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Uprising
08-09-2012, 06:55 PM
I'm gonna start doing this since it seems that everybody else does. I will take requests. My first review is going to be Kim Jong Il vs. Hulk Hogan.

[spoiler:36zc9ggo]Kim Jong-il
The nameís Kim Jong, I got a license to IL
(Wait, you live in North Korea. IL is Illinois)
Make you swallow my rhymes like a steroids pill
(It's already hard to swallow those stupid looking glasses)
Your body looks like a spray tan banana
(I can't picture the Hulkster as a banana)
With a walrus mustache and a wack bandana
(Nice one with the walrus stuff)
Iím coming at you like the Asian Rick Flair
(That would be Antonio Inoki, read up before you rap)
b***h, Iíll suplexx you by your friggin dick hair
(So KJI's pretty big on giving out handjobs, eh?)
Your whole famís a bunch of Barbies, dude
(I think that most wrestlers are men)
You want beef? Eat this Korean BBQ!
(I don't know, Korea barbeques some pretty messed up stuff)

Hulk Hogan
You got a ring side seat to your own smackdown brother
(DONT BUY HIM TICKETS, HE'S DISSING YOU)
You look like Sonic the Hedgehogís mother
(Calling a world leader that might not put your country on his Top 10 list)
Youíre a freak, a phony, a rice-a-roni jabroni
(Speaking of nonsense...)
Iím gonna bounce you like a check for my alimony
(KJI's not chubby enough to get bounced, but he's damned close)
Come on dude, all the little Hulksters know
Iíll hang you from the ropes like South Park puppet show
(Don't think there's a South Park puppet show, again read up before you rap)
Iíll choke hold you hostage like Laura Ling
(Yeah, the whole Korean army won't get past the Hulkster!)
Brother Iíll leg drop your ass back to Beijing!
(Sounds like a winner to me)

Kim Jong-il
Beijing is in China, you blond asshole
(No way...)
Iím a god amongst men, youíre a suburban commando
(If you were a god amongst men, you wouldn't waste your time rapping against wrestlers)
North Korea, b***h Let me give you a tour
(No thanks, don't wanna be shot at)
By the way your wife says my dick is bigger than yours!
(I don't think that even Hogan's wife would chose a tyrannical dictator over him)

Announcer
Hulk Hogan goes down. I donít know if he can finish the battle!
(Oh no, no more of that awesomely shittastic rapping!)
Heís reaching for the ropes! Its...its...Macho Man Randy Savage!
(And you thought it couldn't be less literate)

Macho Man
Oh, yeah, itís about to get real
(Is it? Your profession doesn't seem real in the least bit.)
Watch me snap into a Slim Jim Kim Jong-il
(Just cause it rhymes doesn't mean it makes sense, Randy)
I donít like to hit little bitches with glasses
(Just cause you're juiced
But when midgets step up I stomp midget asses
(Don't really know how midgets would "step up")
The Macho Man There is no equal
(I can think of about a million)
So spend less time rapping and start feeding your people
(That's actually some good advice, for both men)
PUNK Iíll elbow drop your whole nation
(You have some big elbows)
On behalf of the entire World Wrestling Federation
(Don't know if the entire Federation wants to be related to this pile of garbage)
Ohh, Yeah!
(Yeah! The rap is over!)[/spoiler:36zc9ggo]

08-09-2012, 07:03 PM
can u review 3 of my diss raps please?

The Matt and Anthony one.
The Vesta One.
The Chris One.

L
08-09-2012, 07:14 PM
can ya review my GLaDOS vs Sherlock Holmes

Faker
08-09-2012, 07:31 PM
The Slim Jim line was there because Macho Man did commercials for Slim Jims. Sorry, had to say it. It was great, though! Can you literal review my Rick Astley vs Eduard Khil?

Uprising
08-09-2012, 10:46 PM
I will try to do at least one per day. Consider all of those on my schedule.

Uprising
08-10-2012, 02:29 PM
I'll start with one of SBS' dis raps, the Chris one. Hope it's enjoyable. Here we go...

