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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #91
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo View Post
    I'll do both.

    #DOUBLE#TROUBLE#NIGGA
    k

    That leaves a spot open for pirate.

    *Hones Uprizzle signal*

    *Is a Wisconsin flag shining in the general direction of the East Coast*

    EDIT: *Also tries the Umbrizzle signal because why not*
    Last edited by GonadTheNomad; 10-17-2013 at 08:05 PM.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  2. #92

  3. #93
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers -
    PolarBore
    HeroSamuel
    Wumbo
    Helioptile

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/3hp6rV9.jpg


    Spoiler: 

    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!
    TUPAC SHAKUR
    VS
    BILL COSBY!
    BEGIN!

    Bill Cosby -

    ZIPPITY ZAP ZOO ZAPOW
    ZOOBITY ZA ZO ZA, ZIS NIGGA'S GONNA GO DOWN!
    SUCK MY SWEATER
    OH WAIT, MR RODGERS IS BORROWIN' MY SWEATER
    KIDS, THEY LISTEN TO YOUR RAP
    DEY GET DA BRAIN DAMAGE
    YOU SEE
    WELL THEY'RE HIPPIN TO THE HOPPITY TO THE PIPPIN TO THE POP
    AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE JAZZ IS ALL ABOUT
    YOU SEE
    YOUR RHYMES ARE LIKE JELLO PUDDING
    NO
    ACTUALLY YOUR RHYMES ARE LIKE KODAK FILM
    NO
    ACTUALLY YOUR RHYMES ARE LIKE NEW COKE
    THEY SUCK

    Tupac -

    NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I'M 100% NIGGA
    YOU BET MY NIGGA DICKS BIGGA
    YO I'MMA BUST A CAP IN YO ASS WHEN I PULL THIS TRIGGER
    YOU LOOK LIKE A HOLOGRANDMA AND YOU'RE A ******
    THEY CALL ME TUPAC BECAUSE I'M GOING TU PAC A PUNCH
    I EAT LITTLE PIECES OF SHIT LIKE YOU EVERYDAY FOR LUNCH
    BILL COSBY, YOU LITERALLY HAVE NO MUSCLE
    NIGGA, THIS IS SHAKUR'S TERRITORY, WANNA TUSSLE!
    I'M BACK, I'M BLACK, I'M TUPAC, YOU'RE GAY
    AND I'M GOING TO SMACK THIS ******'S ASS, KKK?

    Bill Cosby -

    ZIPPAWEE ZAP
    ZOOP ZO DOOOOOO
    BOOBITY BAP
    BOOBITY BOOOO
    BODOBAPOOP
    SKIBADABADABOP
    WUBWUBWUB
    FAPFAPFAP

    Tupac -

    NIGGA ****** NIGGA ****** NIGGITY NIG NIG
    NIGGING NIGNIG NIGGA NIGGA NIG NIG NIGGA
    NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA
    NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA
    NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA AFRICAN AMERICAN NIGGA NIGGA
    NIGGITY NIGGA MLK'S MAH NIGGA, BUT YOU THE REAL NIGGA
    IMMA PULL THE TRIGGER

    *The Doctor is walking by, and Tupac's bullet hits him*

    The Doctor -
    DANG FLABBIT GONAD YOU SHOT ME

    Gonad -
    IT WASN'T ME U SLUT

    *The Doctor regenerates into...*

    Samuel Jackson -

    SAY WHAT ONE MORE TIME, I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHAFUCKA
    YOU ALL BE OEDIPUS, CUZ YA'LL A BUNCH OF MUTHAFUCKAS!
    OR MAYBE YOU BLACK LIKE UMBREON, CUZ YA'LL A MUTHADUCKAS!
    I'LL CRASH INTO YOU WITH MY MOTHAFUCKIN TRUCKA
    I HAD TO USE THAT LINE BECAUSE IT'S A RUNNING GAG, MOTHAFUCKAS
    CALL ME VLADIMIR PUTIN CUZ YOU'RE ALL SUKAS!
    I BET THAT YOU GUYS HAVE SEX WITH YO MOTHAS
    Hey Bill Cosby, ENGLISH MOTHAFUCKA DO YOU SPEAK IT?
    AND TUPAC YOU AIN'T MY MUTHAFUCKA OR MAH NIGGA
    CALL IT SNAKES ON A PLANE, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU MOTHAFUCKAS
    And now I must ask you gentlemen to sit down and stop causing ruckus.


