS IN AN ACTUAL REVIEW LONGER THAN 2 PARAGRAPHS
The story is groundbreaking.

Umbreon
05-27-2013, 09:26 PM
I DARE YOU TO REVIEW TETRIS IN AN ACTUAL REVIEW LONGER THAN 2 PARAGRAPHS

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/266/158/d8b.png

Umbreon
05-27-2013, 09:35 PM
http://ragefaces.s3.amazonaws.com/503e2bb5ae7c700dcb00000b/challenge-accepted.png

http://i.imgur.com/lGKBHzW.jpg

Story:
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..this is Tetris so...there is none. (and yet i have still seen fanfics of this...REALLY? How the fuck is that even possible?) I'll just take the 10 here and make it out of 40 instead.

Graphics;
The graphics are pretty decent. The graphics are ncie and colorful and bright. They are pretty decent for GBC standards. The blocks move decently without any lag or anything so those are well done as well.
5/10

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is your basic Tetris gameplay. You move shaped blocks around to make a full line if squares. The game is never ending and is very addicting. Iv'e had this game for a couple years now and i still play it all the time. The controls are very basic and simple. A and B switch the way the blocks are facing. Holding down makes the blocks go down faster. Your basic stuff.
Gameplay - 8/10
Controls - 9/10

Music:
There is ONE song in the whole game. That song is one of the most memorable, most well known, catchiest and overall greatest songs in gaming history. It is catchy and upbeat. Overall a great song. I still listen to it all the time.
9/10

32/40

Overall:
An addicting little game that is very cheap. if you have a GB/GBC/GBA or 3DS (i think it's on the shop thing...) i HIGHLY reccomend this. It is one of the great games.


I hope this is overall more than 2 paragraphs.

Uprising
05-27-2013, 09:42 PM
http://www.mlponline.net/attachments/3440835-_c1309d6e9625a2eb092b4d3f47578eee-jpg.9311/

BBC7
05-29-2013, 07:24 PM
Review Superman 64. I heard that game is a piece of shit, so I want to see all the bad things you have to say about it.

Umbreon
05-29-2013, 07:50 PM
http://i.imgur.com/FrGJffy.jpg

Developed By - Titus Software
Published By - Titus Software
Release Date - May 29th, 1999


Story:
All right...the story is that Lex Luthor has captured Lois Lane and the rest of Superman's friends and has imprisoned them in a virtual world. This COULD be interesting. There are MANY possiblities but....they use none of them. Therefore this story COULD have been great if it was done better but....it isn't good.
5/10

Graphics:
MY EYES!!!! Ok...it isn't THAT bad but....it is REALLY bad. The colors of the backgrounds are horrible, the water looks horrible, The models look pretty bad. It isn't the WORST i have ever seen (I'm lookin at you Bubsy 3D) but it still is horrendous. The animation is....tolerable, i guess. Most of the buldings seem blocky as well and the draw distance is horrible.
2/10

Gameplay/Controls:
This game has 14 levels. Half of them are called "Ride Levels" the other half is called "Action Stages". The ride stages are the most infamous and are usually the first thing you think of when you think of this game. In these stages you fly through rings. That's it. There's a few small minigames in between sections but...that is it. Nothing more. These are very repetitive and boring because of no variety. The action stages are basically horribly controled segements where you go through a building and do a specific mission. These are better but they are stil repetitive. This game is mostly famous for one thing: Glitches. There are hundreds all over the place. Hell, i still play this game all of the time just to see how much i can break it. As for controls....they are awkward. You use the Z button to start flying, and the controls are inverted (that isnt a problem though). Punching and other attacks seem really stiff and slow and they are useless anyways.
[b]Gameplay - 3/10 (5/10 if exploiting glitches is

Umbreon
05-29-2013, 07:53 PM
Oh..and this still isn't my least favorite game

Umbreon
05-30-2013, 11:54 AM
THIS IS THE WORST GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED.

http://i.imgur.com/hQ2wepu.jpg
PUBLISHED BY - Sega
DEVELOPED BY - Sonic Team
DATE OF RELEASE - November, 14th, 2006

Story -
This is a horrible story. It feels like Sonic Fanfiction and not even a good one. The plot is Eggman is kidnapping a princess because...idk it isn't fully explained. i THINK it is because she knows where the Chaos Emeralds are and he wants to know it or something. The plot, like i said, seems like a bad sonic fanfiction written by a 10 year old. This is NOT a good story in any way, shape, or form. Horrible. Just horrible.
2/10

Graphics
Meh. This isnt that great but it doesnt suck cactus dick or anything. The models look...bleh. the levels look....bleh. All of it is just....bleh. It isn't the WORST graphics ever but...it is still horrible.
3/10

Gameplay/Controls
Broken. Abolsutely Broken. It's like if they took every good thing about 3D sonic games and threw it away. The controls seem stiff and awkward, the animations is lacking a bit, the gameplay is either WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too difficult or WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too easy, it is just a mess. The gameplay is your basic sonic stuff but with bad controls, glitches, bad level design, and a bunch of pointless gimmicks. There are a ton of playable characters. And all of them suck in their own special way. Sonic has Mach Speed segments which are the worst thing ever. Shadow doesn't move as fast as sonic (WHICH DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE BTW!!!) and his gamplay is mainly controlling poorly controlled vehicles. Tails is a SLOW character who cannot attack well and can fly....for like 2 seconds. Knuckle's glide is horribly controlled and goes down at an angle so it takes a long time to get used to, Rouge is horribly controlled and glitches out with the wall climbign WAY too often, Silver is the worst thing about this game. His powers barely work and he cannot attack well nor go fast. The gameplay is broken. There are glitches EVERYWHERE. EVERY level has a TON of glitches but...unlike in Superman 64, these glitches aren't fun to mess around with at all.
Gameplay - 2/10
Controls - 3/10

Music
The best thing about this game...BUT THAT AIN'T SAYIN MUCH! The soundtrack is tolerable....His World is ok..but...that's just it. Sonic soundtracks aren't supposed to be decent they are supposed to be AMAZING. But...on its own...it is a decent soundtrack.
5/10

15/100

Overall
This is the worst game i have ever played. I would rather Play E.T. I would rather play Superman 64. I would rather play Bubsy 3D. i would rather watch DINOSAUR ADVENTURE (bonus points if you know what that is) than play this game. Just do yourself a favor and buy a GOOD 3D sonic game. Like Sonic Heroes, or Sonic Adventure, or Sonic Adventure 2..Hell Sonic Unleashed is better.

Batman Heisenberg
05-30-2013, 01:06 PM
GOOD REVIEW!!! Lets seeeeee, maybe do the Wii Resort Game?

Umbreon
05-30-2013, 03:22 PM
GOOD REVIEW!!! Lets seeeeee, maybe do the Wii Resort Game?
If i owned the game i would :/

What i really want to do is review each pokemon generation but i dont know how i am gonna do it.

Umbreon
05-30-2013, 03:40 PM
http://i.imgur.com/OS1q1ha.jpg

Published By – Nintendo
Developed By – HAL Lab & Goodfeel Games
Release Date – October, 17, 2010

Story:
The story is bland but it has some interesting concepts. One day, Kirby is asleep under a tree. Then, an evil sorcerer named Yin-Yarn shows up and tries to kill Kirby. Kirby accidentally eats a magical Tomato called the Yarn-mato. This transports Kirby to another world where everything is made of yarn and other fabrics in order to save their world and Kirby’s world. Nothing too special but it does get told decently well and makes some interesting concepts.
6/10

Graphics
This game looks amazing. It is bright and colorful and looks VERY creative. Every level is made of yarn and other fabric so it looks pretty nice. It just looks great.
8/10

Gameplay/Controls
This isn’t your average Kirby game. He cannot float, he cannot eat, and he cannot absorb powers. Instead he is made of yarn so he can transform into different things (A train, a boat, a spaceship, ect.). This keeps the game interesting. The basic goal is the same goal as most platformers. Get from start to finish and collect 3 hidden objects in the levels. You cannot die at all but that doesn’t make it too easy. There are also bosses. These bosses are both creative and fun to fight and are overall done really well. The game can seem really easy at sometimes but if you are trying to 100% it it can be a LITTLE difficult. Not too interesting game play the entire way through but the game is still really fun and can be interesting at some points. The controls are your average 2D platformer on Wii stuff.
Gameplay – 7/10
Controls – 7/10

Music
Amazing. Most of it is cheerful music so there is little variety but…….it is still fucking AMAZING. I love almost every soundtrack in this game. From Outer Rings to Tempest Tower every soundtrack is great.
9/10

37/50

Overall:
It may be a tad too easy at points but…dat music….dat creativity…..dat graphics….they are all worth it. I love this game and don’t get why others don’t. It may actually be my favorite Kirby Game and one of my favorite Wii games.

unknowed
05-31-2013, 02:14 PM
review not Tetris it free for pc

Umbreon
05-31-2013, 02:22 PM
http://i.imgur.com/rafE08f.jpg
Developed By - Konami
Published By - Konami
Release Date - December 1989

Story - There is BARELY a story and the story the DO have sucks. Dracula is back. That is it. No other story elements nor plot lines at all so....ugh.
2/10

Graphics - They look average for the time. Not amazing but not horrendous. It looks decent and it has decent animations but...bleh.
5/10

Gameplay/Controls - And...this is where it falls flat. The gameplay is bad. First off...this a boring fucking game. There is little level variety and enemy types so.....it gets very repetitive VERY fast. Second, you move SOOOOOOO slow. Almost every enemy in the entire game is faster than you are and that makes it hard to dodge everything. Third, the jumping is horrendous. In other games like Mario and Sonic, if you jump and then press left, you move left. in THIS game, nothing happens. You have to press left and the jump button at the same time. This gets very annoying and hard to get used to and makes it especially hard to dodge moving obstacle and do platforming. Fourth...the enemies have way to big of a hitbox. You get hit when they dont even come close to you. Fifth, the attack is delayed so it is difficult to time your attacks on enemies. Sixth, this is so different from Castlevania it shouldn't even be considered a Castlevania game. hearts heal you in this game......when they are money in the other castlevania games. The controls, as i stated, are horrendous.
Gameplay - 3/10
Controls - 3/10

Music - ONE SONG. ONE. NOT TWO. NOT THREE, ONE. And the worst part....it is a short ass song on an infinite loop. I CANNOT play this game with the sound on...it hurts me.
1/10

14/50

Overall - I still hate Sonic 06 more but.....this is bad. The reason i like Sonic 06 less? AT LEAST this one was on a handheld and had an excuse on why it was poorly made. AT LEAST this game was not over hyped like hell. I still like it more than Sonic 06 but.....it is TECHNICALLY worse.

Umbreon
06-07-2013, 12:00 AM
http://i.imgur.com/vCiyAdz.jpg
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Developed By - Insomniac Games
Release Date - November 11, 2003

Story:
Very well done. The story is basically that, right after the first game, Ratchet & Clank have gotten bored from not doing much after defeating Chairman Drek. They suddenly get teleported to a different galaxy and are asked to save a expirement called the "Protopet" from a mysterious thief. This story is very well done with a lot of surprise twists on who the real villain is. Better than the first game and it was already pretty damn good.
9/10


Graphics:
Better than the first game. and seeing as the first game looked pretty damn good. The planets look beautiful and the character models are a major upgrade from the first game. Each character has animation that is near perfection. It is pretty damn impressive.
8/10

Gameplay/Controls:
Controls are the same as in the first game so they get the same score. It gets one point more because the controls seem less stiff.As for the gameplay. it is the same as the first game with MAJOR improvements. First, it has an RPG element to it. As you defeat enemies your weapons level up and get an upgrade. upgrading your weapons is surprisingly addictive. You will get to the point where you never want to use an upgraded gun because you want to upgrade your other weapons to the max. You also upgrade as you kill enemies and gain more and more health every level up. In the first game you could skip a lot of enemies because you had no purpose of killing them. Here, you want to kill every enemy so you can level up. You can also buy armor which increases your defenses and are entirely optional so you can be a bad ass and go through the whole game with no armor if you want to. Also, you can buy upgrades for your weapons like lock-ons, toxic mods, and more. You unlock these by exploring each planet and finding hidden items. In the first game, these items didnt do much. in this game, you want to collect them so your weapons can be better and better. You get the ship parts in a similar manner by collecting an item called Raritanium in spaceship fights. These fights are pretty fun to do, especially with the ship upgrades. Second, the weapons are MUCH more interesting. Instead of just A pistol, a machine gun, a flamethrower, ect. we have a ninja star, remote control spiders, a large bomb that keeps releasing more bombs as it explodes, a gun that shoots a beam of lava, a gun that shoots meteors, homing missles, and much more. The wrench also got a major upgrade. it does more damage and you can move while throwing it. Third, the checkpoints are mroe common than in the first game but not so common the game becomes too easy. Third, this game is more challenging. but, again, not so challening you'll rage quit. Fourth, bolts are MUCH easier to get in this game. You can do Arena challenges (Where you kill enemies for bolts), Hovercart races (Where you race at high speeds against other racers for bolts), and more. Fifth, New Game Plus is one of, if not the, greatest New game Plus i have EVER seen. You get to play through the game again with a harder difficulty with all the weapons you had, with extra upgrades to all of your guns, with a bolt multiplyer, with a better armor option, AND a beta mode where you can go into a museum and view/test a ton of beat elements from the first game and this one. A MAJOR improvement in every way, shape, and form.
Controls - 7/10
Gameplay - 10/10

Music:
Better than the first game. it is a lot more cathier than in the first game.
8/10

42/50 (unintentional Hitchiker reference FTW!)

Overall:
Amazing. One of the greatest games ever IMO. A must own if you like 3rd person shooter-ish games or 3D platformers.

Umbreon
06-19-2013, 11:11 PM
http://i.imgur.com/gUsVb1n.jpg
Developed By - Crystal Dynamics
Published By - Midway Games
Release Date - January 31, 1998


Story:
Before i explain Gex 2's story i should explain the original's story. You are a Gecko named Gex who inherited a fortune when your parents died. You now never leave your house and always watch TV. One day, you ea a fly and get sucked into the TV because an evil entitiy named ReZz. You go through different channels of TV to get to ReZz and escape. You stop him and live your life normally. Years later, ReZz returns and the government hires you top stop him. Again, you must go through different channels to stop him. However, the N64 version has no story at all.
6/10


Graphics:
The graphics are decent for the time. The models look decent and the frame rate is tolerably ok.
6/10

Gameplay/Controls:
The controls are what hurts this game. The controls are stiff and can be kind of unresponsive at times. A lot of time you miss jumps due to unresponsive controls. it doesn't kill this game, mind you, but it does hurt it. The gameplay is your basic 3D platformer fare for the time. Enter a level from a homeworld, do 3 missions in each level, collect coins ect, The levels are movie themed and are creative. Samurai movie levels, Horror levels, cartoon levels, sci fi levels, and more. The gameplay is basic and is pretty good.
Gameplay - 6/10
Controls - 5/10

Music:
Well done. The music in each level matched perfectly with the level themes. The cartoon level has cartoony music, the horro music has supensful music, ect.
7/10

29/50


Overall:
This is a pretty good game. The controls can be unresponsive and the one liners and joeks can get a bit annoying but if you like movies and platformers you'll love this game. but the 3rd game in the trilogy is even better. And i'll review that....at some point But first, the Gameboy Color version of this game.

GonadTheNomad
06-19-2013, 11:49 PM
I read Gex as sex. :)

Umbreon
06-25-2013, 12:22 AM
http://i.imgur.com/gUsVb1n.jpg
Developed By - Crystal Dynamics
Published By - Midway Games
Release Date - December 15th, 1998

Story
The same as the PS1 version so...same score
6/10

Graphics
Pretty decent for a GBC game. It's nice and colorful. Not amazing but not horrible.
5/10

Gameplay/Controls:
The same as the PS1 version except the levels are smaller (for obvious reasons). you move a bit slower but it isn't that bad. There are also less levels than in the Console version. Controls still a bit stiff.
Gameplay - 4/10
Controls - 5/10

Music:
Bad. Pretty bad. Really bad. It is repetitive, doesn't sound good and isnt catchy at all
3/10

23/50

Overall:
A decent port of a decent game. If you like Gex, play it.

Umbreon
06-25-2013, 12:23 AM
And no, i have no idea what i'm doing next and no, i dont know when i'm doing another ERB review

Dr. Stein
06-25-2013, 12:59 AM
When you get the time, could you do Yugioh: Duel Transfer. I've always wanted to play that game.

Umbreon
06-25-2013, 01:32 AM
When you get the time, could you do Yugioh: Duel Transfer. I've always wanted to play that game.

Of course. I'll do it tomorrow if ERBOF doesn't completely drain me of writing skill

Main problem is gameplay because i'd have to explain Yugioh's gameplay

Dr. Stein
06-25-2013, 03:09 AM
Alright

Umbreon
06-25-2013, 04:03 PM
NOTE: If you don't play Yugioh you will have no idea what i'm talkin about. I reference the anime and the card game a lot so.....yeah.

http://i.imgur.com/RR8ydfK.jpg
Published By - ???
Developed By - Konami
Release Date - December, 10th, 2008

Story:
The story takes place in the middle of 5D's 1st season. (In between the tournament and the Dark Signer Arc). You play as a kid who is kidnapped and forced to enter a tournament. You wake up in a room with the Signers (Yusei, Akiza, Jack, Crow, and Luna). A man comes in and tells you you cannot leave until the tournament. The winner will become a God. You basically just have to win the tournament. The story has decent twists here and there and is well told.
6/10

Graphics:
No 3D models or anything but it still looks good. the sprites look decent and the animations are decent.
7/10

Gameplay/Controls:
Yugioh fans will know what i mean when i say this: A YUGIOH GAME ON A HOME CONSOLE WHERE YOU ACTUALLY PLAY YUGIOH!!!!...now that that's done. The gameplay is a board game where you roll a dice and move on a board. When you land on the same space as someone else you duel them. I would explain the gameplay but...it'd take me forever to explain yugioh lol. I will say this, the game asks if you want to chain something too much. If you set MST (again...yugioh players know what i mean), it will ask you 7 times in one turn if you want to chain it and that gets annoying. This is back when the Meta wasn't completely shit so it's fun to play. No Xyz though. Controls are simple. D-Pad to move, A to select. Thats about it.
Gameplay: 8/10
Controls: 7/10

Music:
Pretty nice. It has a techno feel and it feels epic. Pretty nice dueling music.
8/10

36/50

Overall:
If you like Yugioh you'll like this game. If you dont and want to elarn how to, this game can help a bit. If you dont like yugioh then dont play it.

Dr. Stein
06-26-2013, 12:49 PM
That bit with MST does get pretty annoying. It happened to me alot in Duel Accelarator. And, i've always wanted to know this, do you get to transfer your real life deck into the game? I've always been confused on that.

Umbreon
06-26-2013, 01:36 PM
That bit with MST does get pretty annoying. It happened to me alot in Duel Accelarator. And, i've always wanted to know this, do you get to transfer your real life deck into the game? I've always been confused on that.

Nope. This game doesn't have a password system so you cant do it that way. you'd have to buy packs until you get the cards you want and build it from scratch

Umbreon
08-07-2013, 04:53 PM
A Sonic 06 Follow Up

All right. A while back, i reviewed Sonic 06 and called it the worst game ever. I hated on the plot, the characters, the gameplay, The glitches, the graphics. Everything in it is horrible. But im not done. I could have gone on for a LOT longer and gone into more detail on why it is the worst thing ever. So i am going to redo thye review and go into more detail. So...let's do it.

http://i.imgur.com/hQ2wepu.jpg


Story:
This....this is fucking horrible. It's bad fanfiction, it has way too many plot holes and horrible dialogue. The story is just you saving a princess over and over and over. It gets boring doing the same thing over and over again. Apparently a demon is trapped inside of a princess and if she ever cries the demon would be released and it would destroy the world. She has this demon because her father trapped it inside her to save the world. This killed him. So...you're telling me that an 8 year old never cried when her father died? That makes no fucking sense. it has time travel in it so there's plot holes. Shadow can travel in time now so...why doesnt he just go back in time and stop this? Why doesnt he just go back in time and save Maria? It makes no sense. It wouldn't cause a paradox because Sonic does it and saves the Princess and THAT doesnt cause a paradox so...why doesn't Shadow just do it? Too many plot holes, and bad writing. It's just bad.
2/10

Graphics:
In my original review, i said the graphics were only meh. This IS true but somethign i didnt cover is the models much. The character models LOOK decent but havve little to no animation. They show no emotions. In the other games in the sonic series, the characters had animation and showed emotion. You can tell how the characters feel. In this game, they just seem boring and bland. This doesnt really cover graphics but...the characters are nothing like they should be. Their personality is way off. Sonic is too serious. In the other games, Sonic made jokes and one liners, taunted enemies, and was never too serious. Shadow is too overpowered and too serious and stupid. Shadow and Sonci are supposed to have equal strength. In this game, Shadow destroys sonic which makes no sense. It's like this for EVERYBODY. Nobody asks like they are supposed to. It's just horrible.
3/10

Gameplay/Controls
This..SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. It's...amazingly bad. It's like if they took every good thing about 3D sonic games and threw it away. The controls seem stiff and awkward, the animations is lacking a bit, the gameplay is either WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too difficult or WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too easy, it is just a mess. The gameplay is your basic sonic stuff but with bad controls, glitches, bad level design, and a bunch of pointless gimmicks. There are a ton of playable characters. And all of them suck in their own special way. Sonic has Mach Speed segments which are the worst thing ever. You lose control of sonic except for moving left and right as he dashes through a segment. If you touch ANYTHING you die. These are horribly programmed and horribly glitchy. Shadow doesn't move as fast as sonic (WHICH DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE BTW!!!) and his gamplay is mainly controlling poorly controlled vehicles and fighting wave after wave of boring enemies. It just isnt fun at all. Tails is a SLOW character who cannot attack well and can fly....for like 2 seconds. When he runs out of breath and has to land in other sonic games, you can control taisl while he is landing. This way, you wont fall into pits as often and have a chance of saving yourself. NOT IN THIS GAME! Knuckle's glide is horribly controlled and goes down at an angle so it takes a long time to get used to, Rouge is horribly controlled and glitches out with the wall climbign WAY too often. Most of the time you're gonna get stuck on a wall and not be able to jump off. In Rouge's missions, you have to find 3 things. In Sonic Adventure 2, this worked because there was a radar system helping you. NOT IN THIS FUCKIGN GAME. You're going to spend hours looking for these fuckign things in huge ass levels. Silver is the worst thing about this game. In cutscenes, they make him out to be a badass. While playing as him, it sucks horribly. His powers barely work and he cannot attack well nor go fast. E123 Omega is the closest we have to decent. He goes FASTER THAN SONIC, jumps decently, and has projectile attacks. Amy is fucking horrible. She's too slow, has no attack range, and is just horrible to play as. Blaze the Cat is ok. She's just a sonic clone but controls a bit better. Too bad you only play as her twice.The gameplay is broken. There are glitches EVERYWHERE. EVERY level has a TON of glitches but...unlike in Superman 64, these glitches aren't fun to mess around with at all. There's a meter at the bottom of the screen. This represents Magic. It's supposed to run out as you preform special abilities and slowly recharge. That would be fine...if the didnt forget to program the Magic meter running out. There are so many things like that that break the game entirely. The controls are non sensical. The button layout is akward and doesnt work well at all. I could go on but...There's just too much to cover.
Gameplay - 2/10
Controls - 3/10

Music:
The music is pretty good. His world is decent as is the rest of the music. Do yourself a favor and buy the soundtrack and not this game.
5/10

Overall:
15/100

This is STILL the worst game i have ever played. Almost every single thing about it sucks Im the type of guy who respects opinions but...if you like this, You are wrong. There is nothing good, nothing salvagable. The ideas could have worked if they were done better but through horrible controls, multiple glitches, bad level design, borign cutscenes, bad dialogue and horrible bosses It's a train wreck.

GonadTheNomad
08-07-2013, 07:23 PM
New review, sort of.

Yayz : D

Umbreon
11-16-2013, 12:16 AM
All right. I want to bring these back and do a themed month for November. You decide what theme because fuck you.

Tony Hawk Pro Skater
3D Sonic
Pokemon (and Spinoffs may take more than 1 month)

Poles
11-16-2013, 12:24 AM
All right. I want to bring these back and do a themed month for November. You decide what theme because fuck you.

Tony Hawk Pro Skater
3D Sonic
Pokemon (and Spinoffs may take more than 1 month)
no

Okay, I don't think I've read a Pokemon review before.
Do those.

Umbreon
11-16-2013, 12:29 AM
a list of games i'd be reviewing for each theme

TONY HAWK

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4
Tony Hawk Underground
Tony Hawk Underground 2
Tony Hawk American Wasteland
Tony Hawk American Sk8land


SONIC

Sonic 3D Blast!
Sonic Adventure
Sonic Shuffle
Sonic Adventure 2
Sonic Heroes
Shadow The Hedgehog
Sonic & The Black Knight
Sonic and The Secret of the Rings
Sonic Colors


POKEMON

Pokemon: Generation 1
Pokemon Snap
Pokemon Stadium
Hey, You Pikachu!
Pokemon: generation 2
Pokemon Stadium 2
Pokemon TCG: The Game
Pokemon: Generation 3
Pokemon Colosseum and XD
Pokemon: Generation 4
Pokepark and Pokepark 2
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Pokemon mystery Dungeon games
Pokemon: generation 5

GonadTheNomad
11-16-2013, 12:33 AM
a list of games i'd be reviewing for each theme

TONY HAWK

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4
Tony Hawk Underground
Tony Hawk Underground 2
Tony Hawk American Wasteland
Tony Hawk American Sk8land


SONIC

Sonic 3D Blast!
Sonic Adventure
Sonic Shuffle
Sonic Adventure 2
Sonic Heroes
Shadow The Hedgehog
Sonic & The Black Knight
Sonic and The Secret of the Rings
Sonic Colors


POKEMON

Pokemon: Generation 1
Pokemon Snap
Pokemon Stadium
Hey, You Pikachu!
Pokemon: generation 2
Pokemon Stadium 2
Pokemon TCG: The Game
Pokemon: Generation 3
Pokemon Colosseum and XD
Pokemon: Generation 4
Pokepark and Pokepark 2
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Pokemon mystery Dungeon games
Pokemon: generation 5


Pokeymans.

Umbreon
11-16-2013, 12:33 AM
Pokemon it is. I'll do the other themes another time

Umbreon
11-16-2013, 01:24 AM
here is how im doing things. Everyone knows Pokemon gameplay, controls, and stuff like that so i wont review those. Instead...Note that these are being reviewed as pokemon games, not as actual games.

Generation 1:
Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow

POKEMON VARIETY
One of the least creative designs. Grimer is just goo, Muk is just a bigger Grimer, Voltorb is a ball, Electrode is a bigger Voltorb, Koffing is a sphere, Weezign is just a bigger Koffing..wait...this has a pattern..hm..anyways, least creative designs. there's some good ones here, but a lot are shitty.
11/20

POKEDEX VARIETY
Decent variety in types. Every type has a decent amount of pokemon except for Dragon (Which is understandable). So..a decent amount of variety.
18/20

VILLANOUS TEAM
Team Rocket. All they want is money....k. This wasnt bad for the time but...compared to the other teams who want world destruction and to awaken an ancient deity to destroy the universe..this seems...kinda bland. Team Rocket is probably my least favorite Villanous team. However, Giovanni is awesome which saves the score a bit.
13/20

MUSIC
GB sound card =/= good but it has some pretty gud themes. Regular trainer theme is meh as is the Wild Battle theme but the Gym leader theme is really great. The rest of the music is decent.
13/20

AFTERGAME
Uh...Mewtwo...that's pretty much it...so.......
0/20



...
Fine...we'll do Fire Red and Leaf Green's aftergame for this. The Sevii Islands. They are a decnet aftergame but nothing special.The main problem is..there's not much to do. it's just fight a bunch of Team Rocket members and thats it.
12/20


OVERALL:
58/100
The first gen is...ok. Not great but ok. it's the generation i play the least but it's not bad.





Something i gotta mention..the horrible sprites


http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/2/23/Spr_1b_042.png
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? THAT IS FUCKING HORRIBLE.

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/3/38/Spr_1g_151.png
It got a tumor.

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/b/bc/Spr_1g_040.png
THOSE EYES.

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/f/ff/Spr_1g_149.png
Looks Derpy as fuck

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/c/cc/Spr_1g_023.png
WTF

Faker
11-16-2013, 01:31 AM
Nice review! :D

Man, now I feel I gotta do something with Pokemon since that's pretty much who I am here, but I can't think of anything original. XD

GonadTheNomad
11-16-2013, 01:55 AM
Moarcat.jpg

Umbreon
11-16-2013, 06:54 PM
Before i move on to snap, there is one game i need to discuss because it came out first.

Hey, You Pikachu!

An attempt to make the N64 Mic work that fails miserably but it isn't HORRIBLE. I remember liking it decently as a kid. So..a quick review of that before i get on to snap.

STORY
You find a wild Pikachu. That's it. Okay, i didnt expect a groundbreaking story but....this is still kinda bleh, It is a throwaway game in the series so you cant expect much from it though.
10/20

GRAPHICS
They used the sprites from Stadium so....they are good by N64 standards.
17/20


CONTROLS & GAMEPLAY
Uh..there are none so.....lets go over voice commands i guess. They dont work well all the time but they work decently enough. And some of the reactions are kinda funny (If you say "Electric Rat" Pikachu gets angry, if you say "Sony" or "Playstation" he electrocutes you, ect.) You control Pikachu and do a variety of missions that range from treasure Hunting to saving Caterpie. It works decently enough but the voice commands are kinda iffy and the gameplay is very repetitive.
Controls - 10/20
Gameplay - 12/20

MUSIC
It's basic cheery stuff and nothing much else. It's catchy but repetitive in themes.
13/20

OVERALL
A decent little game. If you can get an N64 Mic, it's a decent purchase but dont expect much.
62/100


Pokemon Snap will be coming later.

Umbreon
11-19-2013, 09:31 PM
I know it's late but...fuck you.


Pokemon Snap time!

STORY
You play as Todd Snap. He wants to be a photographer instead of a trainer...for some reason....and goes to Professor Oak for help. Professor Oak gives him a camera and sends a 10 year old on a dangerous journey through raging rapids, active volcanoes, and dark jungles....Professor Oak does this a lot doesnt he? Anyways...the story is nothing special. I know i cant expect much from a game where you take pictures but....yeah.
10/20

GRAPHICS
They used the Pokemon Stadium sprites again so.................................yeah.
17/20

GAMEPLAY
This is a first person shooter...kinda. You obviously aren't using guns to shoot pokemon you're using a camera...yes this sounds unbelievably stupid but....there's no buts. it is unbelievably stupid. But it plays alright. The controls are decent and the gameplay is actually rather fun. You go from location to location taking pictures of 70 of the 151 pokemon from gen 1. I kind of wish that there were more Pokemon. Thats one of the main problems with this game: Lack of variety. You see the same pokemon over and over because of the lack luster amount of Pokemon in the game. At the end of every stage you geoget evaluated on how well you did. If you get a high enough score, you unlock the next area. To keep the game a little interesting they do give you things to throw at the pokemon. You can throw smoke balls to knock the pokemon out or you can throw bait and have the pokemon follow it. Making pokemon do certain poses gets you more points. (If you hit a Pikachu on a surfboard you get bonus points, if you get a Dratini doign a flip you get more points, etc.) You can even get pokemon to evolve by hitting them into special areas (hitting a magikarp into a waterfall gets you a gyarados, hitting a Dragonair into a whirlpool gets you a Dragonite, etc.). When you beat the game, certain symbols of pokemon appear at each level. if you take a picture of them all, you unlock a pointless bonus area with Mew. Pointless, but hey. Its kind of cool to see Mew, the cute little bastard. Like i said, the gameplay works great and so do the controls but the lack of Pokemon and boring level design, it's just not that fun to replay.
Controls - 17/20
Gameplay - 12/20

MUSIC
Decent i guess. Soooooo...the same score as Hey You Pikachu got.
13/20

OVERALL
A pretty decent game in the Pokemon Spin-Off series. At first you'd think it is really stupid, but after playing it you'll find it is pretty decent. Im one of the few who actually want a sequel. It isnt that long of a game so if you got an afternoon to kill, why not?
69/100 (NO ONE MAKE ANY JOKES)


Next up is Pokemon Stadium!

Umbreon
11-19-2013, 09:49 PM
TIme for Pokemon Stadium! 2! Technically! Well, in 1996, Japan got a game called "Pokemon Stadium". It had 50 of the original 151 Pokemon in it. About a year or so later, a sequel came out Pokemon Stadium 2. When Stadium 2 came to US they chanegd the name to Stadium 1 because we never got hte forst one so...im reviewing that version.

STORY
You play as a trainer. Thats pretty much it. Uh...wat do...uh..
0/20





Fine....i'll make the other categories out of 25 instead.


GRAPHICS
You already know
23/25

GAMEPLAY
Its basically playing pokemon on a big screen...only sucky. What made Pokemon fun wasn't JUST the battles. It was the exploration and leveling up as well...you dont get that here. It's just choosing what pokemon you want and battling. It gets REALLY boring REALLY fast, Thats the main problem with this game but sadly, there's more. The pokemon they give you suck donkey balls. They give these pokemon the worst movesets possible. They didnt even try. They did this so you have to buy a Poke-Transfer pack for your N64. Since i dont own one, fak u. The controls are weird. They made it so choosing moves requires the C buttons....why? Why didnt they just make it press A, then choose a move like in the other games? It makes no fucking sense. But thats not all! There's also 2 other features: Gameboy Tower and Kid's Corner. Gameboy Tower is a bad emulator trying to play a pokemon game. IDK if it's just me but this feature slows the game down a LOT. as for Kid's Corner, it's a bunch of mini-games. They arent Mario Party great but they are at least decent,
Gameplay - 10/25
Controls - .....idk....uh.....15/25

MUSIC
Pretty good remixes of the songs from the games. These are actually decently done.
20/25

OVERALL
A meh game. The Music is good, the graphics are good, and the minigames are decent, but the Gameboy Tower is slow and the overall gameplay is boring to sit through and play. The pokemon have horrible movesets and is just uninteresting.
68/100

Next up in Gen 2.

Umbreon
11-20-2013, 10:22 PM
Generation 2:
Gold, Silver, and Crystal

POKEMON VARIETY
One of the best in terms of variety. All 100 pokemon added are creative and/or cool looking. Heracross, Umbreon, Girafarig, Umbreon, Granbull, Umbreon, Espeon, and Umbreon. One of, if not the, best designed pokemon in the whole series.
19/20

POKEDEX VARIETY
Same pokedex as last time with 100 pokemon added. I WOULD give it the same score but t lacks Dark and Steel-types so...-1 point i guess.
17/20

VILLANOUS TEAM
Same as last time but a lot worse. In the first game, you had Giovanni save the score from being horrible but in this, it's just Team Rocket again with a slightly different goal. Ugh.
10/20

MUSIC
Some of the best in the series. The Gym Leader theme is great, the Rival theme is one of the best, the Kanto Gym remix is great,and the Champion theme is one of my favorite game songs ever of all time.
17/20

AFTERGAME
You get to play through Kanto again! Great right!? no. Kanto is too small, too short, and has too low leveled pokemon. Fighting level 4 pokemon in the aftergame is fucking ridiculous. And thats actually a MAJOR problem with the game: The wild pokemon are too low leveled and the rematches are too scarce.
14/20


[B]OVERALL:
77/100
The second gen is fantastic but....is really annoying. On one hand, the music is amazing and the pokemon are amazing...but on the other, trainign is horrible and the aftergame is bleh.

Umbreon
11-21-2013, 10:04 PM
A quick (REALLY quick) review of Stadium 2

GRAPHICS
same as last time
23/25

GAMEPLAY/CONTROLS
Same but more fun minigames so an extra 2 points
Gameplay - 12/25
Controls - 10/25

MUSIC
same as last time really but remixes of Gen 2 themes which makes it better actually.
22/25

OVERLALL
Better than the first one.
81/100

Next up is Gen 3 because Gen 2 had no spin off games for some reason.

Spars
11-21-2013, 10:16 PM
Generation 2:
Gold, Silver, and Crystal

POKEMON VARIETY
One of the best in terms of variety. All 100 pokemon added are creative and/or cool looking. Heracross, Umbreon, Girafarig, Umbreon, Granbull, Umbreon, Espeon, and Umbreon. One of, if not the, best designed pokemon in the whole series.
19/20


I'm thinking you forgot Umbreon.

YellowNerd
11-22-2013, 04:36 PM
Umbreon, Can ya review the games : Beyond Two Souls, Soul Calibur IV , Dead or Alive , Dead Rising 2

Umbreon
11-24-2013, 06:56 PM
I said Gen 3 is next but i forgot 2 games.

Pokemon TCG and TCG 2

Now, the card game is something i used to do and still have a deck for but....i like yugioh more so i kind of ignore it. Anyways...the card game came out around the same time as the gen 1 games. A few years later, we got a video game based on the TCG for the gameboy. It didnt do that well in America and Europe but did great in japan so when they made the sequel to it, they only released it in Japan. These games are basically the same thing as each other but TCG 2 has a slightly different story and new cards. While the game was never released in America, there are fan translations so..i'll be reviewing them really quick.

STORY
Team Rocket is evil
0/20


fine...Team Rocket is trying to steal perfect cards so they can be the best card game players ever. Why? BECAUSE FUCK YOU. Yeah...this sucks. But, it is a card game so...what did i expect?
10/20


GRAPHICS
Same as gen 1 except slightly better because you dotn have to deal with crappy sprites.
15/20

GAMEPLAY/CONTROLS
If you think i'm going over the whole card game....you were kind of right. I dont want to type out instructions so....i will steal it from another site!


n a game of the Pokémon Trading Card Game (commonly abbreviated as Pokémon TCG, or simply as TCG [TCG refers to ALL Trading Card Games and is in no way solely affiliated with Pokemon TCG.]), players take on the role of a Pokémon trainer, using their creatures to battle. Players play Pokémon to the field and use their attacks to reduce the opponent's HP. When a Pokémon's HP is reduced to 0 it is knocked out and the player who knocked it out takes a Prize card into their hand. A player may win the game in 3 ways; by collecting all of their prize cards (initially 6, some cards can increase this), if their opponent runs out of Pokémon on the field or if at the beginning of their opponent's turn there are no cards left to draw in the opponent's deck.
Players begin by shuffling their decks and drawing seven cards. Both players check to make sure they have at least one Basic Pokémon in their hand. If not, they must reshuffle and redraw and the opponent may draw one additional card. Once both players have at least one Basic, they both play 1 or more Basic Pokémon to their play field, 1 in the Active spot, and up to five on the "bench" (representing the 6 maximum carry limit from the video games). Players then take the top 6 cards of their remaining deck and place them to the side as their Prize Cards and flip a coin to see who goes first. (Note: Many players use dice instead of coins, even numbers representing Heads, odd numbers representing Tails.)
Play alternates between players who may take several actions during their turn including playing new Basic Pokémon, evolving into higher level Pokémon, playing Trainer cards, playing energy (of which one is generally put down; further, it is needed to use most attacks), using non-attack Pokémon abilities and retreating their active Pokémon. At the end of their turn, a player may use one of their Active Pokémon's attacks, provided the prerequisite amount and types of energy are attached to that Pokémon. Game effects from that attack are activated and damage is put on the defending Pokémon (some attacks simply have game effects but do not do damage). If the damage exceeds the defending Pokémon's HP, it is knocked out (i.e. discarded along with any attached cards) and the active player takes a prize card and ends their turn.
As with almost any card game, the "Golden Rule of Card Games" applies, stating that "whenever a card's text overrides the game rules, the card takes precedence". For example, the game rules state a player may only play one energy card per turn, but several Pokémon abilities allow additional energy to be played if that card is in play.

Anyways....the gameplay is just playing the TCG. and...i like the yugioh card game better. But that doesn't mean pokemon isnt bad. It's still a fun card game, i just like yugioh more. And i will say this, over the years the rules for the card game have changed so if you're used to the new rules this could take a bit to get used to.

Oh yeah...controls...uh..it's just the D-Pad and A so....basic controls that work well.
GAMEPLAY - 16/20
CONTROLS - 16/20

MUSIC
Pretty gud
15/20

OVERALL
I kinda wish they made another Pokemon TCG game. If they made it for Wii-U and make it like a DuelingNetwork or DevPro/YGOPro for Pokemon, and kept updating it with new rules and cards, it would probably sell real well. If you like the TCG, buy these 2 games..er...buy one and emulate the other i guess...unless you speak japanese, in that case, fly to Japan and get yourself a copy. Unless you already live there...in that case...buy the game...actually a lot of game stores wont have this probably so..order it online. I guess...idk.
73/100

Gen 3 is next (for real this time)

Umbreon
11-24-2013, 07:22 PM
time for Gen 3!

POKEMON VARIETY
Meh...it's not amazing but it's ok. The pokemon feel more tropican than before to fit with the theme. There are some crative pokemon here, Absol is kind of cool, the starters are cool, and a few others but a lot of them seem kind of bland. Wailor is just a whale. Not much special about it at all. Mightyena is just a wolf/hyena. Not much special except that it's black. It's decent but nothing special.
11/20

POKEDEX VARIETY
One of the worst. 2 electric types, 3 Fire-types, 2 Ice-types. Thats horrible. Probably the worst type variety in the series.
5/20

VILLIANOUS TEAM
You get two of them! AND THEY ARE BOTH FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got Team magma, who want to pour Rocket Fuel in a volcano so it'll erupt, cover the entire earth in lava, harden, and make it so the earth is 100% land.

:wat:

OKAY FIRST OFF, ONE Volcano wont have enough Lava to cover the ENTIRE PLANET IN LAVA!
SECONDLY: I did a bit of research on this and apparently, it takes 10-15 minutes for lava to cool down enough to walk on, but for it to harden fully could take up to 29 years. So even IF this worked, the planet would be unhabbitable for, like 29 years.
THIRDLY: If they get rid of water...HOW THE FUCK WOULD FUCK WOULD HUMANS SURVIVE?!

Later on, try to awaken Groudon by using a Blue-Sphere...why the FUCK would you think a BLUE Orb would awaken a RED POKEMON? THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!!

Team Aqua isnt much better. They want it to rain 100% of the time to cover the whole world in water. I would get more pissed at this but i raged enough at Team Magma. HOWEVER: They ARE memorable because of their stupidity.
9/20

AFTERGAME
Non-Existant. You get a few legendaries and the Battle Frontier.
10/20


MUSIC
Ok. Nothing i'll be humming but nothing horrible.
11/20

OVERALL:
Not as bad as others say but still meh. I dont mind all the Water routes people complain about They are optional and not that big of a problem. The music is ok, the variety is bad, the villanous team is fucking stupid but memorable.
52/100

Umbreon
11-26-2013, 09:41 PM
Time for a 2 for one thing because these games look and play the same!

STORY
The story in Colosseum is that you are a badass guy who works for an evil organization You find out people are stealing pokemon. You dislike this and steal their prized possession: that allows them to steal Pokemon. You ride your motorcycle but not your mega sports car (/references) with yoru Umbreon and Espeon and try to fight the evil team. It's a decent story because of your badass character.

As for XD, someone is stealing pokemon. Thats it. it isnt as good because your character is horrible.
Colosseum - 15/20
XD - 10/20

GAMEPLAY/CONTROLS
It is basically playing pokemon. There are new mechanics though. Shadow Pokemon are a thing. They are pokemon that can only use Shadow Moves and cannot level up. You can un-shadowfy them (or purify them) and they level up and go back to normal pokemon. It's Ok i guess. You can only purify them when their Heart Meter is full. You can fill it by running, using it in battles, and using special items on it. It takes a long time to do this and it gets repetitive and boring after a while so..it is bleh. Now, you cant catch wild pokemon so how the fuck do you get pokemon? You steal them of course. You can steal Pokemon from other trainers but only if they are shadow pokemon. This isnt a normal pokemon game. There arent any gyms or rivals Due to this, it gets REALLY boring REALLY fast. Every battle being a double battle gets really annoying as well. As for controls, it gets a little awkward controling a character in a pokemon game with an analog stick but other than that it works fine.
Gameplay - 10/20
Controls - 15/20

MUSIC
It is Pokemon. Of course it is pretty damn good.
13/20

GRAPHICS
They look gud for N64 standards
12/20

OVERALL Colloseum
A pretty good game but nothing amazing
65/100

OVERALL XD
Not as good as the first.
60/100

Umbreon
11-27-2013, 08:05 PM
Time for gen 4 because Nintendo apparently hates spin offs!...what?...pokemon ranger?..fine.


STORY
You are a pokemon trainer who quit being a trainer to join the Pokemon Rangers. Pokemon Rangers are basically the police of the pokemon world. They go around and help other trainers and pokemon. It is nothing special. Gets bonus points because i like the villain.
/12/20

GAMEPLAY/CONTROLS
The gameplay is a dungeon crawler type game. You go from dungeon to dungeon solving puzzles and getting farther and farther. Instead of items, you catch pokemon to solve certain puzzles. Fire pokemon can burn down wooden blocks, water types can put out fires, electric can power machines, ect. You catch pokemon by drawing circles around them with your stylus. It's ok but can be a little difficult at times. The controls are your basic stuff. D-Pad to move, A to select and talk.
GAMEPLAY - 15/20
CONTROLS - 13/20

MUSIC
Your average pokemon stuff. Catchy but not THAT catchy.
11/20

GRAPHICS
Uses sprites and looks pretty gud.
15.20

OVERALL
My favorite of the current spinoff series. I just like Ranger a lot. If you want a fun little game, this is for you. But it does get difficult later on.
67/100

Umbreon
11-27-2013, 08:07 PM
Almost done with Pokemon! All thats left is Gen 4, Mystery Dungeon, Pokepark, and Gen 5

Umbreon
11-27-2013, 08:21 PM
Generation 4!...yay...ugh..

POKEDEX VARIETY
HORRIBLE...in Diamond and Pearl..you see, the thing is....Diamond and Pearl and Platinum have 2 different pokedexes i guess i'll judge Platinum's. It is ok. It fixed a lot of Diamond/Pearl's problems. It has decent enough variety.
14/20

POKEMON VARIETY
The designs are pretty good and arguably the best in the series. ALmost all the pokemon are well designed.
17/20

VILLANOUS TEAM
So..Rocket wanted money, Neo Rocket wanted money, Magma wanted to change the world. Galactic..wants to DESTROY THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. That escalated quickly. They seem competant (except that outfit. They look fucking horrible). They seem threatening, and the villain is awesome.
17/20

AFTERGAME
It sucks.

0/10

Fine i'll go into more detail. It's just 3 islands. Not much else. Boring and pointless.
5/10

Before we get to music, i need to bring up something. This game is FUCKING SLOW. The walk speed, the attack animations, the pace, it is just SOOOOOOOO SLOW and i HATE it for that. Its just so boring I dont care if you dont think its fair. Im taking off 10 points because of that slow pace.

MUSIC
Bleh. The battle themes are ok but the town themes suck. The champion theme is one of the best though.
9/20

63/100 - 10 for slow pace
53/100

Umbreon
01-01-2014, 09:04 PM
I wantr to finish this up so...Imma quickly do this


POKEPARK 2



STORY
You are a Pikachu who befriends a Piplup and go exploring. You then come across a paradise called The Dream park. You stay there for a while but soon realize that a secret world called The Wish Park is kidnapping defenseless pokemon by giving them cake (Insert Portal joke here). It's a very basic story with not much to it.
10/20

GAMEPLAY/CONTROLS
You hold the wiimote sideways, use the D-pad to move, 2 to jump, and shake the Wiimote to attack. This control scheme works well enough. Not too much of a problem. As for the gameplay, it's basically walking around and talking to pokemon, them doing the same 2 mini-games over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Thats it. The first minigame is Chase, where you chase a pokemon around and try to hit them. The second is battle, where you attack enemies and over and over and over and over again until they faint. It works ok and the games are decent but...really? only 2? It gets boring after a while. Also, this game is way to fucking easy. There wasn't ONE thing that was too difficult or even difficult. I failed a few times, yeah, but you lose nothing from losing. I can understand a game being easy, nto all games have to be hard but...this is too far.
GAMEPLAY - 10/20
CONTROLS - 15/20

MUSIC
Your average pokemon stuff. Catchy but not THAT catchy.
11/20

GRAPHICS
It's nice and colorful with good models and varied areas. Each area looks different and is pretty good looking.
17.20

OVERALL
It's...ok. if you want an easy game with colorful graphics but low variety, then this is the game for you..
62/100

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games

STORY
Each of the stories to these games seem pretty similar. You are a human who turned into a pokemon and join a rescue team with a friend to save pokemon and help them. It's basic, but effective.
11/20

GAMEPLAY/CONTROLS
You go from dungeon to dungeon attacking pokemon and collecting items while going from floor to floor to get to your objective. The gameplayl, at least to me, seems too repetitive. It's basically the same thing over and over again with inky a different color scheme and a few different pokemon changed, I also hate how you cant evolve your pokemon until you beat the game but thats just a nitpick. it controls fine.
GAMEPLAY - 11/20
CONTROLS - 15/20

MUSIC
Tis ok
10/20

GRAPHICS
Same as Ranger's
15/20

OVERALL
I never got into the Dungeon series but i can see how people can like it. It's just not my taste. If you like dungeon crawlers with an RPG system and dont mind a bit of repetitiveness than you'll like it.
62/100



Gen 5 and 6 coming soon

EDIT: Battle revolution coming soon as well

Umbreon
06-01-2014, 03:50 PM
By soon i meant four months apparently...

Skipping Battle Revolution because i dont wanna review something terrible right now.

Gen 5 bitchez

POKEDEX VARIETY
It gets the job done. There are enough pokemon of ever type for it to work.
16/20

POKEMON VARIETY
Almost every single pokemon design is great and every pokemon except Watchog is pretty gud at least. So.. YES GAGA YES (yay for inside jokes none of you will get :p)
17/20

VILLANOUS TEAM
Best in the series. They are complex by pokemon standards and they are well written. Hell, N is the first character since Silver to get a character arc and i luv it.
19/20

AFTERGAME
Its okay. Its got enough to do to keep you interested.
5/10

MUSIC
Its hit and miss. Some is really good, some is really bad.
13/20

71/100



Gen 6 time

POKEDEX VARIETY
The best. No doubt about it. Its got almost every pokemon in the series so i cant complain.
20/20

POKEMON VARIETY
+10000 because of Goomy. HE IS OUR OGOOLORD..okay fine. The pokemon are well designed mainly because there's so little new pokemon they spent their time on designs and it shows. Gika/10
18/20

VILLANOUS TEAM
After Plasma: This....is disappointing. Imean, there's nothing wrong with them really. They want to destroy humanity...like team Galactic. They want money to do so...like team rocket. They are fire based...like team magma. and you think the villain is good before he's revealed to be bad...like team plasma.
oh.
14/20

AFTERGAME
It is literally almost non existent. You get a battle tower type thing and...thats it.
5/10

MUSIC
Its the bestest :333.
I really like the soundtrack a lot. Got some awesome tunes here.
17/20

74/100

Im gonna try to do 2 of these a week from now on, maybe more idk.

Kubby
06-02-2014, 01:21 PM
You got your rating scale wrong. Since you've reduced the aftergame rating scale from 0-20 to 0-10, now the overall rating should be in 0-90 scale instead of 0-100 one. Also, something got messed up in your maths - Gen4 and Gen5 overall ratings are one grade point off.

So, Gen 4 rating is 62/90 (or 52/90 after point substraction), Gen 5 is 70/90 and Gen 6 is 74/90.

Great reviews though!

Umbreon
06-14-2014, 04:48 AM
Time for a game you've never heard of!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a2/EOE_-_Eve_of_Extinction.jpg/250px-EOE_-_Eve_of_Extinction.jpg

Developer - Yuke's
Publisher - Eidos
Date of Release - Februrary 26th, 2002
System(s) - PS2

Yuke's is a game company that is known for such classics as..WWE Smackdown! Just Bring It, Finding Nemo, and Haunted Mansions....ok everything this company's done is either obscure garbage or famous garbage but whatever. Eidos, i dont even think i need to mention, but they are known for classics as Daikatana, the Deus Ex games, Fear Effect, and Batman Arkham Assylum. So...kinda famous. So, lets see what happens when an obscure and horrible game company works with a famous company.

Story
You're gonna hear one word a lot here: Potential. This story has potential, but they dont do much with it. You play as Josh Calloway, who is as boring as a bag of rocks. He has no character, no cool or unique design, not a cool voice, nothing. He is so fucking bland. Anyways, your girlfriend (Voiced by the same actress who voices Samus for some reason...) has had her soul taken away by an evil company called Wisdom. Wisdom plans to achieve worldwide military control with a certain weapon to outpower any other: "Legacy". Legacy is created by fusing a rare alloy called Orichalcum with a human soul. Basically, it can turn your body into a weapon and make you super powerful. Throughout the game you must face warriors who have fused themselves with weapons. And each one is as boring as the other. Their designs can be interesting or unique sometimes but their personalities are bland and they mostly stay silent. Wisdom isnt that interesting of a villain overall. This story HAS potential if they made the main character more interesting, the girlfriend less annoying, and the bosses more interesting.
9/20

Graphics
This is kinda weird for me. Again, this had potential. The models look pretty nice. The overall design of the levels are pretty nice, and the draw distance is still good even though the game looks good graphically. The problem is the models. They look nice, but there is so little enemy variety and so little animation on them. The areas, though they look nice, are just empty and lifeless. If they added more enemy variety and made the areas a bit more lively, it'd be great.
15/20

Gameplay/Controls
Again, say it with me, Potential. The game is a classic style Beat-Em Up. Which is fine. I like beat em ups. The main gimmick of the game is that you get a ton of different weapons and level them up and get stronger and stronger. And, you can find special power chips called Le-Seed that give your weapons special elemental powers. Sounds great, right? Eh.......NOP. There are a few problems with this. First off, while the weapons are designed interestingly, a lot of them are either useless or they are really similar to another weapon. Second, you only have 2 attacks (excluding special attacks) so the fighting becomes more boring and repetitve than other Beat Em Ups. The fun thing about Beat Em Ups is the combos mostly. How you can press buttons in different orders and see the cool combos, but if you only have 2 buttons for attacks, then that kind of ruins it. Thirdly, when you get a weapon, it starts at level 1. Always. And at first, its fine. But as you get late in the game and get weapons at level 1, they just cant kill enemies well enough at that level to be worth using. If the weapons were more diverse, You had more attacks, and the weapons started at higher levels as the game went on, it'd be fine. The game controls okay, except for one thing. When you press Triangle, you do a special jump with each weapon (The Lightningrod makes you jump higher, the flame sword makes you do a backflip ect.) But to grab on to ledges, you need to be in Melee mode which means you dont have a weapon. To change weapons, you press L1 and R1, but they're reversed. L1 goes right and R1 goes left. So soemtimes they make you do a high jump with a ligthningrod and then change weapons in mid-air, and press the X button to grab on a ledge. That is fucking annoying and takes getting used to. But, other than that, it controls fine.
Gameplay - 10/20
Controls - 16/20

Music
Generic techno and rock music mostly. It works fine and fits with the style of the game. Nothing too great but it fits with the style.
11/20

Overall
This game had a LOT of potential. They had great ideas, but the execution was poor. If the weapons were more diverse, the story was better written, the bosses were better, and you had more attacks, then this would be a game i HIGHLY recommend. As is though, i recommend trying it only if you are curious or find it in a bargain bin or online for really cheap. it's at least worth a try.
60/100

Umbreon
06-15-2014, 10:04 PM
So it looks like a tie between 3 of the games 3: if somebody doesnt vote for something by tomorrow i will push it back until one is winning :3

Umbreon
06-16-2014, 02:41 AM
The Tiger Takes the Gold!