[spoiler:tex931hj]It's A Wake Up Call For You Guys, Just Don't Get Pissed.
(You woke me up, that's reason enough)
You Get To Witness The Diss Of The Fag Named Chris,
(Christopher Robin? Ooh boy, i've been waiting for this one!)
Who Throws Foot-Balls In The Face Of The Little Siss.
(Ooh, guess it's not Christopher Robin)
Who Consist's Of Nothing But Shit And Piss.
(That's a bit strange)
He's Got No Fucking Heart! Get Ready For This!
(HOW THE HELL IS HE STILL ALIVE)
If You Can't Rap b***h Just Don't Assist.
(Well, if you wanna be blunt about it)
They Keep Saying SBS You Don't Have To Diss.
(Who sayin dat foo?)
Hell No! I Insist On Dissing This Prick!
(Well, you've already started, carry on)
So Listen Up Shit!! Yeah I'm Talking To You!
(Don't talk to pieces of shit, you may be sent to an insane asylum)
What You Gonna Do? Ban Me From You're Fucking Crew?
(I bet he will if you dis rap him)
Shit, If You Had A Crew Already Then Why Do You Try To Join Another?
(Maybe he's multicultural)
You Belong In A Crew Filled With 40 Year Old Virgins Who Live With Their Mothers!
(I thought he was a kid...)
When Chris Was Born Did He Just Took A Fucking Huge Fall?
(Well, maybe, you'd have to ask his mother)
He Sounds Like A Brain Damaged Prick Obsessed With Balls!
(I have a small feeling you don't like him very much)
Take A Hint b***h! There Not Gonna Answer The Door!
(Unless they dis rap you, then they will)
The Only Thing You Can Get Close To Is Your Fucking SkateBoard!
(Didn't he have a gf?)
And Adoni Don't Feel Guilty About Not Wanting To Be Around This Ass-Wipe.
(Who would want to be friends with somebody without vital organs?)
If He Ever Messes With You, Beat Him So Fast Like You're Name Was Wright!
(Or just tell him this dis rap)
I'll Be Diss Rapping This Mother Fucker 24/7, That'll Be Swell!
(This can't go forever, I have school to go to in a few weeks)
Until I Die And Go To Heaven Then I Can Spartan Kick Him To Hell!
(Good luck keeping a girlfriend if all you ever do is dis rap a prick that she doesn't even know)
This b***h Thinks He Can Rhyme! Ha! Then How'd You Get Owned Multiple Times?
I Would'nt Pay To See You Rap If The Price Was A Dime!
(It wouls be worth it, to throw some assorted fruits at him)
I've Been Doing This Shit For 9 Episodes And I Still Aint Tired.
(No more episodes, remember you're doing this 24/7)
You Know You Fucked Up When You Saw Diss Raps And SBS Was Hired!
I'm Building The Tension Up, Just To Break It Back Down!
I Can't Wait To Fucking Burn Chris's House To The Ground!
(Doesn't that make you the insane one?)
I Find It Kind Off Odd That You're Still Being Loud!
(I couldn't hear him over your epic dis rap skills)
b***h Being Mod Basically Means You Got A Crown!
(Really? Or you could just run for king. Oh wait, that won't work...)
You Try To Buy My Affection b***h I'll Spit In Your Eye.
(I get it, so he's crying without even crying in the first place)
When I Beat You.. You'll Be So Disfigured You're Just Known As ThatGuy!
(Which one? That guy or that one dude on the corner begging me for change?)
You're Dissing My Friends! b***h I Can't Handle That!
SuperRapz Where The Hell Is My Gun At?!
(Jeez, you need to calm the fuck down, it's a dis rap not a beheading)
I'll See You Guys In Episode 10! It'll Really Test Ya.
(BUT I DIDN'T STUDY)
To See How Good I Diss Rap Some c**t Named Vesta!
(Translation: Now it's time for your dis raps to take a bit of a resta)[/spoiler:tex931hj]

08-10-2012, 02:41 PM
haha!

