View Full Version : Pseudonymphs Battle Royale 1.5

02-03-2017, 12:55 PM
OK, so. Yackz seems to be currently unable to start his group BR. Schedules are a bitch. Well, don't worry. He'll start his thing when he's able too, whenever that comes. In the meantime, I'll take his mantle.

Sure, it's gonna be different from how he writes things - I never considered myself to be a stellar writer, you know. But, you can only get better by writing, and what's the better place to start than within a group (or the group, should I say?) of fellow writers, huh?

Three characters (any characters from established fiction) per person. Have them be from 3 different mediums, if you could. Thanks!

The list:
A. Turtle
1.Cable (Marvel)
2.Jack (Resident Evil 7)
3.Hades (Disney)
B. Brad
4.Starlord (Guardians of The Galaxy)
5.King Hippo (Punch Out!)
6.Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
C. Glike
7.Puar (Dragon Ball)
8.Bokkun (Sonic X)
9.Angel Bunny (My Little Pony)
D. Moon
10.V (V for Vendetta)
11.Cory Baxter (Cory in the House)
12.Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
E. Ranger
13. Needles Kane (Twisted Metal)
14. The Meta (Red v Blue)
15. Dick Dastardly (Wacky Races)


15.Cory Baxter killed by Jack Baker via metal pole to abdomen.

02-03-2017, 01:40 PM
Cable (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY3WxtAgIlg) (Comics) - I can help with the research for this guy.

Jack AKA "Daddy" from RE7 (I can help with the research on this one as well. If you don't want RE7 spoiled for you, I'll go with Kel'Thuzad from the Warcraft universe

Hades from Hercules (Disney)

02-03-2017, 03:04 PM

Starlord (Guardians of the Galaxy) [Movie]

King Hippo (Punch Out!!!) [Video Game]

Hermoine Granger (Harry Potter) [Books]

02-03-2017, 07:03 PM
Thanks for doing something. :3 This'll be a good read whIle I try to get used to my schedule. I'll sign up for this. c:

Puar (Dragon Ball)
Bokkun (Sonic X)
Angel Bunny (My Little Pony)

Rather than going for the strong overpowered characters I'm gonna go for the cute little fluffy ones. As long as they have just as much a shot to win as all the others I think they'd be more fun to write for and not have to worry about power scaling.

...Plus I'm just a sucker for cute things. x3

02-03-2017, 07:39 PM
Ooh this'll be great. I'll sign up with -

V (V for Vendetta)
Cory Baxter (Cory in the House)
Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!)

02-04-2017, 04:06 AM
Needles Kane + Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal)
The Meta (Red vs Blue)
Dick Dastardly + The Mean Machine (Wacky Races)

02-08-2017, 08:35 AM
I'm still trying to do research on the characters, trying to nail their personality (Some aid would be nice. Ranger, can I count on your help?), so in the meantime, have this little tidbit, get to know the two announcers of this one.


"Are you sure ve should be doing zis? Zis does not seem richt."

"'Death is real in Battle Royales' evaluates to false. Proof: You. Therefore, 'Organizing Battle Royales is immoral' evaluates to false."

"I don't mean zat. I mean, Cry vould not like zis."

"Solution: Do not tell Cryonic."

"Ehh, sure... vhy nicht...Starten Sie ze introduction."

"Affirmative. Forming introduction...complete."


"Welcome to Pseudonymphs Battle Royale, humans. Number of contestants ready to fight to death evaluates to 15. The list of announcers evaluates to: 'CRINN'..."

"Und Roland ze Alfa Male! Und ze fighters vill duke it out in Kholod ruins! Wir have everyzing, from a cute klein bunny to a killer clown in a murder maschine."

The contestants appeared in the ruined town, one after another. First, was an obese dude in boxer gloves and with a crown adorning his head. He roared in a way reminiscent of a Hippopotamus.

"Name: King Hippo. Best BR performance: 7th"

"Ja, ja, zis dude might have lost in Log's VGBR, but der König of ze Hippo Islands vill not give up just because of zat. Er ist back to punch out every single mutterficker in zis arena!"

In a relatively intact house, white from the snow covering it, was a kid.

"Speaking of Battle Royale veterans, it looks like Cory ist in ze Haus! Vhen he vas erst in a BR, he vas introduced as 'last but not least'."

"LOL-meter indicates high humour in this statement. Reason: Cory Baxter really was last. Assumption 'rangernumberx dislikes puns' needs to be revised."

