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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #161
    Wumbo's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Spoiler: 


    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    "Oh."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    ARRRR THE ROOM'S PRODUCTION COST EARNED YOUR CONDEMNATION
    BUT I'LL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR HARSH REVIEW EVASION
    AND THROW YOU OVERBOARD LIKE THAT FILM ABOMINATION
    SO PREPARE TO LEARN THE FILM VAULT COMBINATION
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    I LIKE IT FOR THE SEXY MEN
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    OMG I REMEMBER WEBKINZ.

    I HAD A FROG NAMED "STICKY"

    BUT YOU DONT SEE ME GOING AROUND BY THE NAME STICKY DO YOU?!
    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.
    Dude..

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    itís my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

  2. #162
    YellowNerd's Avatar More Blonde in your Movie
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    Best kek 10/10

  3. #163

  4. #164
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers:
    PolarBore
    Lohuydahutt
    Clemi
    YellowNerd
    Sambama
    AC Newton
    MaNCHA
    Wumbo

    Cover: http://i.imgur.com/3yMRRjo.png
    Spoiler: 

    EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
    SPIDERMAN
    VERUS
    A GIANT ROLL OF NEWSPAPERRRRRR


    A Giant Roll of Newspaper:

    THIS JUST IN ! MY PENIS INTO MARY JANE
    ANY GUY NAMED PETER PARKER... Oh shit I just spoiled your name
    Yo doc ock gave mary jane the cock isn't she yo gurl?
    Not anymore, READ ALL ABOUT IT! She's sucking my pearls!
    I roll like myself, you roll like a... cat that's... Wet?
    Yo at least I know how to shoot web, I'm on the internet
    Ooh here comes Peter, big moobs wobblin'
    swinging through the air like a big green gobalin
    BREAKING NEWS! Spiderman is GHEY!
    Oh wait that's not news, what did I just say?
    I'd make a joke about your Mom but I'm not even sure he exists!
    I squish nerds like that plane squished your parents
    Also known to smack little spiders like you
    Gonna pause for a second *pause*
    Doc Ock has 8 arms? Well I have 8 dicks
    If you flipped to the next page you'd see the dicks growing off my pics
    You have sticky fingers? Probably because your masterbating
    I'm using my glorious newspaper cum to be CREATING!
    Yo spiderman you're a failure to spiders MAN
    Spiders are scary and shit, you're just a gayer rainbow man
    ... Or he Man, but I question if you're a He Man
    I'd think a more accurate assessment is a nerdy she-man!
    You jew, your initials are PP
    Everyone reads me, you're just a JEW like Miss Daisy
    IN OTHER NEWS: THE VULTURE IS ON THE RUN!
    He's shitting on his feet and then having some fun!
    Who's going to stop this deadly menace?
    Certainly not the guy with the small spider sized PAENUS
    Your girl isn't hot, (except when she is) but she's mine now so go fuck a duck
    ... I think your movies suck.
    So good luck fucking that duck
    You're like a duck, but unlike a duck, YOU SUCK!
    Even Internet aggrees about how your remakes are worth the Room
    Swagypuss69 said "u suck diks #BOOM"
    Here's some additional evidence that you are a jew every year
    Your boss's initials are Jew Jew Jew Junior
    i'll smack you and your stupid spider sense
    but sheet the sense was 99 cents
    rapestick. That's my line.
    If you don't like it you can eat some Waluigi thyme!
    Here's some news for you, your rhymes really aren't rad
    go play some hardcore games like epicmafia with BRAD
    I look better than you and I'm not wearing red pants
    So you can suck my black and white COMIC SANS
    Youa rea s ugly as the lizard
    I'm a magic motherfuker you can call me a wizard
    You are WEAK, you little shit, and this is what I need to show
    Look, Uncle Ben's in the necrology section, HAHA what now?
    You ain't got no disses, but I'll give you a perm
    Remember when you killed Mary Jane with your radioactive sperm?
    Wait, you paid for the premium version, HAVE AN EXTRA 50 LINES
    Now I'm gonna drown you in my Red Wine (Seas)
    You sure get high a lot schooler but you're not funky fresh MAN
    You sophen more junior, so catch me if you can!
    Here are some more rhymes that rhyme with Man MAN
    Flan, woman, pan, began, Ran(dom), fan, cyan
    Do you have NEARLY as many sick rhymes as me? Nope you can('t)
    Ha spider man? More like Spider Woman
    People news: Peter Parker sucked an horse's dick and he swallowed
    And he killed Mary Jane with his seed? Wow that shouldn't be allowed
    But that's kind of confusing do spiders have semen?
    I'll refuse to figure out the answer unless this whole verse gets voiced by Morgan Freeman!
    Now nothing personnel, kid, but I gotta be honest
    I crush JEWs like you, call me Sir William of Wallace
    Also in other news: Paul McPaul age 6 died today.
    But what's even sadder? How much you're GAY!
    I fucked up Clemi's week because he has exams about me, and I'll ruin you too
    because Batman is a better (rapper than youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu​uuu)
    Breaking news! There has been a recent invasion, your girl is now MY RACK!
    Because I spit more redundant rhymes than a ballsack being a ballsack!
    I'm going to knock your little pete out of the Park-er!
    Then I'm going to dance around randomly and call my character darker!
    I couldn't understand
    Did you choke on a turkey or make love to an ant?
    I sort of forgot, didn't you fight off villains or something?
    Considering how much you smoke wise-crack they're probably nothing
    When you appeared, so did the villains
    I've made money off of your huge shenanigans
    When I'm lit on fire I emit smoke.
    Spider Man 3, that's this line's joke!
    Also your villains suck. Electro more like ElectNO
    Dock Ock? More like Dock Cock!
    Rhino? More like Rhin-HOE
    Sandman? More like sandlot.
    My rhymes are so sick they'll give you a fever
    I bet Peter here doesn't even have a Nice Peter
    Authorities are looking into your case, but they need to look more!
    Since I'm putting so much effort and time into you so you're a media whore!
    We haven't made an "I'll crash into you with my car" joke yet, so I'll crash into you with my car
    Emo Peter was a bigger failure than Jar Jar
    VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE
    VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE VERSACE
    NEWS! I beat this little shit, pictures NOW IN COLOR!
    I'll lorem ipsum your ass, and this won't be indolor
    You're such a loser that I'll call you a WOmantula!
    IDGAF you suck more than dracula
    I bet right now you're just sitting on your chair masterbating
    You remember emo spiderman? Nao that's distrbing
    Spiderman? More like Spider-that-likes-men
    brb, gonna eat some Uncle Ben's


