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Lancer
07-06-2015, 03:10 AM
Hi! I'm Mancha, and as you know, I write these rap things all the damn time. Sometimes it's nice to look at other people's writing and help them improve, so this is what that's for!

Here, you can post a verse or few for me to chisel (term stolen from king of chiseling Mat4yo) for yourself--all I ask is that you keep requests to a minimum and give me a reference guide alongside it, so I can incorporate all your content best as possible. I also need to know the matchup, of course.

Example of my chiseling:



This isn't personal, just a contract from a man with a problem
Said there's a self-righteous monster terrorizing Gotham
Let me slap some sense into you, you've probably forgotten
Does your "one rule" not apply on the Joker and Robin?
You went bat-shit crazy because your parents died. Chill
You can't lie to me, It's not for justice, but for the thrill
I don't need Witcher's sense to figure out what you are, I'm not fooled by your charade
I gain pieces of your "superpower" after each contract, ha, I can toss away my silver blade




Nothing personal, Batsy, my contract is a single problem
Vain Wayne came from the skies and now he's terrorizing Gotham
Reeks of guano, ego's rotten, it seems this batshit boy's forgotten
that, shoot, his golden rule was lost on both the Joker and your Robin
It's a-parent that you're batty, man, the alley holds your dreadful fate
See through your lies! You're "justice" blind as the bats you love to emulate
Leave you beWitched, which sensibly, shows your charade's not fooling me!
I toss away my silver blade to fight this vigilante!


See, I'll keep the major point of your line and give it a lyrical upgrade. I also will explain why the lines I changed actually required a change.

Also, no, I will not do REWFs, only non-forum related battles please.

Turtlesauce
07-06-2015, 03:13 AM
Basically, he takes your verses, makes them ten times better, and makes your rapping better as well in the process.

10/10 I would pay for this

TheDiamondPiggy
07-06-2015, 10:15 AM
Hey Mancha, been a big fan of yours for a while now, just wondered if you could touch this up a bit, and maybe replace the swears with another word or phrase that fits?

Diamond's Rap Matches On Youtube
Trevenant VS The Great Deku Tree
Written by Eddie Bulmer, 12

Trevenant:

It's Trevenant, Roaming through the forests with malevolence
This vicious coniferous chops down a tree with benevolence
I'm Phan-trumping you in every way, your raps are just hollow
I'll trap you in my woods, so you do not dare to follow
I'll Ingrain you a Forest's Curse, and this time not from Gerudo
Ought to Will-O-Wisp a bitch, make red earth like the start of Hyrule (oh!)
My raps are Astonishing, call me MC Wood Hammer
Because this lonely Deku Nut's wood will never be loved by Lana

Great Deku Tree:

It's time for this Elder to smelt a pestering Deku Scrub
I'm like a topiary, you are just a puny shrub
I'm a wise might to fight, there's no forging friendships in my land!
I'm gonna win! Knock on wood, and I don't even need hands!
Your ability will not cure my natural sense of knowledge
I'm helping save the world, where you're just fiddling in foliage
You will not Phantom Force out of this when you are stuck in my Meadow
You just lost, woods, go back to Chipper's Lumber Co.



Rap Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1gxLV8KHgI

Turtlesauce
07-06-2015, 10:16 AM
Remember to give a reference guide :P

TheDiamondPiggy
07-06-2015, 11:10 AM
It's Trevenant, Roaming through the forests with malevolence
Trevenant is rapping, it lives in the forest, and it's evil. Not much to say about this one

This vicious coniferous chops down a tree with benevolence
Trevenant is vicious, because it lures children into the forest and traps them forever. Also, it rhymes with coniferous, which Trevenant would likely be classified as, due to the spikes. The Great Deku Tree has benevolence as he sent Link to go and remove the curse planted on him, and is overall a powerful ally to the player in Ocarina Of Time.

I'm Phan-trumping you in every way, your raps are just hollow
Phan-trump is a portmanteau of Phantump, Trevenant's pre evolution, and trump, to beat/overcome. Hollow raps mean his references don't go far as they are just hollow. It's a tree joke.
I'll trap you in my woods, so you do not dare to follow
In the pokedex for Pokemon X, it says that he traps people who harm the forest in his woods for eternity. Trevenant is implying that he is the woods and the disses against him are harming him.

I'll Ingrain you a Forest's Curse, and this time not from Gerudo
Kinda a fancy way of saying "I'll give you a curse, but one that's different from the one that the Gerudo gave you". Forest's Curse and Ingrain are both Pokemon moves, and the Gerudo king placed a curse on the Great Deku Tree, so Trevenant says he will curse him, but a different, possibly more powerful curse than the one previously bestowed upon him.

Ought to Will-O-Wisp a bitch, make red earth like the start of Hyrule (oh!)
Trevenant calls Great Deku Tree a bitch, and should be burned. Fire is generally red, so Trevenant says while him and the earth around him is burning, it will be red, just like in the Creation of Hyrule story, where the three goddesses "cultivated the land and created the red earth". Will-O-Wisp is a pokemon move that Trevenant learns, and when used, burns the opponent.

