View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #301
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers-
    Polar
    Yackz
    Klo
    Umby
    Maybe more idk this was a public link

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/2ezO4UJ.png

    Spoiler: 

    Do not erase the donald


    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Pacman
    vs
    Ms Pacman
    vs
    Donald Tyrantrump
    vs
    Octillery Clinton
    vs
    Captian Underpants
    vs
    Spiderman
    vs
    Twilight Sparkle
    vs
    Edward
    Berhgin

    PAcman:
    Yo I’m pacman
    I’ll kick you in the sack man
    I’ll break your back man
    I play Knack man
    You don’t know jack man
    I’m hot like Hugh Jackman
    I’m on the attack man
    You can’t rap man
    So you should stahp man
    Between Mac and PC I prefer Mac man
    It’s the nutshack man
    I’ll give you a whakc man
    You don’t know how to hack man
    I run these tracks man
    You dont know jaclk man
    Man
    Can I make this verse longer? Sure I can
    What the mods of erboh should do is give Sam a ban
    Because he is a bad guy who deserves to die
    And then he can be a ghost named Clyde
    Get it? It’s a reference to my game
    You prob dont get it cuz your lame
    Like my spelling and grammar
    Give sam the banhammer
    Donald John Trump is going to be an excellent president
    I voted for him yes I did


    Ms Panmna:
    Wow what the hell man.
    That’s sexist man, go to hell man.
    Apparently our genitals are my bow.
    Take it off and I’m a guy again man.
    I demand equal pay and equality.
    Curse the masculine superiority i am salty.
    I will Sue your power pellets off.
    What’s a good rhyme to that. You hate Hasselhoff.
    Your two little cherries will turn blue.
    Ha I dont have a sack so there’s nothing you can do.
    Dammit polar you spelled my name like Panama im serious.
    Look at all this punctuation it’s clear im on my period.
    This is verbal abuse.
    Obviously it is the man i will accuse.
    Gender is a social construction.
    I will bring about your destruction.
    Seriosuly though you really suck, you heard it from me.
    Your a cheapskate at least Sam sucks for free.
    So wakka wakka you bich
    It’s so easy to make fun of someone with no dick
    I mean i dont have one either but its okay im a lady
    You look a lot more blonde in your video game baby
    Everything you said about me are just lies
    But for 25 cents i can pay you to eat balls until you die


    Dnadl trytsnturmp:
    Let me just say i respect all females
    But ur games r TRASH put em next to ur shitty reboot cuz it also fails
    This battle’s in trouble
    Who wants to vote for a lazy recolor?
    That may not be exactly true
    Actually it is, you uneducated jew
    U wanna talk about misogyny, ur just a commie
    That may not be exactly true but who gives a fuck...amie...
    You wanna waste kids quarters, ms pacman i sense it
    But the only 25 youll find is the percentage of pac mans dick size OOOOOOO
    The numbers are in and i have a big tail
    Just thought you should know, i mean its a pretty big tail
    This’ll be like ur reboot where u fail
    And Tyrantrump...will..uh...smack you with his tail….
    Yeah i rhymed tail three times, you wanna fight about it, m8??
    How do I say this? U suck more than ranger AND sam
    And thats saying a lot, man
    How do you even move with no legs or hands?
    You have them in ur official art but still, damn...
    Ill make Kalos great again, we’ll all be living large
    Except pacman cuz his sprite is only like a few pixels tall
    Ill tell ash ur fired and put red in charge
    Cuz this whole anime’s rigged and we all know the riggers
    For the last 20 years this anime’s been written by…
    ...
    4kids who kinda ruined the anime, to be honest. I mean, they took out a lotta shit from the originals but thats what 4Kids does. Im glad they arent a thing anymore, though I dont really know who currently dubs it. Cartoon Network? Kids WB? Is that even still a thing? Idk..and dont question how a T-Rex knows these things, I just fucking do.


    Octillery clinton:
    Ive been in this series too long, im an OG Johto pokemon
    Ur a 6th gen LOSER who is weak 2 fairies, mon
    I went jamacian on that just to make it fucking rhyme
    Ur verse died faster than u went extinct over time OOOOOOOO
    Ill shoot my octazooka at ur face ur so dense
    Actually wait im a chick that makes no fukin sense
    I said that i respect ur reigon but that wasnt quite right yo
    Looking like a dinosaur cuz u r, bro, i dunno
    First name is Octillery, Middle name is..I dont have one
    Last name is Clinton and good lyrics? U HAVE NONE
    Ur just a crooked little wishy washy bleeding heart dino
    And plus u got shit rhymes, yo


    Captain ndepra:
    I’m from a piece of classic literature
    Nothing rhymes with literature
    Bitch are you sure that you want to fuck with me
    I’ll fuck you up like the Tao Te Ching G


    Spiderman:


    Twiglith spakrly:
    Sex ponies sex ponies sex ponies sex ponies.
    Motherbucker, I just rhymed sex ponies with sex ponies.
    Shut it, spider guy, you’re more like spiderpewdiepie
    I don’t even need to rap, I can just give it to Spike…
    Oh, Spike is sleeping. Uh… sex ponies.
    So stop rapping, or else I’ll make you a sex phony.
    I’ll Rainbow Dash your chances of victory.
    I’m smoking you like bacon, like hickory.
    Hickory dickory dock, I don’t eat bacon, I’m a sex pony.
    I only eat plants, like roses or tulips.
    That didn’t rhyme but I’m still fab as heck.
    Fat men Applejack it to me? Great, that means I’m popular.
    I’m an S to the E to the X-P-O-N-I-E-S, Ain’t no other pony as sexy as me
    I’m sexponlicious
    So don’t hate me cuz I’m popular.
    Love me cuz I’m a sex pony.


