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ZoroarkPKMN
03-26-2013, 08:38 PM
I will post the lyrics and video, and then basically talk about the pros and cons about each.

First, the lyrics:
[spoiler:371fg7vt]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

BABE RUTH
VERSUS
LANCE ARMSTRONG
BEGIN...

Armstrong:
Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression
I'll let you be the second fat woman hearing my confession
I admit it, I did what I had to do to win
I'm an athlete, you're a specimen to sin
With your drinking and smoking and choking down food
I know French dudes with better manners than you
So swing batter batter, show me what a fatter rapper can do
I beat cancer, I can sure as hell crack you

Ruth:
You lived strong, beat cancer, congratulations!
Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation
Third base with an Olsen twin, that's the sin, face it
She's just a little girl, what'd you give her a bracelet?
Whole nation knows you ride too tight in the crotch
You're as boring as your Tour de France is to watch
So come on, little buddy, don't look so pissed
With all the blood and attitude, you're like a menstrual cyclist

Armstrong:
You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?
That's like having a pasta contest without Italy
You're an orphan who found his way to fortune and fame
Just think what you could've done if you would've actually trained
I'm the pinnacle of physical condition while you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it foul tippin'
Are you trippin'?
You'll be nothing but a skeleton
Messin with a fellow in yellow who will be peddling like hell up in the peleton

Ruth:
It's the bottom of the ninth against a Texan in a bathing suit
Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth
It may be way too soon but I'm calling my shot
And I'm not talkin' about those Italian syringes you brought
The Sultan of Swat will knock you right outta the park
And round the bases to the sound of up-roaring applause
While you hang your head in shame and disgrace because
You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was
You look tired kid, you got Sheryl's crows feet eyes
Pedal home to France and maybe bring me back some fries
Cause if you step to Ruth in the mic I'll fan your fancy bike and all
Yerr out, with three strikes and just one ball

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC RAP BATTLES *clap, clap, clapclapclap* OF HISTORY!![/spoiler:371fg7vt]

Video:
[spoiler:371fg7vt][youtube:371fg7vt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtO-6Xg3g2M[/youtube:371fg7vt][/spoiler:371fg7vt]

The Beat:
The beat sounds like something you would hear on ESPN or some sports network. So that kinda fits in with the whole theme of the battle, which is "sports". So personally for me the beat really fits the battle, and I think that's important.
8.5/10

Impersonations:
I think Pete's impersonation of Lance Armstrong was a little off. For starters, he should've had more of a Texan accent, which is pretty basic. But I'll go easy on him since it was his big comeback to the battle. Lloyd's impersonation of Ruth was almost spot on. I'm pretty sure Babe Ruth actually sounded like that. Great job, guys!
8/10

Costumes:
Lance Armstrong's costume was pretty much a real-life cyclist clothing. I also like how they added the words "Epic Rap Battles of History" on the right side, kinda like what they did with Billy Mays and Vince Offer. Babe Ruth's costume looked pretty good. I think Lloyd needed to be a bit taller, but what're you gonna do? The face looks like him. Also, if you play close attention, when Babe Ruth stretches his arm the shirt has a sort of tight feel to him, which really brings out how the baseball uniforms have really changed.
9/10

Announcer:
Perfect. I also like how they had the end ERB shouting be like the "Let's go _____, let's go, *clapclapclap*"
9.5/10

Verse 1--"Specimen to Sin"
Lance Armstrong comes in with a suit, and I think that's pretty inventive how he rips it off. Kind of a nod to the Oprah interview. I also like the dancing Armstrongs on the bike. That was a great part. As for lyrics, very epic. Peter begins the battle hard and dignified. Great work.
9/10

Verse 2--"Third Base with an Olsen Twin"
Compared to his other verse, Babe Ruth seems kinda chill in this one, and I think that really seperates the two verses to a point where the second Ruth verse is a bit showing off. The lines were good, especially the "menstrual cyclist" part. Babe definitely has some sick dance moves and choreography during the battle as well. Lloyd makes a great Ruth.
8.9/10

Verse 3--"Dip Your Stick"
This verse contains one of my top 5 favorite lines in ERB, so it's an instant loving by me. The pasta contest line is also pretty hilarious. Peter delivers such a great flow during this verse I'm inarticulate.
9.7/10

Verse 4--"Real Sportsmanship"
Babe Ruth comes in soft, but builds his glory up to a part where even Lance Armstrong is scared of him. I love the double-tracking that comes when Babe is yelling. For some reason I like the ERB lines with double-tracking the most. Just a fetish, I guess. And Babe references Lance's one nut very smoothly. I like this.
9/10

So in conclusion, I think the winner is...
Babe Ruth
Lance was very close for me. The only reason I think Babe won is because of that damn second verse of his. Great job, Lloyd. You were good.
And the battle from a scale of 0 to 100 is...
95.62/100
One of my favorites from the season. You are yet to disappoint me the season, guys. Keep it up!

Lohuydahutt
03-26-2013, 08:44 PM
Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD

ZoroarkPKMN
03-26-2013, 08:45 PM
Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD

Yes, but Babe Ruth still wins. I liked Lance's verses a lot, but Babe still won. His winning is inevitable.