My raps are Astonishing, call me MC Wood Hammer
Astonish is a pokemon move, and Trevenant will shock The Great Deku Tree with the quality of his raps, or "astonish" him. MC Hammer is a popular music maker guy (IDK too much about him at all) But MC is a common term used in rap, and Wood Hammer is a move that Trevenant learns, so he connects the two, calling himself "MC Wood Hammer". Another portmanteau.

Because this lonely Deku Nut's wood will never be loved by Lana
A deku nut is an item in the LOZ series, and it is small and weak, so Trevenant compares this great celestial deity to a deku nut. Also, calling him a nut means that he is crazy. Lana uses The Great Deku Tree to fight in Hyrule Warriors, and Lana is pretty much Great Deku Tree's only shot at "love", so Trevenant says Lana will never like his genitals, and will not be with him, reiterating the "lonely". Wood is a slang term for genitals.


It's time for this Elder to smelt a pestering Deku Scrub
Once again a simple line. Comparing Trevenant to a Deku Scrub, Trevenant is annoying him, Great Deku Tree will put an end to Trevenant.
I'm like a topiary, you are just a puny shrub
Just a but of a filler line that refrences how Great Deku Tree is MASSIVE compared to Trevenant. Also, Comparing to an inferior thing, blah blah, you get the idea.

I'm a wise might to fight, there's no forging friendships in my land!
He says that he is wise, and he is, because of how long he has been around. The first episode of the anime for Pokemon that Trevenant was in was named "Forging Forest Friendships!" where a Trevenant kidnaps Ash to get help.

I'm gonna win! Knock on wood, and I don't even need hands!
The Great Deku Tree obviously has no hands, but when he says "knock on wood", he is implying that he will punch Trevenant, or beat him. Usually you need hands to punch something. Also, the "I'm gonna win!" sets up so that "Knock on wood" makes sense as that is proper use of the phrase.
Your ability will not cure my natural sense of knowledge
One of Trevenant's abilities that he can have is called "Natural Cure". He says that regardless of his ability, Trevenant cannot cure his "natural" sense of knowledge.

I'm helping save the world, where you're just fiddling in foliage
The Great Deku Tree has a big backstory that I won't delve into here, look it up on the Zelda wiki, but basically he does help save the world by using Navi to get link to fight Ganondorf, thus saving Hyrule. Trevenants just kinda live in forests and don't do anything major to Kalos.

You will not Phantom Force out of this when you are stuck in my Meadow
Phantom Force is one of Trevenant's attacks that involves him disappearing and reappearing in a different place to attack the enemy. Great Deku Tree claims that when Trevenant realizes that he is losing, he will try to Phantom Force out of his terrain, or The Great Deku Tree's Meadow, which Link is sent to after defeating the Forest Temple.

You just lost, woods, go back to Chipper's Lumber Co.
Lost Woods is a place in the LOZ universe, and The Great Deku Tree says that Trevenant lost, so it is a pun using Lost Woods, and in the game Chipper and Sons Lumber Co, There are monsters that can be destroyed using a watering can that look very similar to Trevenant. Trevenant is referred to as being "woods", as a reference to the previous line "I'll trap you in my woods, so you do not dare to follow".

Clemi
07-06-2015, 06:04 PM
Basically, he takes your verses, makes them ten times better, and makes your rapping better as well in the process.

10/10 I would pay for this

That'd be interesting if you could also explain the steps for this

Lancer
07-06-2015, 07:02 PM
Here you go, anyways!

Trevenant vs Great Deku Tree, MaNCHizzl'd

Trevenant
It's Trevenant! This treant strolls through forests with malevolence!
Vicious coniferous spits disses to combat your benevolence!
Entrap you with raps, I'm Phan-trumping you with rhyme
Until I seal your demise like Ocarina of Time!
My verse contains a Forest's Curse much worse than that of Ganondorf
You're Geru-doomed as I spit burns to Will-o-Wisp and leave you scorched!
MC Wood Hammer can crush this rotten pinnacle of knowledge
So watch me smash your Deku Nuts and leave you quite Astonished!

Great Deku Tree
Respect your elders, son, you're a sniveling wimp of a Deku Scrub!
Above you in every way it seems I'll have to Cut this pesky shrub!
Just try to fight the wisest might! A knock on wood won't help your luck!
Forge friendships all you want 'cuz either way it seems you're forest fucked!
You lack ability on the mic, so you can't Harvest up a victory!
Keep playing in your fields while I'm shaping hero destinies!
My meadow is eternal, don't even dare to Phantom Force a win!
'Cuz you just lost, woods, my diss strikes deeper than my beast within!



Changelog:

I reference the lines you wrote. Sorry if I'm harsh.

Trevenant:

Line 1: Trevenant is a treant, so I added that for extra syllables.

Line 2: The way you worded it, it seemed like the chopping was done with benevolence, not the tree possessing benevolence, so I reworded it and added a rhyme.

Lines 3 and 4: Very fillery, especially 4. Phan-trump is good, and the trap is good, so I expanded on it, raps implying that it could be a trap beat (heh) and also making a threat as opposed to a warning. The original line was weak because Trevenant wasn't taking action.

Line 5: Your use of Ingrain didn't make sense, but the Forest Curse reference is excellent. Edited the rhyme as well.

