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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #281
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Covers - https://i.gyazo.com/dc44ed01dfaf93ef...43ad83cca9.png
    https://i.gyazo.com/ce291366cefdb256...0ed81b8482.jpg
    Writers -
    Polar
    Sanic
    Log
    Gonad
    nobody else was on rip

    Spoiler: 
    Turble jocks batel of meep
    Person
    Vs
    Person

    Begin

    Person:
    I’m a person that thinks you suck
    Bitch

    Other Person:
    Wow same
    Bitch

    The Third Person:
    The Third Person thinks you both suck
    The Third Person thinks you can both fuck a duck

    Who wahn
    Who’s next
    Idk mang
    Tjb

    Alright so double feature
    Jimmy Hendrix
    Vers
    Jimi Neutron
    Beign

    Jimmy Hendrix:
    I’ll crash into your face with my guitar
    Then I’ll play my CAAAARRR
    I made love with your mom in the sand
    And then play the national annnnnnnnnnthem
    Did this just switch tense mid sentence
    I’m not sure anything rhymes with sentence
    This verse is worth like twelve pence
    The act of forcing me to rhyme something with sentence gives me repentance
    Your face is so ugly it puts me in a manic depression
    I make a lot of money in my profession
    Are You Experienced in rapping probably not
    I’ll electrocute you with my guitar in you piss slot
    Somebody’s house is burning down down down down
    Because of the sick fire I spit you sad clown clown
    Lay you down easy kitchen tile
    Kitchen tile kitchen tile tile
    I made a famous Bob Dylan cover so you better find cover
    I’m coming after your whole family and comin in your mother

    Jimi Neutron:
    You finished??????????
    ...
    ...
    Okay.
    Yo I put my pee pee inside your mum and I gotta blast
    She wasn’t neutral to me putting it in her ass
    I’ll get her in a threesome and call it the Jimmy Timmy Power Hour
    Or would it be the Jimmy Jimi Power Hour because fuck you-r
    My brain is even more larger than your dick
    I was with your mom last night I gave her ass a lick
    You’re about to choke on vomit cuz I spit so sick
    Oops did i just compare my verse to vomit ah shit
    Well anyways you’re a prick
    You’ll lose this battle like your bout with barbiturates

    Hendrix College:
    I’ve had some ugly boys but you’re forgetting the others
    Douglas A. Blackmon and Hayes Carll whoever the fuck those are
    Wait you don’t even have any brothers
    I’m using a unique and intellectual rhyming scheme, therefore I’ll crash into you with my car
    We have 1,348 students enrolled because we’re cool like that
    Your mom probably weighs 1,348 pounds because she’s really fat
    I already dropped the rhyme scheme
    We are going to be pioneers and teach our students with memes
    Yo Jimi Neutron Imma gonna school you bitch
    Your flows are so slow I should call you Sam’s buffering screen on twitch
    We have a student named Sam, probably, and he probably sucks
    I should probably expel him because he’s a cuck
    We’re in Conway, Arkansas it’s a town that exists
    Do you even have a wrist?
    SLIT IT!

    An Actual Neutron:
    All of you guys had ok verses I guess
    But I don’t know mine may or may not be the best
    Jimmy Hendrix, when you claimed that you make a lot of money
    I would have to agree but you’re dead so that’s no longer the case, honey
    I mean, I don’t really care but I’m just pointing that out because objectivity or whatever
    I’m just trying to bring some perspective to this battle, not trying to be clever
    And Jimi Neutron, you claimed your brain was more larger than Jimmy’s dick
    Since you probably haven’t seen Jimmy’s dick, you can’t objectively make that claim you prick
    I really don’t care though, but I’m just saying
    If I was a Super Saiyan I would be just Saiyan

    An Actual Electron:
    Literally everything sucks
    Therefore, literally everything is Sam
    Therefore, I suck and I am Sam
    … Damn.

