Presidential Reviews

Here's my review of King's Socrates vs. Confucius. Next is Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde.

Spoiler: 

Socrates: I really like how the first two lines are take-offs of actual Socrates quotes. The third line is a decent set-up, but the gadfly line doesn't have much of a punchline. Neither do the next 2 lines for that matter. The Athens ruling class line is kind of obvious, although I have to like the mustache line. The rest of the verse doesn't seem that strong, but I'm probably missing some references. 7.5/10

Confucius: Kind of a weak threat to open up the verse. Telling someone they'll be confused isn't really intimidating. Trial line isn't brilliant but it's decent enough. The Golden Rule line could've been better, but the teacher line is alright, albeit kind of done before. The verse pretty much just totally picks up from there. Burning books, thoughts, Hemlock, sock-rates are all great. It ends on a pretty meh note, but this verse has a great middle section. 8/10

Plato: The Miyagi reference is funny, but it could've been a lot funnier if it mentioned something specific about Miyagi. A lot of these lines aren't too clever, but they're funny enough for me to consider them good lines, like the fortune cookies line, the nipples line and the Ching Chang Yoda line. Still, there are some clever lines too, like the perfect form line and the Atlantis line. 8/10

Laozi: First line isn't much of a reference, but the second line is funny. The balance line is awesome, but then the verse kind of heads downhill for the rest of the lines. There just aren't enough jokes. The last line's good enough to save this verse from being the worst though. 7.5/10

Kant: Obvious but pretty good opener, and the second line is actually not that battle. The calm line's alright, but there could've been a better “might not have existed” joke. Pretty good puns throughout the rest of the verse though. 8.5/10

Buddha: Rather fact-statey Steve Jobs line that doesn't seem to attempt any joke. The reincarnation line is awesome, and the last line is funny, but most of this verse is more fact-stating than joking. 7/10

Nietzsche: Awesome and hilarious opening line. Ubermensch line is pretty good, but then it sort of takes a down turn and doesn't attempt too many jokes. The Nirvana reference is funny and the last line works well. 8/10

Zoroaster: This verse starts out pretty weak and takes a while to pick up. Too many jokeless references until the last 3 lines, which all work to some degree. 7.5/10

Bertrand Russell: “Zoroasshole” isn't genius but it's funny enough. The Joseph Smith reference seems kind of random, and the next 2 lines are more statey than jokey. Really like the idealism line, and the last 3 lines range from OK to good. 8/10

Sun Tzu: Not a brilliant but not a terrible opener, and the second line's pretty good. A few annoying filler lines in this verse, but the references are actually pretty good jokes. 8.5/10

Overall: It does suffer from a lot of the problems most Fan Mades too, such as too many filler lines, references that don't make any jokes, etc., but this battle does have some legitimately really clever and really funny lines. I laughed more at this battle than I did most fan mades. It just needs to be more consistent for it. Only put in lines you're really proud of, take a lot of risks and it'll pay off eventually. 7.5/10

Socrates' Best Line: You spit rhymes and thoughts thinner than your own mustache!
Socrates' Worst Line: I taught the greats – Plato and Xenophon
Confucius' Best Line: They burnt my fucking books because my rhymes were so hot
Confucius' Worst Line: How can your puny Western brain compare with my Eastern mind?
Plato's Best Line: While your legacy is being tattooed onto white dude's nipples
Plato's Worst Line: My name is Plato, don't hate yo, my raps are abstract truths
Laozi's Best Line: Your "bond" with Socrates is anything but platonic
Laozi's Worst Line: I grew tired of China's decay and it's constraints
Kant's Best Line: My verse is the End of All Things, I took philosophy to new heights
Kant's Worst Line: Calling yourself great? You may not even exist!
Buddha's Best Line: Maybe after this y'all will be reincarnated into better rappers?
Buddha's Worst Line: While Kant here just resorts to pettiness and hate
Nietszche's Best Line: God is dead, I can discern this just by listening to your raps
Nietszche's Worst Line: Go back up your little mountain and practice some zen!
Zoroaster's Best Line: I'm the good, you're the bad, it's battle of two extremes
Zoroaster's Worst Line: Bitch, I never said any of that shit!
Bertrand Russell's Best Line: I lead the revolt against Idealism but my rhymes are perfect
Bertrand Russell's Worst Line: You're just mad that your lame religion didn't reach world importance
Sun Tzu's Best Line: I lead armies to victory, you lead students to boredom
Sun Tzu's Worst Line: Bertrand Russell's a huge nerd, Nietzsche - you're a turd

Total Score: 86/110

Here's my review of Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde. Next is SaneButStrange vs. GonadTheNomad.

Spoiler: 

Beat: I really liked this beat, so i wasn't actually too surprised when I heard it was from Jesse. Guy's incredible at this. It definitely fits these rappers both more than it did Blackbeard or Al Capone, so good move on ERB's part. The instruments are pretty exciting. It's kind of repetitive, but it's not too noticeable unless you're really analyzing it. It still has enough variety to get it a good score. It might be Jesse's weakest beat, but that doesn't mean it's bad at all. 9/10

Impressions and Costumes: So I guess they decided not to focus on any one particular version of these 2 couples. I can't find any pics of Clyde wearing suspenders like that, but they still do resemble then facially pretty well. Romeo and Juliet also don't have costumes that resemble any particular version, but that's more understandable since there's like a bajillion versions of them to use, it's probably more fair if they just didn't focus on any version. And what they did come up with for them is pretty good. Both look pretty young, Peter looks pretty funny, Grace looks pretty....uh, pretty. 9.5/10

Bonnie and Clyde-Round 1: Two really great puns in the first 2 lines, I must say. It starts off as good as any battle ever has. Bonnie doesn't really follow those two great lines up that well, with one line that's just conversation and one line that pretty much just has 2 generic insults. More conversation between them in the next 2 lines, but at least it sets up some pretty great lines from Bonnie. I don't really watch porn, so I'm not sure what about "One Night in Paris" makes it worth referencing, but the line is still really funny. I'm not really sure how to divide up Clyde's next lines from O Romeo to clothes bro. Maybe I'll edit this when I get the lyric booklet, but basically, I like the flow line, not too keen on the fro-yo line, and like the drapes line enough. Guess it doesn't really matter, since 3 out of the 4 next lines are all pretty awesome (the one excluded being the Barrow Gang line), so this verse is near perfect either way. 9.5/10

Romeo and Juliet-Round 1: The opening 4 lines that set up the verse are fairly weak. Dust bowl dildos sounds like it could have some clever double meaning, but to my knowledge it's just a Texas joke and dick joke. Juliet's lines don't even really try that hard, they're just set up. The flax wrench line doesn't seem to reference anything other than Shakespearean English, and the next line is kind of clever wordplay, but I don't think it references anything. Luckily, Romeo's last 2 lines save him here. The wrench line is just awesome on its own, while the federal state line sort of needs the thumb biting for the whole joke. Not that there's anything wrong with that, these are made to be videos after all. Juliet's first line is just weird, while the second line is pretty awesome. Not that big a fan of her last 2 lines honestly. They're both pretty insulting, but they're not really jokes, just fact stating. I guess the conjugal visit line tries a bit harder than the last one though. 8/10

Bonnie and Clyde-Rest of the Battle: Clyde's pretty good in his 2 lines with the muzzle line and the domestic abuse joke (if they're both referencing what I think they're referencing). Bonnie's nothing special here. What about John Leguizano makes this so embarrassing exactly? The last verse is the weakest in the battle. Normally, I probably wouldn't even count it, but in this battle, Romeo and Juliet actually do an excellent job of story-telling and clever lines at the same time. We'll get to that in a bit though. 7.5/10

