Renegade Rap Battles

So folks... 'Sup?

No dramatic return for me, I just want to breathe, write some more wicked battles and maybe make some people chuckle. It's good to be back, and hopefully I'll stay put this time.

The point is, it's time for more rap battles! I tried doing separate seasons in separate threads, but that was sorta bogus. No more seasons. Straight fiery rhyming goodness. I'm going to try to drop battles here every week (or two) and yes, your suggestions help. I love hearing them.

Well, here they are: Ren's rap battles, born anew!

1. Victor Frankenstein vs. Henry Jekyll
2. Amelia Earheart vs. Gilligan
3. DJ Battle Supreme (7 DJ Free-For-All)
4. Willy Wonka vs. Katy Perry
5. Gregory House vs. Sigmund Freud (Suggested by Top-Hattington)
6. Bobby Fischer vs. Hercules
7. Mr. Miyagi vs. Socrates
8. Bill Cosby vs. Bob Saget

Just so you know, I'm working on a battle that I've wanted to do for a long while. It involves, life, death and change, and both of these men are quite deserving of their shared professional abbreviation.

It'll drop soon, but in the meantime, leave some suggestions to help me get rolling again!

This is a joyous day. Welcome back old friend

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Top-Hattington

This is a joyous day. Welcome back old friend

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Thanks, bud. I'm glad to be back after a long break (and some stuff that happened in my life that's unrelated to the forum). I'm looking forward to putting my pen back to the paper and maybe even spinning up... A collaboration? :)

Looking forward to it, welcome back.

Thanks, Spartica. As am I.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cool-The-Renegade

Thanks, bud. I'm glad to be back after a long break (and some stuff that happened in my life that's unrelated to the forum). I'm looking forward to putting my pen back to the paper and maybe even spinning up... A collaboration? :)

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Well that sure is a tantalizing thought ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Top-Hattington

Well that sure is a tantalizing thought ;)

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Shoot me a PM and we can chat about our project we never started. Plus, I'd like some feedback on a couple of things.

Quite honestly, I'm excited for this. Everyone here is good at making rap battles, but yours are honestly the ones I look forward to. Can't wait!

EPIC (RENEGADE) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*The scene opens in a hallway, and we see a pair of feet walking toward a door. The camera pans up to reveal...*

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN...

*Frank jiggles the knob, but it's locked. He backs up and rams it, busting the door down.*

VS...

*A man sits at a desk, clutching a bottle of murky liquid. He takes a swig of it, finishing it off. He stands and turns slowly...*

HENRY JEKYLL!
BEGIN!

Jekyll:
I’ve little time, let me drop these rhymes so I can scream “hell no!”
As if I’ll get defeated by some alchemy-casting necro!
I’m quite the Long Man, you’re Green with envy
A basket case who readily breaks down mentally!
I’ll make this glorified baby-daddy bite the dirt,
You’re just a sad-sack hack who died on Saint Nick’s turf!

Frankenstein:
I’m afraid I can’t treat this strange case of ugly bastard,
My good man, I bid you, fetch the mic at once! (Igor: Yes, master!)
I could concoct 1818 methods
of defeating this abominable, horrible, wretched…
Devil of a man whose life did change
When his molecules became rearranged!
You wasted time, drew a line, lost your spine and then your mind,
My fine mind is mine, it’s primed! Yours has got you committing crimes!
You trampled a young girl then paid her family off,
I tampered with the world, made something damning, (Monster: AGH!)
You think you know who should live? Do you think that I would kid?
You still prefer the utter, son, So you should put back on your bib!
It’s almost as if this bitch don’t know I’m the modern Prometheus!
My name’s got higher mileage like it’s a Goddamn Prius!

*Jekyll opens his mouth to speak, but the words are caught in his throat. He turns away and falls to his knees, changing under his clothes. He turns back to Frankenstein, a new man.*

Hyde:
Aghhhhh! I’m an alter-ego maniac with a real mean mug
Just mad man, ‘bout to Monster Mash you up,
To a fine-grained dust which I’ll then chug
With a little bit of potion that I mixed right up
In my lab! Take a stab and re-a-lize,
When a guy fucks with me, he straight up dies!
I’m Maimin’ dudes with canes, I’m smashin’ brains,
I’m not a little off my rocker, no, I’m fuckin’ insane!
You made a monster responsible for all of your friends
dying horrible deaths and meeting untimely ends!
Will and Clerval killed, blood spilled, Mom suffered Scarlet fever,
Dad died of grief and Liz was gone before you saw her beaver!
You chased your failed creation all across the globe, son,
Give up and Let It Go, Vic, you’re already Frozen!

*Hyde pulls another bottle of the previously mentioned potion and takes a gulp, then transforming back into Jekyll.*

Frankenstein:
I made a monster, you became one! It’s pathetic, honestly,
I studied chemistry before you were born… Periodically.
It’s quite shocking just how smart I am, and I’m not even bias,
I’m locking down a Saturn while I build a new Goliath!
I am being frank here when I say this ain’t your day,
How can you step to me musically when my descendant’s on broadway?
I’ll take an unhappy Jekyll and bring a swift end to his life,
I suppose disposing of monsters just makes me feel… Aliiiiiiiiive!

WHO WON?! WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC...
*THUNDER CLAP*
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

So there it is! The first one is all wrapped up. Enjoy, Chilluns!

A couple things:

1. Once you enjoy this first battle, make a suggestion for a future one!

2. Beware, There's oxygen in the aorta!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cool-The-Renegade

EPIC (RENEGADE) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*The scene opens in a hallway, and we see a pair of feet walking toward a door. The camera pans up to reveal...*

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN...

*Frank jiggles the knob, but it's locked. He backs up and rams it, busting the door down.*

VS...

*A man sits at a desk, clutching a bottle of murky liquid. He takes a swig of it, finishing it off. He stands and turns slowly...*

HENRY JEKYLL!
BEGIN!

Jekyll:
I’ve little time, let me drop these rhymes so I can scream “hell no!”
As if I’ll get defeated by some alchemy-casting necro!
I’m quite the Long Man, you’re Green with envy
A basket case who readily breaks down mentally!
I’ll make this glorified baby-daddy bite the dirt,
You’re just a sad-sack hack who died on Saint Nick’s turf!

Frankenstein:
I’m afraid I can’t treat this strange case of ugly bastard,
My good man, I bid you, fetch the mic at once! (Igor: Yes, master!)
I could concoct 1818 methods
of defeating this abominable, horrible, wretched…
Devil of a man whose life did change
When his molecules became rearranged!
You wasted time, drew a line, lost your spine and then your mind,
My fine mind is mine, it’s primed! Yours has got you committing crimes!
You trampled a young girl then paid her family off,
I tampered with the world, made something damning, (Monster: AGH!)
You think you know who should live? Do you think that I would kid?
You still prefer the utter, son, So you should put back on your bib!
It’s almost as if this bitch don’t know I’m the modern Prometheus!
My name’s got higher mileage like it’s a Goddamn Prius!

*Jekyll opens his mouth to speak, but the words are caught in his throat. He turns away and falls to his knees, changing under his clothes. He turns back to Frankenstein, a new man.*

Hyde:
Aghhhhh! I’m an alter-ego maniac with a real mean mug
Just mad man, ‘bout to Monster Mash you up,
To a fine-grained dust which I’ll then chug
With a little bit of potion that I mixed right up
In my lab! Take a stab and re-a-lize,
When a guy fucks with me, he straight up dies!
I’m Maimin’ dudes with canes, I’m smashin’ brains,
I’m not a little off my rocker, no, I’m fuckin’ insane!
You made a monster responsible for all of your friends
dying horrible deaths and meeting untimely ends!
Will and Clerval killed, blood spilled, Mom suffered Scarlet fever,
Dad died of grief and Liz was gone before you saw her beaver!
You chased your failed creation all across the globe, son,
Give up and Let It Go, Vic, you’re already Frozen!