Vote for my next review here!: http://strawpoll.me/1922445

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/Ty_the_Tasmanian_Tiger_Coverart.jpg

Developed By: Krome Studios
Published By: EA Games
Systems - PS2, XBox, Gamecube,
Release Date - September, 10th, 2002



CRIKEY MATE!....okay i woint make Australian stereotypes in this....that much anyways. During the early to mid PS2 era, the biggest genre and one of the most popular ones were 3D platformers. After the success of Mario Sunshine and the Spyro games, everyone wanted to do a 3D platformers. (I still wish everyone did 3D platformers all the time but whatever). After the success of Banjo-Kazooie and Banjjo-Tooie, Krome Studios decided to make a game with similar gameplay but was different too. What we got is an interesting but annoying platformer. Lets go down under and see if Ty holds up today (SPOILERS: Kinda)



Story
In australia, (For some reason...) a flock of birds and tigers are at war with each other. The birds (Who have giant mechs for some reason...) and the tigeres (who use boomerangs for some reason....) are fighting each other over magical talismans that hold unimaginable power. The birds create a machine that can suck up all the orbs but just before it does so, the tigers blow up the machines and cause the talismans to floy around the world and land all over Australia (Thank god they didnt go anywhere far. YAY Plot Conviniences). Years later (Its never explained how many) a tiger and a platypus are playing tag (For some reason...) and the tiger falls in a large hole that he obviously should have seen and for some reaosn NOBODY noticed a GIANT hole in the ground. Anyways, he finds a ghost that tells him to find the talisman and the bird army is back. Problem is that a bunch of animals ate them and have abosrbed their elemental abilities. So its up to you to go around Australia and get to the talismans. Not that great of a story,is almost never brought up outside of the opening cutscene, and is all around meh. But thats okay, its supposed to not be great. 3D platformers rarely have good stories so ill let it slide this time.
12/20

Graphics
Because its set in Australia, The game has a certain desert look to it. The game ranges from looking really beautiful to being kind of bland and empty. One thing that bugs me about this game is lack on diversity. There are 12 levels in the game and every theme gets used twice (2 ice levels that look similar, 2 fire levels ect.) and it just gets boring playing what seems like the same level twice. The game looks good, its just lacking diversity in environments.
12/20

Gameplay/Controls
If you have played Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie, the gameplay is almost the same. Big open level with a ton of collectibles and enemies and stuff. So its a collectathon and that it means it has the problem all collectathons have. When you are missing ONE colelctible, dont know where it is, and spend hours looking for it. Most of the play time in this fucking game is you looking for an opal (basiclly coins) for 2 hours, not being able to find it,. and getting pissed off. Thats not really the game's fault, its more of the genre's fault. Its like getting pissed at a fighting game because theres a move that can be spammed and be annoying. All games of this genre have this problem and always will. Its kind of nice exploring these big open levels but after you spend hours in them they get annoying because you're checking the same places over and over. Thats where im kinda stuck. On one hand, the game is fucking annoying with constant searching and backtracking and looking in places over and over. On the other, thats not really the game's fault. So i honestly have no clue how to score this. Then i realised that the gameplay can be annoying but its never Break your controller annoying and its not thee games fault. The game controls just fine, like every other 3D platformer (X to jump, Square for attack ect)
Gameplay - 13/20
Controls - 15/20

Music
The game takes place in Australia so they take advantage of it and use great wind instruments and Austlian-type instruments. It feels like ye in Australia and its prett good. The down side is that it uses the same instruments for a lot of the levels and sometimes the music is meh.
15/20

Overall
Eh......im indifferent honestly. Its fu but annoying. its good looking at times but bad at others, the music is great in some places but meh in others. If you like Banjo-Kazooie type gameplay, you'll like this game fine. But if you arent into that genre, this game wont make you love the genre.
67/100

Umbreon
06-18-2014, 03:31 AM
http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090616033426/fairlyoddparents/en/images/thumb/d/d4/Breakindarules.jpg/200px-Breakindarules.jpg

Developed By: Blitz Games
Published By: THQ
Systems - PS2, XBoix, Gamecube, Gameboy Advance
Release Date - November 3rd, 2003

Story time. A while back i picked up a game called Spongebob Squarepants Battle For Bikini Bottom because i saw it cheap at a garage sale. I played it and...y'know what? Its actually good. Its not a masterpiece or anything, but it has good graphics, cartoony visuals, decent music, nice level design, and fun bosses. It could have been a LOT worse. Then, about 2 weeks ago i saw a game called Farily Odd Parents Breakin Da Rulez and thought "Hey, i should get this. Maybe its decent like the Spongebob game" I WAS WRONG. I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING FUCKING WRONG. THIS IS SONIC 06 BAD..okay...maybe not THAT bad...BUT IT IS STILL FUCKING HORRIBLE. This is one of the WORST games i have ever played. Im not gonna lie, this is gonna hurt. Its really gonna hurt. So lets see why this.....thing...is one of the worst....things ever........ugh

Story
It follows the cartoons well. The characters are right and the plot does seem like something that would be an episode at the time. Timmy wishes he didnt have to follow Da Rulez (I FUCKING hate that name BTW) and the Rule book is destroyed. Because of this, fairie cant grant wishes anyymore and its up to you to collect stars and save the day. Its fine. It fits with the theme of thew show so it works.
12/20

Graphics
THEY DONT BLINK AND ITS FUCKING CREEPY. Now that we have that out of the way, they suck. They went for a weird cartoony look and it doesnt fucking work. The characters have no animations, the levels seem bland and empty most of the time, the lip movements is fucking terrible, the characters look dead the entire time, and it just isnt visually appleasing in the slightest. Its ugly, its empty, its lifeless, and its unappealing. I dont even fucking get it. It has no reason to look this fucking bad.
8/20

Gameplay/Controls
THIS IS FUKCING HORRIBLE. You move so fucking slow and the controls are really fucking stiff. Its hard to control at times and its just not fun. It's fucking horrible. I can barely play this for 10 minutes without giving it a break because im too fucking pissed off at how bad it controls. Controlling Timmy in the air is fucking impossible so its hard to land jumps right. That'd be OKAY if this was a Beat 'Em Up or an action game but NO. THIS IS A 3D PLATFORMER. The FIRST thing you should do when making one is GET THE PLATFORMING AND CONTROLS RIGHT. And they dont. They are FAR from right. They are as far from right as you can fucking get. Its nearly unplaayable for me. Now, on to the gameplay. You go around big levels getting from point A to point B while collecting stars. Okay, first off. If the levels are open like thois one, GIVE US A REASON TO EXPLORE. Most games like this make you WANT to look around and find cool little things, but the only thing you can really find thats hidden is lives and since Game Overs do NOTHING they dont fucking matter. Because of this, and the levels being empty with little enemies, you have no reason to explore so making this a semi-open world level based game DOESNT WORK. And the stars are fucking bad. They're REALLY bad. Its not like mario or banjo-kazooie or anything where the stars are objects. These are living things that you have to chase. With THESE controls thats fucking impossible! Playing this game is fucking horrible
Gameplay - 5/20
Controls - 4/20

Music
Alright this fucking sucks too. The music itself is pretty bad but it gets drowned out by Cosmo and Wanda talking and seems worse. That'd be fine IF THEY FUCKING RECORDED MORE THAN TWO CLIPS. EVERY time you do ANYTHING they will commentate over it. If you fall you hear a voice clip. Its a little funny sometimes but after you hear it 40 fucking times in the same fuckign level you get sick of it and put the tv on mute because you want to pull your hair out. Like i said, the music is bad but the voice acting makes it terrible
6/20

Overall
Think about all the bad games you have played and try to think of something good about them. You will probably be able to think of ONE thing that was good about it. Anything. For Superman 64, its still an enjoyable game becauuse of the glitches. For Spyro 4, the levels are decently designed and the game looks okay, Hell, even SONIC 06 had a LITTLE enjoyaility. This? This is PURE FUCKING PAIN ALL THE WAY THROUGH. From beginning to end you just keep praying that it stops. Every fucking bullshit thing makes you want to turn it off and stop playing. And i fucking reccomend you stop playing before you even press the Start Button.
34/100

No voting this time because themed week next week and theres like 2 or 3 games i wanna cover before then. Current plan is on Friday i rview God of War, Saturday i do a quick review of a random Tony Hawk Game, then Sunday i will start a themed week where i do 7 games and you guys will vote on which theme.

Umbreon
06-20-2014, 05:30 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0c/Gowbox.jpg/256px-Gowbox.jpg
Developed By - SCE Santa Monica Studio
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America (USA), Capcom (Japan)
Systems - PS2
Release Date - March 22, 2005

WAR! WAR NEVER CHANGES!...sorry, had to. anyways, God of War! A game i never thought i'd play because it didnt seem like something that'd interest me. But, after trying it because i always give games a chance, i found a pretty damn good looking and enjoyable game. Devekioed by Santa Monica Studios and Published by Sony Computer Entertainment of America in 2005, God of War is a bloody, gorey, and fun beat em up with RPG elements. So...think E.O.E but done a million times better.

STORY
Kratos is a warrior who serves the Greek gods of Olympus. The god of War, Ares, is jealous of Athena and tries to destroy all of Athens. Kratos has been serving the gods for ten years. After killing the Hydra on behalf of Poseidon, he grows tired of his service and suffering. He summons Athena, who states that if Kratos performs one final act—the murder of Ares—he will be forgiven for killing his family. So you have to go through dungeon after dungeon and temple after temple to get the weapons of the gods and destroy Ares. Its kind of unique to have Ares the villain in a greek mythology based game and not Hades so it gets points for that. The fact that you arent playing as a hero is kind of unique for the time. and the story is well told.
16/20

GRAPHICS
This is a GREAT looking PS2 game, the graphics are very nice, the models have good animation, the world is detailed, the blood effects look great, and the cutscenes are gorgous. One of the best looking PS2 games.
19/20

GAMEPLAY & CONTROLS
The game is a combo based Beat Em up RPG and i love it. This is how E.O.E should have played. The gameplay is fast paced, the weapons are different enough to make you want to change it up every once and a while, you have multiple attacks and can pull off great combos, the platforming sections are done a million times better, and the bosses are ACTUALLY fun and challenging. The difficulty is just right, its not too easy and its not too hard either. The controls respond well and are layed out greatly. Its amazing.
Gameplay - 18/20
Controls - 17/20

MUSIC
Its orchestrated music and its fucking beautiful. It fits with the mood and tone of the game perfectly. The gamee came with a free downloadable soudndtrack and i can see why. Its fucking amazing. Its not the best music ever or anything, but is beautiful and fits the game.
19/20

OVERALL
THIS is what EOE should have been. A fun, beautiful, combo based, addicting, great looking game. This is one of my favorite games of all time. I havent tried God of War II yet, but this makes me really want to. If you want an amazingly witten story or diverse gameplay, you wont find it here. But if you're looking for a good looking, well designed, and fun beta 'em up, i highly reccomend it.
89/100

Next up is a random Tony Hawk game

Umbreon
06-22-2014, 12:12 AM
review postponed to tomorrow because i did a battle today 3:

Umbreon
06-22-2014, 09:30 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/58/TonyHawksProSkaterPlayStation1.jpg/256px-TonyHawksProSkaterPlayStation1.jpg

Developed By - Neversoft & The Edge of Reality Games
Published By - Activision
Systems - PS1, N64, Dreamcaseost, N-Gage, GB, GBC
Release Date - Februrary 29th, 2000

I HATE SPORTS. I'm not good at them, find them boring, and just meh. I also hate sports video games. I dont see a fucking point in playing a Football video game when you can just do it irl with friends instead. There are 2 exceptions to this: Racing and Skateboarding. Well...racing games like Mario Kart and Diddy Kong Racing because they have power ups to make it interesting. Stuff like Grand Turismo suck. Anyways, Skateboarding. The one sport i can stand :D Now a bit of History. Neversoft was going to make a game for the PS1 that involved Mechs and shooting and stuff. However, the game was cancled when Activision bought the rights to Neversoft. They were told to make 2 games: One was a third person shooter, and the other was a skateboarding demo for the PS1 to show off speed. Neversoft's skateboarding game demo was so popular at E3s and other conventions, Activision told them to make it a full game. Then, 1 year after release, an N64 port fucks it all up. This is that version.

Story
There is none so..............sklip dis category

Graphics
They look good by N64 standards, the models are fine and the textures are okay. Looked better in the PS1 version but this still looks good. Only problem is the frame rate is blehhhh. It can be slowed down at times which isnt a good thing for a fast paced game. The PS1 version didnt have this problem but meh.
15/25

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is an arcade style point game. There are four gameplay modes.First is Free Skate which is something you never play really. All it is is it lets you skate with no time limits and no restrictions. Thenm there's single session, where you skate around for 2 minutes and try to get a high score. Then, there is multiplayer. Where you can play minigames and skate around and stuff trying to be the best liek no one ever was. The final mode is Carreer where you go through stages and complete missions to unlock new boards, levels, and characters. The gameplay has enough to keepp you busy and it is addicting to beat your own high scores and stuff. The overall gameplay is what you think it is. Doing tricks and getting a score that adds up and stuff. Its a really fun time and its a really enjoyable game. But, the controls RUIN it for the N64 version. Using the C-Button for tricks is just awkward and takes a long time to get used to.
Gameplay - 18/25
Controls - 14/25

Music
Amazing. It uses the perfect blend of Rock, Punk, and Hip Hop to make it feel like a skateboarding game. The music IS outdated and a lot of it is from bands that arent around anymore but it is a great soundtrack. The N64 version did cut out 7 songs, but its still a great soundtrack
20/25

Overall
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater suffers from what i call First Game Syndrome. There is nothing really WRONG with it, its just the later games are SOOOOOOOOO much better. I reccomend the later games more than this one, but its still a fun experience. It's like, totally bodacious and radical, dude
67/100

Dr. Stein
06-23-2014, 01:35 AM
Could you review Jak & Daxter? Or are you not taking requests?

Umbreon
06-23-2014, 02:59 AM
Could you review Jak & Daxter? Or are you not taking requests?

I do indeed take requests and i promise i will review Jak and Daxter as soon as possible :3

Dr. Stein
06-23-2014, 11:58 AM
Ok, cool! :)

Umbreon
06-24-2014, 03:54 AM
Sonic and Megaman X are tied so the week will start when they arent tied

Umbreon
06-30-2014, 02:49 AM
Guys depression's been fucking with me way too much so im gonna cancel the review week. A review of Jak and Daxter will be out tomorrow (er...today because its passed Midnight but whatevz) and then im on a break.

Umbreon
07-01-2014, 11:16 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b6/Jak_and_Daxter_-_The_Precursor_Legacy_Coverart.png
Developed By - Naughty Dog
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
System(s) - PS2, PS3 (HD Re-release), PSP Vita
Release Date - December 3rd, 2001

A bit of history time! YAY! c: Naughty Dog was an obscure company in the early 90's making weird PC games and obscure SNES and Genesis games. Then, when the Playstation came out, Sony needed a mascot and asked Naughty Dog to make one after seeing a demo of one of their games. Naughty Dog signed a contract with Sony and Universal Studios to make 3 games using that character and Crash Bandicoot was created. They made 4 Crash Games: Crash 1,2,3 and Crash Team Racing. Then, in 2001, Naughty Dog had a disagreement with Universal and left. Because of this, they lost the rights to crash. Devistated theat they lost the rights to the game series that made them famous, they created a new platformer. One thats different from Crash and used a more open world style of gameplay as opposed to a linear style like Crash. That game was Jak and Daxter. Now, lets see if Naughty Dog should have gave up after Crash.

Story
Jak and Daxter are two human...er...elves...er....i have no idea what the fuck they are. But eh...its not important. They go enar a dark and misty island to explore when they come across a pool of Black and purple liquid. Daxter falls in and is turned into a...ottsel? uh..ok. They return home and ask an elder of a village how to turn Daxter back into a human elf thingy. The sage tells them that only the power of all 4 sages can turn him back and none of them are answering communication so you have to go around the world collecting Precursor Orbs (Coins, basically) and Power Cell (Power Stars, Basically) and you learn that someone has kidnapped all the sages and you have to save them. Its decently written and has funny dialogue but it isnt complex. But its not trying to be, so its good. Nothing amazing, mind you, but good none the less.
12/20

Graphics
The game looks quite nice. its colorful, bright, pretty, and creativly designed. The models look nice for early PS2, its all around a nice looking game.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is similar to Banjo-Kazzoie's and Ty's. You're in a big open world and have to find everythingg. Its a collectathon :3 And idk why but something about this game seems a bit funner than Ty. I cant tell what it is really but something just made it so i had a lot more fun playing this than Ty. I guess its because things arent hidden as well as in Ty and you dont spend a lot of time looking for one orb for like 2 hours and get angry. It still hides stuff but its easier to find things here than in Ty. The controls are basic stuff. X to jump, Square to attack, ect. So they work fine. The levels are designed really well and make you want to explore to see the entirety of the level so thats another plus.
Gameplay - 15/20
Controls - 16/20

Music
Its decent. Nothing overly amazing but its still good. Nothing's really that catchy or anything.
12/20

Overall
Its really good. If you like Banjo-Kazooie type collectathons than this might be a bit too easy for you because stuff isnt cleverly hidden most of the time, but its still a fun expirience. If you are new to Collectathons, i reccomend doing this game as your first since its simple and easy.
72/100




Like i said, Depression has been destroying my energy to do anything so the reviews are on a Hiatus for a while. idk when ill do more but i will hopefully do more soon. In the mean time, vote for the next review here: http://strawpoll.me/2026010

Umbreon
07-04-2014, 07:32 PM
http://www.mariowiki.com/images/thumb/0/06/Dk64.jpg/250px-Dk64.jpg

Okay, you know those games that you hate but everyone else seems to love for some reason? This is one of mine. Before, I start this im gonna say something. I love Rare. They made some of my favorite games of all time: the Donkey Kong Country games, Diddy Kong Racing, Goldeneye, Star Fox, ect. However, every company has fuck ups, and this is one of Rare's. I know im gonna get hate for this but this game SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS


Story
King K.Rool is taking over DK island and wants to destroy it with a Blast-O-Matic and he knows DK will stop him so he kindaps....every Kong EXCEPT Dk....not sure why but...k. And you have to stop him and free the others. Nothing that great but its a basic DK story so its fine. Story isnt that important anyways.
12/20

Graphics
Models? They're Ok. Textures? They're fine. Draw Distance? OH MY GOD ITS THE WORST FUCKING THING.The objects pop up when you're like 3 steps away from it and it ruins everything. There are times where you need to shoot a switch from a platform but the platform is so far away from the switch that you cant see the damn switch you are supposed to hit! IT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. SUPERMAN 64 HAD BETTER DRAW DISTANCE PEOPLE, SUPERMAN 64!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW YOU FUCKED UP WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
10/20

Gameplay/Controls
Reason this game sucks #2: THE GAMEPLAY. Okay, the gameplay is a Banjo-Kazooie type thing with huge open levels and a bunch of collectables. And thats fine. But the problem is there are 5 characters, And each one has their own collectables and abilities so you constantly need to switch characters and you need to go to one set location to switch. There are times where you need to hit a switch with Diddy, walk back, switch to DK, walk there, Blow up a wall, walk back, switch to Tiny, walk there, and turn small JUST TO COLLECT ONE COIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING AND REPETETIVE THAT SHIT IS? ITS SO FUCKING HORRIBLE UGH. The controls are annoying too. If you have played ANY shooter on N64, Z is ALMOST ALWAYS THE SHOOT BUTTON. Here? its B and that doesnt feel right and takes a while of getting used to, the characters are slow as fuck and dont have a run button, the jumping is awkward, and its just ughhhhhh.
Gameplay - 8/20
Controls - 9/20

Music
Rare Always has good music right? Wrong. This game's music are...meh. Not great but not the worst thing ever.
10/20

Overall
Its below average. Like I HATE THIS GAME SO FUCKING MUCH WITH A BURNING PASSION HOTTER THAN A THOUSAND SUNS......but i can see why others like it. Its a long game, it has fun mini games sometimes, and bosses can be fun. its just too repetitive for me.
49/100

Im back but reviews are gonna be more spaced out.

Umbreon
07-30-2014, 07:01 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/96/Super_Monkey_Ball_Coverart.png

Developed By - Amusement Vision
Published By - Sega
Systems - Gamecube, N-Gage, Arcades
Release Date - September 14th, 2001



So this is a game where you play as a monkey in a hamster ball collecting bananas on floating paltforms and dodging tings such as spikes, bouncers, ect....trust me this isnt as stupid as it sounds...okay it is....but is it fun? Lets get rolling (Sorry for the pun :c) and find out!


Story
There isnt one! So yea........

Graphics
For a gamecube launch title, it looks great. The textures are nice, its nice and colorful, and it looks interesting. Nothing bad at all. It seems a bit dated now days but it isnt horrible.
18/25

Gameplay/Controls
Okay, first off the controls are just the analog stick so...not much to say. I dont even know how to rate it. Its slippery, but thats on purpose, theres no lag or anything, and it responds well.The gameplay is fun. Really fun. Your basic goal is to roll a monkey through an obstacle course to get to a goal at the end of the level. The challenges are actually fun and the gameplay can be addicting. In the one player mode, you can choose from 3 different difficulties, each with their own number of courses and each with different courses. At the end of the game you rank up a score called Play Points that let you buy mini games, but we'll get to that later. The gameplay has enough challenge to make you want to not give up but isnt impossibly hard or anything. You get 3 lives to start out with and can get morer by collecting bananas that are scattered across the course. Getting the bananas can be difficult due to the time limit, but collect as many as you can. There are 90 courses in the game and they all have unique tropes/designs to make most feel different. But, you dont play Monkey Ball for single player (Okay...i do because i have no friends but still) You play it for multiplayer. In multiplayer you can take turns at courses to see who can get the farthest, or you can play mini games like bowling, pool, and skydiving on a target. They're all a good time due to challenge. Its a fun expirience. Not amazing, but fun enough.
Controls - 20/25
Gameplay - 18/25

Music
Catchy enough but nothing too memorable. Still okay, though
15/25

Overall
Yay i reviewed a good game! Its fun enough, not the best party game ever and it can be frustrating at times, but still good.
71/100

Umbreon
08-01-2014, 04:08 PM
vote http://strawpoll.me/2243777

Voting ends in 8 hours.

Spars
08-01-2014, 04:20 PM
Finally reviewed a game I have lol. Super Monkey Ball was pretty decent as I remember it.

Umbreon
08-01-2014, 11:33 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/36/Ultimate_alliance.PNG/256px-Ultimate_alliance.PNG
Publisher - Activision
Developed by - Vicarious Visions
Release Date - October 26th, 2006
Consoles - XBox 360, PS2, Wii, PC, Gameboy Advance, PSP, XBox, PS3

Ahhhh, Marvel. I like you more than DC, honestly. Sure, DC has my favorite super hero of all time, Batman, but Marvel has some of the greats: Wolverine, Spiderman, Iron Man, Deadpool, ect. When it comes to video games, Marvel seems to do a lot better than DC. At least in the late 90's-Early 2000's. Marvel had some great games at the time, The X Men games, the Spiderman games, ect. While DC had....Superman 64...Superman Battle for Metropolis...and Aquaman Battle For Atlantis..so yeah.....shitty games. Anyways, in 2006 Marvel released Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Does it hold up? Lets see.

Story
Doctor Doom has recruited the world's most deadly villains in the marvel universe and they have a sinister plan. So Marvel heroes team up to stop them. Basic plot. A little too basic. Idunno. Its just a bit too basic for my tastes. Yea, i let it slide with mario and sonic and tuff because they werent meant or expected to have good story. With Marvel, i expected a bit more.
But hey, Story isnt important to games, hopefully the gameplay holds up.
10/20

Graphics
The game looks great. For PS2 standards, it looks wonderful. The models look nice and the levels are varried in themes. it looks nice. However, Sometimes the environments get in the way, like you're swinging aroudn like spiderman and sometimes pillars get in your way without you noticing.
18/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is action RPG style Beat-Em-Up and it works well. You can choose a team fo any 4 Marvel heroes in the game and theres enough to choose from to make it interesting. Due to this, multiple playthroughs is a good idea to test out different combos and movesets. the RPG elements are what make this game for me. There are a lot of moves and abilities to upgrade and modify and its just a great expirience playing. The game has 4 player co-op and its a blast. Along the way you collect coins and you can by body upgrades like giving Iron Man more defense or making spiderman swing faster. Its a nice insentive to collect as much coins as you can. The controls are nice too. Unlike E.O.E they took advantage of the controller and made each character have a shit ton of button combos and stuff to make the gameplay seem interesting. The bosses are great too. The game overall isnt that hard but isnt that easy so it has a reasonable challenge to it.
Gameplay - 18/20
Controls - 17/20

Music
Great stuff. Remixes of different character's themes that works well. Can be repeptitive at some points though
14/20

Overall
This is a great game. It has decent challenge, great gameplay, good controls, it looks nice, its just great. I reccomend it to any Action RPG, Beat-Em-Up, or Marvel fan.
77/100

Spars
08-01-2014, 11:43 PM
I had it on Wii but I didn't really like it much at all. Never even finished it.

GonadTheNomad
08-01-2014, 11:48 PM
I had it on Wii but I didn't really like it much at all. Never even finished it.

My disc got scrathed. ;n;

Umbreon
08-04-2014, 12:10 AM
Im taking a small break so as a last reviw for a bit...i chose some of the games i hate the most! vote!

http://strawpoll.me/2260761

Umbreon
08-04-2014, 06:49 PM
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100522140247/sonic/images/6/67/Shadow_the_g_Coverart.png
Published By - Sega
Developed By - Sonc Team
Release Date - December 15th, 2005
Consoles - XBox, Gamecube, PS2


OH GOD...OH GOD...ugh.....THIS SUCKS. No...thats an insult to things that suck. You thought Sonic 06 was the worst sonic game?!...it is.....but this is close. VERY CLOSE. Ugh....history time or whatever. Sega realized that Sonic wasnt doing that well in america so they decided to make a game that they thought americans would like...with guns and aliens and lots of "DAMNS" and "HELLS" and its FUCKING HORRIBLE JGHGIJHGJBGIKWGBHJG..okay..lets just get this over with......

Story
Okay...so...after Sonic Heroes and Adventure 2 (Neither of which i reviewed yet...) Shadow is left without his memories. He's in a park...for some reason...when aliens take over. Literally out of NOWHERE with no build up. The alien leader, Blakc Doom, (Who is voiced by Goku's voice actor for some reason....) tells him that he knows who shadow is and if he wants answers he needs to collect chaos emeralds, Shadow believes him...for some reason...and starts collecting them. He then runs into sonic and this is where tings get interesting. ..well....not interesting...more like...uh.....COMPLETE HORRIDNESS...but we'll get to that later. In this game you can choose a pth to take by doing missions so the story can go in literally about 256 ways because of all the different combinations you can do. im not gonna explain all of them so im just gonna point out plot flaws. First off, the characters sayign DAMN and HELL every 3 fucking seconds isnt Dark or Edgy its fucking annoying and out of character. EVERY TIME YOU DIE... "DAMN! not here..." EVERY FUCKING TIME. Second, Shadow knows Sonic knows of his past....WHY DOSNT HE ASK SONIC? OR ROUGE? OR TAILS? OR ANYONE!? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE...ugh.....third, the government wants to kill shadow....whyyyyy?....they say its because of the Ark thing that happened 50 myears ago but shadow has nothing to do with that it makes no fucking sense...Fourth, this game has a last story you get by beating Hero, Dark, and Normal endings. WHICH MAKES EVERY ENDING YOU GET NON CANON. So its a pick your adventure/path type game with a moral system that makes the endings you get non canon. WHATS THE POINT OF THE MORAL SYSTEM THEN?! ugh......this fucking sucks. All of the endings are pointless so you working hard to see the endings isnt satisfying...bleh...the writing's okay at times i guess. Id also like to point out that this won FAMILY GAME OF THE YEAR IN 2006!...that baffles me...
8/20


Graphics
In a game thats supposed to be Dark and Edgy...why the FUCK did they use the shiny models from heroes? BECAUS FUCKING LAZINESS. This game looks pretty damn bad. Its not horrid, but the models dont fit with the level dsign or tone at all, the environments are bland, and its just not good to look at. Heroes had the same models but that was more cartoony and bright so it fit. this....doesnt.
9/20

Gameplay/Controls
Sonic with guns is how to describe the gameplay. except its worse than that MUCH WORSE. Okay..so each level has 3 missions, a hero one, a neutral one, and a evil one. Neutral is usually get to the end of the level but hero and evil are usually Kill X number of enemies. The problem is there arent more enmies than required. Like, if it asks you to kill 30 aleins there are EXACTLY 30 aliens in that level which makes you have to backtrack or slow down IN A SONIC GAME. Another thing is there are 2 meters at the top of the screen: A blue hero meter and a red evil meter. Kill the right enemies and one will fill up and one will empty. So if you kill aliens, the hero meter will go up and if you kill cops, the evil meter will go up. When they are filled you can do special powers. Thats cool, but then you realize that there are certain parts where you HAVE TO KILL CERTAIN ENEMIES TO MOVE ON. Like, kill 3 aliens to open a door but if you're doing the evil mission your meter will go down because you moved on with the level! No matter if you are good or evil, EVERYONE will attack you. And if you fight back, you get scolded, You kill an alien that just shot you while doing an evil misson? "WHAT ARE YOU DOIGN SHADOW?! DONT KILL MY ARMY!" WELL IF YOUR FUCKING ARMY WASNT TRYING TO KILL ME I WOULDNT FIGHT BACK!!!!! ugh....Like i said earlier, ..there are multiple endings but you never want to play long enough to get all them because they arent canon anyways! In one playthrough you need to complete 5 levels. Then, when you're done, do the same 5 levels but change the last one to another level its just shit. Its repetetive and boring and you dont want to play again 5 minutes after starting. There are vehicles like motrocycles and cars but they dont do anything. You go faster by running basically.Oh...the controls are shit too. Shadow feels so slippery and aiming with the guns is impossible and it just feels bad. ITS SHIT
Gameplay - 9/20
Controls - 10/20

Music
Guess what? THE MUSIC IS SHIT TOO!...okay i take that back All Hail Shadow and I Am All of Me are fuckign amazing but everything else sucks! Its generic emo and goth heavy metal type sit and it just sounds bad.
10/20

Overall
IT SUCKS. Its boring its hard its annoying its badly written most of the time, the endings are pointless AND I HATE IT.
46/100

Umbreon
08-06-2014, 01:47 AM
After that...train wrreck of a game...i want to do something i like. My next review will eithe rbe the 8th, 9th, or 10th (Havent decided yet) and i selected 5 random games, 4 i like, 1 i hate. I wont say which one i hate but yea..VOTE!

http://strawpoll.me/2276547

Umbreon
08-09-2014, 01:00 AM
Next review shall be posted the day the poll is no longer a tie :p

Spars
08-09-2014, 01:13 AM
I shall untie it.

Umbreon
08-09-2014, 01:43 AM
okie so Sonic Colors should be released soon :3

EDIT: By soon i mean tomorrow morning because too tired to review :p

Umbreon
08-13-2014, 05:38 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/45/Sonic_Colors_box_artwork.png
Published By - Sega
Developed By - Sonic Team
Release Date - November 16, 2010
Platforms - Wii, DS


Last week we looked at how a sonic game can fail HORRIBLY. This week, lets see when they succeed. And next week ill look at a 'meh' sonic game i guess to get a feel for all 3 kinds (dont worry, there'll still be reviews in between this and that) so...lets see how sonic can..not suck i guess, this is Sonic Colors.

Story
Sonic and Tails notice an amusement park in the sky made by Eggman and go check it out. While there they come across an Alien race named Wisps. The Wisps tell them that their race is being over run by a man named Baldy McNosehairs (i love that name btw) and Sonic realizes its eggman and tries to stop him. Wait...its a Sonic plot...its made after Adventure 2.....and it ISNT needlessly complicated? Thats rare :p the plot works. its simple, but Eggman is still a threat. If you really think about it, what he wants to do is fucked up. The plot has clever jokes and writing, and is overal pretty good.
17/20

Graphics
This proves that 99.99999% of third parties on Wii dont even try, this game looks great. Its bright and colorful, it looks great, its a great looking game.
18/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is your standard 'Boost Era Sonic' Fare, go left to right, jump, dodge, homing attack, boost, ect. The game also adds a double jump and it doesnt seem much at first but it saves your ass in a lot of cases, so its a welcome feature. Something new in this game are Wisps. They give sonic an ability and what makes them great is they are NOT situational. They are actually useful and they split the level into different paths. Dont want to do that platforming section? Use the Drill Wisp to take the lower path. Dont feel like going down that hill and dealing with enemies? Use Laser wisp and skipp it to a higher platform. They are also a welcome addition. The game adds enough new moves and features to make it fun. The game can be controlled with a wiimote, nunchuck, or gamecube controller and they all work fine. Nice and smooth.
Gameplay - 17/20
Controls - 17/20

Music
Beautiful. Absolutely gorgous. Reach For The Stars, Tropical Resort, Starlight Carnival, oh god yes. The music is really well done and is one of the best game soundtracks ever IMO. It has 1 or 2 bad tracks but is overall fantastic.
19/20

Overall
SONIC. DONE. RIGHT. You dont need millions of playable characters. You dont need 20+ minute levels. You dont need a big or deep plot. You just need gameplay. Thats all that matters. If the graphics are shit, the music is shit, and the story is shit but the gameplay is fun, its still good in my eyes. This game didnt need these things Sonic Team keeps putting in Sonic games. The game is short, yea but its fun as hell to blast through. One of my favorite games ever.
88/100


....wat...

what do you mean im skipping the DS version? Ugh.......fine. Lets do a quick review of the DS version i guess.

Story
Pretty much the same as the Wii version but not as funny and doesnt have as good writing.
14/20

Graphics
Ugly. its nott he worst, but it is pretty ugly. Its not because its a DS game, its just....ugly and unappealing. Not an insult to the eyes or anything.
10/20

Gameplay
The gameplay is like Sonic Rush and that isnt necisarilly a good thing..or a bad thing..its a meh thing. Its fun enough i guess but its just...it has bad level design and it just isnt that fun. Rush had better level design and seemed more fun. The wisps arent used as much and its just a bleh game. The game doesnt control that great either. It feels wonky.
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 11/20

Music
Its bleh, the DS had kind of a shit sound card/speakers so a lot of DS music is bleh...and this is no exception.
10/20

Overall
Meh...play Sonic Rush. Its better.
57/100

rangernumberx
08-13-2014, 07:11 AM
You did the DS game just so you don't have to do a meh Sonic game next week, didn't you?

Umbreon
08-13-2014, 07:12 AM
You did the DS game just so you don't have to do a meh Sonic game next week, didn't you?

nop. The meh sonic game is Sonic Heroes and im still gonna do it :3

rangernumberx
08-13-2014, 07:23 AM
On which console?

Umbreon
08-13-2014, 03:01 PM
On which console?

Mostly the gamecube version but i will note of the terror that is the PS2 and Xbox versions

Turtlesauce
08-13-2014, 03:12 PM
What PS2 games do you consider reviewing? I'm a huge PS2 fan

Umbreon
08-13-2014, 03:29 PM
What PS2 games do you consider reviewing? I'm a huge PS2 fan

PS2 is probably the system i have the most games for (38 of them last time i checked) so i have a ton of Ps2 games planned. Just a few i wanna cover:

Ratchet and Clank: Size-Matters
Rayman 3
Sly Cooper
Jak II
Pac Man World 2
Tak 2
Crash Nitro Kart

and a few others so i have a lot to work with :p

Turtlesauce
08-13-2014, 03:37 PM
I have 78 PS2 Games :D

Also, review Ratchet and Clank, pls :D I love your reviews, and I'd like to know what you think of my childhood games

Umbreon
08-16-2014, 05:16 AM
Tomorrow's review is on a game i dont like but everyone else seems to like.So look forward to that i guess. Or dont, i guess.

EDIT: By tomorrow, i meant today since its past midnight i guess.

Umbreon
08-16-2014, 05:34 PM
You know whats hard for me to review? Bad ones? No, those are easy to review. Good games are hard yea but the hardest is the games i dont like but everyone else does. For example...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/41/Legend_of_zelda_cover_%28with_cartridge%29_gold.pn g
Developed By - Nintendo
Published By - Nintendo
Release Date - August 22, 1987

Yup i dont like the original Zelda...at all. Before you come and murder me or soemthing, allow me to at least explain.

Story
You are a boy named Link in Hyrule. The ruler of Hyrule is Princess Zelda (If she was a ruler wouldnt that make her a queen?..eh..whatever) Ganon (misspelled Gannon on the tile screen) kidnaps Zelda. Ganon is an evil wizard who holds a piece of the Tri Force. The Tri Force is made up of 3 parts, each representing an attribute: Wisdom, Power, and Courage. Ganon has Power and Zelda has Wisdom. Courage isnt in this game which begs the question why they fucking called it a Tri force if it only has 2 pieces but...whatever. Before Ganon could take the Tri Force piece, Zelda smashes it into 8 pieces and scatters it across the land. You need to go to each of the 8 locations and find each piece. Its okay for NES standards but the game never explains the story, youd have to read the manual. But its an alright story. Story doesnt matter anyways
10/20

Graphics
Bland. It doesnt look that great., It seems empty and just doesnt look good.
9/20

Gameplay/Controls
This is where it sucks. Okay, first off: The controls. They are so fucking stiff it takes forever to get used to it. It just doesnt feel right and leads to a lot of deaths because of it. The controls suck horribly. You cant move ion 8 directions so it seems bad. You malso cant attack while moving so every time you use your sword you pause and that can fuck you up a lot.Next: The gameplay. This is the definitojn of a "Where the fuck do i go?!" kind of game. The overall gameplay is your standard zelda type stuff. But the difference is, in this game you have no direction. NOTHING is explained, NOTHING tells you where to go. Its literally aimless wandering until you find a dungeon and hope its easy enough to beat or hope you cna get through it without a specific item. The game has a map, yeah but it sucks ass too. Its just a grey square with a smaller green square saying where you are. It doesnt help at all. Couldnt they have done SOMETHING with the map to make it work better? The game tells you NOTHING. Oh, i was supposed to burn this one tree? Good thing it looks EXACTLY LIKE EVERY OTHER TREE IN THE AREA. This game requires shit like that and the only way to know without a guide is to burn every single tree in the forest and hope you get the right one. Same with bombs. In later zleda games, the walls you can bomb have a tell. Y'know, a crack in it or something but this game doesnt. Bomb every wall and hope you get the right area. The game has no landmarks or anything so everywhere seems the same. There are old men in the game who give you tips but they are so worthless "Dodongos hate smoke" okay..what the fuck is a Dodongo? You wouldnt know unless you look it up. And even then, what he means by smoke is you have to use bombs on him. WHY NOT JUST SAY HE HATES BOMBS?!?! Theres a guy in Dungeon 7 that blocks your path and just says "Grumble..Grumble..." That apparently translates to "Give me the expensive meat you cna only buy in a secret cave in the overworld that you cant possibly find without a guide".YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? The game can alsop be unfairly difficult at times. Be prepared to see the game over screen a LOT. This is due to the fact that the controls SUUUUUUUUUCL amd tje fact that enemies later on get brutal. Every dungeon is a horribly brutal expirience starting with dungeon 3 thanks to annoying as fuck enemies like Darknuts and Wizrobes. Ganon's dungeon is the dictionary definition of Cruel and Unfair. Its a huge dungeon with the most annoying enemy combinations possible and i fucking hate it. If you die, you start the dungeon over. Ganons dungeon plays like this: Get your ass kicked, die. Get a bit farther, Die and start over. Thats pretty much what it is until you finally are able to finish it. Do yourself a favor and use a map on Gamefaqs or something because this dungeon has a lot of fucking dead ends. I feel bad for the kids in the 80's who didnt have a guide or a friend that knew everything. In Ganon's dungeon there are 2 major items. One is the Red Ring which doubles your defense. The other is the Silver ASrrow which is REQUIRED TO BEAT GANON. Does the game tell you this? NO!. If you get to Ganon without the arrows you cannot win. AND ITS NEVER EXPLAINED THAT YOU NEED THEM! Yes, the game came with an actual map but if you bought the game used, you were fucked. You spend hours randomly walking around with shit controls unless you have a guide. If you need a damn guide to complete a game and have fun that isnt a sign of a good game. This game was great back in the day, yeah but compared to other zelda games and even on its own, it is an aged and horrible game. Without a guide this shit is unplayable.
Controls - 8/20
Gameplay - 9/20

Music
OH GOD. Its like...a 20 second loop played over and over and over and over. Then you go in a dungeon and its a 20 second loop over and over and over and its so fucking annoying and repetitive and could they have added a COUPLE more songs?! This is one of the few games i cant play with the music on..i just cant.
8/20

Overall
How anyone can like this now is beyond me. Its unplayable without a guide.
44/100

Umbreon
08-19-2014, 11:45 PM
Since im reviewing Sonic Heroes tomorrow, im gonna do a quick rant/review on one of the worst things ever made by humanity, Sonic Genesis. Now, in 2006 Sega celebrated Sonic's 15th anniversary! To celebrate they released 3 games: The worst thing ever, Sonic 06, the meh-est thing ever, Sonic Riders. And this.....thing...Sonic Genesis. Sonic Genesis is essentially a port of Sonic 1 for the GBA. Doesnt sound that bad right? WRONG. IT IS. Okay, lets say YOU had to make a port of the game for the GBA: Which would you do?

A.) Easilly change the Genesis Rom to a GBA rom which would take maybe a few hours
B.) Remake the first game using new sprites
C.) Slap the genesis graphics on an entirely different game's engine and call it a day

If you chose anything other than C, congratulations! You are smarter than Sonic Team. Yeah, they just slapped the genesis game on Sonic Advance's engine. They fucked up one of the easiest things a game designer can do to make easy money. If you are curious, Sonic Advance's engine is entirely different from sonic 1's so this causes major glitches and slow down. SLOW DOWN IN A SONIC GAME. ugh......just to give you an idea of how bad it is, i beat Green Hill Zone Act 1 in 1:21 seconds (I timed it) but the timer on the game said it took me 1:09 seconds. The slow down is so bad, the timer is delayed by 12 seconds. I thought there was something wrong with my emulator so i borrowed a copy off of my friend and its the same. The game randomly jumps from being too slow to too fast in seconds and it gets annoying. Because of this, invincibility boxes last WAAAAAAY too long. Another problem is the physics. You gain very little momentum from running. But sometimes you gain too much. Its hard to explain but...lets say you are running down a slope with a ramp at the end, sometimes the momentum makes it so you only go like an inch off the ground and other times you go WAY higher than you're supposed to. This makes it so that you cant tell how high you are going to go so you cant time your jumps correctly. Another problem is the screen crunch.

This is sonic genesis
http://coolrom.com/screenshots/gba/Sonic%20the%20Hedgehog%20-%20Genesis%20(2).jpg

This is sonic 1
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d3/MD_Sonic_the_Hedgehog.png

LOOK AT THAT! The screen crunch is SO bad. There are times where spikes fall from the ceiling and in the genesis version, its fine because you can see it coming. But here? It falls from offscreen and blindsides you and its fucking annoying! The screen crunch makes bosses a joke. Because the screen is zoomed in the bosses are lower down. This means you can jump on top of them and beat them in seconds. The game adds a Spin Dash to it and the level design isnt built around you having a spin dash. Because of thi, this the game is easilyl broken by spindashing past obstacles. The final problem is the music. Sonic 1 is an amazing soundtrack and they FUCK IT UP. I dont fucking get it...the GBA is stronger than the Genesis, it doesnt take that much effort to do....HOW DID THEY FUCK THIS UP? Someone did what Sega didnt and made a Sonic rom into a GBA one and he said it took little effort. SONIC TEAM IS A BUNCH OF LAZY PRICKS AND IKGDSOHGGEFJHJO. ugh..So thats Sonic Genesis. And this proves that even a PORT can be fucked up. So yeah, Sonic Heroes tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me im gonna play the GOOD version of Sonic 1....fuck you sega...fuck you.

Umbreon
08-20-2014, 03:55 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/48/Sonic_Heroes_cover.png/250px-Sonic_Heroes_cover.png
Developed By - Sonic Team
Published By - Sega
Release Date - December 30th, 2003

So Sonic's first multiplatform game after Sega became a third party developer, huh? Lets see if Sonic Heroes gets a Sonic Zero or not (C WUT I DID THAR?!)...sorry for that. But yeah, this is Sonic Heroes.

Story
This story is a little hard to explain since its 4 stories. In Team Sonic's Eggman sends them a letter telling them the world will be destroyed in 3 days and that they cant stop him (I would bitch about why Eggman sent them a letter announcing this, but it has a reason so yea) so they set off to find Eggman and defeat him. Team Rose is searching for their friends. Amy is looking for Sonic, Big is looking for Froggy, and Cream is looking for Chocola the Chao. In Team Dark's, Rogue the Bat breaks into Eggman's base and finds Shadow (Who died at the end of Adventure 2) she is shocked and awakens him (What the hell is that green liquid that magically heals Anime characters anyways?) Shadow awakens and sirens go off. A robot named E-123-OMEGA starts shooting randomly until Rogue stops him...i guess "it" is a better term because he's a robot but whatever.....Shadow has amnesia and doesnt know what happened, Rogue is looking for Eggman because he stole some of her treasure, and Omega is trying to kill Eggman. Before we move on to Chaotix...Why the fuck doesnt Rogue tell Shadow what happened? She knows everything....he doesnt even ask and she doesnt even try to tell him. Why does nobody else tell him for that matter? At no point doesn Shadow say "Hey, this blue hedgehog knows about me...maybe i should ask him what he knows" or anything like that. Its fucking stupid. Chaotix's story is that they are hired by a mysterious man voiced by the same guy who voices Eggman (I wonder who it is?!) and they are told to stop...Eggman..for some reason that ill explain soon. After all 4 stories are complete, they are all at Eggman's base. There they find Metal Sonic. He has trapped Eggman and took over his fleet of ships and army of robots. He pretended to be Eggman to lure everyone to one place so eh can absorb all of their abilities and become a god. He does so and becomes Metal-Madness, a giant overly sized overly designed Robot dragon dinosaur thingy that is the most powerful being in existance (And yet) you beat him in 3 minutes but we'll get to that later). Sonic turns Super Sonic and beats the shit out of Metal Sonic. Its okay but the Shadow plot hole thing is distracting. But the one thing that saves this story for me is the cheesiness. Im not even going to describe it im just gonna put quotes from the game

Sonic - What do ya know? We have a date with Eggman too!
Shadow - Then it'll be a date to DIE for!

Metal Sonic - How...why couldnt i stop you...?
Sonic - Because we're Sonic Heroes!

Sonic - Looks like its over...FOR YOU!

Sonic - Yeah! Lets show them the TRUE superpower of teamwork!

14/20 (Cheesiness makes it gain 4 points :p it was gonna be 10/20)

Graphics
The levels look good, the models not so much. The characters are too shiny and they just dont look good. The cutscenes and the environments look good and are varied. GET THE GAMECUBE VERISION. The PS2 and XBox versions have shittier graphics and a piss poor frame rate
12/20 Gamecube
8/20 PS2/XBox

Gameplay/Controls
This is where this may get long. The gameplay is the same for all 4 teams for the most part. The only difference is where the goal ring is located and that Chaotix do mission based gameplay. its your basic get to the end type gameplay. Each character plays differently. Every team has a Speed character, a Fly character and a Power character. The Speed character is obviously the fastest. They can do a useless Tornado attack, a useless Triangle Jump, and a useless Rocket Accell. So they are just played to go through parts of a level faster. The flying character can fly a short time and shoot their team mates at enemies to destroy them. But they are slow as fuck. The Power character cando punches and stuff and break down walls. Each plays differently so that fine. There are level up spheres around the levels that make your characters stronger and faster so thats fine too. The main problem is 3 things: 1.) The levels are too long. Sonic levels are usually 4-5 minutes, but these get to be like 8+ minutes long and just drag. 2.) The special stages are HORRIBLE. They control like ass, they arent fun, and last too long. 3.) YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE GAME FOUR TIMES. EVERY level FOUR times. It gets so repettitive and its just..horrible. Every team plays the same except Chaotix. FUCK CHAOTIX. They have mission based gameplay and 9 times out fo 10 they are HORRIBLE. They force you to explore the levels looking for 1 little thing and their levels can seriously get 20+ minutes.Its shit ;-; They also over use the "Kill all the enemies in the area to move on" thing. Its a Sonic game, not a beat 'em up. The bosses are bland. There are 2 types of bosses, the kind you homing attack over and over until you win and enemy rushes. Both are bland and forgettable. Now for multiplayer, its okay. Theres a lot to do but you have to beat a ton of levels and challenges and time attacks and stuff to get them and it isnt worth the effort honestly. But its fun if you have them unlocked. Its just not worth the effort. The game controls fine but can be a bit slippery at times. The only problems other than that are that changing rails can be a bitch and you cant change characters in the air. In the gamecube version, the PS2/XBox version is a LOT more slippery and has a lot more glitches and its just bleh....
Gameplay - 11/20
Controls - 14/20 Gamecube
Controls - 10/20 PS2/XBox

Music
Its hard for me to review this. It doesnt have that many good tracks but the good tracks are REALLY good. Sonic Heroes, Seaside Hill, Casino Park, and What Im Made Of are great but it also has a lot of bland and forgetable tracks too. Its a mixed bag.
12/20

Overall
Its..okay. Not bad, not good, just Ok. The bad stuff is REALLY bad but the good stuff is pretty damn good. If you play it PLAY THE GAMECUBE VERSION.
52/100 - Gamecube
43/100 - PS2/XBox

Umbreon
08-22-2014, 04:41 AM
http://zeldawiki.org/images/thumb/8/8c/Aol_logo.png/260px-Aol_logo.png
Developed By - Nintendo
Published By - Nintendo
Systems - NES
Release Date - December 1, 1988

i dont want to do this....alright...guys...i have been reviewing games for a year...and never before have i not wanted to review something as much as this. I...i just....i never thought i would play this again...this game...ugh....lets get this fucking shit over with this is Zelda 2. While Zelda 1 was outdated and i dont like it, at the time it did amazingly so it got a sequel. AND TIS ONE OF THE CHEAPEST FUCKING..ok....ill try to stay calm. The developers tried a different approach by making this a 2D Action RPG....AND ITS ONE OF THE MOST FUCKING BRUTAL THINGS....lets just get this started.

Story
After Ganon is defeated, his followers plan to revive him. You play as Link (3 years after the original) and have to stop them. You're told Zelda (A different Zelda than the last game's) is under a sleeping spell and to wake her up you must defeat the 8 temples/dungeons and prove your worth by getting to the godess statue at the end. Ganon's followers will try to kill you, but not because you're in their way, because they want to cut you open and use your blood to revive Ganon. Thats surprisingly dark for a 1987 NES game. Anyways, after proving yourself you enter the great temple. There, you defeat Ganon and save the day. Even though this is a sequel, link starts with none of his gear from the last game except the sword. I guess he just outgrew them opr something idunno. The story is fine. Decently complex for an NES game
12/20

Graphics
The game looks fine. Not great, not bad. Its somewhere in the middle. The sprites look fine and the environments look fine too.
10/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is your basic 2D platformer stuff with RPG elements. You level up as you kill enemies and you go from dungeon to dungeon Along the way you get magical abilities. Some useful, some not. Shield gives you extra defense and fucking trust me, you'll need this. Jump lets you do an extra high jump but its kinda useless except to run from enemies and you rarely want to do that so...Fairy turns link into a little flying fairy. Its weird...but helpful. Fire is absolutely useless except for fighting Tektites, Reflect lets you reflect certain things but is useless 75% of the time, Spell does pretty much nothing except open a door later on. Thunder is a creen nuke but its never fucking worth using all your Magic on it. The game is less cryptic than its predecessor but i still highly reccomend a map or guide. Theres certain things that are never explained, liek hwo you cant beat the final boss without Thunder. By killing enemies you gain Exp and can level up. Sounds fine on paper. But then you play it AND IT IS ONE OF THE CHEAPEST BRUTALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT THINGS I HAVE EVER FUCKING EXPIRIENCED IN ME ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. EVERYONE is after you and they will stop at NOTHING to kill you. The game is easy enough until you get to Death Mountain. FUCK. THIS. PLACE. This place is impossible unless you spend liek an hour grinding. If you dont, you will get your ass kicked and lose your lives. Yeah, Link has lives in this game. And if you get a game over? YOU GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. You keep your items and levels but lose all your current Exp and HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DUNGEON AND DO IT ALL OVER. If you spend an hour on a dungeon, get to the boss, and get a game over, the game says FUCK YOU! DO IT AGAIN! and its FCKING HORRIBLE. The amount of enemies they throw at you is fucking horrible. Death Mountain is famous for its difficulty but every other dungeon passed that is just as bad, its just a little easier to handle because you leveled up a bit more. YOU KNOW HOW PISSED OFF YOU GET WHEN YOU GET BOOTED BACK TO THE BEGINNING WHEN YOU GET A GAME OVER?! IN OTHER ZELDA GAMES YOU START AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FUCKING DUNGEON. This game is so fucking unfair...so you might think i hate it and yeah, i kind of do but...a the same time...it gets your blood pumping. One of the best feelings in the world is beating a dungeon after spending so long on it. It makes you want to keep playing. Its a brutal fucking ride, yeah, but you feel a sense of accomplishment when you actually complete a dungeon. The controls are really good. They respond well and it feels great.
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 16/20

Music
This game has a pretty good soundtrack. Too bad you wont hear much of it due to the ammount of screaming you'll be doing while playing this.
13/20

Overall
Can i reccomend this to people? I....dont know...like, on a technical level the game is great. The game works fine. The graphics are decent, the conrols are great, the overall gameplay is well done. its just ball bustingly hard....If you want a challenge that will make you etar your hair out, try it.
53/100

now if you excuse me, i need to destroy something from anger....