In a middle of a field, a gothic raygun concept car appeared, and inside, was sitting a guy in a blue trenchcoat, twirling his mustache.

"Driver name: Dick Dastardly. Car name: Mean Machine. Expert at cheating in races."

"But, let's be honest. His Auto ist nicht as gut as an Alfa Romeo. He'd be able to vin if he had a Giulia Sprint. Or if he actually raced."

A ripped man with a bionic arm soon joined the fray, telekinetically freeing himself from a collapsed building.

"Who ze fuck is zat?"

"It's fucking Cable."

A small robot digged himself out of snow, and adjusted his belt with an N on it.

"That is the Messenger Robo, Bokkun."

"Ja, ja, he's representing Eggman Empire in zis fight, und promised us he'd take zis. Let's see if he delivers."

A shapeshifting blue and yellow fella found himself under a tree.

"Zat's Puar, Yamcha's lifelang companion und a veird Katze-rabbit hybrid."


A man in a Guy Fawkes mask stood on a nearby hill, and looked at the snow.

"My level of proficience at alliteration is low, so here's a list of words beginning with V: 'very', 'vortex', 'valiant'..."

"V vill nicht go avay vizout vinning! See, ich nailed it."

A man in a wicked power armor growled as he turned his active camouflage off, and proceeded to look around the house he was placed in.

"Ein former Freelancer, vho used to be knovn as Agent Maine; Ze Meta is ze perfect example of vhy you should not trust AIs...No offence, CRINN."

"None taken. XKCD reference in progress...'I'm So Meta Even This Acronym'. Done"

A girl with a wand unlocked the house she was locked in with an appropiate spell.

"Name: Hermione Granger. Spell used right now: Unlocking Charm, incantation 'Alohomora'"

"Ja, Ja. She might seem like just ein bookvorm, but ze spells she knovs result in some real Granger danger."

A man with blue flames on his head has just melted some snow around him.

"Und zis is Hades. Ze myssical Gott of Ze Underwelt, Disney Edition"

"Don't get on his bad side. My analysis indicates he has got a fiery temper."

One of the cameras pointed at a seemingly empty, snowy field. Very white.

"Name: Angel Bunny. Camouflage efficiency: 78%. This contestant has a resemblance to a joke: 'Wenn ist das Nun-...'"

"Zis joke vill kill all ze Deutsche audience. Don't finish it."

A space man in a sci-fi space helmet covering his face entirely stood by a nearby lake.

"Zis is Star-Lord, ze leader of ze Guardians of Ze Galaxy."

"Detected an attempt at psychic communication with a space ship girlfriend. As per rules of Battle Royale, outside help is not allowed. Sorry."

Older man with glasses accidentally slipped on an ice patch, and fell on a metal pole, impaling himself. He promptly stood up, pulled the pole out of his body, and shrugged it off.

"Level of Jack Baker's regenerative ability is very high. Chance of winning this: higher than average"

"Ja, ja, his Strengss is alzo on a vhole different level. Er ist someone you don't vant to fick viss"

A man in a long sleeveless white coat was counting his cards.

"OK, zat is Seto Kaiba, almost ze greatest Duel Monsters player. Almost."

"Do not let the 'almost' fool you. He will still deck you, then beat you down with his inventory."

In the background an engine roar could be heard. It was coming from a ice-truck turned into a murder machine. Inside was a shirtless clown with a flaming hair.

"Last, but not least, there is Needles Kane."

"Do you zing zat zis "last but not least" phrase vill be a foreshadoving again?"

"Answer unknown."

"OK. It looks as if alles combatants are set. In drei, zwei, eins, FIGHT!"

02-08-2017, 08:51 AM
JA JA JA, perfect choice with the announcers <3

I'm so hyped for this

EDIT: Since it's a writer's group, I think more analysis is in order.

I really like the two announcers, it helps you get a very objective standpoint (CRINN) and also humour (Roland) from the announcers, I wonder how much they'll actually be a part of each chapter.

Usually the introductions for these characters are boring, but the two announcers made it better. I would also like a Ranger analysis, but I can help with mine:

1. Jack - Redneck daddy possessed by a virus, keeps hearing the voice of Evie (the name of the virus) in his head, which tells him to wreak havoc and fuck shit up. In a glimpse from the past, we see he's a nice guy, and the only thing turning him evil is Evie, the voice in his head. Also, he's really cruel and likes to fuck with his victims a bit, and he sure likes to prove he's immortal (at one point shooting himself in the head just to prove he can regen it, while saying "You're about to see something wonderful, boy"

2. Hades - All powerful god of the underworld, great at scheming, great at making fun of people. Just youtube "Hades best moments" and you'll get a good grip of things.

