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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #181
    Spars's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    but

    but

    I wanted to help write this one D:


    Spoiler: 






    Thanks peeps <3333

  2. #182
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Here's a scrapped line I wrote but replaced with the other bees joke.

    Eminem: You think you'll beat me? Well no one agrees,
    Not your magic eight ball, not your bible and not the bees!

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  3. #183
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    OK, funny story behind this one. I made a Skype account pretending to be Batman Heisenberg, then added Sam. I suggested that we do one last "Epic Fap Battle of Mystery", and I suggested this. Sam then asked me (PolarBore) for permission to do it, and I said yes. I decided to go the "bad lines that you can tell were trying to some extent" route (Which was pretty hard). Here's how it ended up.

    Writers -
    PolarBore (Pretending to be Batman Heisenberg)
    Sambaba

    Cover - http://i.gyazo.com/a2d9e7a8a8b0011b582dfd0e08829fca.png

    SEASON 5 PREMIERE

    Spoiler: 

    Epic Fappppp Battles Of Mysteryyyyyyyy!

    POLARBORE AND DION

    VERSUS

    THE FORUM RULES!!!

    BEGIN!


    PolarBore:
    Fuck the rules! You're about to get mauled on by this bear
    You're a Terrible Joke, anyone who follows you should grow a pear!
    You're a cunt! I don't care about you at all! Give my mod dick a bite!
    Drop rhymes on you like a hammer, even though you didn't start this fight!
    I rule, rules! I don't give a duck about you!
    I'm scoring goals all day, what the hell do you do?
    There are rules everyone must follow, but that doesn't go for the mods
    I hate you more than I hate Batman Heisen and Batman vs Holmes! I'm a forum God!


    The Forum Rules:
    I'm about to give you a review like your ERBParodies
    You're a shitty mod, how can you enforce me if you don't follow me?
    A little basement dweller from Brazil on the internet all day
    Don't you know that it's a 7 point infraction for being gay?
    You should know about that number, you know, 7-1
    When you lost that game, I'm sure it wasn't fun
    There are almost 100 ways to beat you, you're out of luck
    Always spamming the chat and calling Umbreon a duck!


    Dion:
    Hey, it's Dion, every member around here loves my ass, even the trolls
    Gonna kill this joke like Joker, edit its face into a bloody pulp like a poll
    I made you, I can break you! Who's going to infract me?
    Not Rob, he's over in the land of inactivity
    NicePeter will never visit us, and I know why
    It's because you're useless, nobody ever follows you, guy!
    O Canada! Our home and native land!
    O ERBoH! The Website I command.


    The Forum Rules:
    What a bad verse, like everything your country produces
    From Dion to Bieber, they're all shitty in music!
    You're the reason why this forum's dying, banning everyone on the site
    Shouldn't have wasted your time giving Wumbo your banhammer in the night
    And sitting around watching anime all day
    Making that ugly ass face
    It's time for the final line, this'll be a boom
    You played Gandalf in Polar's battle, fitting since you love riding his broom


    WHO WON?
    WHO’S NEXT?
    YOU DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    EPI-EPI-EP-EP-EP-EPIC FAP BATTLES OF MYSTERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  4. #184
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Fun fact: I never actually wrote any lines. I just said "good" every time he suggested a line.

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #185
    BrineBlade's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    ...definitely gonna add music and vocals to this
    Spoiler: 

  6. #186
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore View Post
    OK, funny story behind this one. I made a Skype account pretending to be Batman Heisenberg, then added Sam. I suggested that we do one last "Epic Fap Battle of Mystery", and I suggested this. Sam then asked me (PolarBore) for permission to do it, and I said yes. I decided to go the "bad lines that you can tell were trying to some extent" route (Which was pretty hard). Here's how it ended up.