Umbreon
08-23-2014, 02:10 AM
So iv'e been on a Mega Man binge lately so....Month of Mega Man!

http://wallpoper.com/images/00/41/34/73/robot-mega_00413473.png

Im gonna review all the classic Mega Man games plus looking at Mega Man & Bass and The Wily Wars! yea....12 games...lets get this over with. In the late 1980's, Capcom was trying to make a new video game character. So they created Mega Man (Known as Rockman in Europe and Japan). Lets see if Mega Man deserves to be considered one of the best, or if Capcom ignoring the poor guy for years is the right thing to do, This is Mega Man.

http://2.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com/37/98/d3dccf401c36c0f9632c23c719eb80f6.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - December 17th, 1987

Story
In the year 200X, two scientists named Dr. Wily and Dr. Light are partners in creating robots, Dr. Light wins many awards for his advancements in the field of robotics and Dr. Light gets jealous so he highjacks Dr. Light's robots and attempts to take over the world. With Wily on the loose with an army of intelligent and powerful robots, Dr. Light knew that the world's police forces and armies weren't ready to deal with this new challenge. Soon, Mega (Rock in Japan and Europe) volunteers to be transformed into a fighting robot. Light agrees and transforms Mega into Mega Man. Equipped with Ceratanium armor and the Mega Buster, Rock became known as the super robot Mega Man and set out for Wily's fortress to stop Wily from taking over the world. After defeating each of the Robot Masters, Wily's castle is revealed and Mega Man must hurry to stop Wily. Its complex for an NES game but the game never explains the story, the manual does and even then the manual explains the story pretty vaguely and badly so the comics is where the story comes from. Its fine.
14/20

Graphics
The game looks fine but the flicker gets really annoying. The sprites look fine. Mega Man's blue coloration makes him stick out from all the environments so you wont lose where you are. The levels themselves are nicely designed in terms of looks. The game does recieve slowdown due to this at points but its not horrible. The flicker can get annoying though. So overall, nice looking with drawbacks due to the graphics.
13/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is your basic run and shoot type game. You get a choice between 6 Robot Masters and you can fight them in any order, which was actually a rare thing back then. NES games at the time were very linear in how you beat them, and thats fine, but its nice to have non linearity. It encourages multiple playthroughs by choosing a different order to fight the bosses in. It plays fine. The main problem is the gravity. Mega Man has a lot of momentum so platformers feel like they have ice physics most of the time. its not that but when you try to make certain jumps you fall to your death because you slip off. The flicker can also make the game hard. When collecting health, the game pauses for a second and if that happens close to a ledge youll fall off because the momentum carries through from before you collected the health and you cant stop it in time. This game is pretty hard for the wrong reasons. The momentum fucks you up, for one. But also, there are parts where i am like 99% sure you cant get by without taking a hit. Mega Man can only shoot horizontally, which can get annoying when theres enemies above you and you cant take care of them easilly. Other than the Mega Buster, Mega Man gains the abilities of the Robot Masters he defeates for you to use as long as you have enough Ammo. A lot of them are useless though. Cutman's Rolling Cutter moves in an arc so its hard to hit enemies most of the time and Bombman's weapon has an annoying delay to it that makes it useless to anyone other than Gutsman. Some of the power ups are cool though. Iceman's weapon is usefull for freezing enemies and hazards and Gutsman's is usefull for clearing out a lot of enemies at once. Elecman's weapon is fucking beautiful. It has great range, shoots in 3 directions, and uses little ammo. This is what you'll use 90% of the time :p All the robot masters are weak to other robot master's weapons so they are key to defeating each other. I usually go Cutman or Bombman first. Cutman takes extra damage from your buster and Bombman's pattern is easy to figure out. The only Robot Masters that will give you trouble is Elecman and Fireman. Elecman does unfair amounts of damage to you and Fireman's shooting pattern is too fast to dodge well. The stages themselves arent that bad but there are a few parts that piss you off. the Ice Blocks in iceman's stage that disappear and reappear in a patern are fucking annoying and i think Capcom keeps bringing them back in later installments just to piss us off, and the platforms in Gutsman's stage can go fuck themselves. DO GUTSMAN BEFORE ELECMAN! If you do, you will get a Magnet Beam in Elecman's stage and that breaks half the game. It basically makes platforms for you so you can skip a lot of platforming segments. After you defeat all 6 Robot Masters, you unlock the Wily Stages. They are pretty much gauntlets of the shit you encountered before. The bosses can go FUCK RIGHT OFF. Yellow Devil is notoriously difficult for having a bullshit pattern and for you having little time to attack him, the boss rush is fucking annoying, Fake Mega Man is bullshit, and the final Boss is...easy. The game controls okay but the gravity fucks you up. Mega Man drops like a fucking rock and that takes a lot of getting used to. The momentum is also a pain in the ass.
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 11/20

Music
The soundtrack is okay. Fireman, Elecman, and Wily 1 have great themes but the rest are blehhhhh.
13/20

Overall
Mega Man is a fine game, not as good as the other games but still. All series had to start somewhere. Mega Man was critically praised at the time but didnt sell many copies. I dont know why, maybe its because the game was 2 hours long or maybe it was just too hard and earned a bad rep. If i go back to Mega Man this isnt the first on my list of games to go back to. The first game is rather bare and doesnt do much but offer a decent challenge.
65/100

Nowadays, if a game doesnt sell well its deemed not worthy of a sequel. But Capcom still decided to do a Mega Man sequel one year later. so next time: Mega Man 2!...huh?....Mega Man Powered Up?....fine....

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110426190424/megaman/images/thumb/0/0f/Rockman_Rockman_Art_01.jpg/270px-Rockman_Rockman_Art_01.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Publsihed By - Capcom
Release Date - March 14th, 2006

This isnt a regular review just a paragreaph or two describing the game since theres not much different. Mega Man Powered Up is a remake of Mega Man 1 on the PSP and thats its main problem, its on the PSP. Im not sure, but i remember not a lot of people giving a shit about the PSP unless they were RPG fans due to the PSP's pretty much shit non-RPG library. Besides being on the PSP, this game is fantastic. Its got a shit ton of features. There are 2 modes, Classic Mode and New Mode. In Classic, the game is a remake of the original pretty much square for square. In New Mode, the game is a remake but the levels are enhanced and edited a bit, there are full cutscenes and voice acting, and 2 more Robot Masters, Time Man and Oil Man. The game has a shit ton of features: A difficulty select, challenge modes, being able to play as the robot masters, a level designer, and a shit ton of other features. Again, because it was on the PSP this game didnt sell well at all. Its a shame, this is the best version of Mega Man 1. If this got a rerelease on the PSN or on 3DS or SOMETHING it would be great. The art style is a mixed bag, some love it some hate it but i personally. love it. If you for some reason have a PSP i reccomend it.


Tomorrow, we tackle Mega Man 2!


Also, YAY 100th post in this thread :p

Umbreon
08-23-2014, 05:58 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/be/Megaman2_box.jpg/250px-Megaman2_box.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - July, 1989

As we discussed, Mega Man didnt sell that well. Capcom didnt think Mega Man 2 would do that well so they decided to quit Mega Man and make soemthing else. The producers of the first game asked if they could make a sequel to it anyway. Capcom said yes if they work on other games at the same time. And so, Megaman 2 was born.

Story
Since Wily's defeat in the first game, Wily decided to create 8 ultimate robot masters specifically designed to kill Mega man. Since WIly is free and it never mentions the fact that he' was in jail or anything that means Megaman apparently just let him go. As Mega Man you must defeat all 8 Robot Masters and save the day once again from Wily. Its an okay story i guess but pretty fucking basic. its an NES game, so ill let it slide.
12/20

Graphics
The game looks much better than the first. They go for a more anime style look for the graphics, the game's colors are much more vibrant and nice to look at, the environments are well done, and the slow down happens a lot less often. The thing that ruins it is the sprite flicker. It is so distracting and ugly to look at. It makes the game really ugly looking at times.
14/20

Gameplay/Controls
The overall gameplay is pretty much the same, run and jump and shoot to take down each Robot Master and get to Wily. You gain the Robot Master's abilities when you defeat them and cna go to any level in any order. It gets rid of the point system (Which i forgot to bring up in my Mega Man 1 review.) thats fine, it was a pointles feature anyways. Mega Man seems to control the same he did in the first game except he seems a bit less stiff and heavy. He still has that bullshit momentum, but the gravity is better here. While the controls and feel are the same, the level design got a LOT better. Its better handled. The game is overall easier than the first and theres a LOT less bullshit moments, but it still has a fair challenge. The knockback from enemies isnt as bad as it was in the first game, you're gonna die from cheap shots a lot less here. The game introduces a Password system so you dont have to beat the whole game in 1 go (Thank fuck...) Patience is required to beat the stages again, just like the first one, but its an overall better expirience when you beat a Robot Master. The game has ways you can skip bullshit and get secret health power ups and lives if you're skilled enough and thats nice. It gives a reward to people who are good at the game. It encourages being good at the game while not pissing off new players too much. Its a nice balance. Something new added to the game are E-Tanks. They allow you to heal fully in a battle. You can only hold 4 at a time, but its a great addition that makes the frustration levels go down. They go away when you get a Game over though, so be careful. The game is overall easier than the first one but it has a hard mode that is a bit harder if you want a challenge. Easy mode makes item drops more frequent and makes your buster do more damage to make bosses easier. Its a great way to introduce new players to the Mega Man series. The weapons here are much better than the original's. They all have uses and are helpful in situations. And yes, Metal Blade is fucking broken. It destroys enemies quickly, has a shit ton of ammo, and can shoot in 8 directions. Beautiful ;-;. As for the order, if you're a good player i reccomend doing Metal Man first so you can get his broken as fuck weapon. if you arent that great at Mega Man, do Air Man first. He's easy to beat with just the buster. As you get farther in the game you get 3 items: Item-1, Item-2, and Item-3 (Great names, guys...). These are VERY helpful. Item 2 is a platform that evelates you forward and it lets you skip a LOT of bullshit parts like those damn disappearing reappearing blocks. Fuck those. Item 1 and 3 are also very usefull. Because the new weapons are so helpful and fun, the game has a lot more replay value than the first one. While the game has less bullshit, it still has bullshit. Spikes kill Megaman in ONE hit and Bubble Man's (I would make a yugioh joke but...nahhh.) Stage and the Wily stages have a ton of them everywhere. Quick Man's stage is notoriously bullshit with its insta kill lasers. The Dragon boss at the end of a Wily stage is BS. And the boss at the end of Wily 4 is fucking bullshit. You cant beat it unless you have full ammo of Crash man's weapon and NOTHING tells you this. You need to shoot it 7 times and you only have 7 bullets, fuck up once, and you have to kill yourself. And geuss what? if you do, you have to grind for more ammo since the game doesnt automatically refill it when you die. Thats horrible design. The game is the first one to really do a Boss Rush. Its nothing to worry about, you have all their weaknesses. The game controls fine, same as the first with less stiffness.
Gameplay - 16/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
Its one of the most famous NES soundtracks of all time for a reason, its beautiful. Almost every track is memorable and catchy. Heat Man and Wily 3 and 4 are the only bleh soundtracks. Wily 1 is one of the msot famous pieces of video game music ever and it deserves that amount of praise.
18/20

Overall
The game is a blast. Its a joy from start to finish, except a few bullshit parts, but the bullshit parts are rare. Its a greta game, play it if you somehow havent already.
74/100

Mega Man 2 sold a lot more copies so, Mega Man 3 was made and released! Later tonight, we'll cover Mega Man 3!

Umbreon
08-24-2014, 05:32 PM
So i passed out at like 6 AM and woke up at 2 PM so....thats why this is a bit late. Anyways, Mega
Man 3!

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100821222602/megaman/images/thumb/a/a9/Mm3jp.png/280px-Mm3jp.png
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - November 1990

Story
After Wily was defeated and Mega Man did....nothing again..didnt get him arrested, didnt kill him, nothing at all... (Can we just agree Mega Man is a dumbass?) Wily has seen the error of his ways and is currently helping light make a giant Robot called Gamma.to be a peacekeeper. (*Insert Sonic Joke Here*) 8 Robot Masters who were bult to collect Power Crystals to power the mrobot suddenly go Haywire and start attacking. Not only that but a new Robot named protoman is after Mega Man because.....uh......because fuck you thats why i guess. Its okay, on par with the last games story but a bit worse because nobody can fucking tell Wily is evil.
11/20

Graphics
The same as Mega Man 2's but with a LOT less sprite flicker so....yeah. The same score as 2's plus 2 points for less Flicker.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
Gameplay is roughly the same. Take on 8 Robot Masters in any order, then fight Wily. Mega Man has a few new moves and abilities this time. Traveling with him is a Robot dog named Rush. He is fucking broken. Each Rush is usefull its in own way. Rush Coil lets you get a special high jump by jumping on Rush which lets you reach high obstacles, Rush Jet lets you fly over pits and you get full control so you can skip a lot of shit, and rush Marine basically skips most of the water segments. Other than that, Mega Man can now do a slide move to dodge enemies and go through small gaps. Its a great dodging technique since you go so fast doing it. Energy Tanks are back and now you can carry 9 of them. They also dont go away if you get a game over. Each level challenges you in new ways because of the new moves and abilities Mega Man has. Theres also a lot more Mini Bosses for some reason. The Stages, however, feel a bit short to me. That may be because you dont spend as much time dealing with bullshit but...they just seem short. The weapons are fine. Magnet Missle homes in on enemies so it is pretty usefull, Search Snake is useful for taking out enemies on a higher ledge and grounded enemies in general, TOP MAN's WEAPON SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. I cant fuckign hit anything with it without taking damage because you have to get so close to the enemies to use it, its bullshit. Other than that, Sparkman's is boring, Needleman's is boring, Hard Man's (*Insert Joke Here*) is way too slow to be useful and Gemini's is annoying because you can only shoot 1 at a time and it takes forever to go away since the bullets bounce of walls. And then you beat all the Robot Masters and...ugh...Dark Robots. Dark Robots have taken over Needle Man, Shadow Man, Spark Man, and Gemini Man and now you have to do all 4 of their stages again with 2 boss encounters. They change the levels a bit but nothing more than adding spikes to a wall in some stages. And you must do each stage with only ONE CHECKPOINT. The Boss is a lot harder than the Robot Masters because his patters are harder to tell. I like how the game is longer than Mega Man 2, but this is the wrong way to do it. Most people just beat the robot masters and use a code to skip this part and i can see why. After you beat them, you must fight Protoman (Known here as Break Man). And then you learn that while you were doign that, Wily ran off with Gamma. So now you must do Wily Stages to save the day. Why am i not surprised? Dont worry, the Wily Stages are fucking pathetic. They give you so many lives and E-Tanks and you can skip 90% of the levels with Rush Jet. And then you reach yellow Devil. Fuck Yellow Devil. Yeah you have E-Tanks and yeah he moves a bit slwoer but he can still be annoying at times. The Bosses are simple and the levels are short. These are the easiest Wily Stages in the series by far. The final boss is fuckign pathetic With Rush Jet. Then you beat Wily and it turns out he was a fake the whole time. So now you fight Gamma. The Controls are fine, the same as last time. The Slide being done by pressing down and A takes a bit to get used to but its fine.
Gameplay - 15/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
The soundtrack isnt too shabby. Nothing here is really forgettable but none of it is as good as Mega Man 2's. Like, 3 has more good songs but the good songs in 2 are better than the good songs in 3.
15/20

Overall
Outside the Dark Robot's parts, i enjoyed this one. The levels are a bti shrot and the game is a bit easy, but it doesnt hamper tha game too much. Check it out. Its on par with Mega Man 2.
71/100



After Wily's defeat he builds a time machine and gives us...Mega Man The Wily Wars! Now, this game was released in America only through the use of The Sega Channel. Whats a Sega Channel? Uh...think of it as PSN in 1994. It lets you get free games, free demos, trialers, interviews, all that shit. it didnt do that wellk sales wise mainly because nobody really cared about the genesis anymore. It was 1994, the PS1 was going to be out next year and the N64 was on tis way. So the game doesnt exist on a cart outside of Japan.

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100823011837/megaman/images/thumb/a/ac/RMWorldWilyWars.jpg/270px-RMWorldWilyWars.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - February 1995

Story
Tired of having his plans failed every time by Mega Man, Dr. Wily decided to build himself a time machine. Transporting himself into the past, Dr. Wily restored his defeated robots and started causing chaos. At this rate, even the peaceful past was about to be tainted by Dr. Wily's ambitions! In order to stop Dr. Wily, Mega Man was sent into the past in a time machine hastily crafted by Dr. Light to relive his earlier adventures Thats literally the entire story. Its so simple its fucking horrible. Its a remake so it wont get the worst score ever though.
7/20

Graphics
Its updated graphics...kinda...this isnt a 16 bit game this is like...a 12 bit game. The graphics are updated form their 8 bit version but not much. The sprites seem okay but the levels themselves still look kind of 8-bit. Its weird. But yeah, the graphics arent good. Not by Genesis standards anyways.
10/20

Gameplay/Controls
The game is a remake of the first 3 Mega Man games so......i cant really comment on it much. it fixes the slow down and flicker from the first 2 games. The game now has a Save Feature so no more passwords! FUCK YEAH! Mega Man 2 got rid of Normal difficulty so you must beat it on Hard Mode. The game has a lot of slow down issues when too many things are on scren. Its most notable in bosses like Yellow Devil and the Green Dragon. When you beta all 3 Mega Man games on the cart, you unlock The Wily Tower, a set of hard stages that you can take any 8 Robot Master powers from any of the 3 games with you. The levels are hard if you take in the wrong weapons but patheticly easy if you take in the right ones. Its not that long either. Youll probably get this mode done in about 20-30 minutes. Its fun mixing and matching the weapons though. The game controls fine but seems stiff at points.
Gameplay - 16/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
The Remixes using Genesis sounds SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS in comparison to the original. Its bad. Its pretty fucking bad. Wily Tower has fucking amazing music tho.
11/20

Overall
Yeah i gave this game shit but..its worth checking out. If you're a Mega Man fan, play it once or twice if you can. Its a neat little remake but it has a few problems.
58/100

Since this is going so Slow...next time is Mega Man 4 And 5

Umbreon
08-25-2014, 06:07 PM
Depression has destroyed me today so the review is gonna be a bit late. Ill still try to get it out today, but i make no promises.

Umbreon
08-25-2014, 09:00 PM
So you might be wondering why 4 and 5 are being reviwed together. Thats for a few reasons

1.) It makes the mega man reviews go by faster
2.) The games dont change much so the revviews'll be short.

Lets start with 4

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100823043325/megaman/images/thumb/6/65/Mm4jp.png/280px-Mm4jp.png
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - January 1992


Story
Wily pretty much died at the end of 3...yeah...spoiler i guess. Anyways, after his defeat, his collgue, Dr. Cossack emerges. Cossack is a world famous Russian sicentist who wishes to prove he is better than Light and Wily. He sends 8 Robot Masters across the planet and demands Mega Man stop them or else the world will be nearly destroyed. After defeating Cossack it is discovered that Wily survived and was behind this plan all aloing. the story is basic. Same score 3 got.
11/20

Graphics
The game looks a bit better than 3 did. It has more animation and even certain 3D-esque graphics atr times (Like Mega Man's spinning head when he gets a new weapon) which was impressive for the time so...a bit better than mega Man 3.
17/20

Gameplay/Controls
The villain may be different but the game is pretty much the same. You nhave all the moves you did in 3 like the slide and stuff and the Rush Parts return, although Rush jet isnt as useful anymore since it can only travel in a line. Something new in this game is the Mega Buster (Yeah i know i called his weapon that before by mistake). If you hold down the shoot button, Mega Man charges up his buster and when you release, you shoot a powerful energy shot. I'd rather shoot enemies fast in that time though so i barely use it outside fo certain bosses. Speaking of Bosses, the game is structured the same. 8 Robot Masters, do them in any order, fight main villain. Not much has changed. As for order, Toad Man first. He is pathetic due to the fact that he jumps whenever you shoot him. His weapon is pretty good, tis an unblockable screen nuke that kills most enemies. Its actually kinda helpful. Other than that and a time stopping ability that makes Pharoah Man a joke, the weapons arent fun. The weapons in the previous games were bad at times but these...suck.Other than Skull Barrier being used in Drill Man's stage and beating Robot Masters, i cant think of any time i used most of these weapons. I use the gadgets a lot more. Rush coil and Wire help you reach higher obstacles, Rush Marine lets you skip bullshit in Water areas, and Balloon is pretty much one of the items from Mega Man 1. The routes you take may make you get these gadgets a bit late but get them as soon as you fucking can. The level design has a LOT of spikes and bottemless pits to dodge and Cheap hits too. Fuck this level design. Some of the stages drag too. Ring Man's stage goes on for an eternity, for example. Theres a little robot buddy named Eddie in the game that gives you free items, yeah but the game still has bullshit moments thta make it more annoying than other games in the series. There are tricks to get E-Tanks too. if you leave the area Eddie spawned an item in and come back, the item will be different so keep doing this for an easy E-Tank. You cna also get an E-Tank, get a game over, and get it again since you keep E-tanks you have after a Game Over. The end part of the game feels very anti climactic. Like it was added in last minute. The controls are fine, same as last time.
Gameplay - 14/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
Its pretty damn good. On par with mega Man 3's soundtrack. I reccomnd listening to it.
15/20

Overall
Its good but has bad parts to it. The gameplay overall is fun but the level design can be bleh at times and thats what holds it back from being as good as 2 or 3.
71/100



Now for 5!

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100826232845/megaman/images/thumb/9/91/RM5Promo.jpg/280px-RM5Promo.jpg

Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - December 1992

Story
Protoman (And So totally not Wily) kidnaps Dr. Light and Mega Man must go save him. After you defeat protoman you find out it was an imposter the whole time. After defeating the fake, Dr. Wily reveals himself and you must defeat him once again. Basic stuff.
11/20

Graphics
Same as 4. Move on.
17/20

Gameplay/Controls
This is where you can tell they were running out of ideas for Robot Masters. Most are either stupid ideas or rip offs. Mega Man 5 doesnt change or add a whole lot to the gameplay. Nothings really changed since Mega Man 4. The level design is different, yeah, but the overall gameplay is the same. You dont have any new moves or anything. The only new things are an arrow weapon that gives you a platform that sticks to walls, An M-Tank that fully restores your life and weapon energy, and Beat The Bird, which you can get by collecting letters in each stage that spell out Megaman 5. The Arrow is pointless because you have Rush jet and thats better, and Beat doies help by attacking enemies and bosses but its nothing spectacular. Mega Man's buster has seen an upgrade and that helps a LOT.with bosses. EVERY weapon in this game SUUUUUCKS. They are too situational or just plain useless. You pretty much use your Mega Buster and nothing else. It does kinda piss me off that you lose your charge when you get hit though. That didnt happen in 4. The Level Design has taken a step backwards from 4. Star Man's stage is okay and the Water Skii part is fun but other than that i have no real opinion on the design, its just boring. Even the Robot Masters and Bosses are boring. It could be because im mega Mand out but i didnt feel this way about 4 so i dont know it just seems.....bland. Even the proto Man levels arent hard or anything, just bland. Again, controls are the same as 3 and 4.
Gameplay - 11/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
Its okay, nothing great, nopthing terrible.
12/20

Overall
Theres nothing really WRONG with it, its just bland. It plays fine and controls fine but the bland level design and easy nature of it makes it feel..rushed.
66/100

Umbreon
08-27-2014, 02:40 AM
Time for the last 8-Bit Mega Man...which isnt on the virtual console for some reason...it stops at 5...dont ask me why. Its on the 3DS Virtual Console but not the Wii or Wii-U's. The game was released in 1993 and the Super Nintendow as already out for 2 years so i have no idea why this is on NES but...watevs

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100827020301/megaman/images/thumb/1/11/RM6CoverPromo.jpg/280px-RM6CoverPromo.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Nintendo
Release Date - March 1994

Story
Today is the first annual Robot Master tournament! A Fighting Tournament where a robot from each country battles one another! Its like Robot Wars except...not i guess. The creator of the battle, Mr. X (Which is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO totally NOT Wily) has decided to reprogram the robots to become killing machines. Mega Man and Rush vow to stop him once and for all. Basic Mega Man stuffs. But it is extra stupid. At the end of Mega Man 5, we clearly saw Wily Escape. That loose end isnt tied, for one, so the story is never completed. Secondly, its obvious X is Wily because we SAW him escape.
9/20

Graphics
Because the game takes place in different countries, the environments are diverse enough. other than that, the game looks the same as 5 did pretty much so...yea.
17/20

Gameplay/Controls
The Robot Masters are MUCH better. Their design and themes are more thought out. I didnt mention this before but since Mega Man 2 Capcom has held contests where kids can design the robot masters in Japan. Kind of cool. Anyways, the game plays as you'd expect. Theres only 1 real new thing and thats the Rush-Adaptor. Instead of Rush Jet/Coil/Ect, Mega Man can now fuse with Rush to create 2 new forms: Power Mega Man and Jet Mega Man. Get these fast. Power Mega Man has a powerful punch that destroys enemies easilly and can break certain blocks to unlock new paths and get you goodies. The downside is its not fast and cant jump well. You also cannot slide with it. Jet Mega Man can fly after a jump for a few seconds. It doesnt sound like much but it helps a LOT. The secret paths take you to secret versions of the Robot Masters. if you beat all 4 of them, you unlock Beat the bird who is the same as last time but doesnt work on bosses. Mega Man 6 is pathetically easy. The level design has no dick moves really, the bosses are easy to take out, you constantly get E-Tanks, Beat The Bird and the Rush Adaptors make the platforming and enemies a breeze, and the Robot Masters' strategies are too simple. Any Robot Master can be your first and you'll have little trouble. The weapons here are actually pretty damn good. The only 2 that arent that good are Blizzard Man's and Plant Barrier. The Mr.X Stages are okay. Theres a weird thing at the beginning of the first stage with a window that i was never able to do easilly. Its a nifty shrotcut but bleh. The bosses here are pathetic. Even Mr. X is. Yeah, lets cut out the bullshit, it was Wily the entire time and you have to go through Wily Castle stages. Again, NONE of these are a challenge. The Dinosaur? Easy. The Turret? Pathetic. The Reappearing/Disappearing Blocks? Easy to get by with Jet Mega Man. The controls are same as before
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 14/20


Music
Amazingly awesome. Blizzard Man is my favorite on the soundtrack but the soundtrack as a whole is excellent.
16/20

Overall
Its fine. The environments are varied, the soundtrack is great,a dn the overall gameplay is fun. Its a bit easy, so if you're looking for a challenge, it sure aint here.
68/100


Next up is Mega Man 7!

Umbreon
08-28-2014, 08:34 PM
im sick as fuck right now and am dizzy as fuck when writing this but heres a megaman 7 review anyways

Time to go to the SNES 16-Bit Era! only 4 years late!

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100509043208/megaman/images/thumb/a/a7/MM7-Promo-Art.jpg/280px-MM7-Promo-Art.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Nintendo
Release Date - September 1995

Story
After Wily's arest in Mega Man 6, everyone is pleased that the world is now at peace once again. However, Wily always knew his plan will end in failure so he created 4 Robot Masters to activate after no sign of Dr. Willy (Typo in the actual game). Doctor Wily is now being broken out of jail. Soon after chasing Mega Man runs into a new character Bass and his robot Wolverine, Treble. Yay more music puns. He tells Mega Man that he is also trying to stop Wily from escaping. After beating the 4 Masters Wily steals 4 more from a Robot Museum and sets them loose. After beating 4 more Robot Masters ou go catch Wily. Basic Mega Man stuff.
11/20

Graphics
Being 16 bit, the game has more background layers and animation to it that make it look great by Super Nintendo standards. The sprites are a bit too large though but thats not a huge deal.
18/20

Gameplay/Controls
Same old same old. The new stuff in this one is the Super Adaptor and Rush Search. Rsh Search lets you dig in certain places to find secrets hidden underground. Not that useful overall. In the 4 stages you can find the letters R, U, S, and H and if you collect them all you get the Super Adaptor. That is a combination of the 2 Adaptors from the previous game. You can fly like in the last game and punch., Still cant slide though. You can use them to find other Rush abilities like Rush Jet and secret Bolts (Ill get to bolts in a sec) i dont see why they added Rush Jet when the Adaptor is a million times better but whatever. If you press select on the robot master select screen (Thanks for not telling me this in game you fucking dick) you can enter a shop where you can spend bolts on items and upgrades. These can range from Extra Lives and E Tanks to buying Beat The bird and stuff. Later in the game theres a Hyper-Bolt that cuts the cost of items in half. You can only carry 4 E-Tanks in this game, which is odd but whatever. It doesnt matter anyways because the game is easy as fuck...mostly but ill rage about that later. When you get your first weapon the other robot masters fall like dominoes. When you hit a master with its weakness its pattern resets so you cna get them into a lock easilly here. The game really loves Mini bosses for some reason, theres a ton of them here. The game has a lot of alternate paths and secrets too, which is fine for the explorative type. But sometimes they expect you to go through walls you cant tell you could go through. In secret rooms you can find Protoman and if you find all of them you can fight protoman for his shield. It doesnt help much, but its still cool. You can either buy Upgrades or find them and i really like that. It rewards the explorative type btu doesnt punish the people who just wnat to get through the game. When it comes to controls and feel, Mega Man feels the same as before usually. The weapons are much better than others but nothing amazing. Its time for another round at Wily's fortress. After each stage you can buy new stuff and your energy is refilled so its easier. FUCK THE FINAL BOSS. IT CAN GO FUCK ITSELF. The first form is okay BUT THE SECOND FORM FUCKING SUCKS. Its immune to everything except Spring Man's weapon and that weapon does ONE damage. if you run out of ammo YOU ARE FUCKED. If you dont have a Weapon Tank YOU ARE FUCKED. If you die YOU ARE FUCKED. It can be done with enough patience and enough E-Tanks but its still fucking horribly designed. Other than that, the gameplay is fine.
Gameplay - 15/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
The entire soundtrack is.....meh. Not horrible but not great. Its somewhere in the middle.
13/20

Overall
An overall fun expirience.
72/100

Next up is Mega Man 8...huh?....Mega Man and Bass? That game doesnt exist, silly.

Umbreon
08-30-2014, 10:59 PM
After a delay due to sickness, depression, my internet going out for a day, me being on no sleep and passing out today, and probably a billion other not really good reasons, its time for Mega Man 8! Something i should note before we begin was that i was going to buy a copy of the game for the Sega Saturn on Amazon for the review but then....

http://i.imgur.com/ZfAyK5J.png

I proceeded to say FUCK THIS and just played the PS1 version on an emulator since my PS1 broke recently. Rip in peace PlayStation 1 (1998-2014) ;n;

http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110426065024/megaman/images/thumb/1/1b/Mm8promo.jpg/270px-Mm8promo.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Sony and Sega
Release Date - February 28th, 1996


Story
The game is on the Playstation so...Anime cutscenes!...with some of the worst voice acting ever! I have seen 4Kids dubs with better voice acting than this. Mega Man sounds more like a girl than Roll does, Wily sounds like Elmer Fudd, Roll is British for some reason, Everyone sounds like they are recording their lines in their bedrooms at their parents house at 2 AM while half asleep and not trying to wake their parents up, and Bass is Australlian..odd..choice but...whatever. The animation in these cutscenes is your basic 90's Anime fare. Anyways, on with the story. Two creatures are battling one another in deep space. After a few seconds of fighting the Purple being falls and lands on Planet Earth with the blue one chasing him. Meanwhile, Mega Man and Bass are fighting with each other. While that is happening, Wily escapes and heads to an island in the shape of a skull. Mega Man gives chase after defeating Bass (Yay Rhyming) and finds that Wily has stolen a...uh....i dont know what it is its like never explained but..its important..or somethin, idunno. Mega Man notices a destroyed Robot in the crater and sends it to Dr. light to get repaired. While giving chase, Mega Man comes across 4 more Robot Masters (And then 4 more after that obviously). They come the fuck out of nowhere with no explination or backstory. its POINTLESS for Mega Man to fight these guys, its pointless for them to even exist. After defeating the 4 Robot Masters, Mega Man colelcts soemthing called Evil Energy (Yes, that is what its called. I shit you not). The robot Wily was repairing soon awakens and seeing that the robot he was battling is still alive due to the evil energy, he gets pissed and storms off with Mega Man giving chase. Soon they fight but protoman stops them from killing eachother. The robot escapes and protoman tells mega Man the robot must be headed for Wily's base to kill him. Mega Man chases him but gets attacked and is soon saved by the mysterious robot who reveals himself to be named D.U.O. He was created centuries ago to stop the Evil Energy from spreading. He tells Mega Man that they need to destroy the evil energy before Wily uses it as it is said to hold power no human can contain. However, Wily's tower is guarded so mega Man must defeat 4 more Robot Masters to get in. After defeating Wily, Mega Man is hit with a Dark Energy. D.U.O comes to absorb the energy and save Mega Man, thanks the Blue Bomber for his help, and goes away.
13/20

Graphics
The game is a major step up from the last one (Obviously) The animation is more fluent, the graphics are more colorful and detailed and the screen is zoomed out enough to not be noticable. Its a fine looking PS1 game. Fun fact, Capcom wanted to make the game for PS1 but Sony said no because they dont want 2D games on their system. Capcom then proceeded to say "If you dont let us, we wont make Resident Evil 2 for the PS1" to which sony replied with a "You win" and let them make the game anyways.
17/20

Gameplay/Controls
The game is the same as the others. 8 Robot Masters blah blah blah Wily Fortress blah blah blah Save The World blah blah blah Shitty Cutscenes. The only major difference is Mega Man can swim in water levels. This is the only game he can do this is and i wonde rwhy they didnt do this ebfore or do this again but...whatever. Other than that, you can now shoot your regular buster while you have a weapon equipepd so you dont have to constantly change and that was an updated we needed 3 games ago. The gameplay and environments are mroe varied here. new challenges in every level and such. Tengu Man has a bleh flying section, for example. The game keeps things fresh without changing the formula to much, which is something i love, but the level design just isnt as good as before. More than ever there is an emphasis on using your weapons to get through areas and they fucking suck otherwise. The Soccer Weapon that gives you a double jump and the Flash Bomb are the only non situational ones. Bolts are nowhere near as plentiful as before, there are exactly 40 in the game. No more, no less. Some of them are bullshit to get to so youll probably only get like 20-30 maybe. The game throws checkpoints at you like theres no tomorrow and when you die everything is refilled. Game Overs do nothing too. In the shop you can buy upgrades like No Knock Back (THANK GOD), Doing more damage (Fuck yeah!) and the ever so useless: Climb Ladders a Bit Faster!..seriously who the fuck would ever buy that?...its pointless...anyways...Rush is back but not as useful as in 7. Scratch that, they are USELESS. Rush Bike is pointless, Rush Question gives you a random item but its useless half the time. The only one thats useful is the one that gives you free energy. The game has NO E-Tanks. NONE. So this is the only reliable way of healing yourself. The main problem with the game is the difficulty. The game is way too fucking easy. It fully heals you every 2 seconds, Game Overs are pointless, Checkpoints are everywhere, and The Bosses are piss easy. The second half of the game drags. Its really boring. Swords Man stage is fine but the others just seem bland. Astor Man's stage is a boring maze and Aqua Man (Yes they did that. And hes a gay stereotype too so..it fits as an omage to Aquaman perfectly. Also, apparently DC wanted to sue Mega Man but since their character is Aqua Man and not Aquaman, Capcom got away with it, or so im told). stage has a boring boss that drags and a slow swimming section. In due time, Mega Man soon gets to Wily's Castle. Wily's Tower is easy and boring. Bass' fight is boring as fuck too and the Green Devil is too easy. The Final boss is a tad hard but not as bad as 7. Controls are once again, te same as before.
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
its okay i guess. Not much to say.
10/20

Overall
Mega Man 8 is lackluster compared to the older games. Its not...bad though. The game looks great, the soundtrack is good, and the voice acting is nice to make fun of. Its just..to easy and bland. Its on level with Mega Man 5 for me. it looks and sounds great but the gameplay is bleh. Proof that graphics and music a good game doesnt make.
67/100

Now for Mega Man 9 and 10 and i can be done with this!..huh?..Mega Man and Bass? uh....i dont own a SNES at the moment so i cant. GBA Port and Emulation? Fuck....uh....sigh...fine. next up is Mega Man and Bass

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100822030323/megaman/images/thumb/7/79/RMFJpSFamiCoverPromo.jpg/270px-RMFJpSFamiCoverPromo.jpg

*Goes to cry in corner, scared to play this*

rangernumberx
08-31-2014, 05:01 PM
Are you also going to be doing the Game Boy Mega Man games?

Umbreon
08-31-2014, 05:03 PM
Are you also going to be doing the Game Boy Mega Man games?

I might at some point, havent polayed those in years but since im doing 12 Mega Man games in a row, im not gonna cover them yet but i will at some point.

Umbreon
08-31-2014, 08:12 PM
Because depression, the review of Mega Man and Bass is delayed until tonight (No its not because i hate that game)

Umbreon
09-01-2014, 04:52 PM
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100822030323/megaman/images/thumb/7/79/RMFJpSFamiCoverPromo.jpg/270px-RMFJpSFamiCoverPromo.jpg
Developed By - A bunch of SADISTIC FUCKHEADS...imean...IDIOTS...imean.....Capcom
Published By - Some guy who was high and didnt notice how bullshit and badly designed this game is...imean...Nintendo..
Release Date - April 24,th 1998

FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME
FUCK
THIS
GAME
PGUORHGCUJNGCOGWJK

ugh....I have a personal hatred for this game...ill explain why later but...ugh...this is.....THE WORST MEGA MAN GAME..er....mega man and bass i guess.....history time. ..in 1998, Capcom felt bad that Mega Man 8 was out for PS1 and was afraid people didnt have PS1's (In 1998..) and made a game for the SNES. The game was never released in America. But then, in 2004, Mega Man and Bass was ported to the GBA...AND IT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT...anyways....im gonna be looking at a Fan Translation of the original SNES game and then mention the GBA port every once and a while....lets get this over with..this..is Mega Man and Bass....*Cries*

Story
A robot named King has made a decleration that Robots are better and wiser than humans so they should be the ones in charge. To try and take over the world (OF COURSE!) he kicks Wily out of his tower/castle/fortress/whatever and takes over his army. If you are playing as Mega Man, you are trying to stop King from taking over the world with his army of robots and if you play as Bass you are trying to get Wilt's castle back for him. After defeating King, he states his creator is Dr. Wily. So let me get this straight, Wily created a robot so he can get kicked out of his castle by the robot only to reveal he has been in control the entire time...why....? After upgrading King, you must fight him again and after beating him, the castle explodes, killing King.
8/20

Graphics
The game looks similar to Mega Man 8 and for Super Nintendo, thats amazing. Basically the same exact thing as the PS1 version (though textures are a bit lower resolution for obvious reasons) and the graphics are probably the best part of the game.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
When you start the game you can choose between Mega Man or Bass. Mega Man is pretty much the same as he is in 8, same moveset, same abilities, same cotnrols, everything. He feels pretty much the same as he always did. AND DONT YOU FUCKING DARE CHOOSE THIS FUCKER...ill explain why soon...Bass cannot charge his gun or slide but can shoot in all 8 directions, has a double jump, and he can dash. He's pretty much the same as Mega Man X is but can shoot in all 8 directions (Yes i will get to the X games at some point but not now, im getting Mega Manned out..) The first boss in the game is a Green Devil but it isnt nearly as bad as it was in the other games, so you should have no problem taking it out. After beating the intro stage you are given an option of 3 (Yes 3) Robot Masters, which is weird. You cant beat the game without taking them all out anyways so why limit us? You can choose from Cold Man, Ground Man and Astro Man (Making a return from Mega Man 8). In levels you can find CDs hidden in stages that unlock bonus material like cards detailing every robot (and some are actually funny/clever, like Cutman being afraid of Rocks and loving Arts and Crafts because he is a pair of scizzors basically and Elecman hating Rubber but loving Metal Poles because Electricity) they arent mandatory or anything but they are kind of neat to look at and read. Like before, you can visit a shop in between stages and buy items and abilities AND YOU FUCKING NEED THESE ABILITIES AS SOON AS FUCKING POSSIBLE. Is Mega Man 1 too difficult? YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING YET. This is one of the most unfair absolute bullshit games i have ever played in my entiere life (And i have played bullshit like Mega Man 1 and Zelda 2). This game will tempt you to break everything around you in a 100 foot radius out of sheer rage. The type of bullshit that you have to deal with is so unfair. Every Mega Man game has had at least 1 or 2 Robot Masters that were easy to take out, y'know for new comers and so players can be eased into the game. NOT THIS TIME. Every, EVERY, Robot Master is completely unfair. Their patters are so fast and random you cant tell when you can dodge half the shit they do and they do so much damage.The only robot master you will have a chance of beating first is Cold Man. The fight takes fucking forever because you do ONE DAMAGE PER HIT to him but...he is easy enough to dodge...Every other fucking Robot Master is a deathwish. They ALL either hit hard, are annoying to hit, have bullshit strategies, or a combination of them. Also, NO ENERGY TANKS. NONE WHATSOEVER. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? Mega Man can heal due to Eddy but...Bass doesnt have anything like that...His upgrades are cool yeah, buit he has NO way of healing himself..no E Tanks no Eddy no Rush, nothing...No Weapon Tanks either. So you lost all the ammo to the Master's weakness? That boss got a million times harder now! Can you just die and get your shit refilled? NOP! If you die on a boss, you respawn at the boss! With no refills!...yaaaaay.....hope you like doing the same level over and over AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE AND YOU WANT TO KILL EVERYTHING AND SADJICIEWHEIGBIHKBNKbnfpbih....speaking of levels, WHAT SADISTIC FUCKNUIT DESIGNED THESE FUCKING THINGS? there asre bullshit things you cant dodge, Pixel perfect jumps, cheap enemy placement, and it never fuicking stops..bullshit every 2 fucking seconds in every single level. And to make things worse, these levels were designed with Bass in mind and not Mega Man so if you EVER play as Mega Man you are FUCKED. The shit they make you go through with Bass is fucking brutal and bullshit and unfair but with Mega Man its ten times worse. Mega Man doesnt have the mobility Bass does, no double jumps or dashes or anything. Mega Man doesnt even have Rush Adaptors...he has nothing. Playing as Mega Man has bullshit moments where you barely get through a platforming section, pixel perfect jumps, leaps of faith, and dick enemy placement right above you that you cant take out because you cant shoot up like Bass can! NEVER PLAY AS MEGA MAN. EVER. The reappearing disappearing blocks have always been annoying but you always had a way of bypassing and skipping them, NOT HERE. And the timing on these fucking things is strict. you HAVE to be perfect or you fall. and the starting block is OVER SPIKES so if you fuck up, you die...thats fucking unfair....After you beat the robot masters and you have broken 6 controllers or 6 gameboys out of sheer rage, you get to King's Foretress and they are EVEN WORSE. I have played bullshit games before, Zelda 2, Mario 2, Ninja Gaiden, Ninja Turtles, Donkey Kong Country Returns, ect. but i have NEVER been THIS pissed off over a set of 3 levels in a row this may be the most bullshit thing i have ever seen in a game. Challenge is fine but MAKE IT FAIR. The first one isnt THAT bad (Compared to the others anyways). It has dickish jumps and dick eney placement but you SHOULD be fine here....The Boss here can go fuck himself. His projectiles are speratic and hard to dodge and you have to stand on a platform and keep jumping to keep it from dipping in lava. When you kill the boss jump off that damn platform because the game designers thought it would be a fun idea to make the platform DISAPPEAR WHEN YOU KILL THE BOSS AND KILL YOU. Thanks, assholes...ugh...Kings Fortress 2...*cries*...ugh...this stage is broken into 3 segments so it takes fucking forever to get through and a game over MAKES YOU DO THE FIRST SEGMENT AGAIN. This level takes like 20 minutes to get through (Maybe more, depending on your skills) and if you get 18 minutes in and get a game over FUCK YOU! GO BACK! This level has FOUR BOSSES and each are more bullshit than the last, ..especially the tank. FUCK THAT THING. I have never been so bored and angry at the same time before in my life...it takes FOREVER to take down even with its weakness and it hits fucking hard. Then you have the spaceship boss. FUCK THIS GUY TOO. This may be the worst boss i have ever seen in a Mega Man game. If you are playing as Bass, he isnt THAT bad but if Mega Man...FUCK HIM. Lets run down the resons this guy is bullshit. 1.) You are constantly on platforms that constantly fall having to jump in time to escape death. 2.) A fist attack the robot does that breaks the platform you are on in seconds. 3.) Missles shooting at you from all directions. 4.) A flash bang attack that makes the screen flash white for a few seconds that blinds you and leaves you easilly able to die since you cant see. 5.) THAT FUCKING FIST ATTACK IS THE MOST BULLSHIT THING OMFG. The ONLY way you are going to win this is by dumb luck. You better fucking hope this fucker doesnt do the fist attack much ro YOU ARE FUCKED. Then, if, IF you beat that fucker THE STAGE KEEPS GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND MAY I REMIND YOU IF YOU GET A GAME OVER YOU HAVE TO DO ALL THER BOSSES IN THIS STAGE AGAIN. After breaking your TV and having to buy a new one 12 times, you fight King and he is easy with either character since his weakness takes off so much health. And then you beat King and have ANOTHER Bossfight. this isnt that bad but, again, get a game over and you START ALL OVER AGAIN. And then you beat him and you STILL have another level to go through thats a slugfest of bullshit after bullshit after bullshit and it never fucking stops...The level has a Boss Rush, another Boss, bullshit platforming segments, bullshit enemy placement, bottomless pits galore, AND a final boss. FUCK THIS LEVEL. Might i remind you this is all one ONE SET OF LIVES WITH NO E TANKS OR WEAPON TANKS AND NO WAY OF HEALING YOURSELF?! The final boss is fucking bullshit. he does so much damage and is so fast and you have no way of healing yourself. As Mega Man, Eddy CAN help you or be a dick and give you little pellets of energy and if you die after using him, you cant use him again! Fun, isnt it!?!?!?!?! THIS GAME IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! oh..and it doesnt stop there. The GBA port has SOME OF THE WORST SCREEN CRUNCH I HAVE EVER FUCKIGN SEEN. THIS IS SONIC GENESIS LEVELS BAD, PEOPLE. YES, I FUCKING COMPARED IT TO SONIC GENESIS...the controls are the same as Mega Man 7 but its slippery as fuck sometimes and the pixel prefect jumps make it hard to time jumps so its actually worse than 7/
Gameplay - 9/20
Controls - 9/20

Music
Its okay but nothing special.
11/20

Overall
THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS. IT IS ONE OF THE WORST DESIGNED MOST CHEAP FUCKING THINGS I HAVE EVER FUCKING PLAYED. IMAGINE GETTING THIS WHEN YOU WERE LIKE 10 AS A CHRISTMAS RPESENT AND PLAYING THIS SHIT. STAY THE FUCK AWAY. AVOID IT LIKE THE PLAGUE. NEVER BUY, NEVER PLAY UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE PISSED OFF..ugh..this isnt the worst thing i have ever played, far from it, but it is one of, if not THE hardest games i have EVER played in my entire fucking life. its not even a fair challenge its just painful...so very very painful...I AM NEVER TOUCHING THIS FUCKING GAME EVER AGAIN.
54/100

Now if you excuse me, im going to go kill something out of sheer rage....next up is Mega Man 9 i guess...ugh....

Umbreon
09-02-2014, 02:32 AM
Finally at the end of our marathon and...i just gotta say this was kinda tiring. Im sort of Mega Man'd out and this is the last time ill probably tackle these games for a while. Also i should mention that there is a Mega Man 7 and 8 8-Bit version you can play online, they arent really worth mentioning but i thought id mention them anyways, I should also mention Mega Man has a shit ton of spin offs im never reviewing like:

Mega Man Zero Series (Bullshit)
Mega Man Battle Network - (Boring)
Mega Man ZX - (Bland and clunky)
Mega Man Soccer - (A shitty soccer game with a mega man skin)
Mega Man Starforce - (Never played it)
Mega Man 64 (FUCK THIS GAME)
Mega Man X Street Fighter (...what...)

among others...i will look at the X series (The first 6 at least) At some point and the GBC games at some point but those are for a different day.Thanks for being patient with me, depressions been making it hard to get out reviews on a dialy basis. I wanted the marathon done by the end of the month but that obviously didnt happen. Also, stuff like Mega Man and Bass and stuff took longer than expected because fuck that game. Anyways, yeah. Thanks for being patient. As i said in the leaving thread, this may be my last reviews for a while on a schedule. ill still do reviews but they wont be as often and ill try to get some out every 1-2 days but there may be days i mis a deadline or whatever. I think iv'e rambled off enough ...now time to ramble about history! From the years 1998-2009 Mega Man was nowhere to be seen. The X series had a few games and there was a spinoff every once and a while but the classic Mega Man was nowhere to be seen. Then, in 2009, Capcom announced Mega Man 9 and people were hyped. Was the hype deserving? lets see.

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091214044541/megaman/images/thumb/2/22/Mm9_boxart.jpg/270px-Mm9_boxart.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft
Release Date - September 22nd, 2008

Story
We start with the same NES game type thing we'r all used to at this point. Say it with me, Robots are wreacking havok all over the world and everyone thinks Dr. Wily is behind it all. However, Doctor Wily goes on TV and states that Doctor Light is the one who created the robots and is trying to take over the world. Everyone believes him due to the fact that he has a voice recording of him saying this and the robots were proven to be created by Light and Light is arrested. Wily did it, we all know he did so they shouldnt even fucking try anymore at this point. How did Wily get the robots to wreak havoc? All of them are past their expiration dated (Which begs the question, if these robots have personalities and stuff and have expiration dates, wouldnt the robots have revolted a while ago?...whatever) Wily convinces them that he can repair them by putting a special chip in their skulls (Do robots even have skulls?...whatever) and they agree only to find out Wily's chip makes them obey Wily's every command. Its interesting but they do nothing with it, if this was an X game they would have gone into much more detail about this..but since this is classic Mega Man, they dont.
11/20

Graphics
The game looks like an NES game, which is fine. I like the idea, Classic Mega Man spent most of its time in the NES so it fits the series. I prefer this over them doing new graphics. This was during the wave of retro style games (Is that still a thing or..?) Some people may not like the look of the game seeing as its a step backwards and Mega Man 7 and 8 and Mega Man and Bass (*Shudders*) tried making the games look great due to advancements in technology, btu as for me, i like this style. Why did they choose this style? Well Inafune (Or however its spelled) stated that he loves the idea of playing classic games on the Virtual Console and decided to make it in the style. Not just 8-Bit but heavilly borrowing style and enemies from Mega Man 1 and 2.
15/20

Gameplay/Controls
Pretty much the same as Mega Man 2. So no slide, no charge shot, nothing. Just the way he was in Mega Man 2. Like always, you can do the 8 Robot Masters in any order you want and theres a woman in there this time. Why the fuck did it take them NINE games to add a female? Anyways, i usually go with Galaxy Man first. He is easy enough to do with just our buster and The Black Hole Bomb, his weapon, is really helpful for taking out annoying enemies. In addition, its the weakness of Jewel Man, who gives off Jewel Satellite which is by far one of, if not the, best shield weapon in the series. It destroys small enemies just by touching them and unless you are hit by soemthing big, it never goes away until you leave the screen. Mega Man 9 may be the best when it coms to weapons. None are overpowered but all are useful in some way. The laser Trident pierces shields, The plug Ball is a faster Search Snake and makes grounded enemies easier, The Tornado weapon is rgeat for mini bosses, The Magma Bazooka shoots 3 shots so it takes out a lot at once, and The hornet Chaser is perfect for long range fights. Screws are back and so is the shop and its pretty much the same as always. E Tanks make their return, Fuck yeah! And they are cheap too so you can grind and buy a ton of them. The other items help too. Theres one that cuts your damage in half for 1 stage that can be really helpful. Rush Jet and Coil are back once again and they help a lot. When it comes to challenge, Mega Man 9 is middle of the road. Its not too hard like Mega Man and Bass but not too easy like Mega Man 8. Its challenging, but fun. This is out of nowhere but there is an option to turn on sprite flicker. Why the fuck would you want to turn that on? Iv'e...never seen a game with that option before....its weird. Anyways, after beating the Robot Masters, you go fight Wily for the 10th time!....wow...this is the tenth time iv'e fought this fucker in a week and a half. Anyways, the beginning of Wily 1 is annoying sicne it requires a specific weapon, Then there is a jump in Wily 2 that can go fuck itself. ts nearly pixel perfect because the ceiling is so low. Other than that, its your basic stuff. The final fight with Wily is annoying as fuck but not hard. Bouncing the egg bomb back at him can be annoying. The controls are...huh? Forgetting something?.......what..? I talked about the bosses, the levels and design what else is there? DLC? fine...if you pay 2 dollars you can play as Protoman. He has access to the charge shot and the slide, which is great and he can even block some bullets. But then you realize he takes twice the damage and has double the the knockback. Some bosses can take out 75% of your health in 1 hit. if Mega Man 9 wasnt hard enough for you, play as protoman.
Gameplay - 15/20
Controls - 16/20

Music
The soundtrack is (y). Not amazing but pretty damn good.
14/20

Overall
Its quite the fine game if i do say so myself. Its rpetty gud.
71/100






Finally time for the final game!

