View Poll Results: Who won?

Voters
7. You may not vote on this poll
  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
Page 25 of 40 FirstFirst ... 15232425262735 ... LastLast
Results 241 to 250 of 396

Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #241
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Know Your Role Boulevard
    Posts
    6,813
    Blog Entries
    48
    We're back
    We spent all 6 months we were gone working on this

    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/97f286af22d9bb89...b2f3ecee96.png
    Writers -
    Me
    Sam
    Turtl
    Log

    Spoiler: 

    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Fuck it letís make it the season finale this seasonís been going two years
    Bruce Banner and Bruce Jenner
    vs
    The Hulk and Caitlyn Jenner
    vs
    Bruce Jenner and The Hulk
    vs
    Bruce Banner and Caitlyn Jenner
    begin

    Bruce Banner:
    Iím a busy man, Wheaties, Iíll make this quick
    I drop science, I drop mathematics. You dropped your dick.
    Bruce Jenner:
    Dude thatís not PC, itís Linux, cause itís bad.
    Bruce Banner:
    Itís TJB, donít interrupt me, cause Iíll fucking go mad.
    Weíre both Bruces here, so letís give them verbal bruises
    Bruce Jenner:
    Yeah cause they suck more than the Jewses

    The Hulk:
    AAAAAAAAAAAAARH HARAHRAAAAAAAAAA
    Caitlyn Jenner:
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Ted Cruz 2016)
    The Hulk
    *drops mic*
    Caitlyn Jenner:
    Alright now letís actually rap, and cut down these fags
    The Hulk:
    ARRAHGGHH ARHAHGHGHHGHH

    Polar:
    Yeah probably

    Turtle:
    You canít just say that in the middle of the battle Polar

    *Caitlyn Jenner crashes into both of them with her caaaaaaaaaaaaaaar*

    Bruce Jenner:
    Iíll jump so high you can see deez nuts
    The Hulk:
    AHAHJAKALKAsalk
    Bruce Jenner:
    Can you, at least TRY to rap, man?
    The Hulk:
    BLARGH HASHADARGH
    Bruce Jenner:
    *shrug*

    Bruce Banner:
    I'm smart, but it doesn't take smarts to know you smell!
    Caitlyn Jenner:
    Did you know I vote Ted Cruz
    Bruce Banner:
    Why?
    Caitlyn Jenner:
    Idk lel

    Dr. Jekyll:
    Yo Iím not French but Je Kill u
    Sam is a stupid freakin jew
    Iím sick so my rhymes are a doctor
    I met your mom last night and guess what I cocked her
    Fun fact: my name is actually pronounced jee-kull
    So the first joke I made didnít make any sense. Suck my fucking dick-kull
    You can run but you canít Hyde
    Iíll transform with some trans pride
    Gonna turn into Mr Hyde
    In a few lines
    You better prepare
    And you better beware
    *Jekyll just stands there*

    Announcer: Öisnít he supposed to turn into mr hy-
    *Caitlyn Jenner crashes into announcer with her caaaaaaaaaaaaaar*


  2. #242
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Land of Nod
    Posts
    24,613
    Blog Entries
    53
    Ted Cruz won

    Awesome battle mens

    I demand to help write the next one
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  3. #243
    Turtlesauce's Avatar 2016 Writer of the Year
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Romania
    Posts
    5,368
    Blog Entries
    61
    9/10 with rice
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I will delete this forum.

  4. #244
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    WA, USA
    Posts
    4,916
    Blog Entries
    161
    The person who goes by different names won.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  5. #245
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    Laikano Tribe, Northern Territories
    Posts
    1,763
    Blog Entries
    16
    I love these. There must be more!

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  6. #246
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    That's none of your business!
    Posts
    3,724
    Bravo. I'd rate it a perfect 7/11

  7. #247
    Hound's Avatar Tao of Blue
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    East Coast.
    Posts
    251
    Blog Entries
    3
    Ha lmao. Polar interupting was so funny
    Spoiler: 





  8. #248
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Know Your Role Boulevard
    Posts
    6,813
    Blog Entries
    48
    Let's call this one a BONUS BATTLE even though seasons are pointless and they really don't mean anything

    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/f7c7daeb1e720c2c...d79096768c.png
    Writers -
    Sam
    Log
    Poler
    SPECIAL GUEST SANICATTHEDISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible Joke Battles of Meh.
    SanicAtTheDisco
    Versus
    Panic! At The Disco
    Begin

    SanicAtTheDisco:
    I’ll stab a pencil through Brendan’s Urie-thra
    I’ll shoot you like Harambe, uh
    Song of the Day 101 will be Death of a Bachelor
    I don’t know if you’re the bachelor that song title is referring to, but I assume you are because most Panic! songs are at least partially autobiographical, I think. Oh shoot I need to write something that rhymes with Bachelor before this line ends or Sam will deduct points for not rhyming. Ummmm cat burgular
    I’ll burn down your disco and then run a mile
    Laying you down easy, that’s kitchen tile
    You did a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody but it probably wasn’t as good as the original
    I misspelled burglar earlier because I’m not as good at spelling on digital… devices
    Your songs are bad, but I would still rank them a lot higher than Blood on the Dance Floor
    If I ranked Fueled by Ramen artists, you’d definitely come under fun., Twenty One Pilots, and Paramore,
    so at most you’d be four
    But actually you’d also come under Young the Giant so you’d at most be lower than four
    You chump, I’ll crash into you with my slightly older friend who has his driver’s license’s car
    I’ll get you right into a noose like Keemstar


