Presidential Reviews

Shaka vs. Caesar time.

Spoiler: 

Beat:
Relevance-I think it fits both of them very well. Maybe Caesar just a little more than Shaka excluding the African drums. Sounds very empire-esque. 2.5/2.5
Catchiness-There’s not too much of a memorable tune to this battle, yet it still manages to stick with you. I don’t know why, really. 2/2.5
Intensity-I got hyped up on like, the first note. 2.5/2.5
Variety-It doesn’t really develop much from beginning to end, but there’s definitely more than enough instrumental variety to keep it interesting throughout the whole thing. 2.5/2.5
Overall: Really reminds me a lot of the Zeus vs. Thor beat, which is a good thing. I guess I’m giving it the same score. 9.5/10

Costumes:
Shaka Zulu-There are some things to nitpick about, sure, but I don’t think there’s anything big enough to take off points. 2/2
Julius Caesar-Definitely looks like the sculptures of him, from the hair to the weird make-up, which I kind of thought was annoying at first but I got over it. 2/2
Extras: The soldiers all look really cool. Costumes have perfect colors and details, weapons all look right, all is well. 1/1

Voices:
Shaka Zulu-He’s got a slight African accent, and that’s really all you need. Destorm has a cool voice, so I’m glad they didn’t make it so thick that he didn’t sound like himself anymore. 2.5/2.5
Julius Caesar-I was not expecting this at all, but I thoroughly enjoyed this villainous Jeremy Irons-esque voice. It really does fit Caesar, since he kinda wanted to take over the world and stuff. 2.5/2.5

Shaka Zulu-Round 1:
Iwisa, meet Caesar; he's a commander
This is a pretty cool way of saying “Say hello to my little friend”. Helps that Iwisa rhymes with Caesar.
Who thinks he can dance with Conan of the Savanna,
Eh, kind of a random reference.
But when I go hand-to-hand with you, I go hammer!
Decent parody of going HAM rap cliche, but not brilliant.
Knock off his dome, wrap it up in his own banner!
Pretty clever historical reference.
Send it back to Rome with a message from the Zulu!
If you battle Shaka, this what happen to you!
Sounds cool, not that clever otherwise.
If you cross that Equator, you'll head straight into a massacre,
I thought this was a pretty great way of dissing Caesar for never making it over the equator.
And get fucked by more than just Cleopatra in Africa!
Definitely funny, if a bit obvious. Although if we’re going by ERB canon Cleopatra isn’t exactly something Caesar should be mocked for
Overall: It’s got some clever subtle historical references, and some strong “oooh” lines at the end. 9/10

Julius Caesar-Round 1:
You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper.
I think I might’ve found this more funny if the Shaka costume looked like a diaper, which it doesn’t. It’s still mildly amusing, and OK for an opener.
I heard you had poison spit, where was it in this cypher?
Clever historical reference and pun.
Cause all I hear is threats from a brute with no discipline
Nice subtle Brutus reference that helps out an otherwise generic insult.
And I’m ruling over you like a boot full of my citizens!
ERB kinda already made a better boot joke in TMNT vs. Artists. This one’s OK, but as far as threats in this battle go this one’s not quite as strong as some of the others.
You should take your cow skin shield and hide under it!
Simple, funny pun. I like it.
You’re fucking with the most triumphant third of the Triumverate!
I’m first of the Empire and last of the Republicans,
Fact statey. Also makes me wish they made some kind of “Republican” joke referencing modern politics.
And hunting you, accompanied by legions of my countrymen!
Fits in a reference to African hunting and the famous “lend me your ears” quote, so I like it.
Ask my kidnappers if I’m just a shit talker,
This is pretty funny when you look up the whole story.
Doc J dunk on you like Boom Shakalaka!
I would’ve been very mad if they missed this reference. And it’s done well enough here.
So don’t go rattling your sticks at me!
If I wanted to shake spears, I’d waggle my biography!
I’m not really sure if the point of the line is to insult or boast or what. It’s clever though, so I’d still calll it a good line.
Overall: Very few below average lines, and a handful of pretty great lines. 9/10

Shaka Zulu-Round 2:
Right, I’ve heard of your play. Tell me, how does it end?
Oh yes! You get stabbed many times by your friends!
I was disappointed with this line. Destorm’s delivery helps it out, but they really could’ve made a better assassination joke than this.
So whatcha gonna do with your Roman swords?
When the lines of your legions get gored by the horns
Of the Zulu Warriors! Trained on thorns
There really aren’t enough jokes in these 3 lines.
To dismember any emperor’s pasty white hoards!
This is a bit more clever.
I got the strength of a lion and the speed of a cheetah!
Decent set up line.
And everyone knows you’re just a chicken, Caesar!
Pretty funny. The salad joke had to be done, and this was a cool way to do it.
Overall: This verse is really nothing special up until the very end. Definitely not enough to keep up with Caesar. 7.5/10

Julius Caesar-Round 2:
Oooh can I be a hyena? Cause I’m going to laugh!
This is a pretty great comeback. Gives me a real vibe of “is that all you got”.
I’ll pave roads with the bones of your goat-herding ass!
Nice Rome reference.
First my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest,
Then I’ll decimate your horns, you can’t outflank the best!
Gives me a cool cinematic mental image, and there are some clever reference to some Roman military tactics too.
Let your reserves come at me, my ballista’s cocked and (Ready!)
Is it just me or is this a string of sexual innuendos? Since the reserves are referring to the “loins”. If so, I think this is one of the more intelligent sex jokes I’ve heard.
When I take (Aim!) I always keep my whole crew steady!
Not great on its own, but I think this is a pretty clever, cinematic way of setting up the finisher.
Because there’s no use in murdering you and your heathen.
You can grow my wheat for me after you’re beaten!
Damn, this is brutal. Makes fun of his mom’s death AND a slavery reference.
Overall: This verse is one of my favorites of the season. Lots of subtle references and then that one line at the end really sealing the battle off well. 9.5/10

Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-It’s alright, but I think it’s my least favorite match-up of the storm. When it was confirmed, it was kind of hard for me to really get hyped for it. It’s not the type of match-up you want to really share around and show people. I think Shaka vs. someone more modern and mainstream would’ve worked better, and Caesar could’ve gone against another historical giant. But it’s not a bad idea by any stretch, and it turned out great.
Presentation-Great mannerisms, great visual effects with the soldiers. Having them all look identical makes it look a bit less professional but a lot more funny. I was a bit uncomfortable at first with how they portrayed Caesar as a calm, collected genius and Shaka as kind of a loud brute, but I haven’t seen anyone offended by it, so I guess there’s nothing super wrong with it.

Overall: This one didn’t make a great first impression on me, I thought it was just because I didn’t know enough about them, and I was right. Once I looked up these lines, the battle slowly grew on me, and now I think it’s the best of the storm, just barely. It has some slow parts lyrically, but it’s still just a ton of fun to watch and listen to. 9/10

Shaka Zulu’s Worst Line: So whatcha gonna do with your Roman swords?
Shaka Zulu’s Best Line: If you cross that Equator, you'll head straight into a massacre
Julius Caesar’s Worst Line: I’m first of the Empire and last of the Republicans!
Julius Caesar’s Best Line: You can grow my wheat for me after you’re beaten!

Final Results:
Shaka Zulu: 16.5/20
Julius Caesar: 18.5/20

Total Score: 63.5/70

I think I completely missed that possible joke about the "ballista" line. It would kind of explain those eye movements in the last line too :3

(Also there is some possible evidence that Julius may or may not have been gay/bi. Who knowwwwsssssssssss) :3

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt

I think I completely missed that possible joke about the "ballista" line. It would kind of explain those eye movements in the last line too :3

(Also there is some possible evidence that Julius may or may not have been gay/bi. Who knowwwwsssssssssss) :3

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You saying Juju popped a boner?

And apparently he got buffed boy King Nicomedes in his younger days

Sorry to interrupt you, but can you at sometime review my Cogsworth vs The Chairman battle? (You can find it in the Mancha's Chizzling Guide). Thanks.