Lohuydahutt
03-26-2013, 08:47 PM
Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD

Yes, but Babe Ruth still wins. I liked Lance's verses a lot, but Babe still won. His winning is inevitable.
You ranked Lance's SECOND VERSE higher than Ruth's and Ruth still got the win. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE? XD

ZoroarkPKMN
03-27-2013, 05:06 AM
Umm... If your giving Ruth the win even though you ranked Lances verses higher BOTH TIMES? XD

Yes, but Babe Ruth still wins. I liked Lance's verses a lot, but Babe still won. His winning is inevitable.
You ranked Lance's SECOND VERSE higher than Ruth's and Ruth still got the win. WHAT AM I MISSING HERE? XD

I also liked Babe better in costumes and impressions.

I Da Cash Man
03-27-2013, 12:40 PM
Lovin' the review. Double-tracking lines feel more epic as it gives a very slight illusion of more than one person. I didn't notice the ERB logo on Armstrong's costume, I must've missed it. I think I myself have messed up on my review with the beat. You're probably right that it sounds like something on ESPN. The only thing I'd really like to argue about this review with you is that...Lloyd's face was good? Personally I believe the make-up could've gone a lot farther.

JanetAbruzzi
04-01-2013, 06:34 AM
I think Babe in costume rocks than in other avatar.

GonadTheNomad
04-02-2013, 04:42 PM
Double-tracking, that's what it's called, thanks.

I like those lines the best, too. It gives you an idea of just how boss that character is.

ZoroarkPKMN
04-05-2013, 09:02 AM
Lyrics:
[spoiler:1zn2q7x9]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

THOMAS EDISON
VERSUS
NIKOLA TESLA
BEGIN...

Edison:
Step up, you'll be shocked when I spit and start static
I'll rip your style and add it to my long list of patents
While you were busy digging ditches and burning bridges
I'm pumping out inventions, stacking riches, so go back to your pigeons
You're a geek, plagued by OCD
You never had sex but you sure got screwed by me
I'll crush you Tesla, there's just no putting it gently
I don't alternate my flows, I diss you directly

Tesla:
I see a universe of infinite energy
But no potential for threat from this enemy
So you can call me Tesla, Nikola, impeccably dressed
Giving lessons in electrical nemesis, this will be on the test
So confess to your thefts and let the whole world know
What the Serbian did for the Wizard of Menlo
History is getting rewritten and I have reddit
Your best invention was a way to steal credit

Edison:
The truth hertz, you're broke and washed up
Don't give a smidgen 'bout your visions if they can't make a buck
I conduct business, understood things you never could
So dope that I even make New Jersey look good
I'm on the record I invented, you got duped, there I said it
I bet you fifty thousand dollars that you'll never forget it
Without me, here's a taste of what this battle would be
No lights, no camera, no sound, see?

Tesla:
You fool, you think that you can touch me with this?
You couldn't handle my gifts with your greedy little mind
What's inside mine was ahead of its own time
You did not steal from me, you stole me from mankind!
It's a wireless transmission of truth
And it's the shocking real story of a banker and you
And if the people knew you stopped me from making power free
They would curse the con Edison with every utility

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!

EEEE-EEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY![/spoiler:1zn2q7x9]

Video:
[spoiler:1zn2q7x9][youtube:1zn2q7x9]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ1Mz7kGVf0[/youtube:1zn2q7x9][/spoiler:1zn2q7x9]

The Beat:
As always with the ERBs, the beat sorta matches the characters in some way or another. Because of Edison and Tesla's advancements in electricity, technology, and power, this beat is techno, with the occasional sounds of sparks or electrocutions. It fits the characters very well and is the perfect beat for this battle.
9/10

Impersonations:
I would've pictured Edison having more of a grumpy Bill Gates voice, but when I heard this it felt a little right. For some reason with this impersonation Lloyd seems grumpier, Jersian, and egotistical, just like Edison himself. I'm comparing the Tesla voice with a short film I watched on him, and the voice is great. Peter did an excellent job voicing Tesla and Dante was a great actor as him in the video. Great work, guys!
8.9/10

Costumes:
Tesla was wearing a vest, and I think that's all that matters. His mustache could've been bigger, though. It felt like it was too short. But I dunno. That's just me. Edison's costume was pretty good. It looked dusty, old, and nerdy all at the same time. These are some of the best ERB costumes I've seen in a while.
9.8/10

Announcer:
Peter is and always has been a great ERB announcer. That will never change. The end part was also interesting, how the announcer was getting electrocuted. Very well arranged, ERB crew. Very well arranged.
9/10

Verse 1--"Alternate My Flows"
Edison comes strong in this verse. I think the lyrics really depict how Edison was a rich businessman and very successful while Tesla was poor, penniless, and not appreciated. The line that referenced Alternating and Direct currents also caught me, too. Edison was great in this verse, but can he match up to Tesla?
8.5/10

Verse 2--"Impeccably Dressed"
Tesla definitely destroys Edison in this verse. He really makes great disses about how Edison cheated Tesla out of his inventions and he demands goddamn appreciation for it. I also like the reference to Reddit, which was placed in there very cleverly. Dante and Peter are a great rap pair.
8.9/10

Verse 3--"The Truth Hertz"
The opening line of this verse straight-away references Heinrich Hertz, another inventor of the late 1800s. In this verse, Edison admits to stealing from Tesla but then comes right back with saying that if he didn't, this world wouldn't have existed. The verse really shows how much of an influence Edison was in his time, but what cruel things he had to do to be that influence. He also electrocutes a dog, and that made me sad.
9/10