    Edward:
    Really, pony girl? You don’t sparkle like I do.
    Step into the sunlight? I’m sparkling, man. That’s true.
    I suck blood, you just suck. Wait, has that joke been made before?
    Doesn’t matter you still suck.
    I’m from a best seller book series, just ask Stephenie Meyer?
    Or is it Stephanie? Honestly it doesn’t really matter.
    Not like you can tell the difference unless this was being written.
    Honestly, whoever wrote these raps for me probably didn’t even read the book.
    But--


    Twiglith Spakrly:
    Dear Princess Celestia, I’m a sex pony.
    The sexiest pony who ever sex’d yeah you know me.


    Edward:
    You still suck, but you can also blow me.
    I’m a sex bat, but not a sex pony.


    PAcman:
    I’m back man
    Gotta look up rhymes for ack man
    I rap like Tupac man
    That’s not how you say his name but too bad man
    Is ad a good enough rhyme for ack? Preparation I lack man
    Umbreon likes to go quack man
    Suck my asscrack man
    I’ll give you a smack man
    You dont knwo jack man


    spaghetti




    TERRIBLE JOKES BATTLE OF Meh who won .
    Last edited by Poles; 01-01-2017 at 10:56 PM.

  2. #302
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    I am proud of my Ms Pacman verse. And I really shouldn't be.

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  3. #303
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    No Pac-Man World reference and that's one of my favorite games ever

    0/10


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

  4. #304
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    surprise tjb

    Writers -
    Sane
    Polar
    Cascade

    Cover - https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/i...D00bz_ERtD_XZO

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible joke battles of meheheheheeeeeeeeee
    Usain Bolt
    Versus
    SOnic the Hedgehog
    Begin


    Usain Bolt:
    Iíll strike you down like a lightnin bolt if you step to me
    Iím the fastest human being in all of history
    I got cold rhymes and I go harder than steel
    Gonna have roasted hedgeheg for my next meal
    U must be in-sain if you think youíll beat me
    Heck you must be racist actually
    Get it cuz I run races and Iím black
    Sonic is a bad fast food restaurant Iíll attack
    Iím Jamaican and Jamaican me crazy mon
    Iíll kick your ass all the way til dawn
    Usain Bolt is the name Sonic is the game
    Sonic 06 was pretty damn lame


    Sonic:
    Iím fast as fuck boi


    Naruto:
    I wanted some cereal but fuck it now Iím back
    Running with my arms back behind my back
    Goddamn Iím so fly call me an aeroplane
    What the hell is anime mane. Get it itís like man but mane
    Yo japenese people are fucking crazy man but I ainít racist
    If you canít find humor in stereotypes then you are wound tight like braces
    See thatís straight fucking fire let me google something about naruto on the wiki
    Believe it! when I tell you bitches Iím an uzumaki what the hell is that
    Yo sane is confused why
    Something about hokage goddamn anime strikes again
    Speaking of you bitches one of you is fast and the other is steve urkel
    Up to you to decide who because maybe I have a conspiracy theory that says steve urkel
    Is in the olympics or wherever usain is from probably europe what the hell am I even saying
    Does this even rhyme


    Eminem:
    yo you guys may be fast but not as fast as my car
    Iíll run you over and then kick you real far


    DID SOMEBODY SAY CAR


    LIGHTNING FUCKING MCQUEEN DRIVES INTO THE GODDAMN SPEEDWAY READY TO SPIT SOME FIRE BECAUSE YOU MEMBER CARS CAN TALK AND SHIT AND WOW THATíS COOL SEE WHAT I DID THERE I SAID WOW BECAUSE OWEN WILSON


    HOLY SHIT LIGHTNING DOES A FLIP ONLY ITS NOT IMPRESSIVE BECAUSE IT MEANS CERTAIN DEATH I CANíT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN CARS 3


    Lightning McQueen:
    kerchoo


    Heís reaching for the ropes its the mother fucking tortiouse from the old story tortiouse in the hare and he JUST FUCKING WINS BECAUSE HEíS THE LAST ONE TO SAY ANYTHING AND HIS MASSIVE TORTIOUSE COCK IS TOO MUCHAND LITERALLY EVERY RECENT RAP BATTLER SHRIVELS UP IN PURE TERROR AND I PROBABLY MISPELLED TORTIOUSE A LOT BUT I DONíT CARE THIS BATTLE IS NOW OVER BECAUSE EVERYONE IS DEAD EXCEPT LARRY THE TORTIOASLS UCK SPELLING JESUS THIS turtle thing IS YOUR GOD NOW


    Who won whos next
    Kill me


    Post time wait shit I need a cover




    I CAN DRAW ONE POLAR
    Do it
    PLEASE LET ME DO ONE IN PAINT


    INCUDE ALL THIS IN THE BATTLE TOOy\yes


    I didnít want to paint one because I am lazy but I found this


    https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/i...D00bz_ERtD_XZO


    What the hell is this fox looking at idk but it looks interesting
    Alriht post time

  5. #305
    sane's Avatar A Beautiful Sunset at Noon
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    fast as fuck boi


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Good job Sane. You killed the forum.

  6. #306
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers -
    PolarBore
    Samilton (the worst)
    Lohuydahutt
    SanicAtTheDisco
    Umbreon
    Gunnut
    Juiz
    Turtlesauce
    GHPunk
    BKTurner
    Klonoa
    Clemi
    SaneButStrange
    Rocket
    Uprising
    Cascade
    Dr. Penguino
    Polar’s older brother
    Some dude I found by googling “best rap battle lines” (fun fact: they weren’t the best)
    All of the people we took quotes from for references and stuff don’t sue us
    Maybe more but I’m pretty sure no
    ft. aodnald

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/0LPR6kX.png (by Umbreon)

    Spoiler: 
    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH
    DICKS
    (The Pikachu)
    VERSUS
    PAUL WALKER
    TWOOOO
    BEGIN!

    1. Paul Walker
    It’s been 3 years without you my not friend !
    And I’ll diss you now that I’ve seen you again !
    You’ve like, pauled your own grave and now I’ll walker all over you !
    I am ap-paul-ed at your ugly face, this is true !
    I really dislike you even though there’s no reason for me to !
    Why hate on a cute little dead ass Pikachu ?
    Because I got to do so you fucking electric rodent jew !
    I’ll be fast and furious when I crash into you !

