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View Full Version : Spike's "Dis The Shit Outta Pricks" Service!



Faker
10-04-2012, 01:45 PM
I already PMed Zoroark. He can have his Pokemon Dis Raps back. I decided I just want to do normal Dis Raps. After doing this for the newest member:

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=5673 (http://www.erboh.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=5673)

I had a thirst for Dis Raps. So let the Dis Raps begin!

Waiting List:
Uprising (Uprising)
Mac Miller (Uprising)
Great Grandma (Sane)
Brody Sauder (Brickman)

Faker
10-05-2012, 03:07 PM
Bump.

Anyone?

ZoroarkPKMN
10-05-2012, 03:13 PM
Here's one to get you started:

"Dear Sergeant Spike,
There's this prick at my school named Louie. Pretty tall, occasionally wears glasses. We used to be friends in 5th and 6th grade, but lately he's been a huge dickbag (hint, hint). Every single time I try to talk to him he's sarcastic! I took my phone out while we were lining up to go to the buses, and he points at me going "You have your phone out!"
What a dickweasel.
He's an insane fan of KISS (wore makeup to their concert. I know because he gave me 3rd row tickets, one of the good parts about him), and he LOVES soup! He can't go a day without it! I'm serious! He's also a big dicknugget, have I mentioned that?
The list of the things he's done is a mile long. This list includes such things as: Tying me into a knot (legit knot, i'm not even joking), Picking me up to hard it hurts (by that I mean he lifts me up and squeezes my intestines, not a pretty feeling), Holding hands with a friend and instead of skipping gayly, runs as fast as light (weird, but he runs straight towards me and my friends. it's annoying. seriously. he's not gay though. but his sister is crazy for teen pop stars), etc.
I hate him. DISS HIS GOD-DAMN WHITE ASS FOR ME."

aDONIS
10-05-2012, 03:16 PM
dis me

Faker
10-05-2012, 03:37 PM
Spike's Dis Raps For Hire: Chapter 1: Louie

Spike was listening to his playlist on his iPod. He was listening to "Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers." The song was nearly finished when someone started ringing his doorbell like a million times! "I'll be right there!" shouted Spike. He put the song on pause and opened the door. It was the mailman. "Message for Mr. Spike," he said. He handed a letter to Spike who then proceed to open the envelope. He pulled out the letter:


Here's one to get you started:

"Dear Sergeant Spike,
There's this prick at my school named Louie. Pretty tall, occasionally wears glasses. We used to be friends in 5th and 6th grade, but lately he's been a huge dickbag (hint, hint). Every single time I try to talk to him he's sarcastic! I took my phone out while we were lining up to go to the buses, and he points at me going "You have your phone out!"
What a dickweasel.
He's an insane fan of KISS (wore makeup to their concert. I know because he gave me 3rd row tickets, one of the good parts about him), and he LOVES soup! He can't go a day without it! I'm serious! He's also a big dicknugget, have I mentioned that?
The list of the things he's done is a mile long. This list includes such things as: Tying me into a knot (legit knot, i'm not even joking), Picking me up to hard it hurts (by that I mean he lifts me up and squeezes my intestines, not a pretty feeling), Holding hands with a friend and instead of skipping gayly, runs as fast as light (weird, but he runs straight towards me and my friends. it's annoying. seriously. he's not gay though. but his sister is crazy for teen pop stars), etc.
I hate him. DISS HIS GOD-DAMN WHITE ASS FOR ME."

"LOUSY, DICKBAG WHITE ASSES!!!!" growled Spike. He grabbed his iPod and threw it at the mailman, launching him halfway across the country. He ran to his studio where he began to rap.

Sergeant Spike:
One! Two! Three!

