...

You know I want to rant, I want to scream, I want to let it all out. But I can't for so many reasons. I can't show how I feel, I can't fucking come out and say that I'm losing...I can't admit that the place that I used to look to for support and advice, help and friendship is now a place I dread going.

I can't admit I'm killing myself, I can't say that things aren't going to be okay.


I'm happy...but at the same time I can't admit I'm not. I'm losing it, but at the same time someone makes it all make sense. Part of me is confused constantly because I can't admit that things are so good but they are also a little bad. IT MAKES NO SENSE AND I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT ALONE, but nobody will take the time to notice and try to help me figure it out. Everybody has there own problems and mine are menial in comparison so I can't bring myself to admit that every single day I struggle.

And that only one person seems to make it all better.

I can't figure it out while my mind races a hundred thousand miles a minute. And I can't figure it out when I put paper to pen. My old escapes are now just cages that blend in with the rest. My head is a prison, my brain a jail cell and my thoughts are caged. I have no creativity, I've lost my will to write.

I can't escape, I don't need to, but I do.

Nate, listen to me! You will make it through this, hear me out, don't do anything drastic. Please, everything will turn out okay, you'll see. I'm here to support you, the whole forum is here to support you and if anyone is not then they can stick their finger up their ass and orgasm on their mother. Please Nate.

See the forum isn't here to support me though. I used to come here for support, for friendship I've always been an outcast and this was my home. You, Chi, Wumbo, Adonis, Spartica, YN, I had real friendships here. It sounds stupid but I did.

I don't anymore...I have Chi, and You, everyone else is gone. Everyone here hates me. I log on out of habit, out of a desire for the past, but in truth it just depresses me to come here now. This forum is the problem. My job is the problem.

Dude, honest answer ur taking ur life abit serious over the forum.. i know i sound like a dick and all but maybe go out side get some air.. then u will come to ur self, after all this is only a forum

Nate, you're like family to me. This entire forum is the closest thing I have to a family. You think my real life family cares about their deranged teenage son on medication? No, they don't, they barely know I exist. Your pain is my pain, Nate, this place is the closest thing I have to a home. This is tearing me apart, really.

@Zero: Its more than just the forum thats messing with me but, I have real friendships here...well had real friendships here...


@Thantaos: Your real close to me, I consider you a friend and you've always been hugely supportive. Your like a little brother to me, who used to be married to me ;p I appreciate everything you've done for me you're amazing don't stop being amazing.

I don't know you but I feel for you.
Take a deep breath, there are a lot of new people here, but I doubt they hate you ;)
I am always open for new friendships and someone to talk to.
Don't feel so blue. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Noone

@Zero: Its more than just the forum thats messing with me but, I have real friendships here...well had real friendships here...

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I Get u where it comes to friendships, and all but sometimes u have to realize, ur on the internet, and come to reality you can't be peter pan all ur life bud,

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Noone

@Thantaos: Your real close to me, I consider you a friend and you've always been hugely supportive. Your like a little brother to me, who used to be married to me ;p I appreciate everything you've done for me you're amazing don't stop being amazing.

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Haha man, you too. Just like the good ol' days huh, when we were starting a rebellion that overthrow Rob's regime and all. :laugh:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Faena

I don't know you but I feel for you.
Take a deep breath, there are a lot of new people here, but I doubt they hate you ;)
I am always open for new friendships and someone to talk to.
Don't feel so blue. :)

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This sums up my thoughts, essentially as well.