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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #121
    Baldy Jr's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama View Post
    This is what I do when I have a snow day and have nothing better to do.

    Dedicated to those who suffered in the writing of this battle.
    Sweet Mother of Mary
    Spoiler: 


    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    "Oh."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    ARRRR THE ROOM'S PRODUCTION COST EARNED YOUR CONDEMNATION
    BUT I'LL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR HARSH REVIEW EVASION
    AND THROW YOU OVERBOARD LIKE THAT FILM ABOMINATION
    SO PREPARE TO LEARN THE FILM VAULT COMBINATION
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    I LIKE IT FOR THE SEXY MEN
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    OMG I REMEMBER WEBKINZ.

    I HAD A FROG NAMED "STICKY"

    BUT YOU DONT SEE ME GOING AROUND BY THE NAME STICKY DO YOU?!
    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.
    Dude..

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    itís my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

  2. #122
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama View Post
    This is what I do when I have a snow day and have nothing better to do.

    Dedicated to those who suffered in the writing of this battle.
    Wow.
    /5char

  3. #123
    YellowNerd's Avatar More Blonde in your Movie
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    Jesus fucking christ

  4. #124
    Facilier
    Guest
    All my reps are belong to you

    "you must spread you rep around before giving to Sambama again" my ass

  5. #125
    Uprising's Avatar Lifetime of Green
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama View Post
    This is what I do when I have a snow day and have nothing better to do.

    Dedicated to those who suffered in the writing of this battle.
    hoyl fakn shite

  6. #126
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    woot Gunnut day special
    COVER - http://i.imgur.com/iKppwYo.png

    WRITERS -
    PolarBore
    Sambama
    Tomahawk
    Clemi


    Spoiler: 

    EPIC MEH BATTLES OF JOKE!
    GUNNUT MKVI
    VERSUS
    TOMMY WISEAUUUUUUUUU
    BEGIN!


    Gunnut MKVI -
    wow such diss, wow much rap,
    i will raepstick u because i don't give much crap
    you made the worst movie ever, it could burn a city to ash
    it made me throw up in that one scene where you showed your ass
    the situation you're in now is very dire
    now i'll go in for teh kill, #shots #fired


    Tommy Wiseau -
    ohai geauxnaht
    yhu steenk moar den scaht
    ahm geauxing to threaux yhu dahwn a well
    so cahm en sak mai wud, b cairful naht to get a spleenter (cell)
    yuo know betr than to rap wiht me
    Gunnut: wat no
    Tommy: YOU KNOW BETTERRRRR


    Gunnut MKVI -
    bitch plz i'll shoot you in the... uh... the spleen
    and the tommy wi-show was the worst show (I'VE EVER SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN)
    i mean look at you you're french clearly you're shit
    and you can't diss a dude without the wit


    Tommy Wiseau -
    hahaha waht a stuory geauxnaht
    yuo seem mad
    suk my gonad
    come at me, yuo wont get farrrr
    because i'll crash into yuo wit-with MY CAR
    killed it


    Gunnut MKVI -
    CAHMM AHHNN, you cant even impersonate a chicken
    somehow you manage to suck more than Uprisen
    i'm the best raeper and the best rapper, so suck it
    and like i said just a bit ago you can't diss a dude without the wit
    ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
    TOMMY WISEAU? MORE LIKE JOHNNY YOU-BLOW
    i can shoot better than you
    the only time you hit your target was when you killed yourself, jew
    #rekt


    Tommy Wiseau and Lisa -
    Tommy: yuo whhyne so mach about yuor infrajctions
    i bet yuo cant even do ejaculatshuns
    Lisa: Gunnut, you look like hitler
    And your face is as uneven as my tit(ler)


    Lisa -
    Actually, Johnny, in bed you're really bad
    I'm leaving you because I'm going to need a REAL Gonad
    Gunnut: FUCK YE-wait whats a girl


    Super Saiyan Tommy -
    GAH I'M FED UP WIF DIS WHIRL
    SCRU U GONAD AND I BET LEESA ISN'T EVEN A GIRL
    EVERYWAN BEETREy me
    DO YUO UNDERJSGTAND LIEF LEEESA
    EYIE AM SO MAHD ILL TURN YUO AND GONAT TO PIZZA
    AHL LEEF A MARK AHN JUR FAIS BOT I WEEL NAHT HEET JEW
    YHU GAIZ STEENK EFEN WERSE DEN POOH
    LEESA'S A BICH AND ALL GONAT SAHS ES BLAH
    NAOW BEFAOR I KEIL MAHSELF ILL GIV U A CAMEHUMEUHAH


    WHaudiO WaudioON?
    WHaudiO'S NEXT?
    YaudiOU DECIDE!
    TERRIBLE JaudiOKE BATTLES audiOF MEH!
    Last edited by Poles; 02-09-2014 at 10:52 PM.

  7. #127
    Baldy Jr's Avatar Super Moderator
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    We might need subtitles.
    Spoiler: 


    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    "Oh."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    ARRRR THE ROOM'S PRODUCTION COST EARNED YOUR CONDEMNATION
    BUT I'LL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR HARSH REVIEW EVASION
    AND THROW YOU OVERBOARD LIKE THAT FILM ABOMINATION
    SO PREPARE TO LEARN THE FILM VAULT COMBINATION
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    I LIKE IT FOR THE SEXY MEN
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    OMG I REMEMBER WEBKINZ.

    I HAD A FROG NAMED "STICKY"

    BUT YOU DONT SEE ME GOING AROUND BY THE NAME STICKY DO YOU?!
    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.
    Dude..

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    itís my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

  8. #128
    StealthyNinjaWhale's Avatar Badass Blueberry
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    These things are just as I remember them.


