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View Full Version : Big Ben Franklin vs. Billy Mays - Review



I Da Cash Man
04-14-2012, 11:32 AM
FLIGHT.

The Beat - You know, let me ask you guys a question. Ben Franklin. Inventor and politician. Billy Mays. Commercial spokesperson. Does this beat have to deal with either of these two? In fact, if you want my honest opinion, this sounds more like something themed for The Jungle. Like a Tarzan vs. John Carter of Mars match. In that respect this beat kinda fails. The battle is mostly drum-based, whereas in most instrumentals the drums are an underlying aspect. Due to this the beat is able to be punctual and loud yet somewhat subtle at the same time. Sure subtly isn't a norm in ERB, but it's very different and in that sense refreshing. Speaking of subtlety, the beat is very singularly toned. I wouldn't say flat because that might come out wrong. There's no defining moments where rounds are supposed to begin and end, unless you really stretch the imagination which I guess is what N.P. did. This is also one of the more repetitive beats in the ERB line-up and doesn't have enough here to save it. It seems as if they sacrificed replay-ability for subtly. Overall, while this beat does have a boss instrument line-up, it's not exactly a great success in all other respects. 5/10 (Weighted for 25%)

The Announcer - Sounds like he got over that cough from #9. His voice is loud, long, punctual, and without fault. This is the first time in ERBoHistory that Nice Peter got the announcer down perfect. If ONLY the ending gag didn't fall flat, but I won't bag on that too much. 9.5/10 (Weighted for 10%)

The Costumes - Ben Franklin - Let's make the mistake of assuming Ben Franklin is based on his 5th Google Images picture. Why? Well, if this is the case, his clothing is pretty much correct. Don't know where the cape is from but seeing the introductory lines I can tell it was mostly for dramatic effect. The colors are a little off, don't know if that's the picture or the clothing. Basically a lighter scheme might have worked better for the sake of imitation, although on screen I can tell this color scheme might look nicer. And does anybody else notice his vest is...umm...well, it's not exactly made of fine leather, now is it? And hey, I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. Now we move to his head. The glasses are an easy but essential touch. His hair is more based on Google's first image I can tell, but then we get the matter of his hair not being thick enough. For the sake of argument let's say the hair is more in the style of #3, then we still have the question of why is the hair matted? Kind of a cheap wig if you ask me. Why Ben Franklin has OIL on his head I can't tell, was Lloyd auditioning for...never mind. NEVER MIND. I don't think we wanna think about Lloyd in that context. At least I don't. The balding isn't even completely correct, there should still be hair in the back of the hair. At least he doesn't look...oh wait, yes he does. He looks five years younger. This costume represents somebody going off of the mental image they have from 8th grade history class as an adult and making the costume. 3/10 (Weighted for 5%)

The Costumes - Billy Mays and Vince Offer - For Billy first.........haaaaaahaaaaaaagghh....*drools.* How did they find a guy - Colin J. Sweeney to be exact - who looks EXACTLY like Mr. Mays. And the costume is also PERFECT. Damn this is...wow. I don't need to explain that to anybody, do I? 10/10 (Weighted for 2.5%) As for Vince, he's also really close but not "holy sh1t they found his twin" close. The mic is a nice touch for sure, and the hair is exact. His eyebrows are also pretty much exact. I think the face is kind of a problem. He looks like Vince if he was slightly retarded and homosexual. Offending demographics is fun! The actual Vince is much more of a "Yeah, I know you're talking to me, but I'm gonna ask if you're talking to me anyways because I'm cool and I'm Vince." This is a very good attempt but only a cigarette, no cigar. 7/10 (Weighted for 2.5%) Spare me from talking about George Washington's costume until the change.

Imitations - You know the drill with those old historical figures. There's not a lot of...well...footage of them...talking. Actually...there's...none. So I can't talk about Big Ben Franklin. So I'll go for Billy Mays and Vince Offer, people who talked for a living....BILLY MAYS? BILLY MAYS? Yeah, Billy Mays if he was a child! That is no Billy Mays! What are we, what? How can you? What is this? I DON'T EVEN. And then you wanna talk about Vince Offer....VINCE OFFER? YEAH, VINCE IF HE HAD ASTHMA! That is no Vince Offer! What are we, what? How can you? What is this? I DON'T EVEN. 1/10 (Weighted for 10%) But if we wanna laugh for a little bit, you gotta see Vince's newest commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAQjF5RPgbg