    Writers -
    PolarBore (Pretending to be Batman Heisenberg)
    Sambaba

    Cover - http://i.gyazo.com/a2d9e7a8a8b0011b582dfd0e08829fca.png

    SEASON 5 PREMIERE

    Spoiler: 

    Epic Fappppp Battles Of Mysteryyyyyyyy!

    POLARBORE AND DION

    VERSUS

    THE FORUM RULES!!!

    BEGIN!


    PolarBore:
    Fuck the rules! You're about to get mauled on by this bear
    You're a Terrible Joke, anyone who follows you should grow a pear!
    You're a cunt! I don't care about you at all! Give my mod dick a bite!
    Drop rhymes on you like a hammer, even though you didn't start this fight!
    I rule, rules! I don't give a duck about you!
    I'm scoring goals all day, what the hell do you do?
    There are rules everyone must follow, but that doesn't go for the mods
    I hate you more than I hate Batman Heisen and Batman vs Holmes! I'm a forum God!


    The Forum Rules:
    I'm about to give you a review like your ERBParodies
    You're a shitty mod, how can you enforce me if you don't follow me?
    A little basement dweller from Brazil on the internet all day
    Don't you know that it's a 7 point infraction for being gay?
    You should know about that number, you know, 7-1
    When you lost that game, I'm sure it wasn't fun
    There are almost 100 ways to beat you, you're out of luck
    Always spamming the chat and calling Umbreon a duck!


    Dion:
    Hey, it's Dion, every member around here loves my ass, even the trolls
    Gonna kill this joke like Joker, edit its face into a bloody pulp like a poll
    I made you, I can break you! Who's going to infract me?
    Not Rob, he's over in the land of inactivity
    NicePeter will never visit us, and I know why
    It's because you're useless, nobody ever follows you, guy!
    O Canada! Our home and native land!
    O ERBoH! The Website I command.


    The Forum Rules:
    What a bad verse, like everything your country produces
    From Dion to Bieber, they're all shitty in music!
    You're the reason why this forum's dying, banning everyone on the site
    Shouldn't have wasted your time giving Wumbo your banhammer in the night
    And sitting around watching anime all day
    Making that ugly ass face
    It's time for the final line, this'll be a boom
    You played Gandalf in Polar's battle, fitting since you love riding his broom


    WHO WON?
    WHO’S NEXT?
    YOU DECIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    EPI-EPI-EP-EP-EP-EPIC FAP BATTLES OF MYSTERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ...This is actually pretty good.
    hey

  7. #187
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers - a lot of people (Sparts, Lohy, Sam, Me, other people) INCLUDING SPECIAL GUEST TOP-HATTINGTON.

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/XGBqKoM.png


    Spoiler: 

    EPIC JOKES OF MEH
    BATMAN HEISENBERG AND MAGIC!!!!!
    VERSUS
    ADONIS AND THAT DAD FROM RUUUUUUDE
    BEGIN


    Batman Heisenberg and Magic! -

    Batman Heisenberg: It’s time for a battle of peace vs war
    Actually, more like peace vs whore!!!!
    They call you Flareon because you’re always flaming
    Now let me pass the mic to my band that’s Canadian!
    Magic!: Don’t Kill the Magic!
    Because we value our life and shit, and we’d rather not die
    And if you be rude it’ll make us cry
    And maybe we’ll make a weak reggae song out of you cuz’ I’m just that kind of guy.
    Eric Cartman: lol your butthole’s on fire dude
    why are you such a big fat jew
    Captain America: Son, you best not mess with me, son!
    You’re the father of flaming, but I’m your daddy, son!
    Magic!: No one even knows you, I gained your same fame from home!
    I didn’t just Vermount your daughter, I also gave your wife a bone!
    Why you gotta be such a JEEWWeWeWeW??
    You dipshit, I put on my best suit for you!!!!
    Nicholas Cage: there’s a map on the back of the president’s dong
    My name is Nicholas Cage, oh wait I spelled that wrong
    Magic!: Are you a woman or are you a bro?
    Say yes, say yes ‘cause I need to know