Line 6: The wording here was weird, and rhyming with an extraneous interjection is usually a bad idea, so I fixed that, re-added the Gerudo reference, and ye.

Line 7: Beefed it up. Can crush this ~ can't touch this, yes?

Line 8: This line's really cringy. Because I don't think GDT essentially would seek Lana for love (let alone ignoring the fact that trees have no genitals comparable to humans'), I scrapped it. Don't do lines about love except if there's an objective reference, like I still love you Alex! Bullshit! Your sex life is Terminated! Thus, I moved down the Astonish line and kept a Nuts joke.

Great Deku Tree:

Line 1: GDT can't smelt, smelting involves fire, and GDT's a tree. It'd work for Hephaestus or something, but not a tree. Respect your elders joke, Deku Scrubs hide when you get near them..

Line 2: This works, but it's kinda dumb. Above as in taller and better, Cut as in HM01 / Link cutting stuff.

Line 3/4: Reworded for personal preference. I thought forest fucked sounded funny because of alliteration, if you don't like that, let me know.

Line 5: Pretty ok. I switched abilities, because "curing knowledge" is contradictory.

Line 6: "fiddling in foliage" isn't really a diss.

Line 7: Reworded.

Line 8: The reference seems a bit tacked on, and the game is really obscure IMO, so that's a big no-no. Instead, I referenced Gohma, the boss inside the GDT.

TheDiamondPiggy
07-06-2015, 07:16 PM
Wow, thanks! You made it a ton better! Would you be willing to voice GDT?I know you did it for GASRB, and I loved your voice in that. If there are any requirements i'm missing when asking for a collab, please tell me. Also, I loved the changelog that you added. Helped me see where I screwed up and how I can improve. TheDiamondPiggy give this chiseling service 10/10!

Lancer
07-06-2015, 07:27 PM
Wow, thanks! You made it a ton better! Would you be willing to voice GDT?I know you did it for GASRB, and I loved your voice in that. If there are any requirements i'm missing when asking for a collab, please tell me. Also, I loved the changelog that you added. Helped me see where I screwed up and how I can improve. TheDiamondPiggy give this chiseling service 10/10!

I'll have to see how things come up, I can do it if I've got time, but I'm out of town atm without my mic, and I don't know my schedule when I get back, but quite possibly. I'd recommend getting a different beat as well as to not come off as copying B-Lo too much.

TheDiamondPiggy
07-06-2015, 07:30 PM
Cool, can do! Thanks again!
Hey, this isn't even a big project. If you don't want to do it or it would cause too much inconvenience, just say the word. I don't want to trouble you.

Adonis
07-06-2015, 07:41 PM
Can you chisel my verses from me vs clemi? I always saw flow as sort of a strong point in my raps before I quit, but now that I came back it's not the same,

Call it a lyrical slap, but to me it's just a French talking smack.
i wouldn't let you see the light of day if your time zone wasn't whack
Ask the ERBoF crew, you were always of no use.
Get a Mod ready to ban me again, another act of Verbal Abuse
Im a bit rusty to this shit, but it doesn't matter when YOU rap at me
I don't need to try to kick your ass I do it fucking casually.
I'd stay and chat but unlike you I don't have all day.
Eat your verses one by one and Call it a CLEM BRŘL…E


Hon Hon Hon all you want, but you cant handle all of my dissin
have Sam review this battle you'll score less points then France in Eurovision.
I've eaten you alive, and now my appetites been Sated
Sorry Clemi, but you've been (checkyourprivileged) and ELIMINATED

Turtlesauce
07-07-2015, 01:54 AM
He said he doesn't do forum stuff

Adonis
07-07-2015, 02:24 AM
He said he doesn't do forum stuff

yea I already talked to him

TheDiamondPiggy
07-09-2015, 12:44 PM
Is there a limit to how many battles I can post here for revision?

Lancer
07-13-2015, 05:07 PM
Sorry for the late reply! I've been busy doing stuff offline. I'd appreciate it if you didn't post too many, I'm happy to do them, just don't swarm me with stuff. : )

Turtlesauce
07-14-2015, 05:39 AM
Hey Manch!

Followed your advice, and followed the beat while making a battle. This resulted.
(http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthread.php?12066-Turtlesauce-s-Saucey-Battles&p=408087&viewfull=1#post408087)
I know I could've had better references, I was more focused on the beat.

Could you tell me what I can do better next time, and maybe MaNCHizzle parts of it?

That would be awesome, thanks a lot!

TheDiamondPiggy
07-14-2015, 09:22 AM
I took this one down because Mat4Yo is gonna chisel it instead. If he is busy I'll come to you.

Lancer
07-17-2015, 11:09 PM
Just a heads up, I'll have these Sunday afternoon for you, currently traveling back home from vacation!

Turtlesauce
07-18-2015, 03:52 AM
Just a heads up, I'll have these Sunday afternoon for you, currently traveling back home from vacation!

Sure, man, no rush : D

Lancer
07-19-2015, 01:01 PM
Alright, Turtle, here you go! It started off very well and then slowly declined as you wrote through it, and the changes thus reflect that. Basically, you exhausted your references early on. Over all, I really liked it, though! Going to record this for fun as soon as I have time.