BKTurner47
08-10-2012, 03:11 PM
Can you review my Dr Evil vs Dr Rip Studswell rap battle?

Uprising
08-10-2012, 03:11 PM
Can you review my Dr Evil vs Dr Rip Studswell rap battl?
I've got a long schedule for reviews already, I try to do 1 per day.

BKTurner47
08-10-2012, 03:12 PM
Can you review my Dr Evil vs Dr Rip Studswell rap battl?
I've got a long schedule for reviews already, I try to do 1 per day.

By can you find a time to post it?

Uprising
08-10-2012, 03:13 PM
[quote="Timmy Turner":2itmcczb]Can you review my Dr Evil vs Dr Rip Studswell rap battl?
I've got a long schedule for reviews already, I try to do 1 per day.

By can you find a time to post it?[/quote:2itmcczb]

Yours will probably be done at least on or before Tuesday.

BKTurner47
08-10-2012, 03:14 PM
[quote="Timmy Turner":2k3hkmxa]Can you review my Dr Evil vs Dr Rip Studswell rap battl?
I've got a long schedule for reviews already, I try to do 1 per day.

By can you find a time to post it?

Yours will probably be done at least on or before Tuesday.[/quote:2k3hkmxa]

Ok.

BKTurner47
08-11-2012, 02:08 PM
Hello? [spoiler:1r6ohks7]Yes? I wasnít - nvm Finish! Maybe I should stop having random dialogue Well good thing itís in the spoiler! SHUT UP! No. Iíll make you! TRY ME! I won. You won? Okay.... Hey! Donít be so down! - cricket noises - Okay..... I can get to business.[/spoiler:1r6ohks7]

With that out of the way, Iím excited for Tuesday for my rap to be reviewed!

Uprising
08-11-2012, 03:17 PM
Next to be reviewed is Brickman's GLaDOS vs. Sherlock Holmes

[spoiler:13z8i0k8]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
GLaDOS VS SHERLOCK HOLMES
BEGIN!
Sherlock Holmes: GLaDOS, will you ever learn, from all those tests, which are absolutely absurd.
(Oh, those tests. I knew that wasn't a flu shot...)
You remember Caroline?
(Yeah, she was a bitch, I deleted her from my life)
Perhaps not, you deleted her,
(I just said I did)
But your mind needs a silver line.
(She's a robot, no mind)
I've solved thousands of mysteries,
(So has Scooby Doo)
Chell has made you history
(You aren't nessecarily the hippest book series anymore, but that movie wasn't bad)
I'll mashy plate your mortal soul,
(Have fun with that)
Then knock your a** through a portal hole!
(That could cause a few minor injuries. Maybe a lawsuit as well)
GLaDOS: I don't have an a**, I'm a robot, genie.
(I don't think Sherlock is a genie)
You cokehead, you wear a double billed beanie!
(Which was a very current hat in his time)
I have many different cores,
(You've got the planet Earth beaten already)
You dressed as some sideshow whore
(Manwhore, mind you)
I am history, I am great
(Great at being a failure. You couldn't win in your own video game)
Your partner, Watson, gave up a life that could have had a life that would have been great.
(Wait, what?)
Go solve a case, because your life is such a waste.
(Yeah, stopping burglaries and solving mysteries is quite a waste of time, especially since he gets paid for it)
WHO WON?
(Chuck Norris)
WHO'S NEXT?
(Somebody else)
YOU DECIDE!
(OOH BOY! I WANT KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR VS DOC HALLADAY!)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
(GLaDOS releases neurotoxin, killing the announcer)
(Yeah, that could be a lawsuit as well)[/spoiler:13z8i0k8]

Uprising
08-12-2012, 11:54 AM
Today I will be reviewing Spike's RIck Astley vs. Eduard Khil battle. It wasn't on Spike's battles page so I had to do some looking, but I found it. Here it is...