Romeo and Juliet-Rest of the Battle: No wonder Bonnie shot her, Romeo and Juliet absolutely dominate the back-and-forth. Romeo's first line is a pretty nice reference, and his second line is funny, albeit not as clever. Juliet's first line sounds cool, but Clyde kind of already stole her thunder in the first verse with that kind of thing. Her second line probably wouldn't have been so strong if not for the cool Shakespearean wording of it. The failed actress line is good enough on its own, but it's hilariously delivered. It's like, she's dying, and she HAS to get one more dis in before she dies. Romeo also does an awesome and hilarious job at this, choosing to die in a specific way as to let them lick his ass. Juliet's "OH NOMEO" is funny, and it's even better if it's a Gnomeo reference. Her next line isn't so great, but her last line is a pretty clever way to go out. I can't praise this verse enough. They're storytelling, but they're actually dissing and making clever jokes too. THIS is what Scrooge's lines should've been. 9.5/10

Overall: Not EVERY line in this battle is strong, but it does a lot of things right. It's just well directed, I guess is how I'd describe it. It says interesting, keeps a format that you can definitely see the beef in, and never lets its guard down with the lyrics to story-tell. Except for maybe Bonnie and Clyde at the end. But anyway, this is another great and unique entry into season 4. Oh, and since everyone seems to be into ranking these, I'd probably say: 1. Clyde, 2. Romeo, 3. Juliet, 4. Bonnie or something along those lines. 9/10

Bonnie and Clyde's Best Line: Spit sick like a plague on both your houses!
Bonnie and Clyde's Worst Line: Basically just their last verse.
Romeo and Juliet's Best Line: (Then I shall kill myself! On my stomach I shall lie) So you louts can lick my ass, thus with a diss, I die!
Romeo and Juliet's Worst Line: My love, your face is beauty to behold.

Final Results:
Bonnie and Clyde: 17/20
Romeo and Juliet: 17.5/20

Total Score: 62/70

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HippySamuel

Here's my review of King's Socrates vs. Confucius. Next is Romeo and Juliet vs. Bonnie and Clyde.

Spoiler: 

Socrates: I really like how the first two lines are take-offs of actual Socrates quotes. The third line is a decent set-up, but the gadfly line doesn't have much of a punchline. Neither do the next 2 lines for that matter. The Athens ruling class line is kind of obvious, although I have to like the mustache line. The rest of the verse doesn't seem that strong, but I'm probably missing some references. 7.5/10

Confucius: Kind of a weak threat to open up the verse. Telling someone they'll be confused isn't really intimidating. Trial line isn't brilliant but it's decent enough. The Golden Rule line could've been better, but the teacher line is alright, albeit kind of done before. The verse pretty much just totally picks up from there. Burning books, thoughts, Hemlock, sock-rates are all great. It ends on a pretty meh note, but this verse has a great middle section. 8/10

Plato: The Miyagi reference is funny, but it could've been a lot funnier if it mentioned something specific about Miyagi. A lot of these lines aren't too clever, but they're funny enough for me to consider them good lines, like the fortune cookies line, the nipples line and the Ching Chang Yoda line. Still, there are some clever lines too, like the perfect form line and the Atlantis line. 8/10

Laozi: First line isn't much of a reference, but the second line is funny. The balance line is awesome, but then the verse kind of heads downhill for the rest of the lines. There just aren't enough jokes. The last line's good enough to save this verse from being the worst though. 7.5/10

Kant: Obvious but pretty good opener, and the second line is actually not that battle. The calm line's alright, but there could've been a better “might not have existed” joke. Pretty good puns throughout the rest of the verse though. 8.5/10

Buddha: Rather fact-statey Steve Jobs line that doesn't seem to attempt any joke. The reincarnation line is awesome, and the last line is funny, but most of this verse is more fact-stating than joking. 7/10

Nietzsche: Awesome and hilarious opening line. Ubermensch line is pretty good, but then it sort of takes a down turn and doesn't attempt too many jokes. The Nirvana reference is funny and the last line works well. 8/10

Zoroaster: This verse starts out pretty weak and takes a while to pick up. Too many jokeless references until the last 3 lines, which all work to some degree. 7.5/10

Bertrand Russell: “Zoroasshole” isn't genius but it's funny enough. The Joseph Smith reference seems kind of random, and the next 2 lines are more statey than jokey. Really like the idealism line, and the last 3 lines range from OK to good. 8/10

Sun Tzu: Not a brilliant but not a terrible opener, and the second line's pretty good. A few annoying filler lines in this verse, but the references are actually pretty good jokes. 8.5/10

Overall: It does suffer from a lot of the problems most Fan Mades too, such as too many filler lines, references that don't make any jokes, etc., but this battle does have some legitimately really clever and really funny lines. I laughed more at this battle than I did most fan mades. It just needs to be more consistent for it. Only put in lines you're really proud of, take a lot of risks and it'll pay off eventually. 7.5/10

Socrates' Best Line: You spit rhymes and thoughts thinner than your own mustache!
Socrates' Worst Line: I taught the greats – Plato and Xenophon
Confucius' Best Line: They burnt my fucking books because my rhymes were so hot
Confucius' Worst Line: How can your puny Western brain compare with my Eastern mind?
Plato's Best Line: While your legacy is being tattooed onto white dude's nipples
Plato's Worst Line: My name is Plato, don't hate yo, my raps are abstract truths
Laozi's Best Line: Your "bond" with Socrates is anything but platonic
Laozi's Worst Line: I grew tired of China's decay and it's constraints
Kant's Best Line: My verse is the End of All Things, I took philosophy to new heights
Kant's Worst Line: Calling yourself great? You may not even exist!
Buddha's Best Line: Maybe after this y'all will be reincarnated into better rappers?
Buddha's Worst Line: While Kant here just resorts to pettiness and hate
Nietszche's Best Line: God is dead, I can discern this just by listening to your raps
Nietszche's Worst Line: Go back up your little mountain and practice some zen!
Zoroaster's Best Line: I'm the good, you're the bad, it's battle of two extremes
Zoroaster's Worst Line: Bitch, I never said any of that shit!
Bertrand Russell's Best Line: I lead the revolt against Idealism but my rhymes are perfect
Bertrand Russell's Worst Line: You're just mad that your lame religion didn't reach world importance
Sun Tzu's Best Line: I lead armies to victory, you lead students to boredom
Sun Tzu's Worst Line: Bertrand Russell's a huge nerd, Nietzsche - you're a turd

Total Score: 86/110

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Thanks for the awesome review, boi.

Here's my review of SaneButStrange vs. Gonadthenomad. Next is Zeus vs. Thor.

