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View Full Version : Zoroark's Dis Raps for Hire Ep. 17--ASHLEY



ZoroarkPKMN
01-29-2013, 07:19 PM
*Zoroark wakes up in a hospital*

Zoroark: Huh? Where am I?

*The Tenth Doctor walks into the room*

Doctor: You passed out this morning in your house. Thank god we found you.

Zoroark: Why would I pass out?

Doctor: Apparently you read something online about...

*The Doctor takes a look at his clipboard*

Doctor: ...Disney making the next three Star Wars films?

*Zoroark passes out*

*Zoroark wakes up hours later*

Zoroark: Huh? What happened?

Doctor: Disney's making the next three Star Wars movies, don't pass out.

Zoroark: Hm. I can't even recall passing out.

*The Doctor hands Zoroark a piece of paper*

Doctor: Here is your bill.

Zoroark: Shit, I hate bills. How much money do I--HUH?!


Dear ZoroarkPKMN,
There's a guy, my age, who is obsessed with pushing me around. His name is Ashley, he full-out bullies me, knees me in the bollocks, punches me hard repeatedly, and as I think the repulsive shit takes pity on me while I'm crying, he just repeats? the same treatment again. I try to laugh it off sometimes, so that he doesn't think I'm scared of him - it doesn't work. When he is around his friends he attacks me ten times worse just to show off. I'm just his little punching bag
Slam him!!

Zoroark: Grr...stupid...bullying...PUNKS!! GRAAARRRRGHHH!!

[attachment=0:2944kh0h]DRFH17.png[/attachment:2944kh0h]

[spoiler:2944kh0h](Hahahaha! Here we go! One, two, three)
I ask the questions round here
So bring out the fear!
Nobody leaves without a dissing, do I make myself clear?
Yeah, all you little homos without mojo, one day you'll be hobos
You know no respect for Redemption, it's no more
He's got BALLS, Red! He'd probably kick yo ass too
But in a more classy way he asked me to diss you
So lemme begin with a story 'bout a girl named Ashley
Actually, he's a dude but has no sort of masulinity
Punches Red repeatedly, loses brain cells easily
But cheaply I freak these two or three beat genes
Yeah, Ash's got friends, but not Brock or Cilan
This guy's hand plans destruction towards Red the man
But he's gotta be strong! Redemption's not just a name!
So Ashley don't hate the player, fucking hate the game!
And Red knows it's true, so I just say fuck you
Ashley's your age and he doesn't know respect to lose
He full-out bullies him, this shit is a sin
Bitches be talking shit but who listens to them?
I'm pretty sure bollocks means dick, so you gotta fight back!
And if that bitch starts crying, then you on the right track
Hit quick, and serve redemption to the bitch!
Hear the sound of a click, and break his fucking ribs!
I bet he punches hard too, well hit double the pain
No strain just playin' tough games that he made
Repulsive shit take pity on the motherfucker, fuck that!
You messed with the wrong forumer in fact!
Listen Doctor Ashley, this shit is malpractice
Same treatment again and again, he'll kick your asses
So Red, laugh it off, make Ash bleed when he coughs
Don't be scared of the ass just beat like a boss
I don't work, though do it? Shit.
So either kick the dick's ass or call an adult when he quits
He attacks 10 times harder when his buddies are present
You represent guessin' but I'm sure Red ain't testin'
So wreck some shit, get the best of it
Teacher lies and lies, says she'll try to handle this
But they don't, so make them! Fake and take them!
A show off, jack-off, mo'fo' where hell ends!
This douchebag, dickbag's little punching bag
So that's the end of this rap, crap, THAT'S A WRAP!
(Ha!)[/spoiler:2944kh0h]

Froggy
01-29-2013, 07:25 PM
Woah, that was so ill!! I love it. :D Can't wait till Redemption sees this.

Uprising
01-29-2013, 07:47 PM
Holy awesome sauces.