    2. DICKS
    AH YES IT’S BEEN 3 YEARS I ALMOST FORGOT
    I WAS TOO BUSY GIVING YOUR MOM MY DEAD COCK
    YOUR MOM MUST BE REALLY INTO BESTIALITY
    BECAUSE OF HOW OFTEN SHE HAS SEX WITH ME
    I WAS WITH YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT, I SAW HER AGAIN
    I CHARLIE PUT-H MY DICK IN HER VAGIN
    I’LL TAKE A WIZ ON YOUR MOM’S BODY PARTS WHEN I SEE HER
    I DON’T KNOW HER NAME I’LL JUST KHAL HER IFA
    I GOTTA GOOGLE SOME PAUL WALKER JOKES
    IT’S BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE I’VE HEARD ANY, FOLKS
    *googles*
    WHY DID PAUL CROSS THE STREET? HE WASN’T WEARING A SEATBELT
    A PAUL WALK-ERS INTO A BAR.. AND BY WALK-ERS I MEAN CRASHES INTO IT LEL
    “HEY MAN HE WAS IN MY FACE” I BET THE HE WAS A TREE CUZ YOU’RE ALWAYS CRASHING IN A TREE
    YOUR MOM LIKES TO HAVE SEX WITH ME
    SHIT THAT’S NOT A PAUL WALKER JOKE.
    BUT IT’S A JOKE ABOUT YOUR MOM THO OOOOO

    3. Rob Ford
    WHAT A TWIST, I ACTUALLY DIED THIS TIME
    AND NOW I’M GOING TO TEACH BOTH OF YOU HOW TO RHYME
    AND LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE, DICKS SUCKING DICKS
    YOU SUCK DICKS AND YOUR NAME JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE DICKS
    AND LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE, PAUL WALKER IN HIS CAR
    THAT HE HAPPENED TO CRASH INTO A TREE WITH, HARHARHARRRRR
    *Snorts cocaine*
    LETMEHITYOUFUCKERSUPWITHAFASTRAP
    IDONTGIVEACRAPYOUSAPOHSNAP
    THERESACHARACTERINBORDERLANDSNAMEDCLAPTRAP
    YAPMAPCLAPCAPFLAPFAPFAPFAP
    THATSAWRAP
    BARSSSSSS

    4. Phife Dawg
    Ey mang what’s crackin dawg
    I died cuz I was a funky diabetic dawg
    I don’t even know who I am dawg
    I just assume I say dawg a lot dawg

    5. Joe Medicine Crow
    A group of crows is called a murder, yo
    And thats what imma do on this verse to you, bro
    I Native Ameri-Cant believe you had such a bad verse
    I mean come on, mah d00d, it was the worst
    Im thankful that your bad verse ended
    If i had a guillotine youd be beheaded
    Ill kick you in the Lodge Grass
    And then ill fuk ur girl in the ass
    You just cant custer up a good rhyme
    You’re the worst EVER OF ALL TIME
    I got a strong arm like custer
    Yours is only strong cuz u masturbate to custer
    And idk why youd do that cuz that’d be weird
    But i bet you’re into that sorta thing so get the fuck out of here


    6. Dat Boi meme
    Here come Dat Boi. O shit waddup.
    Here come Dat Boi. O shit waddup.
    Here come Dat Boi. O shit waddup.
    Here come Dat Boi. O shit waddup.
    Watch him rolling, watch him go.
    Watch him rolling, watch him go.
    Watch him rolling, watch him go.
    Watch him rolling, watch him go.
    He be rolling down the street.
    He be rolling to the beat.
    He be rolling down the street.
    He be rolling to the beat.
    Watch him roll. Shit waddup.
    Watch him roll. O shit waddup!

    6. Mr. Fuji
    You guys all suck, yo.
    So here, have a haiku, yo.
    It’s snowing on Mt. Fuji.

    7. Mark Takai
    Aloha bitches it’s the best congressman in town
    In those whole less than two years before I went out
    I fought for our country you losers
    Oh wait not all of you are from my country… LOSERS
    Obama won 70% in my district
    And I won that same district by 51% BITCH
    Oh wait that’s not impressive at all
    Well fuck you guys y’all dicks prob small

    8. The UK in the EU
    It’s been a long day without EU my friend,
    And I’ll tell EU all about it when I see EU again
    *pound rate plummets in background*

    9. Prince
    I’ll beat all of you the color purple
    Ur all the worst waste of potential since the fucking ninja turtles
    I’ll start a rivalry with ya’ll like I did with Weird Al
    My name was probably not Sal

    10. Jon Snow in the ERB idk about actual GoT
    GRRM’s readers fall in love with every character he’s written
    And then he kills them, and they’re like no he didn’t
    All his good guys die but then they come alive after three episodes cause yeah he actually kills all the bad guys eventually and the good guys almost never die except in rare cases so that’s basically a myth.
    Bitch.

    11. Paul Kantner
    Jet fuel can’t melt Jefferson Airplanes
    I kant rap but I can tell you death felt like pain
    We built this city on rock and roll, not rap
    Wait, that wasn’t actually my song. Crap.

    12. Hiroshi Yamauchi
    I was the president of Nintendo Hiroshi Yamauchi
    Prepare to die again, just like Hiroshi Yamauchi
    I died in 2013, rip Hiroshi Yamauchi
    I was with your mom last night, I thought she
    was good.
    You all suck.