    Panic! At the Disco:
    I chime in with a “haven’t you people ever heard of
    Not sucking, because it’s evident that you haven’t bruh”
    You’re a whore like the poor groom’s bride
    I’ll eat you aliveeeeeeeeee
    My rhymes are so sick they’ll give you a Fever You Can’t Sweat Out
    The only difference between rapping against me and suicide is press coverage you lout
    Because I’m sure this will probably get a lot of press coverage
    Or maybe it won’t idk
    Man your raps are worse than Nicotine
    What we ought to do is bring back the guillotine
    Tonight we are Victorious
    Well really just me but there used to be more of us
    Just to let you know your raps like seriously blow
    But beating you is a hell of a feeling though
    Don’t panic Sanic but you’re about to crash
    I’ll crush your not British nuts until they’re bangers and mash
    Disco called us an alright band in Paul Walker vs Dicks
    Well I guess they called me an alright band. Suck my dicks
    You’re selfish for putting yourself in a TJB
    You’re a pirate ya even stole this name from me
    I’m a pop rock band that’ll make you explode like pop rocks
    I was with your mom last night and her ass is what I focks
    Put that Donkey Kong gif back in your sig
    I’m gonna snap snap snap you like a twig
    I sing my Ballad of Mona Lisa for you because you’re FAKE
    Because Mona Lisa is a painting and not a real person… rake.
    And just like Mona Lisa let me paint you a picture son
    Portrait of a character whose first game was in 1991
    I have no way of knowing that’s true let me google it (googles) AYYYYYY I WAS RIGHT
    Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off and your mom took hers off with me last night
    Don’t you see I’m the narrator and this is just the prologue
    A prologue for my ultimate rap… which will be delivered by Log

    Log:
    … bloop.

    Panic! At the Disco:
    Good job.

    Blood On the Dancefloor:
    It’s literally modern slavery to have to listen to your raps
    Congrats here’s a bag of dicks no one gives a crap
    You see we said crap instead of shit because crap rhymes with rap
    We’re so big you could probably find us on a map
    Our raps are sweet like ice cream
    Meanwhile Sanic’s the worst rapper WE’VE EVER SEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
    And there will be Panic! At the Disco when there’s Blood on the Dancefloor
    Because that’s a pretty natural human reaction to seeing blood on the dancefloor
    Song of the Day? More like Song of the ghey
    (ERB Team: hey man that’s offensive) oh sorray
    You’re attractive, little bitch, you’re beautiful
    Your bitchiness, little bitch, it broke my heart
    We’re hitting you with #ShotsFired like that one kid from that Rise and Shine music vid
    So take a knife to the clit kid
    We’ll crash into you with that RV from the Bewitched music video
    That’s not even ours but fuck it we’re doing it anyway bro
    We’ll hypnotize you with a little sexting
    And then we’ll fuck you hard and feel you deep but that’s not gay at all honestly
    You can’t judge me by my cover
    It’s not what you see but what makes you my lover
    Also we really want to stop bullying
    Unless it’s up against you because you suck, fuck what rhymes with bullying

    SanicAtTheDisco:
    Okay, seriously? I’m not a person to cuss but that was shit.
    I listen to your raps and your songs and think “What is this shit?”
    I mean, Scream for my Ice Cream was absolute shit
    If I had to compare your stuff with one other thing in the world, it would be shit
    The ice cream-to-sex metaphor wasn’t even well thought out
    I heard it before in a 50 Cent song I listened to at my house
    Although technically I first heard that song in a Weird Al polka medley but that’s arguing semantics
    You’re about to get some music criticism from Sanic
    If you want to do an extended metaphor like that, you have to actually GO ALL THE WAY and not just keep saying the same stuff over and over like “oh yeah you scream for my ice cream if you know what I mean ” because otherwise it feels like you had a sort of half-baked idea for a song and you didn’t feel like putting any more effort into writing the lyrics. The lines that actually have anything to do with the metaphor - and trust me, there aren’t many - are just the absolute bare-basic thing you can do to make eating ice cream sound like sex. At least try to go for something creative with those. You didn’t even go for the obvious joke on putting nuts in your ice cream, I mean, come on. And then eventually there comes a point where you stop even saying stuff about the ice cream and you just revert to generic sex lyrics. I mean, it’s abysmal. Did you really think this song would be a hit?
    You band is shit

    Blood on the Dancefloor:
    You’re just a hater that doesn’t recognize our talent
    Bitch

    Austin Powers:
    Yeah to be honest you are a bit rapey
    I mean I like to swing but Dr. No means no baby

    Unicorns Killed My Girlfriend:
    *cries over the fact that unicorns killed his girlfriend*

    The “That’s So Lame” Chick from Date A Live:
    That’s so lame
    *drops mic*

    Representative Adam Kinzinger from Illinois’ 16th Congressional District:
    Obama’s bad

    Representative Dutch Ruppersberger from Maryland’s 2nd Congressional District:
    Obama’s good

    That One Cabbage Salesman from Avatar:
    MY CABBAGES

    Announcer:
    Anyone else coming?
    Man what is TJB becoming
    There’s no order in these things anymore
    I remember when it was just a spam topic by PolarBore
    With Eminem and Ghost Rider and sex jokes
    Now it’s memes and whatnot and random folks
    TJB needs to end now I mean seriously
    Every time I have to announce I do it furiously
    Because we keep doing this shit after 3 years
    It really grinds my gears
    And-
    *Caitlyn Jenner crashes into announcer with her car*

  9. #249
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    WA, USA
    Posts
    4,916
    Blog Entries
    161
    "You must spread reputation around before giving it to PolarBore again"
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  10. #250
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Maryland, United States
    Posts
    7,162
    Blog Entries
    32
    Really proud of the 3 lines I wrote

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •