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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #261
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    Gotta give you another bravo for this one!

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  2. #262
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore* View Post
    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/8b1459d494868e30...2cd9832549.jpg
    Writers -
    Log
    Polar
    Sanic
    Gonad

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Roanld Reagan
    vs
    Qin Shi Huang or whatever
    Begin

    Qin Shi Huang:
    Yo Reagan you donít care about poor people
    By the way I care even less about poor people
    Yo Reagan you didnít handle the AIDs crisis well
    Yo Reagan Iíd probably just happily let the gays die man
    Yo Reagan you stereotyped black people
    Yo Reagan I donít even know what a black person is
    Yo Reagan your policies caused a massive deficit in government spending
    Iím not even sure deficits were a thing that existed at my time
    Yo Reagan you donít care about the environment at all
    I mean I donít either but fuck you because youíre Reagan and you suck
    Yo Reagan you said fascism was the basis of the New Deal
    Yo Reagan Iím basically an actual fascist before that was cool
    Yo Reagan you hate ďgovernment handoutsĒ
    Well I donít give my people anything because fuck them I donít work for them
    ďYo r
    Just ďYo r
    Yo Reagan you gave more power to the elites
    Under me the power was literally all to one elite, being me bitch
    Yo Reagan, youíre a pirate, if my name had an RR in it you wouldíve stolen my RR
    Iíll crash into you with my car car
    Yo Reagan you won literally every state but Minnesota in 1984
    I wouldnít have had a democratic election in the first place so fuck you
    Cock block more Scots than Hadrianís wall
    Because my wall was great and that one wasnít

    Ronald Reagan:
    Bitch I tore down that wall like the Kool Aid man, oh yeah
    Well I didnít actually tear it down but I helped make it happen probably yeah
    Iím the leader of the free world, youíre not a democratically elected leader and thatís bad
    Youíre a big dick-tator so get rekt lad
    Suck my Qin Shi Wang
    Iím pronouncing it like that but idk if itís like that mang
    I acted in movies with grace and style
    Laying you down easy thatís kitchen tile
    The Secret Service calls me rawhide
    So why donít you go back to your little country almost the size of ĎMurica and hide
    This is a rap rollercoaster, youíre not even white enough to ride
    Alright
    China is full of commies, so youíre a fucking commy
    Did I mention I hate fucking commies? Because I really hate fucking commies
    Like Sam whoís a jew and a fucking commy
    Because he liked Bernie and if I was still alive Iíd call him a fucking commy

    Qin Shi Huang:
    Yo Reagan you massively increased the USí debt
    Yo Reagan Iím not even sure what that means
    Yo Reagan you accidentally used an anti-patriotic Springsteen song as a patriotic anthem
    Yo Reagan Bruce Springsteen was not even a thing that existed when I was alive
    Iím also not sure what rock music is, or what patriotism is
    I also donít know what the fuck America is
    Iím not even sure what rapping is
    But yo reagan with your raps itís clear you donít either
    Hereís my last line dickhead
    I got 4 words for ya: Iím glad Reagan dead

    Ronald Reagan:
    Call me Ronald McDonald cause Iím about to serve ya
    Also call me Donald cause Iíll build a wall around ya
    Also call me Ronald Edward Frederick Kimera Muwenda Mutebi II cuz Iím as powerful as the reigning Kabaka of the Kingdom of Buganda
    Also call me Ron Paul because Iím a politician in the USA and also Republican-da
    And call me Ronald Wayne because Iím a hardworking American and I like apples too
    Also call me Ronnie Wood because my raps are so good Iíve got my own album to do
    Call me Ronaldo because I really like football
    Oh wait thatís probably not the football they were talking about those fucking Mexicans
    We should build a wall to keep those fucking Mexicans out
    Theyíll bring in weird diseases, like, um, fucking Gout

