The Sellbots:
Greetings, fellow bots! We’re the Sellbots here to battle,
Fillery opening.
the OCD money freaks, some overachievers and some fancy golf prattle!
More referency than jokey.
Glad Hander: We’d love to hand it to ya! That deserves a nice slap on the back!
This at least has a double meaning in rap battle context. Kind of like Oprah’s seat line.
The Mingler: We’re not interested in your charges, Sharky! We’ll Pummel you, and that’s a fact!
Decent reference.
Mover and Shaker: Shaking this battle up with my quaking and shaking,
Probably a pretty obvious pun but it still works OK.
been an all-star rapper while you three types were sitting around and debating!
Could be used against most people it seems like.
The Sellbots: You want to shift, Spinny Steve? Here, try our Mingler’s paradigm!
Kinda clever, if I get the line.
Two-Face: Up against us? You’re gonna have to get the Sellbot EVIL EYE!
More referency than jokey.
Cold Caller: Our disses are almost as cold as my double-talking tactics!
Also pretty clever for a “cold rhymes” line.
Telemarketer: You need small business loans? Well, you can have them!
Not much of an insult.
The Sellbots: Worthy of our throne? We’re the original HQ owners outside of the garden!
Also not really joke.
Name Dropper: Looks like you cashed up! Time to steal your credit charges?
Pun is alright.
Did I mention I know Sir Max?
The Sellbots: We’re on the top of the bracket!
Mover and Shaker: You’re in my spot, Law-phonies! So move it, or lose it!
I think I get this reference, and it’s not bad.
You feel a little shaken, need of some fixing up in rhyme!
Decent puns.
The Sellbots: Fortunately for you three loser types, your shifts are just clipped-on paradigms!
Kinda similar to some of the earlier lines in this.
Factory Foreman:
Watching over these failure cogs smoking on a factory line.
I’m the foreman of this rap-machine, I’ll eat you all up like lunchtime!
Simple threat.
The Downsizer can talk fast? Well then rap fast to this!
(fast) You’re a bean counting, downsizing disgrace of mankind who claims that he’s a god although he’s really a bitch!
Using a fast rap here is a good choice. Even if the line itself isn’t much of a joke.
Score: 7/10
The Cashbots:
We’re the Cashbots, taking in your debt and replacing it with levies!
We’ll bounce your checks and snap your necks! I hope your Seller-bots are ready!
Some decent puns and flows in here.
Bean Counter: I’ve been researching these three phonies and counting their beans,
but it seems to me like you’re gonna have to PAY through fucking with me!
Kind of obvious for cashbots, but still good.
Loan Shark: Not interested in my charges? Well, two can play hardball!
I’ll chomp and bite you and scatter your remains like a book of “Where’s Waldo?”
Good references.
Money Bags: It’s not all about the money? The chunky, fresh money!
Call me Donald Trump,
Bean Counter: ‘Cuz you’re all getting FIRED tonight, sonnies!
This pop culture reference works alright, feels kind of random but not too random.
Penny Pincher: Pinching all your pennies, because unlike you two, I actually care,
Not really sure how “pinching your pennies” is a threat.
The Cashbots: About how much money we’ve spent and we do it quite fairly!
Not much of a joke.
Cold Caller? You’re too cold! Mind if we get you an ice pack or two?
Confusing. Why would you get someone an ice pack if they’re already “too cold”?
Short Change: Freeze us all you want, but as a matter of fact, we’re going to defeat you!
The freezing reference isn’t really joked about.
Number Cruncher: We didn’t cash up! We dried in like those goji berries you want to sell!
Decent pun.
You know Sir Max?
The Cashbots: I bet you break the law as well!
Meh, not really a joke.
Loan Shark: Me and my bros are tight, wad, you’re all just tightwads!
Pretty good.
Tightwad: Straw-Fly nihilists won’t make it
The Cashbots: Through the money squad!
”Nihilist” isn’t really an insult.
The Mint Supervisor:
I am the Mint Supervisor. Care me to say more?
I’ll beat out your little Mr. Hollywood’s with just one simple FORE!
Took me a second, but if this is the pun I think it is, it’s alright.