    13. Kimbo Slice
    Let me give you a Slice of your own medicine
    I look like a black Shel Silverstein
    Your raps are so poor they probably live in a cardboard box
    Get it because I box! I’m so funny I knock off your socks

    14. Bruce Banner vs Dr Jekyll
    LOOK I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HATE YOURSELF
    SO YOU NEED TO MASTURBATE YOURSELF
    YOU A TYGA, STAP TRYNA TAME YOURSELF
    YOU GOTTA BE BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE ATE YOURSELF
    YOURSELF
    YOURSELF
    YOURSELF
    YOURSELF
    Aaaaand get hit with a little disappointment
    Get burned and I’ll give you some ointment
    But if you think that you’d have rather had this than Jenner
    You’re probably not lying, most people think this is better
    (ungh) The vision of those verses kinda scarred me
    What, you just rage at a Barney-themed party?
    That’s probly not somethin you seen as a child (probably yeah)
    Because most people haven’t seen Barney
    “WE OTHER RAPPERS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH DEATH”
    Blowing you off cool, that’s minty breath
    Examine this under your devices, dicks
    You got no balls but they still got kicked
    After remembering me, you’re gonna ALWAYS be pissed
    So the Hulk will stay forever, and this battle won’t exist

    15. Bill Cunningham
    I am cunning and I go ham
    I was not in the music group Wham!
    I dropped out from Harvard
    You’re ugly like an aardvark
    I was a photographer for the New York Times
    This just in: banged your mother four times
    My Bill is better than Cosby
    Because I ain’t a fucking rapist, G.

    16. Sloth-kun
    We hereby mourn the death of this dude
    Literally the most tragic death in all of animoo
    Oh wait I’m alive now, guess that’s sweet
    And I’m winning this battle with more lines than minutes I spent on screen

    17. That beef
    You all are gay
    Put that beef away

    18. MikhaÔl KALASHNIKOV
    I’m back…
    ...
    I invented the AK-47 that’s right I know who I am now
    I’ll kill you with my AK-47 like pow pow
    Wait shit you’re dead already
    You suck

    19. Alexander the Great
    Hey fella swell diss
    But now you got the Panhellenist from Pella hella pissed
    Stepping up's foolish as well as useless
    Little Timofeyevich let me spell out the list
    I brought foes to their knees in Phoenicia
    Breezed through Gaza to Giza
    Had the Balkans, Persia, Syria, Iraq
    And Pakistan in my expansion pack
    While you died from from gastric hemorrhage
    You got vodka bars (since you’re from Russia): flavorless
    And what I'm 'bout to spit will be the craziest
    So go fix me a drink so I can stay refreshed
    Kudos Greek for the glory I got
    From winning every single war that I fought
    So this will be straightforward: I'll take up this sword that I brought
    And slice you in half like the Gordian knot
    And I'll soar to the top
    Like the eagle whose feather I would sport
    In the helmet that I wore
    As I swatted my many enemies; shattered 'em like a porcelain pot
    And they'd be praying for the torture to stop
    But I would leave 'em contorted and they'd be screaming and roaring
    Until their vocal cords were torn up and shot
    And I would holler "Bucephalus!", hop on my horsey, and trot
    If I wasn’t dead I’d say I’m immortal you’re not

    20. Frederick the Great
    I’m, like, a dead flute-busting Prussian
    Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz!
    Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz! Old Fritz!
    I don’t feel like doing the whole verse
    So suck my Buce-phallus you big jerk
    I would payyyyy a guyyyyyy
    To do something

    21. Pompeii
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o
    Eheu eh-o eheu eh-o

    22. Pompey the Great
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe
    O-he uehe o-he uehe

    23. Mother Mary Angelica
    Your mother was a Mary Angelica
    These rhymes will make you wish you never smoked that marijuana
    I’d say fuck you but I’m a celibate nun
    When it comes to hitting up the Pope i’m number one
    Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass

    24. Pepe the Frog
    Kickin ur ass feels good man
    Ill smack u with my ring hand
    Actually i dont have a ring, bruh
    But ill put one on so itll be more painful to ya
    If u keep spewing shitty verse you’re gonna make me ANGRY PEPE
    You’re all so ugly you cant ever get laid, laid
    Your verses are NOT well meme’d my friend
    I dont even think the pepe meme is ded
    Me losing this battle? Thatd make me a RARE PEPE
    You’re all so stupid you cant ever get laid, laid
    Ill run over you in my..my caaaar, gta
    If u ever try to outmeme Pepe, m8
    I mean u all suck, dudes
    You should all kermit seppeku (Idk how its spelled ;-


    25. Jerry Heller
    Straight outta compton
    An old ass motherfucker here to diss you
    The NWA and I had a lot of issues
    They were never really resolved and I was portrayed as a bad guy in their movie
    I tried to sue them then died, someone’s gotta finish my duty
    I was played by Paul Giamatti
    I’ll cook ya like a Krabby Patty
    I’m a Hell-er of a good rapper
    I was with my dick last night and guess what I jacked her

    26. Cara McCollum
    Jesus christ no I was gonna make a joke about cara mccollum
    Bitch look like gollum,
    cept she was hot as fuck baby come back to life
    and be my wife
    I’ll kill some cheerios and become a cereal
    this is some new fap material

    27. Dennis Byrd
    I dont even have a picture on Wikipedia
    Ill crack you like i cracked my verti-bruh
    Ill shoot a bullet and it’ll meadowland on you
    And then id take you to the hospital cuz thats not cool
    But i wont buy you something from the snack machine, cuz im cruel
    And then when you get out ill push you in a pool
    And not give you a towel, cuz ur a tool and i rule, fool
    There’s a 90% chance ill want my quarter back after hearin you rap
    I want my money back, you hack, ill cut u no slack
    But ill cut you into pieces cuz im fly like a Byrd
    And the byrd is the word, my fellow fo sure
    Ill kick you in the footballs IF YOU HAD ANY
    Fuck getting the the quarter back your verse wasnt even worth a penny