3. Cable - Cable is a tougher character to nail down. He's stoic, really smart, quite humorous, and has a saviour-complex. He always tries to save everyone, but is always really conscious about his own enormous penis. Think Batman + Wolverine

02-08-2017, 11:26 AM
Oh, poo, I completely missed this. That's what I get for being loaded with a bunch of work. Oh well. Either way, I'm excited to see how this turns out! No need to shove me in at the last second, even if the fight hasn't technically started yet.

The announcers are definitely going to be hilarious. Don't let Cryonic know what they're up to!

02-08-2017, 06:16 PM
Let's go Puar!!!! oh and Bokkun and Angel too I guess.

I'm hyped!!

02-08-2017, 09:16 PM
That was awesome!

02-09-2017, 03:20 PM
Let's go Cory!

02-17-2017, 11:30 AM

Hermione had to quit the house she was in. It was on brink of collapsing, and she had to know the arena more, for apparition purposes.

"Repello Muggletum," she mumbled to herself, while waving her wand. Nothing happened.

"Go tell her Roland. My level of proficiency at - communicating with humans - is - low"

"Ja, ja, ja, ich understand." Roland replied and then started talking to Hermione. "Hallo, Fraulein!"

"Who is it?"

"Ich bin just one of ze announcers. You see, every fighter but du ist ein muggle."

"Oh, really?"

"Ja, ja. Und ve have zought zat having every opponent of yours remembering urgent stuff vhenever zey get close to you, und zen turning avay, vould be boring for ze audience. So wir have covered ze entire arena vith Anti Repello Muggletum Charm. I zink you need to knov zat."

"Well then." Hermione then waved her wand differently. "Cave Inimicum." She casted a spell that should warn her of any incoming enemies.


Jack picked up the metal pole he accidentally impaled himself with earlier. Should make for a nice weapon for now. He then slowly walked, looking for prey.
Suddenly, he heard something. A bunch of... laughs? Huh. Doesn't matter. He followed the sound to one of the near houses, and went silently through the broken window.


Hades wandered in the direction of the village, when he saw something in the sky, closing, and closing...It turned out to be Bokkun, who just delivered the dopest flying kick I've ever described to Hades' face.
Hades, though disfigured for a moment, shrugged it off. This machine, it's smaller than a wheel, and can fly, and can deal some damage. Hades was impressed. Maybe he could use some help from this thing.

"Hey, I'd think we should work together for this o-" said Hades, but was interrupted.

"Nope, my loyalty only lies within Eggman Empire!" Bokkun then threw a TV bomb into Hades' face

"YOU INSOLENT TRA-" Hades went red for a moment, but regained yourself, and transformed Bokkun into a worm

"What have you done?"

Hades then grabbed Bokkun, and squeezed him slightly.

"Look, I really respect your loyalty. Your allegiances. Tell me, you want to win this so bad for this Empire, right?"

"Yeah, now put me down and change me back right in this instant!"

"Sigh...Do you know what is the opposite of winning? Being dead last." Hades squeezed worm-Bokkun a little harder. "And you will be dead last if you make me kill you, you understand me?"

Bokkun was silent.

"Which is why you'll work for me. You will not dissapoint your empire or whatever completely, and I'll get a flying scout minion. Seems like a fair trade to me. What do you say to that, lil' worm-... lil' machine?"

Bokkun nodded.

"Excellent." Hades then turned Bokkun back into a robot. "That'll be the greatest cooperation of this game. Try not to betray me. After all, I am the boss of your afterlife, you know?" And he let him fly away.


In the meantime, King Hippo was roaring trying to assert his dominance, suddenly, he encountered Puar. They locked eyes on each other, ready to fight, when suddenly King Hippo dropped his guard.

He made a roar that roughly translated to "Oooh, aren't you a cute little bugger?"

Puar seemed to have understood him somehow and cautiously came a bit closer.

King Hippo pet the cat-rabbit thing, and made another roar.

Puar nodded, and flew behind the King as they looked for other opponents.