    *An Actual Electron commits sudoku*

    An Actual Proton:
    Damn why are you all being so negative
    Damn why doesn’t anything rhyme with negative
    Jimmy Hendrix your guitar skillz are gr8 m8
    And Jimi Neutron seeing your show feels as good as it does when I masturb8
    And Hendrix College, I went to you, it was a great place
    I can say that mostly because I’m basically in every place
    And electron don’t be sad, you don’t suck
    I’m sure Sam’s a completely fine and respectable- *looks at Sam*
    Fuck if I am everywhere I am within Sam
    And that means I really suck, damn

    *Proton commits sudoku as well*

    An Actual Neutron:
    Hey Electron, you claimed that everything sucks, therefore everything is Sam
    But Sam is not the only thing in the world that sucks, just look at a vacuum man
    Oh wait you’re dead
    Fuck
    Also Proton when you claimed that you are everywhere, that is true
    It is also true that Sam is a jew
    And I am also everywhere, therefore I’m inside Sam too
    And due to that realization, I bid adieu

    *Neutron commits sudoku as well*

    *Since atoms no longer exist the world disappears*

    *rip literally everything*

    Hoo Juan
    Hoo’s Nex
    Yeh
    Turbleh jeks battles of meeeeh

    yay
    Last edited by Poles; 08-23-2016 at 03:08 PM.

  2. #282
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    We made the happiest TJB character kill themself.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  3. #283
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    I wonder if you guys can write any more TJBs without mentioning me once

    guess i'm just that memorable

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  4. #284
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Wow. That was perfection right there. I'm talking about a perfect 7/11 right here. Nice job!

  5. #285
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    this one's been done for the last few hours and now it's posting time
    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/XKRc1U4.png
    Writers -
    Polar
    Sam
    Gonad
    Spoiler: 

    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    Hitler,
    Rommel,
    Mussolini,
    Hideki Tojo,
    Goeballs,
    Soup Nazi,
    A Grammar Nazi,
    Helen Keller,
    Franklin D Roosevelt,
    Frederick D Roosevelt,
    Franklin the Turtle,
    Eleanor Roosevelt,
    Teddy Roosevelt,
    Churchill,
    Stalin,
    George Washington,
    And VLAD MIRROR LENTILS
    VERSUS
    Scorpion
    And
    SUB ZEROOOOOOOOOOOo
    Begin

    Scorpion and Sub-Zero -
    Ö
    You finished?

    Announcer:
    Yes

    Scorpion and Sub-Zero:
    Ok
    STRAIGHT OUTTA MK
    CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOOTS ICE CUBES
    Might have hair, might have nuts, GET OVER HERE
    Damn man you ruined my rhyme
    Youíre pretty COLD hearted for doing that all the time
    get over here
    *sigh* well, I have it on good authority that the other teamís full of queers
    Get over here!
    William Shakespeare