Intellectual
02-01-2013, 07:23 PM
This is my first time I've left a Dis Raps suggestion, I'm afraid it might be too long. :|
[spoiler:2zuzb18r]Dear Zoroark,

I'm an 8th grade student in Middle School, I'm known to many as a genuinely nice person, and I'm incredibly smart. I know how to deal with people who are bullies, but this person... She's the embodiment of all things irritating. I'm so irritated at her, I might slap her across the face if I see her insulting little 6th grader Trevor again...

Alaysia is 14, puts her hair in around 8 braids, has ear piercings, and is black. She's a basketball player, and is around 6 feet tall, the tallest student in the school to my knowledge. She has a GPA of 2.2 as of 1st semester, and barely missed an U citizenship grade, the worst citizenship grade you can get. In most of her classes, she receives a Needs Improvement.

Anyway, now to what she actually does that is irritating, not that those bad grades aren't annoying enough. She has way too big of an ego, throws paper palls and pens at the other smart boys in the class, and also insults them. She's a bully by heart, to show that, even though she's gone to too many lunch detentions to count, she still hasn't stopped bullying these kids. She has 3 main friends, Lindsey, Alley, and Mckenzie(They all rhyme...funny) who join her in this behavior. Alley is considerably nicer than the others, she doesn't insult anyone, but she doesn't protest either. Alaysia seems to like me in a romantic way, which absolutely disgusts me. I still haven't told her that I was the one who told the principal about her bullying behavior. Our school also has a dress code, which she breaks almost every day with a pair of the shortest shorts imaginable, it's like she wants to break the rules.

Please dis this girl to hell.[/spoiler:2zuzb18r]

sane
02-01-2013, 07:25 PM
Amazing dude! Thanks!

ZoroarkPKMN
02-04-2013, 05:24 PM
COMING SOON.

DIS RAPS FOR HIRE EIGHTEEN: ALAYSIA. ALLEY. LINDSEY. MCKENZIE.

Froggy
02-04-2013, 08:03 PM
COMING SOON.

DIS RAPS FOR HIRE EIGHTEEN: ALAYSIA. ALLEY. LINDSEY. MCKENZIE.
Is mine after that?

ZoroarkPKMN
02-04-2013, 08:13 PM
COMING SOON.

DIS RAPS FOR HIRE EIGHTEEN: ALAYSIA. ALLEY. LINDSEY. MCKENZIE.
Is mine after that?

What was yours again?

Froggy
02-04-2013, 08:17 PM
COMING SOON.

DIS RAPS FOR HIRE EIGHTEEN: ALAYSIA. ALLEY. LINDSEY. MCKENZIE.
Is mine after that?

What was yours again?
*searches through shitloads of PMS* AH-ha! here we go:

Hey, Zoroark!
Could you dis this a**hole in my life? His name is Dylan. He is filthy rich, even though he denies it. He's OBSESSED with planes for no reason and always calls me "Emo". He gets everything he wants and is always making fun of me and my friend, David. He has a unibrow, and shaves it every month (I'm not even kidding haha) and Gels his hair up. He speed-walks throughout school and is bragging all the TIME. Nobody even likes him, yet he acts as if he's better. I'm sick of him thinking he's better than me and David.

Could you dis him out for me?

ZoroarkPKMN
02-04-2013, 08:44 PM
COMING SOON.

DIS RAPS FOR HIRE EIGHTEEN: ALAYSIA. ALLEY. LINDSEY. MCKENZIE.
Is mine after that?

What was yours again?
*searches through shitloads of PMS* AH-ha! here we go:

Hey, Zoroark!
Could you dis this a**hole in my life? His name is Dylan. He is filthy rich, even though he denies it. He's OBSESSED with planes for no reason and always calls me "Emo". He gets everything he wants and is always making fun of me and my friend, David. He has a unibrow, and shaves it every month (I'm not even kidding haha) and Gels his hair up. He speed-walks throughout school and is bragging all the TIME. Nobody even likes him, yet he acts as if he's better. I'm sick of him thinking he's better than me and David.

Could you dis him out for me?

Nineteen. ;)

ZoroarkPKMN
02-09-2013, 01:17 PM
Alright, I need a new DRFH request. I need to get the last three of Season 1 in.

