View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #251
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    I absolutely love these. I would love to get a shot at one of these sometime too.

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  2. #252
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    This battle really inspired me to re-add my DK gif to my sig.

    Especially because I'm pretty sure they only added that line to the rap so I'd see it while I was working on my part


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

  3. #253
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Let's get Season 7 started! Yup we're skipping season 6 screw season 6

    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/229e932aedfe4c96...4b2dd8641f.png
    Writers -
    SanicAtTheDisco
    Polar
    Log

    Spoiler: 

    Terrible!
    Joke!
    Battles!
    Of!
    meh.
    Light Yagami that anime death note guy yknow
    versus
    Greg Heffley that diary of a wimpy kid kid yknow
    BEGIN

    Light Yagami:
    Hey kid, thatís a nice notebook you have there
    You fucking kid you probably donít have any pubic hair
    Iíll call your verse diary-uh cuz it sounds like a lot of crap
    Even though I havenít actually heard your verse yet, but itíll probably be a bad rap
    Iíll eat you aliveeeeeeeeeeee like a potato chip
    Do you know what else was in an anime? Fucking Mudkip
    Yo kid I killed almost 100 people you canít beat me bitch
    And by almost 100 I mean way more than 100 people bitch
    When I write your name in my notebook youíll probably die
    When you write my name in your notebook itíll be ďI got beat by this guyĒ
    Yo kid why are you so Mello when youíre Near defeat?
    See those are puns based off of other characters from my show manÖ tweet.

    Greg Heffley:
    Iím a best seller entertaining kids of every age
    Both of our books are about guys who write in a page
    Each of us has a love for girls and similar hair
    You call yourself Light? Youíre dark and edgy or some shit like thatÖ air
    Whatís up with your hair? Youíre looking like a relatively normal animoo dude
    Mang your manga books are lame Iím considered cool
    Now Iím in need of a good laugh so Iíll allow you to take back this mic
    Ö Alright.

    Light Yagami:
    Your movie got 53% on Rotten Tomatoes
    And Iím 53% through kicking your ass (oohs)
    Thatís a rough percentage though; I donít know how many more lines weíll have
    But like, itís probably roughly a bit more than halfÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ.. Over
    My show is #1 most popular on MyAnimeList kid
    You probably donít go on MyAnimeList, kid
    Youíre about to see the Light in this fight
    Ö Alright.
    Yo you must be L, because youíre a LOSER
    I also killed actual L, because heís a LOSER
    Shit that might be a spoiler oops
    Ö bloop.

    Greg Heffley:
    HEHEHEHE, well what did I say, kid?
    It appears I won this battle so it's best you just exit
    I oughtta stuff you in my backpackÖÖÖ.
    ÖÖÖ.It appearsÖ you ain't ever going to come back
    Damn I didnít even need to change any of those lines
    But Iím gonna keep going because I need some original rhymes
    Because if I donít, itíll be a bit unfair that you got so many
    Itíll be like you got all of these disses and I barely got any
    And now Iím gonna diss you
    That hairstyle.. makes you look like a jew!
    Wait we have similar hair oops
    Ö bloop.

    Light Yagami:
    Hey kid your nameís Greg Heffley right? Iíll write it down with style
    Iíll lay you down easy, thatís kitchen tile.
    *Greg Heffley literally has a heart attack and dies*
    Thereís no writer who can defeat Kira!
    ...

    Who won?
    Whoís next?
    Terrible joke battles of myeh

    fun fact: first 1v1 with no other rappers to be written by multiple people since dubstep vs washington
    and like the 6th 1v1 with no other rappers overall
    dam

  4. #254
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    So we totally have more royales than ERBP then?
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  5. #255
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by GonadTheNomad View Post
    So we totally have more royales than ERBP then?
    Yeah probably

  6. #256
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    you forgot near

  7. #257
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/8b1459d494868e30...2cd9832549.jpg
    Writers -
    Log
    Polar
    Sanic
    Gonad

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Roanld Reagan
    vs
    Qin Shi Huang or whatever
    Begin

    Qin Shi Huang:
    Yo Reagan you donít care about poor people
    By the way I care even less about poor people
    Yo Reagan you didnít handle the AIDs crisis well
    Yo Reagan Iíd probably just happily let the gays die man
    Yo Reagan you stereotyped black people
    Yo Reagan I donít even know what a black person is
    Yo Reagan your policies caused a massive deficit in government spending
    Iím not even sure deficits were a thing that existed at my time
    Yo Reagan you donít care about the environment at all
    I mean I donít either but fuck you because youíre Reagan and you suck
    Yo Reagan you said fascism was the basis of the New Deal
    Yo Reagan Iím basically an actual fascist before that was cool
    Yo Reagan you hate ďgovernment handoutsĒ
    Well I donít give my people anything because fuck them I donít work for them
    ďYo r
    Just ďYo r
    Yo Reagan you gave more power to the elites
    Under me the power was literally all to one elite, being me bitch
    Yo Reagan, youíre a pirate, if my name had an RR in it you wouldíve stolen my RR
    Iíll crash into you with my car car
    Yo Reagan you won literally every state but Minnesota in 1984
    I wouldnít have had a democratic election in the first place so fuck you
    Cock block more Scots than Hadrianís wall
    Because my wall was great and that one wasnít

    Ronald Reagan:
    Bitch I tore down that wall like the Kool Aid man, oh yeah
    Well I didnít actually tear it down but I helped make it happen probably yeah
    Iím the leader of the free world, youíre not a democratically elected leader and thatís bad
    Youíre a big dick-tator so get rekt lad
    Suck my Qin Shi Wang
    Iím pronouncing it like that but idk if itís like that mang
    I acted in movies with grace and style
    Laying you down easy thatís kitchen tile
    The Secret Service calls me rawhide
    So why donít you go back to your little country almost the size of ĎMurica and hide
    This is a rap rollercoaster, youíre not even white enough to ride
    Alright
    China is full of commies, so youíre a fucking commy
    Did I mention I hate fucking commies? Because I really hate fucking commies
    Like Sam whoís a jew and a fucking commy
    Because he liked Bernie and if I was still alive Iíd call him a fucking commy

    Qin Shi Huang:
    Yo Reagan you massively increased the USí debt
    Yo Reagan Iím not even sure what that means
    Yo Reagan you accidentally used an anti-patriotic Springsteen song as a patriotic anthem
    Yo Reagan Bruce Springsteen was not even a thing that existed when I was alive
    Iím also not sure what rock music is, or what patriotism is
    I also donít know what the fuck America is
    Iím not even sure what rapping is
    But yo reagan with your raps itís clear you donít either
    Hereís my last line dickhead
    I got 4 words for ya: Iím glad Reagan dead

    Ronald Reagan:
    Call me Ronald McDonald cause Iím about to serve ya
    Also call me Donald cause Iíll build a wall around ya
    Also call me Ronald Edward Frederick Kimera Muwenda Mutebi II cuz Iím as powerful as the reigning Kabaka of the Kingdom of Buganda
    Also call me Ron Paul because Iím a politician in the USA and also Republican-da
    And call me Ronald Wayne because Iím a hardworking American and I like apples too
    Also call me Ronnie Wood because my raps are so good Iíve got my own album to do
    Call me Ronaldo because I really like football
    Oh wait thatís probably not the football they were talking about those fucking Mexicans
    We should build a wall to keep those fucking Mexicans out
    Theyíll bring in weird diseases, like, um, fucking Gout

