Presidential Reviews

Here's my review of BKR's Great Debate.

Spoiler: 

Donald Trump:
Let’s start off this debate with the GOP winner.
Really basic opener.
Cook up a canine up like it’s a Asian takeout dinner.
Kind of funny when it's Donald Trump saying it.
I’ll wage war against the immigrants if you vote me the president.
Don’t listen to this angry teen! He’s just in his adolescence.
These aren't really boasts or disses.
Now, Victor, I hate you more than I hate ObamaCare.
I never really liked these "I hate you as much as" or "I hate you more than" lines since they aren't really disses. They're just saying "I don't like you", which is kind of a given in a rap battle.
I’ll build a wall around this druggie and make him climb into despair.
Decent reference.
You made billions off of fake shit? I’ll lev ‘em like a ski lift.
Also an OK reference.
You think you’re so equipped, but you get your supplies from the thrift!
Fact statey.
Now let’s take a look in the Nazi elephant in the room.
I don't really get it. Why is he an elephant in the room?
You made a small loan of a million Jews cry to their doom?
Could've been a funny joke here, but Hitler killed a lot more than a million Jews.
HA! I’ll do the same with the Mexicans and the Muslims.
Not a dis or boast.
Reap what you sow, Bill, your chances of victory are grim.
Is this a reference? I can't really tell
You caused Weirdmageddon? I’ll cause World War III!
Funny.
How can you beat me if you got into Ford’s mind ILLEGALLY?
Could've been a clever joke with illegal immigrants here, but this one is worded awkwardly. Why would breaking the law make it harder for someone to beat you?
So shut it, Illuminati wannabe! I’ve had enough with this beef!
Kind of an obvious joke.
Be like my supporters and HAIL TO THE CHIEF!
OK.

Well, I’ve already won just like I won Virginia.
Kind of random. Trump's won a lot of states.

Growing exponentially? Well, this’ll show ya!
Filler.

A rapist? Well, I guess you’re Juan step closer to defeat!
Funny.

Well, you got killed off by a group of teens!
Fact statey.

Okay, Walt! It’s time for me to lay down the law!
Filler.

Overall: 13.5/20

Adolf Hitler:
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I am ADOLF HITLER!
Pointless.
Your Mexican guilt by association will blow you right out of the picture!
Not really an insult.
You’re gonna build a Great Wall like Emperor Qin did to China?
This line also doesn't really have a point. It's a reference but it doesn't really do anything with the reference.
Do your worst! I’ll just spear ya like your opponents in your flabby mangina.
This wording is just confusing.
I’m Ted Cruzing to victory, while you’re stuck in the Sanders!
I like these puns.
I run Germany with an iron fist, so you’re guaranteed to get severed!
A reference without a joke.
I’ll get Mussolini and Hirohito to Axis around my in my defense!
Not too much of a pun.
Just comparing me to another person is a federal offense!
There's a potential for a joke here, but it isn't a federal offense
Now, Maxwell, you claim to have slaves working hard time for ya?
Driving all fancy with your cufflinks and your Toontown Porsche?
These lines are rather pointless.
HA! You’re just a nerd illegally stealing Jesse Schell’s material!
Fact statey.
A nasty JEW nonetheless, so this Crystal Rap will be your burial!
No jokes about these references.
You want US to get back to WORK? Kid, I own this rap industry.
Pretty filler.
From Hugo Boss to IKEA, I’ll make your life a living misery.
Not much of a joke.
Robo-Hell? Yeah, is it led by that Futurama Devil too?
Not an insult.
How could this Kike be proud of himself if his eyes are baby blue?
Isn't Hitler supposed to like people with blue eyes?

Yeah, YouTube B-List Toontowner, Joey19982!
Reference without a joke.

Someone call the pound! I’m beating this bitch like beastiality!
Decent, could kind of be used against any animalistic character though.

Small fry? You’re short of a Happy Meal!
Funny.

