Parody Putin's Verse As Another Character.

So, following the basics of Putin's ERB verse, make one similar to it, for another character.

In case you can't read titles.

Anyway, here's mine, for Sam Fisher (I expect exactly none of you to get this one's meaning 100%):

Spoiler: 

Psst..hey. You want to mess with me?
I spit LTL rounds when I'm crushing these lights.
Blow it up like a wall mine, while I'm balling in Georgia.
Doing Krav Maga moves and schooling every one of Nikoladze's sukas!
I'm a SIGNIT ninja in my 50's, my enemies might outrun me.
But the last man who attacked me got heart stabbed, so, buddy come at me!
You don't know what your doing, when you try and bust a rhyme against a man like me.
You'll find that the ex-U.S. Navy is the best SC in Echelon #3!

Ash Ketchum:

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say the very best?
Ha! You want to mess with me?
I spit Flame Charges while I'm crushing these geeks
Blow it up like a Voltorb, while I'm balling in Kanto
Pokemon do moves and schooling every challenger in Sinnoh
I'm a trainer in my prime, Team Rocket doesn't distract me
The last Pokemon to attack me fainted badly, so old friend come at me!
You don't know what you're doing when you try and bust a rhyme against a mind of my creation
You'll find that the ex-Champion is the best trainer in all six generations!

Mario:

Spoiler: 

Wahoo! You want to mess with me?
I use my fire flower while i'm crushing koopa troopas
Blow it up like a Bob-omb, while i'm ballin in World - 9
Eatin mushrooms while i'm schoolin this big bad King Koopa
I'll save that princess in her prime, bullet bills don't distract me,
the last goomba who attacked me, got ground pounded, so luigi come with me!
You don't know what you're doin, when your try to bust a rhyme against my star power
You'll find that this italian plumber makes the best hero in all of videogamedom!

A person who doesn't know what to do with their life yet:

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say flamingos?
Haaaaaa, you want to mess with me?
I use brute force when I'm trimming these trees
Blowing up many balloons, when I'm training a baboon
Doing parkour moves and making people ride in a pontoon
I'm a human being in my prime, my enemies don't exist yet
The last person who had a toothache almost went to me, so don't get too wet!
I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just trying to make something up for job reviewing
You'll find that the A-B-C-D are the first T-H-I-N-Gs in the A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T!

Pool (With Permission)
{[Controversial Humor Alert!!!]}

Spoiler: 

(He wrote some of dis)

Did somebody say Jews?
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW Jew want to mess with me?
I spit screamers as I fuck with Jewr mom
Blow it up like Kim Jong Un while I'm fucking with Jewr mum
Doing racist jokes and scaring the fuck out of Gunnut
I'm a penis in my prime, my badassery don't desert me
The last jew to attack me got gassed so come rape me
Jew dunno whatcha doing when Jew're trying to rape the ass of Poolio
Jew'll find that this nygga jew asian is the best rappa in the whole white world. I QUIT.

Red from Pokemon, Chell, Gordon Freeman, etc.

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

GLaDOS

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say Cake?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! You want to test with me?
I sent out turrets to crush tests subjects woo hee
Blow it up like a turret while I'm watching a deer again
Scaring birds away and fucking with that FUCKING MORON
I'm an AI in my prime, bitch, you messing with me?
The last bot to attack me made me a potato but whatever come at me
You dunno what you're doing when you're fucking with the almighty GLADOS
You'll find that the Genetic Lifeform DOS is the best life killer in the whole of Aperture

Batman

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY NICE HAT
NANANANANANANANANANA YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME
I SPIT

Alfred:
Sir, you have no parents.

Batman:
*runs away crying*

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MaNCHA

Pool (With Permission)
{[Controversial Humor Alert!!!]}

Spoiler: 

(He wrote some of dis)

Did somebody say Jews?
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW You want to mess with me?
I spit screamers as I fuck with your mom
Blow it up like Kim Jong Un while I'm fucking with your mum
Doing racist jokes and scaring the fuck out of Gunnut
I'm a penis in my prime, my badassery don't desert me
The last jew to attack me got gassed so come rape me
You dunno whatcha doing when you're trying to rape the ass of Poolio
You'll find that this nygga jew asian is the best rappa in the whole white world. I QUIT.

Red from Pokemon, Chell, Gordon Freeman, etc.

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

GLaDOS

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say Cake?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! You want to test with me?
I sent out turrets to crush tests subjects woo hee
Blow it up like a turret while I'm watching a deer again
Scaring birds away and fucking with that FUCKING MORON
I'm an AI in my prime, bitch, you messing with me?
The last bot to attack me made me a potato but whatever come at me
You dunno what you're doing when you're fucking with the almighty GLADOS
You'll find that the Genetic Lifeform DOS is the best life killer in the whole of Aperture

Batman

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY NICE HAT
NANANANANANANANANANA YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME
I SPIT

Alfred:
Sir, you have no parents.

Batman:
*runs away crying*

---

:wat:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Fourth Gunnut

:wat:

---

That was the aforementioned part Pool wrote. Soddy. ._.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MaNCHA

That was the aforementioned part Pool wrote. Soddy. ._.