[spoiler:36mbvkt5]Rick Astley:
Let's do this! Never Gonna Give You Up, Never Gonna Let You Down, clown!
(Seriously when I first heard this song I thought he was a homosexual)
Never Gonna Run Around And Desert You like yo mom, but I'll beat you down!
(RIck Astley with the yo mama joke, ooh!)
Let's go baby, I'm gonna kill Khil. In Soviet Russia, Wood Cuts you!
(I would ask some Russians if that is true, but I don't have the energy)
I'm the Tree of Life, gonna make your warzone City Blue!
(Speaking of trees, what does that have to do with Khilling Khil?)
You're a Grumpy Old Troll, living under a bridge, you dig?
(Must have dug pretty far)
It's a repeat of your death, cuz once again, you're getting brain damaged!
A man who sings opera? I suppose next you'll fall in a coma.
(But he's dead)
Oh, sorry, that already happened in 2012, When you Gonna...
(Oh, I see...)
Fail as a federative, fail as a meme.
Fail as the motherfucker who could never reach his dreams!
(Because my dream was to be the most famous song of the 80s that everybody hates today)
I'll sing choir at your funeral, And People'll Go to See.
(If you don't like the guy, why go to his funeral?)
That this stoked bloke with a stroke, can never beat Rick Astley!
(Well, he had a stroke, he won't be beating anybody for a while)

Eduard Khil:
TROLOLOLOLOLOLO, time to Troll Mr. Rick Roll!
(WHOA HES STILL ALIVE)
You can't stop me, you gardening homosexual!.
I mean, you even share your birthday with 4 dudes.
(So does just about everybody on the planet)
You're about to Flop, just like "When You Gonna," too!
(Rick was a one hit wonder...)
The stage, isn't the place for wannabe blacks!
(Why is a Russian opera singer trying to rap then?)
I'm gonna call FBI on this "Elvis," to exterminate a rat!
(Once the feds get Astley, they're never gonna give him up)
How you gonna win, when you're just a high school drop out?
(Hey, so was Woody Guthrie, and he saw his fair share of fame)
Come on Ashley-, er, Astley, are you really gonna make me SHOUT!?
(Apparently, you haven't even let him talk)
I'm gonna cream this meme, cuz I'm mean, gonna redeem!
Pop this motherfucker, along with his singing dreams!
(I think those were popped about 15 years ago)
And We Only Need the Victory, to insure the death of this fool!
You're gonna wish you never dropped out, cuz you're about to be schooled!
(I believe he already has been)

Rick Astley:
You Know The Rules and So Do I!
(Oh really? What's rule number 57.5B then? I thought so...)
Once Ed show's his face, he's gonna have to die!
(He already did, again)
A Full Commitment, to Death's what you should be thinking of!
You're Forever Alone, Never Gonna get any love!
You Couldn't Get This From Any Other Guy!
(Wait, are you talking about your rap or your love?)
Here's a Song About A Friend, Eduard, Sike!
(Thought it was psych, whatever)
Now I'm Always Gonna Give You Up, I'm Gonna Pound You Down!
(You should have given up while you had the chance, Khil is kicking your ass)
Now take that Stroke, and turn that troll smile into a frown!
(Everybody! Have you heard? If you're in the game, then the strokes the word!)

Eduard Khil has a stroke and falls to his death!
(Was he standing over a cliff?)
He's being replace by...

Troll Face:
TROLOLOLO, Eduard still lives, b***h!
(Didn't think drawings could talk, but ok)
What kind of F's do you think I give?
(4channers, duh)
You look wonderful, in that skanky outfit, Astley.
And when you have a face like Bill Gates, you shouldn't call mine nasty!
(I don't believe he said ANYTHING about you, Mr. Troll Face)
I trolled you good, made you think won.
(I don't know if Astley even thought he won)
But you never stood a chance against the top gun!
(Sorry, that was Tom Cruise, get out of his danger zone)
Now give up the mic, the crowd wants me.
(Yeah, the crowd really wants to be trolled)
Rest in Pieces, Rick, R-I-P!
(R.I.P = Rick Is a Prick. Am I right? Eh? Thought so.)[/spoiler:36mbvkt5]

Uprising
08-13-2012, 05:16 PM
Today I will be reviewing, since I promised Timmy that his would be tomorrow, and actual ERBOH: Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley. I am still taking requests.