From, your former friend
Timmy Turner, or now, you can call me Bigkidrant3

rebiew Kid A

like

all of it

Review my favorite movie

PM me if you accept

Since you let me do this, I would like to reserve a review for an upcoming battle I'm writing. Thank you :3

Quote:

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Originally Posted by echo

An oldie: Can you review "Me vs Clemi", written by Wumbo (as me) and Gunnut (as Clemi)?
Linkerino

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Spoiler: 

Hanako-Round 1:
Oh look what we have here, it's Sick Sick Clemi, the "Real Lime Shady" D:<
Kind of fillery, since it doesn’t really set up the next line in anyway.
When really all he does is pull his Oui Oui, because he can't get a lady o;
You're the king of self-obsessed, still raging over your boyfriend Brad OuO
And flipping out about "mod privilege", sounds like you need a Maxi Pad! x_x
3 funny references, but the jokes aren’t too original.
So go hide from LE DENTIST (Sambama: lol), LIKE YOUR PEOPLE USUALLY DO C:<
This is OK.
You don't mess with Izzy! I can get Dion, Wumby and Hisao to banhammer you! >w> (Dion: OOOHH)
Not really a joke, just a reference.
I bet you wanted to battle Zyroda, but I doubt you could even beat him u_u
When you lose to BBGUN, your chance of winning anything looks grim x3 ( Wumby: damn son)
Nice reference mixing here.
All your country is known for is fries and homophobia, don't forget D:
Generic France insult.
You'll need a ladder to climb to my swag level, you spambot baguette c: (Hisao: god damn)
Could kinda be used for anyone.
Score: 7.5/10

Clemi-Round 1:
Why don't we play un jeu ?
What do you do when you're a mod mais pas courageux?
You take off, take a break for deux semaines
Not really too much to these lines aside from the French.
You'll do the same when I rap, like le dentiste I bring pain
Pretty good comeback to the other dentist line.
I'll burn you like a bad batch of French Fries
Decent.
I'll strike le fear into your :o face's eyes.
Pretty good.
This forum noob don't stand a chance against me.
Feels pretty filler.
The better half of Teabaguette suggests that you flee. (Ranger: Flee!)
It’s a reference, but there isn’t really a joke about that reference, so it feels kinda thrown in.
Because by time this battle of our's has passed.
It'll be Hanako who'll be waving the white flag.
A bit predictable, but it works.
Score: 8/10

Hanako-Round 2:
You can't beat my kawaii, I spit sicknasty fires c;<
With the best art work videos that everyone admires! ;u;
References without jokes.
I'd photoshop your face to look less ugly, but I know it's impossible >w<
I think I’ve heard lines like this before, but I like this.
You might as well escargot, because this Sectional Goddess is unstoppable! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
ERB already did this pun, and this line doesn’t really put any twist on the original line.
You think you're green like a lime? You're more brown like an offender (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
I don’t really get what the line is trying to say. Is it a “brown kid” reference?
It's in your blood and culture, I won't be mad if you surrender! 凸(╹◡╹凸)
Clemi/Gunnut kinda got to the surrender joke first.
Score: 7/10

Clemi-Round 2:
Hon hon, is that le meilleur you have for moi?
Aside from the French, nothing big in this line.
I dominated a Hanako like she's a rap battle croissant.
”Dominating” a croissant doesn’t really make sense to me.
You come into chat, a face like c: c: c:
You step to me, get a face like :c 3: or D: ;-;
Pretty good, a bit similar to the previous :o joke maybe.
The battle's over maintenant, and the winner is moi.
Je suis Clemi, and J'ai tout la victoire
No references aside from the French.
Score: 7/10

Overall: Both sides were decent but had similar flaws. On Wumbo/Hanako’s side, it seemed like the lines were trying too much to fit the personality than to be clever lines on their own. It is pretty well done in that regard, but as a rap battle verse the lines are sometimes a bit predictable. On Gunnut/Clemi’s side, a lot of lines rely too much on the French, and when translated, they sound kind of fillery. Overall, lines were average to decent, but a lot of fun to read because of the personalities. 7/10

Hanako’s Worst Line: Oh look what we have here, it's Sick Sick Clemi, the "Real Lime Shady" D:<
Hanako’s Best Line: I'd photoshop your face to look less ugly, but I know it's impossible >w<
Clemi’s Worst Line: Why don't we play un jeu ?
Clemi’s Best Line: You'll do the same when I rap, like le dentiste I bring pain

Final Results:
Hanako: 14.5/20
Clemi: 15/20

Total Score: 36.5/50

Hello. You may know me as Timmy Turner. Others may know me as ERBfan101. Anyways, can you review my Cogsworth vs the Chairman battle and (if you have time) review my Adolf Hitler & Joseph Goebells vs The Author and his Assistant (Gravity Falls & not revealing names due to EXTREME GF spoilers)

So I can only win a battle by writing as somebody else.

Fun.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sambama Fisher

So I can only win a battle by writing as somebody else.

Fun.

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I'll always be ahead of you m8651616846 :^ )

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Turtle

Could you pls review this? :3

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Spoiler: 

Geralt-Round 1:
This isn't personal, just a contract from a man with a problem
Clever, just not really an insult.
Said there's a self-righteous monster terrorizing Gotham
A reference, but a pretty slight one, and it’s not enough to carry the line.
Let me slap some sense into you, you've probably forgotten
Funny reference, but probably the easiest joke you could’ve made with it.
Does your "one rule" not apply on the Joker and Robin?
This isn’t really much of a joke. Could’ve made for a better line.
You went bat-shit crazy because your parents died. Chill
This line is clever, and weaves references together nicely. Not really much of an insult though.
You can't lie to me, It's not for justice, but for the thrill
Kinda funny, not super clever.
I don't need Witcher's sense to figure out what you are, I'm not fooled by your charade
I gain pieces of your "superpower" after each contract, ha, I can toss away my silver blade
This is awesome. Doesn’t really flow well in my head though.
Score: 8.5/10

Batman-Round 1:
Dual swords were your only advantage, that was not very bright
You're no different from the mutants, thugs and mercenaries I fight every night
I respect your work, you save the people from vicious monsters
But taking money in exchange makes you a common mobster
These are all pretty generic insults.
I'm a symbol of hope, everlasting, I can't be destroyed. I am justice.
Reference without a joke.
You're a symbol of sleaze, consuming illegal substances, leaving people disgusted
Basic insult.
You think your grass tests are a match for the Demon Trials I went through?
Cool comparison line.
You're slowly killing yourself, but I don't have to save you.
Pretty good.
Score: 6.5/10

Geralt-Round 2:
Aardn't you a bit in over your head? You could never face that
Nice double reference.
My flow's like Bane, I'm lyrically breaking the bat
Eh, pretty obvious.
Selling a Batman trophy won't even fetch a Penny's worth
Nice one.
Batman & Robin? I'd rather watch a botchling giving birth
Not genius or anything, just funny.
How could you save me when you couldn't even save your girlfriend?
Kinda confusing, I don’t think Batman was planning on saving Geralt.
Batman is Forever, but this is Bruce Wayne's end
Clever, but it kind of boasts Batman a bit.
Score: 9/10

Batman-Round 2:
It's over, Witcher. I'm doing you a favour, your place is in Arkham
The “it’s over” thing is a pretty good reference, the Arkham part is kind of obvious.
Like your Hexer movie, you're best left forgotten
Cool reference.
Your spells are a Joke, I've seen better magic tricks
Kinda clever, wording at the end is a bit awkward.
There's nothing to plough in the Asylum, you'll be in quite the fix
Too soon after the last Arkham reference.
When I kick up my feet, put on the Wayne mask, grab a scotch
Don’t really see the point he’s making with this line.
And when I get Triss into bed, you'll have my permission to watch
Funny.
Score: 8.5/10

Overall: Lots of references and jokes in this battle, and when they come together it gets really good. Some of these lines are some of the more clever lines I’ve heard in FMERB. The main problem is that a lot of the references aren’t really jokes, or they don’t make a specific point that boasts or disses either of them. This was pretty good overall, I’d be proud of this one. 8/10

Geralt’s Worst Line: I don't need Witcher's sense to figure out what you are, I'm not fooled by your charade (Definitely not a bad line though)
Geralt’s Best Line: Selling a Batman trophy won't even fetch a Penny's worth
Batman’s Worst Line: I respect your work, you save the people from vicious monsters
Batman’s Best Line: You're slowly killing yourself, but I don't have to save you.

Final Results:
Geralt: 17.5/20
Batman: 15/20

Total Score: 40.5/50

Thanks a lot Sam :D I focused so much on making the first verse seem like Batman (looking at you ERb) that I forgot to actually diss Geralt.