    Donald Trump:
    Ohai

    Ronald Reagan:
    No fak u

    Donald Trump:
    :c

    Hadrian:
    Hadrian was Roman emperor from 117 to 138
    Hadrian is known for building Hadrian's Wall, itís great
    Which marked the northern limit of Britannia.
    He also rebuilt the Pantheon and constructed the Temple of Venus and Roma.
    Philhellene in most of his tastes, he is considered by some to have been a humanist,
    And he is regarded as one of the Five Good Emperors thereís only 5 I guess.
    Hadrian was born Publius Aelius Hadrianus
    Lol I said anus
    It was into a Hispano-Romano family like a fucking Mexican
    Most think he was born in Italica but we donít know where the fuck he actually was born man
    Most people agree he was born to a family with century old roots in Hispania
    His predecessor was his dadís cousin and thatís insane yeah
    Trajan did not name an heir
    But his wife said he said it was Hadrian right before he died so there
    Hadrian was apparently friends with Trajanís wife and his friend
    So that may or may not be the only reason he became emperor in the end
    During his reign he traveled pretty much everywhere in the empire yo
    He especially liked Greece and wanted to make Athens the cultural capital of Rome yo
    He ordered the construction of many opulent temples in the city
    He used his relationship with his Greek babe Antinous to underline his philhellenism (and her titties)
    Wait Antinous was a guy? Crap my rhyme didnít work then
    I guess we should call him Gaydrian
    I wouldíve never guessed that he dated a man
    Welp, letís get to reading Wikipedia again
    He spent a lot of time with the military which may or may not have involved more sex
    Oh the page says he even dined and slept among the soldiers Ö kek
    He ordered military training to be harder
    He even falsely reported attacks to keep Ďem harder ( ͡į ͜ʖ ͡į)
    After being throned he withdrew from Mesopotamia and Armenia
    And very nearly almost abandoned Dacia
    Late in his reign he suppressed the Bar Kokhba revolt in Judaea
    Renaming the province Syria Palaestina.
    In 136 an ailing Hadrian adopted Lucius Aelius as his heir,
    But the latter died suddenly two years later.
    In 138 Hadrian resolved to adopt Antoninus Pius
    If he would in turn adopt Marcus Aurelius and Aelius's son Lucius Verus
    As his own eventual successors. Antoninus agreed,
    And soon afterward Hadrian died at Baiae. :c

    Qin Shi Huang:
    Yo Hadrian
    Get it like yo adrian
    From Rocky. Youíre so cocky
    Iíll elbow you like the Rock, see
    I got the best wall thatís why itís called great
    Iíll go home with your hot babe
    Oh crap he was a guy Iím not gay I swear
    Uhhhhhh yo hadrian whatís up with your hair
    I donít know if you noticed but Iím rhyming more
    I did a bit of research on rapping you whore
    Yo Hadrian you got some walls
    But you ainít got no balls
    Yo Hadrian get rekt kid
    I lived before you so that makes you a kid
    You got some weird ass hair
    And Lucius Aelius died as your heir
    Thatís sad he was probably young let me look it up
    Yeah he was only 37 fuck
    But yeah Iím gonna win
    You can call me Qin
    Because thatís at the beginning of my name mayn
    Yo Hadriaynnnn

    Pink Floyd:
    *2 minutes of instrumental*
    SO YA
    THOUGHT YA
    MIGHT LIKE TO
    GO TO THE SHOW
    TO FEEL THAT WARM THRILL OF CONFUSION
    THAT SPACE CADET GLOW
    IíVE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU SUNSHINE
    SAM HAS NO CLASS SO WE LYNCHED HIS ASS
    AND THEY SENT US ALONG AS THIRD PARTY RAPPERS
    WEíRE GONNA FIND OUT WHY YOU FOLKS ARE SUCH CRAPPERSSSS
    ARE THERE ANY QUEERS IN THE THEATER TONIGHT
    ALL OF YOU ARE SO GET UP AGAINST THE WALL
    (GAINST. THE. WALL.)
    YAíLL DONíT LOOK RIGHT TO ME
    SO GET UP AGAINST THE WALL
    (GAINST. THE. WALL.)
    THAT ONE LOOKS JEWISH
    THE HAIRSTYLE MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A JEW
    WHO LET ALL OF THIS RIFFRAFF INTO THE ROOM
    ALL OF YOU SUCK
    YOU SUCK A LOT
    IF I HAD MY WAYYYYYY
    IíD HAVE ALL OF YOU SHOT
    *1 minute of instrumental*

    An Actual Wall:
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    Ö
    ...