Look into Der Führer’s Face as you realize your mistakes!
Barely a reference.

Overall: 12/20

Sir Max:
Sir Max is coming in being the defendant to my company!
I guess this is kind of a clever reference.
Owner of the Toontown Central, will put you in massive monopolies!
Same as last line.
Comparing me to a Jew? You’re more scummy than my users.
Why is Sir Max suddenly anti-Semitic?
Mind-control ya with my hyper graphics so that you’ll Anne Frankly be the loser!
I've heard this pun overused a lot.
Your obsession with the Alps will only send ya far away!
Doesn't really make sense.
Only got one ball, and you’re struck out, so to say!
Kind of too similar to Babe Ruth's line, but still decent.
The rest of you better run away and hide from my power!
Filler.
Or else you’ll end up like the Jews: Gassed in death showers!
Really obvious line.
I don’t even need to dis knowing that I run this whole show.
You’re all just faux hosts trying to win, but you’re too slow!
Filler.
There’s still nobody near me! I’m at the top of the Fearamid!
OK pun.
Tell that nacho bitch to go right back down to the dollar pyramid!
Rhyming "fearamid" with "pyramid" is pretty uncreative.
Hop onto my train, boys, but don’t pull the gas lever!
Make a deal with me and you’re in my possession forever!
Not really any sort of subtle joke.
You’ll be safe under my hands! NOT! I’ll bury you alive!
It’s safe to say that these four clowns won’t survive on MY company time!
OK reference.

Now please, let’s not hunt for heads, that’s my job to do!
There's probably a reference here I don't get.

Shut up! We won’t be seeing you real soon!
Filler.

Yeah? Makes sense since your arch enemy’s Cave Johnson!
Funny, but not exactly an insult.

Overall: 12.25/20

Victor Krane:
Oh shut it, you big-mouthed freak from Maryland!
Generic insult.
Fight against this crane, and you’re in for some pummeling.
Filler.
The only Donald I care for is that Hal Sparks fellow!
Funny.
Mess with me and I’ll eradicate this flabby marshmallow.
Generic insult.
Max tried to convince the Sellbots that you were their boss.
HA! I’ve got a wallet thicker than that fucker Luke Ross!
Funny.
Grab all your codeworks, and grab your accessories,
losing to this villain is only a mandatory necessity!
Probably a reference I'm missing.
Now the cipher’s gonna get cracked like I’m Vailskibum94.
Good reference.
Sweep a yellow nacho’s ass all over my mansion floor.
Could've been a better nacho joke but this is funny.
You’re a Flatland destroyer, while I’m a Bionic Excavator!
No real insults or boasts.
Try to make gravity fall but you’ll be dropping like an elevator!
Pretty good.
You’ll be Hector-gone before you even spit your first verse.
Good.
You’re a big Time Baby, I’ll leave your ass in a Headhunters hearse!
Funny references.
Gee, it’s not a laugh when I recharge my powers.
Barely a reference.
I’m the villain of the millennium, you’re all just phantoms of the hour!
Not sure if "phantoms of the hour" is referencing something I don't get

You got beat by a Russian Mario!
The joke was pretty much already done by ERB.

I won’t naturally capitulate to a large-ass small fry!
"large ass small fry"?

S-1! Get me my nukes so I can beat this crazy man!
Not really a joke.

