Mike Hat

All right let's see if I enjoy this battle as much in hindsight as I did when I first watched it.

Who won?

Spoiler: 

Superman: Round 1

Who can stop this constipated jock
Interesting way to start the battle. DBZ characters do sound constipated now that I think about it. +1
With the awful animation and the complicated plot?
Meh, just stating things without really putting a twist on them. 0
Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan?
This makes

...

Slavemaster Polar told me I had to do this by tonight or else so...

Who won?

Spoiler: 

Craig: Round 1

I’ve beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar
Sets up a really good line plus makes Bond sound intimidating. +1
But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are
Hilarious. +2
I’ll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot
I like the Walther pun and the flow so +1
Blast shots atcha like gas

...

Who won?

Spoiler: 

Jefferson: Round 1

When in the course of human events
It becomes necessary for a battle to commence
I like the idea of opening the battle up with lines from the Declaration of Independence, but in practice it doesn't really translate well. 0
Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my quill
I'm a little meh on this line as well. I think they could've been a better way to say "I dissed people in print too" than this. 0
I'm

...

Here we goooo!

Who won?

Spoiler: 

Ramsay: Round 1

And that's how you make a perfect risotto
Not counting this as a line.
Right, Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups’ table
Really above average for an opening line. Puns on her name and references the whole "Cooking" theme. Also the visuals implying he doesn't even remember her name help. +2
I've got exactly two minutes and you should be grateful
Sam's explanation of this

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Okay I'm gonna jump on the review bandwagon but I'm gonna do it in my blog for three reasons.

1) So this thing has a purpose again.
2) So I won't have three running threads in the Review subforum.
3) So I can just review the regular ERBs without doing any requests or anything.

So yeah. Basically I'm going to be dissecting each battle in two different ways: "Who won?", where I simply rank the combatants against each other, and "Overall ranking," ...