Here I go, Chapter 1, making sure my job is done!
Bring it on Louie, this is a battle you have not yet won.
Why don't you bend down, and KISS my ass On second thought, don't.
You may not be gay, but you won't be straight after I tie you in a knot!
You're sister likes teen pop stars? I'm about to pop a teen.
You'll get creamed, cuz I spit all kinds of mean lyrical things!
You can't even hold onto your dickbag, how do you expect to hold your ground?
I'll mix you around, grind you down. Make a stew as I hear your whining sounds.
I don't take bribery so take those concert tickets back.
Besides, I don't want to listen to your gay JB. Better back down you rat!
Zoroark's great, so for him, I'll Fox you up!
Ain't no Illusion when you get your ass whupped.
Everyone on the bus, you hear me? (Hear me!) Take out your phones, You're all free. (Free!)
I'm gonna bring (Bring!) down this mean (Mean!) weeping machine. (Weeping Machine!)
You line up for the bus, cuz you'll never get anyone lining up for you.
Only time your famous is when your mommy loves you.
Come running at me with your friend at light speed.
Only time you're quick is when your not too light on the weed!
I'll tear you to shreds, legit, not joking.
You're outdated phone is the only smoking.
Roasting.
Toasting.
You boasting?
Now Sergeant Spike is loathing!
Weasel out of this! You dickweasel!
You were Zoroark friend? HOW EVIL!
(Seriously, dude. How are you gonna turn on a bro like that? I'm with my friends till the end, but you, you have to be such a dick. Do you get pride from that Louie, do you? I'd recommend a therapist. But I'm your psychologist now, soooo...)
you better run off! Jump off...
into the ocean and take a needed bath!
I'm finished this prick, he's already in a twist.
Your shame was brought to you by this dis!
(You're finished!)

Clemi
10-05-2012, 04:06 PM
That one's nice ! You should try to find a beat !

Here's my demand :

Dear Sergeant Spike, i have a request :
His name is Clement (Yeah just like me) but everyone calls him "Clem" or "Cartman". He is French
He's making Role play and plays as a female Sadomasochist. His favourite sentence is "aaa" to express his surprise. He told us he was a girl during months and it was all fake.
Every time he's on skype, me and some friends are asking him to connect a micro and talk, but every time he says "tomorrow' since 6 years. And we never saw his face.
Also, he hates everything related to ERB, always saying "Clemi, you're obsessed with that shit"... He's nice, but he need a lesson. Can you dis rap the shit out of him please ?

Uprising
10-05-2012, 04:28 PM
Dis me. Then dis Mac Miller or 2Chainz. Your choice on the last one.

Faker
10-05-2012, 04:35 PM
I'm only doing 1 a day, so Adonis will be dissed tomorrow. I'll update the OP with a waiting list.

10-05-2012, 11:56 PM
Dear Seargent Spike,

Can you diss my great great grandma? She's absolutely crazy. She called our house saying I stole some corn to go feed the birds. I DONT EVEN LIKE CORN.. At random times she will say I stole the corn. She put a mouse trap on my present one time. She is so old and confused, she stole a skillet from the store and didn't say anything until she got out. She lives in a small house and watches Tom and Jerry all the time. She is 96 years old.

L
10-06-2012, 01:41 AM
Can ya diss this prick named Brody Sauder?
He is a jock, around 5'9", and has a buzz cut.
He bullies my friend for his sexuality, another for his speach impediment, and occasionally me, as i am the only one willing to stand up to him.
Can ya do it for me Spike?

Faker
10-08-2012, 02:21 PM
Spike's Dis Raps For Hire: Chapter 2: Adonis

Sergeant Spike was sitting in a hot tub with his best friends. Spike continued his story, "So then I said, if you shove the grape jam up my nose, ONE MORE TIME, I'LL TAKE OUR GOPHER AND-!!!" he got cut off by the loud engine of an airplane. It left a trail of smoke spelling out a message:


dis me

"What? But you've never done anything to me," said Spike. Instantly, the plane dropped a crate on his tail. He screamed in pain and grew angry, "FUCKING CHEAP SHOT THROWING FORUMER!!!!"

Spike set the hotel on fire and used a passage under the hot tub leading into his studio.