First Round - The Prophet of Tolerance - Well, he's got most bases covered. His tempo? Pretty much on spot. His rhyming ability? More than on the spot. His references? In this round, they're really good. Rick James...crack; battle...city of Philly; victory's more certain...death or taxes. For some reason I don't think he really had any BOOM lines, and I think that's because he was more about threats than insults. "I'm going to beat you because I'm awesome." But are you going to prove it Mr. Franklin? A very good round but not as good as it could have been. 8/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Second Round - William Darrell Mays Jr. - Billy borders this round of battle with two BOOM lines. The first being "offer...father." The other being "shock...lightning rod c***...". The lines in between kinda feel flat, A bunch of cool references not making a whole lotta sense in context. His sound is also off and he can't compete with Franklin's ability to rhyme. The BOOM lines save this round. 7/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Third Round - The First American - The first Franklin BOOM line was debuted here. "It takes just one easy payment for me to WHOOP YOUR @$$." Now dat's da stuff. The last two lines although, felt flat and I really wish "Join or Die" could have been used better. 7.5/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Fourth Round - Offer Shlomi - Now this is the winning round. THE winning round. THE WINNING ROUND. THE WINNING ROUND. THE WINNING ROUND. Every line was a BOOM line. EVERY LINE. Complete domination man! And to add to that, he sounded perfect too! PURE. UNFILTERED. UNALTERED. MADE TO ORDER. RAISED IN GEORGIA. DOMINATION. 10/10 (Weighted for 12.5%)

Final Results:

The Patron Saint of Advertising: 15.5/20
The Patron Saints of Advertising: 17/20

Overall Score: 60/100

Next Time: John Lennon vs. Bill O' Reily

Moonjik
04-14-2012, 03:38 PM
Can't wait until the next one sir.

I Da Cash Man
04-14-2012, 04:09 PM
Can't wait until the next one sir.

Thank You, My Lord.

Hedgeog
04-14-2012, 04:27 PM
THAT CASHMAN IS A SPAI.


A spy which spys on enemy spys, heh.


Good work, Spy, here's your award.
:insert150000shitloadofwhateveryoulikehere:

I Da Cash Man
04-14-2012, 08:50 PM
THAT CASHMAN IS A SPAI.


A spy which spys on enemy spys, heh.


Good work, Spy, here's your award.
:insert150000shitloadofwhateveryoulikehere:

Considering all of my options, lolwut.

Prince
04-14-2012, 08:58 PM
i enjoyed this very much.

I Da Cash Man
04-14-2012, 09:09 PM
i enjoyed this very much.

Thank you my Prince.

...Goddess...Prince....now all we need is a King and we're all set.

Hedgeog
04-15-2012, 03:12 PM
i enjoyed this very much.

Thank you my Prince.

...Goddess...Prince....now all we need is a King and we're all set.

there we go.

Moonjik
04-15-2012, 03:26 PM
[quote=Prince]i enjoyed this very much.

Thank you my Prince.

...Goddess...Prince....now all we need is a King and we're all set.

there we go.[/quote:1py0nhr6]
Huzzuh! Who's to be the humble peasant?

Hedgeog
04-15-2012, 03:28 PM
[quote="I, Da Ca$hman":2tr218p8][quote=Prince]i enjoyed this very much.

Thank you my Prince.

...Goddess...Prince....now all we need is a King and we're all set.

there we go.[/quote:2tr218p8]
Huzzuh! Who's to be the humble peasant?[/quote:2tr218p8]

its just a suffix thank you very much.

Dan
04-15-2012, 03:29 PM
There we go.

Moonjik
04-15-2012, 03:31 PM
There we go.
If only everybody changed there names to a medieval hierarchy...knight, duke, dame etc.

SuperRapz
04-15-2012, 05:59 PM
SuperKnight!

Dan
04-15-2012, 06:04 PM
do eet.

SuperRapz
04-15-2012, 06:10 PM
Nah, It Would Cause Chaos For Dion. My Avatar Has SuperRapz On it ;p

Ultamite Blowup
04-16-2012, 09:42 PM
GODDANGIT VINCE AND BILLY ARE NOT A TEAM

I Da Cash Man
04-17-2012, 08:59 PM
[quote=Prince]i enjoyed this very much.

Thank you my Prince.

...Goddess...Prince....now all we need is a King and we're all set.

there we go.[/quote:dmrm57sv]

Now we have the proper Kingdom of Epic Rap Battles of History of of of of of.



There we go.
If only everybody changed there names to a medieval hierarchy...knight, duke, dame etc.

What would I be? Robin in the Hood?


GODDANGIT VINCE AND BILLY ARE NOT A TEAM

....Did I say they were a team? Ah well. Regardless, they were both rapping against Ben Franklin, and in the same video as a matter of fact. It's close enough. Vince showed up after Billy died; Savage died after Hogan died; does that mean The Mega Powers weren't a team?

Ultamite Blowup
04-17-2012, 09:28 PM
No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

SuperRapz
04-17-2012, 09:33 PM
No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?
Can Anyone Finish This Battle FOR Billy.

nobody
04-18-2012, 06:45 AM
No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?
Can Anyone Finish This Battle FOR Billy.
Vince helped Billy during the battle

I Da Cash Man
04-18-2012, 06:06 PM
No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

When did they say in #5 they were teaming up?

So what are you saying, it's a 3-Way Battle?

...O.O

It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time!

SuperRapz
04-18-2012, 06:09 PM
[quote="Ultamite Blowup":1411n758]No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

When did they say in #5 they were teaming up?

So what are you saying, it's a 3-Way Battle?

...O.O

It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time![/quote:1411n758]
No. Can Anyone Finish This Battle For Billy Mays, PS They Said They Were On A Team In The Title. "Hulk Hogan And Macho Man VS Kim Jong-Il.

