Re: My need for acceptance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guest
I know it is general for a teen to kinda need acceptance, but I think I have a small problem. I have a good amount of friends in real life, so thats not a major challenge or anything, but occasionally there will be someone I don't really get along with and that always grinds my gears for some reason, and I really don't know why. I don't feel like I care but it bugs me. And then there are the forums. I'm accepted very well on the forums and have made friends with lots of you and I know I have good friends here, but there will be the occassional time when I mess up a little and someone gets mad at me, and sometimes its my forum friends. And that really bugs me. Why do I wanted to be accepted 100%. I am always myself and really never care what people think, but for some reason it really bothers me when someone in real life or on the forums dislikes me cuz Im not perfect
Well first things first you are not alone, I struggled with this same type of thing for a bit though from the way it sounds it was not as extreme, but my ex she had a constant need for acceptance and it actually helped drive us apart when she thought I wasn't accepting things that I was or what not.
The only real advice I can give here is you just need to realize not everyone will like you, its an unfortunate reality. Its not because you've done anything wrong. Your amazing, your just being yourself and whoever you are you are awesome I gurantee it. Everyone is. Even the people I dislike are awesome because they are special and unique and just themselves.
So if someone doesn't get along with you its their loss man. You just don't fit together. Everyone has a unique style. Some work together some don't and thats the reality of it.
And if you make a mistake try to correct it. In general 99% of the world is forgiving so if you upset someone, on the forums or in real life and its bothering you find the issue fix it and apologize, your true friends will always forgive you no matter what. Hell I've learned that even those who hate you can forgive you for your mistakes, I've had to apologize to my enemies more than once but people are generally accepting and forgiving of others mistakes realizing they are not perfect. There is no reason to work yourself up over it.
Re: My need for acceptance
Re: My need for acceptance
Just trying to help, I know its just words on a screen dunno if I really ever help anyone but I try.
Re: My need for acceptance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gh0sT
Just trying to help, I know its just words on a screen dunno if I really ever help anyone but I try.
I thought it was nice and helped a bit
Re: My need for acceptance
Sadly I am not a psychologist, I've taken the classes but haven't finished my minor in Psych yet so I can't give real advice. I give generic advice based off my life, but as usual I recommend you find a psychologist or councillor at your school who you can trust to talk to about this they would be much more helpful than I.
Re: My need for acceptance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gh0sT
Sadly I am not a psychologist, I've taken the classes but haven't finished my minor in Psych yet so I can't give real advice. I give generic advice based off my life, but as usual I recommend you find a psychologist or councillor at your school who you can trust to talk to about this they would be much more helpful than I.
Not really a "councillor" kinda person to be blunt and honest
and thats cool that your majoring in pysch!
Re: My need for acceptance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gh0sT
Sadly I am not a psychologist, I've taken the classes but haven't finished my minor in Psych yet so I can't give real advice. I give generic advice based off my life, but as usual I recommend you find a psychologist or councillor at your school who you can trust to talk to about this they would be much more helpful than I.
Not really a "councillor" kinda person to be blunt and honest
and thats cool that your majoring in pysch!
Neither am I so I understand.
Also thanks got to wait till after the Army to finish my degree...but than its FREEEEE :drinking:
Re: My need for acceptance
People's want to be accepted is completely natural (which I'm sure has already been stated). So it's not uncommon that you want to be accepted by everyone. Have a traumatic event happened to you? Do you remember it, or was it told to you (like something that happened when you were still below the age of about 3-4)?
Re: My need for acceptance
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAWLzoR
People's want to be accepted is completely natural (which I'm sure has already been stated). So it's not uncommon that you want to be accepted by everyone. Have a traumatic event happened to you? Do you remember it, or was it told to you (like something that happened when you were still below the age of about 3-4)?
Not really any traumatic, I was unpopular-ish at my school when I was little, then I moved schools and am really popular at both schools for the most part
Re: My need for acceptance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAWLzoR
People's want to be accepted is completely natural (which I'm sure has already been stated). So it's not uncommon that you want to be accepted by everyone. Have a traumatic event happened to you? Do you remember it, or was it told to you (like something that happened when you were still below the age of about 3-4)?
Not really any traumatic, I was unpopular-ish at my school when I was little, then I moved schools and am really popular at both schools for the most part
I have two hypotheses.
1) Because you were unpopular at your first school, you feel like you have to make it up.
2) Because you're used to the popularity, you want more and more people to like you.
But again, those are just hypotheses, meaning that no testing has been done, and there's absolutely no way to prove if those two things are actually true.