"Go left!" "Go right!" "Go inside that house over there!" "You hear those laughs?" "We need more AIs here, Maine!"

The Meta was undecided on what to do. After some long consideration, he decided to go out and look for the opponents.

He ignored the laughs. He ignored what seemed like it was flying high in the air. His AIs deemed those not to be important enough. The tire tracks on the other hand.

"You need a sick ride!" "It seems it's a large vehicle. You can take advantage of its lack of manouverability." "Can we go fight already?" "Yeah, and we'll steal their car!" "Hey, you hear that?" "Sounds like an engine roar!"

A machine gun fire was opened on the Meta. He ducked behind the cover and saw an ice cream truck adorned with weapons.

The Meta took out his signature weapon, the Brute shot.

"Ich liebe zis veapon!"

"I have trouble classifying it. Is it a - bladed weapon - or a - grenade launcher?"

"Ist both."

"Error 1684: Melee weapon cannot be also a ranged weapon."

The grenades were fired, but the Sweet Tooth turned out to be more agile than it seemed and Needles dodged the direct hits.

"Time to get serious, huh?" Needles said to himself, and the rocket launchers were armed on Needles' truck.


"Why did I sign up for this? I knew it'd be a fight to the death, and I knew I'd be fighting seasoned killers, but why
is it so cold?" Cory lamented, while the invisible studio audience erupted into laughter. "It's almost not worth the money." And here comes another laugh.

Cory would not stand the cold, and so he decided to find something warm. He got the knife that was laying around, a spool of thread, a bent needle he found, and then he took all the fabric he could find, and got to work.

After a tailoring montage, the studio audience laughed again, as they saw Cory dressed in a sloppily put together suit looking like a quilt with pillows sewn to it, and random grandma clothes holding it all together.

"Aww, bummer! There's no way Beyonce will love me when I look like this!" Another laugh. "If only my daddy could help me..."

"Daddy's right behind you."

Cory, startled, turned around, saw Jack and immediately jumped back.

"W-W-Who are you?"

"Handsome, am I not?" Another set of laughs happened. Cory noticed the bloody pole Jack was holding in one hand.

"Back off," said Cory "I have a knife, and I'm n-n-not afraid to use it!"

"Use it then. Go ahead, I dare you."

Cory, restricted by his current attire, still made a swing that managed to make a cut on Jack's body.

"You call that wimpy slash 'using a knife?' Egh, let me show you how its done."

Jack Baker wrestled the knife away from Cory. Cory yelled in pain; his wrist got broken by Jack's strength.

"You have to go for the jugular." Jack said, and plunged the knife into his own neck, twisted the blade and pulled it out. The blood flowing out of it sprayed Cory. "See?"

"Uhhh....You're not d-d-dead yet." Another laugh.

"I have some tricks in my sleeve," by this point, the wounds have regenerated, "Isn't that just wonderful?"

Another laugh. "These laughs are annoying. Let's get to business."

Jack struck the pole into the ground, impaling the floor and the concrete beneath it. Cory, sensing it's not good, began to run, but Jack caught up to him, grabbed him by the neck, and slammed him into the pole, impaling Cory's abdomen. Cory was still alive and attempted to pull the pole out of the floor, but it was stuck too deep for him to do anything.

Jack walked away.

"Scheisse! Zat is ze strengss of ein vrestler! Nein, nein, zat is ze strengss of ein polar bear! But, should not Jack finish him off?"

"Unlikely. Reason: Jack Baker's sadistic nature. More likely outcome: Cory Baxter will be left to die."

"Vhat a bastard!"



Who knew chasing a bunny would be so difficult? Bunnies are like pigeons, Dick Dastardly reasoned, except they don't fly, so they should be easier to catch, right? Well, not if the bunny can easily blend into the snow, as he discovered.

The Mean Machine was speeding through the snow field, chasing Angel Bunny.

Suddenly, Angel Bunny dashed to the left. Small animals can change direction quite well. Better than cars in comparison. Dick began turning his car around, and could maybe make it, you know?

That is, if you don't consider Angel Bunny change the direction right in front of the frozen lake. The moment Mean Machine's wheels touched the ice, the car went into an uncontrollable slide.

"Vell, zat ist nicht vorking out, is it, Dick?"

"Don't you worry, Roland. My car is not an Alfa, she's rocket powered you know."

Dick pointed the engines to the direction of travel, and set the thrust level to the max. The car was now slowing down quite considerably.