Sergeant Spike:
You asked for a dis, Don? You're wish is my command!
Dropping crates from a plane? You're missing a brain, man.
I'll snap through your Chair Leg, leave you in stitches.
Your gullibility is delicious, but your personality's for bitches!
You lead Blazing Pwnage with me, but it's the only thing you lead.
Beside's that life that you strife and lead, the life of pain and misery!
Blow you up like the tank you can thank from my story.
Your group lost it's Elite status when it merged with my Blazing Glories!
Your named after a God, the God of What?
The God of stuffing chair legs up his butt!?
Prepare for Pwnage. Complete and utter ownage!
You must be an Onix, cuz you're on weed with that Stoned Edge.
I ain't going easy as on this sleazy cheesy measly,
motherfucker! You're the only person to make me queasy!
You got killed by the God of Dolphins, you're missing some cells in your cerebrum!
It's gonna be a lot worse when you exit the safety of Spartica's Colosseum!
You're pretty tough when it's a 2 VS 2, but guess what? That bitch is dead!
Now watch as I bring red dread into your sad little head.
You're Insane Rap Battles are worse then ERB 0.
Everyone calls you Fluttershy cuz you're too scared to be a hero!
(I'll snap yo marrow!)

aDONIS
10-08-2012, 03:24 PM
hurtfulllll.....

Faker
10-08-2012, 03:31 PM
hurtfulllll.....
You asked for it. Literally. :laugh: You know I was kidding, man. You're awesome! :D

10-08-2012, 03:34 PM
Liked my refrence!

Not all your diss raps will involve you getting angry right? O.O

aDONIS
10-08-2012, 03:35 PM
yea i was kidding :P Except my Insane Rap Battles do suck

Faker
10-08-2012, 03:43 PM
Liked my refrence!

Not all your diss raps will involve you getting angry right? O.O
Why? Am I scary when I'm angry?

Faker
10-12-2012, 01:21 AM
Dis Raps For Hire: Chapter 3: Clement

Spike was on a vacation in France, to relieve the stress of Dis Raps. He's sitting in a French coffee shop and is taking a sip from the tiny little cup. The warm coffee trickled down his throat, eventually traveling to his stomach. After he's finished with the coffee he wipes his face and prepares to order dinner. He picks up the menu and looks at the "Specials" Page. A sticky note was attached to it.


That one's nice ! You should try to find a beat !

Here's my demand :

Dear Sergeant Spike, i have a request :
His name is Clement (Yeah just like me) but everyone calls him "Clem" or "Cartman". He is French
He's making Role play and plays as a female Sadomasochist. His favourite sentence is "aaa" to express his surprise. He told us he was a girl during months and it was all fake.
Every time he's on skype, me and some friends are asking him to connect a micro and talk, but every time he says "tomorrow' since 6 years. And we never saw his face.
Also, he hates everything related to ERB, always saying "Clemi, you're obsessed with that shit"... He's nice, but he need a lesson. Can you dis rap the shit out of him please ?

"FRENCH TRANSVESTITES!!!!!" growled Spike.

Spike threw his menu at the restaurant with such great power that it sliced through a wall. Spike visited his underground French Dis Raps Studio. (Sweet, huh?)

Beat: [youtube:kaolfmau]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQBQxLBDprw[/youtube:kaolfmau]

Sergeant Spike:
Bonjour, soon to be Au Revoir! You want more, French whore?
I'll kick your drag queen ass right in the French Doors!
You have the name of my pal, but the heart of the devil.
Better open up a chatroom so I could see you at eye level.
We may be a little obsessed, but you're literally obsessed with shit!
Face the wrath, of this rap. Of this trap. Shut your crap, Clement!
Just cuz you played a Sadomasochist, doesn't mean your gettin' sex.
I'd Skype you, but you might mistake me for your ex!
Oui, your impending doom will be caused by moi.
Aaa, I'm facing a slug slurping showoff!
I'm a cart Cartman apart, lyrically impale his heart!
That's art! As quick as a dart. Kick your ass hard.
Only you won't connect your "micro" cuz that's all you have.
I'd put you in a Guillotine, but I couldn't tell your face from your ass!
I'll be back to kick your ass tomorrow, but I don't mean 6 years.
It's not my problem if you want to drown in your own pity and fear.

Clemi
10-13-2012, 04:53 AM
Man, that was awesome !

I'll send it to him ! :D

RLYoshi
10-17-2012, 03:13 PM
Hm...I really like this little thing you've got going here. I don't really have anyone to be dissed, but instead, I have an offer.

If you're up for it, do you think I could hop on board this and help you write these dis raps? I could even record them as actual raps, rather than just lyrics (though likely without any live action video stuff like Lloyd does). This is the kind of thing I could really get into.