    28. Glenn Frey
    There’s gonna be a heartache tonight.
    I will win this fight.

    29. Buddy Ryan
    Yo I’m Buddy Ryan
    I’m an expert at dyin
    And at rapping so you better be scared
    I had a serious lack of hair
    I was known for my time in the NFL coaching
    I lived to 85 then felt death approaching
    I had a pretty good life, I did some good stuff I guess
    One thing I did that’s badass is name my kid Rex
    I died from my illness while on my ranch in Kentucky
    Unlike my life, your raps are pretty sucky
    Oh and I also coached for the AFL
    That doesn’t exist anymore what the hell
    I was old as fuck it’s fine that I died
    I doubt that many people cried

    30. Bud Spencer
    I did

    31. Robert Stigwood
    Im not your buddy, Ryan
    Ill cover ur face in my dick grease if u know what i mean, man
    Ill make u sick with a saturday night fever
    Because i dont want it to be a major illness, thatd be fucked up..you..dicksucker…
    U dancing with ur wife is a waltz with a pig
    Idek what that fucking is
    I just found it on his wikipedia page and laughed
    Like i will when I break your SPINE IN HALF
    Im sorry that was mean, i am so sorry
    But not as sorry as you’ll be when you lose to me
    Ill...kill you like Sweeny Todd
    Please tell me he’s a killer and im not getting this wrong
    Im not The Fan of you, Ryan
    I bet ur butt buddies with...a guy named Brian..
    And i bet he’s ugly too
    Ur a fucking jew
    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.
    Now go back to Brian and have intercourse

    30. Bud Spencer
    Yo Stigwood you aint gotta talk like that to my Buddy, Bud.
    I’ll shrink you like the Ant-Man Paul Rudd.
    My raps are hard like Iron, Man, I’m a real War Machine
    I have nothing to do with Avengers but yeah stop being mean
    I made many movies with my good man Terence Hill
    And at night, I was the King of the Hill
    Hey don’t get the wrong idea I ain’t gay I see how that can be misunderstood
    But I was married to Maria Amato for 50 years it was good
    But yeah don’t mess with Buddy Ryan his death was sad
    Just like your raps, the day he died was bad
    My Five Man Army will kick your ass, it Can Be Done, Amigo
    You eat so much dick they should call you Banana Joe
    That’s a reference to three of my movies if you didn’t catch that
    Here’s something easier to get: you’re so fucking fat
    I was a professional swimmer so I got the best flows
    Call me Mike S-Pence-r cuz I’ll electroshock you bro
    In my opinion I’m a hardened Italian call me Luigi’s brother
    As hard as the Stigwood that I gave your mother.

    31. Robert Stigwood
    WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY MOTHERFUCKERIJDKF SDFDSAKLFADSFKLJDSGJKSDLGAD
    JAHJDJKHFDFJhskfjsadfk

    32. John Kasich’s Campaign
    I gotta tell ya, this is just crazy, huh? This is just nuts, okay? Jeez, oh man..

    33. Aaron Pryor
    PRIOR to this battle I thought I’d lose
    But it’s clear I’ll win woohoo

    34. Gordie Howe
    Howe did I even die
    This isn’t very fly
    Hockey is the best sport because I played it like a fiddle
    This battle ain’t no riddle
    Fetch me my hockey stick
    You can’t diss this mother pucker without the wit!

    35. John F Kennedy
    I pahked my cah in Hahvahd Lah
    Your raps are so bad they make me say “aah”
    The F stands for fuck you
    If you say my name without the F it sounds so…
    weird

    36. Lyndon B. Johnson
    And me? I’m the damn fool that shot him

    37. Pierre Boulez
    I’d beat you in a Boul-ing match
    I have 26 Grammy Awards and an award in kicking ass
    Call me Robert Bowling cuz I’m going to develop Brink 2
    Call me George St-Pierre cuz I’m an MMA fighter too
    I don’t have a source for that, just believe me
    Next to my name I have a CBE
    I conducted the symphony orchestra for the BBC
    Suck my pli selon pli

    38. Jimmy Olsen
    SUPERMAN
    I’ll make you so scared you’ll POOP-erman
    Jeepers Creepers, Chief
    You and I have lots of beef

    39. Merle Haggard
    Ugh I’m a dirty ass motherfucka
    Don’t talk to Strangers aka don’t step to me sucka
    I’m the realest nigga out there you better not trip
    There’s nothing more gangsta in the world than country music
    UGH

    40. Ivan the Terrible
    Look alive
    Oh fuck none of you can do that because you’re...not alive
    Try to serve Ivan, wait shit you’re all dyin’

    41. Ash’s Greninja
    Haha all you fucking dicks, the ANIME IS CANON
    ASH EXISTS. SERENA EXISTS NOT AS A RIVAL, MAN
    HAHA ALL U ANIME HATERS HA
    Ash will still never win a league tho nah
    I mean come on, in X and Y’s finale he-
    [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] for fucks sake
    Why did he do that?!?! Anyway...fuck you haters
    Ur a buncha masterbaters

    42. Douglas Adams
    In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
    You know what else was a bad move? Your raps. Ooh.

    43. Ebola
    Hey listen up here’s a story
    About a little disease living in the world
    And all day and all night and everything he touches
    Dies
    I’m Ebola da ba dee da ba DIE

    44. Anime North
    More like Anime North


    45. Renť Angťlil
    I can be your Angťlil or your Devilil
    But probably devil cuz my rhymes are ill
    I rap big unlike your dick, which is lil’
    If i put my cock in ur moms mouth it’d be filled
    Rappin against me is like climbing a big hill
    With no feet or arms or anything so its difficult

    46. Ryan Jimmo
    Yo I am the Big Deal
    For Thanksgiving I had a big meal
    Well actually I didn’t because I was dead by then
    Bitch I’m an MMA fighter who was Canadian

    47. The turkey Obama didn’t pardon on Thanksgiving
    Hey i’m a turkey so I probably shouldn’t rap
    I’m so sick and tired of your ridiculous crap
    I hate obama, gee thanks obama
    He ate me like the sandwich that he fed to his llama

    48. Regular Show
    Regular show was actually a good show
    But it’s off the air now so it really blows
    I’m gonna miss being on TV
    But at least i have more time to ski

