Epic Rap Battles of Richard

[Richard]

METAPOD VS. KAKUNA! BEGIN!
Metapod
Metapod. Better than the rest.
Metapod. Just admit it, I'm the best.
I was the first one of use to be used by Ash.
Now we've been let go. So I can use raps to my advantage to bash.
You're a little spikey worm.
I'm from the real animal that can change it's form.
You've got little spikes that can't be sharpened.
I was battling your mom last night, using harden.
Kakuna
I'm about to Beedrilling you out with my rhymes as hard as my shell.
You can't defeat me, don't even try, Trancell.
I evolve into a feared form. I believe we've met before, where was that?
I don't think it really matters. So why don't you just stop your rapping, and get that nose off your back.
[Metapod and Kakuna begin glowing white]
Announcer
What's this? Metapod and Kakuna are evolving into.....
[The glowing stops]
BUTTERFREE VS. BEEDRILL!
Butterfree
I've got toxic dust.
You're just the Pokemon blush.
I'm beating you with my water-repellent powdered wings.
You're not even good enough to be like real bees.
Beedrill
Watch your words, Butterfag.
I'll beat you anywhere, from the Pokeball, to the carrier bag.
I'm the reason the owners of your cocoon form stopped their battle. You can't beat me.
You may have toxic dust, but I got the venom sting.

[Richard]

AL CALAVICCI VS. TUPAC! BEGIN!
Tupac
No one else can see you, but you can put All Eyez On Me.
I could squash you, even without my Black Panther Party.
I'm the greatest MC of all time.
You're just a little hologram that can see Sam's failed experiment of time.
No one knows your real purpose in the Quantum Leap experiment.
My rhymes are so good that they got switched to Amaru Entertainment.
Al Calavicci
Oh, boy. Ziggy, tell me why the hell I'm here to battle this black man who's only got a two pack.
Or was it a sex pack?
Even my filthy mind can't tell what it is.
Gooshie, tell me where the damn door is so that I can kick this guy out like he's the evil quantum scientist.
I'm the entire reason Sam's still alive.
You got shot in the street by a bunch of ghetto guys.
I will admit that you're the only rapper good at being conversational.
But my rhymes are so sick, they make you need a hospital.
Tupac
I need a hospital? You're the one shot in the head....head....head....
[Mirroring the real events, Tupac falls, dead]
Announcer
Someone please come finish this battle. Someone....
Nas
I got this. Come on, Albert. I'm gonna dis you with my inconsistent output.
Almost bust out your eardrums like it was a shoot up.
I Am the way It Was Written.
You Owe Me big time, leave you smitten.
Jay-Z, Eminem, Dr. Dre.
All my allies, you just got 5 failed marriages, you gay?
Al Calavicci
If I were gay, I wouldn't have as much of a filthy mind as I do, just ask Sam.
You'll get smashed like Kamikaze Kid's car did in the bridge cram.
You're just here to replace the original opponent.
You're only hope is if you would have gotten the name of your old Nas Album.

[Richard]

PSY VS. SI! BEGIN!
PSY
Oppa Gangnam Style!
I'm beating this veteran redneck through my Korean rapping styles!
I'm a Gentleman, you're just a camo man obsessed with saying Jack.
Put off on the end of it, and it reveals what can make you break your back.
I'm enjoying battling you only because I am winning.
Give up now, Si. Go back to duck head swimming.
Si
Hey, Jack!
I'm bringing redneck rap back.
Just admit I'm better. This is now Gangnam Si-le!
There is no better way to say that I am winning, go back to your Asain Isle!
I beat you guys in a war. This is just the same.
I'm ringing in your ears, Jack, your raps are lame.
PSY
Si, you got your countries mixed up.
I'm Korean, not Vietnamese. I think you're Jack-ed up.
I'm calling all your ducks, they're leaving. Your calls aren't correctly made.
Perhaps if you weren't so busy messin around with campers and donuts you might get some fame.
Si
Look here, Jack. That camper gave me fame.
You couldn't beat me in a shooting range.
I'm thirsty, gonna drink down my ice tea.
I can't understand your song lyrics, you're wasting your time, trust me!
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Jack! This battle's done!
You're just as bitchy as all them heffers, son.