Verse 4--"Wireless Transmission of Truth"
Tesla goes fucking apeshit on Edison. He's creating lightning and orbs from his fucking hands (with a little reference to 3 in there) and creates light from a lightbulb with no source of power. How does he do that? This verse proves that Tesla did not get what he deserved and his superhuman abilities should be appreciated throughout mankind! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
9.5/10

So in conclusion, the winner of this battle is...
Nikola Tesla
If you honestly think that Edison won you either didn't pay attention to Tesla's verses or simply just didn't know who he was. Peter and Dante crushed Lloyd (sorry Lloyd) as Tesla, and the mad scientist finally won after losing in reality.
And the battle on a scale from 0 to 100 is...
95.99/100
This battle has been waited for by many forumers for a long time, and we got what we wanted. Great job, ERB crew! You were great!

ZoroarkPKMN
04-08-2013, 04:29 PM
Lyrics:
[spoiler:1rqx21m8]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!

SKRILLEX
VERSUS
MOZART
BEGIN...

Skrillex:
My name is Skrillex, man, welcome to the devil's den
I'm a scary monster, stomping this sprite in frilly pants
You're a weirdo Wolfie, you're into powdered wigs and poop
And your cousin blew notes on your little magic flute
Your daddy issues make the Jackson 5 look like the family circus
You might have been a genius but you died baroque and worthless
I'm rich, acclaimed, and famous, I'm on playlists, I'm the A-list
You're the lamest, kiss my ass, A-a-a-a-amadeus

Mozart:
Was that a verse or did you just get the hiccups?
I'm a prodigy sonny and I'm about to smack a bitch up
My music is two hundred years old and it's still excellent
In two more months the world will forget about your skrill-excrement
I can't believe the way you dress when you dubstep out of the house
You're like an emo Steve Urkel and you, oo, reek of dead mouse
I am the world's greatest composer, no one knows what you are
Except a lonely little troll who knows how to press a spacebar

Skrillex:
I attack, you decay, can't sustain my releases
Sidechain Wolfgang, bangarang you to pieces
I'm a self made man, you're a slave to your papa
I'm a r-r-rock star, mix you with the bass and drop ya
Global, my strobes glow like Chernobyl
Kids explode and get mobile, no one even knows you
I make the whole world move, you play community theater
I gained your same fame from home on a blown-out speaker

Mozart:
Oh yes I've heard that EP and see I'm transcribed it here
Tell me what comes after the sixty-eighth measure of diarrhea?
What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this? I have no idea!
I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA
You go piano, to fortississimo!
That means soft to very very loud 'cause I'm guessing that you didn't know!
Why don't you put down your cubase and pick up a real bow?
I rocked harder than you when I was five years old!

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC RAP (EPIC RAP)
BA-BA-BA-BA-BATTLES
*dubstep*
OF HISTORY!
(HISTORY, HISTORY)[/spoiler:1rqx21m8]

Video:
[spoiler:1rqx21m8][youtube:1rqx21m8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6Au0xCg3PI[/youtube:1rqx21m8][/spoiler:1rqx21m8]


The Beat:
What can be said about this battle's beat that hasn't already been said? A classical sonata-style beat mixed with tons and tons of dubstep. The classical part really makes me happy and I'm always rooting for Mozart at that point, but then when they drop the bass during Skrillex's verse, WOW! I get pumped up! It's good to have a beat that can make you feel calm one second, excited the next.
9.7/10

Impersonations:
I've never really seen any interviews with Skrillex, let alone hear him talk, so the voice for Skrillex is not really disappointing to me since I don't know what the guy sounds like. Lemme look up an interview with Skrillex for a second..........he sounds A LOT like Jonah Hill, so Lloyd is pretty good on the voice for Skrillex. He's also active and his head in face down while he's at the Mac, so he kinda acts like him as well. As for Peter, well, I can't say ANYTHING on the voice because, and I don't know about you guys, but I've never met Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But I do know one thing about him...HE'S LOUD AS FUCK. And Peter screams so much in this battle while rapping that it really fits the character.
9/10

Costumes:
Skrillex had an accurate costume, as did Mozart. Mozart's came off as a bit more stylish compared to Skrillex's. Skrillex's costume should've been that casual black long-sleeved t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, but I'm not complaining. And Mozart could've had the famous red outfit. Overall, great costumes, but next time try to stick more with what the character is iconic for wearing.
8/10

Announcer:
I don't know what happens to the announcer at the end, but Skrillex fucked him up with dubstep. Somehow. Pete delivers a strong yelling and anger to the announcer this time, and really shows off his skills in, ahem, yelling in this battle.
9/10

Verse 1--"A-A-A-A-Amadeus"
Skrillex is hard in this verse. He rhymes a lot about his success and Mozart's poor childhood. Aand let's give a round of applause for ERB's FOURTH Michael Jackson reference in the line "Your daddy issues make the Jackson 5 look like a family circus". Four times, wow! It feels like just yesterday Lady Gaga was saying "with a more dysfunctional family since the Jackson fucking 5". Ah, good times. Anyways, Skrillex was good.
8.9/10

