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donathos
11-17-2011, 06:52 PM
Hello all! This is my first attempt at an original Epic Rap Battle -- I hope it doesn't suck too bad. :)

Ahem. Now then...

***

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

South Park

VERSUS

The Simpsons

BEGIN!


Kyle:
Holy crap, dude! The Simpsons are here!
There’s Homer, Marge, Lisa, and little boy queer
You folks should really stay down Springfield way
In Wherever-the-F*ck-it-is-You-Come-From, USA.

Cartman:
Like, seriously. You yellow douches blow.
You stopped being funny twenty long years ago
Tracey Ullman called, she wants royalties
But while you’re in South Park, respect my authority!


Marge:
You boys are just jealous we’ve had such success
Or maybe you’re peeking up my sexy green dress?
Must be frustrating, being 4th graders forever
Never even getting play from Wendy Testaburger

Lisa:
Take it easy, mom -- they’re not worth it
We’re television icons, they’re two-dimensional perverts
Their punchlines are cursewords, their style is played
So it’s no big surprise that they’re never getting laid


Stan:
Really? Jokes about virginity from you?
A spiky-haired moppet Bleeding Gums wouldn’t screw?
And poor Marge who shares a bed with fat Homer
Donuts have the only holes that can give him a boner

Kenny:
Mmmmm mmm mmm--

Stan:
--that’s right, you’re so weak
Kenny can out rap you and never even speak
We’re cutting edge satire, relevant and witty
While you’re like our only Chinese food place -- City


Homer:
Mmmm.... eggrolls.
Wait, what’s the deal here, why are we rapping?
Can’t we go home? I’d rather be napping.
South Park’s almost as annoying as Flanders
Just stupid fart jokes from kids with no manners

Bart:
You can say that again, Homer, and I should know
‘Cause they copied me four times to create their little show
But we’re the originals, always breaking new limits
While you weak-ass knock-offs just scream, “The Simpsons did it!”


Chef:
Tough talk from a boy being voiced by a chick
Forget Chef’s Balls, suck my Chocolate Salty Dick!


Krusty:
Hey Kids, look -- the Scientologist’s back
You only got cast the first time ‘cause you’re black!


Mr. Mackey:
Hey, let’s watch the bigoted rhetoric, m’kay?
You don’t see me talking about how Smithers is gay


Mr. Burns:
What’s he mean, Smithers?

Smithers:
I’m sure I don’t know.

Mr. Burns:
Excellent. Now have that Homer fellow rap more...

Homer:
D’oh!


Cartman:
What’s the point of that? He doesn’t have a prayer.
Instead of rapping he should sit in Timmy’s retard chair
South Park is beefcake! The rest are underwear gnomes
So screw all you guys, seriously, ‘cause I’m going home


Bart:
Like, don’t have a cow, you fat Millhouse b*tch
Itchy and Scratchy make Terrence and Phillip look like Lilo and Stitch
The Simpsons make all the green and win all the awards
While South Park’s only good for making teenagers bored


Stan:
I think that today we’ve learned a valuable lesson
You f*ck with South Park? You face Jimbo’s Smith & Wesson


Homer:
I’ve learned nothing as usual, I’m proud to say
And for twenty more years the Simpsons’ll keep it that way!

B.S.B
11-17-2011, 06:54 PM
Long...0_0

donathos
11-17-2011, 08:30 PM
Long...0_0

Too long? :(

LAWLzoR
11-17-2011, 08:42 PM
Long...0_0

Too long? :(

(Only on Forum Members vs. Others will I rap against you)

just a bit, it takes up half the page, but it's still a cool rap

ERBoH
11-17-2011, 11:04 PM
I liked it a lot, it was defiantly a little long though. But I think if it was a video it would be pretty amazing :p I really liked it though. One of the best ones I've seen in a while, I'm glad I read through it. I tried going back and looking to see what lines I would take out to make it shorter, but it really all fit together so well I couldn't think of anything that should be removed other than the last 2 lines (stan + homer) which I don't think were that great.

Some awesome lines that I really liked were:

You folks should really stay down Springfield way
In Wherever-the-F*ck-it-is-You-Come-From, USA.


Like, seriously. You yellow douches blow.
You stopped being funny twenty long years ago


Kenny:
Mmmmm mmm mmm--

Stan:
--that’s right, you’re so weak
Kenny can out rap you and never even speak
We’re cutting edge satire, relevant and witty
While you’re like our only Chinese food place -- City

The city line was really creative, I lol'ed at that so hard! :laugh:


South Park’s almost as annoying as Flanders
Just stupid fart jokes from kids with no manners


But we’re the originals, always breaking new limits
While you weak-ass knock-offs just scream, “The Simpsons did it!”


Tough talk from a boy being voiced by a chick
Forget Chef’s Balls, suck my Chocolate Salty Dick!


Like, don’t have a cow, you fat Millhouse b*tch
Itchy and Scratchy make Terrence and Phillip look like Lilo and Stitch

lol I quote like almost your entire battle, but it really is a great battle. Like I said, probably one of the best ones I've seen in a while ;) REALLY well done. Oh, and I think south park owned it.

donathos
11-18-2011, 02:38 AM
Long...0_0

Too long? :(

(Only on Forum Members vs. Others will I rap against you)

just a bit, it takes up half the page, but it's still a cool rap

Fair enough. Next time, I'll try to keep it short. I just really wanted to get as many South Park/Simpsons characters in as I could (there are so many great ones I had to leave out...)

BTW, no worries about our rap battle; of course it stays in that thread! Everywhere else, we're totally cool. :) For what it's worth, 1) I'm really enjoying that battle, and 2) actually, I'm a pretty big fan of FiM!

donathos
11-18-2011, 02:40 AM
I liked it a lot, it was defiantly a little long though. But I think if it was a video it would be pretty amazing :p I really liked it though. One of the best ones I've seen in a while, I'm glad I read through it. I tried going back and looking to see what lines I would take out to make it shorter, but it really all fit together so well I couldn't think of anything that should be removed other than the last 2 lines (stan + homer) which I don't think were that great.


Thanks very much! I really appreciate the feedback. And yeah, I agree that the last 2 lines aren't the best...

Since I'm new here, I'm playing catch-up reading a lot of peoples' old battles. I look forward to checking yours out and I'm sure we'll talk more later.

B.S.B
11-18-2011, 07:23 AM
You Can Still Make Them Long.
Just...lol.

HoscoFelix
11-28-2011, 03:12 PM
This may be a bit late, but I must say that this was the most EPIC FM ERBoH I've seen all day.
Kudos to you, sir!
I think the Simpsons won. And I liked the last lines :p