    Fucking great.
    I don't have friends here. everybody loves me though. Previously known as Andrino.

    I make music. You can find it here.
    https://soundcloud.com/youririnozmusic

    Andrino is always getting the massive erection that is life - Wumbo, 2013
    But, alas, much of society today will see you slapped fifteen times by a girl without interference, but the first strike back would get you handcuffed - Gunnut, 2013
    ever came so hard you started to moan the Opening of lion king? - YellowNerd, 2014

  9. #129
    Uprising's Avatar Lifetime of Green
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    Who can even read that

  10. #130
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore View Post
    woot Gunnut day special
    COVER - http://i.imgur.com/iKppwYo.png

    WRITERS -
    PolarBore
    Sambama
    Tomahawk
    Clemi


    Spoiler: 

    EPIC MEH BATTLES OF JOKE!
    GUNNUT MKVI
    VERSUS
    TOMMY WISEAUUUUUUUUU
    BEGIN!


    Gunnut MKVI -
    wow such diss, wow much rap,
    i will raepstick u because i don't give much crap
    you made the worst movie ever, it could burn a city to ash
    it made me throw up in that one scene where you showed your ass
    the situation you're in now is very dire
    now i'll go in for teh kill, #shots #fired


    Tommy Wiseau -
    ohai geauxnaht
    My sincerest greetings to you, organ that produces gametes.
    yhu steenk moar den scaht
    Your fragrance is less desirable than that of an animal's excrement.
    ahm geauxing to threaux yhu dahwn a well
    My intention is to propel you downward into a well.
    so cahm en sak mai wud, b cairful naht to get a spleenter (cell)
    For that reason, I request that you come over here and place your lips upon my phallus, of which I refer to as wood. I advice you to be aware of the risk of splinters.
    yuo know betr than to rap wiht me
    You have the intellect to know that challenging me in a lyrical duel is not a wise decision.
    Gunnut: wat no
    Tommy: YOU KNOW BETTERRRRR
    YOU HAVE THE INTELLECTTTTTTTT


    Gunnut MKVI -
    bitch plz i'll shoot you in the... uh... the spleen
    and the tommy wi-show was the worst show (I'VE EVER SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN)
    i mean look at you you're french clearly you're shit
    and you can't diss a dude without the wit


    Tommy Wiseau -
    hahaha waht a stuory geauxnaht
    *chortles* What an interesting narrative, organ that produces gametes.
    yuo seem mad
    It is my understanding that you possess fury over the given situation.
    suk my gonad
    Place your lips upon my organ that produces gametes.
    come at me, yuo wont get farrrr
    Take steps towards me, you won't take an excessive amount.
    because i'll crash into yuo wit-with MY CAR
    For it is my intention to collide with you whilst using my automobile.
    killed it
    Assassinated it.


    Gunnut MKVI -
    CAHMM AHHNN, you cant even impersonate a chicken
    somehow you manage to suck more than Uprisen
    i'm the best raeper and the best rapper, so suck it
    and like i said just a bit ago you can't diss a dude without the wit
    ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
    TOMMY WISEAU? MORE LIKE JOHNNY YOU-BLOW
    i can shoot better than you
    the only time you hit your target was when you killed yourself, jew
    #rekt


    Tommy Wiseau and Lisa -
    Tommy: yuo whhyne so mach about yuor infrajctions
    You have far too many complaints about the punishments you were given whilst on the Epic Rap Battles of History formerly official but now un-official forum.
    i bet yuo cant even do ejaculatshuns
    I would place a wager that you are incapable of discharging your reproductive fluids.
    Lisa: Gunnut, you look like hitler
    And your face is as uneven as my tit(ler)


    Lisa -
    Actually, Johnny, in bed you're really bad
    I'm leaving you because I'm going to need a REAL Gonad
    Gunnut: FUCK YE-wait whats a girl


    Super Saiyan Tommy -
    GAH I'M FED UP WIF DIS WHIRL
    I have had more than enough of the planet Earth.
    SCRU U GONAD AND I BET LEESA ISN'T EVEN A GIRL
    Have intercourse with you, organ that produces gametes, and I would place a wager that Elizabeth does not possess a clitoris.
    EVERYWAN BEETREy me
    Everyone has acted traitorous upon me.
    DO YUO UNDERJSGTAND LIEF LEEESA
    Do you comprehend the state of being, Elizabeth?
    EYIE AM SO MAHD ILL TURN YUO AND GONAT TO PIZZA
    My fury at the moment is to the point that I shall cause you both to undergo metamorphosis into an oven-baked, flat, round bread typically topped with a tomato sauce, cheese and various toppings.
    AHL LEEF A MARK AHN JUR FAIS BOT I WEEL NAHT HEET JEW
    I shall leave a bruise upon your countenance, however, I shall not strike you in any way, shape or form.
    YHU GAIZ STEENK EFEN WERSE DEN POOH
    Your fragrances are less desirable than those of excrement of any kind.
    LEESA'S A BICH AND ALL GONAT SAHS ES BLAH
    Elizabeth is a canis lupus familiaris and possesses a clitoris, while the only thing that ever comes out of the mouth of the organ that produces gametes is rubbish.
    NAOW BEFAOR I KEIL MAHSELF ILL GIV U A CAMEHUMEUHAH
    Now, before I commit suicide, I intend to give you both an energy attack from the popular Japanese action-adventure broadcast known as ''Dragonball-Z''.


    WHaudiO WaudioON?
    WHaudiO'S NEXT?
    YaudiOU DECIDE!
    TERRIBLE JaudiOKE BATTLES audiOF MEH!
    I hope this helps those who can't understand Wiseau's lyrics.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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