*Hyde pulls another bottle of the previously mentioned potion and takes a gulp, then transforming back into Jekyll.*

Frankenstein:
I made a monster, you became one! It’s pathetic, honestly,
I studied chemistry before you were born… Periodically.
It’s quite shocking just how smart I am, and I’m not even bias,
I’m locking down a Saturn while I build a new Goliath!
I am being frank here when I say this ain’t your day,
How can you step to me musically when my descendant’s on broadway?
I’ll take an unhappy Jekyll and bring a swift end to his life,
I suppose disposing of monsters just makes me feel… Aliiiiiiiiive!

WHO WON?! WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC...
*THUNDER CLAP*
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

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Sweet mother of god this is epic

Quote:

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Originally Posted by YellowNerd

Sweet mother of god this is epic

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I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Have I mentioned how you were my inspiration to actually start writing battles? Don't think I have.

Either way, awesome battle. Frankenstein won, imo.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FoolMeNever

Have I mentioned how you were my inspiration to actually start writing battles? Don't think I have.

Either way, awesome battle. Frankenstein won, imo.

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Thanks, FoolMeNever! That really means a lot. :D

Sup Ren, I agree with FoolMeNever, you encouraged me to write when I first joined.

(Have some rep for that battle btw)

Guess I'll add my name onto that list too.

Awesome. Frankenstein won.

Thanks, folks! It's great to be writing again. I'm happy to have encourage even one of your guys to write

That battle was so awesome! Frankenstein won.

If number two doesn't drop tonight, it will tomorrow! If you didn't catch the hint, it's at the end of the last battle!

EPIC (RENEGADE) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*We see someone flying a plane over the ocean. The camera angle adjusts so show them head-on. Goggles and all, it's...*

AMELIA EARHEART!

*She looks down and realizes her fears are true. She's all out of fuel. She looks down and sees an island she can land on.*

VS!

*The plans hurtles toward the island and a man, alone while his friends look for supplies, sits on the beach. The camera pans to his face...*

GILLIGAN!

*The plane crashes and Gilligan jumps up and begins running toward it to investigate. As he approaches, the cockpit opens and Amelia jumps out, leaving them face-to-face.*

BEGIN!

Gilligan
Oh, hey, there! You okay? You look lost,
Like a girl who’s drunk dad drove her off!
I’ll correct your course, guide you like a Herald,
So you don’t wet your pants in Yellow Peril!
If we’re being honest, lose the jacket, wear a bonnet,
You should be teaching about the list of heroes, not be ON it!
I spent fifteen years stranded, flying your toy was easy,
When we’re done you’ll say “I want to rap. Will you teach me?”

Amelia
A woman can’t learn shit from a Minnow like you,
You may be benign but you’re a bumbling buffoon!
But don’t get Grumby just ‘cause my legend’s ever better,
And my fly rhymes are kicking your ass all the way to Denver!
Be mad that you hung with a whore and couldn’t get in her pants,
You’re so repulsive, you went through four Ginger Grants!
And by the way, if the Doc’s so great, help me understand,
How he can build anything except for a fucking raft!

Gilligan
Your rhymes make Meego “Hah!”, any girl I want I got,
I just take relationships slow like the running in Baywatch!
You seem (A) (L)ittle (F)rightened, I get how it is,
I can tell ‘cause you got a delicate touch to the stick!
You dropped out of Junior College and you’re Meeley bad at this,
The girl in brown walks alone with a face tube for sinusitis!
I make people Howl-and laugh all across a nation,
When you’re long forgotten, I’ll still be in syndication!

Amelia
I’m an awesome woman aviating, doing jobs for men, and
You’ll need a bigger boat if you wanna pick up Mary Ann!
I’m Electra-fying as a rapper, Gil, your show makes me snore,
Three-hour tour? More like a three-season bore!
You ruined all the group’s escapes but still stayed chipper,
You’re the first mate, getting his stones tossed by the Skipper!
I’ll chew you up and spit you out like Beech Nut Gum,
You’ve got ninety-nine problems and THIS bitch is one!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC... (RENEEEEEGADE)... RAP... BATTLESOFHISTORYYY!