Verse 2--"Reek of Dead Mouse"
Two...er...THREE words: Dead. Mouse. Reference. I'm not a big dubsteppy kinda guy. I prefer the shit the ERB crew makes, the Beatles, Linkin Park, etc, but not dubstep. However, I got this reference right away. Mozart is truly the world's greatest composer, and god dammit does he show it in this verse. The ERB crew gets a cookie.
9.4/10

Verse 3--"With the Bass and Drop Ya"
My friend, who loves Dubstep, likes to always say "D-d-d-d-d-drop the bass", and so obviously a "drop the bass" reference made me laugh. Skrillex's double tracking really goes KABOOM on Mozart, and this verse was the sole reason why I needed to see the video to decide who won. You'll find out my answer to that question later but as of now, I just wanna say that this verse ROCKED.
9.4/10

Verse 4--"Piano to Fortississimo"
Lines in this verse stretch from mocking complexity to mocking smarts to mocking talent to mocking style. Mozart compares the complexity of dubstep to an IKEA couch (which is, as I'm guessing, easy to assemble), Skrillex's smarts by saying he doesn't know what piano and fortississimo mean, mocks talent by saying Mozart rocked harder at a young age, and mocks style by making fun of Skrillex's music, calling it diarrhea. Mozart DESTROYS Skrillex. Like, BOSS. Boom. YEAH. FUCK YEAH.
9.8/10

So, finally, the winner I have chosen for this battle is...
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
You came close, Skrillex, you really did. But there's two reasons why Mozart won: 1) He's fucking Mozart, 2) He just owned you in the vid with the cello and shit. You got served, Skrillex. Up the FUCKING ASSHOLE WITH DAT SHIT.
And the battle on a scale of 0 to 100 is...
96.00/100
The battle has been hinted at since around when Jobs vs Gates came out, same with Tesla vs Edison. We've just been waiting for it for a while and we've been even more waiting for it since Moses vs Santa Claus. Great job, ERB crew, you've outdone yourselves. But let's just see what battle you're finishing off the season with. ;)

BBC7
04-09-2013, 06:21 PM
Actually, from what I heard, IKEA couches are a pain to assemble. Heck, anything from IKEA is a pain to assemble from what I heard. But other then that, good review!

You reviewed practically everything there is to review and with great detail as well. I like this review.

Edgeheaded
04-10-2013, 09:56 AM
Pretty awesome review,continue making these I am impressed.

Edgeheaded
04-10-2013, 10:05 AM
Doesn't make sense...you say you gave Ruth the win because of his second line yet you still gave Lance 0.7 points over him,that basically means you liked Lance's better,not even gonna mention the 1st verses,sorry but this just doesn't make sense.

sane
04-10-2013, 10:19 AM
Oh my god. He says Lance had better disses and lines, but he feels Ruth won because he thought he was a great rapper. He says Armstrong would win the mainstream vote, but he likes Ruth more.

Ashihara12
04-17-2013, 03:26 AM
This was a very great review. You were very spot-on with the details and your reactions made me laugh, also, I agree with almost everything you said but as the person above me said, the line ''I've seen more complexity at a couch from IKEA'', means that even an IKEA couch is more complex than Skrillex' music because it's so simple. IKEA furniture are famous for their complicated manuals and set-up.

Still, a very good review. I look forward to seeing your review for the next battle. ;)

Epic Doctor X
04-17-2013, 09:30 AM
This was a very great review. You were very spot-on with the details and your reactions made me laugh, also, I agree with almost everything you said but as the person above me said, the line ''I've seen more complexity at a couch from IKEA'', means that even an IKEA couch is more complex than Skrillex' music because it's so simple. IKEA furniture are famous for their complicated manuals and set-up.

Still, a very good review. I look forward to seeing your review for the next battle. ;)

Agreed. I'm swedish, so I know.

Mozart is not mocking IKEA, he's simply telling Skrillex that even a couch assembling manual is more complicated than his music. That's understandable, because Mozart wrote advanced sheets for full orchestras. I think that they chose IKEA because it's a very well known trademark, and as an empty line filler. I don't have any problems with that though, because I liked it.

Also, I think they chose this Skrillex (http://fanart.tv/fanart/music/ae002c5d-aac6-490b-a39a-30aa9e2edf2b/artistbackground/skrillex-4f1cafd74a446.jpg) because it's more iconic than a black long-sleeved tee with sleeves rolled up.. But I don't know :/

Anyway, great review ;)

Lancer
04-17-2013, 11:31 AM
This was a very great review. You were very spot-on with the details and your reactions made me laugh, also, I agree with almost everything you said but as the person above me said, the line ''I've seen more complexity at a couch from IKEA'', means that even an IKEA couch is more complex than Skrillex' music because it's so simple. IKEA furniture are famous for their complicated manuals and set-up.

Still, a very good review. I look forward to seeing your review for the next battle. ;)

Actually, I always saw it commenting on the couch itself, not the set-up. Google "IKEA couch" and all you'll find are monochrome rectangular couches. All extremely simple couches.

Epic Doctor X
04-17-2013, 01:28 PM
This was a very great review. You were very spot-on with the details and your reactions made me laugh, also, I agree with almost everything you said but as the person above me said, the line ''I've seen more complexity at a couch from IKEA'', means that even an IKEA couch is more complex than Skrillex' music because it's so simple. IKEA furniture are famous for their complicated manuals and set-up.