Jack Frost:
Who's got the flow so cold to Fries Victor
Jack Frost is cracking this ice cold Mister
Ex-scientist, got sacked, froze, and turned bitter
You represent hate, yet I represent winter
Rhymes iller than your wife, I flow like black ice
Step to Jack and you'll see how bad that Frost Bites
I'm a sprite, kids delight when they see a true hero
Your skill matches your temperature: way below zero!

Mr. Freeze:
You need to chill out, Jack, ripping off your Dad
You can't come at me, I'm cold-steel-clad
So let me break the ice, see, I've heard of your sister
Now you waste away your time nose-nipping with your mischief
When Gotham won't thaw, my rule shall be Law
I have perfected myself to the point of no flaw
You don't realize.. your powers.. what have you done?
You threw away your potential to guard over all fun?

Jack Frost:
Your frozen heart melts as I make you perspire
Since despite my cool powers, on the mic I spit fire!
Still my disses are frigid, because the temperature is droppin'
Like the reviews of your movie called Batman and Robin

Mr Freeze:
Punk, I'm bigger, crueler, and cooler than you
And I Rise to terminate like alter egos do!
I'm returning to my studies since you just Jack Lost!
Wipe you away like a window that you'd cover in frost!

Turtlesauce
07-19-2015, 01:23 PM
Wow, thanks Manch! Yeah, I pretty much realised I fucked up and ran out of smart references by the end. I'm surprised you kept the first verse like it was, that's awesome.

also I really like the stuff you changed, thanks a lot.

you're...

...cool



YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH

Umbreon
07-20-2015, 02:02 AM
Chisel pls








UMBREON RAP BATTLEEEEES!
SLIPKNOT!
VERSUS!
HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD!
BEGIN!

HU:

You better Knot Slip up when rapping against Charlie Scene
Get ready because we'll Hate, Beat, Kill, Repeat!
We're rap rock rap gods who're coming in and rap hard
All Hope is Gone when you rap against superstars
Our flow so dark should fill your hearts with fear
When im through with you you'll have way more than 3 tears
Its the day of the dead cant you get it through your head
Hollywood Undead will beat you 'till there's nothing left
You're chances are looking Gray so you better quit now
Here's a subliminal verse: nwod uoy kconk ll'ew

SK
You better flee the Scene before we get mean
We Are metal machines, you're Linkin park wannabes!
Dont step to us or you'll really be undead
You better watch your step or you'll get a bullet in your head
You got something to say go ahead and Spit it Out
Take another verse so we can show what hardcore is all about
You're about to be Fehnished, you cant take much more, punks
Your first verse sucked so go ahed and give it a redux
You cant step to us, what else can we say, you're music's the plague
You're just The Kids who need to be put in their place!

HU:
Its Lights Out for you and we wont Apologize
After we kicked your ass and you get Left Behind
We rocked the stage since 2008, you've met your fate its way too late
You better escape and hide your face in shame as you run away
When we're through with you, you'll sing your Swan Song
??? Gonewrong!
I think we'll end it here, I hope ya learned your lesson or you're a dead man
Nobody messes with Hollywood Undead, man!

SK:
Everything Ends here your verse was a Disasterpiece
We'll rock you so hard and Wait while you Bleed
We're coming in quick from '96 i bet the kids
Who listen to your shit dont even know what music is!
Everything you do is a disasterpiece
We're masterfully crafting your end chatastrophe
We kicked your asses and Came In Hot
You brats should know nobody fucks with Slipknot

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
UMBREOOOOOOON SCREAMS RAAAAP BATTLES!





Reference Guide


UMBREON RAP BATTLEEEEES!
SLIPKNOT!
VERSUS!
HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD!
BEGIN!

HU:

You better Knot Slip up when rapping against Charlie Scene
Knot Slip is Slipknot reversed, obvious joke is obvious
Get ready because we'll Hate, Beat, Kill, Repeat!
Mate.Feed.Kill.Repeat is Slipknots first release
We're rap rock rap gods who're coming in and rap hard
All Hope is Gone when you rap against superstars
All Hope Is Gone is Slipknot's fourth album
Our flow so dark should fill your hearts with fear
When im through with you you'll have way more than 3 tears
A member of HU is named 3tears
Its the day of the dead cant you get it through your head
Day of the Dead is a HU album
Hollywood Undead will beat you 'till there's nothing left
Nothing's Left is a HU song
You're chances are looking Gray so you better quit now
Paul Gray was the bassist of Slipknot. Gray Chapter i a Slipknot album
Here's a subliminal verse: nwod uoy kconk ll'ew
Metal bands are often accused of adding subliminal messages. Slipknot hs an šlbum called Subliminal Verses

SK
You better flee the Scene before we get mean
Charlie Scene is a member of HU
We Are metal machines, you're Linkin park wannabes!
Linkin Park was one of the first rap rock groups and on of th most popular
Dont step to us or you'll really be undead
You better watch your step or you'll get a bullet in your head
Bullet is one of HU's best known songs
You got something to say go ahead and Spit it Out
Spit it Out is š Slipknot song
Take another verse so we can show what hardcore is all about
You're about to be Fehnished, you cant take much more, punks
Fehn is a member of slipknot
Your first verse sucked so go ahed and give it a redux
HU has released a redux album of remixes
You cant step to us, what else can we say, you're music's the plague
You're just The Kids who need to be put in their place!
The Kids is a HU song

HU:
Its Lights Out for you and we wont Apologize
After we kicked your ass and you get Left Behind
Lights Out, Apologize, and Left behind are all songs
We rocked the stage since 2008, you've met your fate its way too late
Hollywood Undead's first album was released in 2008
You better escape and hide your face in shame as you run away
Both bands wear masks to hide thir face
When we're through with you, you'll sing your Swan Song
Swan Song is a last preformance before retirement. HU'S first album was called Swan Ongs
??? Gone wrong!
Cant think of a line ;-;
I think we'll end it here, I hope ya learned your lesson or you're a dead man
Nobody messes with Hollywood Undead, man!

