Parody Putin's Verse As Another Character.

[GonadTheNomad]

So, following the basics of Putin's ERB verse, make one similar to it, for another character.

In case you can't read titles.

Anyway, here's mine, for Sam Fisher (I expect exactly none of you to get this one's meaning 100%):

Spoiler: 

Psst..hey. You want to mess with me?
I spit LTL rounds when I'm crushing these lights.
Blow it up like a wall mine, while I'm balling in Georgia.
Doing Krav Maga moves and schooling every one of Nikoladze's sukas!
I'm a SIGNIT ninja in my 50's, my enemies might outrun me.
But the last man who attacked me got heart stabbed, so, buddy come at me!
You don't know what your doing, when you try and bust a rhyme against a man like me.
You'll find that the ex-U.S. Navy is the best SC in Echelon #3!

[ZoroarkPKMN]

Ash Ketchum:

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say the very best?
Ha! You want to mess with me?
I spit Flame Charges while I'm crushing these geeks
Blow it up like a Voltorb, while I'm balling in Kanto
Pokemon do moves and schooling every challenger in Sinnoh
I'm a trainer in my prime, Team Rocket doesn't distract me
The last Pokemon to attack me fainted badly, so old friend come at me!
You don't know what you're doing when you try and bust a rhyme against a mind of my creation
You'll find that the ex-Champion is the best trainer in all six generations!

[Dr. Stein]

Mario:

Spoiler: 

Wahoo! You want to mess with me?
I use my fire flower while i'm crushing koopa troopas
Blow it up like a Bob-omb, while i'm ballin in World - 9
Eatin mushrooms while i'm schoolin this big bad King Koopa
I'll save that princess in her prime, bullet bills don't distract me,
the last goomba who attacked me, got ground pounded, so luigi come with me!
You don't know what you're doin, when your try to bust a rhyme against my star power
You'll find that this italian plumber makes the best hero in all of videogamedom!

[Uprising]

A person who doesn't know what to do with their life yet:

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say flamingos?
Haaaaaa, you want to mess with me?
I use brute force when I'm trimming these trees
Blowing up many balloons, when I'm training a baboon
Doing parkour moves and making people ride in a pontoon
I'm a human being in my prime, my enemies don't exist yet
The last person who had a toothache almost went to me, so don't get too wet!
I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just trying to make something up for job reviewing
You'll find that the A-B-C-D are the first T-H-I-N-Gs in the A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T!

[Lancer]

Pool (With Permission)
{[Controversial Humor Alert!!!]}

Spoiler: 

(He wrote some of dis)

Did somebody say Jews?
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW Jew want to mess with me?
I spit screamers as I fuck with Jewr mom
Blow it up like Kim Jong Un while I'm fucking with Jewr mum
Doing racist jokes and scaring the fuck out of Gunnut
I'm a penis in my prime, my badassery don't desert me
The last jew to attack me got gassed so come rape me
Jew dunno whatcha doing when Jew're trying to rape the ass of Poolio
Jew'll find that this nygga jew asian is the best rappa in the whole white world. I QUIT.

Red from Pokemon, Chell, Gordon Freeman, etc.

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

GLaDOS

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say Cake?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! You want to test with me?
I sent out turrets to crush tests subjects woo hee
Blow it up like a turret while I'm watching a deer again
Scaring birds away and fucking with that FUCKING MORON
I'm an AI in my prime, bitch, you messing with me?
The last bot to attack me made me a potato but whatever come at me
You dunno what you're doing when you're fucking with the almighty GLADOS
You'll find that the Genetic Lifeform DOS is the best life killer in the whole of Aperture

Batman

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY NICE HAT
NANANANANANANANANANA YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME
I SPIT

Alfred:
Sir, you have no parents.

Batman:
*runs away crying*

[GonadTheNomad]

Pool (With Permission)
{[Controversial Humor Alert!!!]}

Spoiler: 

(He wrote some of dis)

Did somebody say Jews?
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW You want to mess with me?
I spit screamers as I fuck with your mom
Blow it up like Kim Jong Un while I'm fucking with your mum
Doing racist jokes and scaring the fuck out of Gunnut
I'm a penis in my prime, my badassery don't desert me
The last jew to attack me got gassed so come rape me
You dunno whatcha doing when you're trying to rape the ass of Poolio
You'll find that this nygga jew asian is the best rappa in the whole white world. I QUIT.

Red from Pokemon, Chell, Gordon Freeman, etc.

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

GLaDOS

Spoiler: 

Did somebody say Cake?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! You want to test with me?
I sent out turrets to crush tests subjects woo hee
Blow it up like a turret while I'm watching a deer again
Scaring birds away and fucking with that FUCKING MORON
I'm an AI in my prime, bitch, you messing with me?
The last bot to attack me made me a potato but whatever come at me
You dunno what you're doing when you're fucking with the almighty GLADOS
You'll find that the Genetic Lifeform DOS is the best life killer in the whole of Aperture

Batman

Spoiler: 

DID SOMEBODY SAY NICE HAT
NANANANANANANANANANA YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME
I SPIT

Alfred:
Sir, you have no parents.

Batman:
*runs away crying*

[Lancer]

That was the aforementioned part Pool wrote. Soddy. ._.

[GonadTheNomad]

That was the aforementioned part Pool wrote. Soddy. ._.

Why can't people just stfu about the damn thing?

[Clemi]

Myself (fuck rhymes) :
Did somebody say surrender ?
OUIIIIIIIIIIII you want to cook with me ?
I spit hot toast when I'm crushing these dicks
Blow it up like a penis, while i'm bailing in Paris
Doing parkour move and schooling Adam VS Eve saloooopes !
I'm an ambassador in my prime, my enemies make me sit in my chair an smile
The last man who attacked me forfeited so mon ami come at me
You know what you're doing, when you try to bust a rhyme against a guy like Clemi
You'll find that the HW is a good MC in the E R B O H

[Samos]

Bob Marley:
Did someone say weed?
Jaaaa, you want to hang with me?
I spit hot smoke while I'm smoking this weed.
Light it up like it's a blunt, while I'm playing in my hutt,
playing reggae songs for every Rastafarian dude's butt.
I'm a musician and I'm high, the weed helps to relax me,
the last man who attacked me was the sheriff, so ja mon come at me!
You all know that you wanna
let me sell you some of this marijuana,
you'll find that the ex-Nesta is the best rappa in all of Jamaica!