Idea: Elsa vs. Sub-Zero is a fun suggestion that I've seen a ton of times before, and so it's a pretty good starting match-up for a big royale. The characters picked for the royale are fairly random, but I think that works OK here. Gives the royale more of a crazy personality.
Elsa:
The blood shines bright on the asshole tonight, not a decent verse to be seen
This is a decent line. I like how the verse opens in this way.
A kingdom of sub-par rappers and above them, I'm the queen.
Meh, this line might've been better if she was the last person in the royale.
*beat drops*
My movie broke records, reviews flooded youtube
Generic boast.
I'm a queen at spitting cold raps, while you're just a noob
Generic boast and dis.
I made a frozen castle of my own you couldn't make a snowflake
Doesn't really work since Sub-Zero obviously can make a snowflake.
You can suck Olaf's carrot dick, go get a throat ache!
Dick jokes are fairly risky, either they're clever and they really hit or they just miss. This one misses for me.
I'll painfully end your life, opposite Dr. Kevorkian
I don't see how Dr. Kevorkian has much to do with either of these.
My verses leave a sting, like the ones you got from scorpion!
This is clever.
Its time to see your pathetic defeat
Bow down to the girl, bow down to me
Referenceless.
Let it go! You fucking wimp try to take me in a fight
This line is really generic.
I'll spit lyrical blizzards at you all night!
I've heard this kind of line a lot before.
I spit in a league of pros, you belong with the cons
Seems referenceless.
Trying to take the OG Queen in a battle? You've fallen into the wrong Hannes!
Aside from the misspelling of Hans, decent pun.
Score: 7/10
Sub Zero:
You pussied out at a party leaving your shitty town unattended
Let a whacked out prince dictate and leave your only sister offended
You went and focused on the drama, you dirty whore
These are all fact statey, no real jokes.
You almost killed your sister now you almost killed Rule 34
This is a good joke.
I fought for my family and ended up taking spines
You turned your back on yours so now I drop verbal mines!
The comparison here could've made for a good joke, but this is just fact stating.
That sister of yours would've made a queen for a better history
but now- Scorpion Wins! Flawless Victory!
Both of these lines are references that didn't really make any real jokes.
Actually it was your sister who got married in a day
The wording is confusing and I don't see much of a joke here.
Quality audiences went to see Big Hero 6 anyways
Definitely could've been a better Big Hero 6 joke. This is just a quick mention.
It was ice to meet you but now this must stop
This pun's been done before.
People in the future will call your movie a big flop
You got hunted down you cuntish clown, now are you pissed off?
Simple insults without references.
Cause battling me, you've got worse luck than Christoph
Not bad, but Kristoff's not really known for bad luck so it doesn't get a big laugh.
Score: 6/10
Santa Claus:
Santa has come here to solve things my own way
A dumb video game character and a frozen slut represent my holiday?
Hardly references.
I'm the ringleader of being jolly, you both are just clowns
The ringleader clown thing is kinda clever, but I don't really get what the circus has to do with anyone here.
I'm going Christmas Ham, Santa Claus is going to town!
This is probably my favorite line in the battle. Nice twists on Christmas cliches.
Anything you can do, every dis will miss
Two modern culture losers can't beat the icon of Christmas!
Not references.
Score: 6.5/10
Jack Frost:
Shut up fatass, I replaced you in no time
I spit sick flows but you got no rhymes
Bland and referenceless.
You need to take a chill pill before I chill you
Nice. Not really a specific reference, but Jack Frost is kind of just a symbol of all of winter so I'll take the joke.
No one wants old and ugly compared to hot and new
Referenceless and jokeless.
You done Jacked up St. Nick, the end is near*
This line is OK. The pun isn't brilliant but it's alright.
And your sack is so big because you only come once a year!
I think I've heard this one before, but not enough for it to feel like a cliché here. So I like it.
Score: 8/10
[B}Coke Polar Bear[/B]:
I can't bear your rhymes, I'll do better ones if you let me
Cheesy but I like it.
Cause you all blow more than the taste of pepsi
Decent way to reference the Coke-Pepsi feud in.
I warm hearts with my ads, you do nothing but rake in cash
I'll take a break from witty schemes to come and kick your ass
No references or jokes.
After I maul you all it will be a silent night
I like this reference a lot, despite being slightly vague.
You're the epitome of shitty, I'm the epitome of marketing done right
Generic dis and boast.
Score: 8.5/10
Father Frost:
I russian to the battle to see that you all made a scary fail
Heard this one a lot before. It works as an opening line OK I guess.
You're all modern garbage, I'm a classic fairy tale.
Super generic.
Elsa, Jack animate yourselves a life.
Not brilliant but funny.
Santa Cock stop getting mounted by children and go to your wife!
I've heard way better jokes about this subject.
Mr. Bear, in my country we would kill you in a minute
Cool little way to connect the characters.
OG Father Frost joined in because he knew that he would win it!
Disappointing finishing line, no reference.
Score: 8/10
Overall: Definitely a mixed bag, with some legitimate laughs and some eyerolls. Remember to put a reference or dis into every line, each one should feel like something that people would enjoy even out of a rap battle context. 7/10
Elsa's Best Line: The blood shines bright on the asshole tonight, not a decent verse to be seen
Elsa's Worst Line: Let it go! You fucking wimp try to take me in a fight
Sub Zero's Best Line: You almost killed your sister now you almost killed Rule 34
Sub Zero's Worst Line: People in the future will call your movie a big flop
Santa Claus' Best Line: I'm going Christmas Ham, Santa Claus is going to town!
Santa Claus' Worst Line: Anything you can do, every dis will miss
Jack Frost's Best Line: You need to take a chill pill before I chill you
Jack Frost's Worst Line: I spit sick flows but you got no rhymes
Coke Polar Bear's Best Line: After I maul you all it will be a silent night
Coke Polar Bear's Worst Line: I'll take a break from witty schemes to come and kick your ass
Father Frost's Best Line: Elsa, Jack animate yourselves a life.
Father Frost's Worst Line: OG Father Frost joined in because he knew that he would win it!
Final Results:
Elsa: 7/10
Sub Zero: 6/10
Santa Claus: 6.5/10
Jack Frost: 8/10
Coke Polar Bear: 8.5/10
Father Frost: 8/10
Why They Win: Basically the most references and jokes of the other verses. It was a fairly close call between the last 3 though.
Total Score: 51/70
Pele Vs. OJ Simpson