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Well there it is! Feel free to leave comments and suggest future battles! See ya' soon, chilluns!

That was great, loved the intro!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*An enormous crowd is gathered in a large performance venue. Seven DJ booths surround the audience.*

WELCOME TO THE DJ BATTLE SUPREME! FEATURING...

*The booths light up one by one as the battlers are introduced*

GRANDMASTER FLASH!

FATBOY SLIM!

DAFT PUNK!

TIESTO!

DAVID GUETTA!

DEADMAU5!

AND...

DJ PAULY D!

BEGIN!


GRANDMASTER FLASH
Let me be the first to pioneer this match
Just like I did when I first began to mix tracks!
I’ve got Five furious fingers that I’ll use to whoop your ass,
So prepare to get cut, mixed up, Superapped and scratched!
If U Wanna Party, you can give up and listen right now,
I’ve got that Ba-Dop_Boom-Bang that’ll punch-phrase your lights out!
Listen up, kids, I’m the Source of the Message,
This is Grandmaster Flash teaching these young punks a lesson!

FATBOY SLIM
Right Here, Right Now, Imma drop this washed-up twat
My weapons of choice are a disk and a mic and you’re getting rocked!
I Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat, always make peeps move their feet,
I’m beggin’ ya’, jump off a bridge, please, honestly!
Your wheels of steel are rusted, you’re back-spinning fast,
And your legend has cross-faded into the past!
I’m the hip-hoppin’ Brit you won’t soon forget,
With a long list of pseudonyms as big as his rep!

DAFT PUNK
Pleeeeeease! You better get back, Slim,
You didn’t do your Homework to secure your win!
These Punks are Daft but we’ve got the Technologic edge
Watch these Robots Rock and drop beats to explode your head!
You’re an old man, so quit! No one wants to listen
To Norman Cook up some loops that our songs piss in!
You’re Soft, you’re worse, you’re slow and weak, there’s nothing to ponder,
We’ll say it One More Time: We rap Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

TIESTO
Hah! You’re lousy cowards with a gimmicky act,
My beats will burn your faces so bad, you’ll Dutch oven your masks!
I’ve got some dark Magik tracks and Amster-dammit, they’re genius,
Keep Searching for the Sunrise, but you’ll never see it!
In My Memory, you were better, you’re falling behind these days,
I’ve got the rocking rhymes to damage you in Extreme Ways!
You won’t Get Lucky in this fight, guys, just stand appalled,
You’re not God’s, you just lost, looks like you’re Humans After All!

DAVID GUETTA
Lemme whip out the Guetta Blaster just to prove I’m better, faster,
All you guys are gettin’ plastered by these tracks I’m getting’ mastered!
(Ohh!) I got the Sexy Bitches! You jokes are getting’ stitches,
You’re no Goliath, but David will sling a rock and hit ya’s!
The World is Mine! Accept it. I’m just plain adept, kids.
I’ve got a Revolver: “Bang Bang” and I’m gonna roll your credits, bitch!
I’ll Pop your Life hard, Get all your fame stole,
There’s no Town Called Paradise,but I’ll stick you in a Black Hole!

DEADMAU5
Hi Friends! LMFAO! You’ve already got me ROFLing
Just give me eight bars and I’ll have your egos toppling!
The fans want moar Mau5 and they’ll motherfucking get it,
My logo’s plastered on Facebook, Twitter and Reddit!
You’re all One Trick Ponies, I’m an icon, ya’ dig?
So haterz Get Scraped and I can troll like no one ever did!
I found a Mau5 in the box and a legend was born, that’s how it happened,
Get ready to see some Ghosts ‘N Stuff, ‘cause you’re all getting flattened!

PAULY D
Ooh! Dude! So not cool!
You’re a mouse in a trap, want that dick cheese too!
This is the Night of My Life! I’m getting’ dudes schooled!
I’ll Beat Dat Beat and then I’ll beat you!
I got that Jersey attitude with the Jersey body,
I’m that jammin’, tan man who’s snatching all the hotties!
All these girls in my room, you know what that means,
I’ve got the ladies all up on it ‘cause they want the D!