SK:
Everything Ends here your verse was a Disasterpiece
We'll rock you so hard and Wait while you Bleed
Disasterpiece and While You Bleed are Slipknot songs
We're coming in quick from '96 i bet the kids
Slipknot formed in 1996
Who listen to your shit dont even know what music is!
Because you're a disease to the music industry
Disease is a Hollywood Undead song
And hopefully your fans'll see how much you suck lyrically!
We kicked your asses and Came In Hot
Come in Hot is a Hollyood Undead song
You brats should know nobody fucks with Slipknot

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
UMBREOOOOOOON SCREAMS RAAAAP BATTLES!

BKTurner47
07-20-2015, 07:16 PM
Dear Mancha, can you ManChizzle this battle I made?

The Chairman: Iím the Chairman of the Board, and this battle wonít be pretty!
Iíll move and shake around this furniture item from your little Paris city!
Truth comes to truth, youíre just an antique piece of shit.
Something sold at a flea market for fairy tale creations!
My name strikes fear into the hearts of Toons throughout the nation,
while your name wouldnít even be known if it werenít for Disney-fication.
And when youíre all old and decayed, all the townspeople will move on!
Since youíll never find a girl to turn your bejeweled cogs Gast-on!

Cogsworth: If I had a penny for every cog Iíve seen in your game,
Iíd be richer than the CFO, and Iíd put the Robber Barons to shame!
Youíre a rusty piece of metal, an old hunk of fuck!
Activated only because of the screw-ups of Scrooge McDuck!
I donít mean to get your Gyro Gears-loose, but Iím going to defeat you!
I guess with my lyrical flow, Iím Toon much for you!
Youíre all work and no play, but when you play, you explode!
Youíre not the big-wig of my house, youíre just an ugly bridge troll!

The Chairman: Say that one more time, and Iíll remove your whiskers out.
Iíll evict you and restrain you from your little House of Mouse.
When it comes to bringing the apocalypse, Iím a full-blown prophet!
So admit your failure, Cogsworth and come out of the closet!

Cogsworth: Out of the closet? Man, fuck this! I quit!

Announcer: Uh... Anyone out there who can finish this battle? Anyone... anyone?

Lumiere: I can.
You following me, businessman? ĎCuz this about to get furious!
Youíre gonna be my guest until your circuitry goes delirious!
Your spooky scary Skelecogs are all just in a factory line.
Iíll rip through place to place, but you will never get the punchline!
You try to invade districts of a town? You claim to own a throne?
Youíre not even worthy of my presence! Put Luke Ross on the phone!
Iíll hang up on you, swish and swash you like a lyrical invader!
Youíre the wannabe Terminator, huh? Iím the bot exterminator!

Announcer: WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!

EPIC! *Big Wig flies across the screen* RAP BATTLES OF BIGKIDRANT3!!!!!

Lancer
07-22-2015, 10:44 AM
Umbreon's Hollywood Undead vs Slipknot

A lot of the lines flowed really well in this, and as I'm not too familiar with the bands much, I can't make many suggestions reference wise, so here's my edited version, largely for flow. Future recommendations: don't overuse you're/your/you/we're/etc. and don't re-use references, I couldn't find a way to remove the double The Kids / Scene stuff but I removed your double Disasterpiece. Redundancy in rap battles makes it boring throughout.

Also, I'd recommend not ever having a verse that's not divisible by 4 lines, but that's just me.

HU:
You better Knot Slip up when rapping against Charlie Scene
Get ready because we'll Hate, Beat, Kill, Repeat!
We're rap rock rap gods: coming in and rapping hard
Because All Hope is Gone when you're against superstars
Our flow so dark should fill your hearts with fear
When we're through with you you'll have way more than 3 tears
Because we'll be beating your asses until Nothing's Left
Since we're celebrating you, it's the Day of the Dead!
Your chances look pretty Gray so you better quit now
Here's a subliminal verse: nwod uoy kconk ll'ew

SK:
Look, you better flee the Scene before Slipknot gets mean
We're metal machines, you Linkin Park wannabes!
Dont step to us or you'll really be undead
When you all tumble over from a Bullet in your head
You got something to say go ahead and Spit it Out
Take another verse so we can show what hardcore is all about
You're about to be Fehnished, so try to take a bit more, punks
Your first verse sucked so go give it a redux
Hearts blacker than your music that calls back to the plague
You're just The Kids who need to be put in their place!

HU:
Its Lights Out for you and we wont Apologize
After we kick your ass and you get Left Behind
We rocked the stage since 2008, you've met your fate way too late
So escape and hide your faces in shame as you run away
When we're through with you, you'll be singing your Swan Song
Because you're just a bunch of Psycho socialists Gonewrong!
I think we'll end it here, learn your lesson or you're a dead man
Nobody messes with Hollywood Undead, man!

SK:
Everything Ends here your verse was a Disasterpiece
We'll rock you so hard and Wait while you Bleed
Coming in quick from '96, you see, i bet the kids
Who listen to your shit dont even know what music is!
You're a disease to the whole music industry
We're masterfully crafting your chatastrophe
Slip spit fire, boy, we really Came In Hot
You brats should know nobody dares to fuck with Slipknot


next is bigkidrant3's chairman vs cogsworth

BKTurner47
07-22-2015, 01:08 PM
Umbreon's Hollywood Undead vs Slipknot

A lot of the lines flowed really well in this, and as I'm not too familiar with the bands much, I can't make many suggestions reference wise, so here's my edited version, largely for flow. Future recommendations: don't overuse you're/your/you/we're/etc. and don't re-use references, I couldn't find a way to remove the double The Kids / Scene stuff but I removed your double Disasterpiece. Redundancy in rap battles makes it boring throughout.

Also, I'd recommend not ever having a verse that's not divisible by 4 lines, but that's just me.

HU:
You better Knot Slip up when rapping against Charlie Scene
Get ready because we'll Hate, Beat, Kill, Repeat!
We're rap rock rap gods: coming in and rapping hard
Because All Hope is Gone when you're against superstars
Our flow so dark should fill your hearts with fear
When we're through with you you'll have way more than 3 tears
Because we'll be beating your asses until Nothing's Left
Since we're celebrating you, it's the Day of the Dead!
Your chances look pretty Gray so you better quit now
Here's a subliminal verse: nwod uoy kconk ll'ew

SK:
Look, you better flee the Scene before Slipknot gets mean
We're metal machines, you Linkin Park wannabes!
Dont step to us or you'll really be undead
When you all tumble over from a Bullet in your head
You got something to say go ahead and Spit it Out
Take another verse so we can show what hardcore is all about
You're about to be Fehnished, so try to take a bit more, punks
Your first verse sucked so go give it a redux
Hearts blacker than your music that calls back to the plague
You're just The Kids who need to be put in their place!

HU:
Its Lights Out for you and we wont Apologize
After we kick your ass and you get Left Behind
We rocked the stage since 2008, you've met your fate way too late
So escape and hide your faces in shame as you run away
When we're through with you, you'll be singing your Swan Song
Because you're just a bunch of Psycho socialists Gonewrong!
I think we'll end it here, learn your lesson or you're a dead man
Nobody messes with Hollywood Undead, man!

SK:
Everything Ends here your verse was a Disasterpiece
We'll rock you so hard and Wait while you Bleed
Coming in quick from '96, you see, i bet the kids
Who listen to your shit dont even know what music is!
You're a disease to the whole music industry
We're masterfully crafting your chatastrophe
Slip spit fire, boy, we really Came In Hot
You brats should know nobody dares to fuck with Slipknot


next is bigkidrant3's chairman vs cogsworth


Just to let you know, the beat for that is the "Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays" instrumental.

PS: Look up "Toontown Rewritten" and "Toontown Chairman" before Man-Chizzling it.

Lancer
07-22-2015, 04:15 PM
Just to let you know, the beat for that is the "Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays" instrumental.

PS: Look up "Toontown Rewritten" and "Toontown Chairman" before Man-Chizzling it.

I've played it and I know of the character, so no need.

BKTurner47
07-23-2015, 07:02 PM
Anyone on?

Moonjik
07-24-2015, 12:53 PM
Can you chisel my Freud vs Prof. X battle please?

http://www.erboh.com/forum/entry.php?1293-Rap-Battle-Professor-X-vs-Sigmund-Freud

Here's a ref guide -

X:
You're a literal motherfucker! A Jewish Oedipus Rex
Freud theorized that every male had an inherit sexual attraction to their mothers, which they repressed. Professor X calls him a 'literal motherfucker' because saying he literally wanted to screw his mom. Freud was Jewish and Oedipus Rex was a famous mythological figure who banged his maw.
Professor X will wreck this spec with a Doofenschmirtz Complex!
Professor X is saying that Freud sounds like Doctor Doofenschmirtz from Phinease and Ferb. A complex in psychology is a core of patterns and behaviours which may lead to a diagnosis.
Motherfucker! And no, that's not a Freudian slip
I didn't want to use motherfucker again in this battle, but a Freudian slip is an unintentional error revealing subconcious feelings.
I'll show this redshirt here a new view from my spaceship
Patrick Stewart, the actor who plays the currenct incarnation of Prof. X, is most famous for playing Jean Luc Picard on Star Trek. A redshirt is a stock character in Star Trek often used as cannon fodder and killed off for action. Prof. X is calling Freud a redshirt as he is insignificant and will be killed in this battle.
This must be your First Class, let me give you some schooling
X-Men: First Class is the fifth movie in the X-Men Series. Prof. X owns a school for mutants and will "school" Freud as well.
I can see into your mind, who do you think you're fooling?
Prof. X is telepathic and can read people's minds. He's saying he's better at it than Freud is.
Spitting straight adamantium like the rims on my chair
Adamantium is a powerful metal alloy which is used for many purposes in the Marvel universe (such as X-Men's claws).
You spit only cancerous cells like you're living on a prayer!
Freud developed cancer and died of it because of his habits.
Siggie's snorting coke, he's got the smokes and is sure to die Jung
Freud took cocaine and was an avid smoker. "Die Jung" is a pun referencing the psychiatrist Carl Jung - a close contemporary of Freud. Both men were influenced by each other.
But I'm causing more damage than that shit did to your lungs!
Prof. X is saying he's doing more to harm Freud with his rapping than the cancer did to Freud's lungs.
I battle planet sized monstrosities, bitch, I don't play around
Many X-Men villains are huge as fuck.
Training mutants to defend the earth all while sitting down!
Prof. X is boasting that he can save the world without even getting up (as he's in a wheelchair).