[Richard]

HATSUNE MIKU VS. WHITNEY HOUSTON! BEGIN!
Whitney Houston
I influenced black girls to follow my footsteps.
You're just a Japanese app that's worse than Dubstep.
I'm a real singer, unlike you.
Everyone knows your anime ass is fake, just look at your hair of light blue.
Hatsune Miku
I'm powered by Vocaloid 2. I'm beating you now, cause I'm the star of a Toyota commercial.
Your hair looks like it's too twirled.
Moving on to Vocaloid 3.
I'm the best, you can't beat me.
Whitney Houston
How Will I Know I'm winning? Cause it's obvious.
You're a fake singer, I'm the real singing actress.
Chibi, why are you still battling? You'll never live to tell the tale.
I'm not even Waiting to Exhale.
Hatsune Miku
Synthesizing songs since 2007.
Me never live? You died 2/11!
You're being beat by a 16-year-old.
I'm sampled from Saki, and that's just me beginning to unfold.

[Richard]

SKYDOESMINECRAFT VS. CAPTAINSPARKLEZ! BEGIN!
SkyDoesMinecraft
Screw TNT. I got budder for all.
I'm here with a copyright claim of Minecraft Style.
I'm the best. Your whole kingdom fell.
You want revenge? You couldn't even beat a squid in a well.
Captain Sparklez
Adam, why are you so against squids?
Did they do something horrible to you as a kid?
It's called gold, not budder.
All your mod showcases turned your brains to rubber.
No one knows what you look like. You hide behind a screen.
You make Tobuscus look smart, oh, and also Pewdie.
SkyDoesMinecraft
Go back to your legal consulation, Jordan.
Maybe you'll get lucky and Minecraft Style will no longer be aborted.
You never ruled the land. You're lying.
You'll get beat in this so bad I'll make you CaptainCrying.
Captain Sparklez
I shoot my arrows into the Sky, don't you know?
That would leave you the one crying, I'm surprised you want to go.
I've got the best raps from the redstone traps to the fallen kingdom.
You want to battle me? Well, all I have to say is sofa kingdom.

[Richard]

RAINBOW DASH VS. LIGHTNING MCQUEEN! BEGIN!
Lightning McQueen
Ca-chow! I AM speed. You can't compare.
I'm Lightning McQueen! Come race me at rap if you dare.
You're skills are rusty, Rainbow. Here's some Rust-eze.
I'm racing in rap round corner three.
I don't need wings to be the fastest rapper.
You got the slowest animal ever, should have gotten a trapper.
Rainbow Dash
You know, McQueen. You could use something to get yourself 20% cooler.
How about the Rainblow Dry? Even that couldn't fix you to be faster than Bueller.
I can't believe this. You look like an even more messed up version of Discord.
Get out while you can, McQueen. You're rapping on my record.
Lightning McQueen
I'm racing round the curb, round the butte.
Racing right into kicking your rainbow shoot.
I got pulled into the World Grand Prix and won.
As for you, you're just a little blue pony, hon.
Rainbow Dash
Your lightning is fake. Mine's a real one.
It got given to me through a Sonic Rainboom. I'm the only one.
No one can go faster than me. Not even the Doc.
I could run right through all of your WGP races and spin out the clock.