Overall: 16/20

Bill Cipher:
Greetings, weaklings, I must inform you won’t survive.
Filler.
What’s a Graham Cracker got against the Triangle Demon Guy?
Not really a boast or insult.
You better Dr. Gao away before the weirdness starts to kick in.
Decent pun.
Take down your entire colony while your life starts diminishing!
Not much of a joke.
Manic, power-hungry, two words to describe me.
Not even the Gravity Falls natives could prophecise to survive me!
Too fact statey.
Things are getting a little weird, things geddon a little tense.
I like this pun, took me a second to get.
Yes, I’m from another dimension, but I’m come to liberate your deaths!
These two statements seem unrelated.
A kid gone insane with power due to his TTR?
Please! Joe’s not even capable of driving a Goofy Speedway car.
Good reference.
Child slaves that he owns? Big as a lie of him being a sir!
OK references.
Go back to your AMV’s, Ziolkowski, ‘cuz I just left you Fire Burnt!
Funny.
Now, let’s focus in on the Donald, thinking that he’s got the nominee?
Just face it, even Kasich could do better than what you claim to be!
Could've been a better Kasich joke.
And I’ll Goebbels up any fool who tries to mess with my oppression!
Kind of dumb, but funny-dumb.
Leave you under maximum depression, because Fantasy Court is in session!
Good.

You claim you hate all the immigrants, but they’re all working for you!
Fact statey.

Score: 15.75/20

Walt Disney:
Alright, listen up you corrupt business freaks!
I make more money in a second that you five make in a week!
Generic.
The founder of Mickey Mouse, the founder of a real empire!
Fact statey.
Beating the front-runner! Gonna show him what it’s like to be fired!
Decent.
Your hair’s even faker than me treating my employees well.
Little self-dissy.
I will throw your fancy ass tower down to my Chernabog hell!
I’ll condemn you like Frollo and impale you like Bambi’s hunter!
Nice references in these two lines.
When you’re up against a merchandise god, you know you’re going under!
Not really a joke.
In my pocket, I own Spiderman, Darth Vader, Kermit,
ESPN, Gabe Duncan, and the world that I reside in!
Fact statey.
Not to mention I own Krane and Bill Cipher too.
Kind of clever, didn't think about that until now.
So don’t go all weird on me, I’LL JUST GO WEIRD ON YOU!
This line is just weird.
I’m looking for a new spot, you can all be my Imagineers!
Could've been a better joke about this.
Going up like a Space Mountain since I started to come here!
Pretty good Space Mountain reference.
You’re all PEASANTS when compared to me! That goes for you too, Max!
Generic insult.
Keep rewriting your shit series, I’ll just purchase my rights back!
Not really a reference.

I’m in no mood for an interview! This isn’t no Siriusxm Town Hall!
Decent reference.

I’ll just rally my supporters to make yours look like a fruitcake!
Barely a reference.

What was that again? You tried to get the power to overthrow “The Man?”
Feels like a set up for a joke that doesn't come.

You got destroyed by an old man! I CAN’T BE DESTROYED, I’M ALWAYS ON THE SCENE!
Fact statey.

Overall: 15/20

Overall Battle: There are certainly more than a handful of lines I really like in this battle. Most of the references just don't hit comedic bullseyes, or even really attempt jokes. Plus, a lot of the references are pretty obvious jokes that could've been more creative with the reference. Still, this was decent, and pretty fun to read. 14/20

Donald Trump's Worst Line: Now let’s take a look in the Nazi elephant in the room.
Very odd.
Donald Trump's Best Line: I’ll build a wall around this druggie and make him climb into despair.
A little obvious, but still the best use of any reference. Honorable mentions are Asian cookout and Juan step.
Adolf Hitler's Worst Line: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I am ADOLF HITLER!
Could've gotten more clever with this.
Adolf Hitler's Best Line: I’m Ted Cruzing to victory, while you’re stuck in the Sanders!
Pretty good puns, and even some slight double meanings.
Sir Max's Worst Line: The rest of you better run away and hide from my power!
This line just doesn't need to be here.
Sir Max's Best Line: Sir Max is coming in being the defendant to my company!
Decent double meaning.
Victor Krane's Worst Line: Oh shut it, you big-mouthed freak from Maryland!
Could've gotten more creative with this.
Victor Krane's Best Line: Now the cipher’s gonna get cracked like I’m Vailskibum94.
Clever, specific reference. Honorable mentions are Big Time Baby, Hector-gone, and gravity fall.
Bill Cipher's Worst Line: Greetings, weaklings, I must inform you won’t survive.
Too generic, doesn't need to be here.
Bill Cipher's Best Line: Please! Joe’s not even capable of driving a Goofy Speedway car.
Maybe the funniest line in the battle. Honorable mentions are geddon, Fire Burnt, and maybe Goebbels.
Walt Disney's Worst Line: Alright, listen up you corrupt business freaks!
They're not all business freaks, so it doesn't really work, and it's also not really a reference.
Walt Disney's Best Line: I’ll condemn you like Frollo and impale you like Bambi’s hunter!
I like the references. Honorable mentions are Space Mountain and Chernabog hell.