    WHO WON?
    WHO'S NE-
    Gunnut - I call dibs on The Doctor (and Myself) when we make the audio
    We need a beat a- *SHOT*
    NO FUCK YOU!
    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!

  4. #94
    Baldy Jr's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
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    Wow, I wonder who made that amazing cover.
    Spoiler: 


    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    "Oh."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    ARRRR THE ROOM'S PRODUCTION COST EARNED YOUR CONDEMNATION
    BUT I'LL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR HARSH REVIEW EVASION
    AND THROW YOU OVERBOARD LIKE THAT FILM ABOMINATION
    SO PREPARE TO LEARN THE FILM VAULT COMBINATION
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    I LIKE IT FOR THE SEXY MEN
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    OMG I REMEMBER WEBKINZ.

    I HAD A FROG NAMED "STICKY"

    BUT YOU DONT SEE ME GOING AROUND BY THE NAME STICKY DO YOU?!
    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.
    Dude..

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    it’s my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

  5. #95
    StealthyNinjaWhale's Avatar Badass Blueberry
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    About 12 feet away from you.
    Posts
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    Do i need to beat again
    I don't have friends here. everybody loves me though. Previously known as Andrino.

    I make music. You can find it here.
    https://soundcloud.com/youririnozmusic

    Andrino is always getting the massive erection that is life - Wumbo, 2013
    But, alas, much of society today will see you slapped fifteen times by a girl without interference, but the first strike back would get you handcuffed - Gunnut, 2013
    ever came so hard you started to moan the Opening of lion king? - YellowNerd, 2014

  6. #96
    Baldy Jr's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Spoiler: 


    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    "Oh."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    ARRRR THE ROOM'S PRODUCTION COST EARNED YOUR CONDEMNATION
    BUT I'LL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR HARSH REVIEW EVASION
    AND THROW YOU OVERBOARD LIKE THAT FILM ABOMINATION
    SO PREPARE TO LEARN THE FILM VAULT COMBINATION
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    I LIKE IT FOR THE SEXY MEN
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    OMG I REMEMBER WEBKINZ.

    I HAD A FROG NAMED "STICKY"

    BUT YOU DONT SEE ME GOING AROUND BY THE NAME STICKY DO YOU?!
    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.
    Dude..

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    it’s my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

  7. #97
    Facilier
    Guest
    50 states sequel#

  8. #98
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
    Join Date
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    The audio/video of Blackbeard vs a Scientist

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc0ju...ature=youtu.be
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  9. #99
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
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    Writers -
    SPECIAL GUEST LOHUYDAHUTT!
    SPECIAL GUEST ADONIS!
    Gunnut
    Uprising
    PolarBore

    Spoiler: 

    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH
    THE TITANIC
    VS
    AN ICEBERG
    BEGIN!


    Iceberg -

    Hi, Im Iceberg, live and in the flesh
    Except I dont have flesh, but I still am the best
    Titanic thinks he has a huge wee?
    I even have a pokemon based on me!
    You're so fat that they cant lift you from the bottom of the sea.
    Im an ice ninja, So suk mah pee
    I was the best actor in your stupid movie
    You're just a boat who will never see boobies
    You wanna crash into me? Whatever floats your boat
    Oh wait, if you crash you'll no longer float
    You suck tub, you scrub, and soon you'll be
    Crashed into with yourself while I sip this Icee!