    49. Noel Neill
    I was Lois Lane in the original Superman show
    I’ll report to your mom and superman that ho
    I know
    You blow
    OOOOOOo

    50. Bernie Sanders’ Campaign
    *funds a loser*

    51. Ted Cruz’s Campaign
    *eats a booger*

    52. Hillary Clinton’s Campaign
    The odds had me at a 99% chance of winning
    I traveled America talking to crowds and weirdly grinning
    And the people CHOSE ME, just look at the popular vote
    Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote
    I think my problem was that more people didn’t Pokemon Go to the polls
    Or maybe I should’ve made dabbing more one of my goals
    This was just like 08 when I failed
    But Trump will appoint me to jail :C

    53. Noreen Corcoran
    I was in Bachelor Father
    Don’t Bachelor Bother
    Stepping to me

    54. Pat Summitt
    I’ve reached the summitt of my life
    And by that I mean I went to the top of heaven and died
    I never had a wife
    And you know I like my chicken fried
    Cold beer on a Friday night
    A pair of jeans that fit just right
    And the radio up

    55. Samsung Galaxy Note 7
    You suck!
    You jelly of my swag lines, B,
    and my raps will blow you up like me!

    56. Garry Marshall
    I created Happy Days
    You all are gays
    I directed Pretty Woman and I bang pretty women often
    If this is multiple battles then you’ve all lost them

    57. Chef Peng Chang-kuei
    Im the chicken master Tso you can suck a Peng-is
    You'll have Taipei the price of not knowing what real rapping is
    I was with your mom last night, she was moanin, yeah?
    Then the next morning i died of Pneumonia
    My raps are fire so they'll cause a Tan-Yan-Kai
    Ill give ur mom my RODford, oh wait i already did
    Uh..you can get on your knees and suck my Taping-is
    Oh wait I already did a pengis joke...fuck
    This fortune cookie says...you suck
    Ill cook you like..like people cook ducks
    If you wanted an easy opponent, you're shit out of luck
    Im not gonna Immi-grant you permission for a second verse
    My rhymes are Rest-RAW-nt, unlike my chicken. You're the worst

    58. Chyna
    There are no strong males here who can stand up to Chyna
    And I’m definitely the strongest person here with a vagina
    I was in Degeneration X so suck ittttts
    Let’s make a sextape and put it on Netflix
    Last edited by Poles; 01-01-2017 at 10:46 PM.

  7. #307
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Welcome to Part 2 of this rap battle. To view part 1, click here.

    Spoiler: 
    59. That spaghetti I ate the other night
    Hey, itís Betty, Iím spaghetti
    Donít forgetti, I wonít regretti
    When I chop yo ass up with a machete
    Knees weak, arms are heavy
    My sperm looks like confetti
    And if you piss me off Iíll bring Eddy
    Heís my bro and heís also Spaghetti
    But heís a bit testy
    That means he has huge testies
    I need a good final verse and Iím ready
    You suck and youíre smelly
    (Eddy: Damn, Betty)

    60. Morley Safer
    You have 60 minutes to get to a More Safer ground
    Cuz im the best broadrapper around
    You think youíre better? I call C-BS on that
    Youíre a Sai-goner and ill report you like Vietnaaaaam
    Ill use all the best rocks to build the Berlin Wall
    Dip it in platinum so its better than Trumps and make you pay for it all
    Then youíll be in debt and itíll ruin your life, bro
    Ill end you like I end a 60 minutes episode
    You have no Reason-er to be trying at all
    Cuz, like i said, yeah im gonna make a Berlin Wall
    Wait that was already built? Shit
    Ill make a Berlin Wall II, fuck it

    61. Richard George Adams
    Ill shoot you down like a battleship and take your Watership Down
    That was a stupidly long first line, probably the longest around
    You can suck my Richard and by Richard i mean dick of course
    Because i dont own a guy named richard this isnt the 1800's anymore
    But yeah you can suck my Shardik man my wikipedia page has so little on it
    Im the king of fiction, so fast im gaining Friction
    Im super slick..son...and you're all pricks...un...
    Nature through the seasons change but you always are gonna be bad forever
    I'm not saying you're not good at rapping I'm just saying I'm better
    Actually I am saying you're bad lel i fooled you bitches
    Ill kickflip this bitch, leave you needing stitches
    Yes this guy's wikipedia page is so fucking boring im resorting to ERBP lines
    I have like 3 paragraphs to work with that did you expect, guys?
    Ill scare you more than kids who watched Watership Down
    Spoiler alert in the first 10 minutes rabbits drown
    I think idk i havent watched the movie before
    But ill drown you like that possible rabbit possibly did, if not more
    I'll leave footprints on your face and they wont be Gentle Footprints
    Ill drop you faster than the sequel to watership down did
    Unless you count the short stories in the rabbit mythology i did
    Yes Rabbit Mythology, thats what Wikipedia says it is
    Back on topic, im gonna kick your ass
    SO change your poster to keep calm and kiss..fuck i already said ass
    Uh..you're..ADAMN ASS...gettit cuz it sounds like a dumb ass
    Dammit i did it again i gotta stop ending my lines with ass
    SON OF A BITCH

    62. Caveman Spongebob meme
    *When someone walks in on u fappin*
    *When you realize youíre a dead meme*
    *When you realize a caveman is living in modern day earth and no one bats an eye at him*
    *When you realize youíre a cartoon character*
    *When you realize youíre a caveman and can't speak english, therefore you cannot rap*
    *When youíre tumblr and someone assumes your gender*
    *When you realize you got replaced by the fist of some cartoon Aardvark*
    *When your verse is done but you literally made no disses or boasts so it shouldnít be in a battle*

    63. The United States
    God bless Murica
    Weíre gonna need it, uh
    Cuz Trump actually won holy shit
    I honestly wouldíve preferred Mitt