Spoiler: 

SaneButStrange-Round 1: While I certainly don't understand the rationality of your hate for this battle, this verse is pretty funny. The fluffs are funny, the 2 Beverly Clearly references go an appropriate amount of overboard so that they don't get old, and it never tries too hard to be funny. 8.5/10

GonadTheNomad-Round 1: Pretty nice opening line, if it is in fact referencing the famous "without the wit" line. If it's not, then it's just a generic insult. A lot of the upcoming lines in this verse are all reference, no joke. Some of them seem even self-dissing, like the balls deep line. The nomad line is funny, but I don't really see the point, as it doesn't seem to be a dis, threat or boast. The stick line is...an OK threat I suppose. The blah line is a decent comparison, but the last few lines are rather underwhelming and don't really make any jokes. 8/10

SaneButStrange-Round 2: This verse definitely shows a sheer lack of effort, but that's a good thing here because it's supposed to. The humor unfortunately gets kind of old at this point, but the personality alone makes this verse still enjoyable. 7/10

GonadTheNomad-Round 2: Very strong opening, with 2 lines that are both pretty good reference jokes. The half a fanfic line is just a reference, not much of a joke, and from then on it's nothing too brilliant. Still enough for the win, although I guess this battle doesn't really seem like the type where either is the true winner since they're both going for different goals. 8/10

Overall: It's rather hard to look at an overall for this battle because both sides are so different. For Gunnut, I guess just remember that the references can't just be there for the sake of having a reference, they need to make a joke. Not sure what to tell SBS here in terms of advise. This battle is good, and it's fun to read mainlly because of the contrast, but it could be better. 7.5/10

SaneButStrange's Best Line: Your some guy named Bram Stoker so go away because Game of thrones is coming on
SaneButStrange's Worst Line: what rhymes with lap, nap, sap hap tap?
GonadTheNomad's Best Line: Banned for a month but spent 30 seconds on your verse
GonadTheNomad's Worst Line: I could've done so much more that quick

Final Results:
SaneButStrange: 15.5/20
GonadTheNomad: 16/20

Total Score: 39/50

Happy Thanksgiving guys. I know I already said it in the awards speech, but really, thanks for reading these. Here's my review of Zeus vs. Thor. Next is Starlin/The Announcer vs Sir Ras of Putin.

Spoiler: 

Beat: This beat's actually grown on me a bit. It's really everything I could've hoped for. It's VERY slightly repetitive, but it's still got enough variety in instruments and different parts to keep it interesting. It fits a battle of gods theme really well, and it keeps of season 3's streak of having great beats. There are occasional Washington vs. Wallaces, but in general, ERB has really gotten that beat thing figured out by now. 9.5/10

Impressions and Costumes: Regarding the voices, I don't like them. They're not flat-out BAD, like Venkman, but they just don't seem to try at all. Greeks and Scandinavians both do have distinctive accents that could've been really cool in this battle. I like the Thor voice more than the Zeus voice, but both certainly could've been better. For costumes, I also like Thor's lego more than Zeus'. Most depictions of Zeus have him showing a bit more skin. Here it looks like he's just wearing a T-shirt. I'll give extra points for costumes because of all the other great costumes for the cameos, but they just could've done better with Zeus' portrayal here in general. 7.5/10

Zeus-Round 1: The opener sounds cool and intimidating, but it's really not very clever. The phone line is funny, but then the next 2 lines are what I like to call "ear candy", in that they sound cool but aren't that clever. A cross-dressing joke could've been really good, but here's it's just thrown into the middle of a line. There's a nice Medusa reference, while the swan shlong line is a decent pun. There's a strong finish with the Poseidon line and the giant line. Although the "balls" thing was unnecessary, it at least makes for a funny visual joke. 9/10

Thor-Round 1: "Shape-shifting rapist" is funny but kind of generic. Next 2 lines are pretty basic stuff, but I like the Norse line, and Loki makes it even better. Then the verse has a really good streak of multiple good lines. The next 2 lines are good puns. The Gorgon line is funny, and the Natalie Portman line is a nice sex joke. Kind of reminds me of Marilyn Monroe's opening lines for her second verse. Then there's just some more ear candy. "Clash of the Douches"? Come on, they can do better than that. The Greek line is just a basic insult to all the Greeks that sets up Zeus' mediocre second verse opener. I laughed at the spit line though, so at least it ends on a high note. 9/10

Zeus-Round 2: The entire first half of this verse is pretty meh. He's just bragging about his Greeks and not really saying anything witty. Luckily, the second half of this verse kicks ass. Really good puns, and the MC Hammer reference is actually good because it has a nice Grease pun. 9/10

Thor-Round 2: Actually, very much like Zeus, this verse has a boring first half and a really good second half. I guess the line about the sniffles is moderately funny, but the next 2 lines are make no attempt at any jokes whatsoever. Then every line in the second half is awesome. I am so glad I knew about that whole story about Kronos so that line could hit me full force the first time I heard it. That was the biggest laugh of the battle, and it's probably my favorite of the season so far. 9/10

Zeus-Round 3: The first line is a pretty good set-up line, but it's not a great line on its own. The Loki and lighter line are both really good. It's just the 3rd line that holds this verse back from being that perfect. Unfortunately, that winds up making the difference for me. 9/10

Thor-Round 3: You know, Zeus' verses were both probably SLIGHTLY better in the first 2 rounds, but Thor still wins because this verse is perfect. Each of these four lines are all clever in their own right. None are excellent, but they're all well above the average. 10/10

Overall: Not sure where else to put this in the review, but I'm glad they tried this lego thing. It actually makes this video one of the most fun ERBs to watch. Anyway, for the battle itself, it's pretty much as good as I could've hoped for. Lots of great mythical and cultural references, some of them getting really big belly laughs. Like I said, Zeus could've been presented better, but aside from that, season 4 keeps its impressive streak alive. 9/10

Zeus' Best Line: MC Hammer just got struck twice by greased lightning.
Zeus' Worst Line: HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE MY IMMORTAL THRONE
Thor's Best Line: Now make like your daddy, and swallow my babies!
Thor's Worst Line: (Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist) And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness.

Final Results:
Zeus: 27/30 (equivalent to 18/20)
Thor: 28/30 (equivalent to 18.6/20)

Total Score: 81/90 (equivalent to 63/70)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HippySamuel

Here's my review of SaneButStrange vs. Gonadthenomad. Next is Zeus vs. Thor.

Spoiler: 

SaneButStrange-Round 1: While I certainly don't understand the rationality of your hate for this battle, this verse is pretty funny. The fluffs are funny, the 2 Beverly Clearly references go an appropriate amount of overboard so that they don't get old, and it never tries too hard to be funny. 8.5/10

GonadTheNomad-Round 1: Pretty nice opening line, if it is in fact referencing the famous "without the wit" line. If it's not, then it's just a generic insult. A lot of the upcoming lines in this verse are all reference, no joke. Some of them seem even self-dissing, like the balls deep line. The nomad line is funny, but I don't really see the point, as it doesn't seem to be a dis, threat or boast. The stick line is...an OK threat I suppose. The blah line is a decent comparison, but the last few lines are rather underwhelming and don't really make any jokes. 8/10

SaneButStrange-Round 2: This verse definitely shows a sheer lack of effort, but that's a good thing here because it's supposed to. The humor unfortunately gets kind of old at this point, but the personality alone makes this verse still enjoyable. 7/10

GonadTheNomad-Round 2: Very strong opening, with 2 lines that are both pretty good reference jokes. The half a fanfic line is just a reference, not much of a joke, and from then on it's nothing too brilliant. Still enough for the win, although I guess this battle doesn't really seem like the type where either is the true winner since they're both going for different goals. 8/10

Overall: It's rather hard to look at an overall for this battle because both sides are so different. For Gunnut, I guess just remember that the references can't just be there for the sake of having a reference, they need to make a joke. Not sure what to tell SBS here in terms of advise. This battle is good, and it's fun to read mainlly because of the contrast, but it could be better. 7.5/10

SaneButStrange's Best Line: Your some guy named Bram Stoker so go away because Game of thrones is coming on
SaneButStrange's Worst Line: what rhymes with lap, nap, sap hap tap?
GonadTheNomad's Best Line: Banned for a month but spent 30 seconds on your verse
GonadTheNomad's Worst Line: I could've done so much more that quick

Final Results:
SaneButStrange: 15.5/20
GonadTheNomad: 16/20

Total Score: 39/50

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Thanks. :3

I anticipate a similar response on my next REWF, so keep a look out for that.