    Donald Trump:
    Ohai

    Ronald Reagan:
    No fak u

    Donald Trump:
    :c

    Hadrian:
    Hadrian was Roman emperor from 117 to 138
    Hadrian is known for building Hadrian's Wall, itís great
    Which marked the northern limit of Britannia.
    He also rebuilt the Pantheon and constructed the Temple of Venus and Roma.
    Philhellene in most of his tastes, he is considered by some to have been a humanist,
    And he is regarded as one of the Five Good Emperors thereís only 5 I guess.
    Hadrian was born Publius Aelius Hadrianus
    Lol I said anus
    It was into a Hispano-Romano family like a fucking Mexican
    Most think he was born in Italica but we donít know where the fuck he actually was born man
    Most people agree he was born to a family with century old roots in Hispania
    His predecessor was his dadís cousin and thatís insane yeah
    Trajan did not name an heir
    But his wife said he said it was Hadrian right before he died so there
    Hadrian was apparently friends with Trajanís wife and his friend
    So that may or may not be the only reason he became emperor in the end
    During his reign he traveled pretty much everywhere in the empire yo
    He especially liked Greece and wanted to make Athens the cultural capital of Rome yo
    He ordered the construction of many opulent temples in the city
    He used his relationship with his Greek babe Antinous to underline his philhellenism (and her titties)
    Wait Antinous was a guy? Crap my rhyme didnít work then
    I guess we should call him Gaydrian
    I wouldíve never guessed that he dated a man
    Welp, letís get to reading Wikipedia again
    He spent a lot of time with the military which may or may not have involved more sex
    Oh the page says he even dined and slept among the soldiers Ö kek
    He ordered military training to be harder
    He even falsely reported attacks to keep Ďem harder ( ͡į ͜ʖ ͡į)
    After being throned he withdrew from Mesopotamia and Armenia
    And very nearly almost abandoned Dacia
    Late in his reign he suppressed the Bar Kokhba revolt in Judaea
    Renaming the province Syria Palaestina.
    In 136 an ailing Hadrian adopted Lucius Aelius as his heir,
    But the latter died suddenly two years later.
    In 138 Hadrian resolved to adopt Antoninus Pius
    If he would in turn adopt Marcus Aurelius and Aelius's son Lucius Verus
    As his own eventual successors. Antoninus agreed,
    And soon afterward Hadrian died at Baiae. :c

    Qin Shi Huang:
    Yo Hadrian
    Get it like yo adrian
    From Rocky. Youíre so cocky
    Iíll elbow you like the Rock, see
    I got the best wall thatís why itís called great
    Iíll go home with your hot babe
    Oh crap he was a guy Iím not gay I swear
    Uhhhhhh yo hadrian whatís up with your hair
    I donít know if you noticed but Iím rhyming more
    I did a bit of research on rapping you whore
    Yo Hadrian you got some walls
    But you ainít got no balls
    Yo Hadrian get rekt kid
    I lived before you so that makes you a kid
    You got some weird ass hair
    And Lucius Aelius died as your heir
    Thatís sad he was probably young let me look it up
    Yeah he was only 37 fuck
    But yeah Iím gonna win
    You can call me Qin
    Because thatís at the beginning of my name mayn
    Yo Hadriaynnnn

    Pink Floyd:
    *2 minutes of instrumental*
    SO YA
    THOUGHT YA
    MIGHT LIKE TO
    GO TO THE SHOW
    TO FEEL THAT WARM THRILL OF CONFUSION
    THAT SPACE CADET GLOW
    IíVE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU SUNSHINE
    SAM HAS NO CLASS SO WE LYNCHED HIS ASS
    AND THEY SENT US ALONG AS THIRD PARTY RAPPERS
    WEíRE GONNA FIND OUT WHY YOU FOLKS ARE SUCH CRAPPERSSSS
    ARE THERE ANY QUEERS IN THE THEATER TONIGHT
    ALL OF YOU ARE SO GET UP AGAINST THE WALL
    (GAINST. THE. WALL.)
    YAíLL DONíT LOOK RIGHT TO ME
    SO GET UP AGAINST THE WALL
    (GAINST. THE. WALL.)
    THAT ONE LOOKS JEWISH
    THE HAIRSTYLE MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A JEW
    WHO LET ALL OF THIS RIFFRAFF INTO THE ROOM
    ALL OF YOU SUCK
    YOU SUCK A LOT
    IF I HAD MY WAYYYYYY
    IíD HAVE ALL OF YOU SHOT
    *1 minute of instrumental*

    An Actual Wall:
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    ...

    Kool Aid Man:
    *Breaks through actual wall*
    OH YEAH

    Hoo wahn
    Hooís next
    Probably
    terrible job battels of myeh

  8. #258
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    Yo Polar that's a pretty good battle
    Yo Polar that's probably because I wrote for a sizable portion of this battle

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  9. #259
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    I like how Hadrian went from being a random character I suggested to the longest verse.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  10. #260
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    I think this might be the best thing my name has ever been associated with.

    Although most of the best parts were written by other people.

    But I was the one who linked to Hadrian's Wikipedia article so yay.


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

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