    Spiderman:

    Yo they call me spider man, I'm not an actual spider MAN!
    *gets smacked*



    terrible joke battles
    bye
    Last edited by KnotPoles; 06-13-2014 at 09:09 PM.

  5. #165
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    This battle is cool because I played a role in writing it...

    Some shit like that

    Whatever.

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  6. #166
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers -
    MaNCHA
    PolarBore
    Wumbo
    Sambama


    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/8ze1XTS.png

    Spoiler: 

    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH
    SIR WILLIAM OF WALLACE
    VERSUS
    ROSSILINIIIIII
    BEGIN


    Sir William of Wallace -

    you sir, are a dipshit!!!!
    as the not-so-wise gonad once said, "you can't diss a dude without the wit!"
    as morgan freeman once said, "why don't you pick up a brain your own size (own size)"
    as insano once said, "you're just a football playing turtle who's serving me some fries (some fries)"
    as the handsome mel gibson once said, "are you a jew"
    as i am about to said "even sambama is a better leader (than yooooooooou)"
    oh and your face looketh like poo
    they should call you a jew cuz ur a jew


    Rossilini -

    i cant tell a lie you're about to be
    snapped like a JEW hating carrot... tree?
    since i am the best the great japanese rossilini
    i will slice you up into sushi made of expert linguini
    heres the difference between you and me, Willy
    im stting on my chair painting happy little trees, Willy
    im not a smurf like you, Willy
    i had syphilis, yeah, well you're a huge Willy


    Sir William of Wallace -

    WELL HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU A SPARTA KICK OF freedom


    Rossilini -

    ALSO IM GONNA KICK YOU IN HALF NOW
    *Rossilini kicks William of Wallace apart and brokes him*


    what the fuck rossilini
    you're DQed what the fuck dude
    let's pretend that didn't happen


    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH
    WATSKY
    VERSUS
    SAMMYCLASSICSONICFAN
    BEGIN!


    Watsky -

    Oh hai, I'm that guy, I make Dion and Wumbo cry
    Oh my, you go on the internet to tell lies? Just (Tony Kornheiser: WHY)
    You're 2slow like Gonad, raging like Brad
    And no gonads, egads, it's so sad *Dubstep*
    Your rhymes aren't Polar cold, but they're a Bore
    My raps are fast, LIKE SANIC LIKE SANIC LIKE SANIC ROOOOOAAAAR
    You frick, when I see your videos, all I do is lel
    Dropping bombs on you like I dropped myself


    SammyClassicSonicFan -

    you call me a kid, but you dont even know
    that i am OVER FIFTEEN YEARS OOOOOOLD
    I'm the best nintendo fagn that there ever were!
    You're a call of duty booty call that I just burned
    like knuckles with my firey fists of pure destruction
    so instruction abduction masturbuction amuck shin
    I am SAMMY you stupid LAMMBIE so you better get straight
    it's not even a secret u have an UGLY FACE (Sanic: OOOOOOOOOH FAST)


    Watsky -

    *Dubstep*
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsfd
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsfd
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsfd
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsfd
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgk-if you're messin with the WHORE LORD
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsfd
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsfd
    gosbjsgnjsfnvxgcnvsdfhncxvsfjhbgkihsf-I'LL CRASH INTO YOU WITH MY CAR


    SammyClassicSonicFan -

    grAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH, you're just a STUPID TROLL
    i mean SERIOUSLY?!?!?! your raps suck more than The Moles
    i am 15 years old, WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT MY AGE
    meanwhile you look like you're 2, AND THAT MAKES ME RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEE
    every time i hear you rap i say what the FRICK
    i had your mom here last night, i gave her ass butt a lick!
    Continue being a poor rapper, I'll just ride off on my sadler
    You may have 4 albums, that's fine, but THAT DOESN'T MATTER



    *The battle ends with Watsky's car colliding with Sammy, who is running at super Sanic speed. When the dust clears, Sammy and Watsky are making out*

    uhhh... well then
    *Backs away slowly* Terrible joke battles?


    Lara Croft -

    gaaaaaaaaay
    fight the gaytriarchy

    Last edited by KnotPoles; 06-19-2014 at 09:36 PM.

  7. #167
    Dr. Ninja's Avatar Lifetime of Green
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    Your Gwatzky was basically Shakespeares and EAP's second verses. (Atleast what people hear)

  8. #168
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #169
    Clemi's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama View Post
    404'd

  10. #170
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    http://vocaroo.com/i/s1MCQvAVLwSb

    Maybe this'll work.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

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