Fucking shit .5 <3

So since a lot of people seriously want to improve, I'm going to start doing sort of "quickies" on these joke battles so I have more time to get to other people. I'm still fine with reviewing them, but there are other people who probably want to hear my criticisms more. Here's my review of Sir Ras of Putin vs. Starlin. Next is a Lion Royale.

Spoiler: 

Sir Ras of Putin: These lines range from kind of clever in a dumb way to just completely stupid in a funny way. 8.5/10

Starlin: The lack of caps lock gives this verse a pretty funny sense of "i really don't give a shit about this". The lines go well with this theme. 9/10

Leninsauce: It doesn't start out with too many laughs, but as it reaches the end, the stupid lines do seem to get a bit funnier. 8/10

some long name gonad wanted starl-lord cant spell: Kind of like Sauce's, this verse doesn't get funny until near the end. Still, it doesn't get quite as many laughs as the other verses. 7.5/10

Spartino: Funny intro, solid laughs all the way through. Some funny forum references and some references that seem super out of place, which is also funny. 9/10

Total Score: 42/50

Here's my review of Nutty's Lion Royale. Next is Ash vs. Darwin.

Spoiler: 

Arcanine: I like what the first line is going for, I don't like the wording of it. Saying it "should be" justified means it isn't already justified. The second line is good, but the third line's a bit too obvious and the last line is too referenceless. The second verse begins with a rather obvious but still decent line, and a nice Shinx pun in the second line. The third line doesn't really reference anything and the last line seems too much like a compliment. I know it's supposed to be a boast, but saying your opponent has guts doesn't work too well in a rap battle. The yellow line doesn't really make any point. Why exactly is being yellow something to brag about? The Growlithe line is OK, the third line doesn't really attempt any joke, and the last line is kind of...basic I guess. 7.5/10

Luxray: I kind of like the pun in the first line, but saying your opponent is in luck probably won't scare them that much. The second and third lines are kind of generic (third pun is just too obvious), and the Elemental Fangs line isn't really much of a joke. The first line in the second verse could've made for a pretty good joke, but it's sort of just mentioned here and not joked about. The substitute line is kind of funny, while the last 2 lines aren't really jokes either. The last verse starts with 2 basic insults. While there's a nice little pun in the 3rd line, the last line doesn't seem to have much to it. 7/10

Pyroar: The introduction is dramatic, but not very clever lyrically. The French thing is kind of cool, but the 2 forms line isn't that clever, and the Moxie line isn't anything too special. The unnerved line is alright, kind of obvious but still OK, while the Flare love isn't much of a joke. The 10,000 degrees line isn't bad while the last line could pretty much be used by any Pokemon against any Pokemon. 8/10

Cobalion: There are some nice puns in the first line, but the point it's trying to make is kind of foggy. The second line isn't much of a joke, but then this verse picks up. The register in dex line is clever, the berries line is funny and the last line turns a rather obvious joke into a pretty good reference. 9/10

Entei: The first line is a pretty meh line that could've made for a pretty funny joke or dis. Most of this verse just lacks references. When it does make references, some are good, some are just kind of thrown in there without being joked about, like the Pressure line. 6.5/10

Overall: This battle's not without its good lines, but rarely do the joke and reference come together to form something really clever. Remember that you want to put a reference in every line, and you need to at least try to make each and every line something that will make people say "OOH" or something. You're not going to hit every time, but there's going to be a lot more of them. 7.5/10

Arcanine's Best Line: Shinx twice before you rhyme, go back to your yarn ball!
Arcanine's Worst Line: Excluding the fact that I'm also yellow!
Luxray's Best Line: And while you're simple, I have Lynx to mythology.
Luxray's Worst Line: Now it's confirmed your every held item stinks.
Pyroar's Best Line: Are you not unnerved? Why don't you take a gander?
Pyroar's Worst Line: From Hoenn to Unova everyone knows you got beat!
Cobalion's Best Line: Pyroar, your snarls don't register in my dex as scary!
Cobalion's Worst Line: A couple of flaming posers against Cobalion?!
Entei's Best Line: I can fight without fleeing, slay without Suicune or Raikou
Entei's Worst Line: The original legendary Lion is high flyin' without wings

Final Results:
Arcanine: 7.5/10 (equivalent to 15/20)
Luxray: 7/10 (equivalent to 14/20)
Pyroar: 8/10 (equivalent to 16/20)
Cobalion: 9/10 (equivalent to 18/20)
Entei: 6.5/10 (equivalent to 13/20)

Total Score: 45.5/60 (equivalent to 38/50)

Here's my review of this guy's Ash Ketchum vs. Charles Darwin. Next is Death the Kid vs. Grim.

Spoiler: 

Charles Darwin-Round 1: Well the only reference here is the ship one. And the John Wilkes Booth line I guess, but I don't see what he has to do with either of these people at all. 1.5/20

Ash Ketchum-Round 1: I was shocked by the 10 line because of the fact that this battle actually made a specific reference. Too bad that line sucks. The fish hook line....might be a reference? And maybe the squirter one? 2.5/20

Total Score: 4/20

Here's my review of Death the Kid vs. Grim. Next is King vs. Polar.

Spoiler: 

Beat: Nice beat, really. I love the guitar sound (one of the reasons Goku vs. Superman has my favorite beat). My one complaint with the beat is that it doesn't completely fit the kind of goofy feel of Grim's show. But that's really a minor complaint, the good FAR outweighs the bad for this beat. 9.5/10

Voices: The Grim impersonator is really good. Occasionally, the Jamaican voice kind of fades a bit, but it still sounds a lot like him. The Death voices aren't mind-blowing or anything, but they're definitely good enough and they add more to the bad than they take away. 9/10

Grim-Round 1: The opening line is a decent reference, but it's not much of a dis or boast. The Soul Eater reference is pretty good, while the third line is just a jokeless reference. The OCD joke could've been better. Excalbur's cameo is rather obvious but still funny, and Magic Tools is nice. Next 2 lines aren't great but they aren't bad, and the next OCD line isn't too creative, as with the Medusa line. The verses ends on a strong foot with 2 pretty good lines. 8/10

Death the Kid-Round 1: The first 2 lines are a bit pointless, since they're not really disses or boasts or anything. The nigh infinitesimal line is alright, but the symmetrical line is great, if only because of the one saying it. The western jester line isn't brilliant, and the child molester line is kind of obvious, but starting with the fast rap, pretty much every line in the verse is a good line. Good references, clever jokes, and that last line is just on point. Extra half point for the flow. 9.5/10

Grim-Round 2: Clever opening line. Second line isn't as clever, but the Asura-nce pun is good, and the Grim pun is good despite being a rather predictable. The soul technique line is kind of a basic insult. The Death Cannon line, while also rather simple, is a bit more clever. The Eibon line isn't that creative, and the last line's decent. 8.5/10

Death and Death the Kid-Round 2: The DWMA line isn't brilliant, but it's a pretty good set-up to the next line, which I like. The old sot line's kind of generic, and the Reaper Chop line has some nice wordplay. Maybe I'm missing something with the accusation line, but it seems kind of simple. The allow me to kill you quote is decent, but it seems to be too referencey and not jokey enough. The arachnophobia line is alright, and the thanatophobia line is nice. The execution mode line is also more reference than joke, but the spooky scary skeleton joke is great. The Endsville pun is really nice, and the last line's not bad, but it's a bit of an underwhelming way to close out the battle. It's not really a "drop the mic" sort of line. 8.5/10

Overall: This battle sounds really great. Audio is really fun to listen to. And lyrically, it's really strong too. A few of the references are just thrown in and not joked about, but there's more than enough jokes and references to keep this battle from ever dropping below average (whereas there are many points that are some of the strongest I've ever seen in a fan made battle). 8.5/10

Grim's Best Line: So full of yourself, acting like a Magic TOOL!
Grim's Worst Line: I’m the Master of the Forces of Life and Death!
Death the Kid's Best Line: Losing to a game of Limbo? How low can you go?
Death the Kid's Worst Line: I’m sure that all my paintings are quite level on the wall
Death's Best Line: This O.G. M.C. will leave you to R.I.P. today
Death's Worst Line: I have the Spirit to fight while you’re just an old sot!