Thanks for the review and tips, you da best

Review my Leon S. Kennedy vs. Van Helsing?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by klonoawahoo

Aw, heck. Might as well get some feedback, hm? Do you mind reviewing my first rap battle, which I lovingly call "Hey look... I made a rap battle."? It's pretty easy to find. It's Corrin vs Robin. Thx!

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Spoiler: 

Corrin-Round 1:
The premonitions you have won’t save you this time.
Kind of obvious, but also kind of clever.
You’ll be begging for my mercy at my dragon shrine.
Kind of a simple reference to the dragon shrine.
Just like Gunter at the bridge, I’ll knock you off the grid!
And you’re gonna fall harder than Emmeryn did!
These are some cool puns.
When you meet your defeat, your amnesia will repeat.
The wording of this doesn’t sound very threatening.
You could never kick my ass cause you have no feet!
This is pretty funny.
I’m a Dragon with a burning passion, I turn up the heat!
Pretty simple.
So go back to Ylisse and suck on some bear meat!
Funny, wording is kind of awkwards.
It’s your Fate to have Awakening discarded on a shelf,
Nice double reference.
Before me, your greatest foe was none other than yourself!
Feels kind of fact statey.
It’s not a question of If, it’s a matter of fact!
Nice pun.
You’ll lose here today, and no destiny can change that!
Good reference, though kind of the easiest joke you could make about it.
Score: 9/10

Robin-Round 1:
Yup, I have amnesia, you adopted cur.
I’m gonna try and forget how bad those raps of yours were!
Great comeback.
I’m the most well-versed rapper that’s under the sun.
This pun could kinda be used by a lot of people, so it doesn’t really feel unique for Robin.
You call that rapping? No, here’s how it’s done!
Predictable if you know the character, but pretty good nonetheless.
Why’d you ambition to fight against the tactician magician?
You’ll be wishin’ you were fishin’ for easier competition!
The flow is cool, the lines themselves are eh.
Now I’m bringing the Thunder, shocking you like Thoron!
Fairly simple references.
Come in, beat you, crush your towers like with Sauron!
This outside reference works pretty well for me.
Don’t try to stand up to me with two left feet.
There could’ve been a better two left feet joke than this.
I’ll come and burn you harder than a wyvern in heat!
Joke isn’t too clever, but this is a cool reference anyway.
I’m a matchmaker, too, with exceptional class.
And so Corrin, you may now kiss my ass.
Nice. I’m surprised I haven’t heard this joke in some form already.
Score: 8.5/10


Corrin-Round 2:
I am now free from my citadel with more skills than you could dream of
Fairly easy joke to make about “skills”.
I was forced to train my ass off, now I’m like a second Grima!
Could’ve been a better Grima joke.
I’ll tear through your body quicker than some seaweed in a store.
This is pretty funny.
I thought MY father was controlling. ...And then I met yours!
Your daddy found some bitch and did the No-no Cha-cha.
While rather clever, these dad insults aren’t really insults to Robin.
You were raised to be a puppet and to kill a Naga!
Feels fact-statey.
But you failed him, like how you failed at picking your lines.
Pretty basic joke about failing.
Then you killed him, like I did to this battle with my rhymes!
I think this line tries a bit too hard, doesn’t come off as very subtle.
Stepping in a Prince’s territory is an act of war!
You will die here today, as the son of a whore!
Two fairly simple lines.
This is my verse, My Castle, my win, and my game!
Not the worst “My Castle” reference you could make.
Do you not accept my judgement? Well, your outcome’s still the same!
Nice, pretty brutal.
Score: 7.5/10

Robin-Round 2:
This “win” that you claim is as obscure as your release date!
Funny, took me a second to get.
I’d paint a picture of your future, but it wouldn’t look great
Nice obscure reference.
Everything you’ve said to me was just a mere taunt!
You bitch, my hobby’s killing dragons whenever I want!
Your sibs have always lost you and your family’s a fake.
Mostly fact stating.
Your birth was a mere accident, ‘cause my game took the cake!
The wording on this line is pretty clever.
Since you invite friends to your room to make pornos all the time,
Unsheath your sword, Dragon Warrior, and grind for some Slime!
Funny, and clever, but not really insulting.
Screw your US release, I’ll just come over and seize.
‘Cause you ripped off a Narnia book, and made it Japanese!
Fairly clever reference.
Chrom, get Falchion. Make sure it’s well gripped,
Because this little dragon just got his scales tipped!
This line had to be done, and it was done pretty well here.
Score: 8.5/10

Overall: This is VERY strong for a first battle. I can tell you have the mindset of trying to use as many references as you can and making sure no stone gets overturned. Most of the references have pretty clever jokes about them too. My only real problem is that a few of the lines are a bit predictable and could go a bit deeper with the jokes. But this is really good. 8/10

Corrin’s Worst Line: You were raised to be a puppet and to kill a Naga!
Corrin’s Best Line: It’s not a question of If, it’s a matter of fact!
Robin’s Worst Line: Your sibs have always lost you and your family’s a fake.
Robin’s Best Line: (Yup, I have amnesia, you adopted cur.) I’m gonna try and forget how bad those raps of yours were!

Final Results:
Corrin: 16.5/20
Robin: 17/20

Total Score: 41.5/50

I... actually forgot I asked you to review that. ._.

Thanks for the feedback anyhow. And yeah, wording is my problem. It happens in my writing and it happens in my speaking. Stereotypical Asian with poor speaking skills. :D

Here's the fairly overdue review of the season finale. Next is Miru_Jaca's request that I review a Princess Rap Battle.

Spoiler: 

Beat:
Relevance-Stan Lee’s beat feels pretty actiony but still upbeat, it works. Henson’s just makes me happy, really fits the personality they gave him. Disney’s is kinda creepy and menacing, which may not fit the man but it definitely fits the character they made him here. 2.5/2.5
Catchiness-This beat sadly isn’t too memorable. At least not until the Disney part, there isn’t really a consistent tune, it’s mostly just sounds. 1.5/2.5
Intensity-Not really intense until Disney’s verse. It doesn’t ever really build, it feels just consistently OK. 1.5/2.5
Variety-There are enough different instruments for me. Especially with Disney’s beat. 2.5/2.5
Overall: Disney’s beat is great, fits him well and saves the score for this beat. Before that, this battle’s instrumentals are pretty forgettable. 8/10

Costumes:
Stan Lee-There’s really not much to complain about here. It’s fairly spot on from all angles. 1.5/1.5
Jim Henson-For young Henson, this is also pretty much perfect. The hair isn’t curved quite right but I can’t reasonably take off for that. 1.5/1.5
Walt Disney-They were right in the BTS, Sherwin does facially resemble Disney pretty well. Something keeps him from looking exactly like him, but I can’t pinpoint what it is so I can’t really fairly take off for it. 1.5/1.5
Extras: Kermit and the artists are fine, can’t complain. .5/.5

Impressions:
Stan Lee-It’s good, it’s just not exact, there are noticeable differences. The accent is fine, it’s just than Stan Lee’s voice is a bit more...growly? Just listen to them in sequence, you’ll see what I’m talking about. 1/1.5
Jim Henson-Reminds me a lot of Peter’s Bill Nye voice. He has the voice mannerisms right, it’s just a little bit exaggerated. I’m not going to be too hard on it though because I actually like this voice more than Jim Henson’s actual voice. 1/1.5
Kermit the Frog-Just because I need something to make this category a clean 5 points. This was definitely close enough for me to not take off points. .5/.5
Walt Disney-I can’t get any audio of Walt Disney yelling, so I don’t know what he’d sound like yelling, but it could’ve been this. Either way, I’m not taking off points because it seems like Disney in this battle overall is meant to be a personification of the company and not the actual person. 1.5/1.5