Still, a very good review. I look forward to seeing your review for the next battle. ;)

Actually, I always saw it commenting on the couch itself, not the set-up. Google "IKEA couch" and all you'll find are monochrome rectangular couches. All extremely simple couches.

Well, the couches look simple, but you have to go through hell to assemble them, which makes them complex, even if they look simple

Lancer
04-17-2013, 01:57 PM
This was a very great review. You were very spot-on with the details and your reactions made me laugh, also, I agree with almost everything you said but as the person above me said, the line ''I've seen more complexity at a couch from IKEA'', means that even an IKEA couch is more complex than Skrillex' music because it's so simple. IKEA furniture are famous for their complicated manuals and set-up.

Still, a very good review. I look forward to seeing your review for the next battle. ;)

Actually, I always saw it commenting on the couch itself, not the set-up. Google "IKEA couch" and all you'll find are monochrome rectangular couches. All extremely simple couches.

Well, the couches look simple, but you have to go through hell to assemble them, which makes them complex, even if they look simple

It still makes them simple designs even though they're bitches to make.

Spars
04-17-2013, 03:32 PM
Yeah but the line is "I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA!"

Not "I've seen more complexity in building a couch from IKEA."

Epic Doctor X
04-17-2013, 04:39 PM
But if it's a lot of different parts and other stuff you have to put together to make it, doesn't it make the couch complex, even if it has a simple design?

Lancer
04-17-2013, 05:10 PM
But if it's a lot of different parts and other stuff you have to put together to make it, doesn't it make the couch complex, even if it has a simple design?

I guess, but I think they were specifically commenting on design.

Ashihara12
04-17-2013, 05:30 PM
But if it's a lot of different parts and other stuff you have to put together to make it, doesn't it make the couch complex, even if it has a simple design?

I guess, but I think they were specifically commenting on design.

I don't think they would use the word 'complexity' if they were going to compare something simple to something much more simple.

IKEA furniture are REALLY famous for their complex set-ups. 'I've seen more complexity in a couch from IKEA' can not only mean the design of an IKEA couch but also it's set-up. You could see something in an object/person that's not in it's external look.

IKEA is a brand that sells really HARD to assemble furniture, and Mozart is saying that even a couch beat his music when it comes to complexity. If he was just going to point out that IKEA's external designs are so simple that even Skrillex' music is simpler than it, then he could not have just used the brand IKEA because I think that there are tons and tons of brands in the world that make simple-designed couches. Plus, this is what IKEA is known for, its cheap price in exchange complex manuals and hard set-ups.

It even spread as memes: e.g. The 'I'll let you know Spongebob/Tough Spongebob' meme wherein he says ''I'll let you know that me and my girlfriend assembled IKEA and only threatened to break up twice.' and another: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3sf52w/

There are even articles around the net.
http://www.ehow.com/how_4808457_assembl ... ation.html (http://www.ehow.com/how_4808457_assemble-ikea-furniture-minimal-frustration.html)
http://www.holytaco.com/7-things-you-sa ... hing-ikea/ (http://www.holytaco.com/7-things-you-say-while-assembling-something-ikea/)
http://voices.yahoo.com/tips-assembling ... 01991.html (http://voices.yahoo.com/tips-assembling-ikea-furniture-701991.html)

But that's just what I think; I might be wrong. :shrug:

Rocket
04-18-2013, 01:11 AM
I don't get the diarrhoea line except:
"What comes after the 68th measure of diarrhoea?"
The 69th measure of diarrhoea. Even then I don't get the whole reference.

GonadTheNomad
04-18-2013, 01:45 AM
I don't get the diarrhoea line except:
"What comes after the 68th measure of diarrhoea?"
The 69th measure of diarrhoea. Even then I don't get the whole reference.

It's just saying that Skrillex's work is crappy.

ZoroarkPKMN
04-26-2013, 04:21 PM
Lyrics:
[spoiler:35fo6sy0]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

RASPUTIN
VERSUS
STALIN
BEGIN...

Rasputin:
Cool moustache, Wario
Try messing with the Mad Monk, you'll be sorry, yo
How many dictators does it take
To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states
It's a disgrace what you did to your own people
Your daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil
You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia
And history books unfold ya
As a messed up mothafucka bent in the mind
You built a superpower but it paid the price
With the endless destruction of Russian lives
If you're the Man of Steel, I spit kryptonite
Big dick mystic known to hypnotize
I can end you with a whisper to your wife

Stalin:
Look into my eyes you perverted witch
See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch
You think I give a fuck about my wife
My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life
You get off easy when they pickled that moose cock
I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot
Your whole family, shot, all your wizard friends, shot
Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot
Starve you for days until you waste away
I even crush mothafuckas when I'm laid in state
Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture
I drop the hammer on you harder than I bitchslapped Hitler

Lenin:
I have no pride for you who ruined everything
My revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie
I fought the bondage of classes, the proletariat masses
Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses
Let me start with you there, Frankenstein
Lookin' like something out of R.L. Stine
It's hip-hop chowder red over white
Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight
And Joseph you were supposed to be my right-hand man
But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man
Our whole future was bright, you let your heart go dark
And stopped the greatest revolution since the Birth of Marx