[spoiler:1stzo3tq]Young Michael Jackson:
Oooh Elvis Presley as I live and breath
(But you're dead)
You stole rock and roll, gave us rockabilly cheese
(That sounds tasty, could I have a try?)
You dance like an epileptic nothing but left feet
(Maybe he only went halfway through the Hokey Pokey)
I've seen every record you set, man I beat it
(Not the record for hippest hair of the 50s)
Here's a tip, don't swallow a bucket of drugs so you won't die on the toilet dropping hunks of Burning Love
(That's some good advice, but it's a wee bit late for it to matter now)
I'm Bad
(Yep)
I'm a Smooth Criminal
(Wasn't that Alien Ant Farm?)
better face up
(Yeah, Michael will moonwalk all over your face, unless you're a child. Then it's a moonwalk in some other place)
call me Ed Sullivan, shoot you from the waist up
(Ed Sullivan shot Elvis? So he didn't die on the crapper...)
Watch me moonwalk and I step on your blue suede
(Ooh, making it pretty personal)
Even in death I go platinum on Blu-Ray
(So did Titanic, lots of people died on that)
Spitting out hits since I was six years old
(With the help of 4 brothers who were older than you)
I'm the King of Pop, you're the King of Jelly Rolls
(I believe that may be a ranking of quite high honor in medival times)

Young Elvis Presley:
Well I died on the shitter but I don't give a crap
(Very punny, Elvis)
You ain't got half the badass battle raps that I have
(I thought MJ was the bad one, Elvis should stick to singing Jailhouse Rock, his rapping skills aren't really rapping at all)
I got one for your monkey and two for your clothes
Three for your family and four for your nose
(I think that's 4 noses, 3 familys, 2 clothes and 1 monkey. Bit of monkey business going on right there)
You better surrender talkin' bout them ABC's
(WHICH BTW is easier than 123)
Cause all you wanna do is teach kids the birds and the bees
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaaVbWD3USI)
This is the big time, Jacko, no, dress rehearsal
I'll light you up like your hair in a Pepsi commercial
(Ooh, that sounds painful)
I can tell you're angry, but I can't comprehend it
(Cause he didn't quite get the schooling that the Jackson 5 did)
I stole from black culture why are you offended?
(Good point, Mr. King)
Your Daddy beat gold records out of you, like alchemy
(Leave the science to Steven Hawking please)
Don't make me spank you and dangle your ass over a balcony
(Elvis isn't fat, but he's no Mike Tyson either)

Adult Michael Jackson:
Oooh
(OH SNAP)
It's about time for a Thriller
(Agreed)
Didn't lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla
(That's what she said)
I'm going Off the Wall I won't stop 'til I get enough
(Song references, very creative MJ)
Whooping your big fat ass with my shiny glove
(OOH that might hurt)
How you gonna talk about the birds and the bees
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaaVbWD3USI)
When you met your own wife when she was only 14
(So? Cleopatra met her husbands when they were kids too)
Then you made one daughter; she came to me
(Maybe she was tired of hearing about Elvis' views on the ghetto and wanted a bit more of a thriller)
I took her to my Neverland Ranch to Hee-Hee
(HEE-HEE. Am I not remembering something here?)
You shoulda stayed in the army dude
(Well, he probably would have died, so don't wish that upon him. Besides, it already happened on the shitter)
Shamone, even Tito looks better than you
I'm singing aaaahhhhhh
(I always knew Michael had a way with realllllllllllly long words)
You're singing don't be cruel
There's only one crown baby let the one King rule
(How about the queen? Whitney is offended)