Stan Lee-Round 1:
Greetings, heroes! Stan Lee's here to battle!
It's the mind behind The Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles!
These are just references without real jokes. Aside from saying Jim Henson is “beneath” the Fraggles, which isn’t much.
I'm just your friendly neighborhood writer man with a secret identity of a super MC
This is pretty clever, and the visuals make it even better.
Whose raps are as dark as my shades; leave you squealing like "MEMEMEMEME!"
Two kind of simple but effective jokes.
You're in trouble now, Jimmy, you dirty old hippie!
Funny, not really at all clever though.
Your beard needs a little bit of snikt, damn skippy!
Again, visuals really help this joke out. The “damn skippy” part however seems like a stretch for a rhyme.
Heck, that face on your neck ain't sexy!
You're one part Sweetums, the other part Skeksis!
Pretty funny references.
Step up to Lee and you get your butt kicked!
Filler.
Your muppet Snuffleupagus stuff is bupkis!
The actual point of the line is kind of confusing, but the flow is really well written.
I broke Ferrigno and the Comics Code,
I really like the double meaning of “broke” here.
So keep your frog and pig show moving right along down the road!
Some pretty good subtle references in this.
Overall: Got some filler, and not every joke really hits, but there’s still a lot of good here. 9/10

Jim Henson-Round 1:
I’m glad you got that out. (That anger can clutter your mind.)
Just now got this by reading a reference guide. This is actually pretty clever, especially having it come out of Kermit’s mouth. My only problem is that it’s not really an insult or anything.
But you’re a creative man, Stanley (yeah), so let’s just leave it behind
‘Cause I can sense your tension, once the verbal fencing starts commencing,
There is no defense against the dents Jim Henson is dispensing
Very well done, and sound great with the soothing Henson voice.
And I’m clenching all your strings like you’re a puppet in suspension.
Pretty darn obvious, definitely not bad though.
Call your superhero friends in (Yeah, ‘cause you’re gonna need Avenging.)
Good line, my only problem is that it got me excited the Avengers were gonna show up :( no but i get why they did that and this is a good line
Let me mention, I’m impressed by all the vision that it took
For you to sign your name (on all of Jack Kirby’s comic books.)
Brutal.
Overall: Pretty strong lyrically, but some of the lines seem to just be there to build personality and aren’t super clever. 8.5/10

Stan Lee-Round 2:
Nice try, frogman, but Jack was a friend of mine! (THWIP!)
Cool references make a good line out of what should’ve been a pretty basic set up line.
That was a low blow, he did his own Thing, and now you’ve made it clobbering time!
Nice pun, surprised I wasn’t expecting something like it.
Oh, you taught children to count and spell,
Then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife harder than you flopped on SNL!
(Probably the most brutal line of the battle.)
I’m telling you, Henson! You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, I’m a Marvel of a party pooper!
Good references, not great or anything.
I’ll snap your turtleneck like a Doozer stick, and put you out to pasture like Mr. Hooper!
Even better references.
And I’m not going to review anything else from the next two verses because it doesn’t seem right to judge it on the same scale as the rest of the battle. They’re not supposed to be clever, they’re just supposed to be a tribute. So anyway, for Stan’s second verse before the tribute:
Overall: Near perfect, actually. Just a few little tweaks and this could’ve been a 10. 9.5/10

Walt Disney:
(M-I-C) I rock the mic properly!
(K-E-Y) Turning profits, I’ve got the key!
This is a pretty perfect way to introduce Disney.
I’m the Juggernaut of stacking knots unstoppably!
Clever reference.
The Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property!
This is an awesome pun.
So get back to work! That’s my dime you’re wasting!
I didn’t buy you for billions so you could play around debating!
Not super clever, but really funny, and creates this wonderful personality of Disney as this stereotypical douchey boss.
You belong to Disney, which means you stay busy!
Filler.
Cranking out magic and assembly line whimsey!
Again, not most clever, but I like how eerie this line is.
Artists begging me to stop; I won’t let ‘em!
Delivery is awesome. Line itself isn’t great, but I can’t get mad at it because it sets up the next line well.
Labor conditions in my shop? I don’t sweat ‘em!
Can’t believe I’ve never heard this pun before. It’s awesome.
I’m powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic!
Pretty clever.
With only 3 circles, I dominate the planet!
Fact statey.
Clearly, there’s nobody near me!
Really filler.
I’m owning this battle! In fact, I own this whole series!
Awesome fourth wall break.
So hop on my Steamboat, boys, but don’t rock it!
Probably the best Steamboat Willie reference you could make with this Disney character.
I’ll put a smile on your face, and green in your pocket!
Decent references.
You’ll be safe and insured, when you’re under my employ!
Now, look at it! Gaze upon my empire of joy!
Not a super strong finish, although it works with the visuals.
Overall: It’s close between a 9 and a 9.5. I’d probably just say screw it and give a 9.25 normally, but I need a winner, so I’ll be generous. Just lots of funny lines and nice references in this verse, even if this isn’t the Disney most of us were hoping for. 9.5/10

Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-Henson vs. Lee is a good idea, and Disney was a nice touch. I just have a few problems with the idea. The first being that Disney is kind of wasted here. He himself was a fascinating guy with lots of pros and cons to use against him, and making him into a personification of his company seems wrong. Second, while it’s close, I don’t think this is finale worthy in its whole. People want big for finales, and this isn’t much bigger than say Obama vs. Romney. Maybe if they’d never done a 3rd party before this would be fitting (Jobs vs. Gates was a perfect storm ender just because of how different it was for ERB at the time). It’s almost ERB worthy, but it’s not quite there for me, and would’ve probably done better in the middle of the storm (then with East vs. West as finale).
Presentation-This battle is awesome visually. Stan Lee and Disney both have some awesome effects. Henson doesn’t have too many cool effects, but Kermit is awesome and really well done. And the tribute part is pretty touching and genuine for ERB.

Overall: This is a great battle and a great video. Maybe not finale-worthy, and I’m personally kind of meh on the beat, but the lyrics are pretty much as good as ERB’s ever done. I could tell ERB really does care about these characters (well maybe not Disney) and that they put a lot of themselves into this battle. 8.5/10

Stan Lee’s Worst Line: Step up to Lee and you get your butt kicked.
Stan Lee’s Best Line: (Oh, you taught children to count and spell!) Then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife harder than you flopped on SNL!
Jim Henson’s Worst Line: But you’re a creative man, Stanley (yeah), so let’s just leave it behind.
Jim Henson’s Best Line: (Let me mention, I’m impressed by all the vision that it took) For you to sign your name (on all of Jack Kirby’s comic books.)
Walt Disney’s Worst Line: Clearly, there’s nobody near me!
Walt Disney’s Best Line: The Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property!

Final Results:
Stan Lee: 18.5/20
Jim Henson: 8.5/20 (equivalent to 17/20)
Walt Disney: 9.5/10 (equivalent to 19/20)

Total Score: 62/70

I was requested to do a Princess Rap Battle. I chose Mrs. Claus vs. Mary Poppins since it seemed like the one I wouldn't need to look up many references for.

Spoiler: 

Beat:
Relevance-It doesn’t fit either of them in a noticeable way with its instruments. It’s not extremely unfitting either though. 1/2.5
Catchiness-The main thing this beat has going for it. It’s not the catchiest beat I’ve ever heard, but it’s catchy enough. 2.5/2.5
Intensity-It’s not a boring beat, it just doesn’t get me very hyped. 1.5/2.5
Variety-There’s a bit more variety at the end, but for almost the entire first half it’s a constant loop that gets tired pretty quick. 1.5/2.5
Overall: Maybe the latest ERB beats have spoiled me, but this beat is pretty forgettable. Weaker than most of the ERB beats. 6.5/10

Costumes:
Mary Poppins-It’s practically perfect. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAno but really it looks fine 1.25/1.25
Mrs. Claus-Nothing really to complain about. 1.25/1.25
Bert-The guy doesn’t really resemble Dick Van Dyke facially. Clothes are all fine though. 1/1.25
Santa Claus-yeah 1.25/1.25
Impressions:
Mary Poppins-Frankly, the highlight of this battle. This is a spot on impression, especially the singing, which is REALLY impressive. 1.25/1.25
Mrs. Claus- :wat: 1.25/1.25
Bert-Not quite spot on, something’s wrong about it. Maybe the pitch or something, whatever it is it’s not a big deal. 1/1.25
Santa Claus- :wat: 1.25/1.25