    Adonis and Dad -

    Adonis: You’re just mad that you got CHECKYOURPRIVILEGED and eliminated from this forum first
    Also the fact that when it comes to stupid fucking casuals, your the worst
    ill squidward tennis YOUR balls, whatever that means
    Ill beat you up with a chairleg because you’re the biggest jew I’VE EVER SEEENENENE
    Dad: No my daughter doesn’t like cod reggae you hippie bitch
    And just like cod your whole damn genre is overfished!
    Woah ho ho it’s Magic! you knoooooow
    Never believe they’d fuck gooooats
    Adonis: But they do fuck goats oooooooooooo
    They wrote a song for Chris Brown and that guy sucks OOOOOOOOOOO
    Call me a hippocrate but I don’t support domestic violence man
    your missing the point here YOUR FAT, MAN!!!1
    Dad: I’m an old-fashioned man I dont have time for this junior
    dont touch my girl and dont touch her pooner
    you call that your best suit? pretty good for a SL0B!!
    you wanna marry my daughter well you can gobble my knob


    Batman Heisenberg and Magic! -

    *Batman Heisenberg puts on sunglasses*
    *Batman Heisenberg puts on a gold chain*
    *Beat changes to dubstep*
    Why u gotta be so rude?


    Adonis and Dad -

    Because fak u
    Shit, what rhymes with fak u? Umm… Kerfuffle.


    Magic! -

    Why i gotta be with this kid
    Why this dad gotta have such nice eyes
    Why i gotta question my sexuality
    Im gonna marry him anyways


    Dad -

    Mmm baby awright
    I’ll be your family
    *dad reveals his hairy chest*

    *Magic! and Dad start making out and gettin freaky and run off to honeymoon in Cancun*


    Adonis -

    My best friend has betrayed me ;-;
    Batman Heisenberg? More like Fatman Suckhispee


    Batman Heisenberg -

    Adonis? More like Adon-ass
    God of Chairlegs? More like God of Mass http://i.gyazo.com/94f8b9a330e26e28c6183961a3a70551.gif


    Adonis -

    Batman Heisenberg? More like Fatman Likes-guysenberg.
    Captain America? More like Faptain America.
    Nicholas Cage? More like *Nicolas Cage
    Eric Cartman? More like Eric Shartman


    Batman Heisenberg -

    Adonis? More like Alone-is
    Adonis? More like Adon-piss.
    Adonis? More like Adumbass.
    Adonis? More like A-DON’T-is

    *Bono interrupts by uploading his free album onto everyone’s iPhones*


    Bono -

    The name is Bono and I was born-o to beat you
    Bono going solo fook U2 and fook you too
    I coom from Ireland and my penis is Dublin
    Irish pun mutterfookers you better start runnin
    Adonis and BH getting band, I’m in one
    got my orange shades on cuz fook the sun
    I named my guitar guy The Edge cuz we’re so edgy
    Batman Heisenberg? your name should be Reggie
    And Adonis I’ll give away ur net worth to casuals research
    they’re always after me lucky charms but i coom in 1st
    top o’ the potatoes to ya listen to my songs too
    *irish noises* fook yer forum *irish noises*


    Adonis -

    Bono? More like BONER!
    Bono? More like Bo-NO!
    Batman Heisenberg? More like stupid fucking casual
    BH? More like Bitch Hore


    Batman Heisenberg -

    Bono? More like NON-o!
    Bono? More like Sonny Bono
    Go ski into a tree
    Adonis? More like not-Adonis because you’re not hawt.
    I forget how to rhyme a lot.


