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View Full Version : Captain Kirk vs Christopher Columbus the Literal Review



Moonjik
02-24-2012, 05:27 PM
Columbus:
"Arrivederci, Imma leave before this battle begins,"
Show's over everybody-
"Cos we both know in the end which of these captains are gonna win,"
COLUMBUS YOU TROLL! Also, if you're so confident why don't you just leave for good?
"I'll show you how a real explorer handles a situation,"
Go Dora!
"I'll beat you so bad they'll feel it in the Next Generation,"
That's what she said.
"So bring it on, I'll whip you like a Klingon,"
And I'll whip you like you whipped them natives.
"My rhymes will burrow in your ears like the Wrath of Khan,"
YOUR BUNNY ASS ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF KHAN!
"I've got a neckchop for Spock and put my sword through Sulu,"
And I've got...a pen pocket.
"Check into a priceline hotel and watch your fat ass on Hulu,"
I;M ON TV? :omgrd:

"I'm the enterprising Captain James Tiberius Kirk,"
No shit.
"Representing Riverside Iowa, planet Earth,"
I'm from Earth too! Small world...
"I hear you call yourself an explorer but I'm just not having it,"
THEN GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN!
"You discovered a new world that was already inhabited,"
And I discovered some mints under my sofa which were already lying there.
"Why don't you boldly go some place you've never gone before like India,"
Well...because there were two massive continents standing in his way?
"Or any destination you actually set sail for,"
People were already living in those places as well.
"You spaghetti eating fuck, how's your spice rack doing?"
My spice-a rack is doing-a just-a fine.
"I'll be chilling in my spaceship, have fun canoeing,"
I will :)

"You know, rapping against you is not even fun?"
Getting dissed in all possible ways, ridiculed and put to shame is hardly fun.
"It's like somebody setting your brains on stun,"
Now that's an exaggeration. OMG EXAGGERATION IS LIKE THE LONGEST WORD EVEEEEEEEEEEER!
"I am the fabric of history; you are a fictional stain,"
LAWL is practically jumping at this line.
"I'll stick a flag up your ass and claim you for Spain!"
Must...refrain...from-THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

"Mister Spock, beam me back to 1492 so I can beat this man like it's my job,"
It IS your job.
"We'll see how Isabella likes my Captain's Log,"
Not as much as my Jedi's Journal!
"It's Kobayashi for you, there's no way you can win,"
Unless you suck. :P
"When your weak crew see me approaching they'll be like DAMNITT IT'S JIM!"
DAMNITT IT'S JIM!
"I'll double fist punch you slave making bitch,"
MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS BROKEN!
"Now, take your genocidal ass off of my bridge,"
I SAID GLASS OF JUICE NOT GAS THE JEWS!

ERBoH
02-24-2012, 05:52 PM
"I'm on TV :omgrd: "
:laugh:

Moonjik
02-24-2012, 06:16 PM
"I'm on TV :omgrd: "
:laugh:
XD

Epic Doctor X
02-25-2012, 03:17 AM
I SAID GLASS OF JUICE NOT GAS THE JEWS!

Thatīs the most randomly funniest thing iīve heard today

YellowNerd
02-25-2012, 10:36 AM
"I am the fabric of history; you are a fictional stain,"
LAWL is practically jumping at this line.




Hahaha , true that!

LAWLzoR
02-25-2012, 05:04 PM
"I am the fabric of history; you are a fictional stain,"
LAWL is practically jumping at this line.




Hahaha , true that!
:rd: wut?

Prince
02-25-2012, 11:09 PM
haha DAMMIT ITS JIM