Sell me goji’s all you want, but the only goji’s you’ll get,
are the mary janes you smoke when your life’s in major debt.
Can’t say I get this one.
Score: 8/10
The Lawbots:
We’re the Lawbots! Too quick on the law, arresting you all for foul rapping!
Bouncing our checks? We’ll sue you for ranting and ranting about your yapping!
Fun law puns.
Ambulance Chaser: Loan Shark, Loan Shark, causing people to lose their trust?
Back Stabber: You stabbed people in the back, but that’s my job, you bub!
Pretty obvious, but funny.
I’ll file you a restraining order! Don’t come 20 miles near me!
Spin Doctor: Want to file a complaint? Well, you’re gonna have to get through me!
Not really jokes.
I do want to shift, thank you very much! SHIFT YOU ALL TO BITS!
Pretty good threat.
Ambulance Chaser: Want to call you Donald Trump? No wonder why you’re balding!
Good comeback.
Legal Eagle: (CAAWW!) Dropping fresh rhymes so cool they make all your rhymes deemed illegal!
I don’t see why having cool rhymes would make someone else’s illegal.
These medieval Bowgart’s couldn’t dare come near us or else we’ll pull you off the market, BALD EAGL-
wait! I already am one and I’ll have this battle won for me and my peeps!
This eagle interruption gag doesn’t really make any points for or against either side.
The Lawbots: These numbers you’re crunching cannot compare to the medical troubles we’ve caused in just one week!
A little fact statey.
Big Wig: I’m the big wig of the block, beating me is illegal in this nation.
You’re all due for jury duty! Time for you all to be arrested!
Doesn’t really rhyme, and these are more referency than jokey.
Double Talker: Gee, like I was glad to see the hander,
Bottom Feeder: Until we realized that it
Bloodsucker: Wasn’t a very ordinary sight!
Not really insulting or boasting.
Justice will be served on this court,
The Lawbots: And on the mic!
I like this pun.
The District Attorney’s Clerk:
(sighs) You all don’t understand on the road we’ll pave.
But instead of course, you had to bring our big title to our graves.
The toon forces are getting stronger and their devices are way smarter!
So what are we even doing here? Come on, we have to fight harder!
These lines are mostly platitudey.
Score: 7.75/10
The Bossbots:
These lower tier cogs think they’re so sophisticated because they have the skills to make
us crying and leaving? Well then, we’ll pummel you down like a birthday cake!
You don’t really pummel down birthday cakes.
We’re the true OG’s of the game! The original masters of the game.
We’ll rewrite you in time and then school you all in fresh rhymes to get us all to fame!
This flow is weird in my head, and the wording is kind of confusing.
Head Hunter: I’m bringing home your heads for dinner! Feeling a little shrinkage?
Bloodsucker? Suck on this! You’ll need a lot of legal help to survive this!
I like these puns.
Corporate Raider: These three blind types over yonder glen,
can go despise a sweet maiden, you’ll never get here again!
I like this reference.
Downsizer: (fast) Making my way to the bossing department
of these redundant types trying to step into my boss market!
These illegible, fallible, government scams,
ain’t nothing compared to the skills we have!
Focuses more on flow than clever lines.
Bean Counter, don’t get your fancy hat in a knot,
like Fort Knox on the door of the money that you bought,
Pretty cool puns.
illegally from black markets across the CogNation!
The Big Cheese: You’re really teeing us off!
The Bossbots: Need a bit more information?
Reference isn’t quite jokey enough.
The Club President:
You wannabe warrior therapist! I’ve got you in a barricade!
Not the best joke, but it’s at least a reference.
You can’t sue me! After all, we’re two members of the same robot race.
Not a dis or insult really.
I’m the big bad boss of this big bad battle rap.
Tell your bones to stay in your shell, bitch! Out-rap to that!
Good.
Score: 7.5/10
The Director of Ambush Marketing:
ENOUGH! I’ve had it with all you pesky servant mice!
Good opener.
I’m the true alpha boss! So you can all go run away and hide in fright.
Pretty generic.
Club President? No, thank you! As a director, I’m cutting you out!
Mint supervisor? Get a chewable mint because your raps are quite foul!
