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I Da Cash Man
04-04-2012, 09:26 PM
A.K.A. The Cursed ERBoH.

The Beat - This one is all bad. I mean all bad. The beat has no specific tone, which is the same problem that arose in Gandalf vs. Dumbledore. No sense of rising and falling, almost like the speed was designed by a kid with ADD. Not ADHD, ADD. Most of the instruments are either high-pitched, too electric, have notes that last out too long, or a combo of the 3. On the other hand, it does have an electric guitar. And my rule goes that the electric guitar heals all. Not completely, but partially. 2/10 (Weighted for 25%)

The Announcer - One of Peter's early announcers. Kind of mid-range. He doesn't have much lung capacity in this sound clip, that's for sure, but he also sounds like he's got a lot of enthusiasm. It's a shame he didn't think of doing a WWE/WCW style intro. And no good gag at the end. Peter had not gotten the "EPIC" in yet. 1/10 (Weighted for 10%)

The Costumes - Kim Jong-Il I've talked about before most of the time rappers in ERB look like their counterparts but 5-15 years younger. Well, in the case of Kim Jong-Il, he doesn't look 5 years, not 15 years, not 25 years, but 50 years younger! That is...pretty bad. His hair is also really bad, some sort of...thing. It's just a thing. Sitting there. The glasses are not his style, and really the ONLY thing they got right was that he was short. 1/10 (Weighted for 3.33%)

The Costumes - Hulk Hogan - Well...it may have been intentional for humor. His muscles are obvious WAY too big, hell he looks like he has more muscle than anything else. The muscles themselves look way too fake, I mean, I know what Peter meant when he talked about the poor budget. Hogan already looked like a walrus, but this is taking it really far. His facial complexion is all wrong and really he looks like a god damn parody of Hulk Hogan. But they at least got his clothes pretty much correct. Not that hard to do. I would like to believe this actually is a god damn parody of Hulk Hogan, but with how good the costumes have been lately, I can't give it that much credit. 2/10 (Weighted for 3.33%)

The Costumes - Randy Savage - Now that's a little better. His wardrobe is perfect, very much Macho Man style, even if it's not exactly something he might have wore. Beard is pretty much perfect, hair is too curly but I'll let it slide. I like curly hair. Maybe that's cuz me and my Dad have curly hair...but whatever. The Sunglasses aren't exactly correct, but they're still in Savage-Style. The one biggest problem: where is my spray tan?!?! WHERE IS MAH SPRAH TAN?!?! 7/10 (Weighted for 3.33%)

Imitations - Well...to be quite honest. I've never heard Kim Jong-Il talk. So I think I'll let that pass and weigh the imitations on The Mega Powers. I would like to think that's nowhere near Kim Jong-Il, but who knows anymore? As for Hogan...UGH. Yeah, no, Peter, next time, check before you think you can imitate the most important Pro Wrestler in history. 'Cuz dat was puuurty bad. 3/10 (Weighted for 5%) As for Macho Man...it's still not great. He's much better than the Hogan impression, it's about the same voice. But none of the enthusiasm, which means Lloyd was really struggling to get anything near an impression and the editing still had to take care of some stuff. Sometimes it sounds just like it's coming out of a machine. 5/10 (Weighted for 5%)

First Round - Kim Jong-Il - Not bad, but not very good either. It felt like if Kim Jong-Il actually came in and tried to rap improv. on Hogan. If that would be the case, he actually did pretty good. Still, not any better than any other rapper on the street could rap against Hulk Hogan. No good stabs or anythin'. But a good tempo and a very present sense of attempt save this round for atrocity. And of course, he debuted the legendary (for what reason I cannot comprehend) line "You want beef? Eat this Korean BBQ!" 5/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Second Round - Terry Bollea - Before I talk about this. What was with the background? Was Peter just looking through the webs and finding random pictures or something? Same with Il. Anyways, about the lyrics....wait, wut lyrics? Dude, Hogan was reaching. Bad. There was absolutely nothing to this rap. It's worse than the material Gandalf through out in his last verse. "YOU LOOK LIKE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG'S MOTHER!...A RICE-A-RONI JABRONI! (no, that doesn't translate to Broni) IMMONAH BOUNCE YOU LIKE A CHECK FOR MY ALIMONY!" Need I say more? It gets more than a zero for the fact it's just so stupidly bad it's funny. 2/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Third Round - The Man who's got a License to Il - Now that was good. Short and sweet. The only three really good stabs that Jong could probably muster and all in one round. Smart thinkin'. And then a little bit of a lacker on the last, but overall really good. 8/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Fourth Round - Randall Mario Poffo - Ain't dat a real name? Anyways. His lyrics. 100% intimidating, 0% executing. Somewhat promising. Good tempo. And a well placed finish. 6/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Final Results:
The Mega Powers: 10/20 (Earns extra bonus points for Hogan surviving a Rocket Launcher to the bare chest.)
Kim Jong Il: 13/20