"Idea rating: 2/10. Reason: Wheels of the Mean Machine do not transmit the power of the engine. Therefore, acceleration of the car is not affected by lack of traction. It does not offset the disadvantage resulting from rocket exhaust increasing the temp-"

CRINNs explanation of Dick Dastardly's decision was interrupted by the engine's exhaust melting the ice underneath the Mean Machine, and the said Machine falling into the water.

"Further explanation not needed. Estimated time of Dick Dastardly's toonforce-assisted return: Next chapter"

Angel Bunny had some room to breathe now. And he was going to utilize the time splendidly.


V was leaping across the rooftops, somehow undetected. He saw his first target. He pulled out one of his throwing daggers and came closer to get proper aim. She's walking down one of the paths...
That's weird. She's alerted to something. As if she knew somethi-

"EXPELLIARMUS!" The target shouted. A flash of light flew towards V and hit him, throwing him back, and throwing the dagger out of his arm.

V quickly got up, drew another dagger and threw it.

"PROTEGO!" The dagger bounced off a force field of some sort.

"ACCIO THROWING DAGGER!" The dagger thrown at Hermione threw towards the hand not holding the wand.

V jumped off the roof and ran up to Hermione, and kicker her in the face. Hermiony apparated to behind V as soon as she could. She could not bring herself to just kill the guy...

"STUPEFY!" A flash of blue light hit V and rendered him unconscious. Then she ran. Maybe someone else will get to the masked guy.


"You want to fight me? Really? Please, where's your deck?"

"Uh? A deck?" Starlord replied to Seto

"No deck then... trash."

"Well, I can deck you." Star-Lord then ran up to Seto to punch him in the face, but the punch was blocked by a dragon.

"Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Rare card. You seem rather angry. Is it because you can't accept you're trash?"

Star-Lord pulled out his Element Gun and shot the Dragon, sending it in the air. He was about to coat Seto in granite, but it had no effect on him, and Star-lord was rendered still for a moment.

"Negate Attack. You know. A lot of cards I had tend to only work on monsters. On worthless minions people might try to fight me with. I, um, pulled some strings to make those cards be more versatile."

The dragon came back and smashed into Star-Lord. Starlord tanked that.

"'Pulled some strings.' Question for you, Roland. How does puppeteering make cards more versatile? My files on the contestants indicate no such ability in Seto Kaiba."

"Uh, ich weiss nicht (//'I don't know'), CRINN."

"Incidentally, I did not know a Siemens technician salary could afford an Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione, Roland. I need to update my knowledge database. Nice car. Not as good as a Cossack, but still."

"Uh, danke schoen, CRINN."


Cable was walking around, trying to get a telepathic scan of every contestant in the arena.

"Someone's in trouble already. Excellent."

He followed the distressed thoughts to a house across the arena and barged inside. What he saw inside was the
work of a cunning and cruel combatant. A kid was lying on a floor, with a pole fixing him to said floor.

He telekinetically pulled Cory (together with the pole) out of the ground to attend to the wound, and began
unwrapping the winter suit Cory was wearing.

"What a clever bastard," Cable said to himself, "wrapping the poor boy in all that stuff to make it harder to get to
the wound." The studio audience laughed again. They really will laugh at anything.

Cable then began repeating to Cory, "Everything will be fine. You'll be okay." One layer of the suit after another
was removed from the abdomen area. Finally, Cable had clear access to the wound. He checked the pulse to see
how much time he had left, but the pulse was non-existent. The warmth was already escaping from Cory's body.

"Vell, I guess zat marks ze death of ein Komödiant, ja?"

"Yes. Cory Baxter is officially dead."


All that was left for Cable to do now, was to avenge Cory. Following the snow footprints leaving the house might
be a good idea.

02-17-2017, 11:37 AM
Great first chapter


02-17-2017, 11:42 AM
Great first chapter


He's in a better place now.

02-17-2017, 11:43 AM
I'm really enjoying this so far. You have a really consistent easy-to-follow writing style and its very pleasing to read.

Also Bokkun just kicked and bombed the ruler of the Underworld and lived to tell the tale. He's gonna be drowning in robotic woman. Good on ya, bud.

02-17-2017, 12:01 PM
Cory Baxter: Doomed to always die first in BRs.

02-17-2017, 03:20 PM
"Well, I can deck you". That sounded so like something the real Star-lord would say. Holy shit you are good at portraying characters