[Richard]

SLENDERMAN VS. ENDERMAN! BEGIN!
Slenderman
I'm a real monster. Depicted as evil.
You're nothing, Enderman. Just as silly as a weasel.
I'd suggest you go back to the End and weep yourself to death.
I'll beat you so bad, that your one-block mouth will run out of breath.
I bring fear to the woods. You're just a nuetral mob.
I'll kill you, craft a stick, and eat the Ender Pearl kabob!
Enderman
Look here, bitch.
I wanna say stuff to your face, but it doesn't exist.
I go up one block without having to jump.
You give static screens if you're not starin at kids' rumps.
I crush you, Slendy. You only give positive YouTube feedback.
Beware, Slenderman. I'm in my hostile Enderman attack.
Slenderman
I got eight pages for you to find. But you can't do it if it's raining.
You better leave while you can. I could beat you without sword training.
People fear me. They kill you with H2O.
You can't beat me. I'm a Minecraft Slenderpro.
Enderman
I don't know what your problem is, Slender.
You got worse problems than Bender.
I'll drop a diamond block on your ass, ******.
Then go back home and protect the Ender Dragon.

[Richard]

IRON MAN VS. GENERATOR REX! BEGIN!
Iron Man
Bitch, please. I shouldn't have to battle. I'm Robert Downey, Jr.
You couldn't beat me, not with that jetpack or those robot boots that bust losers.
I'm the best hero out of Marvel. You're what's left of Tennyson.
You got pounded in the middle of a city I saved, Manhattan.
You couldn't fight if an accident didn't happen.
I got my powers from a Cold War tech to fight Communism.
Generator Rex
You're hardly a superhero. You can't even put on your own suit.
You have robots in the building do it for you. You couldn't even take off one of your iron boots.
You look like Van Kleiss with his Nanites gone even more crazy.
You can't beat anyone on your own. You rely on the Avengers and Illuminati.
Iron Man
You're the doll of a multi-armed gothic girl. I'm the best hero.
Bitch, I'm Iron Man. The number under your name in the poll down there will be zero.
The Avengers and Illumanti are just partners, not the main event.
Face it, Rex. We aren't even close to even.
Generator Rex
Got that right, Tony. I'm much greater than you.
I took the whole world's Nanites and made them into a weak robot, just like you.
In another world, you got killed by Mister Fantastic.
Aquania to Abyssus. Bug Jar to Pocket Dimension. I can beat you even if we were in your own attic.

[Richard]

NELSON MANDELA VS. ROSA PARKS! BEGIN!
Nelson Mandela
I bet you law studies I will win this battle.
I don't need to fight a woman who had a bus seat battle.
I'll leave your boycott in Montgomery in the Pollsmoor Prison.
March down your street like the Ku Klux Klansmen.
Your bus is just at a museum now, no more glory days.
You may not give your seat up, but the police can make you raise.
Rosa Parks
I wasn't tired that day. Except tired of giving in.
I'm more trusted with seats than your Thembu regent.
I can stomp you out while sitting down.
Then drive you out of your Mvezo town.
I admit, you are a good president.
But in 1999, you were out of that resident.
Nelson Mandela
You only had hardships after your protest.
Even during World War II, I was still able to rest.
You got released, but then became a hostess for Hampton Institute.
I've seen better crap from a prostitute.
Rosa Parks
There's no room for you on the Underground Railroad.
You'll have to stand like my color did on the bus road.
I'd leave you in your non-violent path.
Then say Ghandi can kiss my ass.

[Richard]

DANIEL BOONE VS. DAVY CROCKETT! BEGIN!
Daniel Boone
Gonna blaze you like I did my Wilderness road.
Is there any act of Congress that you do not oppose?
You're a resident of a Limestone community.
You've got the most boring autobiography.
You're just a little Freemason.
People trust me more than your masonic apron.
Davy Crockett
You're a male whore! Ten children!
Most of your adventures were legends!
I died fighting the Alamo.
How you died, the world may never know.
Every time someone moved near you, you left.
What's your problem, Dan? You under people skills stress?
Daniel Boone
I moved every time to keep my resources clean.
Your poster is false, you can't ride on a croc-a-dilly!
You've got too many namesakes, David.
Most of them are in Texas, probably Austin.
Davy Crockett
Every thing is bigger in Texas, my friend.
But I believe that your dick isn't. Not now, not in the end.
I'm legendary for my coonskin hat. You took credit.
You got wrong remains dug up. No evidence? Here's my forensics.