Winner: Victor Krane (16/20) over Bill Cipher (15.75/20), Walt Disney (15/20), Donald Trump (13.5/20), Sir Max (12.25/20), and Adolf Hitler (12/20)

Total Score: 98.5/140

Here's my quickie review of Suit of Space Episode 4.

Spoiler: 

-Good much needed exposition at the beginning of this chapter.
-The "something controlling my thoughts" thing comes kind of out of nowhere and isn't really explained very much. I'd like to hear what's going through Amy's mind as something is controlling her.
-Better balance of the action than in the last chapter, where so much happened so quickly.
-The dialogue is a little too monologuey. It should be more broken up into smaller one-by-one exchanged sentences.

Here's my quickie review of Mooncat's MLK vs. Gandhi review (since I don't know how I'd do a full length review).

Spoiler: 

-These huge blocks of text are a little hard on the eyes. Try to break them up into paragraphs to make them easier to read.
-Good analysis of the beat, even though I personally like the beat.
-Nice catch with Gandhi's costume being too clean, didn't think of that when I reviewed it.
-I think I found "Slumdog Skillionaire" more clever than you did, but I agree that firts name Messiah is kinda meh.
-Gandhi's last line in verse 1 is a reference to the negro spiritual "We Shall Overcome". I like to have a tab open of Genius.com and ERB Wiki's Rap Meanings while I write reviews to make sure I don't miss stuff like that.
-"Thank God almighty" is a reference to the end of MLK's "I Have a Dream Speech"
-Totally agree with the point about the complimentary line coming before the shower line.
-I found the "boycott and sit in" line really clever wordplay but eh to each their own

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Samilton

Here's my quickie review of Mooncat's MLK vs. Gandhi review (since I don't know how I'd do a full length review).

Spoiler: 

-These huge blocks of text are a little hard on the eyes. Try to break them up into paragraphs to make them easier to read.
-Good analysis of the beat, even though I personally like the beat.
-Nice catch with Gandhi's costume being too clean, didn't think of that when I reviewed it.
-I think I found "Slumdog Skillionaire" more clever than you did, but I agree that firts name Messiah is kinda meh.
-Gandhi's last line in verse 1 is a reference to the negro spiritual "We Shall Overcome". I like to have a tab open of Genius.com and ERB Wiki's Rap Meanings while I write reviews to make sure I don't miss stuff like that.
-"Thank God almighty" is a reference to the end of MLK's "I Have a Dream Speech"
-Totally agree with the point about the complimentary line coming before the shower line.
-I found the "boycott and sit in" line really clever wordplay but eh to each their own

---

Now review your review of Mooncat's review pls

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Turtle

Now review your review of Mooncat's review pls

---

I'm pretty sure Sam said he won't review anything he did awhile back.

Here's my review of BKR's Walt Disney vs. Sir Max.