    Blood On The Dance Floor -

    Well, I checked my privilege and I don’t think I should be on this site
    But we’ll show you our star power if you want to pick a fight!
    That one kid: woo.
    Blood On The Dance Floor: FUCK ALL THIS FAME YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK PEACE! ;-;
    FLIP MY MIDDLE FINGER UP BECAUSE YOU DON’T OWN ME!
    We’re blood on the dance floor and we want it from your ears!
    If you’re not turned on by our airhumping then you’re a fucking queer!
    Here’s a bag of dicks no one gives a shit
    That one kid: but I do ;-;
    Blood On The Dance Floor: I want to fuck you hard I want to feel you- LYRICALLY!
    also dis forum suks y cant we post dildos?
    To all of y’all haters out there... Fuck you!
    That one kid: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH
    Blood On The Dance Floor: And to Batman Heisenberg and Adonis, you guys may or may not be JEWS!
    That one kid: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH
    Blood On The Dance Floor: If you’re not a groupie you can get the fuck out.
    That one kid: Can I be a groupie then?
    Blood On The Dance Floor: Sure you piece of shit =D
    We need to make a shitty acoustic guitar song, CYA IN A BIT!
    … That literally took 2 seconds.


    Adonis -

    Blood On The Dance Floor? More like Mud On The Dance Floor
    Blood On The Dance Floor? More like stupid fuckin casuals


    Batman Heisenberg -

    BOTDF? More like Big Old Turd Dick Fuckers
    BOTDF? More like Bigger Old Turd Dick Fuckers


    Blood On The Dance Floor -

    Adonis? More like pizza shit.
    Batman Heisenberg? More like guy that sucks.

    *BH lights BOTDF’s collective butthole on fire*
    *BOTDF starts to die*
    *Bono sees*


    Bono -
    Damn tat shit is bad
    I should help cause that would be rad

    *Bono takes off his shades to reveal another pair of shades underneath*
    *The first shades generate a second Bono*


    Blood On the Dance Floor -

    Bono we need you
    Second Bono we need u2

    *The 2 Bonos grab BOTDF by the hands and they begin to levitate and spin around rapidly as the background gets really trippy and shit*
    *going fast*
    Kabloozle
    *it is complete*


    Bono On the Dance Floor -
    It’s a beautiful day
    To tell everyone that they’re GAY
    We’re gonna rattle and hum your GIRL
    We may be different but we’re BeautiFURL…
    Call us the Joshua Tree branches ‘cause we’re hanging with your girl.
    Also I think we’re about to get infracted for **** jokes.
    BH, Adonis, U2 can go suck each other’s dick-


    Batman Heisenberg -

    Please don’t tell me to suck his dick. I was bullied in school when I was younger and I don’t like being insulted.
    Shit what rhymes with insulted? Ummm… Kerfuffle.

    Adonis -

    Bono On the Dance Floor? More like Boner On the Dance Floor.
    *drops mic*



    well

    ok.

    yeah.

    That happened.

    There you have it folks.

    HA! The End.

    terrible joke battles of yeah

    Bono: fook yer forum

    BOTDF: If killing wasn’t illegal I’d shoot you in the head





    soooooooooooooooooooooo

    How about dem Jets?

    well

    ok.

    yeah.

    That happened.

    There you have it folks.

    HA! The End.



    wait are we done now?

    No.

    Bono: I’m Bono
    Second Bono: Fook yer forum

    Random Cloud: But I have no solid body ;-;

    Cloud from Adonis’s avatar: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    Okay

    That’s it I guess

    Bye everybody
    Last edited by Poles; 09-12-2014 at 09:03 PM.

  8. #188
    BrineBlade's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    ...I'm gonna make this vocal
    Spoiler: 

  9. #189
    Spars's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    The return of me to writing TJB's woo.


    Spoiler: 






    Thanks peeps <3333

  10. #190
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    So, as the vocaroo links recently expired, I figured I'd jsut try my luck with YouTube with Thicke vs Al and Beard vs Science.

    http://youtu.be/zikuPSWbW2g Fat Al vs Thicke

    Will add the other one when I'm home later.

    Boom http://youtu.be/PA-_k0Hk-eU
    Last edited by GonadTheNomad; 10-01-2014 at 03:09 PM. Reason: copyright shit
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

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