Mary Poppins-Round 1:
When there’s a looming battle to be faced and fought, the lesson is: get right to it
The only real reference is the “lesson” part, which isn’t much.
Practically perfect people prefer to be polite, but sometimes you just have to say “screw it”
The alliteration works well, and this line is pretty funny.
You never get applause, you’re the dependent Claus
Never get applause is filler. “Dependent claus” is really clever.
You’re known for wrapping toys but my rapping skill destroys
I’ve heard this pun before.
I’m money in the Banks so show some respect
Decent pun.
If you tear me up like paper then I’ll resurrect
Nothing too special.
And I suspect you should check your cholesterol twice
Hey, fat cat, how are you at catching mice?
Generic fat jokes.
You’re like a piecrust, so easily smashed
Are piecrusts really easy to smash? Break, yeah, but smash I don’t know.
I’ll feed the birds what’s left of you once you’ve been trashed
Great reference.
I hear it’s been years since the North Pole got rigid
Today’s forecast says you’re entirely frigid
Not bad.
Score: 9/10

Mrs. Claus-Round 1:
Don’t go there, honey, the word around town
Is just a spoonful of sugar gets you to go down
Probably the best spoonful of sugar joke you could make.
The parrot on your parasol does nothing but protest (Hey!)
Basic insult.
You’re a stuck-up servant, ho-ho-horribly dressed
Not the best ho-ho-ho joke you could make.
The biggest charity since ever, we help the masses
With you a couple kids get splinters in their asses (Cheeky!)
Not really any references.
Your rhymes are weak - you’re a low stakes player
Filler.
Come at me, freak - I’ll one-horse open slay ya
Decent pun.
I’m behind the scenes, but that doesn’t mean I’m dumb
I run the workshop, keep the books, and advise my sugar plum
No jokes.
I’m a baker, all about these rolls, a big broad bruiser
Even your reflection thinks you’re a loser
I get that this is a reference to the scene in the movie with her reflection, but this seems like the most simple reflection joke to make.
Score: 7/10

Mary Poppins and Bert-Rest of the Battle:
Extemporized before your very eyes
Love to laugh at jolly guys I despise
I likes what I raps and I raps what I likes
‘cause damn right Van Dyke rocks these mics
Very impressive flow, but there’s not too many more references in these lines. Feels very Shakespeare-esque in that way.
You’re an icon of greed that’s perverted the season
You give coal to bad kids, Mary teaches ‘em reason, she’s
No jokes, just references.
Mary: Super classy, swagolistic, extremely ferocious
Mary & Bert: Super classy, swagolistic, extremely ferocious
Pretty good spin on Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Mary: I could do this whole verse backwards, but I truly feel
Good set up.
I’m through wasting my time, because you’re not even real
Lame payoff. There are much better “not real” jokes to make.

Mary: Please don’t act like you’re some kind of saint, Nick
Good set up.
Bert: Always spying on minors Mary & Bert: That’s jailbait, prick
ERB got to this joke first.

Mary: That’s quite enough of that, the winds have changed here
Let’s see how well you fly without your reindeer
Cool finisher/comparison.
Score: 7.5/10

Mrs. Claus and Santa-Rest of the Battle:
Fool, I’m real, and I’m spectacular
Not a great comeback.
This Dick can’t stick to an accent or vernacular
Funny, although there could’ve been better accent jokes.
Mrs. Claus: Your ugly carpet bag might impress a dunce
Santa: But my sack holds billions of presents at once
Kinda funny, feels a bit try-hardy.
The whole world counts down to December twenty-fourth
Winter is coming, I’m the “King in the North”
This is a cool reference.
Mrs. Claus: Drinking one Coke a year has made us rich
Not really a joke.
Santa: My list’s never wrong: it says you’re a bitch
A bit obvious, still pretty funny.

Mrs. Claus: This boring British wench needs a long winter’s nap
Pretty good threat.
Santa: You’ve been a naughty girl, shut up and sit on my lap
Again, funny, just not too clever.
Score: 8/10

Ungraded Stuff:
Idea-I’m not really into this match-up. Characters are all fine, and the thing with the chimneys is clever, but Mrs. Claus vs. Mary Poppins is a weird and random match-up, and the chimneys thing isn’t quite a strong enough connection for it.
Presentation-The effects for this are really good and pretty faithful to the original Mary Poppins movie. My only real problem is that the colors for this battle are kind of dull, which doesn’t really fit either of these characters well.

Overall: It’s great for a fanmade. Lyrics are kind of slow at parts, but there are some good zingers in here too. The main thing they get right that a lot of fanmades don’t is doing the characters justice. Well, maybe there’s not too much justice you can do Santa and Mrs. Claus, but you can tell they really wanted to please Mary Poppins fans, and I think they probably did that well. 8/10

Mary Poppins’ Worst Line: If you tear me up like paper then I’ll resurrect
Mary Poppins’ Best Line: You never get applause, you’re the dependent Claus
Mrs. Claus’ Worst Line: Your rhymes are weak - you’re a low stakes player
Mrs. Claus’ Best Line: (Don’t go there, honey, the word around town) Is just a spoonful of sugar gets you to go down
Bert’s Worst Line: You’re an icon of greed that’s perverted the season
Bert’s Best Line: I guess just his whole fast rap
Santa Claus’ Worst Line: Fool, I’m real, and I’m spectacular
Santa Claus’ Best Line: Winter is coming, I’m the “King in the North”

Final Results:
Mary Poppins and Bert: 16.5/20
Mrs. Claus and Santa Claus: 15.5/20

Total Score: 55.5/70

Thank you very much for answering my request. :D

If you haven't seen any other Princess Rap Battle I suggest you do, they're pretty good (and getting better, I think the last two are way better than the first three). And I'd love it if you could review the rest of them, of course. xD

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Log

Sam, I want a LINE BY LINE review of Shaka Zulu vs The Beatles =P

---

Spoiler: 