*The music stops and the first six DJs stare at Pauly D in disgust. The look around at each other and nod slowly. It appears their common disgust with Pauly has brought them together.*

DEADMAU5
JWoww! LOL, you suck, you’re just a guido and a rookie,
I’ll wrap Some Chords around your neck and kick you in the Snooki!
You starred in a show in a city that you weren’t even from,

DAVID GUETTA
And now Jersey Shore is sorry that they ever let you in, son!
I’ve got One Voice to dis you with, but it so easy, it ain’t fair
You’ve got a serious Situation going on with your hair!

TIESTO:
You had six seasons of drama and a bunch of stupid shit
Lookin’ like an Oompa Loompa who thinks he knows what music is!
This group of DJ Heroes is more than you can handle,

DAFT PUNK
Don’t come and bother us just because your shows got cancelled!
We’re all So Much Betta than a Pauly on the Shore,
The Prime Time of Your Life is all but done for!

FATBOY SLIM
You’ve Come A Long Way… Not! You suck ass,
I’ll mess a punk up with a Slash, Dot Dash!
I’ll leave you Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars,

GRANDMASTER FLASH
Then you can cry all night while we spit Gold bars!
Any girl you got, I could Saddle her fast,
You’re just a chapter in the Adventures of Grandmaster Flash!

GMF: So Pauly,
FBS: Get the fuck out!
DP: You weren’t even close,

T: You tried to step
DG: To real DJs
DM: And you got pwned!

WHO WON?! WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RE-RE-RE-RE-RE-RENEGADE RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

I missed this man.. Welcome back, and amazing rap battles so far ^^

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Epic Doctor X

I missed this man.. Welcome back, and amazing rap battles so far ^^

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Thanks, EDX! It's good to be back.

And guys: Drop those suggestions and I'll have the next battle released soon!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RENEGADE RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*We see a large factory. The doors swing open and a man saunters out. The camera pans up to reveal...*

WILLY WONKA!

*Wonka smirks and walks down to the gate, ready to face whatever challenger he's been matched up against.*

VS...

*The gates swing open, and Wonka looks surprised, not to mention somewhat confused. Dressed in a bright dress with spinning peppermint swirls, it's...*

KATY PERRY!

BEGIN!

Katy Perry:
Purr, Meow! This Kitty’s got claws,
A Killer Queen, ‘bout to beat an old man, y’all!
I’m a California Gurl, so hot I Pop Chips,
And I Roar like a lion! Hold on, I got this.
Six Quintuple-platinum singles,
You’ve got an army of midgets singing tacky jingles!
I’ll eat you up, after all, everything is edible,
Your factory is effin’ dull, my music’s unforgettable!
Quirky philanthropist, gay rights activist,
You’re a lonely recluse with no hope of tapping this!
Every Part of Me’s a boy’s Teenage Dream
I’m so sweet! You could never make eye candy like me!

Willy Wonka:
Oh, you ripped off Candy Land in one video that made no sense?
You must be the BEST person they could have put me up against!
Not! I’ve got flow like a chocolate river: Sweet.
Dark Horse? You seem more like a Black Sheep!
Old Habits Die Hard, which is why you still suck!
And Legends Never Die. Good thing you aren’t one!
You’re a sell-out, committing artistic sins,
The industry controls you like a shitty game of Sims!
I’m spitting out these lines on a sugar rush,
And this little Runt is getting Candy Crushed!
You’ve got no talent, even with your billboard hits,
And the way this battle’s going for you…

Oompa Loompas:
I don’t like the look of it!

Katy Perry:
You just lurk in your factory, invite kids in,
Then give them a tour like Michael Jackson did!
You could never understand any of my work,
I’m a sex symbol that bangs like a firework!
I’ll paint the Hill Red with your blood,
This is the Win That Got Away from you. (What?)
I’m a diva, sure, but you’re a Nerd,
You think your candy’s the best? Now that’s absurd!
Hershey, Mars and Haribo,
Every person on earth prefers one of those!