Gorbachev:
Knock knock knock knock
Did somebody say birthmarks?
Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnot
Assholes made a mess and the war got cold
Shook hands with both Ronalds, Reagan and McDonald's no doubt
If your name ends with 'in', time to get out
I had to balls to let Baryshnikov dance playa
Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah!
You two need yoga, you need to shower
And you all need to learn how to handle real power

Putin:
Did somebody say real power?
?a, you want to mess with me?
I spit hot borsch when I'm crushing these beats
Blow it up like a tuba, while I'm balling in Cuba
Doing judo moves and schooling every communist ????
I'm a president in my prime, my enemies don't distract me
The last man who attacked me lived a half-life so comrade come at me
You don't know what you're doing
When you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin
You'll find that the ex-KGB is the MC
In the ex-CCCP[/spoiler:35fo6sy0]

Video:
[spoiler:35fo6sy0][youtube:35fo6sy0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT2z0nrsQ8o[/youtube:35fo6sy0][/spoiler:35fo6sy0]

The Beat:
There are 3 different beats in this battle...kinda. The beat kinda shifts from tune to tune. The first beat is very hard, very war-like and intense. The beat stretches to Rasputin, Stalin, and Lenin's verses. It fits their characters and lyrics very well, with Rasputin's mysterious nature and Stalin and Lenin's leadership in Russia. The second beat is exclusive to Gorbachev's verse. Gorbachev in real life I imagine is strict, noble, and a great leader. EpicLloyd's portrayal of Gorbachev is more comedical, happy, and silly. Now, althought this isn't where I talk about impressions, the beat fit Gorbachev's style in this battle very nicely. It also worked with Pewdiepie's cameo. The final beat is where Putin comes in. Now, Putin's style of rapping and lyrics are beautiful. But I'll get to that later. The Putin beat lasts for about 2 minutes, because of the 1 and a half minute instrumental for the battle's end. In conclusion, all 3 beats for this battle are badass.
9.9 /10

Impersonations:
They're all fantastic. Rasputin is mysterious and creepy, Stalin is angry and stubborn, Lenin is angry, Gorbachev is comedic yet stern, and Putin is dull but vocally enthusiastic. That's all I have to say about that.
9.6/10

Costumes:
Rasputin, Stalin, and Gorbachev had pretty spot-on costumes. But let's talk Lenin and Putin. Lenin had a great costume, but the effect for him was unexpected. Don't get me wrong, the red and white is cool, but boy I did not expect that. Now for Putin. I was expecting Putin to be wearing a suit like in the ERB News video. But he was shirtless, had baggy pants, and was wearing a strange Russian hat. Now, it is a good costume, but again, unexpected.
9.4/10

Announcer:
It's hard to rate an announcer without the "Who Won" part. Just kinda throws me off. But let me try. Umm...it was good?
9/10

Verse 1--"Wario"
Rasputin's first and only verse is good. Damn good. He's got a very mystic field to him that completely gets his whole picture. There's also a Mario reference, and I like that.
9/10

Verse 2--"Bitchslapped Hitler"
Stalin's verse is pretty good. The lyrics are cool, Lloyd's acting was nice, and they even referenced a character from another ERB, like Michael Jackson and Moses. I like it, ERB. Better see this kind of shit next season.
9.5/10

Verse 3--"The Proletariat Masses"
Lenin's effects were weird, but the verse was pretty cool. He mainly went towards Stalin instead of Rasputin. Well, he did go against Rasputin, but not as much as he destroyed Stalin. And he can be compared to Lincoln in Obama vs Romney a lot with his lyrics and impersonation.
9.3/10

Verse 4--"Oh yeah!"
Gorbachev was amazing. So was Pewdie's cameo.
9.7/10

Verse 5--"Communist ????"
Putin comes in. Fucks shit up. Dull manner, but enthusiastic voice. WE KNOW ALL OF THIS.
9.8/10

So who do you think my winner is? Isn't it obvious? It's...
A TIE
Between who?
Stalin, Gorbachev and Putin
Stalin and Putin both won me over. Lenin was good, but not as good. Rasputin was good as well, but wasn't as good as those three. They were all SO AWESOME! WOO-HOO! SEASON 2! MOTHAFUCKAS!
And the battle on a scale of 0 to 100 is...
98.93/100
Good, but not as good as Mercury vs Sinatra. I should do a review on that. I'm tired...

Edgeheaded
04-28-2013, 08:19 AM
Nice...

Also I can't believe that I just realised there is no Whowonwhosnextyoudecide.

ZoroarkPKMN
05-10-2013, 09:20 AM
Lyrics:
[spoiler:18gawc5y]EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

MARTIN LUTHER KING
VERSUS
GAAAANDHIIII
BEGIN...