Final Results:
Grim: 16.5/20
Death the Kid and Death: 18/20

Total Score: 61.5/70 (equivalent to 43/50)

I must commend you for pumping out these reviews so fast and still making them actually good :3

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt

I must commend you for pumping out these reviews so fast and still making them actually good :3

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Thanks. I had a lot of free time today.

My PATD Vs FOB?

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...195#post392195

Here's my review of King vs. Polar. Next is Iron Man vs. Rcoketeer.

Spoiler: 

King in the North-Round 1: The first line is a joke that had to be made, and this one isn't that clever. The second line isn't really a threat or dis, and while I see where you were going with the bread line, "putting someone between 2 pieces of bread" isn't really threatening. The TJB line is pretty good, and while the Josh line isn't brilliant, it's funny. Same with the villainy line. The grow a pear joke has kind of been done before. Nice way to end the verse though. 8.5/10

PolarBore-Round 1: A few of these lines start off more clever than they finish. You know, it starts off with like 3 references and then ends with a simple dis or something. That's the only bad thing I can say about this verse, and even those lines are still good because of how they start. Memes, jokes, references, all really good, and not a single bad line in the verse. 10/10

King in the North-Round 2: First line doesn't really work since he's not demoted anymore. The brown kid line is OK but not quite threatening enough. Nice Robb and Stark puns and then a really good joke about the famous meme to end the verse. 8.5/10

PolarBore-Round 2: The first line, while clever, isn't much of a threat or a dis or anything, so it's a bit pointless. The rest of the verse is perfect,, funny, clever, all the good stuff. You have reached rap enlightenment, if I do say so myself. 9.5/10

Overall: Good effort from both sides, every verse in this battle is nice. KitN, you have the reference thing down here, as pretty much every line has something. They just need to tie in more to the punchline, I suppose. Polar, I've been trying for a few minutes, but I can't think of any advice to give you. It's clear you know as well as I do how to make a good verse. 9/10

King in the North's Best Line: I'll tell you one more time, stop dancing with Sam!
King in the North's Worst Line: I'll sit here sipping my tea, while I dis you universally
PolarBore's Best Line: You 'avin a Giggle, m8? Let Cheese give your TDFE run an outline
PolarBore's Worst Line: I've got no relations with that crook, don't get it twisted, Hen-tied Knot

Final Results:
King in the North: 17/20
PolarBore: 19.5/20

Total Score: 45.5/50

Thanks, Sam. (I already talked to you about the Spirit pun :p)

Gonna be that guy and ask for another review. Audio only as of now. https://soundcloud.com/mancha-4/bcvfk39

Here's my review of YN and Lohy's Iron Man vs. Rocketeer. Next is Lohal Dahordan vs. Pole the Bore.

Spoiler: 

Rocketeer-Round 1: First line isn't bad for a set-up, and the second line is pretty good. The heart problems line is a bit too fact-statey, although it could've made for a better joke. I like the 2 lines following it. The piece by piece line isn't bad, while the Invincible Iron Man line probably could've been a little better. Then the verse has a real nice stretch of like 3 good lines. The 19 year old nerd line is kind of a funny self-reference but it's not that brilliant. The Rhode pun is decent but it could be a bit more dissy, and the Irony Man line is great. 9/10

Iron Man-Round 1: The bubble gum line is too much reference, not enough joke, and the second line is just a basic insult. Third line isn't much more than a simple platitude, but the Mars line is the verse's first really good line, and it starts a nice combo of good lines that lasts until the integrity line. The re-find line isn't much of a joke, and while I can appreciate the Cliff pun, it doesn't really make sense. How do you throw a story off a cliff? The porn line is kind of funny but not too great on its own, although it sets up a pretty great line. The last 2 lines are just a generic boast and a generic insult. 8/10

Rocketeer-Round 2: Not very clever but a funny first line, and the glass line isn't bad either. The racketeering line isn't jokey enough, and the Page joke was already done before in an earlier verse. Not too keen on the Potts line, since he kind of IS smoking her, so it's not much of a dis. It ends pretty strong though. 8/10

Iron Man-Round 2: The McPizza reference is just kind of random. The Iron Chef reference is slightly less random and is thus a pretty good line. The Avengers reference is a pretty clever boast, and the direct to DVD sequel line is awesome. The song references are pretty well done and funny. It ends with another already-used pun, but this is still the best verse in the battle. 9.5/10

Overall: For the most part, this battle definitely has enough laughs and enough references. The balance is a bit off in parts, with some lines making references without jokes and some making jokes without references, but for the most part, it does a pretty good job. 8.5/10

Rocketeer's Best Line: Irony Man at it’s finest when the rich white guy gets out done by the black dude!
Rocketeer's Worst Line: Sure, you have plenty of success but I see through your lies
Iron Man's Best Line: (I teamed up with gods amongst men, bringing the thunder to cinema unequaled) Yours was so shit they couldn't even avenge it with a direct to DVD sequel!
Iron Man's Worst Line: So listen to the engineer this one time when he warns you of danger

Final Results:
Rocketeer: 17/20
Iron Man: 17.5/20

Total Score: 43/50

Here's my quickie review of Lohal Dahordan vs. Pole the Bore. Next is Clementine vs. Clemi.

Spoiler: 

Lohal Dahordan-Round 1: Some of these are almost clever, but still hilariously stupid. Quite faithful to the original. 9.5/10

Pole the Bore-Round 1: Again, a few almost clever references. Well done execution of the friend line. 9/10

Lohal Dahordan-Round 2: Not as many hits at last verse, but it still has its share of laughs for sure. The caps lock is used very well here. 8.5/10

Pole the Bore-Round 2: Funniest verse in the battle in my opinion. Lots of references that are executed perfectly lame. 9.5/10

Overall: Really clever idea, really good execution. Definitely captures the essence of the original. 9/10

Lohal Dahordan's Best Line: You always ban people, what are you a banner?
Pole the Bore's Best Line: shove a pickle better yet a banana up your ass get some banana satisfaction

Final Results:
Lohal Dahordan: 18/20
Pole the Bore: 18.5/20

Total Score: 45.5/50

This pls http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...671#post392671 c:

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...699#post392699

Can I substitute this for Lake of Fire?

You should review Lil Wayne's 6 Foot 7 Foot.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PolarBore

You should review Lil Wayne's 6 Foot 7 Foot.

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That's the second best Weezy song IMO. (The first being Drop the World). It's not perfect. Both songs suffer from a less astounding guest verse after Wayne's. Unlike Drop the World, 6 Foot 7 Foot doesn't have a center point or any organization. But what it does have is a myriad of genius lines and (of course) an amazing beat.

Here's my review of Clementine vs. Clemi. Next is Jack the Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter.