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100430071041/megaman/images/thumb/4/4e/Updcover.png/240px-Updcover.png
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony
Release Date - March 2010

Story
A disastorous plague so TOTALLY not caused by Wily, why would you EVER think that? called Roboenza (Yes, they went there) is causing Robots to turn Evil. Wily comes to Mega Man and tells him he was kicked out of his castle when his robot masters caught the disease and gives Mega Man Pills (How the FUCK do pills work on a Robot?!) that will cure the robots and Mega Man has to give each robot master the pill to save them. Among the infected is Roll. As soon as you start your journey, Protoman comes out of nowhere and asks Mega Man if he can help. Mega Man agrees and they both team up to save the day! And Remember: Its SOOOOOOOOO totally not Wily i swear. I mean, why woudl you ever think Wily was behind all this? Pssh....you must be crazy...okay fine ill cut out the bullshit. Wily made the virus and is only giving the cure to robots that swear their allegiance to him.
11/20

Graphics
The same as 9. So...yea.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
Mega Man and protoman play similar to they did in 9. And you can buy Bass for DLC. He can shoot in any direction, dash, and fly with his Suepr Adaptor. We are ELEVEN games into these reviews and....there just isnt much to say anymore. Not mch was changed from 9 to 10. The graphics, controls and gameplay are pretty much identical to each other. Mega Man still has no slide or charge shot, Protoman can be played from the start and is identical to how he was in 9, and Bass is worth every penny of the DLC (BUY HIM) The game also adds features (They were in 9 too but im discussing it here) like a Time Attack mode and a special mode where you go from room to room. The creators of Mega Man actually stated they hid a secret in Mega Man 10 that nobody has discovered yet to this day. They are probably bullshitting us, but whatever. They are DLC though so yea. Mega Man 10 adds a difficulty select that Pissed people off for some reason. Dont wanna play easy? Fine, then play hard. its not like its forcing you or anything. I actually like the addition, it helps newer fans out getting used to the game. Be careful, Easy will spoil the fuck out of new players. I didnt mention this in my Mega Man 1 review but there were items called..oh fuck how do i spell that...uh...Aisaishee? or something like that that you get once that fully heals your weapon and life. All of it. Easy Mode throws these fuckers at you every 2 seconds and it makes the game too fucking easy. Theres easy, then theres this. I reccomend having newcomers play Normal and not Easy. Hard Mode's challenge is like a rollercoaster. Sometimes its easy, sometimes its unfair. The difficulty is all over the place and not consistant at all. Strike Man's stage wont stop shooting shit at you and Commando Man's stage gimmick is annoying as fuck. Sheep Man's stage, however, is easy. It keeps changing in terms of difficulty. The end stages are jsut...there. They arent hard or anything but i love the fight with the Weapons Archive System which uses weapons from previous games. The crab boss is bland, the boss rush is your basic stuff., and the final boss is pretty easy.
Gameplay - 13/20
Controls - 16/20

Music
Its okay.
12/20

Overall
Its just another Mega Man game. Its nto amazing, but its not horrible or anything. it just...exists.
68/100

And thats it, all the classic Mega Man games. Ah, Mega Man. He pretty much is dead right now because Capcom hates everything not named Street Fighter or Resident Evil. They keep canceling games. Legends 3? CANCELED! Mega Man Universe? CANCLED! Mega Man Maverick Hunter? CANCELED! Mega Man Online? CANCELED! His future doesnt seem that bleak, him being in the next smash bros shows how much people love the guy..er...robot and hopefully will get a Mega Man game made soon. Plus, the existance of Mighty Number 09 will hopefully make Capcom want to make another game. Fans are still hoping for SOMETHING NEW. Idunno maybe Nintendo can buy the IP or soemthing. As for the series as a whole, i highly reccomend it (Besides Mega Man and Bass. FUCK THAT GAME!!!!!). But id personally skip 1 and go to 2. 2 isnt too hard but is hard enough to get players used to Mega Man. Phew...12 games in a row, 1-10, Wily Wars, and Mega Mana nd Bass....remind me to NEVER do another month this big again this took a lot out of me ;-; hopefully this got some of you guys into Mega Man. thats what i was going for, i was hoping more people can be interested in Mega Man so Capcom can get off their lazy ass and make another one. Anyways, see you guys next time for soemthing really simple i guess.

Turtlesauce
09-02-2014, 03:46 AM
I learned more about Mega Man now than I did in a lifetime

Umbreon
09-02-2014, 04:48 PM
have friends that say that graphics are the main thing that matters in a game. They wont play any game older than around 2011because any game thats non HD is shit apparently. I told them they were missing out on games like the Mega Man games, Ratchet and Clank 2, The Spyro games, the Crash games, the DKC games, ect. and they said those games are shit because they are not in HD and dont use new age graphics. That got me to thinking, do graphics really matter? If the graphics are bad does that make a game bad? I think not. Bad graphics dont mean anything. look at this screenshot of Ape Escape 1 on PS1

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/WGJK4wvmM_I/hqdefault.jpg

The game looks like shit, even by PS1 standards. The models are too polygonal, the animation is bare, the characters dont have fingers, the models are pixelated, and the game looks like shit overall. But it plays fine. the controls are unique, the gameplay is fun and unique, the environments may not look nice but the level design is well done. Very well done. The draw distance is fine, and the game runs smoothly. It has bad graphics, really bad graphics, but it is still a great game in my opinion because the game plays well. While in contrast lets look at Superman 64

http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/0/5363/273935-n64superman64_06.jpg

This game also looks like shit. The same problems as Ape Escape mostly. Shitty textures, Pixelated models, Little to no animation, the environments look horrible, and the game just looks horrible. So why is this shit and not Ape Escape? The bad graphics get in the way. because the graphics are so shit the draw distance is horrible and they models are so little detailed that glitches occur. The environments look all similar to each other so its easy to get lost. This makes the game shit because of the graphics. Graphics do not matter to me unless they get in the way. In the case of Ape Escape, it looks like shit but the game is still fine because the bad graphics dont cause any real issues. The game still plays fine. On the other hand, things like Superman 64 with shit graphics dont work because the bad graphics get in the way. The thing that matters in a game are not graphics, its gameplay and controls. If your game looks AMAZING and has shit gameplay then it sucks. But if your game has great gameplay and shit graphics, its still a good game. See what i mean?As for Story, that doesnt really matter much either, in most circumstances. Mario, for example, has a shit story. its as basic as you can get. Monster steals girl, get girl back. People bash Mario all the time for having too simple of a story and i keep seeing friends hate Mario because the story isnt deep. Heres the thing, mario isnt SUPPOSED to have a story. On the other hand, if something like Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or Chrono Trigger had a shit storyline, itd be forgiven less because its SUPPOSED to have a well written story. You see what i mean? Stuff like RPG's and games like that may need a decent enough story to work well. otherwise people are just gonna skip all the text and cutscenes in your game. But stuff like platformers and puzzle games dont need a complex or interesting story because they arent needed and they arent supposed to have one. So, overall, Graphics dont matter unless they get in the way and story doesnt matter unless the series or genre is known for having complex or interesting stories. or at least thats how i see it.

Turtlesauce
09-02-2014, 04:53 PM
I couldn't agree more, well said

Umbreon
09-04-2014, 03:50 PM
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100619101650/sonic/images/thumb/e/e5/Sonic_Next_Gen.jpg/242px-Sonic_Next_Gen.jpg
Developed By - Sonic Team
Published By - Sega
Release Date - November 14th, 2006

As you guys know i already reviewd this game twice. I feel that even with 2 reviews i didnt say all i had to say about this..thing. So here's my third and final review. This is the review that took me the most time to write and due to computer failures i lost the original review and had to redo it. in total id say this review took me 3-4 hours to write. Or at least around that. Without further delay, lets do this. this....."game"....is the. WORST. GAME. EVER. MADE.its so bad and this is so long i have to split it into 2 parts so yeah.

Story
Years in the future, the Apocolypse happened. Cities are destroyed and the world is pretty much a crater. We open on Silver and Blaze The Cat fighting off a demonic creature named Iblis. They manage to defeat him. They soon run into a Hedgehog named Mephillis. Mephillis explains that the destruction of the world is due to a creature named Sonic. Silver believes this...for some reason...and demands to be sent back in time to kill Sonic. Meanwhile, in the past, At an event in a city called Soliana, A Princess named Elise is being crowned. Before she can get crowned, Eggman comes the fuck out of nowhere and kidnaps her. Then Sonic comes the fuck out of nowhere and chases eggman, who leaves Sonic to fight his Mechs. Instead of doing the smart thing and, i dont know, chase them imediatly, Sonic waits until the next day because he's a fucking moron. The next day he meets up with Tails...odd..coincidence but whatever...Instead of doing the smart thing and using the Tornado to get there, the 2 dumbasses go to a beach in hopes of catching a Carrier high in the sky on foot....okay you see the problem so far? EVERYONE IS A FUCKING MORON! anyways...Sonic and Tails, obviously, fail miserably and go back to Soliana (Dont you just LOVE it when a level has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT?!) The guards there tell them Elise is being hld captive in the Desert....how they know this, i dont know. Why they dont try to sop Eggman themselves, i dont know. Eventually Sonic manages to save Elise from the desert. She proceeds to explain that 10 years ago, Soliana was almost destroyed by the wrath of their god, Solaris. Solaris' power is stored in something called the Flames of Disaster, which Eggman wants to use to destoy the world. Yeah, Soiana holds a celebration every year so the god they worship doesnt wipe them off the map. Because THATS what we ALL want in our game about Anthropomorphic Blue Hedgehogs, Civilizations that worship demons. Fuck you, Sonic Team...As soon as Sonic and Elise make it back to Soliana a mysterious Hedgehog named Silver arrives and says he wants to kill Sonic. During their fight, Elise is captured again by Eggman. Sonic, chasing Eggman, gets blasted in the back by Silver. Before Silver is able to kill Sonic, Amy comes the FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE and saves Sonic. Seeing Amy save Sonic makes Silver wonder if killing someone for a better future is the right thing to do. Blaze gives an answer that can be summed up as "Idunno" Silver continues his hunt for Sonic. Yeah, just Silver. Because Blaze does NOTHING in this story. NOTHING AT ALL. She is pointless and should have not been here. And not only that, this story shits on her already established Canon that she came from a different dimension, NOT THE FUTURE. ugh...Sonic and Tails meet up with Knuckles, who gives Sonic a message from Eggman who tels them Elise is being heled at White Acropolys and will release her for all of Sonic's Chaos Emeralds. I assume at this point Knuckles gives no fucks about the Master Emerald seeing as he ISNT FUCKING GUARDING IT. Tails warns Sonic that this is probably a trap but he says Fuck it and goes anyways. Meanwhile,Shadow tries to storm Eggman's base to try to save Rogue, who was captured. Who sent him on this mission. G.U.N. Yeah, the people that TRIED TO DESTROY HIM NOT EVEN 2 GAMES AGO IS EMPLOYING THE FUCKER NOW. Meanwhile, Amy helps Elise escape the base. The second she gets free she gets caught again. So....this scene was ENTIRELY FUCKING POINTLESS. Rogue found an ancient artifact called the Scepter of Darkness. Shadow then escorts Rogue to Kingdom Valley. Eggman chases them and demands they give him the Scepter. After a fight, the scepter is dropped and shatters (Ancient god technololgy: Shatters when dropped not that far off the ground. Beautiful.) This releases a dark Shadow that takes over Shadow's Shadow and the Shadow Gives Shadow's Shadow a living form named Mephillis. Yeah, the guy from the beginning. He then sends them top the future. Meanwhile. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles arrive at the Base and Eggman captures them and sends them into the future. This sends them to the post apocaplypse that Silver is from called Crisis City (FUCK THIS PLACE..more on that later...) Luckilly they find Rogue and Shadow. Shadow tells Sonic they need Chaos Emeralds to use Chaos Control and get back. SINCE WHEN DOES CHAOS CONTROL HAVE THIS ABILITY? The group soon manages to find 2 Chaos Emeralds after defeating a form of Iblis that has no purpose in the plot whatsoever. Yay. Sonic and Shadow use their Chaos Control to travel to present day. However, Shadow doesnt go to the present and chases Mephillis. He tries to convince Shadow to be evil but Shadow declines, probably because he had enough of that shit in the last game. Omega, who comes out of NOWHERE, helps Shadow fight him. After his defeat, Mephillis travels to present day. Meanwhile,S onic saves Eilise. AGAIN. But is interupted by Silver. AGAIN. And Elise gets captured. AGAIN. Did ANY OF THE WRITERS SEE HOW REPETITIVE THIS SHIT IS?! Before Sonic can be killed he is saved AGAIN. This time by Shadow. Sonic thanks Shadow and chases Elise for the millionth fucking time in the past 20 minutes. Shadow and Silver fight and they both do Chaos Control at the same time (WHEN ONLY SONIC AND SHADOW CAN DO IT!) and they go through time. AGAIN. They go back in time 10 years to find that the Duke of Soliana (Elise's father) had been doing expiriments on Solaris. Solaris explodes which seperates it into two creatures. The Eternal Flame known as Iblis and The Eternal Shadow known as Mephillis. The Duke, Dying, gives Shadow the Dark Scepter. Shadow manages to capture Mephillis inside the Scepter. I hate time travel stories..ugh...So because of this, Shadow was always supposed to capture Mephillis. One problem, SHADOW WAS FROZEN ON PRISON ISLAND AT THAT TIME. DO YOU NOT READ YOUR FUCKING STORIES? Theres NO WAY he has to be the one whos ealed Mephillis IT MAKES NO LOGICAL SENSE. So what this means is thatS hadow at some point while frozen, Left his chamber, walked millions of miles, sealed Mephillis, walked back, and went back to being frozen. TIME TRAVEL SUCKS. WHY TIME TRAVEL? THATS ONE OF THE HARDEST PLOT POINTS TO DO RIGHT SO WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT?!?!?! We arent even done people :( While Shadow is fighting Mephillis, Silver is fighting Iblis. Why? Because fuck you thats why. The Duke tells Silver that Elise must have the demon sealed inside her. Silver agrees and they seal iblis inside of Elise. Father of the year, people. Lets his daughter have a raging 100000 year old demon inside ehr soul without a second thought. Before dyng, The Duke tells the player directly (Since nobody else is in the room except an unconscience Elise) that if she EVER cries, the demon will be released. So according to this game in TEN YEARS AND AFTER THE DEATH OF HER FATHER AS A KID She has NEVER cried. Not once? BULLSHIT! Does this mean she cant laugh either because of the tears in your eyes when you laugh hard? Can she yawn though her eyes may get watery? THIS IS ONE OF THE WORST PLOT POITNS ANDSHIFDS[NHOESNGJ FUCK THIS GAME..ugh....after they seal the demons Shadow and Silver travel to present day, Before leaving, Silver GIVES ELISE A CHAOS EMERALD and leaves. Meanwhile, Sonic. (He's in this game? I forgot!) escaorts Eilise through a jungle. to her castle where she is captured. AGAIN! PRINCESS PEACH DIDNT GET CAPTURED THIS MUCH YOU FUCKING BITCH. Because everyone in this story is a FUCKING MORON, Sonic gives chase to Elise once more through Kingdom Valley. Silver now knows Sonic is not the iblis Trigger and helps him. Blaze is still nowhere to be found, by the way. Sonic and Silver dont make it because, once again, THEY ARE CHASING A AIRCRAFT ON FOOT. WHY DID THEY THINK THIS WAS GOING TO WORK?! The Egg Carrier breaks down. Why? Because fuck you, thats why. And that kills Elise and Eggman. AND YET IBLIS STILL ISNT RELEASED! So Sonic and Silver go through time again to save Elise. Oh, wait. Sonic wants to go alone. BECAUSE THAT WORKED SO FUCKING WELL THE LAST FEW TIMES DIDNT IT!? Silver AGREES and goes TO HIS OWN TIME PERIOD. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MORONS....ugh....THEY CNA GO TO ANY TIME PERIOD AND THERE ARE A MILLION PLOT HOLES HERE. WHY did Silver agree for Sonic to go alone? Because fuck you. It cant be because they dont want to change the past bcause THEY ALREADY DID THAT LIKE 5 TIMES. There is NO EXCUSE. NONE. ITS JSUT A BUNCH OF FUCKING MORONS. And thats not all, if the future is saved, Silver and Blaze wont exist. If Silver and Blaze never existed the future would not be saved WHICH CREATES A FUCKING PARADOX! Mephillis can time travel too! SO WHY DOESNT HE GO BACK IN TIME AND MERGE WITH IBLIS AGAIN!?!?!?! IT WOULD TAKE SECONDS. SECONDS, AND NOBODY COULD STOP HIM. And even if they DID he can just go back in time again! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHARACTER IS A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT! FUCK THIS GAME! FUCK THIS GOD DAMN GAME! THATS IT IM SUMMARIZING THE GOD DAMN REST OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT. Sonic manages to save Elise in the past. They escape and destroy Eggman's fleet. Meanwhile, in the future, Silver tries to seal Iblis inside him but is Rejected. Blaze FINALLY DOES SOMETHING and seals it in her instead. Why did it accept blaze and not Silver? Because fuck you. Blaze then teleports to another world. Why does she SUDDENLY have this power? Because fuck you. Shadow chases Mephillis, who tries to convince Shadow to join him. Why did he do this knowing it failed the first time ant no character has been changed? BECAUSE FUCK THE MONKEYS WITH COMPUTERS THAT WROTE THIS SHIT. Shadow takes off his bracelets that hold back his full power (Because he has those now apparently) and kills Mephillis. However, mephillis escapes and blins Sonic and then Kills him. Elise cries...wait....this bitch gets captured and tortured...doesnt cry...father dies in front of her as a child...doesnt cry...an anthropomorphic Blue Hedgehog she has known for 2 days dies? Cries. WHAT THE FUCK., Iblis is released and Mephillis gets the chaos emeralds OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE and fuses with iblis, thus sending the world into a time vortex. Where everyone in the world dies except, coincidentaly, our main characters. YAY CONVINIENCE! Silver says that Chaos Emeralds cna revive him because he's only mostly dead. Im not even gonna make a Princess Bride joke here because it isnt fucking worth it. They revive Sonic and he saves the day. So, overall, theres a million plotholes, its repetitive, paradoxes galore, its pretentious as fuck, and horrible written, FUCK THIS STORY. It has one of the most annoyingly confusing storylines i have ever seen in my entire life. There is NO humor (okay..Shadow kicking SIlver in the back of the head is fucking hilarious but still) , NO clever dialogue, NO fun moments, NO charm, NO fun. Sonic has NOTHING to do with this plot. ALL the backstory is told in Silver's and Shadow's story. Sonic doesnt even encounter Mephillis THE MAIN VILLAIN, once. EVERYONE IS A FUCKING MORON. You would have to be mentally INSANE if you enjoy this plot it is THAT BAD. LOOK AT HOW LONG THIS WAS!!! Ugh.......just.....just...just shit...
5/20

Graphics
They wanted to take Sonic into a Photo-Realistic direction. NO. BAD DESSIGNERS! BAD! You do NOT do that! It clashes with the series and it just looks like garbage. Sonics roots have always been cartoony, bright, and colorful. Not dark and edgy and photo realistic. it doesnt fit at all. The environments in almost all the games before this were Whacky and inetresting, the characters werent realistic, and the games still had the cartoony style and charm of the original. Its not supposed to be realistic, so why the fuck would you try to make the game more realistic? The new redesigns of Eggmans robots are horrible looking. They have no charm or clever design they are just generic as hell and look like shit. Its not Sonic. It doesnt fit and is out of place. What happened to the old robots from the classics? Or the Egg Pawns from Heroes and Shadow? I was fine with that, dont make the robots fucking realistic. The cutscenes look nice but then...you see Eggman....WHAT THE FUCK. Okay first off, making him thinner defeats the joke of him looking round like an egg which defeats the purpose of him being Eggman. Second, his nose isnt pink anymore but they kept the nose design just changed the color so it looks out of place, third his eyes are visable and its fucking creepy, fourth they gave him wrinkles and its fucking creepy. Fifth, he has golden nipples on his shirt and its fucking creepy.Sixth, if they want me to take Eggman seriously DONT KEEP HIM IN THE SAME OUTFIT TOO. I cant take this fucker seriously. I dont know how the fuck they did it but he looks fucking ridiculous and serious at the same time. This is wrong on so many levels....WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THIS DESIGN WAS GOOD?! WERE THEY HIGH?! And yet he is THE BEST MODEL IN THE GAME. Princes Elise looks like a retarded pale alien, Her servants have giant forheads thats fucking distracting, the citizens have little to no animation and they look like shit, As for the anthropamorphic characters, they havent changed much but still look like shit. They have better models than the older games but they have no emotion or animation. The environments arent fun or wacky or lively or detailed or anything and its all just a bore to look at. The older sonic games, even the shit ones, had nice environments at least this has NONE of that.
9/20

Umbreon
09-04-2014, 03:51 PM
Part 2 because it wouldnt let me post this review since its 29000+ characters and i apparently cna only have 20000

Gameplay/Controls
Hubworlds are back....and horrible...really horrible. Everything looks the same so theres no way of knowing where you're going or where you've been. Talking to the characters in the hubworld is fucking pointless since none of them have anything interesting to say or anything. I was fine with the Hub World in Adventure 1, but not this. The hubs in adventure 1 have a charm to them, yknow? This game doesnt have that at all. The hub worlds in Adventure 1 were also very fucking small. This was a good thing because you could navigate it easilly. The map you get Suuuuuuucks. It tells you NOTHING. The characetrs here are as little helpful as possible. if you thought Isle Delfino was bad, you aint seen this. These are some of the most poiintless and apathetic characters i have ever seen. NONE of these people care that their Princess has been abducted and none of them tell you anything helpful. Theres a part where they guards wont let you through unless you find out who the Captain is, which turns out to be the VERY FIRST PERSON YOU TALK TO FOR THE MISSION. Why?! WHY?! Why do these fucking idiotic guards NEVER DO ANYTHING. Your world is in fucking danger, millions of lives will be lost, your princess may be dead. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. Alright, so the game follows Sonic Adventure 1's basic formula, Each character you can play as (Silver, Shadow, and Sonic) go through the same overall stages but they're slightly changed to fit each character. Sonic and Shadow control pretty much the same they did in Adventure 1 and 2. They cant hurt enemies by jumping on them. SONIC'S MAIN FORM OF ATTACK IS USELESS. You have to either kick them or homing attack them which makes no fucking sense. Theres a slight delay with each homing attack which makes doing chains boring and tedious as fuck. it ruins any flow you could have and just slows you down. In the other games you can spam the button and go through them quickly not losing the flow but here you do. You have to wait for Sonic or Shadow to recover before you can preform another homing attack. Enemies have health bars. HEALTH BARS. Okay you fucking idiot designers: Sonic Heroes has it to make the Power Characters more useful. Shadow had it so guns were encouraged. THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON THEY SHOULD HAVE HEALTH BARS HERE IT JUST ADDS TEDIOUSNESS. Sonic and Shadow go REALLY slow. Yeah, SONIC AND SHADOW GO SLOW. The only way to get speed is to use dash panels and the TON of scripted events (They are like every 2 fucking seconds omfg) Silver is EVEN SLOWER. In cutscenes we SEE HIM FLY AT SUPER SONIC SPEEDS but he cant do any of that shit in game and is slow as fuck. Silver's main Gimmick is Psychokinesis. In the cutscenes, Silver picks up buildings and cars, makes robots explode, flies, can shoot lasers, and can destory anything with a passing glance. in game? he can....lift boxes and throw them barely doing damage. Oh, he can fly! For 3 seconds...making it...useless...um...yeah he sucks. he has no homing attack so the only way to attack is by throwing shit. Which gets really boring really fast. You can also reflect bullets back at other robots but that gets boring too. Silver can also pick up enemies and throw them but the enemies have to be stunned first. To do this you have to pimp slap them. The range on the slap is so fucking bad the attack is pretty much useless. I like the IDEA behind a psychich character with telekinesis but they needed to fine tune it better. These characters have no weight to them and dont react to the different terain. You dont go slower in shallow water, your character doesnt control any different on a rock terrain, anything. It feels off. They control the same on a hill or incline as they do on regular flat land. In th shops you can buy upgrades. For Sonic you can buy a slide kick which is more helpful than that shitty kick he has, a Light Speed Dash which was an ability he had TO START WITH in Heroes and 06, and Returning from Adventure 2 is the bounce bracelet which lets you do abounce and get higher air,. but the most.....interesting...abilities are the colored gems. Theres a Gem that gives him a boost of speed (Why wasnt he this fast to start with?!), A gem that can slow down time so you can dodge bulelts and misles quickly, A gem that allows Sonic to gain a tornado attack, A gem that makes him gain a Lightning Shield (Which doesnt protect him but draws in rings like in the classic games), A gem that gives you a different homing attack animation (why?), a gem that is basically a grappling hook, And a gem that turns Sonic mini and allows him to have infinite jumps. Alright time to get to the main problems. Theres a bar in the corner of the screen. its intended to limit your usage of gem power ups so the game isnt broken. However, THEY DIDNT POROGRAM IT CORRECTLY FOR SONIC. The meter never runs out. Ever. At least, as Sonic. That leads to such great things as being able to slow down time so you get amazing time bonuses, cheat all the levels by infinite jumping over everything. Hell, you can even grappling hook to the sky and then do infinite jumps to GO OUTSIDE OF THE INVISABLE WALLS. This game can be broken so damn easilly. But, more on that later. Shadow and Silver dont get as many upgrades. Shadow just gets the light speed dash and 3 useless chaos powers.Chaos Snap allows you to teleport to enemies during a chain but it barely fucking works, Chaos Spear allows you to throw projectiles at enemies thats useless because homing attack, and Chaos Blast lets you throw a bigger Chaos Spear but again, Homing attack. Silver gets barely anything. He gets a dash attack thats pointless because shit range and he gets a shock wave attack that stuns enemies making it easier,. Other than that, nothing. But Sonic, Silver, and Shadow arent our only playable characters. From time to time we can play as Sonic's companions. It happens so little times its a pointless feature. Theres even a level where in Sonic's story you play as Silver and in Silver's story you play as Sonic. Weird...but...whatever. Tails plays like he does in adventure 1 ! Except..idunno...shit controls, shit speed, horrible camera angles, glitchy attacks, glitchy attacks that cause slowdown, shit fly time, and an annoying voice. Yaaay. Knuckles fucking SUUUUUUUCKS. His run speed is HORRENDOUS, his glide feels unnaturally heavy, his level design is boring, and his fighting is nowhere near as well flwoing than the older games. I WOULD say he is the worst character in the entire game but he isnt because Amy is here. Fuck Amy. (Not literally pls). Now, Amy in Adventure 1 sucked and had a bad gameplay style. ITS WORSE HERE. She is the slowest character in the game (Even though its been established EVEN IN RECENT GAMES that she is as fast as Sonic.), she has a delayed attack that barely works, A double jump that ruins all momentum, and a useless invisibility attack. Rogue plays similar to knuckles and has the same complaints. Omega sucks too. All he has is a miserable little pea shooter that barely works. He can also hover in the air. FOREVER if you mash the jump button. So, once again, you can break the game and skip a lot of the level. Blaze is probably the best character in the game. Her homing attack is usefull, she is fast enough, her double jump doesnt break the momentum, and she has a fire spin that destroys small enemies well. i wish they implimented the Sonic Heroes stuff in here and let me switch characters when i want. The gameplay itself is similar to Adventure 1. In between stages Sonic and the gang will explore hubworlds where they can buy upgrades, talk to townspeople and do side missions (FUCK THESE SIDE MISSIONS BTW) The designs of these hubworlds, like i said, are boring. They are huge but have no landmarks to tel you where you've been or where to go, the townspeople never say anything interesting, and he place just seems empty. The missions get you rings but they are all either boring or bullshit hard. The game in total has 9 stages, a final stage thats pathetically easy, and a final boss stage. The main goal in each stage is the basic stuff. Get to a goal ring and you're done. How you get there, however, depends on the character. To be honest, some of these stages (Sonic's at least) CAN be well designed. They have different paths to take which adds variety. Each character has their own special bullshit that makes me hate them so damn much. Sonic has sections called Mach-Speed sections. THESE CAN GO BURN IN HELL. At the end of ertain stages, these happen. During them you can only go left, right, and jump. Sonic runs on his own. You cannot move yourself while in the air and Sonic goes so fast its hard to react to things in time. If sonic touches ANYTHING other than the floor or rings, he gets hurt. And when he does he stumbles like a moron and leaves himself open to another hit. Shadow's story has sections where you play as Rogue trying to find keys. EXCEPT THERE IS NO RADAR LIKE IN ADVENTURE 2. Then, Shadow has these Vehical sections which has HORRIBLE controls, THE CAMERA IS ASS HERE. The camera doesnt give you a good sense of where a pillar willf all so 9 times out of 10 you get blindsided, and too many insta kill things. Silver has, besides the shit combat and level design, a billiards puzzle in Dusty Dunes. FUCK THIS. This is an annoying as fuck puzzle. A lot of people are fine with Silver's combat but hate playing as him because of this one mission. Yah, its THAT bad. You have to push a ball with a timer on it into a hole at the end of an L shaped corridor and ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT. The physics engine make this annoying as fuck to go through. Its damn near luck based. Later in the game, we see Silver pick up a fireball 3 times his size, so why cant he pick this up?!. But, luckilly, thanks to this game's WONDERFUL coding, you can glitch through a wall and skip the entire stage. This game is one of the most glitch fiilled things omfg. Just to go over a few, In Silver's fight with Sonic he can pick you up and throw you which does damage., You then land on a ring you lost and he picks you up again immediatly. He then throws you, you get hurt, and you land on a ring. See what im getting at? Silver can also throw you PAST THE INVISIBLE WALL AND INTO SPACE. No, literally space. You just keep going higher and higher and higher until you break the boundries and the screen turns black. ou cn also get stuck to walls as Knucles and Rogue. In addition, clipping through walls, times where i swaer i hit an enemiy but it doesnt count, and just all around bullshit game breaking stuff. The loading times are also some of the worst i have EVER seen. They are EVERYWHERE! Its like you run into a load screen when you do ANYTHING. nd to make things worse they take FOREVER. 1-2 minutes half the time. Let me give you an example of why this sucks specifically. You start a mission, Load Screen. A cutscene shows what you need to do. Load Screen. You do the mission and fail, Load Screen. You are told you fucked up, Load Screen. You wanna try again? Repeat. It ruins the flow of the game and makes it feel disjointed. The bosses range from boring to bullshit. A lot of the bosses are pathetically easy and you will never die to them but their patterns are so slow and take forever to execute. So it takes forever to hit him. The camera is one of the worst. The camera gets stuck constantly and never gives you a good idea of what you're looking at and its just shit. The camera also focuses on you during boss fights and not the boss like in other games so it makes some bosses bullshit. These controls are fucking shit too. Its so fucking stiff and percise. If you lightly tap the jump button they do a full on jump. If you tilt the analog stick slightly they immediatly run with no flow to it. The second you let go of the stick, the characters sotp immediatly because they have no weight to them.
Gameplay - 8/20
Controls - 9/20

Music
The ONLY good thing about this game. The soundtrack has good tracks. Id reccomend listening to a few of the songs, they actually work. its memorable enough and has soem great songs. Sonic games usually always have great music and this is no exception. Its actually well done, which is surprising. So yeah, this game is only 99.999999999% bad! yaaaaay.....ugh....But yeah, the soundtrack has memorable tunes and some bad ones but more good than bad. The songs fit the environments well enough. Too bad the soundtrack is drowned out by you screaming because you're so angry because you went through another wall. The main themes are good too, Silver, Sonic, and Shadow's theme are pretty good. I didnt really care for the lyrics to His World at first but it grew on me. Its not the best, but i reccomend trying it. So..buy the soundtrack and not the game.
14/20

Overall
This game hurts me. Every second is torture. From the horrible graphics to the shit level design to the sbundance of glitches to the pointless tacked on missions and gameplay styles to the shit writing to the shit story to the shit controls its just....TERRIBLE
31/100

rangernumberx
09-05-2014, 01:13 AM
I'm not sure whether to be more surprised that you've made three reviews on the same game, or that it gained an extra point the last time.

Umbreon
09-08-2014, 04:32 AM
So lately, iv'e been doing big reviews. a Mega Man marathon, Sonic 06, 3-4 sonic games in a row, and such. So right now im gonna keep this simple for now. Uh....time to randomly choose a game!.....Conker's Bad Fur Day...fuck.....lets get this over with.

http://thegotgame.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Conker.png
Developed By - Rare
Published By - Nintendo
Release Date - 2000

Story
One night, you and your friends get drunk at the bar. The next morning, you wake up with a hangover. You are told about the controls and Context Sensative (Best name ever btw) by a Scarecrow and you make your way home. Meanwhile, a Panther King named....uh...Panther King. Its never explained. He's drinking milk and he places it on a table, which breaks.His henchman tells him that to fix his table, he should use a Squirrel's spine. From there on, the story is mostly you going from location to location collecting money and trying to get home. When you get far enough, you meet a character named Don Weasel and your girlfriend, Berri. Don tells you to rob the bank in the area and you'll get home. You do so only to find out its a trap. Suddenly, you're girlfriend is killed by an Xenomorph. After killing the creature, you go home. This is a bland story but....it is one of the funniest games i have ever played. It is downright hilarious at times. The characters are memorable, the scenes are funny enough to remember and quotable, and its all arond a great time. In the XBox 360 version, they censor half the cutscenes. WHY?!?!?!?!
16/20

Graphics
The game looks great for N64 standards. The models and textures are all nice and well done. The frame rate is fine, not much slowdown, and its all around a great looking game.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is your basic platformer type game. Completeing missions and colelcting money and such. The gameplay is fine. Each place has a different style and feel to it. From a farm, to a mountain made of shit, to a haunted house, to a spaceship. Each level is well designed and well done. The levels are diverse enough and its all around fun enough. The game has 1 flaw, the controls. This game controls like ASS. I dont even know what it is thats wrong with it. it just feels...wrong playing it. Theres something about the controls that make this game not that fun. I dont normally do this but im gonna cover the multiplayer. The multiplayer is probably the best part of this game for me except the writing and dialogue. There are multiple game modes but im just gonna go over some of my favorites. First off is Heist. Each character plays as a..Weasel...ithink and has to get to a room in the middle to collect a bag of cash and bring it back to your base.. So its capture the flag, basically. Its a fun time sue to guns. Its actually pretty fun. Second is Raptor. One team plays as a Dinosaur, the other play as Cavemen. The Cavemen need to get Eggs from the Raptor nest and bring it back to a large frying pan through a maze. The raptors have to catch him. Its a fun time too but its biased to the Raptors. Third is Colors. One group plays as American Squirrels while the other plays as German Bears and its your basic kill everything type gameplay. This is nothing special but foir some reason the 360 version cuts out all the other multiplayer modes except the shooting one. Anyways, overall the gameplay is great but the controls ruin it for me.
Gameplay - 15/20
Controls - 10/20

Music
The music is well done enopugh. Most of the music fits the levels well enough but its nothing special on its own.
12/20

Overall
Its a...good game. Not great like people say, not bad. Its in the middle somewhat. I'd give the multiplayer a shot and watch the cutscenes, at least. I mean, i got this game for 3 bucks at a Flea Market, it cant be THAt expens-

http://i.imgur.com/AoVVbUH.jpg

...well fuck....
69/100

Turtlesauce
09-08-2014, 04:36 AM
Only 69? I'd give it a 90.
But yeah, controls fucking suck

ALSO WTF 100 BUCKS

Umbreon
09-12-2014, 04:21 AM
Time for Crash! Iv'e been meaning to cover Crash for a while and now i can so..yea. Lets talk about crash! Fun Fact: In development this game was called Sonic's Ass Game since you see Crash from the back most of the time and the most famous animal character in a Platformer at the time was Sonic The Hedgehog.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/44/Crash_Bandicoot_Cover.png/250px-Crash_Bandicoot_Cover.png
Developed By - Naughty Dog
Published By - Sony Computer Entertainment America
Release Date - September 9, 1996

Story
On an island in the middle of nowhere, a scientist named Doctor Neo Cortex and his partner N.Brio (Get it? Cortex? Embryo? Not Funny? K...) is doing genetic expiriments on a group of animals to create a super army of mutant creatures to take over the world.. One of the test subjects, A Bandicoot named Crash, ends in failure and he escapes from the prison and swims to a nearby island. He then realizes his girlfriend named Tauna was still captured and he makes his way back to Cortex's castle to try to save her before she can be expirimented on. Along the way, Cortex's other test subjects are sent to try to stop Crash from getting to the island. The story is okay for early PS1 standards. Seeing as most games at the time had the simplest of plots. :p
12/20

Graphics
The game looks fine but you can tell its an early 3D game. The models arent really textured, they're flat colors or gradients. The models themselves look fine for an early PS1 game. The environments, however, are not really that varied. Theres only a couple of level themes and tropes so the levels can get bland looking after a while. The lack of cutscenes is probably due to the fact that the models dont look that good when moving much. The game's graphics themselves hold up decently well but Crash's model looks a bit derpy.
14/20

Gameplay/Control
Crash doesnt really add anything that new to the platforming genre and doesnt really revolutionize the genre in any ay or anything, but thats fine. Keeping things simple can work if done right. And this game? Does it right...kinda....He can attack enemies and jump like every other 3D platformer. You can attack enemies by either jumping on them like Mario or you can press Square and do a spin attack. The spin attack is the more useful of the two, honestly. Each level is your basic Get To The End type gameplay with 3 gameplay styles. First is your basic platforming sections. You just have to get to the portal at the end of the stage and collect Wumpa Fruit (Basically, coins.) For extra lives. Also, this game hands out lives a LOT and ill explain why it does in a bit. This game seems to have a bottomless pit fetish because they are fucking everywhere. 9 times out of 10, this is what will kill you. Crash starts out with no hit points. Get hit once, and you are dead. Along the stages you can collect an Aku-Aku mask that gets you 1 extra hit. Get another one and you get a second extra hit. Get a third and you gain invincability. This may turn off some since Crash dies so easilly, but the level design works with it. None of the enemies are dickishly placed and none are really that annoying so its fine. The second type of stage is a Boulder Chase stage. You basically have to run away from a boulder chasing you while avoiding obstacles like rocks and stuff along the way. Not much to say at the moment, its okay. The last is a Hog Riding stage where you are constantly moving forward while riding a hog. These can be pretty fun since they're fast paced and well done. The game is pretty much the textbook definition of a Hallway Game. Almost every level in the game is a straight line. Thats okay, as long as the levels are designed well and they are. At times. This game can be dickishly designed at times. Not far into the game, the game will test your patience and timing on platforming challenges but it never gets THAT bad, just noticably bad. The bosses in the game arent very interesting or anything. They're all bland and have boring basic attack patterns and none really stick out. Even the final fight against Cortex isnt anything special. Now, lets talk about something: THE SHIT THEY MAKE YOU DO FOR 100% IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. And thats for a few reasons. First, saving is hard as fuck. In each level there are 3 tokens you can collect that lead to a bonus room. If you beat the bonus room, you get to save the game. Yeah, you have to go out of your way and do a challenge section to save your fucking game. Second, there are gems you need to collect. How do you do this? By breaking every box in every level. And the best part? If you die, ONCE you have to start the whole level over again! Early on this isnt a problem but as you get farther and farther the levels become fucking terrible when you keep dying trying to break boxes. This turns what was a simple and pretty well designed platformer into a fucking nightmare. In some levels you cant backtrack to get more boxes and even when you can the camera is situated in such a way where you cant see where you're going. Traveling against the camera SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. It doesnt turn around and since its pointed at your back you cant see upcoming obstacles and OIDHNVH RHNEIO FUCK THIS GAME. There are TNT crates that you obviously dont want to spin into so you jump on them and activate them so they go off in 3 seconds. For the longest time i thought TNT crates that explode other crates dont count because i kept seeing the game say i missed 6 boxes when i KNOW i didnt. Then i learned how it works, if you activate a TNT crate and then make it go off screen, the TNT crate explodes but none of the crates next to it do. WHAT?! WHY?! Certain levels give you a colored gem instead of a regular clear one. THEY DONT TELL YOU THE LEVELS THAT DO. And the best part? Certain levels REQUIRE THAT YOU HAVE ANOTHER LEVEL'S COLORED GEM TO GET ALL THE BOXES. I know what you're thinking: Surely they must give you something amazing for 100%ing the game, right? WRONG. You get to skip the final boss. Thats it. So pretty much your only award is bragging rights. Fuck you, game. Fuck you. Anyways, Crash controls fine but there are a few problems. First, You have to use the D-Pad. I know that Analog Sticks werent a thing at the time, but controlling Crash can get very awkward at times with the D-Pad. Theres no way to really run at an angle, you have to go straight, left, right, or backwards and that takes some getting used to. Second, Crash's jumps seem a bit heavy. His jumps arent really nimble, he just seems too heavy. Crash's traction isnt that good either. He seems a bit slippery. Not as bad as Luigi does in 2D mario games, but its still noticably slippery.
Gameplay - 13/20
Controls - 11/20

Music
The music has a nice tropical/jungle feel to it and is pretty well done. The theme that plays when you get 3 masks is probably my favorite song. The theme song itself is pretty catchy too. Not the best but iv'e heard worse.
14/20

Overall
This is a weird one for me. If you arent 100%ing it then the game is actually fun. The controls can be a bit wonky at times but the game itself is well designed overall. But if you are 100%ing it its an anger filled borefest that drives you crazy. So is it good or bad? I'd say somewhere in the middle-ish, its above average. The good things are really good but the bad things are really bad. And yes, i will cover Crash 2 and 3 at some point but not now, maybe later.
63/100

Umbreon
09-21-2014, 10:55 PM
Its tail time! A long time ago i reviewed Gex 2, now for Gex 3!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/79/Gex_3_box.jpg/256px-Gex_3_box.jpg
Developed by - Crystal Dynamics
Published By - Eidos
Release Date - March 1, 1999


Story
Gex's wife...girlfriend....partner....person, idunno its never explained, is kidnapped by Rez, the robotic thingy from the second game. You must go from level to level, collecting remotes and trying to follow Rez. For the PS1 days, this isnt that good of a story but the dilalogue is funny and well written so its a plus. I dont know, its funny.
11/20

Graphics
The game looks kinda bad, honestly. Its not horrible but its not very good, its pixelated a lot and the models arent that detailed or anything. The levels themselves are varied due to the TV theme. Every level feels different. From the Anime based level (When Good Sushi Goes Bad) to a western based level (The Organ Trail) each has a different style, enemies, and design. So overall the models are bleh but the level design is well done.
14/20

Gameplay/Controls
Like the last one, the game has a mission based style. You enter a level and choose from one of 3 missions, then explore open world levels and do them. Its basically the same gameplay as Mario 64. The gameplay is fun, like Mario 64. Each level also has a 100 coin remote. SO overall each stage has 4 missions. Unlike gex 2, level themes dont repeat. So theres only 1 Anime Level and theres only 1 Superhero level. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Some of the level themes are fun and you'd like to see them do another level like it. But it does add a ton of variety. The game has 4 main collectables. The Remotes, which are basically power stars, Fly Coins, which are coins obviously. Bonus Coins, which unlock bullshit. And Gecko Paws, where collecting 25 of them increases your health bar. The game has goods and bads. Ill start with the goods: The level themes are varied so no level feels the same. Each level has a different feel to them and its a ton of fun. The missions are unique but get repeated a bit. A lot of the missions are "Find/Break 5 ________" and it makes the game seem lazilly designed at times. But overall the levels and missions are unique. Now for the bads: The camera is bad. REALLY bad at times. Other times it works well, yeah but overall the camera can be really bad. Second, FUCK THESE STAGES. Sometimes the game gets REALLY hard. Just to name a few examples: The Fairy Tale level (Bean-Stalker) has you climb a tall beanstalk. If you fall, you dont die. Instead you fall to the bottom of the stalk and try again. This doesnt work well because the camera is wonky in this level and it just is hard to navigate sometimes. Second, The Bonus Stages. As you collect Bonus Coins in each level you unlock bonus stages. Each world has 1 and they can be either Annoying or Bullshit hard. They require you to collect a certain number of collectables before time runs out and they give you barely enough time to do it. Third, the Secret Stages. These can be horribly designed too. They're bullshit at times., You go through a maze/puzzle with a time limit and collect a token at the end. Collecting all 4 tokens unlocks cheat codes and i have never done it and never will because fuck those things. Im torn on it. The game has great levels (Super-0, When Good Sushi Goes Bad, Et Tu Gecko?, ect) and bad ones (Holy Moses!, War is Heck, Totally Scrooged) its also got good level design and bad ones and a wonky camera. As for controls, they're fine. At least on the N64 version, i dont remember them being bad on the PS1 version either.
Gameplay - 13/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
The music ranges from really good ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlOwZAv1swA ) to okay/meh ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1snWbCRhK4w ). Im fine with the soundtrack but its more hit than miss.
13/20

Overall
The game is.,...decent. I would LOVE to see another Gex game be made, the idea of going from TV Channel to TV Channel in a platformer is creative and iv'e never seen it done before or after this. Its got good level design, nice variety, funny dilagoue, and interesting ideas but it also ahs a wonky camera, sometimes bullshit moments, and sometimes bland levels.
64/100

No im not covering the Gameboy version.

Umbreon
09-27-2014, 01:34 AM
Its Almost October! yaaaaaaaaay! The one holiday i celebrate! And i would do horror game reviews but i hate horror games seeing as 90% of them are jump scare after jump scare and/or boring as fuck with no real creepy atmosphere! But, i digress. Instead ill be looking at.semi spooky i guess games! One game a week and maybe a rant or two here and there idunno. But yeah. So the dates are planned to be:

October 3rd
October 10th
October 17th
October 24th
October 31st

These dates may change idunno. But from now on i want to do one a week. vVote for the first review here! http://strawpoll.me/2653777 Voting ends on October 1st

Umbreon
10-02-2014, 10:15 PM
Someone break the damn tie pls

Umbreon
10-03-2014, 08:34 AM
Why the fuck did Ghostbusters win?! D:
*sigh*
Review will be up later today

Umbreon
10-03-2014, 05:39 PM
Who Ya Gonna Call? BETTER GAME DESIGNERS! anyways..how tthe fuck did Ghostbiusters win?! i put it in there as a damn joke..i didnt mean for it to win..whatever...lets get this over with. The picture's in spoilers because its so fucking big so..yea. Also im sick right now so this review may be bleh.

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111024231317/nintendo/en/images/2/23/Ghostbusters-nes.png

Developed By - Activision
Published By - I THINK Nintendo
Release Date - Fuck if i Know


Story
Goirza (Not GOZER like in the movie. Damn yoiu misspellings. It cant have been a simple typo either, its spelled nothing likt it's supposed to.) has taken over the Zuul building (Why the fuck is the entire building named after Zuul? Oh, and ZUUL MUTHAFUCKA ZUUL! There i got the joke out of trhe way) and the Ghostbusters (ALL 3 OF THEM. NOT 4. 3.) have to stop him from...uh...taking over the world...i..guess...this sucks. It has little to do with the movie and isnt interesting at all
7/20

Graphics
The game looks bad. First off, the entire game seems entirely grey and white. Theres little to no color to the game and when there IS color it clashes on the gray-ness of th rest of the game. The game has very low variety on sprites. Every ghost looks the same and every Ghostbuster is the same exact sprite. The game has flicker and its just bland and boring looking from start to finish.
8/20

Gameplay
You play as the Logo (Yes, the ghostbusters logo...) and the first thing you do is wander around this pac-man like screen full of houses figuring out what the hell you do. What you gotta do is touhch every bulding to find out which has a ghost in it. When it glows red/ornage it has a ghost in it. But before you do that, you have to buy your equipment from a store (Who the FUCK sells Proton-Packs Ghost-Traps?!) You're able to hold up to 4 pieces of equipment at a time. When you finally get your shit, you enter a glowing building and drive to the location. If you are in front of the bilding when you choose it, THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO DRIVE THERE?! Anyways, FUCK THOSE CARS. Its like the intentionally try to fucking ramn into you and tis so fucking annoying. Every time they hit you, you lose money so its really fucking annoying. You cna run out of fuel. WHAT GAME DOES THAT?! You cna get fuel by running over Gas Tanks (Because fuck logic). When you get to the destination you catch ghosts! Finally! Well this sucks too. The ghosts all look the same and can be in places you cant possibly reach. You lay a trap and try to use your beam to drag them to where the trap is. Its basic and boring and because of the shitty coloring it doesnt even look good. Somtimes the hosts go too high or low for you to reach AND theres a time limit and ugh... And then you go back to the map screen and do it again. and again, and again. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. This game is one of the most boring expiriences of my life and i once went through a 8 hour game of Monopoly so thats saying something. Its just literally doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. You just go from the headquarters to empty your trap to the store to buy more stuff to the buildigns to catch ghosts back to the headquarters AND IT JUST GOES ON AND ON. And after doing it for a long enough time, the game says you can enter The Zuul Building. But this offer is only for a certain amount of time, so by the time you go empty your traps and go to the store, the offer is already gone so you better fucking hurry with it. When you enter the building the game becomes a sidescroller..where you constantly tap the B-Button to move. You go so slow and have to dodge ghosts and its gets so tiring on your hands havign to press B hundreds of times. After you buy a Turbo Controller and basically cheat, you get to the final boss. Which sucks. Its just mash the shoot buton to win. The control is okay, i guess. Its hard to fuck up control on an NES game. YOU BETTER GET A GOOD FUCKING ENDING FOR BEATING THIS SHIT

http://tag.hexagram.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/ghostbusters_end.png

FUCK YOU.
Gameplay - 5/20
Controls - 10/20

Music
ONE SONG. ONE.FUCKING.SONG. ONE SONG THAT PLAYS CONSTANTLY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND IT WONT STOP! Its a decent rendition of the Ghostbusters theme BUT IT GETS SO ANNOYING.
3/20

Overall
ITS SO BORING. Its just doing the same thing over and over again AND IT WONT STOP. Repetetive music, bland graphics, boring gameplay, IT SUCKS.
33/100

Umbreon
10-05-2014, 07:26 AM
Im half asleep and bored so im gonna say why i hate jump scares i guess. Im a decently big horror fan. As a goth, i should be. And i know how to create horror. You create horror by have a creepy atmosphere or feeling, for the most part. Gore and Jump Scares are NOT SCARY. Using movies as an Example, Halloween. That movie has no Jump Scares or Gore, hell, it BARELY has blood, and yet its still considered a pretty creepy movie. It creates a haunting atmopshere and uses a realistic environment to screate fear. Jump Scares arent scary. What they are is Startling. Theres a difference. Just because it makes you jump doesnt mean its scary. A startle is a sidden involuntary movement. Fear is doing it because you're actually scared. Jump Scares are a cheap tactic used to get an easy jump from the layer/viewer. Gore isnt much better, Gorefests are fine. Not scary. Gross-Out and Fear and 2 different things too. Gore is just gross out and Disgust =/= Fear. And even then, Gore is HARD to do right. Gore works if its just as disgusting to the characters as it is for the viewers. Again, Gore-Fests are fine. But NOT scary. I HATE modern horror games. Stuff like Slender and Five Nights, Slender is a MAJOR bore fest with NO creepy atmosphere or environment, and uses Jump Scares to get a cheap scare. Five Nights is one of the most boring expiriences of my life. Its just sitting there and waiting for a lazy as fuck Jump Scare. Thats why i hate modern horror PC games, they are way too boring and predictable. Horror is a REALLY hard thing to do in games, yeah, but they do it so wrong. Also, fun fact: I accidentilly typed Hump Scare three times because im sleepy., Anyways..next up on the 10th is..uh..idunno...Ill think of something Horror Related.

Lancer
10-06-2014, 07:15 PM
Im half asleep and bored so im gonna say why i hate jump scares i guess. Im a decently big horror fan. As a goth, i should be. And i know how to create horror. You create horror by have a creepy atmosphere or feeling, for the most part. Gore and Jump Scares are NOT SCARY. Using movies as an Example, Halloween. That movie has no Jump Scares or Gore, hell, it BARELY has blood, and yet its still considered a pretty creepy movie. It creates a haunting atmopshere and uses a realistic environment to screate fear. Jump Scares arent scary. What they are is Startling. Theres a difference. Just because it makes you jump doesnt mean its scary. A startle is a sidden involuntary movement. Fear is doing it because you're actually scared. Jump Scares are a cheap tactic used to get an easy jump from the layer/viewer. Gore isnt much better, Gorefests are fine. Not scary. Gross-Out and Fear and 2 different things too. Gore is just gross out and Disgust =/= Fear. And even then, Gore is HARD to do right. Gore works if its just as disgusting to the characters as it is for the viewers. Again, Gore-Fests are fine. But NOT scary. I HATE modern horror games. Stuff like Slender and Five Nights, Slender is a MAJOR bore fest with NO creepy atmosphere or environment, and uses Jump Scares to get a cheap scare. Five Nights is one of the most boring expiriences of my life. Its just sitting there and waiting for a lazy as fuck Jump Scare. Thats why i hate modern horror PC games, they are way too boring and predictable. Horror is a REALLY hard thing to do in games, yeah, but they do it so wrong. Also, fun fact: I accidentilly typed Hump Scare three times because im sleepy., Anyways..next up on the 10th is..uh..idunno...Ill think of something Horror Related.