    Kool Aid Man:
    *Breaks through actual wall*
    OH YEAH

    Hoo wahn
    Hooís next
    Probably
    terrible job battels of myeh
    For the new page.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  3. #263
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Wow. I'd give you a perfect 7/11 for that one.

  4. #264
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXEj91NamaU video should be ready here when it's done processing

    btw it might have major errors if it does i'll fix it when i get back

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  5. #265
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samilton View Post
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXEj91NamaU video should be ready here when it's done processing

    btw it might have major errors if it does i'll fix it when i get back
    so bootiful

  6. #266
    Lohuydahutt's Avatar Senior Member
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    My flows were so sick as Hadrian oh mah gawd

    Spoiler: 
    My life story:
    Spoiler: 


    Spoiler: 

    I am PolarBore's official Assistant Mangager (again)

  7. #267
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    o lord its bootiful

  8. #268
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Is this the first TJB where every writer has an audio performance?
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  9. #269
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/34028baff91f544e...e684b28dc2.png
    Writers -
    Polar
    Gunnut
    HOLY CRAP UMBREON IS BACK FOR A TJB AFTER 3 LONG YEARS WHOA

    Spoiler: 
    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!
    THE JOKER AND HARLEY QUINN

    Joker:
    ahahahahahaha I'm so INSANE!!!!1
    Let's go over there and put a bullet through their BRAIN

    Harley:
    Yeah probably

    VS

    Man:
    man you doin that is improbable-y

    Woman:
    Yeah because weíre gonna win
    ill run u over with my Harley, Quinn

    AN ACTUAL COUPLE!
    BEGIN!

    Joker and Harley:
    ahahahahahahahaha
    Blah blah blah blah
    Is all we hear from you mangs
    Itís like youíre a bunch of jews, dang
    Weíll criticize you like the critics did to Suicide Squad
    Even though that was the best movie ever dawg
    Why so serious when Iím consensually having anal sex with you
    Feel that fear in your stomach itís just my penis jew

    Actual Couple:
    You ainít even real dudes
    but ur a real douche
    oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
    How does that feel jews
    Weíll bang your mothers, thatís right, both of us
    ill 360 noscope ur ass from the top of the rust
    If it weren't for your psychosis, you'd never have sex
    Yaíll a bunch of psychotics, you really need meds

    Joker:
    Youíll die and cry after facing Harley and me
    Because I cried after Marley died in Marley and me :c
    Iím a mean Joker, not talking about Sam
    Because Sam really sucks man

    Man:
    Iíll burn you like a vat of acid
    Thatís right kid, Iíll break your eyelid
    Youíre fitting for this series because Jared Leto was a Terrible Joker
    I was with your mom last night, and guess what, I CHOKED HER

    Harley:
    I really like pudding itís pretty good
    But donít mess with MAH puddin, understood?
    Yo woman call me Harley Quinn Shi Huang
    Yo woman you can suck my Quinn Shi Wang

    Woman:
    Ur only a psychologist if u take out the logist
    Between Joker and me, my dick is the longest
    You could never kick my ass so kiss my clitoris
    This clown and the Jew that play him got matching noses

    Joker:
    Iím
    The
    JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    Letís put a smile on that face
    What are you? Who are you? Whatís your race?
    I canít tell because youíre just another couple up in this place
    ill steal ur gurl like lex stole 40 cakes

    Man:
    ill fuk u up, joker
    then ill fuk ur gurl with my poker
    cuz she a professional dick choker
    ur more boring than a stock broker
    Fuck these 4 line verses I write like Bram Stoker
    I might even be him nobody knows, you smoker
    I was with your mom last night I stroked Ďer
    Youíre a Joker in the deck, not a poker hand.. Poker...hand of poker?

    Harley:
    You facing us youíre the real suicide squad
    X

    PolarBore:
    Damn I canít think of a rhyme
    Umby my man can you think of a line?

    Umbreon:
    don't you fucking tell me what to do
    ill do ur mom last night ooooo

    Terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible joke battles of mwahahaahahaahahahaaha
    You decide
    Proof: ďI really would like to see sonething like bonnie and clyde vs. Romeo and juliet so i thought of joker and harley quinn vs. Another couple??? Soneone help?Ē - ERB comment
    terrible joke battle? MORE LIKE A PEDOFILE
    Who won

  10. #270
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    So beautifully terrible.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

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