Overall Score: 39.57/100

BBC7
04-04-2012, 09:29 PM
Nice review. I think it's better than ERB 4 but, not everyone shares the same opinion.

I Da Cash Man
04-04-2012, 09:39 PM
Nice review. I think it's better than ERB 4 but, not everyone shares the same opinion.

At first I thought it was better than ERB 4. Then I did the review...

Honestly, these things happen to me all the time. Hitler vs. Vader 1 is my favorite, but I ended up giving it 66.25%. And then Columbus vs. Kirk is the one I think is the funniest, but I ended up giving it 69%. Point is, I'd still rather listen to this than #4.

...Now my hypocrisy is revealed. DUN DUN DUUUUN.

FAI (For Anyone's Info) I am honest during my reviews. Just not at all while I'm listening to the battles.

Moonjik
04-05-2012, 06:52 AM
I agree with everything you say, even the part about number four. It's just something about number four I can't stand...

BBC7
04-05-2012, 06:56 AM
I agree with everything you say, even the part about number four. It's just something about number four I can't stand...

1. Shitty ass beat that sounds like it came from a Hannah Montana song.
2. Sarah Palin sounds like a little girl raging because she didn't get anything for Christmas
3. Lady Gaga had shitty ass disses
4. Lady Gaga sounded weird
5. Sarah Palin kept on repeating the same types of jokes

That's 5 reasons.

Moonjik
04-05-2012, 06:57 AM
I agree with everything you say, even the part about number four. It's just something about number four I can't stand...

1. Shitty ass beat that sounds like it came from a Hannah Montana song.
2. Sarah Palin sounds like a little girl raging because she didn't get anything for Christmas
3. Lady Gaga had shitty ass disses
4. Lady Gaga sounded weird
5. Sarah Palin kept on repeating the same types of jokes

That's 5 reasons.

Also the feel of the battle...

Froggy
04-05-2012, 07:44 AM
I thought this battle was bad when i first saw it, but now it's growing on me. I like your reviews though! Very fun to read! :) And could you do a review on Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking?

I Da Cash Man
04-05-2012, 05:52 PM
I thought this battle was bad when i first saw it, but now it's growing on me. I like your reviews though! Very fun to read! :) And could you do a review on Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking?

Thnakya very much. Einstein vs. Hawking is on the way.



[quote="God(dess) of Bronies":3m8h2ht6]I agree with everything you say, even the part about number four. It's just something about number four I can't stand...

1. Shitty ass beat that sounds like it came from a Hannah Montana song.
2. Sarah Palin sounds like a little girl raging because she didn't get anything for Christmas
3. Lady Gaga had shitty ass disses
4. Lady Gaga sounded weird
5. Sarah Palin kept on repeating the same types of jokes

That's 5 reasons.

Also the feel of the battle...[/quote:3m8h2ht6]

The tone is definitely a hindrance. Guys are turned off because it's unrealistically girly, and girls are turned off because it's unrealistically girly.

Prince
04-05-2012, 06:26 PM
nice review mane

I Da Cash Man
04-05-2012, 06:57 PM
nice review mane

Thanks...mane!

BBC7
04-05-2012, 07:23 PM
nice review mane

Thanks...mane!

Are you close to finishing the MB vs WB one?

I Da Cash Man
04-05-2012, 07:29 PM
nice review mane

Thanks...mane!

Are you close to finishing the MB vs WB one?

It's up.