    Titanic -

    THEY CALL ME THE TITANIC BECAUSE I HAVE A HUGE DICK
    YOU ARE LIKE A CACTUS CUZ UR A HUGE PRICK
    This is the Revenge of the Titan-ics!
    I'm a boat, moterfuxker, and I fucked yo bitch!
    Im so good at rapping, my name rhymes with Eminem
    Well, it would if my name was Titanicinem
    Your rhymes may be cold but my boiler's hot
    I spit more hard disses then you smoke pot!
    Santa put coal in your stocking, you ratchet ho!
    I am Titanic but you already know me
    You're just jealous cuz you still wear pool floaties
    Even when I sink the rich people survive
    So everything's fine because they're alive
    When I sail on your turf, I don't step down
    You're a cold hearted-and-everything-e​lse son of a bitch who can't handle himself on the ground!


    Iceberg -

    ANY BOAT NAMED TITANIC
    PROBABLY JUST SINKS
    DIS ICEE OF MINE IS COLDER AND REDDER THAN YOU AND ALL THAT BLOOD RIGHT NOW
    I JUST RAN ON A SENTENCE, CAPOW
    PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS
    WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I HURL...S
    MY RAPS ARE DRYER THAN ME WHEN I'M DRY ICE
    I BET YOUR CAPTAIN HAD HEAD LICE!
    SO EAT MY CUBES LIKE THE BITCH BOAT YOU ARE
    YOUR FIRST VOYAGE WAS A DISAST..AR


    Titanic -

    I WILL CRASH INTO YOU WITH MY BOAT
    I WOULD NEVER WRITE YOU A NOTE
    I BET 3RD CLASS PASSENGERS FLOAT
    BECAUSE "I'M AWESOME" AND YES THAT'S A DIRECT QUOTE
    BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I'M A FUCKING BOAT
    YOU JUST ACCUMULATE WATER AND BLOAT
    YOU'RE MORE ANNOYING THAN A WINTER COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAT
    I DO NOT HAVE A MOAT
    BUT I AM A BOAT
    DID I MENTION THAT I'M A BOA--*Sank*


    Bottom of the Ocean -

    Did somebody say...Boat?
    Because I just ate a boat
    I see that you gave me some food today
    Because you know, you're fuckin' GHEY
    I make all of the ladies wet
    I'll crash into you with my jet
    IcebergxMyPenis I totally SHIP that
    Because both of you are totally fat
    I got more wraps then the ummm seven seas
    Because pollution is bad you see

    Avalugg -

    Did someone say... Fat?
    I'm a pokemon
    Cause I fucked your mom
    And went with her to the prom
    Avalugg used earthquake... Bitch.
    I SEA that you gave me some food today
    All of you are so GAY
    AVALUGG WILL PLUG YOU INTO AN OUTLET
    OR AN INLET, BUT YOU'RE JUST A PIGLET
    I CAUSE AVALANCHES WITH MY FACE
    BECAUSE YOU'RE A DISGRACE


    Sail Boat -

    I sail like awol
    I'll make you call your fall
    With piss on the wall
    Cuz I catch wind and all
    All in all you're just another brick in the wall
    Like pink floyd
    Cuz' all these rhymes are written by loyd
    Except for the ones that aren't
    Because they simply aren't
    I've caught winds of your fart and boy they smell
    So you can all take a sprit to the face and go to hell!