Intellectual
02-20-2013, 02:15 PM
Are you working on mine? No rush, just want to know. :)

ZoroarkPKMN
02-20-2013, 04:31 PM
Are you working on mine? No rush, just want to know. :)

Well, the way I wanted to do yours was having a four-way dis rap against Alaysia, Alley, Lindsey, and Mckenzie. The problem is it's not working out the way I think I want it to work out. I've written about 5 drafts, currently writing the sixth. I'll put a little sneak peek of what I've written that I kinda like and am trying to include in the final draft. But I might hold off on releasing this one and do another suggestion instead, then come back to this one. Trust me, when I get it to perfection, it will blow you away.
[spoiler:1f42ob8c]???????? it's written in Scripture
You don't get good grades, so let me paint a picture:
She (scratches at the door when the telephone rings)?
It's not a mystery, well dumb bitches like dumb things
Trevor's cryin' in fear when Alaysia comes out of her shell
And beats that little 6th grade kid back to hell
I've been in this position and it ain't the best, Intellect
But you want Inty in yo pants 'cause your clothes are underdressed[/spoiler:1f42ob8c]

These are the best lines, but I dunno. The "scratches at the door" line is a bit hot and cold for me. I haven't decided on what to say before "it's written in Scripture". I like the phrase, and I was going with "Love is patient bitch, 'cause it's written in Scripture". But I dunno. How do you like it?


My Dis Request
[spoiler:1f42ob8c]Dear Zoroark
Please diss my friend
His name is aaron and he is in 6th grade (same as me)
He got his pretty little blonde girlfriend who LOVES cats (Her name is madison)
Aaron keeps calling me a Fag and Gay and Ugly Stupid Forever alone and stuff like that
IT fucking annoys me
Also
Aaron is also hating on my friends
Nelson Ryan and Manny
Aaron is the next suspect on a Dis Rap
DISS HIM[/spoiler:1f42ob8c]
On it.

Intellectual
02-20-2013, 05:19 PM
Are you working on mine? No rush, just want to know. :)

Well, the way I wanted to do yours was having a four-way dis rap against Alaysia, Alley, Lindsey, and Mckenzie. The problem is it's not working out the way I think I want it to work out. I've written about 5 drafts, currently writing the sixth. I'll put a little sneak peek of what I've written that I kinda like and am trying to include in the final draft. But I might hold off on releasing this one and do another suggestion instead, then come back to this one. Trust me, when I get it to perfection, it will blow you away.
[spoiler:lzpyt6lw]???????? it's written in Scripture
You don't get good grades, so let me paint a picture:
She (scratches at the door when the telephone rings)?
It's not a mystery, well dumb bitches like dumb things
Trevor's cryin' in fear when Alaysia comes out of her shell
And beats that little 6th grade kid back to hell
I've been in this position and it ain't the best, Intellect
But you want Inty in yo pants 'cause your clothes are underdressed[/spoiler:lzpyt6lw]

These are the best lines, but I dunno. The "scratches at the door" line is a bit hot and cold for me. I haven't decided on what to say before "it's written in Scripture". I like the phrase, and I was going with "Love is patient b***h, 'cause it's written in Scripture". But I dunno. How do you like it?


My Dis Request
[spoiler:lzpyt6lw]Dear Zoroark
Please diss my friend
His name is aaron and he is in 6th grade (same as me)
He got his pretty little blonde girlfriend who LOVES cats (Her name is madison)
Aaron keeps calling me a Fag and Gay and Ugly Stupid Forever alone and stuff like that
IT fucking annoys me
Also
Aaron is also hating on my friends
Nelson Ryan and Manny
Aaron is the next suspect on a Dis Rap
DISS HIM[/spoiler:lzpyt6lw]
On it.
I like it! Although I don't get how the two lines about Trevor are insults, aside from the shell part. Trevor's a 12-year-old kid, nice, smart, and my friend, but Alaysia bullies him all the time.