I like these two puns.
These Sellbots over here can go back to telemarketing the toons!
Get beaten up by them all day in night with no fragile review!
Good.
Cashbots can go back to charging people mortgage rates on their real estate!
Not really an insult.
But the only thing real about you eight is that you can’t seem to overpopulate!
Not really a joke.
Lawbots, get a grip! Law school is all over for you!
You’re acting all snooty and act like you have a higher IQ?
Pretty generic.
The best you’ve got in your systems are level 12 skeletons!
WHILE I’M THE LEVEL 50 WITH 2560 HP WITH SUPREME MARKETING!
OK comparison line.
Come on! We’re a team, guys! Let’s not overreact about it!
Any Toon who steps to us, we’ll give some positive reinforcement!
OK story-teller.
This battle is pointless, so let’s bury the hatchet!
So what if the game crashes? It’s still fun around the planet!
Not really jokes.
Score: 7.75/10
Sir Max:
(evil laughter Fun around the planet? Not this time!)
I am Sir Max, the maximum owner of your mints unstoppably!
The evil land-owner of all your intellectual property!
SO GET BACK TO WORK! This is my time you’re wasting!
No real jokes.
I didn’t steal you all for billions so you could play around debating!
You no longer belong to Disney, you’re all just products to me!
Decent parodies of the original lines.
SO DO WHAT YOU DO BEST AND EXPLODE DOWN FOR ME!
”Explode down” is weird wording.
Toons wanting to do Storm Sellbot but have to beat Oldman? I WON’T LET THEM!
Glitches causing my game to crash? I WON’T FIX THEM!
Kinda fact statey.
If I can steal Mickey Mouse’s ears, Donald’s Ducks boat and still be off the hook,
than it’s obvious that the winner is none other than me, you kooks!
Could’ve set up a more clever line, but instead it sets up something that pretty much anyone could use.
CLEARLY, there’s NOBODY near me!
I’m OWNING this battle! But wait, I REWROTE YOUR WHOLE SERIES!
I’m not sure what owning the battle has to do with rewriting the series.
So get right onto the Toontown bandwagon, cogs, but don’t rock it!
I’ll put you all in a sweatshop with no green in your pockets!
Sweatshop joke works, since it’s cogs.
I don’t care if I’m a criminal, I’m only doing it for myself!
NOW JOIN ME NOW, FILTHY PEASANTS! OR YOU’RE ALL GOING TO ROBO-HELL!
Not too much of a reference as far as I know.
Score: 7/10
Overall: There are some real signs of improvement in this battle. Each verse has some references and some jokes about said references. Still a few filler lines, or references without jokes/jokes without references, but this was still pretty good. 7.5/10
The Sellbots’ Worst Line: Greetings, fellow bots! We’re the Sellbots here to battle
The Sellbots’ Best Line: We’re not interested in your charges, Sharky! We’ll Pummel you, and that’s a fact!
The Cashbots’ Worst Line: It’s not all about the money? The chunky, fresh money!
The Cashbots’ Best Line: I’ll chomp and bite you and scatter your remains like a book of “Where’s Waldo?”
The Lawbots’ Worst Line: (CAAWW!) Dropping fresh rhymes so cool they make all your rhymes deemed illegal!
The Lawbots’ Best Line: Justice will be served on this court, and on the mic!
The Bossbots’ Worst Line: We’re the true OG’s of the game! The original masters of the game.
The Bossbots’ Best Line: like Fort Knox on the door of the money that you bought,
The Director of Ambush Marketing’s Worst Line: I’m the true alpha boss! So you can all go run away and hide in fright.
The Director of Ambush Marketing’s Best Line: Mint supervisor? Get a chewable mint because your raps are quite foul!
Sir Max’s Worst Line: CLEARLY, there’s NOBODY near me!
Sir Max’s Best Line: I’ll put you all in a sweatshop with no green in your pockets!
Total Score:
The Sellbots: 7/10
The Cashbots: 8/10
The Lawbots: 7.75/10
The Bossbots: 7.5/10
The Director of Ambush Marketing: 7.75
Sir Max: 7/10
Score: 45/70
Yeah, it's not one of my proudest raps.