Shaka Zulu:
Yo, I’m black but I’m not a bird
Reference, but not a boast or dis.
So you can all eat a bull turd
Generic.
My name translates to Intestinal Beetle Heaven
Fact statey.
Your name translates to nothing because it’s not a fucking word… Evan?
Feels like a desperate attempt at a line.
We didn’t have cars in South Africa then but I’ll crash into you with my COOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Slightly more clever than the rest of these lines.
When I fuck all your moms I’m like WOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Generic.
I spit poison like, literally
Obvious.
You spit love songs like, literally
Fact statey.
I’ll give you a club song, like, y’know, literally
Not a boast or dis.
and then your face will be bashed in and you’ll be ded, like, literally
Generic threat.
If my dick was yellow they’d call it a yellow submarine
Not a boast or a dis.
And I’d shoot Mean Mr. Mustards straight out of my peen
Also not a boast or a dis.
Imagine all the people
That could be sucking my dick right now, weeple
Also not a boast or a dis.
Zulu Warriors will KILL YOU
Generic threat.
Because that’s what they DO
Completley nnecessary.
Ringo, why don’t you Rin-go away
Slightly more clever than most of these lines.
Because you are probably GAY
Bad.
Paul, stop bang banging judges I say
Could make for a decent line if worded right.
The hammer’s no excuse that’s very GAY
Bad reference.
I’ll put my foot out and TRIP you in the middle of the DAY
The “in the middle of the day” part sounds dumb.
John, try not to beat me to near death, but you’re probably GAY
Generic insult.
George, I don’t mean to be rude, but there’s Something in the way
Not a boast or a dis.
You act that makes me think that you may be GAY
Generic.
You made a White Album. Why? BECAUSE YOU’RE PASTY ASS WHITE BOYS
Also could’ve made for a decent line but the way it’s worded sucks
You didn’t make a Black Album. Why? BECAUSE YOU’RE PASTY ASS WHITE BOYS!
This one is just bad.
Do you know how many times my half-bros tried to kill me? Like, 12
Feels like a self-dis.
What rhymes with 12
Sounds lazy.
I don’t English very much
Also feels like a self-dis.
I don’t like the Dutch
Unrelated to the battle.
I’ll charge chest first at you and smack you with my horns at the side
Not terrible, but these references could’ve made for way better jokes.
And then as a last resort I go for the loins, that’s not gay at all I swear
Throwing that last part at the end doesn’t help the line at all.
It’s an actual thing I do
Pointless.
Fighting with my balls
What?
I fought Sir William of Wallace once
Fact statey. Well not really fact but you know.
He kicked my ass you dunce
Why would Shaka bring this up in his verse
Why don’t we do it in the road?
Is this a sexual request?
We don’t have roads, you fuckign TOAD
Toad?
OH SHIT MY MOMMA JUST DIED
Not a boast or dis.
AND I TOTALLY CRIED
See above.
If you milk a cow I’ll KEEL YOU
Fa
If you get pregnant I’ll KEEL YOU
ct
If you grow food I’LL KEEL YOU
sta
If you aren’t sad I’LL KEEL YOU
tey
If your name is Sam I’LL KEEL YOU
I have nothing to do with these characters.
But that already applied even before my mother died
Not historically accurate.
I wrestled a bear once
I don’t think this is accurate.
Wait do they even have bears in Africa
Yeah, so why would you mention it
How do you rhyme?
Doesn’t belong in a rap battle.
I don’t exactly do it all the time
Even if you COME TOGETHER right NOW over ME
Not a terrible set up line.
I’ll just take you out to the club like my name was Clubby D
But this is not a good payoff.
Jahn Lenin getting KEELED by these raps #shotsfired
Heard this joke before.
I can’t think of anything that rhymes with fired
It’s not that hard.
If you have sex with Shaka, consider yourself FUCKED
Anyone could’ve used this line.
All Those Years Ago, you still SUCKED
Could’ve made for a better line if it was worded better.
So suck my dicktatorship
Bad pun.
Fuck that short chick Ryuujixthat blue haired chick was the best ship
Nothing to do with either of them
Ringo Wants to Be Santa Claus so that’d make him fat
Worded horribly
Paul McCartney has a song called Wonderful Christmastime and it isn’t that good
Generic insult and doesn’t rhyme
John Lennon has a song called Happy Xmas but it’s a Vietnam War thing or something
Not a real insult.
Who is George even
Way too obvious
I forgot how to rhyme, but I can still diss all of you
Self-dis.
Ya’ll are JEWS so I might as well say HEY JUDES
Not very clever wordplay.
Did I mention that I’m gonna kill YUUUUUUUUUU
Anyone could use this line.
That’s even more likely than the fact that Sam is a JEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Again, I have very little to do with these people.
My waifu is far better than your waifus
Has nothing to do with these rappers.
Especially Jahn’s, seriously why’d you let that bitch sing foo’
Not close to the best Yoko joke you could make.
Sinon’s MY Waifu so don’t touch her plz
This isn’t true.
As you can see I’m very protective of these kinds of things
Why does that matter?
And while I’m at it the ending of Highschool of the Dead sucked
That has nothing to do with these people either.
I mean, we still haven’t figured out the resolution to those two girls he fucked
^
And ugh, School Days don’t get me started
^
I could do far worse shit when I farted
^
But Steins; Gate I liked that one’s
^
But I wanted to see more of them after they found loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
^
And I know I’m supposed to rap against the Beatles
Yes, so do it.
But fucking Angel Beats really gave me the feels
Rap against the Beatles.
And fucking Dragon Ball Z I love that shit
^
Btw that new Death Battle was totes BULLSHIT
^
And how about that ending to White Album 2?
OK, now you’re at least back on focus.
It really reminded me that sam was a jew
Not a boast or a dis.
Wait there was also White Album the OG
And?
Oh wait you guys wrote that, oh shit I’m in a rap
Just changing courses in the middle of a line looks bad.
I’ll Beat-le all your asses yo
Not a very clever pun.
‘Cause I’m SHAKA ZULU mofos and I think all y’all moms are hoes
Replace Shaka Zulu with anyone’s name and anyone could use it.
There isn’t a crash into your car joke yet so I’ll crash into you with my- oh wait I already did that
Stop correcting yourself in the middle of your verse. Go back and erase if you make a mistake.
The Bull Horn can do what you African’t do WAT
Much better puns you could make with Africa than this.
Your moms are really fat I say “She’s So Heavy”
At least it’s a reference and a joke, just not a very good one.
*insert trippy guitar solo here*
Not a boast or dis.
I’ll send All My Loving to your moms
See what I said about the She’s So Heavy line.
When I’m Sixty Four I’ll still need YOUR MOMs
^
I think me going against you guys is proof that Ebony and Ivory
Set up.
Don’t actually live together in perfect harmony
Not a dis or insult.
Maybe I’m Amazed at how bad you all are
Most simple Maybe I’m Amazed joke you could make.
Why couldn’t the pirate watch the movie? It was rated ARRRRRRR
Pirates have nothing to do with this battle.
Yo Paul, the only thing you done was Yesterday
Not clever.
And since you’ve gone you’re just Another Day

All the people around have enough of Silly Love Songs, I look around me and I see it is so
Could’ve made for a much better joke.
I’ve got FourFiveSeconds to let you know that you, like, totally blow
^
You have a song named Junk because your songs are Junk BITCH
Kind of close to a good line, but really needs to be worded better.
and with that I’ll tell you you can suck my Long and Winding DICK
Why is the dick winding?
Score: 1/20

Next Few Verses:
The Beatles:
Life is very short and there’s no tiiiiiiimmmmmmmeeeeeeeee
Just a reference without a joke.
For fussing and fighting my friend
Doesn’t work well in a rap battle.

Tahm Yark:
Why won’t you quiet downnnnnnnnnn
Not a reference.
*gets lynched*

Eyesack Brick:
Well the universe is shaped exactly like the earth if you’re going straight along you’re bound to end up where you were
Not a boast or dis.
And you’ll float on or something
What exactly does this mean?
I showed your mom my ding
Not clever.
Let’s lynch sam
Stop bringing me into this

Gandhi:
Let us all stop this foolish fighting and have a massive orgy instead
Has nothing to do with any of these rappers aside from that Gandhi doesn’t like fighting.
Score: 1.5/10

A Dung Beetle:
Yo, I’m rolling in but yet it’s you guys with the bullshit
Obvious pun.
Shaka you went cray-cray just to die and let your empire fall to some dumb brits
Generic insult.
I follow the Milky Way, your head follow your mum to her fate
Dung beetles follow the milky way?
Now you’re killing farmers for going on THEIR Milky Way and other mums ‘cause they procreate
Fact statey
Yes I roll a giant ball of poo, it’s true
Could make for a good set up.
But bros, you’re not supposed to do that when you make music dudes
Describing their music making as “rolling a giant ball of poo” is kind of confusing and not really witty.
Why don’t you ask the Egyptians if a beetle’s bigger than Jesus pricks
Egyptians had their own gods.
You’re just a 60’s One Direction with 80 year old fangirls riding on your dicks
There could’ve been a clever joke maybe that did something with the “60s” and “80”, but this doesn’t do much with that.
And the rest of you guys I don’t know what to say about you
Could be used in any battle.
But if you’re anything like Sam then you probably suck and are all JEWSSSSS
I think I’ve explained multiple times in this battle while referencing me alone doesn’t work.
Score: 2/10

Overall: At least there’s a lot of references. 1.5/10

Total Score: 6/50

Wow, he actually did it.

Why Loh, why torture him like this.

6/10 is pretty good tho.

Oh.. wait.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Miru_Jaca

Could you review Whitney Avalon's Princess Rap Battles? I'd love that!

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by echo

Gunnut vs Turtle RFWF pls ty? :3

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Log

Sam, I want a LINE BY LINE review of Shaka Zulu vs The Beatles =P

---

You uh... skipped one..

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Saiya

You uh... skipped one..

---

My bad, I'll get to that one next.

This one first though since I basically finished it yesterday anyway:

Spoiler: 

Lohuydahutt-Round 1:
Skarmory meet Gonad, flinch at the sight of that hoe
The Skarmory reference is good. The hoe at the end feels kind of rhyme-stretchy.
Who thinks he has a ghost of a chance against Loh
Good.
But when I step on the mic, I get nerf hammered
Lest I cut deep like the Dustman speech and leave blood on the banner
References are good and I get what it’s trying to say. It just doesn’t seem too threatening when you say in a rap battle “I’m holding back”.
Send you back to Wash. with a side note from Lohuy
Good set up.
Stop dancing me or you'll (probably) die
Funny, goes well with the original line.
Fly over to the east coast we'll shove your face straight up your butt
Aside from that being a very weird mental image, good.
Screwed over by more than just the gun laws in Connecticut!
Nice, parodies the original well.
Score: 9/10