ZoroarkPKMN
02-20-2013, 05:20 PM
Are you working on mine? No rush, just want to know. :)

Well, the way I wanted to do yours was having a four-way dis rap against Alaysia, Alley, Lindsey, and Mckenzie. The problem is it's not working out the way I think I want it to work out. I've written about 5 drafts, currently writing the sixth. I'll put a little sneak peek of what I've written that I kinda like and am trying to include in the final draft. But I might hold off on releasing this one and do another suggestion instead, then come back to this one. Trust me, when I get it to perfection, it will blow you away.
[spoiler:8ui02r1z]???????? it's written in Scripture
You don't get good grades, so let me paint a picture:
She (scratches at the door when the telephone rings)?
It's not a mystery, well dumb bitches like dumb things
Trevor's cryin' in fear when Alaysia comes out of her shell
And beats that little 6th grade kid back to hell
I've been in this position and it ain't the best, Intellect
But you want Inty in yo pants 'cause your clothes are underdressed[/spoiler:8ui02r1z]

These are the best lines, but I dunno. The "scratches at the door" line is a bit hot and cold for me. I haven't decided on what to say before "it's written in Scripture". I like the phrase, and I was going with "Love is patient b***h, 'cause it's written in Scripture". But I dunno. How do you like it?


My Dis Request
[spoiler:8ui02r1z]Dear Zoroark
Please diss my friend
His name is aaron and he is in 6th grade (same as me)
He got his pretty little blonde girlfriend who LOVES cats (Her name is madison)
Aaron keeps calling me a Fag and Gay and Ugly Stupid Forever alone and stuff like that
IT fucking annoys me
Also
Aaron is also hating on my friends
Nelson Ryan and Manny
Aaron is the next suspect on a Dis Rap
DISS HIM[/spoiler:8ui02r1z]
On it.
I like it! Although I don't get how the two lines about Trevor are insults, aside from the shell part. Trevor's a 12-year-old kid, nice, smart, and my friend, but Alaysia bullies him all the time.

Well I kinda mention Trevor, and then it's supposed to go along with the "I've been in this position" line. But I'm glad you like it!

Intellectual
02-20-2013, 05:50 PM
Are you working on mine? No rush, just want to know. :)

Well, the way I wanted to do yours was having a four-way dis rap against Alaysia, Alley, Lindsey, and Mckenzie. The problem is it's not working out the way I think I want it to work out. I've written about 5 drafts, currently writing the sixth. I'll put a little sneak peek of what I've written that I kinda like and am trying to include in the final draft. But I might hold off on releasing this one and do another suggestion instead, then come back to this one. Trust me, when I get it to perfection, it will blow you away.
[spoiler:1hpybvzt]???????? it's written in Scripture
You don't get good grades, so let me paint a picture:
She (scratches at the door when the telephone rings)?
It's not a mystery, well dumb bitches like dumb things
Trevor's cryin' in fear when Alaysia comes out of her shell
And beats that little 6th grade kid back to hell
I've been in this position and it ain't the best, Intellect
But you want Inty in yo pants 'cause your clothes are underdressed[/spoiler:1hpybvzt]

These are the best lines, but I dunno. The "scratches at the door" line is a bit hot and cold for me. I haven't decided on what to say before "it's written in Scripture". I like the phrase, and I was going with "Love is patient b***h, 'cause it's written in Scripture". But I dunno. How do you like it?


My Dis Request
[spoiler:1hpybvzt]Dear Zoroark
Please diss my friend
His name is aaron and he is in 6th grade (same as me)
He got his pretty little blonde girlfriend who LOVES cats (Her name is madison)
Aaron keeps calling me a Fag and Gay and Ugly Stupid Forever alone and stuff like that
IT fucking annoys me
Also
Aaron is also hating on my friends
Nelson Ryan and Manny
Aaron is the next suspect on a Dis Rap
DISS HIM[/spoiler:1hpybvzt]
On it.
I like it! Although I don't get how the two lines about Trevor are insults, aside from the shell part. Trevor's a 12-year-old kid, nice, smart, and my friend, but Alaysia bullies him all the time.

Well I kinda mention Trevor, and then it's supposed to go along with the "I've been in this position" line. But I'm glad you like it!
Now I get it, it looks good! :)