Spoiler: 

Walt Disney:
Round 1:
Nice whiskers, dork! You look like you took one too many tranquilizers!
Kind of a decent reference.
Monopolizing the business industry; own it all! I couldn’t be anymore wiser!
Not really a joke.
Started an empire from scratch, made millions off of others.
I’ll work ya ‘till your brain falls out! Work you down ‘till your muscles are butter!
No real refernces as far as I know.
You think you can stop me? Please! I turn hundreds into skeletons everyday!
Fact statey. Well actually it's technically not a fact but you get it
So don’t try to call up the police on me, kid, I OWN the CIA!
No he doesn't
Ruling with a suit made of iron, you’ve got a blue vest and a pie!
Funny reference, if a bit fact statey
So take a look at my dark side, son, it’s clear that you won’t survive!
ERB already came up with this joke in their BTS. I don't know if you actually came up with it separately on your own though

Verse Overview: Lacking in jokes, maybe like a 6 or 6.5

Round 2:
Oh, you think YOU have tlhe AUDACITY to Trump me?
I guess this is a reference to the last battle you made, but it's not a super clever one.
You’ll meet the same fate as Iwerks, LEFT FOR DEAD ON THE STREET!
Decent reference.
I make trillions off my investments while you’re stuck in a tenement!
Cool comparison.
So gather round, useless fool, FOR A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE!
Is this a Mary Poppins reference? If so it's pretty decent.

Verse Overview: Pretty good references, bordering between 8 and 9.

Round 3:
Overflow the Disney Vault? You just stole Jesse Schell's material!
Fact statey.
You're as soft as those cream pie slices you throw! Compared to me, I'm like durasteel!
Good references.
Am I toon enough? I'm bold and rough! Leave you on the streets, laying flat and dead!
Generic.
You're no good to me, Maxwell! I'll deep freeze your ass just like my head!
Could've been a better frozen head joke.

Verse Overview: One good line, around a 7.

Overall: 15.5/20

Sir Max:
Round 1:
YOU’RE not the big dog here, THE TITLE BELONGS TO ME!
Kinda clever.
Work you until you die in starvation and STRINGS OF HOPELESS MISERY!
No references as far as I know.
Started off small, but grew to be THE POWER OF THE WORLD!
Sir Max isn't really the power of the world
Breaking this mysogenic mess, since he ACTS LIKE A GIRL!
Kinda hypocritical
I bossed around thousands, BUT YET I’M STILL PRAISED!
No reference
Make you feel Jesse Hell for the DAMAGE YOU’VE PAVED
Nice pun.!
Shutting down MY game is the thing you’ll ALWAYS regret!
Weird wording.
Call me your conditions in China, ’CUZ I’M SHOPPING YOU TO A SWEAT!
"Shopping" someone? What does that mean?

Verse Overview: Like 2 decent lines, maybe 7.25ish.

Round 2:
I’LL DEVOUR YOUR CHANCES HERE LIKE I DID MILLIONS OF WORKERS!
He devoured workers?
You’re no less than my ignorant fans, Joe! Your ass will get kicked like JJKoletar!
OK reference.
You think you can stop me! DO YOUR WORST! I’ll just boil you alive!
No reference as far as I know.
SO DO WHAT YOU DO BEST AND SWEAT KIDS UNTIL THEY DIE!
Not super clever.

Verse Overview: One OK line. 6.5-7.

Round 3:
Oh my god! Am I that evil? (Evil Sir Max: WHY YES YOU ARE!)
No reference.
I’m honestly surprised a little steamboat could bring you that far!
Not really an insult.
So in order to beat the puppet and his master, we’re gonna get at his game.
Beat this representation of a company ruined by all these shitty brand names!
(fast) I’m making the world proud, taking you down!
Washing away your little company crown!
No jokes.
Beat you and your slaves like a whipped out master!
Not really a reference to either of these two
Every rhyme you spit, I spew out faster!
No reference
Put a cryogenic head inside a deep freezer.
Could've been a more creative joke about this
Wouldn’t step on your property with cartoony tweezers!
Stepping on property with tweezers?
You illegally put people to work, and what’s the result?
Your shit shows overflow the Disney Vault!
Not really an insult aside from calling the shows "shit".

Verse Overview: None of these lines really mix reference and joke well enough. 3 or 4.