Gonad the Nomad-Round 1:
You talk a lot of shit for an animal who isn't house trained
Parodies the original line well, not so great on its own.
I heard you won Death Battle, but the Deadliest Forumer will leave you slain
Could’ve been a better deadliest forumer line, although this one definitely isn’t bad.
Cause all I hear is bad rhymes from a blooper moderator with no dank memes
The blooper mod thing was already done before.
And I'll thrive in the midst of the sounds of your screams
Not a specific enough reference.
You should go hide up in your moderator tower
Good.
You're fucking with the most straightest face of the ERBoH forumers
The straight face works as a boast sometimes, but in this context it doesn’t make you seem very threatening.
I'm the last fateful to Russia and last of the Yami Kage bruhs
Good parody of the original.
****sticking you accompanied by my comrades and sukas
Works OK with the Russia reference.
Ask the memebros if my running jokes are simple cheap padder
It’d work if Manch and Wumb taught that your memes were good, but since they don’t it’s kind of confusing.
Rip your good potential forum gags like they were Larry Flatter
This is an awesome reference.
So don't go dropping your banhammer on me
If I wanted to read infractions, I'd look at my forum history
Feels like a self-dis.
Score: 7.5/10

Lohuydahutt-Round 2:
Oh I know all about that tell me what did you get?
Oh right, got negrepped back to Agartha after you left
Good reference.
So watcha gonna do with your banned ****stick?
When I go YN-mode and break this dick?
Could kinda be used by anyone against anymore.
By Lohuy, D. Hutt with real #shotsfired
Decent.
Hammering down any suka even after I'm retired
Wordings a bit weird, but I get the joke.
I got the strength of dankey kang and the speed of SANIC YO
Good parody of the original line.
And we all know you're just a sucky lech bro
Again, could kind of be used against anyone.
Score: 8.5/10

Gonad the Nomad-Round 2:
Ooh can I be a dolphin? Cause I'll ****stick your ass
Not bad, actually taught me something.
I made a more Dankey thing by creating Wyatt Glas
This is a pretty good pun. I don’t know if I would’ve thought of this one.
First my swag line will be dropped and make you jelly of it
Then I'll go in for the kill, you can't diss dudes without wit
Pretty funny parodies of the original line.
Let your moderators come at me, my Bust-a-Nut's at the (Wyatt Hertz: Ready!)
When I get (Banned!) I take all in range with me
Not bad.
But there's no use in killing you and your brethren
You can all go in the suka lair when you're beaten
Kind of obvious.
Score: 9/10

Overall: One of the better REWFs I’ve read. References are pretty funny, only problem is some of the jokes are a bit done before and some of the points of the lines are a bit confusing. But good job overall. I liked both sides. 8/10

Lohuydahutt’s Worst Line: Oh I know all about that tell me what did you get?
Lohuydahutt’s Best Line: Screwed over by more than just the gun laws in Connecticut!
Gonad the Nomad’s Worst Line: If I wanted to read infractions, I'd look at my forum history
Gonad the Nomad’s Best Line: Rip your good potential forum gags like they were Larry Flatter

Final Results:
Lohuydahutt: 17.5/20
Gonad the Nomad: 16.5/20

Total Score: 42/50

Just as a note: I was thinking of "holding back" in the same sense Superman does, but I can get why it's iffy

I'm glad you got the Larry Flatter reference.

EDIT: Did I ever ask for a review of the Terminator/Robocop Me vs Turtle? If not, pls do.

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...008#post409008

Hi. Umm.. Sorry for being rude, Mr. Sammy, but can you review my Cogsworth vs the Chairman battle? And if you do accept my charges, could you get it done soon? You can find it on my "Epic Rap Battles of Bigkidrant3" forum in the "FanMade Battles" section.

From,
Bigkidrant3, or you can just call me your old friend Timmy Turner ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bigkidrant3

Hi. Umm.. Sorry for being rude, Mr. Sammy, but can you review my Cogsworth vs the Chairman battle? And if you do accept my charges, could you get it done soon? You can find it on my "Epic Rap Battles of Bigkidrant3" forum in the "FanMade Battles" section.

From,
Bigkidrant3, or you can just call me your old friend Timmy Turner ;)

---

I don't know if you've noticed, but he does these in order. This is the 3rd time you've suggested this, so please just wait until he gets to you xP

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Poles

I don't know if you've noticed, but he does these in order. This is the 3rd time you've suggested this, so please just wait until he gets to you xP

---

I know. But, do you have any idea on when he'll review me?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bigkidrant3

I know. But, do you have any idea on when he'll review me?

---

It'll either be the next one or the one after it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bigkidrant3

I know. But, do you have any idea on when he'll review me?

---

I'll put the list back up for convenience.

Hey Sam, can you review my Roy vs. Roy battle please?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Saiya

Gunnut vs Turtle RFWF pls ty? :3

---

Spoiler: 

Turtle-Round 1:
DILDOS! I'm Batman! This battles gonna get saucy
References without any jokes.
I'll jam your gun with a dildo with my whole phallic posse
It’s a reference and a joke, so I’ll take it.
Gonad, I'm sorry to have to break this to you
Feels filler
But guess what in Romania? DILDO FUCK YOU!
Funny, but not brilliant or anything.
Hail Dildnose for this chance to crush this little duck
Could’ve been a better Dildnose joke.
People suck dildos for pleasure, but you just suck!
Pretty obvious joke.
You pretend to be Sam, that's not cool at all
Reference without a joke.
Especially for you since you're practically bald
Could’ve been a better joke about this too.
I'm the greatest dildo lover, so voice my dildo please
Not really a dis or insult.
I'd eat you like a dildo - WITH PARMESAN CHEESE!!!11!1
I mean, I did find it funny, but it’s definitely not super brilliant
Score: 6/10

Gunnut-Round 1:
The deadlist forumers here to deny your face of mercy,
Pretty decent pun.
Been a victim of this place for years, you think your raps can hurt me?
Eh, not too specific a reference.
You're a terrible joke, Turtle. For you there's no redemption,
Mostly references without joke.
Just a lowly, lonely, internet troll with a massive roleplay obsession!
Not the most creative roleplay joke.
You won an award as the biggest newb, yet you sucked too much to get it,
Maybe there could’ve been a slightly better joke about this but it’s referenced and put in really harsh terms, so it’s a good line.
I'll tell you why you're losing, Turts, you flat out lack the wit, kid.
Could’ve gotten more creative with the “wit” line.
Me, lose to this sex toy obsessed reptile? Well I'll be damned.
Feels a bit filler
When I'm finished with you, suka, you'll wish you were still banned.
Decent.
Score: 7.5/10

Turtle-Round 2:
In this Battle Royale, you'll come dead last
Pretty obvious joke.
Here's an RP *sticks dildo up your ass*
This is funny.
Call this a battle? Your verse was unbearable
Feels filler
Voice act so bad your raps aren't the only thing terrible
Not too creative.
I've been loved on this forum ever since I joined
You had to pose as a Jew just to get some rep coins!
Good one.
Score: 7/10

Gunnut-Round 2:
Loved by the forum? Ha, they all think you're an ass,
Generic insult.
They'll say "Turtle who?" when you get stomped by doulgas
Could've been a better doulgas joke.
You call yourself Batman but to me, you're just a joker,
Good.
You should hide in your shell, suka, this battles over.
Starts off good, ends without any reference.
I'm not speaking French, but I'm rappin' like Clemi 'cause I'm sick sick
A bit done before but still good.
And like the dildoes that you love, you're nothin' but a fake dick!
Nice pun.
Score: 8.5/10

Overall: There are some parts with great impressions and some parts with great lines, but they don’t come together too often in this battle. Aside from that, there are a few jokes that are kind of done before, and some references are kind of wasted. Still got some goodies though. (I was told you didn't really try on your verses KitN but I just reviewed it by normal standards for heck of it) 7.5/10

Turtle’s Worst Line: Call this a battle? Your verse was unbearable
Turtle’s Best Line: Here's an RP *sticks dildo up your ass*
Gunnut’s Worst Line: Me, lose to this sex toy obsessed reptile? Well I'll be damned.
Gunnut’s Best Line: And like the dildoes that you love, you're nothin' but a fake dick!

Final Results:
Turtle: 13/20
Gunnut: 16/20

Total Score: 37/50

I can win as someone else or someone else can win as me, but never do I win as me.

fml

Just think what I could have done if I were to actually train try!

Good review

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Big Sam

I don’t like the Dutch
Unrelated to the battle.

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I like to think of it as a reference to Apartheid. The Afrikaaners, who started the system of Apartheid in South Africa to favour the whites, were the descendants of Dutch colonialists who migrated to the Cape of Good Hope and set up the Dutch Cape Colony. The Afrikaaners thought themselves superior to the blacks of South Africa - the Zulus being among the most well-known South African ethnic groups. Shaka is saying he doesn't like the Dutch because they oppressed his people.