---

Why can't people just stfu about the damn thing?

Myself (fuck rhymes) :
Did somebody say surrender ?
OUIIIIIIIIIIII you want to cook with me ?
I spit hot toast when I'm crushing these dicks
Blow it up like a penis, while i'm bailing in Paris
Doing parkour move and schooling Adam VS Eve saloooopes !
I'm an ambassador in my prime, my enemies make me sit in my chair an smile
The last man who attacked me forfeited so mon ami come at me
You know what you're doing, when you try to bust a rhyme against a guy like Clemi
You'll find that the HW is a good MC in the E R B O H

Bob Marley:
Did someone say weed?
Jaaaa, you want to hang with me?
I spit hot smoke while I'm smoking this weed.
Light it up like it's a blunt, while I'm playing in my hutt,
playing reggae songs for every Rastafarian dude's butt.
I'm a musician and I'm high, the weed helps to relax me,
the last man who attacked me was the sheriff, so ja mon come at me!
You all know that you wanna
let me sell you some of this marijuana,
you'll find that the ex-Nesta is the best rappa in all of Jamaica!

Kim Jong-Un:

YEEEEEE You want to mess with me?
I spit hot food while my people have nothing to eat
Blow it up like the DMZ, while I'm balling with the Chinese
Doing Tae Kwon Do and schooling every imperialist pussy!
I'm a Glorious Leader in my prime, the Americans don't distract me
The last peasant who spoke out against me, was put in a camp, so capitalist pig-dog come at me!
You don't know what you're doin, tryin' to mess around with a mind like Kim-Jong Un's and,
You'll find that the Dictator that's cray-cray is the best DJ in the DPRK!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wumbo

Kim Jong-Un:

YEEEEEE You want to mess with me?
I spit hot food while my people have nothing to eat
Blow it up like the DMZ, while I'm balling with the Chinese
Doing Tae Kwon Do and schooling every imperialist pussy!
I'm a Glorious Leader in my prime, the Americans don't distract me
The last peasant who spoke out against me, was put in a camp, so capitalist pig-dog come at me!
You don't know what you're doin, tryin' to mess around with a mind like Kim-Jong Un's and,
You'll find that the Dictator that's cray-cray is the best DJ in the DPRK!

---

All of my this. All of it.

Skrillex:

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say...Skrillex?

Maaaaaaaaaaan, you want to mess with me?
I spit hot strobes when I'm crushing this bass.
Blow it up like a rave, while kids explode and get wild.
Doing key presses and schooling every Classical manchild.
I'm an artist in my prime,my enemies don't attack me.
The last man who attacked me was bangaranged to pieces, so, come at me, bro.
You don't know what you're doing, when you try and bust a beat against a man like Sonny!
You'll find that the ex-First-Last is the best MC in the business of pressing keys!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wumbo

Kim Jong-Un:

YEEEEEE You want to mess with me?
I spit hot food while my people have nothing to eat
Blow it up like the DMZ, while I'm balling with the Chinese
Doing Tae Kwon Do and schooling every imperialist pussy!
I'm a Glorious Leader in my prime, the Americans don't distract me
The last peasant who spoke out against me, was put in a camp, so capitalist pig-dog come at me!
You don't know what you're doin, tryin' to mess around with a mind like Kim-Jong Un's and,
You'll find that the Dictator that's cray-cray is the best DJ in the DPRK!

---

Holy shit.

Take me.

LeBron James

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say.... flopping?
Spurs, you want to mess with me?
I spit three pointers hotter than my team name
Ball it up like D. Wade, basketball is my trade
Dunkin, spinnin, winnin, like it's my game
I'm on the Heat in my prime, the Thunder can't distract me
The last team that attacked me lost the title so Howard come at me!
You don't know what you doin', my two rings will leave your team in ruins
You'll find that the ex-cavalier is the best baller in the whole damn NBA!

Me in le Gorby and Pootin form :D

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say...cactus?

Yo, I'm the host with the most Nuevo Mexico
Assholes made a mess and the state won't get cold.
Shook hands with both fame claims, White Sands and Breaking Bad, no doubt.
If your name isn't mine, time to get out.
I had the balls to let other people reside here alive, playa
Tore down that socialization like the Kool-Aid man, oh yeah!
[Pointing to homestates of Umbreh, Penis, and Wisconsin] You two need gun freedom, you need some chiles.
And you all need to learn how to handle real heat!

Did somebody say...heat?

SIIIIIIIIIIII, You want to fuck with me?
I spit green chiles when I'm crushing these beats.
Blow it up like a turtle, while I'm balling in Valencia.
Doing Krav Maga moves and schooling every non-resident pendejo!
I'm a Gunnut in my prime, my enemies don't stab me.
The last man to attack me, is ded, so, bro, run away from me!
You don'y know what you're doing, when you try to bust a cap against a man like Gonad
You'll find that the ex-BSA is the best MC in the ex-New Mexican Territory!
*Falls over from being high on chiles*