Freud:
You know I've alvays vondered zis about zee famed Professor X
A set-up line.
VHY DON'T YOU USE TELEKINESIS TO MOVE YOUR FUCKING LEGS?!
Freud wonders why Prof X. (who has telekinetic powers) doesn't use his abilities to control his legs and walk.
Tell your team of misfits I sense something wrong in your Cerebro
A Cerebro in the X-Men Universe is a device used by Prof. X to detect mutants. Cerebro is also Spanish and Portuguese for 'brain' so Freud is saying there is something wrong with Prof. X's brain.
My raps paralyse you so hard, you can call me Magneto
Freud's saying his raps are so crippling that he compares himself to Magneto, the guy who put Prof. X in a wheelchair in the first place.
It's not good for your health, Charlie, to stay cooped up in your mansion
Professor X lives in a massive mansion and is rarely on the front lines fighting with his mutants.
Instead you should organise a date viz a mutant Chris Hansen
Chris Hansen is famous for the NBC show 'To Catch a Predator' where he lures potential pedophiles and captures them. Prof. X once hit on his student Jean Grey so Freud is calling him a pedophile.
Bitch I created a whole field of science to understand zee human mind
A simple boast. Freud created the field of psychoanalysis which greatly boosted psychology and psychiatry in the academic and scientific worlds - once considered pseudosciences.
You set up your school to teach stroppy ass teenagers how to fly!
Freud is saying his achievements are better than Prof. X's whose mutant school teaches mutants how to use their powers.
Branding everything viz an 'X' as zough you own zat letter
The X-Men were named after Professor X.
And zis whole superhero schtick? Zee Incredibles did it better
Freud is dissing Prof. X by saying the Incredibles were better superheros than the X-Men.
In a few years nerds vill move on, vhereas my vork is timeless
Freud is saying that soon nerds will move on to another franchise whereas his work shall stand the test of time.
Zis vould be your last stand, if you veren't already spineless
Another joke on Prof. X being in a wheelchair. He's spineless because he's a coward and he can't stand.

X:
Your work timeless? After your death it was all rebuked!
A lot of Freud's theories were disproven and laughed at after he died. Nowadays almost everything he said is considered untrue and he is no longer as respected as he once was.
And me spineless? You ran from Hitler, you cowardly Jew
Freud ran away to England to escape the Nazis.
You look like a fat George Carlin! I'll get Logan to finger your anus!
Freud looks like the comedian George Carlin. Logan is the name of Wolverine and Prof. X is threatening Freud by saying Logan will finger his anus with his adamantium claws.
Your theories aren't just moronic - they're downright heinous!
A simple diss.
Even Dr Phil could do a better job than this kraut
Prof. X is saying that even the TV psychologist Dr Phil could do better than Freud. A kraut is an ethnic slur for a German.
Imma diagnose you with get-the-fuck-out!
Simple enough.

Freud:
Screw you, you big bald cunt! Your raps skills are shoddy
A reference to Hitler. I kinda imagined their voices being similar when I wrote this.
I'll kick your chair down zee stairs zen laugh at your mangled body!
Freud is saying that he'll kick Prof. X's wheelchair down the stairs and laugh.
You're creepier zan Nightcrawler, more short-sighted zan Cyclops
Nightcrawler is an X-Men who is pretty creepy thanks to his indigo skin and staying in the shadows. Cyclops is another X-Man who can control energy beams with his eyes.
My rhymes bring so much pain you'll crave morphine drops
Morphine is a painkilling drug. Freud got addicted to morphine while he was in the hospital for his cancer.
Now call me zee ICP, but I need to mention zis circlejerk
The Insane Clown Posse is a cringey hip-hop duo that dress up like clowns and have an annoying fanbase called Juggaloes -
Ask your arch nemesis - HOW DO FUCKING MAGNETS VORK?!
'Fucking magnets, how do they work?' is an infamous line from the ICP's song 'Miracles'. Magneto, Prof. X's former friend and now supervillain controls magnetism.

Lancer
07-26-2015, 07:06 PM
Bigkidrant3's Chairman vs Cogsworth
next is KiTN's Sigmund Freud vs Charles Xavier


I think this is a very interesting matchup. I question the use of a character that technically doesn't exist canonically, but not a huge deal. I just fixed syllables largely and tidied this up, most of it was pretty good.

