Nomadic Testicle Ball-og

Shooting The Breeze #2: Heckler and Koch GmbH (Germany, 1948-Present)

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For a decent starting point and primary resource to research yourselves:

HK has many milestones in its history, being 69 years old aside, for you fans of phallic humor such as myself on ERBoH.

The first and most prominent is that, despite popular belief, they pioneered the polymer handgun before Glock did with its G17 pistol. The HK VP70 (In German, roughly "Volkspistol 70" or "People's Handgun, [patent year of] 1970") was a select fire (Semi-automatic or Three-round burst firing.) Firearm released as, much like Volkswagen cars are describes as nowadays, a cost-efficient and reliable tool of defense or personal use for any self-respecting German. However, ironically, Germany's gun laws for import, export, and civilian rights to Keep and Bear Arms are so strict that modern HK guns cannot even be exported for international sale with true glow-in-the-dark night sights, because a kind of radioactive hydrogen called tritium is used, among other chemicals, in luminescent paints. Instead, most HK factory "night sights" recharge like glow in the dark stickers and Constellation wall fixtures that many of us probably had as kids, in the light of being exposed to a flashlight beam, or in natural daylight when the gun isn't concealed, and then having a short, but valuable time during which those sights will give you a one, two, or, usually for factory HK iron sights, three dot sight picture if you have to aim a gun with factory "night" sights at a potential threat in the nighttime.

Modern successes include the HK G3, which has been modified in caliber and other specs to become what you may know as the MP5, HK33, HK53, and many other kinds of rifles and submachine guns; The G36 series of polymer based assault rifles, the lightest, the G36C, weighing less than 7 pounds empty with a magazine in the mag well; the UMP (Universal Machine Pistol in German) in calibers 9mm, .40 S&W, .45 ACP, or, theoretically, any caliber if you got the righ barrel, magazine, and upper/lower receiver for that caliber; and, perhaps most notably, the HK 416, a piston-driven (Versus direct impingement) AR015/M16 inspired design, so reliable, that it was both adopted in part by USSOCOM and NAval Special Forces, and many international militaries, it can withstand thousands of rounds at ~600-800 rounds per minute (RPM) and still be cool to the touch everywhere but its gas piston tube. Such a tube is used to use gasses from firing off a bullet to cycle a semi-auto, burst or full auto fire, or select-fire AR-15/M16 style rifle by pushing certain parts of the internals of the upper receiver back to cycle a new round, eject spent brass, (Shell casings) and keep a gun goes for at least a few hundred rounds without cleaning, or thousands for the 416; with piston driven AR's especially, (Armalite Rifles, not Assault. The AR in AR-15 is from Eugene Stoner's first affiliated company when he invented the M16/Armalite Rifle 15, or AR-15.) the feat of over 10,000 rounds fired without a single malfunction or jam, and without cleaning that some AR-15's need about every 500 rounds, is amazingly impressive.

Although, sadly, they lost the bid against Fabrique Nationale Herstal (Or FNH, from Belgian French dialect for, like, FN company of Herstal.) to make the standard PDW/Pistol combo for the UN and its nation states the 4.6mm round the MP7A1 fires, against the FNH P90 and Five-seveN (Yes, it's spelled that way, down to the letter capitalization, exactly.) in 5.7mm, because the 5.7 round was both more reliably lethal, but less likely to fail as a round for much of anything in a pistol, which is where the MP7 being the only 4.6mm round gun on the international market for military, police, and sadly, no civilian market, ever, most likely, unless Umarex is allowed to make a .22 LR clone of it a la Umarex .22 LR MP5SD, MP5A5, and HK 416D licensed by HK because of the same reason Umarex has the most 7mm and AEG HK-licensed accurate copies of HK guns on the market for skirmishers, to date: The pistol that HK stopped building after losing the bid to be the PDW/Pistol 1-2 punch for UN's trials had too short of a barrel for reliable ballistics from the 4.6mm cartridge.

Luckily, HK bitched about this, so now UN member nations and states can choose the MP7A1 and unrelated pistols in caliber, or the FN Five-Seven and P90 in tandem, for their PDW/Pistol needs.

It's worth noting U.S. Secret Service has never used HK guns, but uses the P90 and Five-SeveN regularly for plain-clothes Presidential Protective Detail Servicemen, which is funny given we're, as a country, much more German than we've ever been Belgian.

Also something about Belgium sharing a border the the Dutch and Michael Caine in Austin P

Next time: Probably FNH tbh, I know a lot about them because Splinter Cell. But hey, maybe not, who knows?