Guardians of the Forum

*music plays*
Spam Central, years ago.
Little Clemi Nem sits down in a chair, reading a book.

And then the little duck declared,
"I am no aquatic bird"

As the camera zooms out you see that the young Frenchman is in a hospital. An old man, George HW Bush Sr, his grandpa, his guru, his mentor of the mind, walks out.
George: Clemi get the fuck up, books are for nerds who are nerds.
Clemi: Fuck off grandpa
Clemi walks to his mother's hospital room with a purple colored scar over his right eye.
Zyroda: Clemi...
Clemi: Mom!
Zyroda has a rare disease, Banitus, which makes her a whackjob. She's in the late stages, which means she can shitpost at any time.
George: Zyroda, don't you have a present for Clemi?
Zyroda reaches under her hospital bed and hands Clemi a present with a card attached.
Zyroda: After I've shitposted, I want you to open that.
Clemi hurriedly nodded his head.
Zyroda out stuck her arm.
Zyroda: Clemi, grab my hand.
Clemi stayed where he was.
Zyroda: Grab my hand!
George: Clemi, grab her hand
Clemi turned and sobbed into George's semen stained coat.
Zyroda: Clemi take my- YOU FUCKING VIRGINS. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT REAL RAP. WHITE BOY PUSSIES!
Clemi: Mom no!
Clemi grabbed her hand.
Zyroda: GET YOUR HAND OFF OF ME YOU FUCKING VIRGIN
Clemi ran out of the building, crying. In the courtyard he tripped over a baguette and faceplanted into the thorn bush. After crying, a blue beam shoots from the sky and brings Clemi into the air.
Clemi: Aaaaaand here comes the probing

Guardians of the Forum

This was actually very good. I especially loved Zyroda's shitposting comments. A+

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SaneButStrange

This was actually very good. I especially loved Zyroda's shitposting comments. A+

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And that wasn't even chapter one :P

Why mom why ;-;

11/10 chapter, can't wait to see more

Chapter 1: Everyone Wants Clemi's Giant Balls

The Deep Forum, years later.
Clemi, who was now taller and had a beard, walked across an empty planet. As he got further there was a cave. He was singing some French song about Neil DeGrasse Tyson coming out of pens or something. Finally he made it to a back room with a steel ball floating in it.
Clemi: Hon, hon, hon, I've found it.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson: Why don't you pick up a brain your own size?
Clemi: FUCK OFF NEIL!
Suddenly some robot ass dudes run in holding giant guns.
Sambaba: DROP YOUR BALLS!
Clemi: Kek
Sambaba: YOUR GLORIOUS BALLS BELONG TO OUR LEADER, GONAN THE ACCUSER.
Clemi: Kek
Sambaba: WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT GONAN'S HUNGER FOR YOUR BALLS?
Clemi: Kek
Sambaba: Just tell us who you are!
Clemi: I'm.... Menchie Elsington

*Inside of ELSa's house*
ELSa: My meme senses are tingling! Someone's used my name.

Sambaba: ...
Clemi: You might also know me as Baguette Lord
Sambaba: Who?
Clemi: Fuck this.
Clemi took one soldiers gun and shot everyone except for Sambaba.
Smababa: What? How?
Clemi: 2 slo 4 me
Clemi broke the window and jumped out. He was collapsed in agony on the floor.
Clemi: I probably could've made a better plan.
Sambaba: Toats.
Sambaba jumped out of the window.
Clemi: How?
Sambaba: #Longfallboots #Efficient #2k14
Clemi: DAMN IT
Sambaba: Surrender Frenchy!
Clemi: That sounds so familiar! It feels so right! But fuck you.
Clemi got up, swiped the orb and ran.
Sambaba: I'M RUNNING SO FAST. U MUST DIE
Before Sambaba could catch up, Clemi got into his ship and locked the doors. He was out of breath.
Clemi:
A pink figure came up from the back of his ship.
Faena: Clemi, are you ok?
Clemi: Who are you again?
Faena: I'm... Faena.
Clemi: Oh. I kinda forgot you were here.

LATER

Incoming Call! From Randu
(Introducing Rangernumberx as Yandu)
Clemi: Shit! Don't listen to my ringtone. I... Forgot to change it.