Jump scares are alright in moderation. Five Nights was very creepy initially and atmospherically until you got jump scared every couple minutes because you suck at the game, then it just got stale.

Umbreon
10-10-2014, 04:36 PM
Huh? Its October 10th already? Fuck..uh...Castlevania!...i guess...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/24/Castlevania_NES_box_art.jpg/250px-Castlevania_NES_box_art.jpg
Developed by - Konami
Published By - Konami
Release Date - 1988

Story
You play as Simon Belmont (WHO STILL SHOULD BE IN SMASH BROTHERS DAMN YOU SAKURAI!) Anyways...He is a Vamprie hunter and is trying to destroy Dracula. He finds where Dracula's castle is and storms in trying to get to the tallest tower to destroy him. Why he didnt just go in from the other side of the castle and get to the tower in a fdew minutes is beyond me. His castle is weird. It has a clock tower, underground cavern, towers, and a half destroyed tower where Dracula is. So its pretty basic.
11/20


Graphics
The game looks really nice for 8-Bit standards. it has a dark feel to it and it works well. The sprites are decently detailed and i didnt notice much slowdown or flickering.
14/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is kinda basic. You go from point A to point B, fight a boss, and move on. You use a whip as a weapon You use the whip to attack enemies using a close range attack and to break candles and collect either new Weapons, Health, or Hearts, which are amunition. Wat. You instead get health from eating Roast you find in a wall. Why would he eat meat that he found inside a wall? Why is there meat in a wall in the first place? Uh..because....fuck you thats why. There are five kinds of Sub Weapons. The Dagger which is a ranged attack that disappears after going like 3 inches in front of you and isnt really helpful, The Axe goes in an arc above you and its annoying as fuck to hit anyone with the damn thing but is good for Aerial enemies i guess, The Cross, which is pretty much a Boomerang and is actually usefull since it goes pretty far before coming back. The Stopwatch, which freezes enemies and makes them unable to move, therefore an easy target, And the Holy Water, which only uses 1 Heart and stops enemies when they hit it so you can whip away at them like crazy. I know what you're thinking, Simon seems to get cool weapons, this must be a pretty easy game. NO. NO IT FUCKING ISNT. This is fucking brutal. One of the hardest NES games out there. First off, the enemies are fucking horrible. The Medusa Heads go in an annoying as fuck pattern, the Hunchbacks jump around and are too fast to hit easilly, for example. Enemies are either dickishly placed, kill you too fast, take forever to kill, or all of the above. Literally like 90% of these enemies will make you wanna rip your hair out by the end of the game. Second problem is Level Design. First off, YOU WILL HATE STAIRS SO FUCKING MUCH. While on them you cannot jump or attack and you move so slow. Enemies can STILL attakc you and since you move slow, have no way of dodging, and cant fight back, You are defenseless against enemies while on the stairs. The thing that makes this game brutal, however, is the control. It is SO FUCKING STIFF. While in the air, you cant control Simon. You have to hold left/right SLIGHTLY before you jump, or you just jump up and cant move. Simon only has 1 Speed, theres no run button like in Mario and you dont go faster as you keep going like Sonic. He is ALWAYS running Remember how i kinda complained about Knockback during my Mega Man reviews? Yeah, this is a MILLION TIMES WORSE. If you get hti you FLY backwards and almost ALWAYS fucking land in a pit. This makes Platforming sections hard since you fall when you get hit and the game is full of fucking platforming. The Bosses are BS too. At first, they're pathetic and then you run into Igor and Frankenstein's Monster and you realize THEY ARE FUCKING HORRIBLE. If it isnt the Boss thats bullshit, its getting to them without dying so you keep your upgraqdes. There is NEVER a break. NEVER an easy part so you can relax. SOMETHING is ALWAYS goingto be bullshit. Having ANY chance against the bosses is impossible unless you do a near perfect run of the levels and THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT. The ONE fair thing about this mess is you have unlimited continues. But....when you beat a stage. It feels grea! You feel accomplished and it actually makes you feel great. AND THEN YOU REACH DRACULA. FUCK THAT FUCKER. He constantly teleports and shoots fireballs and if he hits you he takes away a TON of health and you cna only hit him in the head. He doesnt really have a pattern either. The controls, as i mentioned before, are HORRIBLE.
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 10/20

Music
The music is decent. It has amazing pieces but pretty bad ones too.
12/20

Overall
The game is bullshit. but....you feel so great after beating a stage that..i kinda reccomend it. If you like bullshit NES games and want a challenge, try it. You may like it.
59/100


IM FUCKIGN DONE. NO MORE NES GAMES. NO MORE BULLSHIT THIS MONTH. FUCK THIS. Im reviewing something FUN and NOT horribly designed. So..whats next week?


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a1/GhostsnGoblins_flyer.jpg/250px-GhostsnGoblins_flyer.jpg


FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Umbreon
10-15-2014, 03:27 AM
Id like the point out that a few days after i review the Ghostbusters NES game, Ghostbusters 3 was announced.

COINCIDENCE?!?!?!?!?!?!


...yeah, pretty much.

YellowNerd
10-15-2014, 03:48 AM
Dafuck you mean decent, It has one of the best scores i nthe game man

Umbreon
10-19-2014, 08:33 PM
Ghosts n' Goblins will either be up late tonight or early tomorrow. Sorry about the delay. Depressions been killing me and stuff.

Umbreon
10-20-2014, 05:19 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a1/GhostsnGoblins_flyer.jpg/250px-GhostsnGoblins_flyer.jpg
Developed By - Capcom
Published By - Nintendo
Release Date - 1986

As most of you know, im going through depression. A lot of bad stuff has happened to me. A fire, CPS, Horrible parents, horrible ex girlfriend, social issues, ect. But if i had to make a list of the worst expiriences of my life PLAYING THIS FUCKING GAME IS IN THE TOP 5. THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. THIS IS..ugh...lets..get this over with...


Story
You are about to fuck your girlfriend in a cemetary when the Devil flies out of nowhere and kidnaps her. Thats it, for an NES game, its standard i guess. Not much to say. You dont meet any new characters or anything, there isnt even a cutscene outside of the opening one and an end one. Its basic as you can get, but for NES its okay.
11/20

Graphics
THE FLICKER IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. The game as bad flicker, a bland color scheme, lack of enemy variety, lack of stage variety, boring level design in terms of looks, and slow down occurs frequently. The spritework is not well done at all. For early NES, i guess its a bit understandable but the game still looks like shit and the game suffers from flicker and slow down a lot which makes the game harder sometimes.
8/20

Gameplay
Oh my fucking god where do i begin? Okay, the overall gameplay is your basic NES platformer fare, Get from one end to the next. Simple, right? NO. ITS NOT THAT FUCKING SIMPLE. This game's level design is HORRENDOUS. SOME OF THE WORST. Enemies are placed in the worst possible locations. Its honestly kinda impressive. Like, they knew exactly where you would duck and jump to try to dodge things and threw enemies in the PERFECT spots to fuck you up. In terms of enemies themselves, they take way too many hits to kill, have annoying patterns, or overall dickish locations. Theres a Devil enemy that attacks if you get close or attack it and IT CAN GO FUCK ITSELF. It has a horrible pattern and if you dont kill it the fucker follows you through the whole level. It takes a million fucking hits to kill too. Its horrible. Theres also these pink fat guy enemies that can shoot up, down, left, and right and can shoot through walls and are almost ALWAYS placed above a ladder. Since YOU cant shoot up, you pretty much HAVE to take a hit. Oh yeah, TWO HTIS AND YOU'RE DEAD. THATS IT. TWO. AND THERES NO FUCKING WAY TO REGAIN HEALTH. FUCK THIS GAME. Ugh..anyways...In terms of weapons, only 1 matters. The Knife. The Javelyn shoots too slowly, The fire can only be shot twice at a time and goes in an arc pattern, the shield does little to no damage, and the knife can be shoot infinitly number of times and be shot quickly. The problem? If you have the knife, and an enemy drops one, you have to dodge it. Jumping over it is the only way to do so most of the time and we'll get to how much that sucks later on. Another thing, since The Knife is SOOOO much better than the rest, you dont have a reason to use the other weapons. Look at a GOOD game like Mega Man 2. Metal Blades are broken, yeah, but the other weapons are still good and useable. The first 5 minutes of this damn game is you constantly saying "SOMEONE GIVE ME THE FUCKING KNIFE." As you kill enemies over and over and over waiting for it. The game only has 6 stages, so its really short. To make up for it they made this ONE OF THE HARDEST GAMES EVER MADE. Theres infinite continues, if you get a game over you can just start at the beginning of the area again and you even get to keep the weapon you had. So you dont really have a reason to give up unless you're THAT pissed off, thank fuck this isnt like other shit NES games and you only have 1 continue. Thatd be horrible. Anyways, theres a difference between cheap and challenging, guys. THIS IS CHEAP. All this fucking game is is pain and misery. Its so cheap..it isnt fair in the slightest. On to the controls, THEY. ARE. HORRIBLE. This is honestly some of the worst controls ever. The jumping is so damn stuff. You have to hit left SLIGHTLY before you jump or you just jump up. You cant control your movement in mid air like mario or sonic or Mega Man. THE KNOCKBACK. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I complained about Knockback in Castlevania, THIS IS WORSE. OH MY GOD THIS IS WORSE. You dont just go an inch to the left or whatever you FLY back. And Castlevania had a similar control scheme, yeah, but they didnt make you do platforming THAT much. This game is FULL OF IT. You cant platform with controls THIS HORRIBLE. Another thing of note about this game's cheapness, in Level 5 theres a shield weapon. Normally, you'd skip it. BUT, if you dont beat the boss with it, YOU GO BACK TO LEVEL 4. Okay first off, NOTHING TELLS YOU THIS. Second, the Boss is already fucking horribly difficult even with the knife and is even harder with the shield. Third, THERE ARE ENEMIES IN THE STAGE THAT ARE IMMUNE TO THE SHIELD. So what you have to do is kill the enemies, then go back to get the shield later, then go to the boss, right? Thats a good idea, huh? WRONG! THERES A TIME LIMIT AND ITS FUCKING HORRIBLE. If you arent near perfect, the time will kill you a LOT. It doesnt happen much early on but later on, its horrible. Oh, and Spoilers (As if you fucking care) But if you DO beat this game, if you DO make it through this horrendous piece of shit, if you DO get to the end of this torture session and beat the final boss THEY SAY ITS AN ILLUSION. YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE GAME TWO TIMES TO GET THE GOOD ENDING. You remember in Mega Man 3 how i complained about the Doc Robot levels being pointless padding? THIS IS EVEN WORSE. The WHOLE game with NO CHANGES. WHAT GAME DOES THAT?! This game...ugh...fuck...this...game...
Gameplay - 8/20
Controls - 5/20

Music
ONE SONG. ONE. NOT THREE. NOT TWO. ONE. IT PLAYS ON A LOOP CONSTANTLY AND IT ISNT EVEN A GOOD SONG. IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON Oh god, and the sound effects. The enemies screech and screech and screech AND SCREECH UNTIL YOUR EARS WANT TO BLEED. FUCK THE SOUND.
5/20

Overall
this...thing..i...i cant..i cant even...i..fuck this game....now if you'll excuse me, im gonna go...cry in the corner or something....
37/100

rangernumberx
10-20-2014, 12:54 PM
Erm...*kicks Umbreon gently* I think we broke him.

Umbreon
10-20-2014, 04:15 PM
the game...has..a sequel...next week i guess ill look at Super Ghosts N Goblins *Cries in corner*

rangernumberx
10-20-2014, 04:46 PM
the game...has..a sequel...next week i guess ill look at Super Ghosts N Goblins *Cries in corner*
Don't worry, I hear that game's a lot better. At least, until [SPOILERS REACTED]

Umbreon
10-20-2014, 08:16 PM
So theres a few games i didnt get to so ill let you guys decide my last review for the month

http://strawpoll.me/2828155

Voting ends October 25th

Umbreon
10-23-2014, 10:03 PM
EDIT: Voting closed. Monster Party will be up on Halloween.

Umbreon
10-28-2014, 07:00 PM
Since i may be doing stuff on Halloween, the review may be either really late at night on Halloween or i might just say fuck it and do the review today/tomorrow/the 30th instead.

Umbreon
10-29-2014, 11:46 PM
This was gonna be put up on Halloween but.....i have shit to do so...yeah....

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/41/Monster_Party_Box.JPG/220px-Monster_Party_Box.JPG
Developed By - Bandai
Published By - Capcom
Release Date - June 1989


Story
Mark is coming home when he sees a shooting star, except its not a star its a mutant alien dinosaur...okay...then the dinosaur tells the kid that his name is Bert...really?...Bert? Really? Thats his name?...k...He also tells Mark that he wants him to beat the shit out of all the monsters in the area with his baseball bat. And then they fuse together and become a dinosaur mutant human hybrid that can fly...okay....yeah this is..different. Not good, not bad, but...different...
10/20

Graphics
The game was originally gonna be a lot more fucked up graphic wise. More blood and guts and scary imagry and stuff but Nintendo made them censor it. The game looks great by NES Standards. The imagry is actually kinda dark for NES standards with all the blood and stuff. The enemy design is....well....theres a well that shoots plates at you, a snake with hair made of snakes that vomit turtles that you hit back with a baseball bat, a giant blood covered eyeball with tentacles for feet, An Alligator that rips off its tail and throws it at you, walking pants, walking tables, walking cabinets, and naked legs upside down humping the air. Yeah, the enemy design is...weird...but good...but weird....
15/20

Gameplay
This is where the game gets blehh. The gameplay is basically, you are in a big level and you go from one side to the other and enter rooms to fight bosses. Kill all the bosses, you get a key and can finish the level. You can collect pills that turn you into a dinosaur that shoots fireballs and can fly. It doesnt help much since its only temporary and goes away soon, but it does help enough i guess. The main draw to the game is the weird bosses and enemies. Its not really addicting, but you wanna keep playing in order to see what their fucked up imaginations came up with. The problem? If you just look at the gameplay....its boring. The graphics make the game interesting, yeah. But the overall gameplay in every level is 'fight __ bosses, go to the end' thats it. its just that for 8 levels. Its...bland. The graphics, again, make it fun to blast through though. If they added more weapons/abilities say...like Megaman does it. It'd be better but...as is? Its kinda bland. Another problem is the difficulty. You get infinite lives, but you have to beat all the bosses in the stage in ONE life, just one. The game can have cheap patterns for bosses that are hard to tell or dodge too. As for controls, it controls fine. it can feel weird at times though. Like, if you attack in the air sometimes you stop in the air until the attack animation is over and that can take some getting used to. Other than that and the hit detection being a bit off, its fine.
Gameplay - 12/20
Controls - 15/20

Music
Its not that great, but its tolerable. Nothing ear **** bad but nothing id write home about. Its okay.
8/20

Overall
Its okay, its nothing terrible but it can be too hard and repetitive at times. Id reccomend trying it and seeing if its something you'd enjoy. Its worth a playthrough to see all the cool designs anyways.
50/100


My Album review of Raised By Bats! Will be up soon enough. Next game Review is...sometime in the first week of November, i guess.

Umbreon
11-07-2014, 01:33 AM
Now this is the story all about how
My plans got flipped turned upside down
I was gonna post a review today
But then my place got painted so it'll be a couple days late

Umbreon
11-11-2014, 03:26 PM
Its not halloween but..since the sequel is a thing....

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b7/Five_nights_at_freddys_cover_art.jpg/250px-Five_nights_at_freddys_cover_art.jpg


I hate horror games, modern ones anyways....but i was at a friends house and he wanted me to play this so i did and.....it sucks...


Story
Because lazy, ill copy paste the story from wikipedia The main character, whose name is later revealed to be Mike Schmidt,[8] has started a job working as a night watch security guard at the restaurant Freddy Fazbear's Pizza (a pastiche of restaurants like Chuck E. Cheese's). A voicemail message left by Mike's predecessor who explains that the animatronic animal characters used at the restaurant—including the titular Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie the Bunny, Chica the Chicken, and Foxy the Pirate Fox are able to roam freely around it at night, because if they were left off for too long, their servo motors would lock up. He also adds that the characters were no longer allowed to roam freely during the day following an incident referred to as the "Bite of '87", which apparently involved the loss of someone's frontal lobe. The employee warns the player that if one of the robots encounters a human, they will automatically assume that it is a robot that is not in costume yet, and "forcefully stuff them" into a spare mechanical Freddy Fazbear costume, killing them in the process The story is bleh, its a little creative i guess but its not really fleshed out (Is that a pun because flesh and horro game? Whatever) its okay, i guess.
10/20

Graphics
Bad. Not horrible, but bad. The animatronics dont look creepy AT ALL and the game itself has a bland feel and look to it, the color scheme is VERY basic and boring and it does NOTHING to set up a legit creepy atmosphere or situation. Its bland looking and lacks any creativity to the environment and little to no variety in the areas.
8/20

Gameplay/Controls
This is one of the most boring games i have ever played in my entire life. It is SO Bland and repetitive. There is only 1 mechanic, watch the cameras and close the doors. Thats it. There is NOTHING else. Since closing the doors and watching cameras takes battery life, 99% of the time you are sitting in a room staring at a wall doing nothing until a predictable and unscary jump scare happens. The game would work if it had legit Creepy Atmosphere and suspense but...no...its just a bland and boring mess. This is the video game equivilent of watching paint dry and having someone randomly pop out of nowhere and scream for a few hours. Unlike other horro games, every playthrough is pretty much the same. if you have seen 1 Lets play, you know EXACTLY whats gonna happen and when so it makes it EVEN MORE BORING if you saw it played before. it needed SOMETHING. I dont know, SOME other gameplay element...SOMETHING to make this not one huge snooze fest. As for controls, its just mouse mostly so no real problems.
Gameplay - 9/20
Controls - 15/20

Music
There isnt much music and what music there is is only a 30-40 second loop of the same generic and stock horror music with the occasional decent track.
9/20

Overall
REALLY bad. The concept was decent enough, it could lend itself to some scares but...as a game? its bad...the graphics are bleh, nothing is scary, there is no creepy atmosphere, tension, or scenery, the little gameplay there is is too boring to handle, nothing tries scaring you but bland and predictable jumpscares, and nothing stands out. Its one of the most boring expiriences of my life. I have seen Care Bear cartoons scarier than this.
51/100

Umbreon
11-14-2014, 05:56 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b3/JakIIbox.jpg/250px-JakIIbox.jpg

I reviewed Jak and Daxter a few months back and now its time for the sequel!

Story
After the secret ending of Jak and Daxter, Jak is teleported to a strange futuristic city. He is immediatly captured and brought to a prison. Later that night, Daxter arrives and saves him. They escape, dodging security in the building. Outside, they meet an old man and are surrounded by guards, Angry, Jak transforms into a wolf like creature and kills them all quickly. The old man tells Jak the city is run by a man named Praxus and to find a man who runs the underground rebels. Jak meets him and solves problems around town and protects the city by fighting off Metal Headz, They learn that Praxus and the Metal Headz made a deal. The Metal Headz invade the city and lose on purpose to make Praxus elected king again. In return, Praxus gives the Metal headz all of the city's energy source: Eco. Partway through the game, Praxis obtains the Precursor Stone, an artifact of immense power. Praxis intends to crack open the stone while it is inside the Metal Head nest with the aim of dealing a crippling blow to the Metal Heads, not knowing that destroying the Precursor Stone will set off a chain reaction that will destroy the planet. Jak quickly must get the stone back. Its actually a good and well written story by platformer standards.
14/20

Graphics
While the game looks beautiful and has very little load times, which is impressive for these good graphics, the game overall has a dark tone so most of the areas are black/dark blue/grey. So i dont know how to feel about it. It looks nice but lacks a variety of colors.
12/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is different that the first. Which may turn some people off, the game is a 3rd person beat em up platformer. 4 Different gun types and your fist make the combat seem not stale. The game itself plays fine. The main formula is "Person tells you to do something, you do it". Like, someone tells you "I need you to go to this area outside of town and turn off 4 generators" so you do it. While in levels/areas, the game is pretty much a "Kill everything and get to the end" Kinda game. Its rpetty fun due to enemy variety and the guns making it less stale. While in the hubworld, the game is....a watered down GTA. Big city overoworld, stealing cars/bikes, a cop system where soldiers shoot you down if you do soemthing bad, ect. Precursor Orbs are back, but they are a LOT fewer than in the first, as you collect them you unlock more and more bonuses/cheats. Its nice and gives you a reason to hunt for them all. The game is VERY long for a platformer, WITH PRACTICE, i beat the game in 26 hours and 55 minutes. So you will get a good game length. As for difficulty, this game jumps a LOT. One mission my be brutally difficult but the next one will be super easy. Certain missions like getting to the end of an area with no guns while people are shooting at you are brutally difficult while shutting off 4 generators is easy. The game can seem to drag at points, when i got to the 18 hour mark i was constantly checking the time asking "WHEN WILL IT END?!" and didnt realize i still had 7-8 more hours of gameplay. The game controls fine, just like the first game. Nothing really is wrong with the controls.
Gameplay - 14/20
Controls - 14/20

Music
Its nice, nothing amazing but nice. One complaint is that when you are sighted by the cops the song changes and you hear that song too often.
10/20

Overall
This is the game in the series that most fans dislike. I cna see why, it is nothing like the original and the sequel to an E rated game being T because of a lot of "Damns!" and "Hell!" and stuff makes it not appeal to as many people, if you like platformers and 3rd eprson shooters, i'd reccomend it. Just know what you're getting yourself into: A good looking and long game that drags at points and has some difficulty issues,.
64/100

Umbreon
11-21-2014, 01:53 AM
http://s.hswstatic.com/gif/playstation-sonyps3.jpg

This wee'ks gonna be a bit different. Instead of discussing a single game or game series, im going to over my history with a specific console. Basicaly an overview on a console and very short reviews of games i played as a kid that may or may not get full reviews one day. When i was young, i was poor (Like i am now) So when i did gaming, i was always a generation or two back. So when the cool kids on the block had the 'brand new' Gamecube and PS2 I had my N64 and Playstation 1. Playstation was the one i probably played most, so ill cover that first and save the others for next time. First, a bit of history about the Playstation. In the year 1993, Sony came to Nintendo asking if they could make a CD Add on for the SNES called the Play Station. Nintendo said yes. After getting about halfway done, Sony pretty much said:: "Yo, Nintendo. We get 75% of the profits off this thing" To which Nintendo replied - "No, Fuk u". So Nintendo made a deal with Phillips behind Sony's back to make their own special console, the Nintendo CD-I, the Deal was never finalized, Sony found out and stopped the deal with Nintendo. Because of a contract issue, Phillips had the rights to make games from Nintendo's franchises. (Dont worry ill probably cover the CD-I games at some point but....not now). Sony then made their own console in 1995. Because the name Play Station was technically copyrighted by Nintendo because of the earlier deal, they decided to call it the Playstation. Imagine if the deal went through...PS2 and 3 and 4 probably wouldnt exist :p Games for the system were CD's, which were new for the time. And the original cases were way too fucking big, but thats not important. This was the system that taught me to take care of my games and to keep the boxes and cases. The design of the system is nice, but simple. It bring so much memories back seeing this thing. The lens you couldnt touch, the symbol that catches your eye and that nostalgic start up screen and noise. The controller is so...basic. No dualshock analog sticks (At least not on the original), the grey color scheme, ect. The system uses Memory Cards which, again, was a new thing. nobody knew what the fuck they were for at the time, so they might have played 8 hours of Final Fantasy 7 and went to bed and woke up to all their progress being gone. When i got my system, it came with a memory card thankfully. Another thing about the console is that it is LOUD. If your disc has a scratch on it, the system will be loud as fuck. I got the system in 2000, i think. It was a bundle deal that came with a memory card, controller and 2 games: Ape Escape and Tarzan. I guess thats where i start. If you already saw my review of Ape Escape 1, the original is pretty much the same. The same weird concept and controls, the same fun gameplay, ect. It was the first PS1 game i ever played and its a weird one to start with, i guess. You're a kid who has to capture monkeys because an evil monkey aqquired a helmet to make his inteligence increase. Its a fun little game, nice environments, replayability, fun items and weapons, its just a nice little game. Tarzan, on the other hand, is about as meh as you cna get. The game looks nice, yeah, but the overall gameplay is a generic, basic, and boring platformer without much appeal. After that, im not sure where to go...Lets start with Racing games i guess. I mostly played 3 Racing games on the PS1: Motor Toon Racing, Crash Team Racing, and Lego Racers. Motor Toon Grand Prix . Motor Toon Grand Prix Is a nice little cart racer, a mario kart clone, but still nice. The environments were well designed, the weapons were okay, and the graphics were bright and colorful. It had a decent amount of tracks and racers, too. One flaw: The only way to play multiplayer was with a Link Cable. That means you needed 2 TV's, the cable, 2 Playstations, and 2 Copies of the game. THAT is bullshit. And since nobody plays kart racers for the single player, the game wares its welcome pretty damn fast. Crash Team Racing, on the other hand, is great. Its got familiar characters from the series as racers, its tracks are well designed, it looks great for the time, and its overall a solid kart racer. Better than Mario Kart 64 IMO. It just had more options and was more fun (How many enemies have i made with that statement? :D) Lego Racers is a neat IDEA but....the execution is lacking majorly. The concept of building your own karts is nice but....the power ups are lack luster. Its got your basic stuff, your missiles and bombs and oil slicks, but...There's a power up thgat lets you skip half the track and it just bland. Theres not much to it, ya know? If it wasn't Racing, I was playing the Namco Museum games (I only had N, M, And C :c) They were decent collections of Arcade classics and the way i was firstm introduced to stuff like Galaga and Pac Man. Now a days, if you think about Music games, you'll probably think about DDR or Rock Band or Guitar Hero, but does anyone remember Parappa The Rapper? That shit was off the hook, yo (Ill never speak like that again, sorry...). It was the pioneer of rythem and music based gameplay. It had memorable quotes, nice music, a fun art style, and a fun sense of humor. Now adays, its nothing special but back in the day it was great. For fighting games, i didnt have much. Just Tekken 2. I dont remember playing it THAT much, but i remember it being a decent fighter for the time. No, if i wanted to get my anger out or beat the shit out of people i did it with cars. Twisted Metal 2, hell yeah. That game was great. Destroying Cars and blowing shit up with guns and missles. Its fucking great. If it wasnt that, it was Vigilante 8, which is technically a better game. Its got destructable environments and the explosions look better but it lacked the arena and car variety Twisted Metal had. But, like you could tell, I played Platformers a lot. Croc was one i liked as a kid but now that im older, i can see its flaws. Its amazing looking and the music is fucking gold but....the level design can be bland at times and the controls are very stiff. Croc moves like a tank which can take some getting used to. Its a decent game but....meh...If it wasnt Croc, it was Spyro or Crash. I already covered Spyro before, but i will reitterate: Spyro 1 is meh. Its good but you have no reason to play it after you've played 2 and 3. Spyro 2 is fucking amazing. Spyro 3 Used to be my favorite game of all time and even now its easily in my top 5. It just has a few bullshit moments that make it frustrating at times, ya know? Gex was another one i played a lot, mostly 2 and 3. I already covered these 2 games recently, so i dont see much of a point in covering them again so recent after covering 3. I also had Pac Man World. The sequel is better but..wew'll go over that soon enough. When i didnt want bloodshed or didnt want to murder or go through platforming challenges, Tetris Plus is how i spent my time. Not much to say, its Tetris. The 2 player mode made playing with friends a great time. If i wanted good old Arcadde style fun, Tony Hawk was the game for me. Again, i already covered it but...its a great time. Kick ass soundtrack, Fast paced Arcade fun, and greta levels. Its a blast. When i was younger, i was into yugioh so, of course, i had Yugioh: Forbidden Memories. Sure it had nothing to do with the anime....and played nothing like yugioh...and was boring as fuck...okay, yeah this game sucks. It sucked back then and it sucks now. Its just a meh expirience. Other than that, I played Megaman X5 and X6 (I Will get to those some day D: ) So i wont say much about those....I had a few licensed games too. I had a Toy Story 2 game that was decent enough. It was an actual GOOD licensed gamd D: I also played Rugrats as a kid. Its a basic mini game collection/platformer but...now a days theres not much reason to play it. I also remember Scooby Doo: Cyberchase. Its....okay. its a shameless Crash clone with blh controls and a bad weapon. The level designs arent too interesting, and the music is forgettable. At this point im starting to ramble so...bleh. Ill stop it here. The late 90's was a great time to be a gamer. It was one of the most expirimental eras of gaming, companies took risks. Unlike today, where 90% of games are FPS or Strategy RPG's. We've come a long way, people. So, if you like me doing this then let me know and ill do more eventually.

Umbreon
11-27-2014, 03:01 AM
Review will be out tomorrow, but ill set this up early! Choose a theme for December pls! Voting ends December 5th! :3
http://strawpoll.me/3074211

Umbreon
11-29-2014, 05:33 AM
http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Daily/2011/02-Feb/14/Gatsby%20NES/gatsby--article_image.jpg

ITS STILL FRIDAY SOMEWHERE DAMMIT!,,....I hope....ANYWAYS...idunno much about the book or the films but....

Story
The game follows the book,.....ithink....its made to be like an NES game so im not sure....anyways....From what ranger said it follows the book really well. I cant really tell seeing a ive never read the book or watched the film so...I wouldnt know. The game itself doesnt really explain anything for newcomers, Ive never read/watched the great gatsby and all they really show is short cinematics. I know its supposed to be like an NES game but....Mega Man has more of a story than this and they arent limited by NES limitations so its not like they couldnt have added more dialogue. I honestly dont know how to review this...its close to the book, which is great. But it explains nothing, which is bad. Im not gonna read the book or watch the movie or read wikipedia so ill get the story to a flash game, im sorry.
10/20

Graphics
The game looks pretty nice for a fan game. The colors are nice, the environments look pretty, and the cutscenes look like they were from a 1980's game but still look good and have a nice charm to the, ya know? Im not gonna give them extra super bonus points for being a fan game, but it looks nice regardless. Its no masterpiece or anything, but the style they go for and the design of everything is well done.
15/20

Gameplay/Controls
Its your basic platformer stuff, get from one end to the other. Your character can jump and shoot and all that good stuff. The weapon takes some getting used to. It moves in a kind of circular motion so you have to get used to the awkward-ness of it all. Its not like Mega Man or Samus, you cant shoot straight. Other than that, theres not much to say. Its your basic 2D platformer. My only real complaint is the length and the fact that if you get a game over, you start the whole game over.. I played this game blind and beat it in around 15 minutes and thats WITH like 2 game voers.. There is a no death run where you get a secret ending but...no. Im not doing that. The controls are nice, but take some getting used to. Arrow Keys to move are fine and Z to attack throwsw me off. When i emulate games on my computer my set up is usually arrow keys to move, Z to jump, and X to attack, this game has Z attack and Spacebar to jump, which threw me off but thats jsut me.
Gameplay - 13/20
Controls - 13/20

Music
SO DAMN REPETITIVE. Its because its a fan game, I know but still...its so repetitive. Every song feels and sounds the same and ugh....bleh.
8/20

Overall
A 15 minute, nice looking, decent game. I reccomend trying it, since its so short.
60/100

rangernumberx
11-29-2014, 06:06 AM
Hey, I never said it followed the book closely. I think it could be described as a speed run through the novel, which goes with the short time the game takes to complete. Also, I'd like to point out the first boss (found in world two, set in the Valley of the Ashes) are the eyes/glasses of T.J. Eckleburg, an optician. Sorry, let me make that clearer. YOU FIGHT WHAT IS ONLY SEEN ON A BILLBOARD IN THE NOVEL. Then again, it represents the eyes of God in a religion-less country, so I guess the battle has metaphorical significance. There are enough enemy types to keep things interesting, going from dancers and butlers who just walk towards you, to drunks who drink and then throw their bottles in a regular pattern, to conductors who speed towards you as soon as you're on their platform, to ghost soldiers who jump as soon as you shoot at them. Yes, ghost soldiers. As you might have guessed, this is a very literal interpretation of the book.

Anyway, the graphics on the title screen are a great match to the original cover of the book, and it includes some quotes straight from the book (such as your first meeting with the guy who's obsessed with the books, from the first Gatsby party in the novel). It does have some things in the wrong order (such as meeting Gatsby at the party, and then seeing him stretch out for the green light for one example), but this is meant as a supplement for those who have read the book, so I think that's excusable (with that in mind, the book becomes the main story in this. With it being as often greatly praised as it is shunned, I think a middle of the road rating is fair).

I understand what you say about the music, but while I find the lack of a Charleston in the first level disappointing but understandable because of copyright, I think it's a good enough and fitting backdrop for each level. Also, the controls are even weirder when in full screen (tab to shoot? This is madness!), but that's about all I can add. I still think it's a fair rating, though, and I'd recommend it to anyone with time to waste.

Umbreon
12-05-2014, 02:21 AM
Mario Month wins...

yaaaay.....ugh

Mario 1's review will be up tomorrow...

Umbreon
12-05-2014, 05:23 PM
It's a go time!

http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120819173859/nintendo/en/images/a/ac/2-in-1_Super_Mario_Bros._and_Duck_Hunt.jpg


yaaaay.....i get to play mario again...joy...im not that excited for this, ive only beaten the game once or twice with warp zones so i dont think i can do the game justice but....here we go...Mario bros! *Sigh* and a quick review of duck hunt....Mario's been everywhere. From cereal to cartoons to movies to figurines to plushies to candy, he's everywhere. He is, arguably, the best known video game character of all time. If you ask a random person on the street who Mario is, they could probably tell you. So let's see how the plumber got his start. First, history! In the 80's Nintendo made a game called Donkey Kong. You played as Jumpman (Later renamed Mario) and you must get through and obstacle course to save your girlfriend from a giant monkey. Today, the game is basic. Good, but nothing amazing ya know? But back then it was considered 'The Shit'. Miyamoto wanted to make another Mario game so he made Mario Bros. a basic but fun game. But thats not what we're talking about here.

Story
An evil wizard named King Koopa has kidnapped princess Toadstool and has turned all the Toads in the world to stone blocks (So every time you break a brick block in Mario, you're klling a Toad? Destroy every fucking block you see, please...annoying fuckers.....) You are an italian plumber named Super Mario (Apparently Super is his first name) and you find out she's kidnapped and go through land after land to rescue the bitch so you can get a cake or something. Not much has changed since the 1980's, eh? Its your basic Mario plot, but gets bonus points because they let me have the mindset that im murdering the Toads as I play. From a realistic standpoint, you're a plumber who jumps on evil creatures to save some dumbass bitch with the personality of a cardboard box from a giant turtle dragon who breathes fire. Mario's never been about story, but the gameplay is usually amazing. I cant think of any mario game I dont like *Couch*Sunshine*cough*. So, the story may be bland but lets see the gameplay.
12/20

Graphics
For NES standards, it looks great. The backgrounds are nice and pretty, the sprites are pretty decent, and theres little to no slow down or flickering. By today's standards, its not that great obviously, but back for the 80's it looked great. Everything is nice, doesnt strain on the eyes, and its easy to tell where Mario and the enemies are.
14/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is your basic mario stuff, move from point A to point B and go through 8 worlds. Use the D-Pad to move, B to run/shoot, A to jump, ect. Throuought your journey you can find coins, and collecting 100 of them gets you an extra life. You'll need this seeing as a Game Over makes you start at the beginning of the damn game. NO saving, NO continues. 31 levels of hell. Backtracking is impossible, the screen locks behind you. Think of it as an invisible wall is following you. There are countless times where i could have survived but didnt because I couldnt go back. Thats bullshit. Eh, might as well talk about 2 player...One person controls Mario and the other Luigi. When one player dies, the other gets a chance to play. The level design itself is linear. Theres not alternate paths or anything. Now to talk about Warp Zones. At the end of 1-2 you can go over the exit pipe and find 3 pipes to other worlds. If you go to World 4 and beat 4-1, at the beginning of 4-2 you can find a block you can hit to take you to another warp room to world 8. You can beat this game in about 10 minutes if you know what you're doing. Also, FUCK HAMMER BROS.The last boss of this game isnt Bowser, its that fucking Hammer Bro right before him. They're patters are so fucking speratic and beating them without hitting a block under them is fucking horrible! Thats a common problem with the game, sadly. The enemy placement can be a mess. It gets too hard at points because the enemies are put in dick-ish places. When you beat the game, you unlock a second quest. Its just the same game but the enemies are faster and more brutal. Another problem is controls. They get really finnicky when you go fast and Mario's jump feels stiff at times. Not Castlevania stiff, but stiff enough to notice. Mario carries a lot of momentum, too much. If you're running it can take a few seconds before he comes to a full stop, which can dick you over.
Gameplay - 15
Controls - 10/20

Music
Do i even need to say it? If i asked you to hum the mario bros. theme, odds are you can do it. Same with the underground theme and the boss theme and the end level theme. The songs are REALLY short and repetitive but they're iconic and catchy. Im not sure how to feel about it. It doesnt annoy me that they're short but I can see how they'd annoy another person.
15/20

Overall
Its aged okay but theres no real reason to go back to the original with the later games being an option but...ill get to those later. The difficulty may catch you off guard but its still a fine enough game.
71/100


Now for duck hunt....

Story
There is none

Graphics
As basic as you can get. Blue sky and grass, thats pretty much it. The sprite of the dog looks nice for NES standards but the rest looks okay at best.
10/20

Gameplay/Controls
The gameplay is an arcade style shooter. Shoot every duck you can and try not to miss much. If you miss, that fucking dog laughs in your face. FUCK YOU DOG! FUCK YOU!....Anyways....If you miss a couple of ducks, its game over. Theres no real levels or anything, its just the same thing over and over again. Its fun as a small distraction, but nothing much more. Its just a distraction. Theres no controls, instead you use the Light Gun. the gun is decently responsive and doesnt fuck up too much.
Gameplay - 10/20
Controls - 13/20

Music
There is none. Instead its a loud gunshot sound effect thats annoying and that damn laugh thats annoying. I usually play the game on mute honestly.
7/20

Katz
12-05-2014, 05:46 PM
but Urembeon, Thess gamse r CLASIK, r u a hator of Nutendo?

Umbreon
12-05-2014, 06:15 PM
but Urembeon, Thess gamse r CLASIK, r u a hator of Nutendo?

1V1 ME IRL U FEGT A$$ BECH
In all seriousness...Mario 1 is still worst 2D mario game except Hotel mario and Lost Levels :p

Katz
12-05-2014, 06:46 PM
1V1 ME IRL U FEGT A$$ BECH
In all seriousness...Mario 1 is still worst 2D mario game except Hotel mario and Lost Levels :p

Phillips...
CDI...

BrineBlade
12-06-2014, 04:55 PM
wanna do a teamup for one of the reviews?

Umbreon
12-06-2014, 06:03 PM
wanna do a teamup for one of the reviews?

I got the mario games covered in terms of reviews, but if you wanna collab on a review when the mario stuff is done, sure. Never did a collab before so sounds interesting. Ill send you a list of games I own at some ponit so we can choose what to review.

Umbreon
12-09-2014, 10:33 PM
SO you guys are gonna get 2 reviews on the week of Christmas, the mario one and this one. Because I dont know of any christmas games....Ill just review something you guys want. Just tell me if theres anything you guys want me to review. It doesnt really even have to be a review it can be a retrospective kinda thing like I did with Playstation. So yeah, anything you guys want as long as I own it or its on NES/SNES/GBC/GBA.

EDIT: Added a list of my games to the first post

Umbreon
12-10-2014, 05:15 AM
Because its the holidays, lets celebrate commercialism! So, in no particular order, here are 10 video game commercials i like :3


Yoshi's Island GBA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRUdX-V5Ah8



You Cant Defeat Us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta0DlcxyY5M



Zelda Rap & Zelda KPop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI3rO3PbYOo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjpHzLYHkwA



Luigi's Mansion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmFCSc-iXBo



Pac Man World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS0pU87lpX0



Super Smash Bros.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K783SDTBKmg



Super Mario Kart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FnXlcpG0LQ



Super Mario World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azpSVs0e6qM



Wii Would Rike To Pray
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p7uJp25BlE



Atari Jaguar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxuna944dls

Umbreon
12-12-2014, 04:16 AM
So Mario was a big hit so it got a sequel! This game wasnt released in America. From what I can tell, the reason was that at the time Japanese gamers had more skill than American gamers and since the Japanese thought this game was too damn difficult, they figured americans would find it impossible. So instead they took a game called Doki Doki Panic and added Mario Characters, then slapped on the name Mario 2. We wouldnt get the real mario 2 until All-Stars, where it is called Mario 2: Lost Levels so....yeah. Lets take a look at both and see which is the better game. Lets start with Lost Levels.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b5/Mariobros2japanbox.jpg/250px-Mariobros2japanbox.jpg

Story
The same as the first game.
12/20

Graphics
The game doesnt look much better than the first but doesnt look worse either. Its overall the same. It gets a bonus point or two for making flicker happen a bit less often but...yea. It also gets a bonus point for making textures a bit less simple.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
You can play as either Mario or Luigi. Mario behaves exactly as he did in Mario 1. He can run, jump, stomp on enemies ect. The overall control and feel to it is the same as Mario 1. I wish they updated it and made it better but...whatever,....Luigi, on the other hand, is someone you never want to play as. EVER. He jumps higher and farther but his traction is horrible. its like every level has ice physics. The game requires percision and pixel perfect platforming so...Never choose Luigi unless the game somehow isnt hard enough. The overall goal is the same. Get from point A to point B and touch the flagpole at the end. So you'd assume id give it the same score as the first game? One problem....THIS GAME IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. Its...ugh....It has some of the worst designs...some of the worst ideas...some of the most dickish enemy placement. The Virtual Console has this game for around 5 bucks and that is WAY TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE FOR SOMETHING THIS BAD. Anyways, Introduced in this game are Posion Mushrooms. Its basically an enemy you cant kill. Fire Flowers and Mushrooms return, not that you'll be able to use them since you get hit every 2 fucking seconds by something that isnt your fault. There arent any new enemies, just recolors of old ones that are pretty much just faster or better than the originals. Not much to say. In the first game, Hammer Bros. were horribly difficult enemies. In this one THEY'RE TEN TIMES WORSE. They dont turn around. In other words, they follow you. Theres no real strategy to them you just have to get fucking lucky and thats just the fucking beginning! If its not horrible enemies or dickish obstacles its some of the most awkward and difficult level design ive ever seen. A lot of jumps in this game are pixel perfect.World 8 Stages in the last game are easier than world 1 stages here! AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER! (Insert Dick Joke Here). Theres no fucking second chances. Its either you make the jump and you die. Lose all your lives? Do the whole world again! Id reccomend using the live trick to farm lives. The game also introduces Invisible blocks. They arent too bad here but NOTHING tells you they exist! With the bleh controls from the first game and the shit level design here, this is the worst mario game By FAR. I hate sunshine, yeah. but this is a million times worse....Another thing is fake warp zones. These are fucking horrible. You get to them thinking they'll take you to world 8 but NOOOOO they take you to World 1! WHO DOES THAT?! Unlike the first game, where if you beat it once you'll have a much better time the next playthrough, NO ammount of memorization will help you here. Im fine with hard games, but they have to be FAIR. and this? This isnt! *Sigh* now to talk about World A. You know what you have to do to unlock World A? Guess....Give up? BEAT THE GAME EIGHT TIMES IN A ROW WITHOUT TURNING OFF THE SYSTEM. EIGHT FUCKING TIMES. NO BREAKS, JUST BEATING THE GAME EIGHT FUCKING TIMES. I CANT EVEN BEAT IT ONCE! Controls get less than Mario 1 did because the design is so shit these contrtols are horrible since they dont fit the design.
Gameplay - 8/20
Controls - 8/20

Music
Same exact soundtrack as the first.
15/20

Overall
It looks like Mario, Controls like Mario, Plays like Mario, but this shit aint mario. This is...horrible. Shit design, shit enemy placement, its just....horrible. Ive never beaten it and I never will. Fuck this game.
59/100



Lets see if USA is better (Spoilers: YES)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/00/Super_Mario_Bros_2.jpg/250px-Super_Mario_Bros_2.jpg

Story
Something semi different! Mario falls asleep one night and dreams of a magical staircase to the clouds. he follows it and when he reaches the top he finds The World of Subcon. He quickly finds out that an evil frog named Wart (Who never appears in another game except for Link's Awakening for some reason) has taken over the kingdom. So Mario, Toad, Luigi, and Peach all head out to stop the evil Wart and save Subcon. Its a bit more complex than the original games so ti gets a better score than 1 and Lost Levels.
14/20

Graphics
The game is much more detailed and nice looking than 1 or Lost Levels. For an 8-Bit game, it looks great.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
Much different? Nah...Lets go over whats the same. The overall controls and concept are the same. However, the controls are a bit less stiff! They're still stiff but its not as noticable. Other than that, mostly everything is changed. Killing enemies this time is done by throwing shit at it. Veggies, Pow Blocks, Rocks, ect. You can even pick up the bodies of other enemies and throw them at each other! Yay! Also buried in the ground are Extra Lives and Koopa Shells, which are nice. You can find potions that make doors apppear when you throw them. Go through it and it will take you to a dark version of the level. If you're lucky, you can find Mushrooms in these areas. They dont act like they did in the original, what they do is expand your health bar. Yes, you actually have a health bar in this game. You can also find coins, which lets you access a slot machine mini game when you beat a stage. Across the levels are cherries, collect 5 of them and you get a starman, which behaves like it always has. While the concept is overall the same, getting from point A to point B, instead of touching a flagpole at the end you have to pick up an egge and use it to open a bird's mouth. Every stage has some kind of boss fight. its either Birdo or another random monster. To beat Birdo you pick up the eggs she vomits at you and throw them back at her. Later on she starts vomiting fire balls but...nothing changes much. None of the original enemies are here. No goombas or Koopas or Pirhana Plants. Instead we got Pokeys, Bob-Ombs, Shy Guys, Tweeters, and Ninjis plus more. Its nice in terms of variety but most of these enemies are exactly the sam as the other. These are really fucking boring enemies. Besides Sparks and Panzers, there isnt much of a threat in this game. Most of the enemies in this game dor eturn in later games and they're much better there. The boss fights are mroe interesting but not by much. The final Boss is Wart. And his attack? Shooting bubbles ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFs3lOqr1UE ) He is pretty damn easy, especiall as Peach. As for the characters.....Mario is balanced. He pretty much is the basic character, he controls and feels like he did in Mario 1 and Lost Levels. Toad is the fastest but he jumps the lowest and he picks up items faster, Luigi has bad traction but can jump higher than the others, and Peach can glide to other locations. Its really helpful. Every character had the same gameplay style but feels a bit different and thats a plus. As for controls, its similar to the last 2 games. The only real changes are the super jump, which you can do by holding down, and the fact that all the characters' acceleration is really fucking fast. The level design is okay. The desert level is kinda meh (I hate sand, its coarse and rough and it gets everywhere!) but overall its okay.
Gameplay - 16/20
Controls - 12/20


Music
Its good, as good as the originals i'd say. Its got the same problem of being too short but...its still good.
15/20

Overall
MUCH BETTER. Its better than 1 IMO. Im glad we got this game instead. Fuck Lost Levels.
73/100

Umbreon
12-29-2014, 02:27 AM
UPDATES!:
- Reviews might be back tomorrow!
- I might do some crossover type stuff with forumers!
- New reviews every friday!
- Top 10's and Editorial type things may pop up at random!
- I overuse exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BobbyBobber
01-02-2015, 09:26 AM
You should review Shovel Knight, if not Sonic Boom.

BBC7
01-02-2015, 02:46 PM
What's considered a good mark here? The games I consider masterpieces are getting 70's at best, it makes me sad. Unless a 70/100 is how Jirachibi says 95/100 or something like that.

Umbreon
01-05-2015, 02:08 AM
Because no review for a while, a quick thing about my thoughts on Omega Ruby:

Idk, It may be because I played Ruby and Emerald the most of any pokemon game or because I did a playthrough of Ruby a month ago but...I didnt have much fun. With Y, I marathoned it. I couldnt put it down, y'know? With this I pretty much played it for 10 minutes a day and said "Eh, thats enough for today" and put it down for a while. Iv'e never done that with a pokemon game before. Maybe I found it too easy? I didnt use the Exp. Share and I STILL destroyed everyone easily without ever losing a battle or a pokemon fainting often. Maybe I didnt think they changed enough? One of the reasons people didnt want a Gen 3 remake is because Gen 3 is fine on its own. Gen 1 needed a remake because Getting Kanto pokemon was hard and so much has changed since then. Gen 2 needed one because it had a lot of problems that needed to be fixed. Not much has changed since Gen 3 outside of the physical/Special split. Gen 3 didnt really need a remake like Gen 1 and 2 did. Maybe I was overhyped? I love gen 3 so i was kind of super excited for this and I waited a month in anticipation for the games since they came out and everyone on Facebook and Twitter was like "BEST POKEMON GAMES EVER!" and "By FAR the best in the series" So i was over excited, I guess. I just didnt find it very enjoyable, i still like it more than Gen 4 and 2 and its still a perfectly fine game on its own, I just...didnt have much of an enjoyable time. So what im gonna do is start over and try doing a Catch 'em All run and a Wonder Trade run and see if that makes it more enjoyable. At the moment, final thoughts are: Its okay, but I didnt enjoy it as much as Y.

Umbreon
01-09-2015, 01:09 AM
What do you mean im a few weeks late? Well dont fucking blame me, but since i can access a computer, lets finish this mario marathon. Its time for Mario Bros. 3. The game that Nintendo wont stop worshiping and rereleasing. A lot of people dont like the game as much now because of all the damn rereleases and level design copies in the newer mario games. That aside, this game did fucking amazing when it was released and is often considered one of the best games ever made. Lets see if it lives up to that reputation. *Insert The Wizard joke here*

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a5/Super_Mario_Bros._3_coverart.png/250px-Super_Mario_Bros._3_coverart.png

Story
Guess. Just...guess. Bowser kidnaps princess? Nah, Bowser turns the kings on 7 different lands into animals and enemies and unleashes the Koopa Kids to take control of the worlds. Mario must go from land to land and collect magical orbs to turn the kings back. Then, Bowser kidnaps princess Peach. So....uh....At least they waited to have her get kidnapped? Anyways, the story isnt amazing or anything but im glad they decided to do something at least a little different. Its not amazing writing or anything, but still.
14/20

Graphics
Amazing by NES standards, the game looks fucking great. Little to no slow down, great design variety, and everything looks nice.
16/20

Gameplay/Controls
Unlike American Mario 2, Mario 3 follows the basic formula of the first game and improves it in every aspect. Go from point A to point B, use power ups, beat bosses, ect. There are 8 worlds with the most creative names in the history of creative names: Grass Land, Desert Land, Ocean Land, Big Land, The Sky, Ice Land Pipe Land, and Dark Land. Well, in Japan they're called Grass Land, Desert Hill, Ocean Side, Big Island, The Sky, Ice Land, Pipe Maze,and Darkland. Each world has a world map with multiple things. The levels, of course. But there's also Mushroom Houses, where you can get free items that you can use before entering a level, Hammer Bros., which are mini bosses that award you with a prize. Matching Spaces, where you can play a matching game to score lives and power ups. And a slot machine where you can get more lives. They add a bit more variety to the game, so I dont mind them. Other than that, you can also find Treasure Ships and White Houses. White Houses appear when you collect a certain amount of coins in specific levels so...good luck with that. As for the ship, *Sigh* You have to Morph a wandering hammer brother into a treasure ship. To turn a wandering hammer brother (the ones that walk about on the world map) into a white ship full of coins, collect a number of coins that is a multiple of 11. Make the tens digit in your score match the multiple of 11. Stop the timer at the end of the stage that you are playing in on an even number.One combination would be: 11 coins, 9,310 as your score, and the timer at 104. This only works in worlds 1, 3, 5, and 6. First off, How the FUCK would ANYONE figure that out?! Second, how DID anyone figure that out?! Third, you know that bullshit theories like getting Pikablu by doing obscure shit? Yeah, this is where those things came from. Games actually did shit like that. Anyways, The game is much longer than the previous games. As you go on the worlds get longer and longer but...the levels dont. A lot of levels last around 30-40 seconds so a world may have 13+ levels but that doesnt mean much. New gimmicks include Auto Scrolling, which I fucking hate, and ghost levels. Every world also has at least 1 foretress, which are pretty much just mini bosses. Instead of lowerign a flagpole at the end of levels you instead have to hit a slot machine thing at the end of the level. When you do, you get a card. Get 3 cards and you get a 1up, get 3 matching cards and you get even more lives. A problem I have with the game is that mario seems really floaty, which can cause you to overshoot jumps. Its not really THAt big of an issue but...its still an issue. This is the first game where you can hold Koopa shells, so thats kinda neat. As for powerups, the Fire Flower is the same as always but they added a lot. The Racoon Suit lets you fly if you run fast enough, the Frog suit is fucking pointless, the Kuriboh's Shoe (Insert Yugioh joke here) is cool but only is used in 1 level, and the Hammer Bros. suit is fucking broken since it can kill anything. There's also the rare Tanooki suit, which is the same as the Racoon Suit but allows you to turn into an invincable stone statue. There's also the P-Wing, which lets you fly forever in the level you use it in. Along your journey, you can discover the Warp Whistle, which lets you skip worlds but...where's the fun in that? D: On the world map, you can use items you are holding on to before you enter levels. Which is something that wouldnt be brought back until Mario Bros. Wii. Its a neat idea. In terms of enemies, they are pretty much the same as they were in the old game. We also get new ones like Boos, Thwomps, Roto-Discs, Spikes, Firesnakes, The Sun, Chain-Chomps, and Cannonballs. The enemy variety is really nice and allows for variety. The controls are nice but, like I said, floaty. Other than that, its nice. It feels fine but...I prefer World's controls, but ill get to that later.
Gameplay - 18/20
Controls - 16/20

Music
Do I even need to say? Amazing, probably the best known mario soundtrack other than the original. Almsot every track is really nice.
17/20

Overall
One of the best. A tad over rated but still an amazing game. If you havent played it yet, play it. Its practically public domain at this point, you can play the NES version, the SNES remake, the GBA version, the virtual console version, the Wii version, the 3DS version, the DSi Version, or emulate. Play it :3
81/100

Now, I wanna know. Should I do Mario World next or just end the mario marathon here?

Umbreon
01-10-2015, 12:21 AM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/53/I-Ninja.jpg/256px-I-Ninja.jpg

Time for bad lip sync and kung fu, its I-Ninja! Ill be covering the PS2 version, but the XBox and Gamecube versions are the same ithink. Also, since its the first real review of the year, im getting rid of the scoring system, ill still give the games a final score, dont know how though. Dunno if im gonna do a letter grade or whatever but...for now, ill just have no scoring system until i figure it out. So...Uh..welcome to my new style, i guess? Im sorry I didnt get to Mario World and All-Stars as I planned. Mid to late December was rough for me and I just didnt have time. Ill review them at some point, promise. Back on topic, Ninjas are fucking awesome and beat Pirates any day of the week (YEAH, I SAID IT) and will probably always be popular. We got ninja cartoons and comics and movies and anime and mangas and games. Most of the time, Ninja games are bleh. Just trying to get kids to buy the game because "OMG NINJA!!!!!!". Is I-Ninja an actual good game or is it another mediocre ninja game?

Story
You play as Ninja. (Yes, thats his name). After accidentilly killing your Sensei, named Sensei ))(CREATIVE NAMES GALORE!) Sensei comes back as a ghost and tells Ninja that there are more Rage Stones and with their power, he can defeat O-Dor. Sensei then sends Ninja to find the second Rage Stone in Robot Beach. Ninja then arrives at Robot Beach. After that, you start your epic journey. For a PS2 platformer, its fine. Cant really talk about the full story, ill explain why later, but yeah. Its perfectly fine. The game has decent writing too. They go for a kind of saturday morning cartoon type style with the humor and it works well because of the art style. The characters are cliche: Ninja is a stereotypical badass "I dont care" type character and Sensei is a crazy old man cliche. They have charm, though. And the voice acting works well for what they're going for.

Gameplay
The game was released after a huge explosion of platofmers on the PS1 and N64, so it borrows a lot of elements from classic 3D platformers. A bug hub world with smaller levels in them and you progress and unlock more levels by collecting stuff, in this case: Grades. Collect enough and you can go to a boss, beat the boss and you can go to the next world. Simple stuff. You get grades by beating levels and missions and bosses. Collecting enough will upgrade your belt and give you more abilities and allow you to unlock more levels. The levels themselves are good (At least early on). They arent too long, arent too short, and are varied and fun to go through. They all have gimmicks that dont feel pointless and dont distract from the gameplay, making each level feel unique. You know, stuff like chasing a lit fuse and riding on barrels with TNT in them and stuff. The bosses are pretty good too. They arent really fights, more like...mini games. Using a turret to destroy an air ship or controlling a giant robot, for example. They are challenging enough without being too tough and are designed well. They're also decent distractions so the game isnt all platforming. The game also has a decent combo system. Im usually turned off to beat 'em ups since 99.9999999% of the time they're "Press the attack button to win" but this game actually has combos and stuff. Circle and square both attack and the combos flow well during battle. You can do stuff like throwing enemies in the air and slashing them and its jsut a nice combo system. There's even little mini bosses in levels where you are flying in the air and slashing at each other and its just so awesome. If you dont feel like using your sword you can also shoot shurikens and poison darts, so you have choices to attack enemies. And then you get to the third world and you HATE EVERYTHING. Okay, I have a lot of complaints. First, the platforming is awesome and the combat is great but they dont mix well at all. The platforming is fast but the combat is slow, you try to speed through every level and you cant because of killing enemies all the time. Second, you know how I said the levels are not too long and not too short? Yeah, they stop being good now. Levels require a lot of grades later on so at times you have to play levels 2-3 times and they start to drag horribly. You want to move on but then you cant and you're like "Oh...I guess ill do 12+ time trials and enemy rushes to get more grades..." and you just play the stages over again and it gets so damn boring and repetitive. It also gets so fucking hard and annoying. Every time you get a new belt, it requires more belts than the last one. This forces you to redo entire worlds just to get enough grades to move on. If these grades were optional, that'd be one thing but forcing the player to do the same thing over and over again is horrible. The levels later on also get WAY too big and they drag on and on and on and the second you're finished, you sigh in relief. Then, you remember "Oh shit, I have to redo that level entirely with a time limit!" or "I have to do it over again and find red coins..." and its just SO BORING. At first the levels are 4-6 minutes max but later on they get to 30+ minutes and having to redo it again just seems like shitty padding. Also, FUCK RED COINS. In Mario 64 or Sunshine, they are fine. But here...they are hidden in dickish places. I understand doing something like having a hidden room you can see and have to find out how to get to but this is shit like being in a HUGE room and having to break 20+ barrels just to find ONE coin. And in later stages, checkpoints can be scarce. Not as bad as Ratchet and Clank 1 or Jak II but....still pretty bad.

Controls
Amazing. They nail it perfectly. You dont feel to floaty or heavy, controls are responsive, button choices are fine, and they're just great. At this point, its kinda impossible to fuck up controls in a 3D game *chough*Sonic06*cough* and the developers seem to be expirienced enough to make the controls work really well. I cant think of anything really bad to say about it. Double jumping, wall jumping, wall running, hovering, attacking, they all feel great. The movement isnt stiff and it jsut works well.

Graphics
It looks great. They go for a cel shaded comic book feel like the Sly Cooper games to fit with the cartoony humor but they also make it feel dark to fit with the ninja theme. The designs for levels are dark but they are still varied. The game looks overall pretty nice. The animation is nice too, if you attack someone behind you the character does a back lunge and it little things like that make the attacks look different and the models look and animate pretty well.

Music
Nothing special but nothing horrible either. Not much to say, its alright.

Overall
I feel so bad....These developers obviously knew how to do good controls and level design but...they fucked it up. If they made the levels shorter and made only half of the grades be required it would have been fine. At first, you have a lot of fun. But the farther you get in the more you want to quit. It starts off as fresh and original and a great 3D platformer but it just gets worse and worse the more you play. That being said, I still kind of reccomend it. If you can find it cheap on Ebay or Amazon or whatever, id say try it. You might see something I dont.

GonadTheNomad
01-10-2015, 01:29 AM
But ninjas use Ninjutsu...

You should review Lego Bateman.

Umbreon
01-10-2015, 01:58 AM
But ninjas use Ninjutsu...

You should review Lego Bateman.

shut up ;-;

And ill do that game next :3

Umbreon
01-17-2015, 04:56 AM
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA BAAAAATMAAAAAAAAN!
Anyways....Lego Batman! This is pretty much a review of every Lego game since they're all the same for the most part. Im a big Batman fan so lets see if I like this :3 Im covering the Wii version but the PS2 version is similar enough.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e3/Lego_batman_cover.jpg/230px-Lego_batman_cover.jpg

Story
In Gotham, a bunch of Batman villains are teaming up and planning different things. Riddler's team wants to steal gold from the Gotham bank, Penguin's team is planning to control the city using Penguin bombs, and Joker's team wants to blow up the cathedral and spread his deadly laughing gas across Gotham. What I like about it is that its an original plot and not based on a movie, and the teams. Riddler and Two face are on the same team, like they were in Batman Forever. Penguin and Catwoman are together, like in Batman Returns, and Joker is the villain like in the first Batman movie. Thats actually pretty clever. The story itself is nothing special though. What I like is that they get across character and plot with no dialogue. The cutscenes are well done for having no talking.

Gameplay
You control a wide assortment of Batman characters in large levels. You get from point A to point B while solving puzzles and fighting enemies. Simple enough. Each level is well designed for the most part and they offer enough variety with levels. By collecting Studs, which is this game's currency, you can buy new characters and abilities. You can also create your own characters to use in Free Play Mode and replay levels as different characters to unlock new stuff. Theres a LOT to do in this game. You can play as either villains or heroes and theres a lot of secrets to find. There are thirty levels in the game (fifteen for the heroes and fifteen for the villains). When you beat a level once, you unlock Free Play mode. In "Free Play" mode,you can replay levels, but with any characters they have unlocked so far. Its a nice way to add replay value since you kind of wanna go back to old levels and beat them in new ways. Maybe you wanna use a character that can double jump or glide, for instance. My main issue with it is one thing: BORING. You cant die. When you die, you just lose studs. I just find the game boring as fuck. HOWEVER, there is a Co-Op mode. A second player can join in and complete every level with you. Playing this game with two players is actually pretty damn fun. I played it alone and was bored out of my mind. Then, a few months later I played with a friend and it was actually a pretty fun expirience.

Controls
For the Wii version, they're okay. Nothing is delayed or anything. For some reason, you can either press a button to attack or shake the wiimote. Dont know why you'd ever shake the remote to attack when a button works just as fine. The game controls well.

Graphics
The game looks nice. Because of the art style, the graphics are simple so they look good. It has nice lighting and textures too. The level variety is nice and fits the villains well. Mr. Freeze's level is an Ice Cream Factory, Poison Ivy's is a Nature Presurve, Harley Quinn's is a circus, ect. The graphics overall are really nice.

Music
DANNY ELFMAN SOUNDTRACK. Need I say more? They use Music from the first 3 Batman movies and it sounds amazing. I love the batman soundtrack so I love this.

Overall
All Lego games are nice, but require co-op to be a lot of fun. If its just you, i wouldnt reccomend it. If you have a buddy to play with, id reccomend it.

Umbreon
01-23-2015, 01:36 AM
Voting ends tomorrow afternoon
http://www.strawpoll.me/3466153

Umbreon
01-23-2015, 08:03 PM
So...uh...Cory In The House! I...barely know what this is. Its some spin off of a disney show called Thats so Raven or something? I was more of a cartoon network and nick kid so i didnt watch Disney Channel much...I know for some reason the show is a meme or something and the game has a 92 on Metacritic so...uh...lets see if it deserves it. Who knows? It may actually be a good game. So yeah, I dont know who Cory is and I dont know nor care why he is "In the House"

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Fs%2BalNNOL._SX385_.jpg

Story
The back of the box says "Stop the evil toymaker from taking over Washington D.C!". Something tells me this show doesnt deserve a plot involving national security. Anyways, It doesnt really have one "story" its more of....a bunch of boring little stories with no connections or anything. So uh...Ill just go through some. The Evil toymaker the box art was talking about has stolen all of Cory's bobble heads! OH NO! WHAT WILL WE DO?! HE MIGHT....uh....OPEN A SOUVENIR SHOP! THAT EVIL BASTARD! Last of us? FUCK THAT GAME. THIS IS A REAL STORY! In all seriousness, he's using Bobble heads to;....make a mind control device..HOW THE HELL DOES THAT WORK?! HOW DO YOU TURN BOBBLE HEADS INTO A MIND CONTROL DEVICE? Ugh...anyways, his plan doesnt really seem that evil seeing as everyone in the world of Cory in The House is already a mindless fucking zombie. We are certainly fucked if National Security cant stop a kid that attacks by...throwing pies? Ithink? This game has a LOT of dialogue. Seriously, most of the fucking game is dialogue. And its not funny nor interesting, you just skip through all of it to get it over with. If the way these characters are portrayed and the way the dialogue is written is similar to the show, then this show must be fucking abysmal. Everybody is either unlikable or a boring cliche thats been done a million fucking times. The token dumbass, the token schemer, the token...girl....the token asshole who is chasing said token girl and would have 30+ restraining orders if this took place anywhere in our reality, ect. ect. There is a character named Juicer....I dont even know what fucking joke to make here. Also, THE GAME. HAS. A. LAUGH TRACK. Why? I have NEVER seen a game with a fucking laugh track before. I have to hand it to them, Im laughing but...not for the reason they want me to. There is no focus to any of these stories. No graphical flare, no witty dialogue, no deep story, nothing. Admittedly, story isnt important in games as long as the gameplay is good so...lets see.

Gameplay
There is none. if im not being bored by bad dialogue, im either playing as a band and have to tap to a rhythm. And by "Rhythm" I mean horribly off beat music that has no damn rhythm. Imagine Elite-Beat Agents (A really fun DS game that I reccomend if you're into rhythm games) but a lot more shitty looking with horribly out of sync music. Its like playing Guitar Hero with a 3 second delay on the music. Or im walking around a few bland maps picking up money for cosmetic upgrades and doing the most boring and simplistic "quests" I have ever seen. And NONE of these have any impact on the plot. For example, there's a segment where you do 3 fetch quests in the MIDDLE OF A MIND CONTROL EPIDEMIC and NONE OF THEM have impact on the plot, the just pad out this game's already short run time. "Oh shit! Our game is too short! Uh...PAD OUT RUN TIME! Add a section where you pointlessly try to get from one destination to another by playing a guessing game! And....uh...Music segments! Like...a shitty guitar hero! And...uh....Fetch quests! LOTS of fetch quests! And...uh...we dont want the game to be hard...but we dont want it to be pathetic so lets add annoying stuff every now and then that have absolutely no purpose!" WITH THE FILLER, this game is 3 hours. THREE. HOURS. Ugh....The game tells me to replay it to find hidden bobble heads but...no.

Controls
Meh, there isnt much to control. Its just walking around and talking so all thats really used is the D Pad. Not much to say about the controls, since its just a D Pad.

Graphics
UGLY. The character models are lazily made, the profile pictures during dialogue sections are bland and lack any visual flare. Its just ugly looking.

Music
An impressive sound track made up of about 5 songs and Hail to the Chief is what you hear 99% of the fucking time. Ive seen NES games with more soundtrack variety than this shit. You would think music would be important in a game based on this since Cory is apparently in some shitty band called DC3 or something, but no. Just a small handful of songs and all of them suck.

Overall
Ugh...
UGH....
UGH....

Umbreon
02-07-2015, 07:45 PM
So i have my computer! But no monitor...Since i dont wanna write a review on a tablet, reviews are delayed until i get a monitor or am able to use computer. To make it up to u guise, March will probably be a theme month. Idk what, though. Might do the megaman X games, maybe Yoshi month, mybe Licensed game month, maybe Sonic month, we'll see.

Umbreon
02-09-2015, 02:49 AM
Every play Kingdom Hearts? Ever wonder what the team who made Kingdom Hearts did before it? They did Kingdom Hearts! Except shittier....and more boring....and less visually appealing! Yay?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/20/Bouncerbox.jpg

Story
Sora....I mean....Sora...I mean....Sion...and Riku....I mean...Riku....I mean...Kou...are bouncers in a futuristic city along with their friend Volt. This city runs on electricity produced by satelites they steal from solar rays (Im no scientist but...would that even fucking work?). Kairi....I mean...Dominique....comes to the bar to give Not-Sora a pendant for their anniversary. However, suddenly ninjas appear and and abduct Not-Kairi, so Not-Sora, Not-Riku, and Not-Important have to band together to save her from an evil terrorist organization. Can you stop the evil organization? Do you care? Me neither. The story is okay. The characters get enough devolopment to make them likable. Although Not-Sora is boring at times. The story is okay, but for a game where the story is the most important segment, its confusing at times with conspiracies and a ton of flashbacks and stuff.

Gameplay
There is very little gameplay. The game is essentially an action movie where you get to play a 30 second beat em up segment from time to time. And its BORING. You dont get to play often, and when you do you dont get much time. Levels can be really fucking short in this game. Most of the time, its just a straight line with enemies thrown in. They added RPG elements to try to make it more interesting but its just...boring. Its just..bland. Enemies seem similar, its mostly just watching cutscenes.

Controls
Its...okay. Takes a bit to get used to but its not terrible, For moving purposes, you can either use the D-Pad, or the left stick. Each direction is also analog or pressure sensative. if you lightly hold the direction you'll be walking, but if you apply maximum pressure you'll begin to run. There are two kinds of attacks, light and heavy. Basic beat em up stuff. Its fine, but if you dont do beat em ups it takes a while to get used to.

Graphics
Ugly. It just looks ugly. Environments are dark most of the time and the models look meh. Ive seen worse though.

Music
Nice, but repetitive. But its still a fine enough soundtrack

Overall
Short review, but meh. The game is boring, if you like action movies yo may wanna give it a shot but....in that case, just watch an action movie.

Umbreon
02-15-2015, 07:18 PM
Alright, So i guess its time to do a full review of Omega Ruby. I did a first impressions thing a while ago about it. I guess i should give a full review, Its not gonna be a regular review, just me rambling about it with no real script or whatever. First, what my history with gen 3 is. I didnt play gen 3 when it came out, I was kind of out of pokemon and didnt get back into it until platinum. When I got Platinum and..felt meh to it but enjoyed it a bit I thought "Might as well do gen 3" so i got Emerald and...liked it. Too much water but..its didnt bug me much. I played it to death though during the period where my DSI XL broke and all I had left was my Gameboy Advance SP. So I have probably played Gen 3 the most of any generation. When the remakes were announced, I was kinda shocked. Didnt think it'd happen, y'know? Anyways, I got it as a Christmas present from parents and...felt meh to it. When Y came out and I got it, I marathoned it all in one day. With Omega Ruby, I played it for 10-15 minutes, said "Eh...Im done with this for now" and put it down and came back later. When I beat it i felt..meh. So I decided to restart it and see if a second playthrough helped and, it didnt. I honestly dont like it very much. I honestly think Emerald is a better gen 3 game than Omega Ruby. I guess ill get into the that. No Battle Frontier pisses me off a bit, I still hate the Exp Share in gen 6 (Though I know I dont have to use it), and I just dont find the game as fun as Emerald, idk. The entire game I was just bored. At first my thought was I just didnt find pokemon fun anymore but then I did a run of Y again and loved it, then did White and loved it, then went to Omega Ruby and was bored. Idk, I just found it boring. I love gen 3, but I guess I just dont like the remakes. So If I could recommend anything, i'd say play Emerald instead. I just find it better. I kind of already said it in my gen 3 review (ithink), but the large amount of water doesnt bug me much since barely an of it is required. I dont mind the gym leaders, I just dont mind anything in gen 3. Im fine with the pokedex variety (Though I wish they added more electric types..) I just dont like the remakes. For the first time, There's a pokemon game I dont like at all (except gen 4, I like every other games at least decently). Im the type who plays pokemon games a ton and plays them over and over, but i think i wont be going back to these any time soon. The game looks nice, the music is nice, the pokedex variety is meh, btu I just find it boring. So I guess those are my thoughts, sorry if this was repetitive or whatever, but meh.

Umbreon
02-25-2015, 06:23 PM
Im kinda burnt out from working on an album review, a battle, game reviews, and writing for 2 albums, so im gonna take the last week of February off. In the meantime, you guys can vote for my next review. Voting ends on March 5th. Also, isnt game review related but an update, I guess. I am working on doing more album reviews, they're just hard to do seeing as a lot of songs I have no opinion on and a lot are hard to describe why I like/dislike them. I wanna bring them back but...idk what to do with them. Im also working on a battle and it may be a series finale at worst, a series hiatus at best. I dont get much fun from writing battles anymore (Erbof is an exception since I get to interact with amazing people when making it). I am working on writing for 2 albums. Me and a friend are working on an electric rock album, or an EP at least. And me and another friend are writing for a punk album, or EP at least. The electric one SHOULD be done by mid-late 2015, and I have no idea about the Punk one. I can tell you that the electric album will be called The Stardust Effect and will be 12 songs long, or 5 if we make it an EP. I dont really have any news or whatever on the punk one since it just started but...meh. So....Yeha, iv'e been working a lot lately.

http://www.strawpoll.me/3733983

Umbreon
03-07-2015, 02:33 AM
MAKE BELIEVE'S REBOOOOOORN!
MAKE BELIEVE'S REBOOOOOORN!
MAKE BELIEVE'S REBOOOOOORN!
Okay, im done.
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090226174516/sonic/images/thumb/b/ba/SatSR.PNG/270px-SatSR.PNG
Sonic and the Secret Rings! I...havent touched this game since...around 2009? My friend had a Wii, this game, and and...Castlevania Judgement...ugh.,.will get to that later on. I dont remember the game much since it was 6 fucking years ago. The game started out as a port of Sonic 06 to the Wii (UGHHHH) but they decided to make use of the motion control (UGHHHH) and decided to make an on rails (UGHHHH) sonic game! Oh boy....this is gonna hurt....but...you know what? I didnt play Sonic Heroes before my review since 2005ish and i found it to be a decent game. Maybe this will be the same! Maybe...probably...possibly...maybe...NO. NOOOOOOOPE. Anyways, this is...Sonic and the Secret Rings! So lets grab our wiimote and tie that useless strap thingy to our arms! (Seriously, does ANYONE actually use that?) Lets dive right into Sonic and the Secret Rings.

Story
Early one morning, Sonic is sleeping and is awoken by a genie named Shahra who is the genie of the ring that was randomly sitting on ther table next to sonic because fuckl you thats why. She wants him that her world is being destroyed by a man named Erazor Djinn. He agrees to helping her and is given a ring that takes him to her world. Erazor tells Sonic that he is looking for the 7 Rings He places a curse on Sonic saying that Sonic will die unless he collects all 7 rings for Erazor. So they head fof to find the seven magic fruit loops and try to save the world. The rings have nothing to do with anything and are rarely brought up. Most of the game is Sonic looking for Erazor and barely mentions anything about finding rings, hell, fiunding them all isnt even NEEDED to beat the game! At times it even seems like Erazor is trying to stop sonic from finding the rings! If his plan is for Sonic to find the rings, then WHY THE FUCK IS HE TRYING TO STOP US?! Speaking of Erazor, he's super boring. Half the time it seems like he's bored and the other half he's hamming it up with nothing to work with. The story blows. I dont have much nice to say other than I love the art direction, but we'll get to that later :3

Gameplay
Just looking at a clip of the game may make you think that its a standard 3D sonic game. You can run and homing attack and go fast from point A to point B. But...Nope! Its an on rail running game. Basically, you cannot freely move. Sonic is stuck on a predetermined pathway and you cannot veer from this pathway. There are seven worlds, not counting the tutorial level. YOU CANNOT STOP. You are constantly running and wont stop unless he hits a wall or you hold the brake button. When you are stopped you cant even steer left or right to get back on track and reposition yourself! You can go backwards, but the camera doesnt turn with you so yhou cant see where you are going! Each world has a set of missions and doign so will unlock more stuff or get you a ring. You unlock missions by beating missions, but you dont need to do all of them to beat the game. You beat a mission? GREAT! Here's five more! Which one of these 5 is story important? FUCK YOU, WE WONT SAY! Pick one and hope ya get lucky and dont watse your time! The game gets super repetitive super fast. Its the same missions every world with some rare exceptions. The game sports RPG elements, which is super weird and out of place in a game like this. You gain exp by beating levels and use that exp to buy upgrades like an increased coin magnet that lets you get rings from a farther distance, a new pair of shoes that make you faster and BETTER CONTROLS. YOU. HAVE. TO. UNLOCK. BETTER. CONTROLS. If I dont like the way Sonic feels or handles whenm the game starts, then WHY THE FUCK WOULD I PLAY THE GAME TO UNLOCK BETTER CONTROLS?! Also, because of the way the game is set up, a LOT of the missions look VERY close to each other and it just gets damn boring after a while.
Controls
You tilt sonic by tipping the wiimote and...IT BARELY FUCKING WORKS. Rail grinding, for example. You switch from rail to rail by flicking the wiimote but it doesnt work without everything fucking up. Im perfectly alligned with my TV, there's no interrference so this isnt my fault! Everything feels so delayed except for homing attacks and turning and even then, those fuck up a lot too. They're just more reliable. There's a bit fo a wind up to his jump and that makes every single fucking platforming section a nightmare.
Graphics
I like it! The cutscenes are mostly drawings that look like they're in an old book and they look nice and well done overall. Some cutscenes use CG and those look great too. The in game graphics are pretty good for early Wii.
Music
It is stuck in my mind for the wrong reasons. The main theme plays in EVERY MENU. So you will hear MAKE BELIEVE REBORN! MAKE BELIEVE REBORN! MAKE BELIEVE REBORN! MAKE BELIEVE REBORN! MAKE BELIEVE REBORN! MAKE BELIEVE REBORN! SO FUCKING MUCH YOU'LL GET SICK OF THE DAMN SONG. (Which is a decent song by the way). Other than that, every world has one theme the entire time except for bosses. And since you go in and out of levels constantly, you'll hear them over and over. The game needed more musical diversity.
Overall
If the controls were better and I could move around freely, This could be a decent game. But as is? Its one of the worst Sonic games ever made, not as bad as 06 or Shadow, but pretty damn bad. I do NOT recommend it at all.

cavejohnson333
03-18-2015, 10:02 PM
Could you possibly review The Cave?

Umbreon
03-19-2015, 04:08 AM
Could you possibly review The Cave?

If I can get my hands on it, sure :3

Umbreon
03-20-2015, 03:09 AM
Time to talk about everyone's favorite stealth game! No.,...Not Metal gear...Not Splinter Cell....Its SLy Cooper!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a4/Sly_Cooper_and_the_Thievius_Raccoonus_Coverart.png

Story
Sly Cooper is a member of a family of Raccoons who are master thieves that steal from other criminals. When he was a little kid when his house is broken into and his family are brutally murdered by 5 people (You know, for kids!) and the book of their family's secrets of mastering thievery. Years later he, with the help of 2 friends, try to hunt down the 5 who killed his fmaily and steal back the pages that were taken. Its pretty basic but for a platformer stealth game with furry animals, its better than I thought! The writing and characterization are well done, each character has a personality and a few good lines and I did chuckle a little and crack a smile every now and then. The 5 bosses are memorable and are well acted, its nicely done. I can think a lot of games where characters arent well done at all.

Gameplay
Pretty basic. You're in a big homeworld and go from level to level to collect keys. Every level is for the most part, a hallway/confined space and you have to dodge guards and get to the end. Along the way, you can collect clue bottles and unlock a new move at the end. Lets talk about the positives, the game runs fine. There's no slow down and everything runs fine. The fact that every single level unlocks a new move or ability, thats kind of impressive. I like that they tried something different and made this platformer a non collectathon or Mario 64 clone. I like the varied gameplay, its not just platforming sections: There's also mini games and chase sequences and turret sequences. I like the varied move sets and all the abilites and I like the creativity of the level and enemy design. And I love, love, love the fact that you get commentary for every single level by the game creators by beating time trials. Now for the neagtives: The stealth isnt handled well. I can just blast through half these enemies and not have consequences. They tried, i guess. If you get hit once you die unless you get an extra hit by collecting 100 coins. I dont like the bossfights, they're just bland and forgettable. I dont like the third chapter at all. The swamp levels are just horrible, I guess thats just personal preference. While its impressive that there are so many moves, a lot of them are kinda useless. Speeding up time doesnt really help, the slow down jump is kinda useless, for example. I dont like the stages sometimes, they seem really similar to one another sometimes but thats kinda rare, so its fine. My main issue with it is it gets samey as time goes on. Every world is the same: beat 3-4 levels, unlock the second half of the world, beat 3-4 more stages, beat the boss, move on to the next world. I like the gameplay, I wish they added a bit more stealth elements but, as is, its aperfectly fine first game in the trilogy.

Controls
Feels fine. Nothing seems delayed, everything feels natural, and its just well done. Changing special moves with L1/R1 seems awkward at first and the double jump is kinda useless but you get used to them after a while. Everything seems fine to me.

Graphics
The cel shaded graphics make it look nice even by today's standards, the models are a bit choppy at times and the lighting is a bit dark, but its still overall nice looking. The levels seem nicely designed but get a tad repetitive looking at times as I said before but they look nice still.

Music
There's good and bad. I like the fact that the music gets slower when you're sneaking and nice touches like that but the music itself is bland. I can tell they're trying to be atmospheric but...it just isnt catchy or memorable. it sets the mood for the levels kinda nicely.

Overall
I like it. I like the atmosphere, I like the graphics, and I like the style to it. I say if you like platformers or if you want to play a platformer with a bit of a unique feel to it, Id say check it out. You cna probably get the HD Collection on PS3 for cheap. I can see why Sly Cooper was one of the PS2's mascots. Why did he get in All Stars Battle Royale and not Crash or Spyro? BECAUSE SONY HATES ME AND YES I AM STILL PISSED ABOUT THAT! Uh...anyways...yeah, i say check it out.

Umbreon
03-26-2015, 04:39 AM
Review posted 2 days early! YAY!
I mostly talk about legit games. Like, games that had a big budget and were published by a big company or whatever. But now, time to talk about fan hacks! These are also known as rom hacks and while they dont take as much effort as making your own video game, im sure everyone can agree that these still take a lot of time and effort. I wont link to any of these roms because yeah but I will talk about some! So, this is my first edition of..uh....Rom Hack Showcase...I guess?
Shadow In Sonic 1
You might think this is just a basic hack that changes the color of Sonic's sprite but no! They made the Shadow sprite they use look pretty damn nice. They also added Spin Dashing and homing attacks. The level design isnt changed but its still fun to see how playing Sonic 1 is with a spin dash (That isnt Sonic Genesis) and a homing attack. The homing attack can be clunky, but other than that, it works just fine. id reccomend this one if you want a semi basic hack that doesnt change level design.

Charmy In Sonic 1
I HATE CHARMY. He is so fucking annoying...ugh...anyways! I wont let that get in the way of a unique and interesting hack! You cant jump at all, but the catch is this: You cna fly! If you hold up and attack, Charmy blasts into the air, you can keep doing this and skip the level. The downside is that attacking enemies can be hard and yeah, you can skip a ton of levels. Its cool being able to take shortcuts, though. Its a lot harder than the original sonic 1 if you dont skip the levels since no real jumping and you cant change your direction in the air without doing an air dash, so if thats what you're looking for, id reccomend it.

Sonic Megamix
Maybe, you DONT want to just...play Sonic 1 with just a different character! Then this game is for you. It has new levels based on old levels from Sonic 1. (Like, Green Hill zone is a level, but the name and level design is different). You cna play as Sonic, Mighty the Armadillo, and Shadow and they all play the same, but its nice to have a choice. The level design can be meh at times but the game looks and plays nice and the spritework is well done. Id reccomend at least trying this one.

Sonic.EXE
I HATE CREEPYPASTAS. They are RARELY creepy/scary. They are HORRIBLY written 99.9999999% of the time, and...Sonic.exe is a fucking terrible story. Look at Yuriofwind's video about it if you're curious. This hack is just the game that is based on the shitty story. Its boring, its not scary, it has no atmopshere. its just...shit. Do not reccomend, DO NOT RECCOMEND. Also, HYPER REALISTIC BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Pokemon Light Platinum
Yay pokemon hacks! These are, for the most part, the same thing every time. They are just pokemon games with new gyms/story/pokedex/ect. This one is pretty great. The spritework is well done, the challenge is fair, the pokedex selection is nice, they added gen 4 pokemon to it so you cna use gen 4 pokemon in a gen 3 game, its just a nicely done hack. id reccomend it.
Pokemon Dark Rising
If you want a challenge, this is it. This is a stupidly hard pokemon game. I didnt play much of this one because its so damn hard but...If you think Pokemon is too easy, check it out! Its hard but is fair for the most part. Not much to say other than its hard.

Pokemon Ash Grey
Its a game based on the anime! Y..Yeah...The anime...you know, that thing everyone watches jsut to make fun of how shit it is. Yeah, this game is based on the first season of the anime. It has annoying parts but its for the most part well done. The routes are longer to follow the anime and most of the scenes are there, so if you ever wanted toi play the anime, you cna! You can even not follow the anime. Like, in the anime Ash loses to Richie but you can win against him in the game and change the plot. The elite four is hard and the game can get confusing at times, but its for the most part well done.

Super Mairo Bros 3Mix]/b]
A nicely done mario hack, its not too hard or bullshit designed and its well done. The design is based on levels from other mario games and they added the star coins from the NSMB games. So if you're the explorative type you'll have fun exploring each level looking for them. A few of them are put in dickish places and there is a bit of spirte flicker but its overall a nicely done game.

[b]Kaizo Mario World
There's a difference between fun challenging, and dickish and unpleasent. And this is a lto worse than dickish and unpleasent. I hate Kaizo, its not fun and its not fair. I dont reccomend it, even if you're a master player. Its just....badly designed.

Super Demo World
For the first mario hack ever made of Super Mario World, its well done. its basic, but what do you expect from the first ever? If you just want basic mario fun, then check this one out.

And thats it! There's a ton more, and I may do this again at some point, so if you have any you want me to talk about, i'll get to it next time :) As for whats next, I asked a friend of mine to download random genesis/snes/gba games for me to review so we'll be taking a look at those this month! So...whats first on the list? :)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f4/Castle_of_illusion_Mickey_mouse.jpg
Odd choice.....

Umbreon
04-01-2015, 01:08 AM
My reviews are normally on Fridays and I said my next review is Castle of Illusion but....I have to talk about this. very rarely does a game like this come along, a game so amazingly perfect in every way. A game every single human being HAS to play at some point. The greatest game ever made, by far. I only played it for the first time recently, but....Its already my favorite game of all time. It beats Spyro 3. It beats Crash 2. it beats Sonic Colors. it beats Ratchet and Clank 2. I can safely say without hesitation that this is my favorite game of all time now. Im bringing back the rating system for this one.Its a little masterpiece from 2005 for the GBA called:

http://img.gamefaqs.net/box/5/7/5/71575_front.jpg

Story
You are Kitty and you have to make sure your birthday party goes perfectly. It is one of the most deep and detailed stories of all time. It has amazing writing and characterization. I mena, who can forget such amazing characters like the ones in this game. What? You DONT know them?! Im not even going to tell you them, you fukin scrub. Its not because they are so horribly written and bland, I swear. This might just be the best gaming story of all time, hell, the best STORY EVER. I can safely say:
BETTER THAN LAST OF US
BETTER THAN ANY HALO GAME
BETTER THAN STAR WARS
BETTER THAN LORD OF THE RINGS
BETTER THAN HARRY POTTER
90/20

Gameplay
Its a top down sims like rpg. You do missions given to you by other characters. Completing the missions/tasks make their happy meter go up, the goal is to make every character as happy as possible before the party. You can collect food and toys and party favors and make invitations, theres so much you can do. Its totally nto just talking to one character, do a boring mission that lasts 1 minute at the most, then talk to another. its well thought out and I wish more games were like this. Too many games involve violence, its nice seeing a game that is about making people happy with no violence. It plays beautifully, the movement is totally not stiff and the gameplay is totally not boring at all. I love every second of it. Each mini game makes me love the game more and mroe and makes me happy to play it. It doesnt get repetitive at all. Most games are too action packed and hard but this game is so amazing that it tries to be more soothing, you cant even really lose! Everyone is winner! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this gameplay so much, its so damn perfect. I cant think of any single game in existence that I cna describe as perfect, until this game came along.
110/20

Controls
Theres little controls so its hard to talk about, you just use the d pad to mvoe and A to talk. But it feels so smooth and amazing. its simplicity is what makes it work because, you know, its not like they fucked up a game that uses 1 button and a d pad or anything.
69/20
Graphics
The sprite detail is so amazingly done. It doesnt look pixelated or anything. Every sprite has such amazing detail, every pixel of this games totally not painfulyl average graphics amazies me. Shitty looking games like Far Cry 4 and the Last of Us Remastered could learn a thing or two on how to do ACTUAL GOOD graphics. Just shows how game designers todaya re lazy when making teh graphics when this game is the best looking game ever and it was made in 2005!
112/20
Music
Guitar Hero and the Tony Hawk Games have the worst soundtracks ever compared to the music that is...Hello Kitty. Mozart and Beethoven would be jealous, Bach would hang his head in shame from not making music as expertly crafted as this.
39/20

Overall
The greatest game ever made. BUY A COPY NOW. I wish this got an HD remake instead of those shitty games that get remasters and HD collections now adays. Such a masterpiece, if you are a gamer then play it. If you are a fukin n00b skrub fegt with no taste AT ALL, go play something else u fukin pleb.
#GBAMASTERRACE
#HELLOKITTYMASTERRACE
#JETFUELCANTMELTHELLOKITTY
420/100

Umbreon
04-02-2015, 05:56 PM
I have a date tomorrow with boyfriend so...youg et it a day early! cx
Back in the warly 90's licensed games had a chance of being good. We got the awesome Ducktales game, the good SNES Star Wars games, ect. Not like today where the games are made in 30 secodns with no effort just to capitalize on a new movie or tv show. Will this be a good game or one of the many bad licensed games? Lets see.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f4/Castle_of_illusion_Mickey_mouse.jpg

Story
Minnie Mouse was kidnapped by an evil witch named... Mizrabel? Is that supposed to be a pun on miserable or something? Whatever...anyways! Mickey is trapped in her castle and must go through each level to get closer to the witch and save Minnie. the story is nothing special, but its not trying to be y'know? its got a simple story because the kids dont care abotu amazing dialogue or character development, I dont either. Story doesnt really matter much in games

Gameplay
Its a sidescroller platformer. You control Mickey and you can do all the basic stuff, throw projectiles, butt stomp enemies, ect. Its pretty basic and simple, a bit too simple actually. It does nothing new with the sidescroller platformer genre but...it doesnt do anything terribly bad with it either. The level design is nice, the game plays well, and its still a fun idea. I really like the level ideas in this, the toy theme and the candy theme, for example. I havent seen that in a game that came out before this. Its creative and colorful. The challenge is nice, there's some hard parts here and there but for the most part its a pretty comfortable ride the entire time. You cna attack enemies in 2 ways, stoping on them with a butt bounce or throwing apples at them. They both are useful since the apples have an ammo count and you might want to save them for later, so tis not like a "Why would you EVER use the other attacks?!" Kinda thing. Which is nice. The bosses are nice, its hard to figure out what to do soemtimes btu it never gets impossibly hard to figure out. The checkpoint system is forgiving but not too forgiving, its all around a decent expirience. The only real problem is, again, it doesnt too much new. Ive seen most of the stuff this game does done better. That doesnt mean tis bad, just kinda cliche'd.

Controls
No real gripes, it works well. Everything seems repsonsive and little to now slowdown make it nice. Not much to say, everything controls decently well.

Grpahics
They're well done, the worlds are colorful, the sprites are well done, theres little to now slowdown, the sprites are the right size/camera isnt zoomed in too much or anything. For a licensed kids game, these graphics are pretty damn good when they didnt really have to put effort into it.

Music
Say it with me everybody! DECENT! Nothing amazing but nothing special. None of the tracks are memorable but...none of tis ear **** bad or anything. Ive heard much better but ive also heard a lot worse.

Overall
Decent! If you want a quick little platformer game and dont mind it not doign too much enw with the formula, id check it out. There's an HD remake that looks pretty nice if you dont wanna buy a genesis or emulate it or whatever.

Ugh...That was decent so it was hard to review...Can I get something less decent or more decent please? I dont care which....

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/db/Scooby-Doo_and_the_Cyber_Chase_Coverart.png

OH COME ON!

Umbreon
04-10-2015, 03:09 AM
You ever have that game you liked as a kid and then you play it as an adult and wonder how much of an idiot with poor taste your child self must be? Yeah, this is that for me. Crash Bandicoot 1 did amazingly well, so tons of games in the mid/late 90's tried to copy the game to make a quick buck. This is attempt #4657. Nowadays, Scooby Doo is everywhere. Tv shows and movies everywhere. but there was a time period between 1999-2004 where Scooby Doo didnt have much of a show and just had movies out every 30 seconds, this is a shitty game based on a meh movie. YAY! You know what I like? Crash Bandicoot. You know what I dont like? Shitty clones of games. You know what I hate? This game.
Story
Have you seen an episode of Scooby-Doo? Yeah, thats kind of like this. Scooby and the gang are trapped inside a video game by the evil Cyber Virus and has to go through each stage to chase the virus and escape, I WONDER IF SOMEONE ELSE IS BEHIND THIS. I WONDER IF THE VIRUS ISNT REALLY A GHOST. OH NO THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME. Yeah, its a scooby doo plot. If you dont mind that, you wont mind this.

Gameplay
Crash Bandicoot, only shittier! You go from point A to point B in a linear hallway to get to the end. Major problems: The level design is bland and forgetable. Its just a hallway with random enemies thrown in it. The enemies are pointless. If you get close, they attack. Your attack is long range. This means you can just stand slightly away from the enemy and kill them easilyl without them hurting you. 90% of the enemeis are like this. Its boring and offers no challenge. Your attack is throwing a pie, okay. Problem? IT SUCKS. You hold down the attack button to aim and let go to throw, aiming it is hard since its hard to judge distance and if you're actually gonna hit the enemy if they're in weird positions. You also cant move while aiming which leaves you open to attacks! The bosses are shit. EVERY SINGLE ONE IS ALMOST THE SAME. Lunges at you, you dodge, they get tired, you throw a pie. Do it 3 times: You win! Its boring and easy. Each level you switch between Scooby and Shaggy. Guess what? THEY PLAY EXACTLY THE SAME! Whats the point of having multiple playable characters if they're the same? Ugh...Each level feels the same. Little to no variety. Except for Vehicle Levels. FUCK. THE. VEHICLE. LEVELS. In the Ice Level theres a sled section and it is FUCKING TERRIBLE. Ill get to it latert since its a control issue, but still.THE KNOCKBACK. OH GOD THE KNOCKBACK. Youg et hit and you fly backwards, which 9 times out of 10 just knocks you into a damn pit and kills you! Its just a shitty Crash Clone without the charm or style to it. They copied another game but fucked it up. And then, you beat the game and see that its only 3 hours at most!

Controls
Pretty damn bad. Jumping feels stiff and it jsut controls bleh. As for vehicles: FUCK THEM. They are so damn slipery. Its like every vehicle is driving on ice. They are fucking horrible and some of the worst controls I have ever expirienced in a game. I literally hold left in the sled section and the sled insists on snapping to the right side and ti kills me. The skateboard is so damn slippery that you cant make the jumps it expects you to make. Its shit, i have seen Ice Levels that are less slipepry than this. And walking on Ice? HORRIBLE. Its WAY TOO slippery and annoying as fuck. When you try to atop on ice, you dont. You just slip a little first and then turn around, its horrible!

Graphics
Okay, they are the definition of okay. For an early ps1 ga-....Huh? 2001?! THE PS2 WAS OUT BY THIS POINT, COME ON! Yeah, this looks like shit for a late Ps1 game. The models can look okay at times (The T-Rex Boss looks nice for Ps1) but most of the time, NO. The model quiality most of the time is shit and the draw distance is horrible as well. The textures are bleh, the environments dont look that great and the level design itself has no charm or style to it.

Music
There's Music in this game? Yeah. How many songs? TWO PER WORLD. They are okay but they get boring FAST. These levels drag at times and listening to these songs so much make ti get bland and makes you start hating it so fucking fast.

Overall
A shitty crash clone. This is the game you got when you couldnt afford the Crash games, it tries so hard to be Crash but fails. Crash had a charm and was unique for the time, thhis is just a bad clone trying to capture the charm of the Crash games but fails in almost every aspect. If you like the Crash gameplay style and like Scooby Doo, you may like it if you can get passed the problems the game has but...I cant. Sorry. At least there's not a shitty GBA port....oh wait!

So....whats next? :D

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/11/Bubsy_3D.png
OH GOD DAMMIT.

rangernumberx
04-10-2015, 04:04 AM
Well, this is going to be amusing. Have fun slowly descending into madness, Umbreon!

Umbreon
04-10-2015, 01:49 PM
Well, this is going to be amusing. Have fun slowly descending into madness, Umbreon!

I will :P

Umbreon
04-17-2015, 01:35 PM
While im working on dealing with an annoying voiced Bobcat, Ill just talk about 2 things: If overexposure of a game is good or not, and a rant on why i despise modern lets players.

Time to talk about Lets plays and if games being over exposed si bad or good. For example, i HATE Minecraft and I HATE FNaF and I HATE Slender. One of the big reasons is NOBODY SHUTS THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. I cant go 1 minute without someone bringing up the games and it made me get sick of them and hate them even before playign them. And then I played them and I still hated them. FnAF and Slender are boring as fuck and FNaF's story is just a shitty creepypasta that shoe horns in a revenge plot for dead kids. (And I despise creepypasta so 99% of them) and I just found Minecraft dull and it didnt keep my attention for long. I played it for like 2 hours and i was just bored the entire time. ANYWAYS, With reviews and lets plays everywehre it just made it over exposed. Now, is being over exposed good? Yes and no. It CAN Be a good thing since it gets more people to try the game and gives the game a bigger fanbase if the game is good. But its bad because of the situation im in, since nobody fucking shuts up about them it just makes me super annoyed and not even want to try the games (I did try them, but other people who are nnoyed by an over exposed game might not) I think it just depends on how much a game is over exposed. If its too over exposed it will.

Now for lets plays. This is just my opinion and i dont have set thoughts im just gonna write this as it goes along, but to me there are two categories of Lets Players. The good lets players that are intelectual. And the annoying lets player that screams over everything and wont shut the fuck up. The good lets players to me are people like Brainscratchcomms, Chuggaaconroy, ProtonJonSA, Bikdiponabus, and SGB Play. They pick games they love and show them off, old and new. They have a good time and discuss the games they love and the games they hate and analyze why the do or do not work. For the most part, they stay calm with some excitement every now and then. The ones I hate, to many to list, so ill just use the example of pewdiepie. I despise this guy. I am sure he is a nice guy in real life but....as a lets player he wont shut up. He screams over EVERYTHING and he just wont shut up. I can barely tolerate one video of his without turning it off. not even 2 minutes in I want to stab my ears out with knives so i wont have to hear it anymore. I despise him as a youtuber and he doesnt fucking deserve to be the #1 youtuber. Not even in the top 1000 youtubers. The main problem with Lets Plays now adays is that, to me, they overact and over react to EVERYTHING. 99% of the time im just thinking "Why the fuck did he scream over that? Thats nothing to scream over..." Where as with good lets players they dont over act and tell their honest opinions and react honestly. Another thing I hate is facecams. if you are doing a horror game, fine! I can deal with that. But ive seen Facecam on Pokemon games and Mario games. WHY?! Whats the point!? You dont need a face cam for a non horror game. Its pointless. Another problem is lets players dont choose games they love or hate so they can discuss its problems and perfections, they choose choose "Random popular game #345978476" instead of something not blind that they want to show off because they love it. Im fine with people playing minecraft or FNaF or Slender or Happy Wheels but not THIS MUCH. It seems like everyone does videos on those and it just gets boring "Wooow, ANOTHER Minecraft video...thats refreshing...havent seen 1200 of those this week or anything..." Im fine with doing newer games, im fine with doing horror games, but dont do it just to get views and dont overdo them. "Lets Play Minecraft Episode 1245" It gets boring after you do 100+ minecraft videos. Just doi a small handful of minecraft videos and stuff. I just hate modern Lets Players. I love watching lets plays, literally, ALL I do online is watch Lets Plays 99% of the time, but those are much better lets players to me. Again, people like BrainScratchComms and SGB Play and ProtonjonSA and chuggaaconroy.

Umbreon
04-19-2015, 03:41 AM
http://img1.game-oldies.com/sites/default/files/packshots/sony-playstation/bubsy-3d-furbitten-planet-usa.jpg


Alright..Time for a . Will it Claw its way to the top or will it end it Cat-astrophy? You think its good? You gotta be kitten me!.....Fine, im done with cat puns. ....for now. ANYWAYS: Bubsy! Bubsy is a little bobcat that the creators hoped would be a mascot character...yeah, that failed massively. He had a ton of games, 2 SNES ones, a Gameboy one, a PC one (Thats just a remake of the first one), a Jaguar one and....this one. Often considered one of the worst games of all time, its Bubsy 3D. Is it as bad as everyone says?....Yes and No...But we'll get to that. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? I can think of a few things...lets get this over with. Also, i would like to point out that this game came out in 1996 and we had things like Crash Bandicoot and Mario 64 at this point.

Story
The enemies from the first game plan to kill bubsy because....uh...Bubsy is a dick? i dont know...I cna barely fucking understand what anyone is saying. it doesnt matter, tis a bleh plot to a shit game.

Gameplay
BORING. The level design is literally some of the msot bland I have ever seen, its just basic constructs floating in space with no rhyme or reason to them. Al the gameplay is is blindly exploring some of the blandest and empty levels I have ever witnessed in my life and collect things. Thats it. Its as bare bones as you cna get and they STILL FUCKED IT UP. A lot of the level design would work if Bubsy wasnt Tank Controlled but...he is. So the level design suffers from it. NOTHING is explained, too! Theres a boss that shoots exploding...things (Idunno what the fuck they are). Bubsy can glide on fans, okay. But how the FUCK am I supposed to know to glide on the SPARKS FROM THE EXPLOSION? Nothing tells you that you can! You also cant control the camera, because of this, the camera pans down when you jump. In theory, good idea. In execution, OH GOD. Its so wonky and it disorientates the player so much that they miss the jump. Plus, you kill enemies by jumping on them and because of this fucking camera making percise jumps is a bitch! When you get hit, the camera spins around and shows you bubsy's face and that just disorents you more and UGH. It seems like they started designing ideas but just stopped 25% through. There are these water levels: They are pointless. I cna just swim to the goal with no way to die. Its just there to waste my fucking time. I dont know where to put this, but...BUBSY IS ANNOYING AS FUCK. Alright, sos tuff like Gex works because...i dunno...THEY ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY. These are fucking annoying! The entire gameplay is just collecting atoms, you get bored in like 30 seconds, at LEAST in stuff like Superman 64, its so bad its hilarious. You cna riff it, with this, its SO BORING that you cant, you wanna stop after 10 minutes. The password to the final level is all Z's, thats fitting, since IT PUTS YOU TO FUCKING SLEEP.

Controls
TANK CONTROLS IN A PLATFORMER. OH GOD. I dont mind tank controls in stuff like Battletanx and Resident Evil and stuff like that but...here? Its horrible! Tank Controls and Platformers dont mix at all! Okay, Croc worked and that has tank controls but....shut up! I dont even know why it worked there but not here. I guess Croc's levels seemed to be designed with the control sceheme in mind and at least that game had a quick u turn function to help. This game is just trying to work with the shitty controls and it makes it hard to collect the atoms! I have never said the phrase "GOD DMAMIT COLLECT THE DAMN COIN ALREADY" and meant it. Some of the worst controls I have ever expirienced. This is something you turn in as a first year college student as a first project with a 3d engine, not a full game that was released on shelves!

Graphics
Terrible! NOTHING has a texture, it looks unfinished. You know those test levels in games that you hack into that are unfinished and shitty looking? This is worse than those. At elast THOSE have textures and decent models The mdoels are poorly constructed, there are no textures, and no set pieces to make levels easy to navigate. They are shit from top to bottom and I cant find one good thing to say about them. Its just a horrible looking game.
Music
Meh, its...okay I guess. Its not ear gratingly awful but...its not really good. Ya know? Its passable at best.

Overall
Bad but this game doesnt piss me off THAT much, mainly since I went into it knowing that its shit. Its bad, horrible, terrible, absolute shit. The gameplay is boring, the graphics are terrible, the controls are terrible, the camera is shit, its just shit. Do not reccomend.


Alright! Last one, what will it be? Something good, please? :D

http://img.gamefaqs.net/box/9/8/3/10983_front.jpg

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Umbreon
04-23-2015, 11:56 PM
http://img.gamefaqs.net/box/9/8/3/10983_front.jpg

NANANANANANANANANONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Batmaaaaaan! I like the movie Batman Forever. Its stupid, makes little sense half the time, is super over the top, and I love it. Batman has a decent trend with video games. The NES Game, Batman Returns and Batman and Robin on SNES, Lego Batman, the Arkham Games, all good. But this? UGHHHHHHHHHHH. Lets get this over with and see how this hero turned to a zero, this is Batman Forever! The final review of the month!

Story
Riddler and Two-Face are fucking around and you have to stop them. Thats pretty much it. And gues what? THEY FUCKED IT UP. How do you fuck up a story this simple? How about the fact that you can play as Robin when he shouldnt even fucking be Robin yet. And guess what? YOU SAVE HIS PARENTD FROM DYING. Okay, if you cna play the game as robin from the beginning, DONT HAVE A LEVEL BASED ON THE SCENE WHERE HE BECOMES ROBIN AND DONT MAKE IT SO YOU SAVE HIS PARENTS, CREATING A PARADOX. And how about the stupid as fuck Mega Riddler at the end of the game? It comes out of nowhere and is so fucking stupid. How the fuck could they fuck up a story this simple?

Gameplay
BOOOOOOORRRRRIIIIIINNNNG. Its a Beta Em up but with NO style or flair. Its just beat the shit out of all the bad guys in the room, then go to the next room. Its boring, its bland, its repetitive. Every level feels pretty fucking similar and its easy to get lost. I never thought Id ever utter the phrase "IM FUCKING LOST AGAIN" in a BEAT EM UP until I have played this fucking game. The game does little to explain stuff besides givving you riddles, which help a bit but not enough. At the beginning of each levek you can choose weaponry and gadgets, nice idea in theory, but...they're pointless. They dont help much and I barely used them. Mainly because THEY DONT TELL YOU ANYTHING. THEY DONTT ELL YOU WHAT ANYTHING DOES OR HOW TO USE IT. When you have to use GAMEFAQS FOR BASIC INSTRUCTIONS SOMETHING IS WRONG. You know what I fucking HATE? Games where if you get a game over they send you to the title screen with little to no continues. Guess what this fucking game does? EXACTLY THAT. Die 3 times? START OVER. Unless you know the level select code, and THATS CONFUSING TOO. How about just a list and you choose? NOPE. its stage number and room number, so you can go to stage 5's 5th room. WHY? JUST GIVE US A LIST. I didnt even know what the fuck theyw anted since it was labeled S and R. UGH. There arent many attacks so it just becomes repetitive, too repetitive even by beat em up standards. Every attack that you DO have pretty much acts the same so there is NO strategy at all to it. No RPG system to make things interesthing, no fun combos, nothing. Its as bare bones as you can get and we arent even at the worst thing about this game yet. If they added more variety and maybe some RPG elements or ANYTHING to make it more interesting, it would be decent gameplay wise but...as is? its a bland and boring mess.