Overall: 11.5/20

Overall Battle: A little lacking in references, and the references there are don't always pack much of a comedic punch. There are some lines I like, try to make all of your lines like those in the future. 6.75/10

Walt Disney's Worst Line: Started an empire from scratch, made millions off of others.
Not really a reference, and sort of self-dissy.
Walt Disney's Best Line: You’ll meet the same fate as Iwerks, LEFT FOR DEAD ON THE STREET!
Pretty good and funny use of this reference. Honorable mentions are tenement and medicine.
Sir Max's Worst Line: Started off small, but grew to be THE POWER OF THE WORLD!
There's no reference in this line, and it doesn't feel true at all.
Sir Max's Best Line: YOU’RE not the big dog here, THE TITLE BELONGS TO ME!
Fun pun, honorable mention is Jesse Hell.

Winner: Walt Disney (15.5/20) over Sir Max (11.5/20)

Total Score: 33.75/50

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Samilton

Here's my quickie review of Mooncat's MLK vs. Gandhi review (since I don't know how I'd do a full length review).

Spoiler: 

-These huge blocks of text are a little hard on the eyes. Try to break them up into paragraphs to make them easier to read.
-Good analysis of the beat, even though I personally like the beat.
-Nice catch with Gandhi's costume being too clean, didn't think of that when I reviewed it.
-I think I found "Slumdog Skillionaire" more clever than you did, but I agree that firts name Messiah is kinda meh.
-Gandhi's last line in verse 1 is a reference to the negro spiritual "We Shall Overcome". I like to have a tab open of Genius.com and ERB Wiki's Rap Meanings while I write reviews to make sure I don't miss stuff like that.
-"Thank God almighty" is a reference to the end of MLK's "I Have a Dream Speech"
-Totally agree with the point about the complimentary line coming before the shower line.
-I found the "boycott and sit in" line really clever wordplay but eh to each their own

---

I should review this

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Samilton

Here's my review of BKR's Walt Disney vs. Sir Max.

Spoiler: 

So don’t try to call up the police on me, kid, I OWN the CIA!
No he doesn't

---

Actually, Walt was a "secret informer for the Los Angeles office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation", and he was quite close with J. Edgar Hoover, who was one of the founders of the CIA.

So, basically, he doesn't really OWN the CIA, but he has some pretty good ties with them.

SOURCE: http://www.nytimes.com/1993/05/06/mo...disclosed.html

Also, about the "shopping to a sweat" line, it was just a play on words with the infamous labor conditions of Walt Disney's sweatshops.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BK-AK47

Actually, Walt was a "secret informer for the Los Angeles office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation", and he was quite close with J. Edgar Hoover, who was one of the founders of the CIA.

So, basically, he doesn't really OWN the CIA, but he has some pretty good ties with them.

SOURCE: http://www.nytimes.com/1993/05/06/mo...disclosed.html

Also, about the "shopping to a sweat" line, it was just a play on words with the infamous labor conditions of Walt Disney's sweatshops.

---

Kind of a stretch, but OK, I get it now.

Sorry for delay, been super sick. Here's my Bond vs. Powers review.

Spoiler: 

Beat:
Relevance-Craig's beat sounds serious and Bondy, Powers' beat is definitely Powers, Connery's beat is very Connery and Bondy. 2.5/2.5
Catchiness-The only one with a real tune is the Powers one, but MAN is that beat catchy. 2/2.5
Intensity-Both Bonds have very intense beats, and even Powers' beat, while goofy, is still exciting and high energy. 2.5/2.5
Variety-I love the way they alternate between the beats. 2.5/2.5
Overall: I don't know if any one of these beats on its own would get a great score, but together they give this battle a lot of personality. 9.5/10