I Da Cash Man
04-18-2012, 07:22 PM
[quote="Ultamite Blowup":2ih8y3jw]No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

When did they say in #5 they were teaming up?

So what are you saying, it's a 3-Way Battle?

...O.O

It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time!
No. Can Anyone Finish This Battle For Billy Mays, PS They Said They Were On A Team In The Title. "Hulk Hogan And Macho Man VS Kim Jong-Il.[/quote:2ih8y3jw]

Okay, so what are you saying, it's a "Can Anyone Finish This Battle" video? The fact is that there were two people on one team, one on another. The title of #5 wasn't always like that. This is a pointless debate and the implication that they were both rapping against Ben Franklin is illustrated by the phrase "A TEAM." End conversation. Goodnight everybody.

Froggy
04-18-2012, 07:40 PM
[quote="Ultamite Blowup":ctyostpw]No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

When did they say in #5 they were teaming up?

So what are you saying, it's a 3-Way Battle?

...O.O

It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time!
No. Can Anyone Finish This Battle For Billy Mays, PS They Said They Were On A Team In The Title. "Hulk Hogan And Macho Man VS Kim Jong-Il.[/quote:ctyostpw]
WOAH. When did they change the title??? I remember it as "Hulk Hogan vs. Kim Jong-il" and Macho-Man was a surprise. that new title ruins it.

Top-Hattington
04-18-2012, 08:14 PM
[quote="Ultamite Blowup":rhw9x07n]No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

When did they say in #5 they were teaming up?

So what are you saying, it's a 3-Way Battle?

...O.O

It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time!
No. Can Anyone Finish This Battle For Billy Mays, PS They Said They Were On A Team In The Title. "Hulk Hogan And Macho Man VS Kim Jong-Il.
WOAH. When did they change the title??? I remember it as "Hulk Hogan vs. Kim Jong-il" and Macho-Man was a surprise. that new title ruins it.[/quote:rhw9x07n]

I think the original suggestion had both of their names in it, so he must've changed it accordingly. Another factor is the possibility of him doing it out of respect for the now late Macho Man

I Da Cash Man
04-18-2012, 08:17 PM
[quote="I, Da Ca$hman":2cf83umg][quote="Ultamite Blowup":2cf83umg]No, in five they actauly said they were teaming up. In ten, they said can anyone finish this battle?

When did they say in #5 they were teaming up?

So what are you saying, it's a 3-Way Battle?

...O.O

It's been right in front of our eyes this whole time!
No. Can Anyone Finish This Battle For Billy Mays, PS They Said They Were On A Team In The Title. "Hulk Hogan And Macho Man VS Kim Jong-Il.
WOAH. When did they change the title??? I remember it as "Hulk Hogan vs. Kim Jong-il" and Macho-Man was a surprise. that new title ruins it.[/quote:2cf83umg]

I think the original suggestion had both of their names in it, so he must've changed it accordingly. Another factor is the possibility of him doing it out of respect for the now late Macho Man[/quote:2cf83umg]

They did change the title around the same time Macho Man died, maybe a little after. The original title was Hulk Hogan vs. Kim Jong-Il. Also, the original suggestion was "The Mega Powers vs. Kim Jong-Il." The Mega Powers isn't as big a name as Hulk Hogan (for some ridiculous reason) and they just had Hogan for the title for the sake of surprise.

BBC7
04-19-2012, 09:28 PM
Wow you haven't posted a review in a long time.

I Da Cash Man
04-20-2012, 10:25 PM
Wow you haven't posted a review in a long time.

What do you mean a long time? 5 Days? Chill dude. I think I went at least a month at one point.

BBC7
04-20-2012, 11:23 PM
Wow you haven't posted a review in a long time.

What do you mean a long time? 1,000,000,000,000 Days? Chill dude. I think I went at least 500 centuries at one point.

Oh, then nvm. You're taking a very short time.

nobody
04-21-2012, 09:15 AM
Everybody can relax at one point

I Da Cash Man
04-21-2012, 12:17 PM
Wow you haven't posted a review in a long time.

What do you mean a long time? 1,000,000,000,000 Days? Chill dude. I think I went at least 500 centuries at one point.

Oh, then nvm. You're taking a very short time.

XD. I like that.


Everybody can relax at one point

Only at 75 latitude 68 longitude. Everywhere else people are freaking out.

nobody
04-21-2012, 12:24 PM
[quote=BBC7]Wow you haven't posted a review in a long time.

What do you mean a long time? 1,000,000,000,000 Days? Chill dude. I think I went at least 500 centuries at one point.

Oh, then nvm. You're taking a very short time.

XD. I like that.


Everybody can relax at one point

Only at 75 latitude 68 longitude. Everywhere else people are freaking out.[/quote:2gz4i2s5]
exactly

Froggy
05-05-2012, 07:55 AM
When is your next review coming? I enjoy reading them

I Da Cash Man
05-05-2012, 08:02 PM
When is your next review coming? I enjoy reading them

My next review will be Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe. It will come out a day or two after the battle comes out. Thanks for enjoyin'. For all the people who enjoy my stuff, sorry I procrastinated so much.