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View Full Version : Batman vs Sherlock Holmes - The Literal Review



Moonjik
11-27-2012, 12:34 PM
Nice hat, dork, you look like a duck,
And you look like a cosplayer that's been dragged through Hot Topic.
I had Alfred read your books, he told me they suck,
I'm telling you that your rhymes suck.
I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash,
O.O Please don't.
I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash,
And I've seen better superhero work in Aquaman.
Chump, I kick punks like you off the streets,
So you're a glorified street cleaner?
While you and Velma here are solving Scooby Doo mysteries,
Now with added murder!
Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can,
Didn't you laugh when you said; "I had Alfred read your books, he told me they suck,"?
So bring it on bitch, I'm Batman,
I'm GoK.

I once met a rich fellow who smelled of Guano and pain,
Was it your mother? OOOOH!
Holmes, explain!
Please do.
I deduce this douche stain as Bruce Wayne,
Well NAW! :rolleyes:
The billionaire?
No, the other Bruce Wayne, the street cleaner.
Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours,
So by that logic, Donald Trump could be Batman?
To afford the toys he needs-
-since he has no super powers,
He hardly needs them.
You want to battle, bat? Bring it then,
I'm sure he will.
I heard his butler's English!
You're right...for once.
Good, then he'll be used to getting served by English men,
OOOOH!
You're a whack vigilante, black-pantied spud with no skill,
...whut?
My sidekick's a doctor,
Great observation, Captain Obvious,
Because his flows are so ill,
Give 'em some cough syrup,

Shut up nerds! I serve justice, so eat it,
Got any fries with that?
My sidekick only comes around-

When he's needed!
Oh god, no!
Boy wonder make a wonder how your ass got killed,
Not by you, obviously.
Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville,
You mean you bite dicks?
I'll blast you with that bat-wack-rap repellent!
You mean your cum?
Rappel a building, snatch a villain and by dinner I'll be chillin'
Slow down, kiddo, you can't even rappel a building.
Gotta secret bout your homegirl Irene Adler,
Do say.
Took her back to my next to BAM POW KERSPLAT her,
...I thought you were gay.
I'll shatter that fiddle with the chop of a hand,
That's what she said.
Holy Conan Doyle! Let's get 'em! Aw, goddamn!
That's it, no more sugar for you.

You're not smart, you're selfish, you endanger everyone's life,
So do you.
Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?
Because he needs to take care of Holmes' flow.
[/b]Nobody likes you, not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard,[/b]
I like him. ;_;
You'll die alone with no friends 'cept that needle in your arm,
Look who's talking,

This mustn't register on an emotional level,
No, it mustn't.
First, exploit childhood tragedy,
Mhm.
Then gesture with pipe, Watson finishes punchline,
Yeah...
Next, acknowledge compliment,
Aaaand?
Conclude with killer catchphrase,
JUST GET ON WITH IT!
I believe your parents' homicide is why you mask your face,
I believe you don't know what you're talking about,
You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace,
Dang...
Of watching like a passive waste while mommy died and daddy was dispatched with hate!
Now that's just mean. ;_;
Holmes, you've cracked the case!
What case?
YOU'RE A BAT-SHIT CRAZY BASKET CASE!
No sugar for you either,
Bloody good rhymes,
Not really...
I've got tons,
Of dildos. OOOH!
Dissing these two dynamic douchebags was elementary my dear Watson,
SONOFA-