Gandhi:
You want to battle wits? See who's a better pacifist
I fought the caste system but you still cannot touch this
Slumdog skillionaire, first name Messiah
Raps so hot, I spit yoga fire
Everything you preach, I said it first
You should jot down these words, plagiarize my whole verse
Leave your thoughts on the door like the real Martin Luther
I'm not thinking you shall overcome this junior

King:
I'm the king of civil rights from the city to suburbia
No shoes, no shirt, but I'm still gonna serve ya
Make you swallow your words so you can break the fast
Then thank god almighty you can eat at last
I admire the way you broke the British power
But I have a dream that one day you'll take a shower
Like the H in your name you oughta remain silent
Flatten your style like bread, naan violence

Gandhi:
You would know about bread, Dr. Birmingham sandwich
Boycott those grits, sit in with some spinach
With protests and women the same advice goes
Always stay away from the ho's

King:
I've got so much street cred they write my name on the signs
I'd ring you for tech support but I got a no-bell prize
Nigga we got more beef than one of your sacred cows
But I'm about to forgive you so hard right now

Gandhi:
I am passively resisting the fact that you suck
I am celibate because I don't give a fuck

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

E, EEEE, EEEEEEEEE, EEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY[/spoiler:18gawc5y]

Video:
[spoiler:18gawc5y][youtube:18gawc5y]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6G6CZT7h4k[/youtube:18gawc5y][/spoiler:18gawc5y]

The Beat:
The beat seems pretty appropriate for the battle. It's got those weird stringy, piano things that make it seem very Indian, which fits Gandhi. The beat doesn't really relate to Dr. King as much as it relates to Gandhi, but it fits the style, flow, and rhymes of King's verses very well. They did an outstanding job picking the beat for this battle. I'm almost stunned.
9/10

Impersonations:
Key & Peele have great characters on their show. The half gay couple, the crazy girls, the Twilight gangsters, and a lot of great impressions as well, like Obama and Bobby McFerrin. They've had Martin Luther King Jr on their show before with Peele playing him, and he was great as him. His impression is very good and amazing. Now, Key has never played Gandhi on the show before, but he has done Indian accents and voices, like in the Wrestling Match skit and the Yo Mamma skit, so Gandhi is also a very outdone impression as well. The point I'm trying to say is that Slinkies get broken easily.
9.5/10

Costumes:
The MLK costume is pretty basic. I don't think it's that hard to get Peele into a suit in front of a podium. And the people behind MLK have pretty good costumes as well, definitely matching their historical time period. Gandhi is also good. His costume would be harder, but the robe is perfect. The people behind Gandhi also have good clothes matching India in the early 1900s. Especially Peter. He's got a priest outfit. Did I just call priest clothes an outfit? What is he, a superhero? Is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it's Father Peter! Protecting a small community from Satan! I'm getting off track.
9.4/10

Announcer:
Peter, you had an absence in this battle in the rap part of it. But as for the announcing, you did a great job. The end part is always supposed to match the characters in some way (e.g in Tesla vs Edison the announcer was getting electrocuted, in Ruth vs Armstrong the announcer did the ol' baseball thingy), and I guess this one was supposed to match Gandhi in some way like India? I dunno. Can you message me on Twitter or something? That'd actually be fucking amazing if you did.
9.3/10

Verse 1--"Spit Yoga Fire"
Gandhi comes strong. He's sitting down and shit, and it's pretty cool. He's very mellow and humble. And I like mellow characters. Sometimes. Shut up.
9.6/10

Verse 2--"Naan Violence"
HAHAHAHAHA THIS WHOLE VERSE IS FILLED WITH INDIAN STEREOTYPES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GIVE THESE GUYS A MEDAL HAHAHA
9.7/10

Verse 3--"Dr. Birmingham Sandwich"
This one more references all the protests that King was a part of during the civil rights movement, which is actually very mature of Gandhi compared to King's entire verse on stereotypes. Did I mention that? HAHAHAHA
9.7/10

Verse 4--"No-bell Prize"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MORE STEREOTYPES HAHAHAHA
9.7/10

Verse 5--"I Don't Give a Fuck"
Gandhi ends it and then...sucks...King's...dick? Da fuq was that shit at the end? Seriously. DA FUQ?!
9.7/10

The winner of this magnificent battle is...
TIE
Wow. How anti-climactic.
Well, Key & Peele is my all-time favorite TV show. Second favorite is Always Sunny in Philadelphia. But we're not talking about Always Sunny right now. We're talking about Epic Rap Battles of fucking History. Except the word "fucking" is not in the title. But it should be. Pete, can you message me on your thoughts of changing the show's title to "Epic Rap Battles of Fucking History"? I'm not saying that the battles should be of the history of fucking, just like have the announcer go "EPIC RAP BATTLES OF FUCKING HISTORY!!" in one battle. Please? Thank you.
And the battle of a scale of 0 to 100 is...
97.99
What the fuck did you expect? I dunno...*burp*

Batman Heisenberg
05-10-2013, 11:45 AM
Good review.

Samos
05-10-2013, 02:12 PM
Good review, but I disagree with the thing on Indian stereotypes. MLK didn't have any Indian sterotypes in his first verse (except maybe the Naan Violence line), and he only had 2 in the second verse.

GonadTheNomad
05-10-2013, 02:59 PM
Good review, but I disagree with the thing on Indian stereotypes. MLK didn't have any Indian sterotypes in his first verse (except maybe the Naan Violence line), and he only had 2 in the second verse.

Naan being popular in India is a stereotype?

ZoroarkPKMN
05-10-2013, 03:06 PM
Good review, but I disagree with the thing on Indian stereotypes. MLK didn't have any Indian sterotypes in his first verse (except maybe the Naan Violence line), and he only had 2 in the second verse.