Spoiler: 

Clementine-Round 1: A few of these lines are actually quite clever, but they aren't dissy or threatening enough, so they don't really work. The permaban line turns the verse in the right direction though. The materials line is pretty clever, and the pony line is a nice retort. 8/10

Clemi-Round 1: Dang, this is a well done verse. I love the puns and the comparisons. The only line I think was a bit average was the Season 1 line, as it's kind of a basic and generic insult that doesn't really try hard enough. But aside from that, this verse is loaded with great lines. 9.5/10

Clementine-Round 2: Pretty great reference in the first line. The tough life line isn't too clever. While the 3rd line is a bit fact-statey, it's a really good argumentative line, kind of like Mercury's My Way line. The last line is even better. 9/10

Clemi-Round 2: I like the Carl reference, but the Mary Sue line is a bit of a generic insult without too much thought behind it. The Ben Paul hypnosis line isn't bad, but the last line is a really good reference and just a brutal line. 8.5/10

Overall: This was really funny. A lot of pretty clever references and puns. Some of the lines seem to have more thought put into them than others, as a few are rather generic insults, but there's still a ton to like in this battle. 8.5/10

Clementine's Best Line: I made Pewdiepie cry, I can do the same for his wannabe!
Clementine's Worst Line: I didn't choose the tough life, the tough life chose me!
Clemi's Best Line: HAH, I played you like a walkthrough, even your fans will remember this !
Clemi's Worst Line: But let's get this back to season 1, when you whiny little brat never stopped to complain

Final Results:
Clementine: 17/20
Clemi: 18/20

Total Score: 43.5/50

Here's my review of Jack the Ripper vs. Hannibal Lecter. Next is Jesus vs. Joffrey.

Spoiler: 

Beat: So as you've probably heard from many, this is a pretty dang good beat. It's definitely catchy, it really fits both rappers well, it's absolutely intense and it definitely varies itself throughout the battle. Even by the 3rd verse it still hasn't finished varying itself. Probably the best beat they've ever used, and it really makes this battle. 10/10

Impressions and Costumes: I really like the casting choice of Dan Bull as Jack the Ripper. Considering we don't know who Jack was, chances are he was probably just some normal British dude, and as such he probably sounded like a normal British dude. Dan Bull, being a normal British dude, fills this role quite well. His costume is also pretty well done. Maybe they could've gotten a bit clever and done some thing where they didn't show his face, but this still works well. As for Hannibal, the costume is pretty perfect. Lloyd looks slightly young, but it's not too noticeable. As for the voice, it's not perfect, but it's pretty good. His pitch is actually spot on. Hopkins has a really high-pitched voice in that role. My only complaint here is that he sounds too snarly and angry. Hannibal rarely got angry in the movie and even when he was angry, he still usually kept his voice calm. Lloyd's mannerisms really help that out though. 9.5/10

Jack the Ripper-Round 1: Not a huge fan of the opening line, since the liquor could've made for a much better joke. Heck, this one doesn't even make any point. That Twitter line is actually really clever though. I liked it before I realized the whole "before the dawn" thing, but once I got that it became one of my favorite lines in the battle. Human trigger warning is funny, albeit not brilliant or anything, and the sick appalling line is pretty basic. The next 2 lines are complete filler and ear candy. The horrorcore reference is pretty nice, but it's followed by another generic non-joke. The "on their knees" line, while it isn't a reference, is actually pretty dang clever and threatening. The police line's nothing too special, and the last line is a pretty nice finisher. Kind of wish more of Jack's lines were like it, but this verse isn't that bad. It definitely has its moments. 8/10

Hannibal Lecter-Round 1: Hannibal's diagnosis at the beginning is pretty good. The jacket line's not bad but it's not great either, but I LOVE the lotion in the basket line. Perfect way to follow up megalomaniac claims. I didn't realize the "catching illness" thing in the next line until now, but I'm still not a big fan of the line since pretty much anyone ever could've said something like it, if you substitute the serial killer with something else. The chianti line, while a bit predictable, is fairly well done. Pretty nice historical reference with the piss line. I got a nice kick out of the OJ Simpson line, but the verse ends on a rather weak note. It's just fact-statey, no hidden meaning or anything. This verse is better than Jack's but only slightly really. Just by a line or 2. 8.5/10

Jack the Ripper-Round 2: OK, so yeah, the "I'M REAL" thing is dumb, but that line is still a clever line because of what comes next. It's not a reference, no, but it's still a pretty clever "vacancies" joke. The novel line isn't ery good. The next 2 lines, while they make some clever points, aren't really jokes. They'd work better in like a political debate than a rap battle. I like the Dexter line a fair amount. It makes a point like the earlier lines in the verse, but it works a joke into said point. The from hell line is pretty subtle and clever, and the terrorizing London line isn't nearly as bad as Lecter makes it seem in the next verse. I actually think it's a pretty decent line, and this verse, to me, puts Jack above the average ERB rapper. 9/10

Hannibal Lecter-Round 2: I got pretty happy when I heard that opener. That was the point where I said "OK, they did Lecter right". The Ray Liotta line is also pretty clever. Everyone gushes over the next lines, and while I don't think they're the best lines in the battle, they're pretty good lines and they sound awesome. The serial killer pun is really great. I almost put a serial pun in my Hannibal battle but forgot about it, and this made me mad that I did. The sloppy line also helps build Lecter's character that they're doing such a great job with, and the verse ends on a strong note. It's slightly underwhelming for a finisher, but it's still a good line on its own. This is one of the strongest verses of the season, and is actually not too far away from a 10. 9.5/10

Overall: Really well made all around. It's not the absolute best battle lyrically, but it gets a lot of big laughs, as well as some subtle gems. The presentation for this battle is top notch. Everything about this battle is fun to watch. 9/10

Jack the Ripper's Best Line: Jack the rapper, following you way before the dawn of Twitter.
Jack the Ripper's Worst Line: An infamous, notorious delinquent.
Hannibal Lecter's Best Line: Quit jacking off on the track and put the lotion in the basket!
Hannibal Lecter's Worst Line: Barney, take me back to solitary confinement.

Final Results:
Jack the Ripper: 17/20
Hannibal Lecter: 18/20

Total Score: 63.5/70

Can you review my John D Rockefeller vs. Bill Gates from Epic Rap Battles of Mangle-ry?

Can you do Bach vs Lil Wayne please?

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...202#post393202

Oh and can you also maybe review Smosh vs. TheVlogBrothers (Or if you're being technical, Ian and Anthony vs. Hank and John)

Could you please review my series (Items of Power) so far?

You know what? I've never been reviewed. Give it a shot if you like. Link in my sig, if you're interested!

Here's my review of Sane's Jesus Christ vs. Joffrey Baratheon. Next is Oprah vs. Ellen.

Spoiler: 

Jesus Christ-Round 1: The highlights in this verse are the puns. The Hebrews line, the Cersei line and the last line are all pretty great. The other lines are a bit fact-statey and obvious. The references are here, but they don't attempt quite enough jokes. 7.5/10

Joffrey Baratheon-Round 1: This verse does right what the Jesus one didn't do right. The comparison lines are pretty clever. The Satan line is kind of obvious, but the Barath pun is good, and the debts and last line are pretty brutal, insulting, clever disses. 8.5/10

Jesus Christ-Rest of the Battle: The first 2 lines are just kind of platitudes, nothing too clever. I thought the ending thing with the cup was actually, while a bit forced, pretty clever. It reminded me of the end of BC vs. RJ. 8/10

Joffrey Baratheon-Round 2: The water into wine line could've been better, this one was kind of basic. Really like the last 2 lines though. The miracle thing is great and the nailed pun is pretty funny too, even though I've kind of heard it before. 8.5/10

Overall: I'm really impressed that you wrote this in 20 minutes, this was actually quite good. There's a fair amount of filler lines that don't make any jokes, but the jokes that are there are pretty great. If you just tried a bit harder to put a joke into every line, these battles could be really great. 8/10

Jesus Christ's Best Line: (While it used to be a necessity, to breed with family and flourish the human race.) Your father had no excuse, to Cersei himself finish on your aunt’s face.
Jesus Christ's Worst Line: I wish you the best my son, and with love, I rise up.
Joffrey Baratheon's Best Line: It’s a miracle, you’ve lived 30 years and have never taken a wife.
Joffrey Baratheon's Worst Line: What did you say to your king you twat?