    64. Billy Paul
    Ill Paul out my dicks
    And smack you with it
    Yes, Dicks i have multiple
    But i still am less of a dick than all of you combined
    Am I Black Enough For You? Thats an actual song by me
    Im black enough to know u aint better than me
    I dont even know what that fucking means
    Idk ive just been in the mood to kick ur ass lately

    65. Leon Russell
    Let me tell you a few things about me
    And then you can suck my pee
    Iíve been so many places in my times
    Iíve grown a Santa beard and spat some lines
    I was born Claude Russell Bridges
    I fucked all your bitches
    Iíve collaborated with some of musicís biggest legends
    In a battle with me youíd all be seconds
    Bars
    Bars b
    Bars ars
    B

    66. Gene Wilder
    Come with me
    And youíll be
    In a wooooooooorld of pure masturbation
    What you eat will relieeeeve
    Constipation

    67. Muhammad Ali
    Oooh here comes Wilder, big hair wobbling
    Flying through the air like a big dumb gobalin
    Iím too good for Ali-deez hoes
    You wouldnít like me when Iím Muham-mad though

    68. The Nutshack
    Itís the Nutshack! (Yee, yee)
    Itís the Nutshack! (What he say?)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Oh, yes! Yeeeah)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Hey, I got the Nutshack!)
    Itís the Nutshack! (ĎThe fuck you say, boyee?)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Itís the Nutshack!)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Itís the Nutshack!)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Itís the NutshackÖ)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Hey!)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Piece aí nuts!)
    Itís the Nutshack! (Whoooa!)
    Itís the Nutshack!
    Hoo-ugh!
    Philís from the stone, Jackís from the pier,
    Horatio or Horat so beer!
    Tito Dick ďDickmanĒ, baby!
    He hates Phil and loves the ladies.
    Jackís cool-ass lazy, heís still learniní.
    Number one Cherry Pie, still a virgin.
    Chita, meet da freak of da weekah!
    Philís homegirl that Jack wanna keep her,
    But thatís not happeniní, either!
    Shakiní like a seizure, hold up, boys
    and spark this, take a breather.
    With that reefer in my lungs,
    I got grapes, what you watchiní, son?
    Itís the Nutshack! (Yah!)
    Itís the Nutshack! (AAAAARRRGH!)
    Itís the Nutshack!
    Itís the Nutshack!

    69. Lol
    Hahahahahahahaahaha

    70. Leo Gray
    This guy doesnt even have a wikipedia page
    But what does exist is my raps, your chances are looking Gray
    Iíll Le-OWN you on the mic, you dont even own a dick
    Oh, im sorry, you do? Pardon me, its microscopic
    I only have a name to work with
    So this is where i quit

    71. Some Guy in England Probably
    Pip pip, cheerio and all that
    I probably misspelled cheerio, crapÖ
    Ill...eat you aliiiiiive like a cheerio
    But thatíd be improper so i actually wont
    To heck with this rapping lets get some tea and crumpets
    [Something that rhymes with crumpets]

    72. An Iceberg
    my rhymes would make u a loser but you are already
    You chump I'll crash into you with..with..with my body, ready?
    Iím cold like ice! O wait i AM ice so that doesn't work, fuck..
    Uh...my...temperature is..as low..as your chances of winning! I know, that sucked...
    But, that works...i guess? Uh...Iíím cool..literally and figuratively speaking
    But iím also hot, but thatís only in the figurative sense of the word
    Iím obviously not literally hot because then iíd be melted
    I was gonna make a joke about your rhymes arenít hot enough to melt me
    But then I realized that implies that your rhymes are either cold or cool
    And neither are accurate at all, but your rhymes are not hot either
    So...uh...theyíre...theyíre...uhÖ.ROOM TEMPERATURE
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    *Titanic crashes into it and dies* rip

    73. Arnold Palmer
    Iím the king of golf so I got game
    Iíll hit you with my palm-er cuz youíre lame
    Iíll hypnotize you with a little strip tease
    I was one of the Big Three in golf in the 60s YEAH

    74. Dan Haggerty
    The Life and Times of Dan Haggerty came to an end this year
    When I died, you queers

    75. Katie May
    I was the Queen of Snapchat
    My deathís pretty sad
    My fucking chiropractor made me get a stroke
    Donít hire that chiropractor folks

    76. Arthur fist meme
    *When youíre crammed in a battle with so many rappers*
    *When youíre a dead meme*
    *When you are a fist and cant rap*
    *when your rhymes kinda suck*
    *When you realize youre a duck*
    *When you suddenly start rhyming*
    *When..something that rhymes with rhyming*
    *When your verse hasnt dissed anyone yet but its almost done*
    *When youíre an..aardvark? Anteater? Wtf is Arthur anyway? And why does he have a fist if heís an animal? wat kinda furry bullshit is this*
    *When you realize someone probably faps to arthur porn*
    *When you realize arthur porn exists (It does, look it up. Its sick, theyíre like 12 or some shit u fucking freaks of nature*
    *When your verse is done but you havent made any good disses at all*
    *When you realize you forgot apostropheís in most of your verse*
    *when your verse is done cuz the writer got lazy/ran out of arthur fist ideas*

    77. Rick Harrison meme
    I'm Rick Harrison and this is my verse. I worked on this with idk some bum i met on the street and hired for a potato chip either wayÖ.every line in this verse is gunna rek u and ain't nice in the sense that its mean, not that the rhymes aren't that good. Even though i'm not really rhyming at all...One thing I learned after 21 seconds of hearing you rap? U suk

    78. 2015
    2015 was not a good meme
    But 2015 is a mad rapping machine
    Iíll give you a big old 2015 style dickin
    You look like a baked fucking chicken
    I might be over in real life but iím not done rhyming
    Wow my rhymes are so bad i need better timing

    79. Antonino FernŠndez
    I donít always die, but when I do
    Everyone in my hometown gets chingada rich, dude
    Because Iím a billionaire, and thatís like, a trillionaire in pesos
    The exchange rate for pesos to dollars is puta mierda, tho
    Esta batalla es termina ahora, probablemente, y estŠn rekt
    Now allow me to take a sip of this Mexica beer until Iím dick-done ded