    The Allies and Nazis:
    Hitler: I AM ADOLF HITLER meeple
    Iíll impale you on a church steeple
    Look at you, you arenít even real people
    I went back in time and made you vack in the prequel
    Goeballs: Paul Joseph Goebbels was a German politician and Reich Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945
    My raps will bury you alive
    Trying to fite me will not go over well
    So shut the fuck up and RING MY GOEBELL
    George Washington: I'll take a bite out of you with my wooden teeth,
    and then beat you to death with a... CHERRY TREE!
    Hereís the difference between you and me, Zero
    Iím not a zero like you, Zero
    Churchill: Why didn't they do Curcill vs an actual Ill Curch (spelt wrong sorry) I think it would have been a better fit
    Why didn't they do Curcill vs herny vi (spelt wrong sorry) I think it would have been a better fit
    Why didn't they do Curcill vs tedy (spelt wrong sorry) I think it would have been a better fit
    Why didn't they do Curcill vs fraknlin (spelt wrong sorry) I think it would have been a better fit
    Hideki Tojo: Iím not actually a Nazi but Iím one of their Allies
    So I guess Iím one of the Allies?
    My rhymes will leave you fried
    Like Nagasaki, liek if u cri evertim
    Teddy Roosevelt: WHATíS UP BITCHEEEES
    BITCHES GET STICHES
    Hey guys Sam wrote a rap battle with me against Freddy Fazbear
    You should check it out if youíre not a Square (Deal hehe)
    Vlad Mirror Lentils: Iím a forgotten meme but Iíll still kick your ass
    Iím not even sure I was ever a meme either way I came and went fast
    Like my raps
    Mirror glass
    Helen Keller: adfsxfvxbfhdtjhdg
    Dhfbbdgsdgnfh
    Hdgb xng
    etsyjsrf
    A Grammar Nazi: Those arenít even words.
    Iíll flip you the bird,
    and ďget over hereĒ is probably an incomplete sentence.
    Is there nothing that rhymes with sentence?
    Stalin: Look into my eyes, you perverted witches
    See the soul of a man who made the citizens of Mother Russia his bitches
    You think I fuck my wife?
    Because I do
    Soup Nazi: No soup for you
    No soup for you
    No soup for you
    No soup for you
    Franklin D Roosevelt: But now youíre facing me, Franklin D
    My legs donít work but Iíll still kick yo ass for free
    I did the New Deal, you guys are a poo deal
    And I bet you eat Matzah, which is a Jew meal
    Franklin the Turtle: Itís Franklin
    Giving you an ass kickiní
    Say why isnít one of our team members Abe Lincoln
    Iíll run you over with my Lincoln
    Eleanor Roosevelt: L aní R up to rap
    Iíve give you an L and aní R to your thigh gap
    I defied segregation laws by sitting in at a Southern Conference
    If Sam were reviewing this heíd say that line was a jokeless reference
    Mussolini: But fuck Sam
    Iíll lynch him man
    since i am the best but Iím not the japanese rossilini
    i will slice him up into sushi made of expert linguini

    Rommel: They call me the Desert Fox
    I gave your moms my Dessert Cocks
    Peter called me the Friendly Nazi
    I have a crush on a girl named Roxie
    Frederick D Roosevelt: But now youíre facing me, Freddy D
    My legs donít work but Iíll still kick yo ass for free
    I gave Roxie my Frederick D
    Erwin Rommel:
    Frederick D Roosevelt: sry
    Erwin Rommel: itís ok man i just want her to be happy
    Roxie: aw erwin <3

    Sub-Zero:
    Ah Frederick, Iíve never heard a verse I roose velt
    My raps are so hot theyíll make you melt
    Scorpion would have said that but heís being a jerk about this battle
    He wonít even let me finish a verse without GET OVER HERE
    See? This was meant to be just my verse, thatís why he wasnít in the verse title thing
    This guy just wonít let me I guess like sing :c
    There are lot of people Iíd like to crash into with my cars
    Beating all of you only took me 8 GET OVER HERE
    Fuck

    Man at a Sub Shop:
    Hi Iíd like to order a sub
    Man at Counter:
    OK which sub on the menu do you want, just tell me what number on the menu it is
    Man at Sub Shop:
    Iíd like Sub #0

    Sub #0: YO YO GUYS ITíS SUB #0 HERE TO RAP
    are we acutally doing this
    No fuck this iím not getting an entire verse

    WHO WON
    Idk
    Turtle jekyll bartletts uh mej

  6. #286
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Roosevelt
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by ďAdonisĒ
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  7. #287
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    Actually, dear grammar nazi, "Get over here" is a perfectly fine and complete sentence, because it is an imperative sentence and uses the understood form of the word you. Case closed.

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  8. #288
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Klonoa View Post
    Actually, dear grammar nazi, "Get over here" is a perfectly fine and complete sentence, because it is an imperative sentence and uses the understood form of the word you. Case closed.
    He probably wasn't the best qualified grammar nazi for the battle but he's the one they sent out

  9. #289
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Wow. You're on fire with these. Can I help make one of them?

  10. #290
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BKTurner47 View Post
    Wow. You're on fire with these. Can I help make one of them?
    Yup everyone's welcome :D
    these are kinda hard to plan tho. A lot of the time when they're done a lot of the people who've expressed interest aren't on.

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