Old Elvis Presley:
You're a creeper dude
(Yeah, your voice is a really good creeper voice as well)
You like to grab your own wanger
(That deserves a HEE-HEE)
I only let you marry my daughter cause I knew you'd never bang her
(He's a tougher father in law than Jack Byrnes in Meet the Parents)
You think you're tough?
Man, you look like Tootie
(MJ was a bit scrawny)
I was badder then you in my Blue Hawaii movie
(That's debatable)
You lost your damn mind, that's why they cast you in The Wiz
(At least he found one in the end)
You're like a sad white woman who never got to be a kid
(I don't believe thats possible)
I'm out, before you try to hold me and free your willy
(Good idea, being locked in a closet with Michael is never a good idea. Too many HEE-HEEs can drive a person insane)
Later weirdo, Elvis is leaving the building
(He obviously left because in his time, his hips were more of a threat to the stability of America than the Russians having nukes was)[/spoiler:1stzo3tq]

Uprising
08-14-2012, 11:03 PM
Bull crap. I forgot about doing Timmy's today. Consider tomorrow my official day then.

Faker
08-14-2012, 11:16 PM
Can you do a literal review of my Will Smith vs Frieza?

Uprising
08-14-2012, 11:18 PM
Can you do a literal review of my Will Smith vs Frieza?
Consider it on my list.

Uprising
08-15-2012, 01:25 PM
Today I will be reviewing Timmy Turners Dr Evil vs Dr Rip Studswell battle.

[spoiler:3dwjjmru]Dr Rip Studswell
You can't beat a hippie, so how can you beat me?
(So you're the super-hippie? Nice, dude)
I'm a professional doctor, DUDE! I thought you could see.
(DUDE...I think this could have a lot of dude references coming)
I'll cure your baldness unjust a few second.
(I think there's people who need baldness cured more than he does)
Rapping against me and I win is just a benefit.
(Is it? You aren't really speeding toward victory right now)
I'll fly over your million dollars and even steal that junk!
(I thought you were a doctor, not a robber. The more you know...)
I'd slap you with my fairy hand but you don't even have a life, you dunce!
I'll run over you in slo-mo like an angry lifeguard!
(You mean a lifeguard who only cares about women from Baywatch, Rip)
Dr Evil's been a bad soul. Go down rotten like Pixar!
(Dr Evil bad? What is wrong with this world? SOMETHING ISN'T QUITE RIGHT)

Dr Evil
Fairies? I can catch them like Mr Crocker.
(Well, so could anybody if fairies existed)
Go back to your flying office on a broom like Harry Potter.
(Good line right here, props)
I'm one BILLION dollars richer. You're as annoying as Stitch!
(I think Doc Evil's about to leave Rip in some stiches of his own)
Stampedes of death I see. Like power in a ditch.
(Yep, figured that out myself)
You stupid fairy that should be in Aphea that can't even rap!
Take that you illegal rapper! Time to get things mad.
(If rapping was illegal in any way at all I think that Eminem would be the first one arrested)
Fairies can't show themselves, so basically, you're invisible!
(So how do you know he's even there against you?)
I'll pop those glasses offa ya so fast, it'll not be original!
(Guess not, I see how this is going to end already)

Dr Rip Studswell
So you're saying you're handing the gold to me?
(Well, technically the price of silver and gold is pretty close right now. I watch enough Pawn Stars to know that.)
Why thank you, this olympian stuff ain't big enough for thee.
(Well your waistline is offended by that)
I got all the ladies, you idiot! You can't even get one.
(Ouch. That's gonna piss off an already pissed off Dr Evil)
After this, Dr Evil's evil will forever be done!
(I don't think so, I mean he was obviously born into a family that did nothing but that)

Dr Evil
MWAHAHHAHAAHAH! Stuff just got real.
(Special thanks to the Macho Man Randy Savage for partially contributing to that line)
Dr Rip's about to be torn so fast, this'll be a deal.
(Not as ripped as Macho Man)
I bet you paid to lose, that tip was quite a loss!
(The exact opposite of Pete Rose)
Just like Animeme and a celebrity, I'LL FINISH LIKE A BOSS!
(Special thanks to The Lonely Island for partially contributing to that line)[/spoiler:3dwjjmru]

BKTurner47
08-15-2012, 03:32 PM
Good review. Not just because itís mine.