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm yo-
Faena: Let me answer it.
Clemi: Wait no!
Randu's face appeared on the wall.
Randu: Nem, tell me where in the hell you are.
Clemi: You see I would, but I don't really want to.
Randu: God dammit boy.
Clemi: Yeah besides someone named Gonan already wants my ball.
Randu: G-GONAN?

Gonan's Ship

Gonan: NebulAC, I assume you retrieve the ball that was stolen by Faguette Lord?
(Introducing Watch_Gonad as Gonan the Accuser)
NebulAC: As you wish, Gonan.
(Introducing Wario-Gal as NebulAC!)
NebulAC's sister, Hanamora stood off to the side.
(Introducing Jinx as Hanamora!)
Hanamora: Gonan, if you want the job done, have me do it.
NebulAC: But Gonan said th-
Gonan: FUCKING SPEAK OVER ME AGAIN NEBULAC, SEE WHAT HAPPENS

Randu: I'mma fuck you up boy.
Clemi: K

On Nag o Ram, a friendly planet.

(Introducing Rocket, King of Pickles as the voice of Rocket and Wumbo as the voice of Wumb!)
Rocket: Let's see what we have here.
Wumb: I am Wumb. (Why not?)
Rocket grabbed a pair of binoculars. He zoomed in on a child.
Rocket: Ha, virgin.
Rocket zoomed in on a teenage girl
Rocket: Ha, slut.
Rocket zoomed in on a turtle.
Rocket: Wow look at that fucking hot turtle with spiky blue hair. I'd totally go gay for him.
Nudge nudge, wink wink.
Wumb: I am Wumb. (I'm gonna quote you on that)
Rocket: You better not.
Wumb: I am Wumb. (Too late.)

Inside of a shop

Clemi: And I give you my ball.
Shop Owner: That's a nice ball. How much do you want for it.
Clemi: Well judging by the guy that said Gonan wanted it, I w-
Shop Owner: GONAN? NIGGA GTFO.
Outside of the shop Hanamora was there. She swiped the ball from Clemi. Rocket and Wumb joined in on what turns into some shit out of Tom and Jerry.
*Fast Forward*
Corpsman Adon: Y'all Nigs better freak out, cuz u under arrest SON.
Rocket: Fascists

Prison Background Check Room

Adon: Subject 1, Clemi Nem. Also known as Baguette Lord.
Clemi: I n33d my lawyer
Adon: Subject 2, Rocket. The genetic accident of illegal splicing done with a human, a raccoon and, oddly enough, a jar of dill pickle slices.
Rocket: Fuck off.
Adon: Subject 3, Hanamora. She's the daughter of Sanos so I guess that makes her responsible for Gonan's crimes.
Hanamora: Seriously, I don't really get the logic in that.
Adon: And Subject 4, Wumb. A Tree who guards Rocket and is secretly tsundere for Rocket's raccoon nuggets.
Wumb: I am Wumb. (Where'd you get that information from?)
Rocket: And murder is legal in this prison because fuck you,
Inmate: I WANNA KILL GAMORA BECAUSE PLOT POINT!
Inmate: I WANT TO KILL HER SO THIS CAN HELP BUILD HER CHARACTER!
Inmate: WILL SHE TRADE ME NOODS FOR SMASH DEMO CODE?
Inmate: WHY ARE WE YELLING
Rocket: Seriously. Murder is legal.
Clemi: Wat
Wumb: I am Wumb. (TAWWWWWWWWWW)
Rocket: :wat:
A giant blue alien walks up to Clemi.
Clemi: 'Ello chap, can I help you?
Alien: I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MY BITCH. AND THEN ONCE YOU GAIN MY RESPECT IM GONNA FUCK THE DAYLIGHT OUT OF YOUR PRETTY BOY ANUS AND THEN RIP YOUR FACE OFF AND USE IT AS A JACKING OFF NAPKIN THAT I WILL ONE DAY USE IN HONOR OF YOUR GRUESOME MURDER.
Clemi: As much as I'd love to do that... HELP! I NEED AN ADULT!

KNEEL BEFORE SANOS

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SaneButStrange

KNEEL BEFORE SANOS

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no fak u

Damn...I honestly hope I'm a background character

Also...TFS4TW

Lol this is awesome as hell xD Keep it going

Add a spaces after each character talks imo so it doesn't look clumpy but it's great :mrgreen: