ZoroarkPKMN

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who play video games (like myself) and people who think that they're awful (cunts).

But then there's a third kind of person that doesn't fit in with a gamer or a cunt.
I like to call them "Fake Gamers"
You may ask yourself "What is a fake gamer?"
I'll tell you.

A fake gamer is a person who is terrible at video games but insists that they're good. They're usually 6-year-old children playing Black Ops or a 6-year-old kid playing Drawn to Life on a DSi. It's just--*sigh*...GET A 3DS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! NOBODY OWNS A DSI ANYMORE!!
Gamers like me memorize the way to beat Portal
Fake gamers need someone to help them beat every puzzle in Portal.
Gamers like me know that you need an iron pickaxe to mine diamond, and wood planks to make crafting tables, and stone to make furnaces.
Fake gamers just dig down without a pickaxe and destroy every block of diamond they see
Gamers like me know how to find a contradiction in Ace Attorney
Fake gamers don't know what Ace Attorney is
See what I mean?

Another way a person can be qualified as a Fake Gamer is if you're playing your DS or PSP or apps in public, and these "Fake Gamers" crowd around you trying to watch.
You know how difficult that feels when you're playing FACE RAIDERS ON 3DS?!
I was playing Super Mario 3D Land after school a year ago and two or three kids were crowding around me and I kindly asked them to leave.
They said no.
Then they were complaining at me, saying "Turn the 3D off I can't see"
Mothafucka then buy your own 3DS and get away from me!
Another situation really bugged the crap out of me.
School had a delayed opening.
For people who came early, you had to go to the cafeteria and wait for school to start. You could play on your games, on your phone, listen to music, jerk off, whatever! (For that last part, you could do it as long as no one caught you)
I was playing Super Mario 3D Land again.
A single kid came and watched me. I didn't mind it. The kid seemed like a Nintendo fanboy.
"Watch out for Dry Bones!"
"Get the fire flower!"
After I got a bit bored and wanted to stop playing, I was putting it away when the kid asked me "Wait! Can I play?"
This was the first year I had my 3DS. And I was given specific instructions from my parents, "Only YOU can play it. Unless you give permission to a friend, no one else can play it"
I took a deep breath and told the kid "No."
He began whining, and his female friend came along and asked if he could play my 3DS. Apparently Super Mario 3D Land was the only Nintendo 3DS game he didn't have, and he forgot his 3DS that one day.
I still said no.
Then (remember these kids are kindergartners), they literally drew a picture of a ghost on a piece of paper and tried to scare the 3DS out of me like in the SpongeBob episode with the soda hat.
I still said no.
I mean, I know they're kindergartners, but I mean COME ON! No means no, and ghosts don't scare me. Well, if a ghost was actually just a sheet with two eyes it wouldn't scare me. If it was a blue transparent demon that could turn its head around and round, I'd be pretty scared. But still, my 3DS was in my BACKPACK! Not in my hands. Even if a ghost did scare me I'd run off, WITH MY BACKPACK.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Fake Gamers.
They're stupid.
/RantOver