Final Results:
Jesus Christ: 15.5/20
Joffrey Baratheon: 17/20

Total Score: 40.5/50

Thank you! I will work harder next time.

Can you review my Felix Vs. Neill battle http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...les-of-History

Review my Brutus vs. Altair? http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post370217

Here's my very timely review of Ellen DeGeneres vs. Oprah Winfrey. Next is Asylum.

Spoiler: 

Beat: Honestly, I think this is one of the main reasons this battle gets a lot of hate. Not because it's bad, or unfitting, but because it's not intense. The fans love intense beats, and so far this season has delivered on those. This one just stands out as not as memorable as the others. Miley vs. Joan made the same mistake. It really wasn't a good beat for someone as badass as Joan. But to its credit, it is catchy, and it does really fit both of them well. It's just a bit boring compared to the rest of the season. 7.5/10

Impressions and Costumes: Like a lot of people are saying, Ellen's voice is off and Oprah's face is off. Ellen's voice needs to be a little more...nasaly I suppose. And yes I'm going to say it, Oprah's real face is fatter than November's. But this casting still isn't that bad, as Lauren does look a lot like Ellen, and November does sound a fair amount like Oprah. Plus, the clothes for the costumes are great. 8/10

Ellen DeGeneres-Round 1: The beginning lines are a pretty good reference, and the Stedman line makes it even better. Then the next few lines aren't anything special, just ear candy. I used to like the lesbian line, but over time I decided it's kind of an obvious joke and the way it's delivered is kind of annoying, for some reason. The OWN line is nice, and the Dr. Phil cameo makes for a pretty hilarious line, although it kind of makes me sad we didn't get Freud vs. Phil. The Rachel Ray line was decent enough when I first heard it, but when I found the double meaning, I really got a kick out of it. This verse does have some filler around the middle, but the wordplay keeps it afloat. Not the best verse in the battle, but a pretty dang good one. 9/10

Oprah Winfrey-Round 1: Ew at that opening filler line. Good thing the second line gets this verse going really well. I love the delivery of that line too. The dope Oprah line sounds cool but it's done before, while the Deepak Chokeya line is pretty good. The petting zoo thing is pretty clever, and the dancing visual cue makes it even better. I'm glad they did a Dory reference, as there would've been riots in the street if there wasn't any, and while this one isn't that clever, it's funny, so I'm glad it's there. The last line kind of misses for me. I get it, but it's not really witty. Still, a pretty strong verse all things considered. Just a shade below Ellen's. 8.5/10

Ellen DeGeneres-Round 2: I missed the #thatPOWER reference in the first line the first time I heard it, but it didn't really give the line any purpose. It doesn't make any point aside from "You're right". The smile line isn't anything special, and while I liked the Miracle Mile line at first, I grew out of it. It's a pretty simple reference that doesn't try hard enough. She manages to fit 2 really good lines in by the end of the verse, those being the Tom Cruise line and the tax on a free car line, but those 2 lines are sort of it for this verse. The flow isn't mind-blowing either, so this verse in total shapes up to be pretty meh, and probably the weakest of the season so far. 7.5/10

Oprah Winfrey-Round 2: There could've been a better mullet line honestly. This one is just kind of "lol you have a mullet" without joking about it or anything. The show line is kind of done before, but it's decent. Next 2 lines are both pretty great, subtle references. The Fortune 500 line isn't too strong, and the Dalai Lama line didn't really get me either. The market line is pretty awesome, while the last line is....OK. Stedman makes it a lot better, but the line on its own doesn't really impress me that much. This verse isn't one of my all time favorites or anything, but it's pretty good, and definitely secures Oprah the win. 9/10

Overall: DEFINITELY doesn't deserve all the hate. This is FAAAAAAAAAAR from the worst they've ever done. In fact, if you factor in all the battles they've ever done, it's definitely above average for me. It's got a few more noticeable flaws than some of the latest battles, and doesn't stand out as much, so it's probably the weakest of the season so far, but it's still pretty enjoyable. Some really nice lyrics in certain parts and some pretty good costumes at least make it more entertaining than something like Bill O'Reilly vs. John Lennon. 8/10

Ellen DeGeneres' Best Line: (You can tell Rachel Ray that my favorite recipe) Is chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces!
Ellen DeGeneres' Worst Line: I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens!
Oprah Winfrey's Best Line: So check under your seat because I got something for ya!
Oprah Winfrey's Worst Line: I'm the Queen of TV and I'm here to destroy ya.

Final Results:
Ellen DeGeneres: 16.5/20
Oprah Winfrey: 17.5/20

Total Score: 57.5/70

Here's my review of Chapter 1 pf Asylum. Next is Spielberg vs. Hitchcock.

Spoiler: 

Characters: I love the Mr. Bean pic for Ranger's guy. Anyway, everything here is so perfectly mysterious. There's nothing really to be said about the staff aside from that they're intriguing and you want to know more about them. Dr. Sam is super suspicious, and you know he's up to something and you want to know what it is. The interviewer is a bit harder to get a read on, but I guess that the interviewer usually isn't supposed to make it about himself. 8.5/10

Grammar: The biggest problem is comma splices. Commas are a bit overused in places where it'd probably be best to start a new sentence. Some words in the middle of sentences are unnecessarily capitalized too, but there's nothing too distracting here. 8/10

Plot: There isn't really too much of a plot, but I do like the course of the interview. The questions gradually get a bit more intense each time, and Dr. Sam just keeps getting more and more suspicious. There's a nice build here that really hooks readers in. 9/10

Total Score: 25.5/30

Here's my review of Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock. Next is Wumbo's drawings.

Spoiler: 

Beat: Any one of these beats individually might not have gotten such a high score, but when they're all used together like this, the beat changes before it gets too repetitive. It works beautifully together. For the Russians, the opening beat got a bit old after a while, and for Trump vs. Scrooge, the last beat got old, but this royale doesn't suffer that problem. Every one of these beats are SO fitting for their respective rappers, and they're all pretty catchy. 10/10

Impressions and Costumes: I'll start with the voices. Peter's got the right inflections, but he sounds a bit too Peter-y. Spielberg's voice isn't too distinctive, but it's still not spot on. Hitchcock sounds really great in the beginning, but when he picks up the volume it gets a bit off. Tarantino sounds perfect. Kubrick also doesn't have a distinctive voice, but it's good enough for me. Bay's voice is accurate enough and it really suits him. As for costumes, honestly, everyone looks perfect to me. All of them, at least at the right angle, are indistinguishable from the real people. 9.5/10

Steven Spielberg: I'll do these all out of 20 because some of them are so close to each other and I want to rank them. Anyway, I think it's pretty clever how Spielberg opens up with a sort of pitch, and he manages to work references into them. Then there's a really great wombo combo with all the movie references, which cleverly all reference one Spielberg film and then one Hitchcock film. The DGA line is filler, and the Bay line in this verse is pretty funny. Not too impressed with the fat joke here, they could've done something more clever than that (maybe a "we're gonna need a bigger boat" reference). The Amblin line that follows it is pretty good though. The cartoons line is complete filler, the Jimmy Stewart line is kind of funny, the visit line is sort of wasted potential, and the last line is awesome. 19/20