Controls
HORRIBLE. So you would THINK its just an attakc button and a jump button. Well...THERE IS NO JUMP BUTTON. YOU PRESS UP. For fighting games? Thats fine! For a beat em up/Platformer? NO! NO! NO! You get used to it but its so fucking awkward it gets annoying as fuck. Second, the grappling hook. FUCK THIS THING. You press select and up but in a stupidly specific way. You press up slightly before you press down and its fucking pointless. And guess what? Say ti with me: NOTHING. TELLS. YOU. ABOUT. THIS. Again, GAMEFAQS FOR BASIC CONTROL INSTRUCTIONS. The controls are fucking terrible!

Graphics
So they used digitized actors like Mortal Kombat and..it doesnt look as good as MK. It seems less effort was put into it. It still looks okay but...just okay.

Music
Boring, bland, repetitive, bad. Its a mess and I dont enjoy it, I dont despise it but I dont like it. ive heard far worse.

Overall
Want a good ebat em up on the SNES/genesis? Golden Axe, Altered Beast, Streets of Rage. Want a better Batman SNES game? The Adventures of Batman and Robin and Batman Returns. DONT TOUCH THIS.

Umbreon
05-01-2015, 07:25 AM
no review today becasue everythign fucking sucks and i hate life. it'll be up when its done, whenever that may be.

Umbreon
05-27-2015, 11:19 PM
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/ratchet/images/7/73/Ratchetandclank3box.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20060222165820
So Ratchet and Clank 2 is my favorite game of all time. The gameplay, design, everything. I love it and have played it tons of times. Now, as a kid, 3 was my favorite. I didnt actually own 2 as a kid. What changed? Lets see, at long last, here is Ratchet and Clank 3: Up Your Aresenal.

Story
After saving the world from the Protopet, Ratchet and Clank are enjoying their peace when they see that Veldin, Ratchet's home planet, is being attacked and may be destroyed soon. The two gear up and head out to destroy the menace. After saving the planet, they get a video call from Bill Clinton The President and he tells them an evil known as Doctor Nefarious is planning something evil and that you must stop him by finding the one man who defeated him years ago. After going through the jungle, you frind the man and after beating him you find that he is Captain Quark. He has amnesia and thinks he's a monkey so you have to play a video game about his life to jog his memory. From there on, its the same as the other games. Go from planet to planet doing missions to unlock other planets and gadgets and stuff. As a story it isnt as good as the first game, but the funny writing and a good villain make it work well enough. You dont run into as many other characetrs, though. Which i really liked in Ratchet 2. Is it a deal breaker? Nah, its just my preference.

Gameplay
Its an improvement and downgrade from Ratchet 2. Your guns can now level up to Level 5 and not 2, which is great. It gives you even more of a reason to use your guns. As for new weapons, they're okay. You get your basic stuff like a N60 Storm (Machine Gun) Shock-Cannon (Shotgun), stuff like that. Its not the best lineup in the series, but its a ncie enough one. If you have a Ratchet and CLank 2 file on your memory card, you can even get a few free guns from the second game! Adding the Bouncer to the roster makes it a billion times better, you cant go wrong with the Bouncer :3 They fixed things like the gadgets all being on one weapon for the most part, which is also nice. The arena challenegs are back and better than ever, too. They added a ton of new missions and gimmicks to it to keep it interesting. and they added platform challenges to it as well which is a great addition, but it doesnt really make up for the lack of platforming in the actual levels. Throuought the game you can collect Qwark Video Comics and play through 2d levels, which is boring. its pretty much press the attack button to win and jump where you need to. Completing these doesnt really give you anything but bolts and a Titanium Bolt if you 100% it. Now, here comes the bad stuff. The level design. Literally, most of these levels are just a straight line with enemies. They wanted to put more emphasis on the guns so they made the level design more weapon based rather than platformer based. Which is bad. A lot of the levels seem the same with just a new coat of paint, ya know? The hacking mini game is also weaker, its not puzzling, its not fun, its BORING. Its just not as interesting as in previous games where it at least was a puzzle. And then there are the Warzone Missions. These SUCK. You complete 5+ missions in a warzone. And the first one, literally, its Killl all the enemies, Kill all the enemies again, Protect your soldiers bu killing all the enemies, Kill all the enemies with a turret, and activate 5 machines...while killing all the enemies. I know fans dont mind it much, but whenever one happens i just think "Oh god its one of these...". Its not really bads or a game breaker, its just downgrades to me.

Controls
Perfect again. Same cotnrols as Ratchet 2 but better. it adds strafing, better lock on, ect. It controls great.

Graphics
It looks really fucking great. Not the greatets thing ever, but its one of the best looking PS2 games out there. The models look nice, the lighting is nice, its just a really nice looking game. However...the enviroments? Not so much. They look nice but are kinda bland. They wanted to go with a mroe warzone type feel, but it does make it boring looking at times. Lots of warzone type levels and desert levels.

Music
Great. Its not too catchy, but I do like the soundtrack. its one of those things that you like when you're playing the game but they arent that good on their own.

Overall
I dont like it as much as Ratchet 2, but its still a great fucking game. I know a lot of people like 3 more than 2, and i understand. Some people prefer the gun emphasis and the lack of platforming and like the levels. Thats all fine.I just prefer 2. Welp, thats it! Thats all 3 Ps2 ratchet and Clank games, I dont own a pS3 so i cant review the others, sadly. Hm? No, there isnt a fourth on PS2, are you crazy? Haha....ha....n..no more Ratchet and Clanks on Ps2...
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/ratchet/images/0/0b/Ratchet%26ClankSizeMattersNorthAmericanPS2Cover.jp eg/revision/latest?cb=20080526082553

*Cries*

Umbreon
05-29-2015, 03:22 PM
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/ratchet/images/0/0b/Ratchet%26ClankSizeMattersNorthAmericanPS2Cover.jp eg/revision/latest?cb=20080526082553

So Ratchet and Clank got a PSP game, which is good! Then, that game got ported to the PS2, and it fucking sucks. Lets get this over with, this is Size Matters.

Story
After the events of the last game, Ratchet and Clank take a vacation. While resting, they come across a little girl named Luna, who asks if she can watch Ratchet do hero work. He agrees, but she soon gets kidnapped by Robots. They quickly chase after her, but soon find out that the girl is actually evil and wants to kill them. You know the drill, from here on you go from planet to planet in order to save the galaxy and come across colorful characters, ect. Its okay, its not as amazing as the other games but its fine for being by a B-Team. HOWEVER, the cutscenes seem to not work that well with the game's pacing, if that makes sense. The cutscenes arent that funny and just seem to slow the game down.

Gameplay
The overall gameplay is the same as Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal. only done a lot worse. Going from planet to planet, multiple pathways and missions, killing enemies in your path and gaining Expirience for guns, using gadgets to solve puzzles, ect. Now here are the problems with the game: Okay, im not a tickler for Frames Per Second, im not the type who goes "59 FRAMES PER SECOND? UNACCEPTABLE!" But...this game beign 30 FPS bugs me. Its just so slow compared to the other games. For a PSP game, 30 FPS is perfectly fine. For a PS2 game in 2008? NO. I just cant stand the slowness of it, but thats not the only problem. The game is really glitchy also, not Sonic 06 bad but still pretty damn bad. Again, I hear the PSP version is fine and has not nearly as much glitches. Its also stupid fucking hard, noot Ghosts and Goblin level bad but...i died a fuckton and normally, id say thats just me since I suck at video games but...i looked up other reviews and its not just me. yaaay. Enemies do way too much damage early on and guns take too long to level up. In the middle of the game you can shoot a pack of enemies like 30 times and they still wont die, there's a major balancing issue here. There's also mini games! And they suck! There's the skyboarding, which controls fucking horribly but we'll get to that later. There's also the DestructionD erby which is so fucking BORING. Its bland and uninteresting and just not fun. The previous games had fun mini games and challenges, this one doesnt. And it isnt even because its a PSP game, They could have put somethign actually FUN here. I just hate the gameplay, I cant even bring myself to finish this fucking game. And the game is super short too,, so thats saying something. It was ambitious to try to get tons of weapons, gadgets, and the ratchet and clank gameplay to work fine on a PSP but...still doesnt mean i have to like it. The camera also sucks a lot of the time, it jitters a ton and is just not a well designed camera.

Controls
A bit laggy but its overall okay, doesnt control as well as the older games but its not the worst thing ever. HOWEVER, the Skyboard sections are fucking terrible. Turning is way too fucking sensative and its just horrible to control.
Graphics
I know its a PSP game ported to the PSP but the game is fucking ugly. It may just be my tv but it looks stretched out, like they just resized the psp screen to fit a tv and tried to make it tolerable looking. The enviroments are simple and bland, and its just not good looking.
Music
I would say its okay, which it is, but the fact the music cuts out randomly makes me kind of hate it. The music tiself is okay but the sound dierection is fucking terrible.

Overall
Is this the worst thing ever? No. Is it good? No. Is it bad? yes. Do I hate it? yes. Was it a good idea to port a PSP game to a PS2? No. This is like...someone makes a 3DS game and ports it to the Gamecube, it just doesnt make much sense and shouldnt be done.

Umbreon
06-08-2015, 11:59 PM
The new Pixar movie, inside-Out is coming out on the 19th! So to celebrate, elts look at some Pixar games! Pixar games, like Disney games, are a mixed bag. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're fucking terrible. So lets take the Month of June to look at different games based on Pixar films! First up is Toy Story on Super Nintendo. The movie is decent, but hasnt held up to well. The animation hasnt held up well and nowadays its mostly a nostalgia thing. Does the game hold up? Lets see.

http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140721003404/disney/images/e/e5/Toy_Story_Video_Game_SNES.png

Story
Same as the movie. Andy's favorite toy, Woody, feels replaced when he gets a new toy and the two toys fight about it, nothing special. Like...it doesnt change the plot at all, its not one of those games that are like "This takes place before the movie!" or "This takes place after the movie!" so if you like the movie plot you'll like this i guess? :P

Gameplay
Its your basic sidescroler platformer. You go from point A to point B, yadda yadda yadda. For the most part you'll be playing as woody going through stages using small things (Books and blocks and stuff) as platforms, though there is a driving stage and a first person stage to add some variety. The challenge level is fair, not too apthetically easy but not too hard. its a ncie balance. The game itself plays fine, everything feels right, the level design can be bland at tiems but it gets the job done, its just an okay game gameplay wise. However, it obviously doesnt do much new. It doesnt really add anything to the platformer genre, but its a movie based game made for kids: What did you expect? Levels also have missions, like in the first level you have to frree the army men and then you knock over a baby monitor so the army men cna use it. it makes it less bland by doing this, and its rather nice. You dont have many actions, just jump and attack. So its simplistic enough to jump right in. So overall with the gameplay: its decent but does nothing really that new or interesting

Controls
Plays fine. Everything's responsive, no delays, the button layout is fine. it controls okay. Nothing seems floaty either.

Music
Again, its fine. not much to say outside of its nothing amazing and nothing id listen to outside of the game but it gets the job done

Overall
Sorry this review was rather short, there isnt much to say about the game: it plays okay and cotnrols okay but its not gonna win any awards or anything and mario world is probably a beter choice to play but...its okay.

Umbreon
07-17-2015, 03:23 PM
New review tonight! Thnks for being patiént

Turtlesauce
07-17-2015, 03:54 PM
New review tonight! Thnks for being patiént

Hype! :3

Umbreon
07-17-2015, 04:47 PM
Agin, sorry for the long wait. Depressions's ben getting orse lately nd my computer died o i have to write this on a tablet. ANYWAYS Time for Jak 3! Aaaaaaaaaaand....its the same as Jak II...Like, its the same fucking game.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/ec/Jak_3_Coverart.png
Story
After the events of Jak II, some metalheads survive and nearly destroy the town. While the crimson guards are continuing the war against them , Jak is accused of being the reason they're attacking. As punishment, he (Along with Daxter and Pecker) is thrown into the wastelands. But in actuallity, the man who accused them and threw them out actually just wanted Jak gone so he can become a precursor and have POWEEEER! UNLIMITED POWER! Soon after being left to die, you're found by member of a wasteland city and they take you there. From then on, you're trying to earn their trut and make it back to Haven City. There are very few interesting characters and its all just boring. I wont spoil the twist her, but its not well executed and is kinda obvious. Its not a great story, there arent many great characters, its just uninteresting. Everything i did in Jak II made me feel like i was doing something important to help in the war. here? nothing seems important.

Gameplay
Jak II but worse. The gameplay itself is the same, run and gun with om platforming but...this game likes to add rändom shitty minigames thät take up a lot of the gameplay. Most of the time you'll be in car that contols terribly, a hng glider that controls horribly, or a boring turret section. Driving in a futuristic city? Cool! Driving in a desert with NOTHING IN IT? Not cool! Its just boring änd thts the worst thing a game can be to me. In Jak II, i was having a good time. In Jak III, i was being either frustrated when my car exploded for the hundredth time by other cars (Its NEVER EXPLAINED wh they try to kill you) or i was being bored by bland level design. Its the same as Jak II just...more boring. Sometimes the level design seems to be designed by some Jakass (HA) with no clue of what good level design is. If they picked something other than a wastland with nothing in it and balanced the gameplay styles better, it'd be a great game.

Controls
Everything is shit except Jak. The car, hang glider, dog fighter, they're just all terrible to me Jak himslf controls great like in Jak II, though. but you're doing that so little it doesnt matter.

Graphics
Models look great, environments look shitty. Mainly because everythings a fucking desert. it just gets repetetive looking and stale.

Music
As an atmospheric type soundtrack its ok but nothing's really memorable to me at all.

Overall
Is it as good as Jak 1 and II? FUCK NO. Is it a terrible game? Ehhhhh, not really. its ok i guess, but id play Jak II over this any day.

Umbreon
07-19-2015, 12:03 AM
Sigh...ive heard of lamer game concepts :P

http://iv1.lisimg.com/image/175839/600full-pepsi-man-cover.jpg

In the 90's, two things were 100% true, everything was EXTREEEEEEEME DUUUUUUDE and shitty game developers made games based on food mascots for some reason. Because....you know, that TOTALLY doesnt happen nowadays too *cough* http://media.nintendo.com/nintendo/bin/FUpzl289Vw4zFbb9tH0zVatuY4JSrRnI/5bTqi55bLHBCCFBSfh-CYGIpepeZypaL.jpg *cough* Sorry, im a bit sick :p ANYWAYS lets look at this....thing.

Story
Some fatass drinks a pepi in a live action cutscene thats in english for some reason, then he lookks inside and sees pepsiman, from there pepsiman must save the day! i guess..yeah, its shit but for Pepsiman, what did you expect? There are cutscenes every once and a while that are live action and show the guy from the beginning doing random pepsi related things, its....weird and has nothing to do with anything.

Gameplay
Its a basic runner, think Sonic Dash before Sonic Dash. You're constantly running, cant stop and have to dodge everything you can and collect pepsi cans while racing to a finish point within a time limit. Its decently executed but gets stale and repetetive pretty fast. Theres the same two things over and over: run to the finish or survive something chasing you. if they added more variety, it actually wouldnt be THAT bad. And then...it gets bullshit. This game goes from an ok difficulty to fucking unfair WAY too fast. Things come way too fast to even react and it becomes a game of trial and error. Play the level, die, memorize it, try again, get a bi farther, die, memorize it OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Its not fair, its not fucking fun. Its annoying and frustrating. They needed to tone down the damn difficulty. Also the game is rather short, around two hours.

Controls
Its hard to fuck up control to a runner. Luckily they didnt fuck up. Jumping and Sliding feel ok, but theres a weird delay sometimes. I find it weird that sometimes theres a delay and other times it feels ok.

Graphics
Actually good! Environments are varied enough, models look ok, it has a charm to it. Not amazing looking, but good!

Music
Terrible, theres barely any songs and they're just thirty second fucking loops

Overall
An ok runner if you lik a challenge, though Sonic Dash and Templ Runner are miles better

Umbreon
07-21-2015, 12:09 AM
Shamon and join me for a game based on an arcade game based on a movie based on a pop star! yay.....
http://img2.game-oldies.com/sites/default/files/packshots/sega-genesis/michael-jackson-s-moonwalker-world-rev-a.png

Story
A drug lord kidnaps children and Michael Jackson must save them all and beat up countless thugs! Uh...its basic, but its ok for an arcade style game like this. It follows the movie...the second half of the movie anyways, the plot was too simple for the movie but as an arcade game? its fine, these games dont need to have deep or complex stories.

Gameplay
Its a 2D sidescroller. you play as Michael Jackson and have to look around each stage and find the kidnapped kids...must....resist....joke...must...resist....j oke....Once you find each and every kid, a monkey jumps on your back...okay....and h points to where the boss is, you go there and fight. ton of enemies and beat the stage. You have a decent attack variety, you can throw your hat, kick sparkles.....make everyone dance.....grab your...crotch...uh...weird game D: But heres the thing....Throwing your hat and dancing DRAINS HALF YOUR HEALTH so its useless most of the time, so you mainly just stick to your regular attack. Along the way you can find random shooting stars that turn you into a robot michael jackson that can shoot missles and bullets and fly....why? because fuck you, thats why! It makes the game a bit more enjoyable but...th lack of moves makes the game kinda boring...another thing that makes it boring is the monotony of it all. It gets boring checking every door over and over looking for thé kids änd theres no real variety outside of the last stage. the game needed more variety to work. More moves or different objectives or SOMETHING to make it less repetetive.

Controls
Decent enough, but with 3 buttons its hard to fuck it up. One button to jump, one for regular attack, and one for your special attacks that drain health. jumping doesnt feel stiff, i just wish Michael moved faster, but thats just a nitpick.

Graphics
For early genisis, good. Sprites look fine, environments are okay, just all around decent.

Music
Fucking great. Its michael jackson music remixes, and they all sound great. Beat It, Bad, Thriller, Smooth Criminal, etc. Not the best, but pretty fucking great.

Overall
Its a decent arcade game but it gets bit stale. Who's bad?? Not this game

Umbreon
08-06-2015, 07:21 PM
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/shantae/images/1/1e/Shantae-cover.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110623034709
With rumors of Shantae coming to Smash and a new Shantae game on the way, I thought it'd be a decent time to look back on the GBC Shantae and see if it holds up! First thing's first, you dont own a physical copy of this game. Why?
http://i.imgur.com/O2YeHtD.png

Thats why. But you can buy it on the eshop! Only its a slightly inferior version but we'll get to that later. Why is the game so expensive? It was made in 2001, the GBA was out at the time. The company apparently knew that not many people wanted a GBC game in 2001 so they didnt make many copies. Does the greatness of the game justify the high price? No..of course not, 500 FUCKING DOLLARS!!..this is Shantae..

Story
Shantae is a half genie half human belly dancer. She protects a small city called Scuttletown, she's their super hero basically. One day, a pirate named Risky Boots comes by to steal something called the Steam Machine...Sigh...*insert Steam Game joke here*. Despite Shantae's efforts, Risky steals it and gets away and now its up to her to get the machine back and save the day. First, she has to try to get all the Elemental Stones to power the machine before Risky does. After collecting all 4, Risky steals them and the chase is on to get them back. For a gameboy game, its a decently well done story seeing as games barely had stories on handhelds back then.

Gameplay
Shantae is a mix of Zelda and Castlevania, you explore an overworld, solve puzzles, conquor dungeons, all that good stuff. And its done rather well for what it is. You can attack using your hair as a whip or use sub items and sub weapons if you dont feel like it, you can transform into animals like a monkey, elephant, and harpie and..this is where the eshop version is kinda meh. In the original, if you played the game on a GBA instead of a GBC, the game looked better and you got access to a hidden ability known as the Tinkerbat, its optional, but its amazing. It has abilities of the monkey, spider, and elephant transformation and has a sword for good damage. In the eshop version, you cannot get this since it uses a GBC emulator to play it and not a GBA, kinda sucks but meh.
The game plays nice but has a few problems. One: Money is too rare. You get it from killing tons of enemies for barely any money or you get it by doing a repetitive mini game in towns. Second, most of the time you can just skip enemies. Just buy Invisible creams and run passed everything, you barely get anything for killing enemies anyways so whats the point? Third: The level design outside of dungeons is boring and empty, they needed to add some more stuff to the overworld, anything. A few platforms and maybe a platforming challenge or something. As is its just uninterestimg. Fourth, the screen is too zoomed in. There's a lot of leaps of faiths because of it. They needed to zoom the screen out a bit. Normally in a metroidvania like this, it wouldnt matter. Its about exploration, not about platforming challenges but..there's a ton of platforming challenges in this that are harder than they need to be because of the damn screen size. Fifth, the game has a life system. WHY? Metroidvanias dont have life systems often. If you get a game over, you get sent to your last save. In a game like this where you're backtracking and exploring, thats bullshit. Especially since Dungeons HAVE NO SAVE POINTS. Get a game over in a dungeon? Do it all again! Sixth, the pacing. Because dancing stops you in your tracks and you have to dance a lot, you pause a lot and that breaks the pace of the game.
Look, I know im being really negative about this, but I DO enjoy this game to an extent. There are great things about it. The animal transformations are pretty cool, the dungeon design is great, it has some nice and unique ideas but the execution is a bit sloppy, y'know? It needed more of a fine tuning.

Controls
Pretty fucking good, its all smooth and well done. I wish the hair attack wasnt as delayed and it had a bit more range but thats just nitpicking, though the controls get weird at times. Because the GBC only had like two buttons, sub items and weapons are up + B at the same time and its a bit weird, but when you get used to it, its fine.

Graphics
Pretty fucking beautiful for GBC. The sprites are amazingly smooth, little to no slow down or flicker, the environments look well made, its just a great looking game for the system.

Music
Not great but not awful, just not memorable outside of a few songs. There's a few ear grading and awful songs here and there but its not absolute garbage or anything. You'd expect better from the composer of shovel knight..yeah, im not making that up. The same guy that did music here did the music for Shovel Knight, which has a much better soundtrack BTW.

Overall
I enjoy it, but its dated. Id reccomend playing the sequels and giving this a skip unless you're just super curious.

Turtlesauce
08-07-2015, 07:28 PM
"I enjoy it, but you won't"

Classic Umbreon.

Anyway, great review. I love learning about games I'll never play

Umbreon
08-07-2015, 08:11 PM
"I enjoy it, but you won't"

Classic Umbreon.

Anyway, great review. I love learning about games I'll never play

You could emulate this one or get it on the eshop :3

Turtlesauce
08-08-2015, 04:58 AM
Or I could buy it for 500 bucks

Umbreon
08-15-2015, 01:20 AM
Lets talk about Phineas and Ferb! It was a decent show, nice animation, nice songs, some decent writing and creativity, it was all around okay. It was even co written by a guy who worked on family guy! *Screams in horror* Old Family Guy? Oh, thats good then. Wait...we arent gonna talk about....

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/610ezXhrOUL._SX300_.jpg

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...sigh...lik e almost any other movie, book, tv show, etc....Phineas and Ferb had games and...if this game is an accurate representation of hwo good they are...UGH.....Lets get this over with...this is...an abomonation.

Story
It doesnt go with a story, it goes with multiple smaller stories based on episodes, which is...fine, I guess. The writing isnt on par with the show, and the characters are more cardboard cutouts of the show's characters but...they're okay i guess, ive seen worse. The story has no real meat to it, ya know?

Gameplay
BORIIIIIING. BORING BORING BORING. Its a 3d platformer ON THE DS thats so bland, so boring, so by the books...there isnt much to talk about. You go through boring level after boring level collecting shit and trying to get to the end. You can switch back and forth between Phineas and Ferb and each character..PLAYS EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME. The differences are super fuckign minor. Like..Only Phineas can blow into nests to get machine parts. First off. WHY ONLY HIM? Does Ferb not have a damn mouth? Second, WHY ARE THE PARTS IN A NEST?! Why are there fucking ROLLERCOASTER PARTS in a bird's nest? How did they get there? You can also team up where you stack on top of each other and can reach higher places but..its kinda pointless. Id also like to point out that YOU CANT DIE. Your sister can catch you but...its kinda just a minor inconvinience rather than death or punishment. You just go from boring stage to boring stage collecting boring collectables with boring asthetics and boring gameplay its just...boring which is the worst thing a game can be. You know its a bad game when every fifteen minutes you ask yourself "When does this end? Please let it be short..."

Controls
First off, Controlling a 3D platformer with A D PAD Sucks donkey dick. It feels OK on a 3DS But it still feels...wrong. Second, Its slippery as fuck. When you release the dpad or analog stick while running, your character doesnt stop immedietly, he runs a bit more before stopping. They randomly throw in stylus stuff for no fucking reason other than "Its DS so it has to have it!" Running is on the B Button and Jumping is on the A Button, that Sounds fine but NOT ON THE DS. It fucking sucks and is awkward as hell.

Graphics
Mario 64 DS came out 5-6 years before this and looks a trillion times better. I know, I know, Nintendo Game vs DS game but....still, this game looks UGLY. If they made the game 2D and sprite based, it'd probably look and control better. But..its just fucking ugly as sin. The models look like shit, the animation is shit, its just all shit.

Music
For a series that puts a lotta emphasis on music, IT SUCKS. BARELY any songs and they're all short and boring and..i jsut cant play this game unless its muted.

Overall
Its a licensed game. what the fuck do YOU think? Its boring, has little effort put into it, and is just a cheap cash in to make money off a popular tv show.

Umbreon
08-29-2015, 03:17 AM
http://img4.hostingpics.net/pics/934758t10493newersupermariobrosmulti5palind.jpg
Originally I was gonna do a rom hack showcase type thing #2, but then i saw this game and decided it deserved its own review...weird to do a review of a hack/rom without reviewing the original first buuttt...here we go! This is a homebrew game for the wii, In other words, a mod. If you own a copy of New Super Mario Bros Wii and an SD Card/USB you can play this game. A lot more work is put into these kinds of games than rom hacks since it takes a bit more time and effort to do it to a semi 3d game, so lets see if the effort pays off.


Story
Take a WILD FUCKING GUESS. Yup, Peach has been kidnapped and you must save her from Bowser. Wow, how original. Its the same as the regular mario stuff, but I cant knock it for that since...well, you dont expect much from mario stories.

Graphics
Actually REALLY nice, the added graphics all look really nice. They put a lot of effort in the way this game looks, in the original: Things slowly fell down the screen like snow in ice levels, in this game: They added and expanded upon it. In the Japanese style levels, cherry blossoms fall. In the fire levels, ash/soot falls. It adds to the overall style to the game. The themes for levels are ACTUALLY FUCKING CREATIVE. You have the basic stuff, Islands/Grass/Volcano but you get interesting stuff Mario rarely does if ever like Space/Gear/Japanese Temples. For a fan game, hell...for an actual game: The graphics look really excellent. But looks are one thing, does it play well?

Gameplay
Yup! The overall gameplay is unchanged: Get from point A to point B, four player Co-Op, Collect power ups, etc. Your basic mario fare, but theres a few ways this game improves on the original game. It adds the Hammer Bros. power up from Mario 3, which is awesome! It adds more mini games to win items instead of just having a small amount like in the originals, adds a store so you can buy power ups with star coins, and has amazing level design. Thats the game's best part: The level design. Its very rare that you die and feel like it isnt your fault. Everything is designed pretty well and its overall a well designed expirience. The only real flaw is the load times. I dont know if its just my copy or its on all copies or whatever but the laod times can be really long at times. Not a huge issue but...still an issue. Another issue is the store. Theres a set number of Star Coins in the game, so why would you waste it on items you can get for free in the actual levels? Youd much rather spend it all on accessing extra mushroom houses to get more power ups that way and extra lives. I kinda wish it weould have added more power ups like the feather or the tanooki suit or something but..Its fine. Im just nitpicking at this point. The added bonus games are nice, in the original you just got a matching style game. Here? You get a mini game where you collect silver starts, another one where you play Simon for power ups, etc. Another great addition is the bosses. they're all actual enemies powered up. Every boss is fought twice but...its better than the original with all 7 koopalings playing pretty much the same. Its overall a really nice addition to the original formula.

Controls
Controls fine, everything is pretty much your basic mario stuff. D-Pad to move, 1 to shoot/run, 2 to jump, shake the wiimote to spin..which is pointless since you stay in the air only 1 second more...but whatever, you also shake it to fly if you have the propeller power up. Not much to say, it all controls fine.

Music
Amazing <3 Not every song is a hit, but when it is: its an amazing hit. They're not original and all are remixes of older songs, and all are either nicely ambient or lively and catchy.

Overall
It does what a mod/hack is supposed to do, take the original game and expand upon it in almost every single way. if you can, id reccoment playing it! Maybe even donating to the NewerTeam (The company that made it).

Umbreon
09-05-2015, 12:38 AM
After Crash crashed on the scene...who the fuck wrote this? I did? Oh...that abd pun aside....Crash 1 was a huge hit and became Sony's mascoi for a while so..Another Crash game was imminent. Released in 1997, Crash 2 was released a year after the original, with that short development time, will it be a hit or a miss?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e6/Crash_Bandicoot_2_Cortex_Strikes_Back_Game_Cover.j pg

Story
After Cortex is defeated in the first game, he falls from his base and lands in a cave where he finds the Mother Crystal. After returning to his base and studying it, he learns that there are 25 Power Crystals scattered through the world and if you collect all 25, the Mother Crystal unleashes ultimate power and charge his space station. Crash wakes up on a beach and his sister, Cocoa, tells him to find a battery for her laptop...in a jungle...in 1997....anyways....halfway through he is teleported suddenly to Cortex's control room and is told by Cortex he changed his ways and you need to collect all the crystals to save the world from danger. Meanwhile, Dr. N.Brio from the first game realizes the error of his ways and tells Crash to colelct the gems needed to stop Cortex, not the crystals. Crash then goes on his adventure. Its an okay plot for a Crash game and better than its predecessor, but nothing to write home about. Also, since i have nowhere else to put this...Cortex is voiced by Mr Krabs. And tis glorious, friends.

Graphics
Really good for a PS1 game, everything looks nice the models are well contructed, etc. Only rela issue is the lack of theme varety but thats not a huge deal. Enemy Design and animarion are more cartoony and look nice and add a nice style to it.

Gameplay
Crash 2 plaus a bit different. Instead of a map with selectable levels, you get a warp room with 5 levels, fight a boss, mvoe on to the next warp room, etc. In each level there are Gems and Crystals, Crstals are collected by just getting to them in the level, they're usually in plain sight 99% of the time so you shouldnt miss them. Gems are got by doing random things. There are two kinds of crystals, clear and colored. Clear Crystals are simple, break every box in the level and you get the gem. THANKFULLY you dont have to do it all in one run like the first game. Colored ones are random side objectives, find a secret warp, dont break any boxes in a level, beat a time limit, etc. It adds some variety to the game without forcing it on the player, which is nice. Other than that, the game is pretty much the same. Linear levels that are hallways, get from point A to point B, collect fruit, etc. It plays a lot better, though. They fixed a lot of the problems in the game. Its faster paced since the speed of everything's been improved. There's new crate types too, Nitro Crates and Iron Crates. Nitros explode the second you touch them so you have to avoid them at all costs, and Iron Crates require a body slam/belly flop to break. You can now tell which levels have colored gems in them. YAS! That was so aggrivating in Crash 1. On your journey you'll see pads with a skull on it. These are Death Routes, if you get to it without dying, you get taken to a bonus area in the stage to find more boxes.

Controls
Better! Adding Analog control (Which is absent in the ps3 version, fuck you sony) makes the game feel a ton better, the traction issue from the first game is fixed, Crash doesnt feel as stiff or heavy, he moves a bit faster, they added moves like crouch and slides, its all around a well controled game. Though using the D-Pad isnt too bad, i prefer analog a ton. They also added a super jump and a belly flop but they arent really usefull most of the time. Also, FUCK THE JETPACKS. They control so awfully and persision is a bitch.

Music
Not amazing but not terrible, I like it and listen to it every now and them while working on stuff but nothing to write home about.

Overall
A HUGE improvement over Crash 1, it looks better, sounds better, plays better, etc. If you get it and dont like D-Pad movement id reccomend a PS1 copy but again, a DPad for this game isnt a huge problem or anything, just a preference.

Umbreon
09-11-2015, 02:05 AM
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6c/Nicktoons_-_Battle_for_Volcano_Island_Coverart.png

THOUGH NTHE PICTURE IS OF THE GAMECUBE VERSION IM REVIEWING THE PS2 VERSION

Good games are easy to review, just say whats good about it and if it has flaws. Bad games? Easy too. They give you a lot of material most of the time. You know whats not easy to review? Boring and bland games. But...ill try. This is Nicktoons Battle for Volcano Island (Though ithink its called Spongebob Squarepants Battle For Volcano island in Europe for some reason)

Story
A distant island is being attacked by a new menace known as Mawgu. The Island's people..er...Crabs...call on Nicktoon characters to save the day and...thats it. You just stop the villain. But..its a game based on kid's cartoons, what did you expect? Its decent for what it is, a simple plot.

Graphics
It looks okay, not great but not terrrible. ive seen a lot worse but ive seen much better for a 2005 PS2 game. Models are decently constructed but they animate awkwardly. Frame rate is fine for the most part, camera is perfectly fine, it looks okay. Better than I thought it would, actually. Another main issue is the level style. Having your game take place in only 1 area is a risk. There's games that did it well like Super Mario Sunshine and there's games that...didnt like this. Most levels look the same. Beach, Tropical looking Jungle, it just gets bland looking.

Gameplay
There's good, there's bad. Its your basic platformer beat em up. Get from point A to B, get collectables, beat enemies, your basic stuff. It overall plays okay, movement speed is fine, hit detection is okay, its not too hard but not pathetically easy, there's nothing technically "Wrong here" eccept for one thing that kinda can ruin it for some people. There are six playable characters; Danny Phantom, Spongebob, Timmy Turner, Sam, Patrick, and Sandy. Thats fine. Whats not fine is, for the most part, they ALL PLAY THE SAME. There are minor differences here and there but for the most part they all run the same, do the same damage, have the same punches, it kinda defeats the damn purpose of having different characters, huh? It didnt need much variation but...something. Make Patrick slower but stronger or make Danny use more projectiles or make Spongebob use mroe bubble based attacks or..SOMETHING. It may not be a turn off for some people, but it is still an issue. The game supports local Co-Op so you can get a friend to join in for the "Fun" . Also, Level design seems copy pasted at times.

Controls
Perfectly addequete. It controls well enough, no real issues here. Not much to say other than that, honestly.

Music
Not really memorable but nothing ear grading or anything. You wont wanna listen to it outside of the game but its not anything you'll hate or anything/

Overall
The dictionary definiton of "Okay" or "Decent" there's nothing amazing about it, nothing absolutely terrible about it. its just okay. If you like Beat Em Ups...play Streets of Rage or Double Dragon..but if you like Beat Em Ups and Nicktoons..I guess...Give it a try

Poles
09-11-2015, 04:39 AM
duuuuuuuuuuuuude I think I remember this game

Umbreon
09-18-2015, 02:41 AM
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a9/Pulseman_box_art.jpg
Game Freak is best known for the Pokemon gamesd, but before that, they made Pulseman. It was a Sega Channel exclusive, like Megaman The Wily Wars was, so its pretty fucking rare outside of production carts. Is it worth the price to get? Lets see, this is Pulseman!

Story
In the 21st Century, a scientist makes a breakthrough: he creates the first Advanced Artificial Intelligence. Wanting to make an army to keep peace....which...kinda is..hypocritical, right? Whatever...He soon falls in love with one of his robots..which is...kinda...weird, isnt it? Its like me falling in love with a computer or something, it just seems wrong...Well, he sees the same logic I do so he creates a machine that can fuse Human and Machine and fuses himself with a robot, making Pulseman! Pulseman was unique in that he didn't need to remain inside a computer to survive, and had the power to channel electricity through his body, using it both as a weapon and as a means of quick transport through the power of Volteccer. You , now having super powers, must stop a criminal terrorist orginization fropm taking over the galaxy. NONE of this is explained in game, its in the instruction manual...which doesnt really exist anymore, i just got the story from wikipedia so...Its an ok story, unique..I guess? :P

Graphics
For a late Genisis game, it looks pretty good. Sprites are well animated, levels look nice, i didnt notice any slow down, it looks fine. Not the best game visual wise or anything, but it still looks pretty great for what it is.

Gameplay
The best way to put the gameplay is..Imagine Sonic The Hedgehog 2 with not as great level design but some unique gameplay elements with electricity. There honestly isnt much to say, you go from Point A to Point B, solving small puzzles with your electricity and trying to stay alive. The main thing going for it is the electricity and unique gameplay with the electricity. You can turn into pure electricity and travel through wires, turn into an electric ball and bounce around, it has unique features to differentiate itself from Sonic. Do I wish it had more things to differentiate it from classic sonic? Of course, but, as is? Its a pretty decent platformer gameplay wise.

Controls
It controls like Sonic, my only real issue is that the controls arent explained. I spent like 20 minutes trying to figure out what all the button and button combos do and thats a flaw, but it controls fine.

Music
Nothing special, not much to say other than they arent that memorable. But they do get the job done, so...yeah.

Overall
While short, its a pretty damn decent game. Id reccomend it. its on the E-Shop i believe and you can easily emulate it, so id reccomend giving it a shot. You may enjoy it.

Umbreon
09-25-2015, 10:49 PM
http://i.imgur.com/xAejMkW.jpg

Time to go Banannas! Its Donkey Koung Country for SNES. Made by Rare, back when they were GOOD, DKC is considered one of the best SNES games and one of the best games EVER made! Does it deserve that title? Lets see!

Story
The evil King K.Rool has traveled to Donkey Kong Island...Kinda egotistical to name an island after yourself, huh? ANYWAYS...King K. Rool steals all of Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong's bananas..for...some reason....its never explained...ANYWAYS...Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong travel to King K. Rool's Ship to get back his Banana horde! Hoard? I dont fuckin know how to spell that...ANYWAYS...The story is what you expect from a platformer, hero has something he needs to get back and stuff.

Graphics
Revolutionary. The graphics are really fucking good for SNES standards, it looks a tad dated nowadays, but it still looks pretty damn good. 3D wasn't really a thing at the time so it was kinda ambitious to do this graphical style.

Gameplay
Its a 2D Platformer, and kinda your basic stuff. Get from point A to point B, collect bananas (Which act as coins in this game). In the levels you can find the levels K-O-N-G, collect all four and you get a 1 up, your basic stuff, ya know? The thing that makes this game a bit different is the Team system: Donkey and Diddy are both on screen and you can switch between them. Donkey Kong can beat bigger enemies that Diddy cant, but he is slower and cannot jump as high and Diddy can move faster and jump higher. You dont really have a health bar, when one Kong gets hit, he disappears and you play as the other Kong until he gets hit and you die. You cna revive a Kong by getting a DK Barrel. Its kind of a unique health system, ive never seen this kind of thing done before. The other thing that makes it different is the animal buddies. There's Expresso the Ostrich, who can glide and move really really fast, Rambi the Rhino, who can break through certain walls and kill big enemies, Winky the Frog, who cna jump really high, Enguarde the Swordfish, who can swim fast and has a a stab attack, and Squaks the Parrot, who can fly. You can get these animals in certain stages and they're all useful for the most part. You can also collect 3 animal tokens and be sent to a bonus game to collect more lives, which is always nice. So overall, this seems like a pretty good platformer, and it is but...the one bad thing is the Secret Areas. To beat the game 100%, you MUST get every secret area and some of these are hidden in dickish places. Like in random pits with NO HINT to where it is, for example. I dont reccomend 100%ing this game and IF you do, use a guide. It's needed. Another problem is just that some of the gimmicks arent that great. Everyone hates the minecart levels and...yeah..I do too. But its not absolutely terrible or anything, just annoying. The gimmick i fucking hate most is the Gas Platform where you need to constantly collect fuel or it'll disappear. Its annoying and isnt that fun but...theres only 1 stage with that gimmick so i guess its not terrible or anything.

Controls
It controls pretty damn great, moving feels fine and the jumping feels great, no slow down or delay or anything, you can roll and jump, your basic platformer stuff and it controls perfectly fine, i cant see much fault with it at all.

Music
Amazing, I love it so much. Aquatic Ambience, Jungle Japes, the DK Theme, its all great. Id recommend listening to it even if you dont wanna play the game, its so good. its more ambient over catchy most of the time, but its still great.

Overall
I love it, but I can understand if you're looking for more in a game.

Okay, so next review is in October so get ready for Halloween reviews! I cant wa-Huh? Next review is #100? Oh...uh...I guess ill do something special but...what about Halloween reviews? Do the 100th review and review 101 in the same week? i guess I could...Idk, ill figure something out.

Turtlesauce
09-26-2015, 01:11 AM
Wow, a positive review? Is that you, Jira?

Awesome review. I love learning about games I never played

Umbreon
09-26-2015, 01:21 AM
Wow, a positive review? Is that you, Jira?

Awesome review. I love learning about games I never played

Pulseman, Crash 2, and Newer Super Mario Bros. Wii were all positive D: I havent done a bad game in quite a while :P

Umbreon
09-29-2015, 06:17 AM
Review 100 early so i can have all of October to do Halloween reviews!

http://i.imgur.com/1tXJLRF.jpg

Well..Its review Number 100! 100 reviews and like 2 years...cant believe you guys put up with me whining about my opinion on the internet this long :P I know I suck at reviews and im kinda bad at this but...thanks for reading anyways, it means a lot. I know I took a long break this year but i hope to not take a break like that again :P Anyways..on with the review!

Story
In the future, an alien Lombax named Ratchet is trying to fix his ship, but is missing some parts. Meanwhile, on a ship outside of the atmosphere and across the galaxy near the planet Quartu (I hope thats how its spelled ;-; ), a robot assembly line makes Clank, a little robot. He quickly hacks a computer on the ship and finds out what the leader of the robot army is planning, he hijacks a ship and is chased across the galaxy, though he puts up a fight he is quickyl shot down and crashes on the planet below where he meets Ratchet. Clank sees one of Ratchet's posters of a superhero named Captain Qwark and asks where he is, Ratchet tells him that he's on a planet far away but they cant go because Ratchet's ship is non functional. Clank says if Ratchet takes him to Captain Qwark and helps save the galaxy from danger, he will fix his ship free of charge. Ratchet agrees and they set off to find Qwark. Meanwhile, the leader of the robot army named Chairman Drek is planning to destroy every planet in the entire galaxy and use the pieces to build the perfect planet for his race since their planet was polluted from too many facotires and machinery. For a platformer, its a pretty damn good plot. I do have a few issues though. For one, Ratchet is a dick. He just seems like an unpleasent and selfish character, so you dont connect with him much. Clank is handled a bit better but doesnt have much of a character outside of being the smart one. Thats not much of a complaint and they fix it in the later games in the series, but it is a bit distracting and he does get better as the game goes on, at least. I see what they were trying to do: Make him a selfish and cocky hero and make him learn a lesson and change his attitude. Its just not handled as well as it could have been. Overall it has great characterization, entertaining cutscenes, fun characters, and witty dialogue.

Graphics
It looks actually pretty good for a really early PS2 game. model quality is top notch, the animations are pretty damn nice, environmens are nice and pretty, its all around a great game to look at. Not the greatest looking game ever made or anything, and the sequels obviously look a ton better but it still looks impressive. The style and creativity of a lot of the designs also helps.

Gameplay
Its a platformer/3rd person shooter. Ratchet and Clank go from planet to planet and each offer some nice level design. You have a huge array of gadgets and weapons to fight with and...they're all bland and tame. You got your basic blaster, a flamethrower, rocket launcher, bombs, etc. Nothing really over the top or silly like in later games. You buy these weapons and ammo for them with Bolts, which is the currency of this world. You can find them by beating enemies, breaking boxes, and breaking objects. Your basic stuff. A main problem here is that the weapons arent creative or special. Later games fix this problem, but its still a problem. Also, there is nothing making you want to use your weapons in this game. Later games add RPG elements to fix this btu in this? Your wrench is good enough, really. They needed to add some insentive to use your weapons. The gadgets arent that creative either, you got your trespasser and your swingshot and a few others and none are that creative, really. Thats the problem here, the game is basic. Its not bad, far from it. But its one of those cases where the sequels are so much better you have no reason at all to go back and play this. The game also has a decent amount of variety with the hoverboard races and turret sections, there are even segments where you play as Ratchet without Clank and its pure platforming and sections where you play as Clank without Ratchet and solve puzzles using a gang of little robots, so its far from repetitive. On each planet there are also hidden Gold Bolts, which you can use to upgrade your weapons later in the game, I never really bothered collecting them but...they're a thing so i felt I had to mention them. Anoither thing I never bothered with are the Skill Points, think of them as achievements before the XBox 360 or PS3 became a thing. they dont really do anything so its mostly a bragging right kinda thing. .When you beat the game you unlock New Glame Plus where you play the game again, except this time you get to keep all your weapons from the last save file and the money you had. The main reason to do this in this game is to get enough money for the R.Y.N.O (Rip Ya A New One), which is the most powerful gun in the game. My main issue with the game, though and the only thing i can classify as bad in the game is checkpoints. There are WAY too few of them. There are times where you get halfway through a planet, die, and realize it sent you back to the beginning and then you get a little passed where you died at, die again, get sent back again, and repeat. It is legit anoying as fuck to me. I mean, ive played this game so much so i dont die often enough for it to be a major issue but i can see it annoiying some people new to the series

Controls
Pretty great, nothing feels delayed and everything controls perfectly fine. Not much to say, it just feels great.

Music
Its good but not memorable. Its not catchy or anything but it fits the style and levels perfectly and still sounds great.

Overall
The gameplay itself is a ton of fun, just not as fun as later games. I know, I shouldnt compare it to later games and look at the game on its own, and if I do that its a pretty damn good game.

Umbreon
09-30-2015, 05:53 PM
Alright so i have my 4 Halloween reviews planned and a secret 5th one and you guys decide the order, first place is the first review, last place is the last, if theres a tie i'll just choose between all the ones that are tied. voting ends friday.

http://strawpoll.me/5622278

Umbreon
10-02-2015, 08:27 PM
Its that time of year again! The eyar of sp00py-ness and scariness and spooky scary skeletons! And yeah, time foir reviews of Halloween/Horror themed games! First up is a game a lot of people hate and a lot of people love, its Castlevania II! Its time to get spooky in here!
http://i.imgur.com/2FfOvcR.jpg

Story
Years after Dracula's defeat in Castlevania, Simon learns that before he defeated Dracula, he was cursed and the only way to stop it is to collect all 5 of Dracula's body parts scattered accross the country in 5 different mansions.

Graphics
A bit better than the first game, but not by much. There isnt as much flicker and the sprites look a tad better.

Gameplay
In the first game, the levels were linear and you went from point A to B. This game changes things and makes it a non linear open world adventure, which was ambitious for the time, for sure. This type of gameplay wouldnt be tried again until Symphony of the Night on PS1, but there it was perfected and well done. Here? Well....No. But we'll get to that later. Simon plays pretty much exactly the same as in Castlevania 1. The same moves, same abilities, etc. The major difference is RPG elements. When you kill an enemy you gain Exp in the form of hearts and can level up. When you die, you lose all the hearts you collected. You stay the same level, its just your exp goes back to 0. Your whip can also be upgraded by buying then in stores. Yeah, stores. There are towns in this game in between mansions and you can stock up on items in them if its day. If its night, you cant do anything. All the stores are closed and its useless. Enemies also get stronger at night and give more exp, so if you wanna grind wait until night mostly. Sub weapons return and instead of collecting them as you go you buy them form stores or do tasks the game DOESNT FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT to get them. You can also use Dracula's body parts as weapons. For example, his rib cage is a shield! Wait..wouldnt the projectiles just go throuh the openings in the rib cage? Whatever...One annoying thing is the fake tiles of ground. Because of this, half the fucking game is tossing your holy water weapon onto the ground ahead of you because you cant fucking tell if the tile above you is fake or not. Its not fun, its not challenging, its just really really annoying. Yeah, thats a main problem. Without a guide, this game is cryptic as fuck. A bit better than in Zelda 1 but still pretty damn bad. The townspeople that give you hints are fucking useless and their hints are way too damn cryptic to be helpful at all. Another problem is the enemy variety is severely lacking. The enemies arent as annoying as in Castlevania 1 but theres so few different enemies. I know another major complaint is the text box popping up when it changes from day to night and night to day but that was never really a problem for me since it doesnt last that long. What IS annoying though is having to wait until day or night. You can only buy stuff during the day so you just stand there for minutes upon minutes waiting for it to be night time and it just halts the flow and progression. Wanna wait until night to grind for hearts to buy stuff with? Fuck you, you gotta wait until night doing absolutely nothing. It gets boring and it just halts everything. The whole game is like this and it just gets boring.

Controls
Pretty much the same as Castlevania 1 so ill just copy paste what i said for Castlevania 1: hile in the air, you cant control Simon. You have to hold left/right SLIGHTLY before you jump, or you just jump up and cant move. Simon only has 1 Speed, theres no run button like in Mario and you dont go faster as you keep going like Sonic. He is ALWAYS running Remember how i kinda complained about Knockback during my Mega Man reviews? Yeah, this is a MILLION TIMES WORSE. If you get hti you FLY backwards and almost ALWAYS fucking land in a pit. This makes Platforming sections hard since you fall when you get hit and the game is full of fucking platforming. The Bosses are BS too. At first, they're pathetic and then you run into Igor and Frankenstein's Monster and you realize THEY ARE FUCKING HORRIBLE. If it isnt the Boss thats bullshit, its getting to them without dying so you keep your upgraqdes. There is NEVER a break. NEVER an easy part so you can relax. SOMETHING is ALWAYS goingto be bullshit. Having ANY chance against the bosses is impossible unless you do a near perfect run of the levels and THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT. The ONE fair thing about this mess is you have unlimited continues. But....when you beat a stage. It feels grea! You feel accomplished and it actually makes you feel great. AND THEN YOU REACH DRACULA. FUCK THAT FUCKER. He constantly teleports and shoots fireballs and if he hits you he takes away a TON of health and you cna only hit him in the head. He doesnt really have a pattern either. The controls, as i mentioned before, are HORRIBLE.

Music
There is barely any songs in the game but the songs that are there are pretty damn good.

Overall
Is it a god awful game? Ehhhhh...not really. Its bad but ive played far far FAR worse. Give it a try, but only if you have a guide to help you.

Umbreon
10-09-2015, 10:38 PM
Who ya gonna call? Good game designers, hopefully...Ghostbusters! They're good movies, the first one worked because it was a clever concept with great actors and the second one was more of the same thing but it was still decent. Im changing my original plan and am going to do the Genesis game instead so..lets get to it!

http://i.imgur.com/tggWFIp.jpg

Story
Paranormal happenings are happening in the city and the Ghsotbusters must put an ancient tablet back together to stop them. its not much, but its something at least.

Graphics
Its an aquired taste. The graphic style makes it look nice but I can see people not liking the way this game looks. The levels look nice and the themes for the levels are all decently done and unique.

Gameplay
Its your average 2D platformer with shooter elements. Kinda like Contra, in a way. You can play as three of the four different Ghostbusters...i dunno why you cant play as Winston but whatever. You're thrown in a maze like level and have to fight all the bosses in the area using blasts from your ptoon pack or bombs. Each boss is unique and different, so it adds variety to the mox and is not just fighting the same boss over and over. One problem is the level design can be cheap at times so the game can be hard for the wrong reasons. Its not ghosts n Goblins hard but....its still a decent challenbge. You can choose the levels in any order but if you want an easier time, you should do the levels in the default order. Completing levels gets you money and you use that money to buy weapons and upgrades. A lot of the levels do require certain items, like a fire proof vest to get through a fire area or a light to get through dark areas. After defeating a boss, you have a chance to catch it in a ghost trap for more cash. Its kinda annoying to catch them, but its optional so its no huge deal.

Controls
It controls fine, no lag, no delay, no real issues here. Not much to say.

Music
A lot of it is actually more catchy than you'd think and the fact that it doesnt repeat tracks outside of the ghostbusters theme playing here and there.

Overall
If you like Ghostbusters, its a decent enoughg game. Id reccomend at least trying this game. It can be a bit hard at times but its not too horrible with it.

BKTurner47
10-10-2015, 07:23 PM
How about some good old fashioned "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" on the NES? The spookiest game alive?:o:o

Umbreon
10-16-2015, 06:40 PM
http://i.imgur.com/GgNNvCv.jpg

Time for a horror staple, Zombies! Specificlaly the kind that eat your neighbors! ZOMBIES Ate My Neighbors..dunno why the word zombies is capitalized but whatever. Made by Konami in 1993 for SNES and Genesis, Zombies Ate My Neighbors is considered a cult classic. But does it hold up?

Story
A scientist named Doctor Tongue...weird name but..whatever...has developed an army of monsters and has unleashed them to the city to terrorize. Two teenage friends: Zeke and Julie, are teaming up to protect the city and save the day. AN okay plot, I guess for SNES standards.

Graphics
The game looks vrey simplistic and is fine for early SNES stanards. Some people may find the graphics a bit too simplistic, but i find them perfectly fine. The SNES version does look a lot better than the Genesis, so Id reccomend the SNES version.

Gameplay
You're thrown into a large top down map of one of 48 levels (55 if you include secrets) in the game. Your goal is to kill as many monsters as you can for points, collect new weapons, and find the hidden Civilians before the zombies do. When you collect all the civilians, a door opens up: Get to the door and the level is done. Its actually pretty damn fun, though repetitive at times. You have two inventory slots for weapons and a sub weapon and there are enough weapons and items to make the game more interesting. there is split screen co-op if you wanna play with a friend so it does have some things to keep it semi interesting. The levels are varied enough to make thinsg interesting as well, but....when ya get right down to it: All the levels are the same. Theres not really much variation in the stages. Another problem is the game has NO CONTINUES. Game Over? Start over! There are passwords but __________________. The levels also have a lot of enemy variety, though. Which is nice. the game cna be kinda difficult and i wouldnt say its the fair kind, either. They just throw a shit ton of enemies at you. You dont have to save ever civilian, just one. But the more civilians you save the more points you get. Two Player is actually pretty fun. The game is co-op but at the end it tells you who has the highest score, so its kind of a "Do I wanna work together with him/her or do I wanna try to get more points than them?". Enemies have weakness and resistences to certain weapons, for example: Ooze enemies are weak to the fire extinguisher, Wolves are weak to silver items, etc. There's a password system instead of a save one. Every 4 levels or so you get a password. The downside is when you use your passwords to get to a stage, you lose your weapons and ammo so...its a trade off kinda thing.

