Ludwig

So there's this little shit, I'll call him "Theo" for the sake of convenience and identity protection.

So Theo says that he is a ladies man and that he is so popular, not to sound like a dick but he's only popular because I let him hang out with my crew at lunch a few times. He always brags about hooking up with chicks who don't even know who he is.

Real Examples:

*Walking around the courtyard on a friday*
"Hunter seriously, we made out at the Ice Rink!"
*Finds girl he was talking about*
*talks to her*
"Hey Theo, this is Sophia and she has no clue who in the fuck you are"

-
"MMM, Jackie's coconut lipstick. Don't get me started."
"That explains why I was just texting Jackie's boyfriend and her who both have no clue who you are"
-
Without fucking his soul, I could tolerate this. BUTTTTTTTTT then he slips up.
He brings my girl into this. She is half british, half American speaks with an american accent (Plus she's that person every gamer has ever dreamt of <3). Since Theo and Emily (that's her name) were on different teams of students (It's a really complicated system) they only knew each other from elementary school. This is where I went off.
"Theo, I guarantee I know her better than you. She does not have a British accent."
"Yes she does!"
"Are you fucking serious? I AM DATING HER. I TALK TO HER FOR HOURS EVERY DAY, SHE DOES NOT HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT."
"Well she's different around me. She speaks with an accent around me."
And twenty seconds later he was on the ground with an injured wrist.

I've never told anyone this, so I thought I'd share it.