Rebiew my Smallpox vs HIV rap battle plz? :3

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bigkidrant3

Can you review my Cogsworth vs The Chairman battle? (You can find it in UberMench/Mancha/Bill Cipher/GLaDOS' Chizzling Guide)

---

Spoiler: 

The Chairman-Round 1:
I’m the Chairman of the Board, and this battle won’t be pretty!
Filler.
I’ll move and shake around this furniture item from your little Paris city!
Decent reference mixing.
Truth comes to truth, you’re just an antique piece of shit.
Something sold at a flea market for fairy tale creations!
My name strikes fear into the hearts of Toons throughout the nation,
Pretty generic insults/boasts.
while your name wouldn’t even be known if it weren’t for Disney-fication.
A strong point, but there could’ve been a more clever line about this.
And when you’re all old and decayed, all the townspeople will move on!
Since you’ll never find a girl to turn your bejeweled cogs Gast-on!
Kind of a forced pun, but it works.
Score: 6.5/10

Cogsworth-Round 1:
If I had a penny for every cog I’ve seen in your game,
I’d be richer than the CFO, and I’d put the Robber Barons to shame!
I like these references.
You’re a rusty piece of metal, an old hunk of fuck!
Generic insult.
Activated only because of the screw-ups of Scrooge McDuck!
Kinda fact statey.
I don’t mean to get your Gyro Gears-loose, but I’m going to defeat you!
Nice pun.
I guess with my lyrical flow, I’m Toon much for you!
This pun’s alright, just feels a little forced.
You’re all work and no play, but when you play, you explode!
Not really an insults.
You’re not the big-wig of my house, you’re just an ugly bridge troll!
OK reference.
Score: 8/10

The Chairman-Round 2:
Say that one more time, and I’ll remove your whiskers out.
”Remove your whiskers out” is weird wording.
I’ll evict you and restrain you from your little House of Mouse.
Funny reference.
When it comes to bringing the apocalypse, I’m a full-blown prophet!
Not much of a joke.
So admit your failure, Cogsworth and come out of the closet!
Pretty basic insult.11111
Score: 7/10

Lumiere-Round 2:
You following me, businessman? ‘Cuz this about to get furious!
Filler.
You’re gonna be my guest until your circuitry goes delirious!
This joke doesn’t really have much to do with “be my guest”.
Your spooky scary Skelecogs are all just in a factory line.
Fact statey.
I’ll rip through place to place, but you will never get the punchline!
Don’t really get it.
You try to invade districts of a town? You claim to own a throne?
You’re not even worthy of my presence! Put Luke Ross on the phone!
Funny, but kind of a random reference.
I’ll hang up on you, swish and swash you like a lyrical invader!
You’re the wannabe Terminator, huh? I’m the bot exterminator!
Decent pun.
Score: 7/10

Overall: There’s some unnecessary filler in here, you want to keep that at a real minimum. There aren’t really a lot of bad lines, but there aren’t too many zingers either. The goal should be to make as many lines as possible “oooh” lines. 7/10

The Chairman’s Worst Line: I’m the Chairman of the Board, and this battle won’t be pretty!
The Chairman’s Best Line: I’ll move and shake around this furniture item from your little Paris city!
Cogsworth’s Worst Line: You’re a rusty piece of metal, an old hunk of fuck!
Cogsworth’s Best Line: (If I had a penny for every cog I’ve seen in your game,) I’d be richer than the CFO, and I’d put the Robber Barons to shame!
Lumiere’s Worst Line: You following me, businessman? ‘Cuz this about to get furious!
Lumiere’s Best Line: You’re the wannabe Terminator, huh? I’m the bot exterminator!

Final Results:
The Chairman: 13.5/20
Cogsworth: 8/10=16/20
Lumiere: 7/10=14/20

Total Score: 35.5/50

Review my Freddy Fazbear VS Chuck E Cheese rap battle: http://www.rappad.co/rap/170577

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mooncat

Can you review my Prof. X vs Sigmund Freud battle?

http://www.erboh.com/forum/showthrea...l=1#post410284

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Spoiler: 

Professor X-Round 1:
You're a literal motherfucker! A Jewish Oedipus Rex
Fun reference, not the most clever motherfucker joke that could be made.
Professor X will wreck this spec with a Doofenschmirtz Complex!
This reference seems a bit random.
Cocksucker! And no, that's not a Freudian slip
Nice one.
I'll show this redshirt here a new view from my spaceship
Wording is a little confusing.
This must be your First Class, let me give you some schooling
Good reference.
I can see into your mind, who do you think you're fooling?
Not too specific a reference, but it works pretty well.
Spitting straight adamantium like the rims on my chair
Pretty good, “spitting adamantium” is a bit confusing though.
You spit only cancerous cells like you're living on a prayer!
Good.
Siggie's snorting coke, he's got the smokes and is sure to die Jung
Decent pun.
But I'm causing more damage than that shit did to your lungs!
Nice and personal.
I battle planet sized monstrosities, bitch, I don't play around
Training mutants to defend the earth all while sittin down!
These last 2 lines are a bit fact statey.
Score: 8.5/10

Sigmund Freud-Round 1:
You know I've alvays vondered zis about zee famed Professor X
VHY DON'T YOU USE TELEKINESIS TO MOVE YOUR FUCKING LEGS?!
Yes (I might’ve heard this one before but I don’t care)
Tell your team of misfits I sense something wrong in your Cerebro
This seems like a set up line that doesn’t set anything up.
My raps paralyse you so hard, you can call me Magneto!
Decent, not the greatest Magneto joke you could make though.
It's not good for your health, Charlie, to stay cooped up in your mansion
Instead you should organise a date viz a mutant Chris Hansen
Kind of random reference.
Bitch I created a whole field of science to understand zee human mind
You set up your school to teach stroppy ass teenagers how to fly!
This isn’t really an insult.
Branding everything viz an 'X' as zough you own zat letter
And zis whole superhero schtick? Zee Incredibles did it better
These are both pretty simple insults
In a few years nerds vill move on, vhereas my vork is timeless
Not much of a joke
Zis vould be your last stand, if you veren't already spineless
This is a good one.
Score: 7/10

Professor X-Round 2:
Your work timeless? After your death it was all rebuked!
Good, but not much of a joke.
And me spineless? You ran from Hitler, you cowardly Jew
I mean, it seems unreasonable to call him spineless for that, but it is funny’
You look like a fat George Carlin! I'll get Logan to finger your anus!
Not brilliance, but funny.
Your theories aren't just moronic - they're downright heinous!
Feels kind of filler.
Even Dr Phil could do a better job than this kraut
Probably could’ve been a better Dr. Phil joke.
Imma diagnose you with get-the-fuck-out!
Amusing.
Score: 8/10

Sigmund Freud-Round 2:
Screw you, you big bald cunt! Your raps skills are shoddy
Generic, but kinda funny.
I'll kick your chair down zee stairs zen laugh at your mangled body!
Doesn’t seem like too much of a reference.
You're creepier zan Nightcrawler, more sort-sighted zan Cyclops
My rhymes bring so much pain you'll crave morphine drops
These are good references.
Now call me zee ICP, but I need to mention zis circlejerk
Ask your arch nemesis - HOW DO FUCKING MAGNETS VORK?!
Not too much of a dis or insult, but really funny reference.
Score: 8/10

Overall: Strong battle, especially in the comedic aspect. You referenced some pretty perfect things to reference. The jokes about said references are usually hit, but they sometimes don’t really feel like jokes, and some of them just don’t work, which I guess there’s not too much you can do about. 8/10

Professor X’s Worst Line: Your theories aren't just moronic - they're downright heinous!
Professor X’s Best Line: This must be your First Class, let me give you some schooling
Sigmund Freud’s Worst Line: In a few years nerds vill move on, vhereas my vork is timeless
Sigmund Freud’s Best Line: Zis vould be your last stand, if you veren't already spineless

Final Results:
Professor X: 16.5/20
Sigmund Freud: 15/20

Total Score: 39.5/50

Holy shit that flow doe.

Also how is spitting adamantium confusing.

Other than the part where adamantium is liquid exactly once before it cools, and it steaming hot before that.