    Iceberg -

    I'm rapping again
    Because I can
    So you can all die
    Because your life is a lie
    I'm the best wrapper because my rhymes are tight
    I am the iceberg that goes bump in the night
    And I sunk the Titanic and his dick because you know I'm right
    All of you, you literally have no muscle
    And no arms so you can't tussle
    If you deny my chill you swallow pills
    I have some better shit to fulfill
    Like ummm surviving global warming cuz Al Gore is rite

    Al Gore -

    I should've been elected*shot*

    Iceberg -

    AlBIWLA HAMANDAG MEANS YOU SUCK IN ICEBERGESE
    ALSO YAHAMCHAO WJAPOGUA BITCH
    Titanic, you can lick
    Avalugg you have a small dick
    Ocean ummm ben drowned
    Sailboat, your rhymes are not profound
    This verse is still going cuz why not
    You guys all... suck a lot
    Btw Burgh is the best gym leader ever
    I'll squash you like a bug 5ever
    So fear me not when I rape yer glacier
    I'm like batman cause I got batarangs
    Except I don't. I have no clue why I said that
    Oh well I'm made of ice
    Because I am nice
    I'll beat your ass thrice
    WARRGARRBL
    MY VERSE IS GOING TO BE LONGER THAN WISCONSIN

    Titanic -

    I am dead
    I am fish fed
    This battle ends now so shut the fuck up everyone
    Titanic your dick is small what are you even doing?
    I'll be chilling in my glacier uh, have fun canoeing

    WHO WON?
    WHO'S NEXT?
    YOU DECIDE!

    Bottom of the Ocean -

    STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM NOW WE'RE HERE
    STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM NOW THE *shot*

    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!

  10. #100
    Dion's Avatar Skumfuk Administrator
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    Canada
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    ewwwww

    Resident Skumfuk

    Spoiler: 
    Spoiler: 

    *SEXUAL TENSION*

    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by Top-Hattington
    ...I can almost smell your acumen
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH
    Dion the great, the first to spoketh with peter the nice, the first to modeth globally, the first to donatith
    Quote Originally Posted by Epic Doctor X
    Dion's a true ERB gambler
    Quote Originally Posted by Epic Doctor X
    Every one on this forum has a crush on Dion. No exceptions. Why? Because you're freakin' dead if you don't have a crush on Dion.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    I can never stop changing my username.
    Personally, Dion, Dion, and Dion were your best. It all went downhill when you chose Dion, though. Should've stuck with Dion.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chat Box
    Wumbo: KINGDOM HEARTS FUCKING THREE
    Dion: KINGDOM HEARTS FUCKING THREE
    Dr. Facilier: Dion you wont be in it
    Dion: Won't be in what?
    Umbreon: Kingdom Hearts 3 apparently
    Dion: I will be in Kingdom Hearts 3.
    Umbreon: Dion will be the final boss of Kingdom Hearts 3
    Quote Originally Posted by Top-Hattington
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Top-Hattington
    My mom bought new soup bowls. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
    Wear them as a bra, Top.
    I can't. They're for soup, not my luscious breasts. Plus they have handles. I can't wear a bra with handles.
    Quote Originally Posted by 0 View Post
    Dion: "Do any of you culture-less shit bags even watch anime?!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Top-Hattington
    If we were in a 1950s high school, Dion would be like the dreamy hunk and we're all just innocent poodle skirt-wearing girls harboring a deep deep love for him
    Quote Originally Posted by Lohuydahutt
    [23-07, 03:21] Lohuydahutt: * Lohuydahutt comes in at a completely random time and becomes attracted to Dion for some inexplicable reason

    It's been 30 minutes since the Kingdom Hearts 3 announcement, and my life has turned around for the better. I stopped doing hard drugs, and my grades have improved by margins. I got off the streets and got a real job. I called my mom who I haven't talked to in years and introduced her to my girlfriend I met 29 minutes ago, Emma Watson. Upon hanging up the phone, Taco Bell arrived with my delivery and the driver gave me his winning lotto ticket. Emma and I then proceeded to cuddle while watching Sword Art Online and Attack on Titan. I am typing this from my waterbed on my Yacht in the Tropics. This has been a good day... Ah, I have to go guys... Emma just fell asleep on my washboard 12pac abs that I got from doing sit ups 5 minutes ago. Don't want to disturb her. It almost feels like a scattered dream that's like a far-off memory... a far-off memory that's like a scattered dream...

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