Willy Wonka:
You’re gonna wanna phone home when I’m done with you,
You had a one-year marriage and got text-dumped by a dude!
I put a meal in gum, I’m a genius, bitch,
You’re the only stupid chick I can really call “sugar tits”!
I feel high like I’m on a fizzy lifting drink,
You’re just crying in a corner ‘cause your music stinks!
Stomping Smurfette is no shocker, I’m on a rhyming Spree,
Watch me stop your gob, Katy, these rhymes are Everlasting!
In fact I’ll lasso you and hang you with a Nerd Rope noose,
Like candy from a baby, Good day, Katy… You lose!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RENEGADE RAP BATTLES OF...
OM NOM NOM...
HISTORY!

Hella.

I just love how you work with puns and references! Epic battle, as always ;)

I’ve got flow like a chocolate river: Sweet.
Dark Horse? You seem more like a Black Sheep!

^ Simple, yet beautiful.

Thanks, guys! I was a bit nervous about this one, since the match-up is more unconventional than most of the ones I use.

That means a lot, EDX! I put a lot of time into researching and writing lines for battles. Coincidentally, that's one of my favorite lines, too.

If any of you guys have and idea for a battle, feel free to leave it! I'd love to write more battles from suggestions!

Well I've always loved the idea of Walt Disney in a battle... How about Disney vs Aesop? Stories vs Fables, mainly focused around animals.. I don't know man, it's up to you xD

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Epic Doctor X

Well I've always loved the idea of Walt Disney in a battle... How about Disney vs Aesop? Stories vs Fables, mainly focused around animals.. I don't know man, it's up to you xD

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I really want to use Disney as well, but I'm not to hot on the MacFarlane suggestion. Maybe I'll read up on Aesop!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cool-The-Renegade

I really want to use Disney as well, but I'm not to hot on the MacFarlane suggestion. Maybe I'll read up on Aesop!

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Agreed, the Disney vs MacFarlane match-up is pretty boring to be honest

I played around with the idea of Walt Disney vs Jim Henson, but I don't really write battles anymore. There's a surprisingly good amount of stuff to rap about for both parties.

Hey, folks! I'm loving the Disney match-ups. He'll be coming up soon, but right now, I have something special in the works.

I say it's special because it has two VERY famous people (one real and one fictional) who I am quite familiar with. I've been wanting to do this for a while, and it was suggested by one of my best forum friends, Top-Hattington. I'll say this, and only this for now: It might take a while. I've got eight seasons to review to make sure I can get some juicy references in.

Before both of those, I'm gonna crank another battle out this week. Any more suggestions?

Since I'm here I might as well throw in a suggestion for a match-up I came up with awhile ago and always really wanted to see done. Captain Ahab (Moby Dick) vs. Quint (Jaws). Literature's great whale hunting captain vs. Cinema's great shark hunting captain.

(And hearing Quint call Ahab "chief" over and over again is just too entertaining to pass up, I think.)

Hey man. I was surprised by how good those battles were. I can't wait to see more of them. Anyway I'm working on John Wilkes Booth vs Edward Kenway on my series so I would like to see someone else doing it as well.

These are honestly the best rap battles I've ever seen. Well done! :)

Hey, would you like to take part in #Nutty fanmade rap battle contest. It would be an honour to have you as my opponent.

Wow, I really love your work, you really got talent, man.

I want to see you do Alfred Hitchcock vs Stanley Kubrick

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Turtlesauce

Wow, I really love your work, you really got talent, man.

I want to see you do Alfred Hitchcock vs Stanley Kubrick

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Thanks, Turtle!

And as a matter of fact, I have an unposted Hitchcock battle that I never edited, so if that doesn't work out, I'd love to use Kubrick!

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Guys! New battle soon! Here's a teaser. ;)

Dr. Horrible vs Sigmund Freud?