Costumes:
Daniel Craig/Bond-Ben Atha is about as close as you can get to Daniel Craig. He's not perfect but he very well might be the best person in the world aside from Craig himself. 1.5/1.5
Austin Powers-Mike Myers has a very odd head shape that Peter doesn't really have, but he's pretty close overall. 1/1.5
Sean Connery/Bond-Lloyd has a pretty striking facial resemblance to Connery, in my opinion. 1.5/1.5
Extras-The only one in the band who looks really wrong is Manny. But it kinda adds to the charm of Powers' verse anyway. .25/.5

Impressions:
Daniel Craig/Bond-He's British, and the pitch isn't too off. Full Points
Austin Powers-Peter also has the right pitch and accent. He breaks accent a few times, but it's not too noticeable. -.25 Points
Sean Connery/Bond-I can't really decide how I feel about him. It sounds more like someone trying to do an impression of Sean Connery than it does Sean Connery, but I don't really know how else you'd approach this kind of thing. -.5 Points

Daniel Craig/Bond:
Round 1:
I've beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar,
But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are!
Crooked would've been good enough, adding the rotten just enhances the line.
I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot!
Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!
I don't really know if I'd like either of these lines on their own without the flow, but the way the flow is written for both of them is clever enough, and they're certainly not BAD lines, so I give full points for both of these lines.
Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I've earned it!
Not amazing, but certainly not bad either. It is a reference, I guess they just could've done a little more with the reference.
I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!
Funny, and a nice kind of subtle reference too.
After twenty-four films, I'm still reaching new heights!
Fact statey, but I guess it works OK as a set up for the next line.
Your third movie died; guess You Only Live Twice!
Good reference.
Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!
Clever.
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!
Generic insult.
I'm bespoke from my head to my toe, and after this flow, I'm done!
Not really a joke.
I only need one round: Golden gun!
Good.

Verse Overview: Lots of strong references. I'd probably give it like a 9.5 or 9.25.

Round 2:
(Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!
I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!
Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis,
No jokes in these 3 lines.
Not rapping against Swedish penis-pumping weenies! (Yeah, that's not mine)
Good flow, and works as a joke thanks to Powers' input.
I didn't say I was finished! I'm sick of your silly gimmicks!
Kinda filler.
I'm the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics!
Basic boast
And I've been through hell, so yeah, I'm a bit of a cynic,
But I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics!
Basic set up for Connery's entrance.

Verse Overview: Not very well written. 6-6.5 range.

Back And Forth:
It's the movie business, and you've had your six!
Very clever pun.
The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists!
This line is actually kind of deep in references.

Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English!
Pretty obvious.

As a matter of fact, I've got a knack for licking old cunts!
Funny, kind of self-dissy but it still gets a laugh.
After I beat you, I'll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts!
Maybe could've been a better stuntman joke, but it's funny.

Overall: 17.25/20

Austin Powers:
Round 1:
You look a lot more blond in your movie, baby.
I don't really get this line. The most sensible way I can interpret it is a 4th wall break about how Ben Atha isn't blonde, which doesn't really work for me because Craig Bond doesn't look super blonde to me anyway.
That's alright. Let's just keep it groovy, baby!
Could've been a better reference to this catch phrase. Still, this line does make me very happy when he says "YEAH"
(Yeah!) Basil Exposition told me this would be boring,
But Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!
Funny reference.
I've never seen such a miserable spy!
I've also never seen a man with glistening thighs!
I don't know if this would work on its own, but with the set up and visual gag it's really funny.
I mean, you can't shag properly with that waxed tush!
so stupid but i love it
Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!
^
(Yeah!) I'll hypnotize you with a little striptease,
And then judo chop; I'm swinging on you like the sixties!
^ yeah i think "so stupid but i love it" could apply to all of these lines
(Yeah!) You're defenseless; my rhymes can't be deflected!
Nice subtle reference to a Bond gadget, according to Genius.
You're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!
I laughed way more than I had any right to at this line
(Yeah!) People want a hero with a little personality!
No one wants to sit through your gritty reality!
Eh, not that clever. Kind of funny
Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines!
Funny.
You made Thunderball two bloody times!
Little fact statey.
I'm one of a kind; you're always getting remade!
Decent comparison line, not extremely clever though.
You can't touch me; double oh, behave!
Good finisher.