Controls
Its perfectly fine, everything controls okay and it feels right. I got stuck in a few walls a few times but for the most part its not glitchy or broken or anything so its all fine. Controlling an 8 directional type of game with a D-Pad is kinda strange but you quickly get used to it.

Music
I love the soundtrack, a lot of the songs are catchy and memorable. Similar with the graphics, the SNES music is a LOT better sounding, i really dislike the soundtrack to the genesis version so again, get the SNES version.

Overall
I like it. Is it the best game ever? No. But for what it is, a simplistic multiplayer arcade style game, its great. Id reccomend playing with a friend, though.

Turtlesauce
10-17-2015, 07:26 AM
These just keep getting better and better.

I just wish I heard of these games before, where the fuck is my childhood

sane
10-17-2015, 03:36 PM
Earthbound pls

Umbreon
10-18-2015, 06:49 PM
Earthbound pls

I actually tried playing Earthbound, didnt like it and got so bored so i turned it off and havent touched it in months

Maybe, not huge into JRPG's so

Umbreon
10-24-2015, 06:35 AM
Now for something REALLY scary! Prepare 2 get SP00KED!!!!1111! .......yeah, kidding. Its time for Luigi's Mansion!

http://i.imgur.com/n5fFJ0w.jpg

Story
One day, Luigi gets a letter saying he has won a mansion that includes a map to it. He's scared so Mario offers to go first to see if its all okay. After a few days without an answer, Luigi decides to face his fear and head to the mansion. After exploring a bit he finds a ghost and is quickly defeated, out of nowhere an old man with a vacume cleaner arrives and catches the ghost quickly. He tells Luigi to follow him and he soons tell him that Mario was kidnapped by King Boo and Luigi has to save him. Luigi accepts and the old man reveals himself as Professor E. Gadd and gives him a Poltergust 3000. The story is actually good for a Mario game and devently complex, by Mario standards anyways.

Graphics
The game looks actually pretty good for early launch title Gamecube standards. The models are decently constructed and animated and the game has a decently dark atmosphere for a Mario game. Each ghost looks vibrant but not to the point where it clashes with the dark scenery so thats nice as well. Is it an amazing looking game? Nah, but its decent enough and has a decently dark feel to it.

Gameplay
Its the best Ghostbuster game tbh. :P Its basically Ghostbusters, you explore a mansion, catching ghosts of all different kinds, solving puzzles, fighting bosses, and collecting money. The more money and jewelry you collect, the better your ending is so try to collect everything you can. Theres a ton of different types of ghosts so its not too repetitive. The gameplay is pretty much flash a light on a ghost to reveal its weak point and activate the Gust to suck him in, then a Number appears. The longer you hold the ghost back, the more the number will lower, get it to 0 and the Ghost is yours. Catch all the ghosts in a room, you get a prize. It may be a key, it may be more money. Either way, catch all the ghosts you can. There are 3 kinds of ghosts, Minion ghosts, which are the easiest to catch, Boos: Which there are 50 in the game and collecting them all gets you a bonus, and Tennants: Who are the bosses of the game and take more strategy to catch. My only real issues with the game are that its way too easy, I beat this game blind 100% my first time a few years back and didnt have much trouble at all. My other issue is that its way too short, its around 3-4 hours usually. Other than that, its a pretty good game.

Controls
It controls pretty damn good, not the best but it controls pretty good.

Music
The music is well constructed and adds to the atompshere. Its a techno type soundtrack and that title theme is fucking 11/10, tbh. WHen theres no music, Luigi hums a scared version of the theme, which is actually pretty creepy.

Overall
Not the best game ever made, but its pretty damn well made still. Has a nice dakr atmopshere, has good controls, looks nice, and fun gameplay.

So! Next week is my last halloween review! :D What will it be?

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/35/GhoulsSNES_boxart.JPG

SON OF A-

sane
10-25-2015, 04:30 PM
I actually tried playing Earthbound, didnt like it and got so bored so i turned it off and havent touched it in months

Maybe, not huge into JRPG's so

https://31.media.tumblr.com/8340aa35e2184170112798a75809266e/tumblr_inline_mr6jlwGEVF1qz4rgp.gif

Umbreon
10-30-2015, 06:29 PM
http://i.imgur.com/PA7KGmu.jpg

Sigh...because the last game TOTALLY didnt torture me enough, its time for the sequel...hopefully this wont be nearly as bad as the last one..please...for my sanity's sake...Lets get this over with and finish off October with Super Ghouls n' Ghosts!

Story
Literally the same exact story as the last game. Princess is kidnapped by Satan, you go and find/rescue her. For the SNES, i guess its fine. Outside of RPG's and a few others, most games of this era kinda had no story.

Graphics
For early SNES, it looks great. It takes full advantage of the SNES' capabilities compared to the NES and the atmosphere and mood are pretty good. Not the best looking game ever, but seeing as the original is an ugly as fuck game, the sequel looks a shit ton better.

Gameplay
Same as the last game overall, you get from point A to point B, kill enemies, do platforming, all that good stuff. The difference? THIS ONE IS PLAYABLE. Oh, its hard. its one of the hardest fucking games ive ever played but...its not like the original. The original was cheap. It had shit level design, bad control, bullshit enemy placement, etc. This game...doesnt really have that as much. It still has it, but its nowhere near as frequent. When I die in this game I feel like its my fault, not like the original where i felt the bad design killed me. Enemies will still blindside you here and there and your reflexes will be tested to their breaking point, but its overall more fair and balanced. You can choose how many lives you have and you can get more continues and lives so fucking easily they may as well not be there. Also new to the game is power ups. Treasure chests can appear in stages and can either hold a weapon like the previous game or it can hold a Color Armor which powers up the weapons you had. Unlike last game, there isnt just one weapon you wanna use and the others can go fuck themselves, there's actually a handful of weapons that are really good so its not just using the knife the whole damn game. The game still has the shitty design choice of only having two hits before you die, which i still fucking hate. Knockback is also a returning bullshit choice, and its just as bad as the last game. Also, getting knocked into a weapon you didnt want or just jumping into it by accident can be frustrating but..again...there isnt as much bullshit here. So, you beat the final boss (Which is a rematch with the final boss from the first game) and...sigh...YOU HAVE TO BEAT IT AGAIN. Really? FUCKING REALLY? YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE GAME TWICE? Oh, and thats not all. The reason you have to beat it twice is to find the Princess' bracelet WHICH IS A RANDOM ITEM DROP. R A N D O M. Oh and thats not all. First off, the Bracelet ONLY APPEARS IF YOU ARE 100% FULLY UPGRADED INTO GOLD ARMOR. That means going through the entire last stage WITHOUT. GETTING. HIT. And you think thats all? HA! The bracelet counts as a weapon AND IT SUCKS ASS. The firing rate is garbage and it doesnt do nearly enough damage to be considered good. It'll take perfect reflexes and skill to beat this motherfucker. Oh, and guess what else? In the first playthrough, if you die...you restart at the boss. In the second? YOU START THE WHOLE DAMN STAGE OVER AGAIN. You keep the bracelet but the bracelet fucking sucks so its gonna be hell to go through the stage with the worst weapon in the damn game. The game was fucking fine until that last fucking part. Ugh.

Controls
Better! He still has that stiff as fuck jump, but he also now has a double jump and the controls feel a lot better and more responsive. For the most part, the controls are comfortable and fine.

Music
Nothing special but nothing god awful or anything.

Overall
I recommend it if you want a challenge. But dont get the real ending, its not worth it at all.

Umbreon
11-06-2015, 07:34 PM
Im gonna take a small break for November because December is gonna be a fucking nightmare for me in terms of reviews. So...heres my top 10 games :3 Seriously December ill be reviewing Mario World, Yoshi's Island, mario 64, mario 64 DS, Mario Sunshine, Mario Galaxy, mario Galaxy 2 and 3D Land...ugh


10.) Tony Hawk's American Wasteland
- I LOVE the Tony Hawk games, they're fun arcade style games that are easy pick up and play games. Amazing Soundtracks, over the top goofiness, fun gameplay, etc. This was the last game in the PS2 Tony Hawk series and its great. It adds a parkour system..sigh..HARDCORE PARKOUR HARDCORE PARKOUR...There...I referenced it. ANYWAYS, it adds cool parkour tricks, a ton of content, good graphics for the game not having loading times often, A great track editor, etc. its all around a really fun arcade style game. It doesnt have the amazing customization of Underground 2, nor the create a goal system from Underground 2 but, its still an under rated PS2 gem for people looking for a great arcade style game and a great multiplayer expirience.

9.) Mario Galaxy
- Im not gonna say much since im going to review this game when i do the 3D Mario games but... When Mario Galaxy was announced, people laughed. Mario? In SPACE? That sounds so fucking stupid..they're out of ideas, its game over man. GAME OVERRRRRR. But...its an amazing game. It has an amazing orchestra soundtrack, great level design and graphics, its an epic and great expirience from start to finish.

8.) Donkey Kong Country
- Rare is..er...WAS a great game developer and this is one of their greats. It looks amazing for the SNES, has tight controls, good music, unique level design. clever secrets (Though they cna be cryptic at times) and is all around a fun platformer for people who are tired of Mario or Sonic.

7.) Crash Bandicoot 2
- I already reviewed this so theres not much to say: It looks great, plays great, and is a huge improvement over the original. I like the game more than 3. Im not a huge fan of relics or the vehical levels in 3 but 2 is handled near perfectly. Backtracking is fucking terrible in this game but all in all its a great PS1 Classic for a reason.

6.) Pokemon Y/X
- Best Pokemon games? Ehhh no. but..I cant decide which pokemon game i love the most. I love them all with a few exceptions *Cough*DiamondAndPearl *Cough* GoldAnd Silver *Cough*. I couldnt decide between Emerald and X/Y honestly, but ended up going with X/Y. The graphics are amazing for their first attempt at 3D, the pokemon are pretty much all cool and well designed, its all in all a great pokemon game. Not much else to say.

5.) Yoshi's Island
- I love it, I didnt like it as a kid because it was different but Ive grown to love it because of that. The game looks fucking amazing, I love the art style and way it looks and its just amazing <3 The gameplay is unique and they tried something different with this game and its sadly a bit under rated. Im gonna review it when i do the 3D mario games since i wanna do this and World first so ill end it here.

4.) Mega Man 2 & 3
- I couldnt decide between these. They're both great, Megaman 2 is a bit too easy for Mega Man standards but the music and level design are so good they work well. 3's only flaw is the Doc Robot levels, which arent THAT bad, just not great padding. Id reccomend these to any fan of platformers.

3.) Sonic Colors
- A 3D SONIC GAME I LOVE. I NEVER THOUGHT IT POSSIBLEEEEE. Yeah, I love it. Its Sonic done RIGHT. No bullshit, no padding, one gameplay style, its only real flaw is its short but its so damn fun and replayable its worth it. Its a great expirience, I already reviewed it so read that to get my full thoughts :)

2.) Spyro 3
I like this game more than Spyro 2! - *Puts hate shield up* I know its not for everyone, it has too many gameplay styles, and thats its only real flaw. If you dont mind it, Like I dont mind it, you'll love it. The level design, the graphics, the music, the speedways, its all around a great game and it used to be my favorite game of all time. Until I played....

1.) Ratchet and Clank 2: Going Commando
- Best in the series to me. I love it so much. The added RPG elements really make the series shine. Its a blast (No pun intended) to go through levels and kill everything in sight to level up your guns. The story is great for a platformer of this era, the graphics hold up to this day, the level design is great, its an all around amazing game everyone should play.

Umbreon
11-10-2015, 05:58 PM
My top 10 favorite Pokemon! Im not into Pokemon as much as I used to be (A lot of my time recently has been yugioh and not Pokemon) but I still love the series to death. I have a huge nostalgic connection to it since Pokemon Yellow was the first game i EVER played. So this week so i can do something that takes little effort because im working on december reviews and because im sick and depressed and tired im looking at my top 10 favorite pokemon :3

Runner ups include Victini, Arcanine, Yveltal, Skarmory, Honchkrow, Lapras, and Altaria

10.) Yanmega
- I wish it was Dragon/Bug. COME ON. Dragonfly..and you DONT make it Dragon/Bug? Missed oppertunity!! Anyways...I love it! Its got a great ability and a pretty good move pool, has a nice design, and i looooooovvveee it. Wanted to use one in Heartgold but Yanma has a 1% fucking chance of appearing so fuck that.

9.) Scrafty
- I dont like its design much but i do like it in battle. Its got great defenses, access to Drain Punch and Crunch and all the Elemental Punches and Outrage, i rekt gonad with it (Fuk u gonad kek) and I use it every time i play through Unova...which isnt too often....but still.

8.) Suicune
- Its so pretty ;-; I just like its design. Ive never really used it because its a legendary and when you get it its usually aftergame stuff and because i think its banned competatively, but from time to time i have it on my team in the aftergame.

7.) Pikachu
- *Sigh* I know I give it a lot of shit because its over rated and it kinda sucks and everyone loves it but...I love it too :P Mainly because my first game was Yellow, this guy holds a special place in my heart. I use it in game when i can.

6.) Lucario
- Over rated as fuck but i still like it. Its good defensively and offensively and has a great design and movepool. I hate megas so i will not mention its mega.

5.) Houndoom
- I always wanted to use it in game but the only game you can use it before you beat the game is Platinum and X and..I hate Platinum and I got Y and not X so....Game Freak pls put it in the main Pokedex of the next region pls pls pls :c

4.) Gengar
- The OG: Original Ghost. I love its design and i love its Mega Form when shiny Though i still hate megas and wish they never existed. One of the few pokemon to be really good in every region that its in, too!

3.) Weavile
- Again, a special place in my heart as the first pokemon i EV trained and used competitively. I just love its move pool and speed and power. X-Scizzor, Ice Punch, Swords Dance, Brick Break, Night Slash, love it <3. Its frail so if you tap it on the shoulder it'd probably faint but it destroys teams if used right.

2.) Umbreon
- It was actually really hard to decide which was my favorite between this and #1. I love its design, i love that its really good defensively, i just love it. Im a huge fan of Dark types and Ghost types and this is my favorite. Umbreon was the username i kept the longest for a reason :3

1.) Jirachi
- I know its annoying competitively (Paralyzed+Confused+Flinch+Serene Grace=Fuck you). But its so cute and cuddly and cute and i love it <3 Its fucking hard as balls to get (Unless its in OR/AS, i dont like those games so idk). But not as difficult as Mew or Celebi.

sane
11-10-2015, 08:38 PM
Aren't Top 10 lists awesome tho

Its like a vacation from reviewing

Umbreon
11-12-2015, 07:21 PM
With Smash Bros announcing cloud recently, I thought i would list my top ten wanted Smash Characters! Only rule is they have to have been opn a Nintendo console at one point. Yes, i know Cloud wasnt on a nintendo console but...fuck you its my list.

10.) 9-Volt [Wario Ware]

Just because all his moves could be NES references and he could have a lot of variety. I know Duck Hunt Dog kinda already does the whole NES shtick, which is why 9Volt is super high on the list but...still.

9.) Waluigi [Mario]

WAH! Yeah, the meme man himself, the WAHHHHH. Come on, you have the other Plumbers from the mario series, just add Waluigi and make it complete. It bugs me they have 3/4 ;-;

8.) Zoroark [Pokemon]

A cool pokemon that could work without being a Lucario clone! I feel like if they add any other Pokemon to the Roster id want it to be Zoroark before anyone else. i know Pokemon already has Mewtwo, Greninja, Charizard, etc. but one more cant hurt, right?

7.) King K.Rool [Donkey Kong]

We need more villains in Smash Bros and we need more Heavyweights and this would be the best of both worlds. He could use attacks from all of his Incarnations and his final smash could be turning giant like at the end of DK64.

6.) Inkling [Splatoon]

Havent played Splatoon but from what ive seen, they'd be a great addition to Smash. it'd rep a new franchise, be a gun based fighter (Which we dont have enough of). Its be a great addition, not much else to say.

5.) Shovel Knight [Shovel Knight]

Again, havent played SHovel Knight yet but he'd make a great newcomer. Ive seen people discuss how he'd work in smash and i love the ideas ive heard. It be a rep for indie games, which'd probably help indie games do better, and it'd be a great timed thing since the Shovel Knight Amiibo and Shovel Knight physical copies are a thing.

4.) Rayman [Rayman]

When he got "Leaked" a while ago, people flipped with joy and he deserves it. He'd be unique with the things he can do with no arms, and just seems like perfect for Smash Bros.

3.) Simon Belmont [Castlevania]

He started on the NES, would be a unique fighter, he deserves it, he'd just be a great fighter. His whip would make him interesting and fun to play.

2.) Shantae [Shantae]

Another female fighter, has a new game coming out, would give an underated series attention, theres no reason Not to add her! Come on, Nintendo

1.) That mole from Mole Mania

BEST CHARACTER EVER. COME ON NINTENDO JUST DO IT. EVERYONE WANTS IT AND DONT YOU LIE TO ME AND SAY YOU DONT, MOTHERFUCKER...kidding.....



1.) Banjo-Kazooie [Banjo Kazooie]

COME ON. We need an N64 rep and Banjo Kazooie is perfect for it! A nintendo exclusive series that started on the N64 and those are rare. (HA. GET IT?). XBox even said if Nintendo wanted them to they would let them use BK for Smash!

Umbreon
11-24-2015, 12:06 AM
Still working on the Mario reviews so in the mean time....Lets talk about the difference between Archaic and bad. For those who dont know, Archaic basically means dated and isnt good anymore either because the genre has evolved so much since then or because the later games in the series do what it does so much better. Not ever series' first game is Archaic, of course. Sonic 1 is still a great and fun game, as is Ratchet and Clank and a few other examples. I feel that the difference between Archaic and bad is simple. Both are bad, but Archaic has a reason and/or was good for the time. Take Zelda 1 for example, its trash. The controls are terrible, the design is bad, the overworld is plain and bland, the secrets arent cleverly hidden nor are well explained enough, the graphics are bad even for the time, its just a terrible game that nobody should ever go back to revisit, unlike later installments like Link to the Past or Ocarina of Time (Though i dont like Ocarina much either but...ill get to that someday.) However, back when the game was first released? It was a revolutionary and great game. Its only real flaw at the time was that the secrets still werent well explained enough. So what happened to change it? Later games. Link to the Past, Links Awakening, Minish Cap, etc refined the formula and perfected it for the most part. They added diagonal movement, better hidden secrets, tighter controls, more area variety, and werent as obnoxious. Because of this, people moreso saw the flaws with Zelda. At the time, people didnt think much of it because there wasnt anything to compare it to. When Link to the Past came out and people revisited the original, they realizes "Wait. Why DOES the map suck so much?" "Ya know...this game's controlls were...a lot fucking better a few years back...". Another example is Spyro. Spyro 2 and 3 are beloved games and are a lot of people's childhood's. The first game? Not so much. Again, the first game was a very early 3D collectathon. It had bland level design, a lot of levels felt the same, it lacked variety, a lot of the collectibles didnt do anything for collecting them all, etc. Later games in the series fixed this by making the levels more varied, adding more reason to collect everything, added mission based gameplay elements to add more variety, and gave the game more character. On the other end of the spectrum, you have bad games. Bad games to me, are games that were never good. Sonic 06, Megaman and Bass, Spyro 4, etc. All of these games have the same main flaw: They took something that was done perfectly fine before, but they fucked up. Sonic did 3D fine before, Megaman did level design like this before, Spyro 4 did a 3D collectathon better before. They are shit games now, they were shit games when they were released. They were never good. At least with Zelda and Spyro 1 those games were good for the time, or were trying something never tried before, or at least not tried often enough for it to be perfected at the time. Can a game be bad because its archaic? Kinda. I still feel Zelda 1 is a bad game. It being Archaic is a reason for that, but there are still other flaws besides being Archaic. I dont feel a game can be bad because its archaic if being archaic is its only flaw, which is why i still feel Spyro 1 is a pretty good game, just not as good as 2 or 3.

What are your guy's opinions on the matter?

sane
11-24-2015, 12:46 AM
That's like saying Wizard of Oz is a bad movie because it's old a shit. Not a bad movie, just really fucking dated. Same with games. Pong is dated as fuck, so is Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Donkey Kong, but damn those games are fun.

Umbreon
11-24-2015, 02:23 AM
That's like saying Wizard of Oz is a bad movie because it's old a shit. Not a bad movie, just really fucking dated. Same with games. Pong is dated as fuck, so is Pac-Man, Space Invaders, Donkey Kong, but damn those games are fun.

At no point do I say "This is old, therefore it is shitty". Zelda 1 is shit because of reasons other than it being an old game. Wizard of Oz is dated but still good. Pacman/Space Invaders/Pong/Donkey Kong are old and a tad archaic, but they're still fun so them being archaic is not a bad thing and it doesnt ruin the game. In Zelda's case, its archaic AND not fun/a bad game so i consider it bad. I have a whole review on Zelda 1 so i wont go into too much detail but yeah.

sane
11-24-2015, 12:19 PM
I was answering that question. Not saying you said that.

Kubby
11-24-2015, 01:08 PM
And my answer to that question is that quality never is absolute. It always is relative to the alternatives.

Umbreon
11-27-2015, 05:16 AM
So I ordered 6 PS2 games on Amazon:

Spiderman 2
Pitfall: The Lost Expedition
Sly 2
Sly 3
Dr. Muto
Ratchet: Deadlocked

I also might get some more games from the game store near me. When I get them i might do a mini first impressions thing on all of them. Should I or should i just wait for the full review? Either way ill probably review all these games in full in the future even if i do a first impressions, just wanna know if you guys may want to see them. It'd be kind of a blind thing. Like, ill write my impressions as im playing the game with little to no editing what i write or whatever. If I did these they'd probably be scattered throughout December along with Mario Month so that'd make it like 7-8 reviews PLUS 6+ First impressions things throughout the month. It'll be a lotta work but i dont mind since people actually read these and i didnt do too many reviews in 2015.

Umbreon
12-01-2015, 01:55 PM
Its now december and im gonna work my ass off to make December filled with reviews and first impressions and top tens! My schedule as of now:

First Impressions: Spiderman 2 12/2
Super Mario World 12/4
First Impressions 2 12/7
Yoshi's Island 12/9
First Impressions 3 12/11
Mario 64 12/14
First Impressions 4 12/16
Mario Sunshine 12/18
First Impressions 5 12/21
Mario Galaxy 12/23
First Impressions 6 12/25
Mario Galaxy 2 12/28
Mario 3D Land 12/28
First Impressions 7 - 12/30

So im pretty much working on these Non-Stop all month! Yayz! Reviews start tomorrow with First Impressions of Spiderman 2 for the Playstation 2! Hope you enjoy December!

Turtlesauce
12-01-2015, 01:57 PM
Holy shit, I'm super hyped for most of this!

Can't wait to see Impressions for Spiderman 2

Umbreon
12-02-2015, 11:18 AM
Time for my favorite Superhero, Spiderman! In terms of Spiderman games...I played a little bit of Ultimate Spiderman (Not the cartoon, the game :P). I played some of the GBA one and the NES one. But I havent played much in terms of Spiderman. In terms of shows...Ive seen Spectacular which is..er...was...great. Fuck you for cancling it. and ive seen Ultimate which is...good but not AS good. But thats enough with shows, lets start my first impressions of this game! Im just gonna play the game for an hour or so and as I play ill write down notes on what i think. Again, these games might get a full review later, just wanted to state my first impressions. Also these may seem kinda non fpcused because its my unedited thoughts as i play the game. The game looks...okay. The lips dont move and the animation can be stilted but...2004 movie licensed game. What did you expect? They got Bruce Campbell to do the narration, thats fucking awesome. The controls seem pretty good so far, no real complaints. The jumping thing is kinda weird, dont see that kinda thing too often in games. The tutorial was fine, i usually hate non skippable tutorials but this was short and to the point so its pretty well done. The city looks pretty damn huge for a PS2 game, but im noticing a lot of pop in. Dunno if its just my copy or what but...yeah. Cool, they have RPG elements. You beat enemies and fight crime to earn Hero-Points and can buy Upgrades for your moves as you play the game. Oh fuck the races are back...dammit i hate these in Ultimate and im scared they'll be fucking AWFUL like in that game. Yeah, they are. They're so fucking percise and you have to be fucking perfect to do it and i hate it. Ive been at this damn thing 50+ minutes and i still cant fucking do it. Fuck this, im skipping the races and hope they arent important. I know they wanna pad out the game but these crimes can get pretty annoying. So far theres only 3 types of crime: Stop a speeding car, fight some thugs, and save someone from a roof. Having to do a certain number of crimes to move on is pretty damn annoying and repetitive. I know why they did it, i just wish they did it a bit better. The game seems very formulaic. Do a small short mission, solve a shit ton of crimes, do another small mission, repeat over and over. It gets kinda boring and tiring after a while. Im an hour in and im kinda bored. Exploring New York is kinda fun and the swinging controls are well executed and well handled. Im hoping that this game adds more variety later on because i feel that it really needs it. The model of Spiderman actually bugs me, the white lines on his costume are really annoying and kinda ugly looking. Huh, Black Cat. I havent seen the movies in a LOOOONG time so im not sure if the game is following the movie at all. Okay, ive been playing the game for a bit over an hour now and ithink this is long enough.

Overall? So far, its okay. It controls pretty great, though the game's setup and focus are repetitive and it needs more variety. Im gonna continue playing it and ill hope that it adds more crime variety.

Umbreon
12-04-2015, 11:33 AM
http://i.imgur.com/K7a9fB9.jpg
Mario 3 is considered the best in the series by a lotta people. And while I do enjoy it, i wouldnt call it the best. But making a follow up to whats considered one of the best games ever made is no easy job. Does Mario World do it justice and be better than 3?

Story
You should know by now. Mario and Peach are vacationing on Dinosaur Island when Bowser appears and kidnaps her, you have to go save them. He also has kidnapped all the Yoshi Eggs (We'll get to him later) and Mario must retrieve them. Its your usual stuff for the most part.

Graphics
The game looks great for a very early SNES game. Its basic and can be bland looking at times but it still looks bright and colorful and the sprites are nicely done, just nothing super fantastic, especially compared to later SNES games. Though its not fair to compare it to older games.

Gameplay
Your average Mario stuff. Get from point A to B, collect coins and power ups, stomp on enemies and such. They added a few nice tweaks to the formula though. The game introduces the Super-Cape (And is the only game in the series to have it) and it is broken as fuck. You can skip pretty much EVERY level thats not underground or in a castle by flying over the level, you can also do a spin to destroy almost every enemy easily, and can slow down your falls to make platforming a joke. I dont think the developer gives a single fuck about how broken it is. It makes the fire flower pretty much useless. Its fun to use and I can see why its never been in a later game. The game has an overworld map similar to Mario 3, and it adds Secret Exits: Other exits in the levels that lead to other levels. If the stage dot is Red, it has a secret exit. If its Yellow, it doesnt. I do like it, it adds a bit of a puzzle solving element to the series and gives you a reason to not just rush through all the levels. The game also adds Yoshi. Yoshi is a dinosaur that you can ride. Theres not too much of a reason to ride him other than the fact that he is immune to Black Plants that kill you normally and the shell abilites. He doesnt have the flutter thats in later games so he's not super usefull. Yoshi can eat different colored Koopa Shells for different powers. Red lets you shoot fireballs, Yellow gives you a ground pound, blue lets you fly, and green...does nothing..dunno why but...whatever. I like Yoshi, but wish he was a bit more usefull. Going through certain secret exits lets you unlock Switch-Palaces. Hit the switches and block outlines that are the same color as the switch appear, usually making secret exits easier or allowing shortcuts or give you power ups. Yellow gives you mushrooms, Green gives the Cape Feather and the others...do nothing power up wise.I Dontt know why, they could have made Red Fire Flowers or something at least. Speaking of power ups, the game adds a backup power up. Collecting a power up while you already have one adds it to a box at the top of the screen. Press select and you can get the power up. When you get it, the power up immediatly falls down for you to collect. Anyways, the level design is pretty great, although its basic at times. Its still fun and is well made, its just a bit bland and empty at times. Do I wish it was a bit more complex? Yeah, but for what we have its nice.

Controls
The best controls in the series. Its not floaty, has perfect momentum, isnt stiff, has the perfect speed, its just...perfect. Mario 3's controls were ok, New Super Mario Bros. has..decent controls but...this is perfect and i dont know why they didnt try to emulate the controls of World in later games.

Music
The soundtrack is mostly a remix of a small number of songs but i still like it. The main theme, overworld theme, athletic theme, its all pretty damn good for being a small soundtrack.

Overall
I love it. its a well designed and well put together game that controls perfectly and has great level design, although the bosses are terrible and the level design can be bland at times. Id highly reccomend it.

So now that we covered all the 2D games, time to move into the 3D games, so next up is Super Mario Sixty Fo-

http://www.mariowiki.com/images/thumb/2/29/SMW2.jpg/300px-SMW2.jpg

Oh...Sure. Next time is Yoshi's Island and then Mario 64

Turtlesauce
12-04-2015, 03:18 PM
So, if I'd had to play a Mario game for the first time, would you recommend I start with this?

Umbreon
12-04-2015, 03:19 PM
So, if I'd had to play a Mario game for the first time, would you recommend I start with this?

2D, yeah id start with this or New Super Mario Bros DS.

Turtlesauce
12-04-2015, 03:22 PM
2D, yeah id start with this or New Super Mario Bros DS.

I'll take the word of an expert, then. :D

Umbreon
12-04-2015, 03:27 PM
I'll take the word of an expert, then. :D

Mario World because its rather easy outside of a few parts and New Super Mario Bros. DS Because its basic and straightforward for the most part, though its harder

Turtlesauce
12-04-2015, 03:29 PM
Mario World because its rather easy outside of a few parts and New Super Mario Bros. DS Because its basic and straightforward for the most part, though its harder

Alrighty, easy sounds good too me. Thanksies

Umbreon
12-07-2015, 03:34 PM
Its time for Doctor Muto! The game i got because i had 1-2 dollars left and saw it for 40 cents + 2 dollars shipping so why not? First thing I notice is this opening cutscene is way too long. Its a 3D platformer and i dont care about story in games at all so i wish i could skip this. I feel these controls arent that great so far. The jump sucks and everything feels kinda stiff and slow. And now im playing as a mouse? Um..Ok. Why change characters/forms so fast before i can get used to the Doctor's controls? This maze section seems to control better than Doctor at least. Okay first level time yay. Weird that the first level is a Junkyard. Usually you dont get something like this for a first level. Not much to say, this game is fucking boring me out of my mind. Oh my fucking god does this ever end?! Ive been here 40 minutes and i just want this damn level to end. Theres so fucking few save points its unbarable. How the fuck did this get good reviews oh my fucking god! I hate this. Its boring and repetetive and dying takes away EVERYTHING. Its been like 55+ minutes and i cant stand it. I havent THIS been bored by a game in so damn long. Its awful ;-; ITS BEEN AN HOUR AND IM STILL SEEING THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER.

Ugh. So boring..s..so bland...i dont think ill ever play this again. I guess ill put this on the shelf with other PS2 games ill probably never wnana touch again.

Turtlesauce
12-07-2015, 03:39 PM
Too bad :( Had potential

Umbreon
12-10-2015, 03:12 AM
http://i.imgur.com/RB3PTMa.jpg

Its time for everyone's favorite Dinosaur, its Yoshi's Island! How does it fare compared to Mairo World 1? Does it deserve the title of Mario World 2? Lets see!

Story
Its a prequel to the Mario Series which is kinda cool i guess. The Stork is carrying Baby Mario and Baby Luigi when he gets attacked by a Magikoopa and drops them on Yoshi's Island. Luigi falls near Bowser's Castle and Mario falls in the Yoshi's part of the island. How Baby Mario drops 50 feet without taking damage and Maro cant fall down pits in later games or why he takes damage from falls in the 3D games but....whatever! The Yoshi's find Baby Mario and decide to help by saving Luigi and bringing them to their home. Why the Yoshi's dont just leave Baby Mario with some of the yoshis while the others get Luigi so the game is much easier, ill never know. The story is fine, a bit better than the standard mario stuff.

Graphics
The game looks fucking amazing. The Crayon/Coloring book art style really makes the game look well done and unique. Id say its still the best looking 2D mario game..if you count it as a mario game anyways. By today's standards they're nothing special but it looked amazing in the mid 90's. Sprites and environments have black outlines that make them pop and easy to spot so nothing blends in with the background and get lost.

Gameplay
There are 6 worlds in the game and each world has 6 stages, plus a bonus stage when you 100% the world. The gameplay is pretty damn different than your standard mario fare. On paper, its the same. Get from point A to point B, beat enemies and collect coins, etc etc. But the main gameplay is radically different. Yoshi can do everything he could do in Mario World, run, jump, eat enemies, all that stuff, but he also got major upgrades since last time. He can now aim his tongue up as well as left or right. When you eat an enemy, you can either spit it out as a projectile or you can press down on the D-Pad and turn it into an egg. You cna then shoot the eggs to beat enemies, collect coins that you cant normally reach, hit switches, break walls and boxes, all that stuff. They're simple to aim and work really well. This is also the first game with the ground pound, which is pretty cool. This is also the first game with the flutter jump, which allows yoshi to stay and hover in the air for an extended amount of time, which can be really really helpful and gamebreaking if you're good at it. Now here's where things get...different. 100%ing Yoshi's Island...ugh..where do I begin? Each stage has a total of 20 Red Coins and 5 Flower Icons. To 100% the game you need to collect all of them in ONE RUN. You cant collect 5 red coins in one run and then come back for the other 15, no, you have to do it all in one run. Its not THAT bad but it can still be rather annoying. But then theres Stars. When you get hit, Baby Mario flies off your back and your Star Meter slowly drops to 0, get Baby Mario back before it gets to 0? You're fine. It gets to 0? You lose. You start with 10 and by collecting stars from boxes or enemies you can get more with a Max of 30. To 100% the game, you must get to the end of the level with exactly 30. So you pretty much have to beat the level without getting hit too much. This can range from being ok to being FUCKING TERRIBLE. Its so damn hard in certain stages and i hate it so much. So here is the major problem with the game. 100% it and be frustrated at certain points or dont 100% it and be bored. If you dont 100% it then every level is so boring and easy that its just....so bland. Yoshi's Island can be decptively tough. With the art style it has you'd think it'd be pretty easy but dont let it fool you, you will be pissed off at times. Its not balls to the wall hard or anything, but it can still be damn hard at times. The Bosses in the game are fucking amazing. They're all unique and fun and it works really well, every world has 2 unique bosses and its well done. I wish the New Super Mario Bros games did this too. But..whatever. Yoshi has a set of power ups he can use and they range from cool to..meh. You get the Watermelon powers like Bullet Seeds [Insert Pokemon Reference], Fire Breath and Ice Breath and those are pretty cool and help take down enemies quickly. Then theres the transformations. You get the Submarine, Helicoptor, Mole, Trains, etc. They work fine but arent the best things ever or whatever. The game plays fine, but 100%ing it is pretty terrible at times.



Controls
Beautiful. Nothing is delayed, everything feels pretty damn good, egg tossing is great, all the new moves are well done and control well. It controls perfectly, cant think of a single complaint.

Music
Its good. Like Mario World, its a small number of songs that get remixed and done in different styles. The Athletic theme is one of my favorite video game songs of all time and id reccomend a listen.

Overall
Its one of my favorite games of all time. I love the way it looks, i love the way it plays, i just love it. 100%ing can be annoying but its beautiful and the level design is amazing 90% of the time and it has a ton of memorable moments and it has a lot of cool and unique bosses.

Next up is Mario 64! Lets see how the plumber handled his jump into 3D!

Umbreon
12-11-2015, 03:54 AM
Time to see how the last main series PS2 Ratchet and Clank game fares! Just a quick review of the ratchet games: 1 is good but bland and rather simple, but its the first game in the series so its fine. Going Commando is my favorite game of all time, I love the controls, the gameplay, the look and style, the comedy, i just love it. 3 went for more of a shooter game instead of a platformer shooter and while i feel that its still good, i dont like it as much as two. Size Matters is trash on the PS2 but good on the PSP. Now lets see how the last one fares, its time for Deadlocked. I was worried because of the cover and manual that it'd try too hard to be "Super Edgy and Dark cuz its kewl" but so far i see that it still tries to be funny and have the same tone as the earlier games. The gameplay seems to be based on the arenas from Ratchet and Clank 2 and 3, which is fine with me since i liked those parts of the game. The controls seem a bit weird, but i guess if you arent super used to the earlier games in the series they'd be fine. Its just weird to me. The lack of Clank is kinda weird too, i dont have the long jump or the high jump or anything and im used to having those. The weapons seem to be okay so far, but bland. Every Ratchet and Clank game gives you a "Fast paced machine gun type weapon" and an "Explosive weapon" at the start and this is no different. I like this new mod system, where you can buy new mods for your weapons and equip them to any weapon you want, unlike the old games. Just from beating the first few missions I can really tell this is the kinda game that gets repetitive and bland fast. Oh, cool a spider walker thing i can use. This thing controls okay so far but the fact that its so damn slow and theres no speed up feature really bugs me. Its not a deal breaker or anything but still. Im a little more than an hour in and there isnt really much to say. Its a lot of the same shit over and over, its fun but it seems brainless and repetitive. I like it so far and i will go on so i can say i beat every PS2 Ratchet and Clank game but...i can see people not liking this game much. its fun, but repeptitive. If you want something deep and varied, this wont be for you. If you like the platforming elements of Ratchet and Clank, theres barely any in this so you may not like it. UPDATE: I wrote this in advance a few days ago and ive beaten the game. I wont say much since im gonna do a full review on it but i will say that the game for the most part (At least on Normal difficulty) is pretty smooth. its not too hard or frustrating. And then you get to the last mission and get so fucking angry and frustrated by the shit design that you want to throw your controller so just a warning, the game at the end is fucking balls hard. You can lower the difficulty any time, but...still.

Turtlesauce
12-11-2015, 04:14 AM
The boss battles are great tho, I loved all of them.

Umbreon
12-11-2015, 04:26 AM
The boss battles are great tho, I loved all of them.

Agreed except for that final boss i spent 50+ minutes on :p

Umbreon
12-14-2015, 02:57 AM
http://i.imgur.com/nutUxDH.jpg



Its time to jump to another dimension! Everyones favorite plumber jumped to 3D in 1996 and it seems to be a lot of people's favorite, lets see if the first 3d mario game holds up, its a go time!


Story
Bowser decides to get lazy and decide to take over Peach's castle instead of kidnapping her, and Mario must save the castle by collecting Power Stars in the levels Bowser added teleporting paintings so his enemies can easily take over the castle. Its slightly different than your normal Mario stuffs, but its still pretty much as similar to the usual as it gets. Its fien since they wanted to keep things simple for their first 3D game.

Graphics
The game loosk basic but for a first 3D attempt? It looks pretty damn nice. It uses a technique where graphics get less complex as they get farther away to save space, which is cool and was pretty unique at the time. The levels are colorful and the mix of models and sprites can be jarring at times but it still looks good. Its not very animated and its basic looking, but the model quality is okay outside of Bowser and Thwomps.

Gameplay
Radically different from the 2D games, the game is now a 3D open world. You choose missions from the list but nothing is stopping you from doing other missions. You dont wanna race Koopa the Quick? Then go free the chain chomp and open the cage to get that star. You can do them in any order, with some exceptions. Because of this, the game has a decent amount of replayability. You cna do missions is any order in different ways, you dont need to collect all the stars to beat the game so certain missions you can skip and play the game in many different ways. There are 120 stars in the game, you only need 70. So if you arent going for 100% you can skip a few levels too. Collecting them all isnt TOO bad outside of a few places..fuck you 100 coins. Collecting 100 coins in a level gets you a Power Star. These can range from being okay to being...FUCKING TERRIBLE. Hazy Maze Cave can be fucking terrible. When you get the 100th coin the star automatically appears above your head. If you were in an awkward place when you colelct the last coin? You're fucked. Nothing pisses me off more than collecting 90+ coins and then accidentilly dying and having to start over. You cna spend 30+ minutes in stages just collecting 100 coins. They're really fucking annoying and i just hate it. Other than that...the game can be fine 90% of the time. Mario has a health meter now and power ups are a thing of the past outside of caps that give you powers. They are fucking situational as hell. The Invisible cap? Its needed for FOUR STARS. The wing cap? ITS CONTROLS LIKE TRASH. The Metal cap? its..pointless. Its just invincibility and you can walk underwater for all 2 times its needed. Mario 64 has aged pretty badly in areas. With the archaic camera and level design, its not terrible just...archaic. Cotnrolling the camera with buttons and not a C-Stick? Ew. A lot of this game is just outdated. Back in 1996, this was amazing but nowadays? It can be hard to reccoment it.


Control
The analog stick moves mario and tilting it farther makes him run, getting rid of a run button. Thank god..i cant imagine playing a game like this with a run button and no analog sticvk haha..ha..they wouldnt do that right? Ha...ha.....anyway... You cna jump like normal but after you land if you press A again you can do a double jump, do it again and you can do a triple jump. This can help you reach higher areas, and with the new Wall Jump, you're pretty athletic in this game. Everything controls pretty fine, though the N64 controller is still...meh to me. I prefer playing on a wii emulator with a Gamecube controller or something. You cna do long jumps, wall jumps, flip jumps, ground pounds, its a lot to absorb but the game does a decent job teaching you the controls without forcing them on you.

Music
Dire Dire Docks and Koopa Road? Amazing. The credits theme? Fantastic. Everything else? Meh. Its only okay. Its either too atmospheric or too bland.

Overall
Its..oh? Theres a DS version? Fine


Gameplay
Pretty much the same. There are now 4 playable characters. Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Yoshi. They each have the same overall play style. Mairo is the same as he was in the original, Luigi can jump higher, run faster, run on water [Insert jesus joke here], Wario can...uh...move a ton slower and..jump a lot lower and...break black bricks..yeha, you should never play as Wario unless its mandatory. Yoshi can flutter jump and eat enemies, turning them into eggs and tossing them. There are also Transform caps to morph into other characters. Everyone has specific power ups. Mario can turn into a balloon, Yoshi can shoot fire, Wario cna use the Metal Cap, and Luigi can turn invisible. They're sitll situational but not as bad. They added 30 stars, making the new total 150. So it has enough added content to make the game worth existing unlike other remakes. Theres also mini games added, which are fine i guess. So youd think this is the best version of Mario 64..NOPE. One problem and thats...

Controls
A 3D game..WITH A D-PAD. Yeah...the DS didnt have an analog stick so instead we have this monstrocity of a D-Pad to control your character and it ruins the game for me. Because the D-Pad is a thing, they added a run button...Ew. So now to do a long jump you have to press like 4+ buttons. Moving diagonally is fucking weird and jarring and the bottom screen is even worse. Because its a flat surface and not an analog stick it just feels terrible and awkward. They should have waited for the 3DS or somehting. I cant reccomend it...

Overall
Its dated, but its still a fun time. It doesnt look great and the controls are a bit meh at times but overall? Its a fun expirience id reccomend to all 2 of you that havent played it but..be warned that this is 1996 and 3D platformers werent a common thing.

Next up is Super Mario Galaxy! W..What? What do you mean theres another game? Nah there isnt, I have no idea what you're-

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Super_mario_sunshine.jpg/250px-Super_mario_sunshine.jpg

*Cries* N..Next time is...*Sigh* Super Mario Sunshine....
_____________________________________________

Umbreon
12-16-2015, 03:09 AM
While we wait for the ERB, look at sly 2 with me!

Time to play a favorite form my Childhood! Its Sly 2, i havent played this game since 2005 or so and im looking forward to my revisit :) THe game still looks really good actually, the cell shaded style they went with really makes the game age greatly in terms of graphical style. I like the way it looks. I remember hating clue bottles as a kid so ill get them over with i guess, there seems to be 30 in the whole hub world. Im not sure if they include missions or whatever but ill try to cover the hub world. FOURTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES LATEER IMS TILL LOOKING FOR THESE DMAN THINGS. IM 29 OUT OF THIRTY AND HATE IT AND ughh. FINALLY. Im going over an hour for this one because ive spent 49 minutes here already. I cna play as Sly and Bently? Thats cool, i like that. They all play the same pretty much with minor differences, which is how you do multiple characters well. *Looks at Sonic* Anyways...Everything seems to be pretty fun. COllecting coins to buy moves and items and stuff and its pretty fun. There really isnt much to say with this one, its just a fun little platformer stealth game. THe missions seem to have a lot of variety, which is very nice. Im supposed to be starting the last mission of this world but..moneyyyyy. Yes, im that kinda player guys. I colelct money before anything else. Found the vault and got my first move with the clue bottles, which is just a move from Sly 1. Meh. Boss time! This boss sucks...ughhhhhhh. I died like three times, meh. This boss also seems to not have a big purpose in the story but its the first boss so..

So thats Sly 2 and Yes im gonna finish it! Its fun, though clue hunting can be annoying.

Turtlesauce
12-16-2015, 03:11 AM
I love these because it always seems like we're there with you, trying the game

Umbreon
12-16-2015, 03:13 AM
I love these because it always seems like we're there with you, trying the game

My original plan was streaming them for the first hour but no capture card to do it with :(

Umbreon
12-18-2015, 09:00 AM
http://i.imgur.com/zz9GvfU.jpg

Can you feel the sunshine?
Does it brighten up your day?
Don't you feel that sometimes
You just need to run away?
Reach out for the sunshine
Forget about the rain
Just think about the good times
And they will come back again

Sorry...had to...

Okay so..in most of my reviews i try to be unbiased but...With this..I dont know. Like...I have a hatred for this game. A big hatred but on the other hand its not bad but...on the other hand...Its fun! Sometimes...kinda...sorta...look, lets just get this over with. This is Super Mario Sunshine! After Mario 64 was a success, Mairo Sunshine was created soon after and released 5 years later, does it hold up? Its the mario game some hate and some love to death, its time for Sunshine...*Groans*

Story
Mario and the gang are on a plane heading to their new vacation spot: Isle Delfino. On the way Peach watches an ad for the place and sees a silvery black mario like figure in the background. When they land they're attacked by a Goo Monster in the form of a pirhana. To save the day Mario finds a machine called F.L.U.D.D (Flash-Liquid-Ultra-Dousing-Devise) and he uses it to stop the monster. Afterwards, police arrive and arrest mario for destroying their homeland and sentence him to clean the whole island. How they confused a Red wearing italian with a goo creature that only looks kind of like him? Because...uh...they took legal advice from the government in Sonic Adventure 2? I dunno. Due process, the right to an attorney, well executed statements, proper evidence, the people of Isle Delfino say FUCK YOU to all of them! The inhabitants are the Piantas who CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES. They arent all terrible but..yeah, they're 99% horrible people and stupid creatures. We'll get to that more later...After Mario saves enough shines he discovers that the creature was Bowser Jr. All along! Who is fucking annoying...but whatever. He says that Peach is his mother..to which she replies "Im your mama?" which means she had to fucking think about it and she obviously fucked Bowser but thats none of my buisiness. He apparently scattered all the Shine Sprites, the thing the island uses as a power source, to draw mario to the island and capture him. The civilians can fucking SEE mario AND SHADOW MARIO AT THE SAME TIME AND HE STILL GETS IN TROUBLE

Graphics
The game looks beautiful. Its bright and colorful, decently varied looking, it has great looking water and models for an early gamecube game. It still holds up pretty well today, i actually would like an HD Sunshine, it'd look great as long as they update the models a little bit. The cutscenes look ugly on a full screen TV though. If you dont like the Beach setting it looks boring, though.


Gameplay
The game kinda sorta plays like mario 64? You go through a number of Open Ended levels colelcitng Stars (Shine Sprites in this case) and doing missions. Its all around the same style, which i like. I like the level design in this game, they go with a Tropical theme which you think would get really old really fast but..it doesnt. Theres enough variety in the design to make the player not bored..no, Other things do the bore job nicely in this but...we'll get to that later. Your flexibility is the same without the punching, kicking, or long jump. I miss the long jump but..i dont really mind it much. FLUDD is an exclusive feature for this game. By default you have the Hover-Nozzle and Squirt Nozzle. The Squirt Nozzle can be used to spray water to clean goop and attack enemies. The hover nozzle lets you levitate a few seconds, it works great and is fun to use. You can also unlock the Rocket Nozzle, which lets you blast into the air really high, and the Turbo Nozzle, which lets you go super fast. I like Fludd a lot and would love to see them try him again, he's fun. I wish his unlockable abilities would be more useful and i wish you cna hold on to more than 1 nozzle at once except for the Squirt but..I wont lose sleep over it. They arent nearly as situational as Mario 64, but they're still situational as fuck and i wish they werent as useless at times. I wish they werent as situational and were permanent, thus allowing more complex level design and a more versatile moveset for mario. After beating the third level in the game you unlock Yoshi! He can do the basic stuff you expect, eat enemies, flutter jump, etc. He can also...well...no other way to say it but...He can throw up on enemies similar to Fludd shooting water. So you may think I love this game! Well..yes and...no..and..yes..and..kinda..*Sigh* Lets get this over with, to get to Bowser you need to beat missions 1-7 of every world, already that kinda sucks. In 64, you just needed 70. ANY 70. Thus adding replay value to what missions you do and when, Sunshine doesnt have that. Im glad Mario Galaxy brings this back and adds more replay value. Its also not as open as 64, a lot of the missions are only doable when you choose that mission, so you cant get them out of order most of the time. I get the stars in order anyways so it doesnt bother me much but I can see it bothering some. *Sigh* time for talking about 100%. Mario 64 had 15 courses with 6 stars each plus a 100 coins star. Mario Sunshine has 7 courses with 8 stars each PLUS 100 coins and And two secret missions in each course. You guys know i HATE 100 coins in 64, guess what? THEY MADE IT WORSE. In 64, 100 coins were possible in any mission. In Sunshine? ONLY A SELECT FEW ARE POSSIBLE AND THEY DONT TELL YOU WHICH ANYWHERE. you have 95 coins? TOO BAD! THERE ARENT 5 MORE IN THE LEVEL. Go do it again and hope you pick a better mision this time! Theres also a lot less coins in levels so you have to be more perfect and percise. But wait, I hear you ask, If you get 1 shine for beating the monster at the beginning, and 11 per course that leaves you with 78 Shine Sprites. Which means that 42 are missing! Where are they? IN FUCKING HELL. The hub world itself has Shine Sprites to collect. Some are fine and simple, while most CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES. That toxic river? FUCK YOU. That stupid Pachinko machine? FUCK YOU. Most of these missions are either trial and error, horribly designed, horribly executed, or just simply HORRIBLE. I have NEVER wanted to throw a controller as much as when i played Mario Sunshine. its near Ghosts n' Goblins levels of bullshit. A normal playthrough of Sunshine? 6-7 hours usually. 1005? EIGHTEEN. EIGHTEEN FUCKING HOURS. THATS TWELVE EXTRA HOURS. But wait, I hear you ask, How could it add 12 hours with simple missions, even if they're hard or annoying, twelve hours? OH, IM NOT AT THE WORST PART. TWO WORDS. Blue. Coins. In Mario 64, they're cool. They give you 5 coins for collecting them, fine. In here? FUCKING TERRIBLE. Every level has 30 and IN EVERY FUCKING ONE YOU WILL SPEND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS IN THESE DAMN LEVELS LOOKING IN EVERY FUCKING CORNER FOR THEM. What do they do? They're currency for shines. Im gonna repeat that: CURRENCY. FOR. SHINES. THESE FUCKERS SEND ME ON A QUEST TO GET THE SHINE SPRITES AND THEN THEY FUCKING TRY TO SELL THEM TO ME. THEY ARE KEEPING THEIR ISLAND'S POWER SOURCE FROM ME WHEN THEY WANT ME TO COLLECT IT. Also, if they have them and sell them to me WHY DO THEY NEED ME TO COLLECT THEM? THEY ALREADY FUCKING HAVE THEM. I know the Piantas arent the ones selling them but NO ONE ARRESTS THEM? 240 Blue coins in the whole damn game. Its so fucking terrible. EVERY SECOND OF THIS DAMN GAME IS TORTURE. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT. Oh, and what do you get for 100%ing the game? NOTHING. A FUCKING POSTCARD. YOU SPEND EIGHTEEN HOURS IN HELL FOR A FUCKING PICTURE. THATS IT. NO OTHER CHARACTERS, NO NEW LEVELS, NO NEW NOZZLES, NO NEW AREAS OR ANYTHING. A FUCKING POSTCARD. But WAIT, you fucking ask. You get nothing in 64 either! Yeah, well the difference is MARIO 64 WAS FUN. MARIO 64 HAD NOWHERE NEAR THE AMOUNT OF HORRIBLY DESIGNED MISSIONS THIS FUCKING GAME DOES. With Mario 64, im having fun 90% of the time. Here? I almost never fucking have fun. FUCK. MARIO. SUNSHINE. In other games, I GET SOMETHING. Ratchet and Clank? Cheats. Crash 2? The best ending and bonus stages. Sonic Colors? Super Sonic. But here? NOTHING BUT A FUCKING POSTCARD. Yes, the destination isnt important its the journey that matters. But guess what? THE JOURNEY SUCKS SO TERRIBLY.

Control
The gamecube controller is perfection. I love this damn controller, it fits perfectly in your hands, the buttons are in the correct position, nothing's awkward, its probably the best game controller ever made. Mario's controls are fine tuned and made a lot better than in 64. The camera is mapped to the control stick, which makes it a lot better, the camera in general is great, its a great controlling game. Movement is smooth and response time is slick, its great. It feels a lot better than 64.

Music
Its okay. I cant remember much but its not...bad. I like a few songs here and there.

Overall
I dont know..When you arent 100%ing it, its fun! It controls well, looks great, has good level design and ideas but...when you 100% it its the worst fucking thing ever. Its tedious and boring and repetitive and horrible and its just...UGHHHHHHHHHHH. I suggest trying the game and seeing if you enjoy it...but i really dont enjoy it. Playing it normally is fucking great. Its better than Mario 64 but..100%ing it is..legit one of the worst expiriences of my life.


Next up is Mario Galaxy!