Alfred Hitchcock: Excellent starting 2 lines, and the John Williams line is decent, although it could've been more clever. The brilliance line is filler. I wouldn't really like the master of suspense line if not for the Psycho chord thrown in, that was a nice touch. The Megan Fox line isn't too strong on its own, but Hitchcock's dance and Spielberg's history with Megan Fox make it a good line. I like the next 2 lines, but they kind of contradict each other. I mean, Hitchcock makes fun of how not-scary the props Spielberg uses are, and then brags about making people scream with chocolate syrup. I'm probably just nitpicking there though. The mamma-jamma line flows well but isn't really clever, and the last line's pretty good. This verse also definitely gets bonus points for the flow, probably the best flowing verse in the battle. 18.5/20

Quentin Tarantino: Good intro with the "CUT", but the next line is all flow and no joke. Definitely giving him bonus flow points, don't get me wrong, but still. I sincerely doubt anyone knows Hitchcock JUST for Psycho, but the blood in the shower line is really good. The next few lines are way too fact-statey, but there's just so much personality in those lines that it's hard not to like them. The Michael Bay line in this verse is nice, and the Sam Jackson line is good too. The next 2 lines wouldn't be that good without Tarantino's "FUCK" and "DICK", but they sort of save the lines. The genius line is nothing special, but the bad motherfucker line ends the verse nicely. 18/20

Stanley Kubrick: Worst opening 2 lines of anyone in this battle, but it gets better. The frame-painting thing is kind of clever. I don't like the 127 times line, could've been much better than just a fact stating really. The last 3 lines are all pretty clever in their own right. Not too much to say about this verse besides that it's good, but it's weaker than the other verses in the battle. 17.5/20

Michael Bay: The opening line isn't anything special, but the star line is decent. The Bruckheimer line isn't that clever, but then the next few lines are some of the biggest laughs ERB has ever provided, if not the biggest. Aside from the dollar one, all of the money lines are pretty clever and funny. The nuts line is so stupid but it made me laugh, and the one that still gets me even after watching it so many times is the sequel line. The eagle line is a reference I just now got that's not bad, and the last line is a bit obvious. Still, a wildly entertaining verse, and I think it's got a higher % lines that made an impact on me than any other verse in this battle. 19.5/20

Overall: So, so well made. It's got a few filler lines holding it down, but they just get completely drowned out by the laughs. As a side note, the personalities and mannerisms in this battle also blow any other battle's personalities and mannerisms out of the water. I had a feeling something could top MLK vs. Gandhi, I had a feeling something could top Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters, I don't know if ERB's ever going to top this. 9.5/10

Steven Spielberg's Best Line: I'm Always so on top of my game, I get the Vertigo!
Steven Spielberg's Worst Line: I produce cartoons and make games for all ages!
Alfred Hitchcock's Best Line: (That was a close encounter of the turd kind) but there won't be a pretty ending this time.
Alfred Hitchcock's Worst Line: Now brace yourself as I reveal by brilliance!
Quentin Tarantino's Best Line: (There's only 1 movie I know you from!) And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one.
Quentin Tarantino's Worst Line: Quentin Tarantino is a....genius.
Stanley Kubrick's Best Line: I'll make you Learn to Love me, I'm the Bomb, drop ultraviolet rhymes!
Stanley Kubrick's Worst Line: (Genius is a powerful word, but there's no reason to use it) Less you're talkin' bout the Kubrick, then there's really nothing to it.
Michael Bay's Best Line: Got no time to read reviews while I'm workin' on the sequel!
Michael Bay's Worst Line: That's enough! I've had enough crap from all of you.

Ranking:
Michael Bay: 19.5/20
Steven Spielberg: 19/20
Alfred Hitchcock: 18.5/20
Quentin Tarantino: 18/20
Stanley Kubrick: 17.5/20

Total Score: 121.5/130 (equivalent to 65.5/70)

Here's my review of Tomzaa's drawings. Next is Panic at the Disco vs. Fall-Out Boy.

Spoiler: 

Drawing 1: So keep in mind I'm really not much of an art critic. Anyway, this is really, really good. I have to play a sort of spot-the-differences to find any slight changes between the real thing and the drawing. I mean, if I had to nitpick, I guess some of the shadows are a bit straighter than they are in the actual drawing. But that's really just me trying to find some way to keep this from getting too praisey. 9.5/10

Drawing 2: This is just about as good as the first one. The eye is just barely off, maybe a bit too "liney", and the shadows are still slightly too straight. So I like the first drawing just a little more, but this is still really, really good-looking, and probably miles better than anything anyone I know could do. 9/10

http://gyazo.com/91868c5ab8950c9984600ffcaafed99d

ty sammy <3

Here's my review of Jirachimney's Panic! at the Disco vs. Fall Out Boy. Next is Freddy Krueger vs. Bill Cipher.

Spoiler: 

Panic! at the Disco-Round 1: The Pretty.Odd reference to open the verse is funny, but not too clever. I found the second line a better reference. There could've been a better Disney line, and the Maneaters reference is pretty much just thrown in there. I like the Bass-icly pun, but the next line needs a reference. Pretty good reference in the burns line, but the last line's not too strong. Still, this verse has a few real goodies. 8.5/10

Fall Out Boy-Round 1: While obvious, I like the opening line, but the next line isn't as good. The arms race line is a bit too obvious, and the next line is just filler. The Immortals line is sort of a reference without a joke, but the next 2 references are nice. Not the strongest reference to end on, but still a good verse. 8/10

Panic! at the Disco-Round 2: The rock line could sort of be used against any rock band, but it's still funny. The Beat it line's pretty good too, but the last 2 lines, while references, don't really make any boasts or disses, so they're kind of just there. 8/10

Fall Out Boy-Round 2: The first line's not really a joke, but I like the Folie à Douches line. The cover band is also not a joke, and the last line is funny, but kind of basic, and a bit of a sloppy transition into the 3rd party. 8/10

Blood on the Dance Floor-Round 3: Aside from some filler lines, this is a really, really strong verse. The references range from decent to really funny, and there's a LOT of them. To me, the only references that don't hit their target are the All the Rage line and the IDGAF line, since they're not really boasts or disses. But still, really good verse. 9.5/10

Overall: A strong battle to be sure. There are some filler lines, and some references that don't completely make your mark, but when you make that many attempts, then you definitely get some good pay-offs. Just make sure to cut out the filler next time, and only put a line in if you're really proud of it. 8/10

Panic! at the Disco's Best Line: Our raps cause burns you cant sweat out
Panic! at the Disco's Worst Line: So sit back and let us show you what rock's all about!
Fall Out Boy's Best Line: Its time to Save Rock and Roll from these worthless pussies!
Fall Out Boy's Worst Line: And we're destroying these fucks, putting them right in their place!
Blood on the Dance Floor's Best Line: Our rhymes are Epic, our flow's Horrifically Delicious
Blood on the Dance Floor's Worst Line: BOTDF versus Panic? You're all fucked!

Final Results:
Panic! at the Disco: 16.5/20
Fall Out Boy: 16/20
Blood on the Dance Floor: 9.5/10 (equivalent to 19/20)

Total Score: 50/60 (equivalent to 41.5/50)

Can you review my Pele Vs. OJ Simpson rap battle. http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...les-of-History