Verse Overview: Some clever lines, lots of hilarious lines, probably my favorite verse in the battle, probably a 9.75.

Back and Forth:
(Yeah, um…) Could I get back in my rap, please?
Useless storyteller.

Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey.
The wording of this makes it a funny set up line.
I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby.
lolololololololol

Overall: 18.5/20

Sean Connery/Bond:
I wouldn't exactly call you original…
Pretty cool when it goes with Craig's last line.
It's the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage!
No real references.
Handing out ass-whippings, I'm on some real James Bondage!
Nice pun.
Your performance doesn't stir me, and I'm certainly not shaken!
Probably one of the best jokes you could've made about this reference.
If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken!
Kind of a fun reference, but not super clever.
I see your modern gadgets, and I piss on them all!
I guess this works OK with the visual gag, but there could've been a much better joke about this probably.
I don't need a Q to break your balls!
Niceeee
I'm the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on!
No joke
You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.
epic

Verse Overview: A few fillerish lines, but still plenty of strong ones. I'd probably go for a 9.25.

Back and Forth:
*slap* Rap these, you velvety hack! (Jeez)
No reference aside from the velvet

Oh please, I'm an extraordinary gentleman! I'm distinguished!
Nice reference.
If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!
Pretty badass.

*slap* Why, pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?
Nice reference.

Now, you listen here, you little duck-faced runt!
Generic insult. Kinda funny but not hysterical or anything.
I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!
Clever reference, I don't really see how it's an insult or a boast or a threat or anything. It just seems kind of pointless.

Overall: 18.75/20

Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-Peter used to oppose this because Powers was a direct parody of Bond and so the match-up was uncreative. I guess I agree with that, but adding Connery made this a very clever premise. Plus, I guess Powers isn't TOO direct a parody of Bond. Their personalities are certainly nothing alike, ESPECIALLY with Craig, which makes for a really funny atmosphere. I always love battles where the characters have totally opposite personalities, and this one really had fun with that.
Presentation-I love it. I don't know if it's the beat or the stupid funny lines or what about Powers' verse, but Powers' verse is one of my all time favorite ERB moments. It still makes me smile watching it. Craig Bond's background is also great.

Overall Battle: This one's a winner. So much to love, so much enjoyment, so many great subtle references to both the Bond and Powers franchise. I guess there are enough minor weak spots to keep this from being the best ever or anything, but it's a classic for sure, and barely edges out Ramsay vs. Child for me as the best this season so far. 9/10

Daniel Craig/Bond's Worst Line: (Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown!
Super generic.
Daniel Craig/Bond's Best Line: I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!
I find this the best use of references in the battle. Honorable mentions are teeth line, You Only Live Twice line, B on D, and Golden Gun.
Austin Powers' Worst Line: Yeah, um… Could I get back in my rap, please?
I guess by default this line required the least amount of thought to write. It still is funny though, I don't think there's a single completely humorless line from Powers.
Austin Powers' Best Line: I mean I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby.
Not only is it a clever and hilarious reference, but it's MORALISTIC TOOO honorable mentions go to snoring mojo, waxed tush, chest bush, strip tease, unprotected, double oh behave, I like a lot of his lines a lot
Sean Connery/Bond's Worst Line: Rap these, you velvety hack! (Jeez)
Couldn't they just do something clever with this?
Sean Connery/Bond's Best Line: You're so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond. Gold Bond.
I especially like how this line kind of hammers home the main point of Connery's verse. Honorable mentions are James Bondage, stirred not shaken, and break balls.

Winner: Sean Connery/Bond (18.75/20) over Austin Powers (18.5/20) and Daniel Craig/Bond (17.25/20)

Total Score: 81.5/90 (equivalent to 63.39/70)