The verses references the following:

--Lack of clothes
--Indian hunger
--Not showering
--Monks
--Bread
--Tech support
--Sacred cows

Samos
05-10-2013, 03:35 PM
Good review, but I disagree with the thing on Indian stereotypes. MLK didn't have any Indian sterotypes in his first verse (except maybe the Naan Violence line), and he only had 2 in the second verse.

The verses references the following:

--Lack of clothes
--Indian hunger
--Not showering
--Monks
--Bread
--Tech support
--Sacred cows
The lack of clothes thing isn't an Indian stereotype, that was just the way Gandhi dressed. The hunger thing wasn't a joke about Indian hunger, it was a joke about Gandhi's famous ''116 day hunger strike''. Gandhi was a monk, so that's not really a stereotype either. The only real stereotype lines are the shower line, the bread line, the tech support and the sacred cows lines, which is just 4, and out of a total 12 lines, that isn't too many.

Uprising
05-10-2013, 04:42 PM
Good review, but my Slinky I have had for almost 10 years has not yet broken :p

Creo
05-11-2013, 02:57 PM
I hated this battle the first time I saw it, but it's really grown on me. I like your review and agree mostly, but Gorbachev edges out the overall victory for me.

Dion
05-16-2013, 11:30 PM
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/37900970.jpg

ZoroarkPKMN
05-18-2013, 12:25 PM
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/37900970.jpg

:/

xxDeadxPoolxx
05-18-2013, 12:46 PM
Zoroark, going forward, your reviews are to be in one thread. There is no reason to make multiple threads for 1 topic. All of my reviews are under one thread, same with Samuels. You can do the same.

Thanks.

xxDeadxPoolxx
05-18-2013, 12:47 PM
Place holder to merge all of Zoroark's reviews.

ZoroarkPKMN
05-18-2013, 12:51 PM
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just do this without consulting me!

xxDeadxPoolxx
05-18-2013, 12:56 PM
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just do this without consulting me!

Yes, I can. As Literal Reviews Mod, I can make the calls that I believe are for the good of the section. Even Dion agrees that your reviews need to be in one thread. There is no reason for you to have multiple threads of the same topic and we have discussed about this in the Mod section. You're just flipping out because it's me and you have a hate on for me.

ZoroarkPKMN
05-18-2013, 12:57 PM
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just do this without consulting me!

Yes, I can. As Literal Reviews Mod, I can make the calls that I believe are for the good of the section. Even Dion agrees that your reviews need to be in one thread. There is no reason for it and we have discussed about this in the Mod section. You're just flipping out because it's me and you have a hate on for me.

No I don't. You can't just do this without PMing me first. I'm not posting reviews here, not because I don't like you, because you didn't consult me about this. That's bullshit. I'm not arguing, and Dion, I honestly don't care if you don't like me doing this, and I refuse to discuss this. I'm done with this discussion.

xxDeadxPoolxx
05-18-2013, 01:01 PM
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just do this without consulting me!

Yes, I can. As Literal Reviews Mod, I can make the calls that I believe are for the good of the section. Even Dion agrees that your reviews need to be in one thread. There is no reason for it and we have discussed about this in the Mod section. You're just flipping out because it's me and you have a hate on for me.

No I don't. You can't just do this without PMing me first. I'm not posting reviews here, not because I don't like you, because you didn't consult me about this. That's bullshit. I'm not arguing, and Dion, I honestly don't care if you don't like me doing this, and I refuse to discuss this. I'm done with this discussion.

Well it's being done. Your reviews will be merged into here. Quite frankly, refusing to follow a Mod's order can result in a warning.

But hey, feel free to take this up with Dion if you think that this isn't right :).

ZoroarkPKMN
05-18-2013, 01:02 PM
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't just do this without consulting me!

Yes, I can. As Literal Reviews Mod, I can make the calls that I believe are for the good of the section. Even Dion agrees that your reviews need to be in one thread. There is no reason for it and we have discussed about this in the Mod section. You're just flipping out because it's me and you have a hate on for me.

No I don't. You can't just do this without PMing me first. I'm not posting reviews here, not because I don't like you, because you didn't consult me about this. That's bullshit. I'm not arguing, and Dion, I honestly don't care if you don't like me doing this, and I refuse to discuss this. I'm done with this discussion.

Well it's being done. Your reviews will be merged into here. Quite frankly, refusing to follow a Mod's order can result in a warning.

But hey, feel free to take this up with Dion if you think that this isn't right :).

And that's where I stop making my reviews.

xxDeadxPoolxx
05-18-2013, 01:06 PM
/shrug/ Your choice if you want to be immature like that. We want to cut down on multiple threads that contain, essentially, the same topic. It makes it easier to consolidate it rather than have the way it is now.

If you want to stop doing reviews because we want to clean up the forum, that's your choice, but it's an immature choice.

ZoroarkPKMN
05-21-2013, 09:40 AM
*deletes new review*

xxDeadxPoolxx
05-21-2013, 09:49 AM
*deletes new review*

There is a new rule set in place where you must have your reviews of the same topic in 1 thread. Not following this will result in a warning. Please refer to my post on the new rules/punishment system.

Vladimir Putin
05-22-2013, 12:19 PM
I think they al where awesome ! the beat on Putin's part was just really catchy, i liked how gorbachev came in and ehm i just liked everything

On a scale from 0 to 100? OVER 9000!