The Chairman:
I’m the Chairman of the Board, and this battle won’t be pretty!
I’ll Move and Shake up this butler with me and my whole committee!
Because you're Cogs-worth nothing, you antique piece of shit
Something sold at a flea market for fairy tale creations!
My presence terrifies Toons living all throughout the nation,
but you're basically unknown if not for Disney-fication.
'Cuz when you’re old and decayed, all the townspeople will move on!
Since you’ll never find a girl to turn your cogs Gast-on!

Cogsworth:
If I'd a penny for every Cog that I’ve seen in your game,
I’d be richer than the CFO, Barons to shame!
This rusty piece of metal's just an old hunk of fuck
activated just from screw-ups of old Scrooge McDuck!
You’re all work and no play, because from fun you explode!
You’re not the Big-Wig of my house, you’re just an ugly bridge troll!
Don’t mean to get your Gyro Gears-loose, but I’m Toon much for you!
Beating you's a piece of Wedding Cake, bro, you're literally screwed

The Chairman:
Say that one more time, and I’ll take your whiskers out,
evict you and restrain you from your little House of Mouse.
I'm a Beast of the apocalypse come to earth as the prophet!
So admit your failure, Cogsworth and come out of the closet!

Cogsworth:
Out of the closet? Man, fuck this! I quit!

Announcer:
Uh... Anyone out there who can finish this battle? Anyone... anyone?

Lumiere:
I can.
You following me, businessman? ‘Cuz this about to get furious!
You’re gonna be my guest 'til your circuits go delirious!
I'll burn you hotter than the fire that I hold in my fists!
Not even spooky scary Skelecogs could dare to outrap this!
trying to take Toontown and you claim to own a throne?
You’re not worthy of my presence! Put Luke Ross on the phone!
I’ll hang up on you, swish and swash you like a lyrical invader!
I’m the bot exterminator to this failed Terminator

WHO WON?
WHOS NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!!!

EPIC!
*Big Wig flies across the screen*
RAP BATTLES OF BIGKIDRANT3!!!!!

BKTurner47
07-26-2015, 08:43 PM
Damn, that was good.

Now, Mr. Cipher, can you review my next battle? (I'm considering you've met some of them before).

NORMAL VIEWERS BEWARE: THE BATTLE CONTAINS EXTREME GRAVITY FALLS SPOILERS! Well, enjoy! :evilbat:

BEAT: No Limit by Allrounda

EEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF BIGKIDRANT3!!!! STANFORD PINES AND FIDDLEFORD MCGUCKET.... VERSUS.... ADOLF HITLER AND JOSEPH GOEBBELS! (Yes, I went there.)


Hitler/Goebbels: I AM ADOLF HITLER! Commander of the Third Reich!
Little known fact, I’m also quite dope on this mic!
You’re just a six-fingered nerd wearing space gear and a cape,
but a hobo’s beard to covered up your scared-ass face!
Yo, it’s me, Goebbels, and I’m beating you two skanks!
Stanford, you have a bunker? I’ll make you hide there like Anne Frank!
You will Nazi this one coming, and you’re all going to Heil!
now sit back and relax as you watch the Nazi Party prevail!

Stanford/McGucket: These two little vermins tried to step up into my lab,
now what is that supposed to mean? Assdolf just needs to take a crap!
We’re observing gnomes, shapeshifters and more, and we did it all in patience
unlike Jew who put millions of innocent people in camps of concentration
Now you there, Broseph, you burnt down Jewish books all for the sake of your country?
We’ll dis up a McStorm over your fascist Nazi Germany!
Go freeze yourself in Carbonite again or go flop the mic Han Solo!
You caused a world war, but took your own world, but you know what they say? YOLO!

Hitler/Goebbels: Ooh, how cute! A Jewish kid and a cowboy stepping up to the chancellor!
We’ll shove these raps up your portal-hole! Bitch, just call us Bill Cipher!
McGucket caused rampages through town because his wife left him?
You should have turned to another topic like a Lazy Susan!
Go back to playing the banjo in that old church no one uses.
So quit your Stalin on the mic! We’ll cut through you like the Jewish!
We’ll beat you ‘till your eyeless, so don’t jack up on us now!
You better heil Hitler or else we’ll turn your town upside down!

Stanford/McGucket: Heil Hitler? No thanks, unlike you, America’s on democracy!
So no need to be direct with your incoming foreign policies.
Yeah, we built a portal together, it’s the least we could do!
While you just cause a worldwide epidemic because you wanted to!
Call us the United Allies, because we’re ending your crisis!
But you compared to us? It won’t help you in the slightest!
We’ll shapeshift around you, and then put you to bust!
At your rate in Nazi Germany, there’s no one you can trust!

Announcer: WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC! marching RAP BATTLES OF BIGKIDRANT3!!!!!

IronedSandwich
01-19-2016, 12:36 PM
to be honest some of the true ERB could benefit from this
EDIT: never mind.

BKTurner47
01-19-2016, 08:39 PM
to be honest some of the true ERB could benefit from this

Did you just necro-bump a chisel forum?

IronedSandwich
01-21-2016, 04:15 PM
I don't know.