    80. SilvaGunner
    Its the nutsha-
    What do you mean we already did that?
    Im the one that practically made the fucking meme, you twat
    Ill rip u in half like i rip music from games and upload it in a 30 minute chunk
    Except no one wants u so ill take u to the dump
    Ill Silva-gunner you down, ur not my ally
    Ur about as pointless as Silvally

    81. Jesus Christ
    The word of the Lord.
    Go eat a gourd.

    82. Loki the Corgi
    Bark bark bark selfie bark bark
    Ill eat ur dick like a shark shark
    Beating you is a walk in the park park
    Im flying high like a lark lark
    Your chances are growing dark dark
    Ill shove an aardvark up ur cock cock
    Yeah, a fucking aardvark aardvark
    Cuz when it comes to bad bitches? Im the monarch monarch
    Not the butterfly, the royalty kind u dumbass...arkÖ.
    I have 2 of every good line like Noahís Ark Ark
    If this was a TV show my verse would be the best story Arc Arc
    Id keep rapping but im sure ive made my mark mark
    Actually fuck it ill keep going, im smarter than Tony Stark Stark
    I hate all ur lines and ur crude remarks remarks
    Kicking ur ass is on my to do list and ill give it a checkmark checkmark
    Like the real Loki from mythology ill kill everyone named Mark Mark
    That makes no sense but i wanted to include Loki and Mark Mark

    83. Leonardo DiCaprioís Lack of An Oscar
    Everyone was happy when Leo won
    But Iím not because now Iím gone :C
    I lived a good life and I thought itíd last forever
    Leoíll never win an Oscar? Shoulda never said never
    By justin bieber

    84. Richard Libertini
    Libertini and justice for all
    Except for you all
    I was in Lethal Weapon 4 so prepare to get flattened
    Donít forget the lessons learned from US Army General George S. Patton
    Call me Rudy because Iím not very strong
    Something something redemption song

    85. Lord Timothy Dexter
    bye pahpular Sugestyen IM rahpin sOn
    Reed mah boK A Pickle For The Knowing Ones
    WEhn I dye burIe me in a glas cAskit
    Mi weif can lik a dIk and furmLee graSp it
    Im rIch I gOt faht Staks in Sooper pAx
    I aiant goanja lit dis atlle be abdicteatied by fax
    I rslreyl sOCclialezed with mi netiHgorus
    I fEIked mi Funeral aND my wife didnT cri that hores
    , Ď . ď ď
    , . , .
    Ď , . Ď .
    . , .

    86. Sir Neville Marriner
    Yo Timothy Dexter you aint got nothing on me
    Iíll fuck you up like the Tao Te Ching, G
    I founded the Academy of St Martin in the Fields
    I supervised the Amadeus soundtrack fo reals

    87. Angus Scrimm
    Omg this guyís name is pretty funny
    Oh his name is actually Lawrence Guy
    Why would he change it to this
    Meh at least itís hilarious

    88. Sir Antony Jay
    Iím Antony Jay
    Youíre only gay
    Like Ernie and Bert
    Ouch thatís gotta hurt

    89. Toughie, the worldís last Rabbís fringe-limbed tree frog
    Yo Iím Toughie
    If I was alive the sex Iíd have with your mom would be roughie
    Iíll make you extinct like my species
    You got candy raps reeses pieces

    90. Alan Young
    I was the Charlie Chaplin of television
    So you best quitcha bitchin
    This verse was well sung
    I died old so I wasnít very Young

    91. ElŪse de LaSerre
    I read this as Ellen Degeneres and idk why
    But im de best around, you ugly guy
    Ill Elise-ecute you with my electric things
    Youíre more of a glitchy thing that AC Unity
    Please tell me that was the glitchy one
    Idk anything about AC so im done
    *Repose en paix pasque elle est mort maintenant*

    92. Nancy Reagan
    Married to the president, I was the First Lady
    Looking like a JEW ass bitch, youíre the worst, baby
    I was born Anne Frances Robbins
    You suck like the movie Batman and Robin
    In this battle I will make the grade
    My husband tore that wall down like the man of Kool Aid
    Battling me you should be afraid
    I let thousands die by not giving HIV victims my aid
    BARS BARS BARS
    CRASH WITH CARS
    YOUUUUUUUUU

    93. Christina Grimmie
    You need to stop being such a Negative Nancy, Nancy
    Call me Iggy Azalea because Iím so fancy
    Are you and Ron together? Thatís very gay
    My raps are Always Sunny like Philadelphia with Charlie Day
    Call you Anne Frances Robin Williams because youíre dead too
    I Vermounted your husband Ronald Reagan in the bed too
    Gave him a Christina Grim-job yo
    Gave him my zeldaxlove yo
    I can sing because Iím the sing-le best one here
    My voice coach was apparently Adam Levine

    94. Guy Clark
    Im strong like Clark Kent and ur Clark Fucked
    If u were a plant youíd be a CUNTry and ur verse sucked
    Youíll have seen better days when your rappin against me
    I got boats to build and cold dog soup apparently, so leave me be
    I dont know what cold dog soup is but its not appetizing sounding
    Ill give ur mom a pounding
    Im strong like clark kent and ill be blunt
    If im superman then ur Clark Kunt
    Idk why i made 2 cunt jokes in one verse, guy
    I guess you could say im not well-versed, guy
    But my verse is well, guy
    Go to hell, guy
    And if you arent a guy then ur a girl
    So suck my dick u..girl

    95. Two genders
    What's my gender? 🚺🚹❓❓Did you just 😱 ask me 😂😂 what my gender 👧🏽👦🏽 was❓❗️Oh my god, you are LITERALLY 👋🏻 the most IGNORANT 💩 AND ILLTERATE 📚📚📚 ❌❌ FUCK I have EVER seen👀👀👀 browsing before 😂😂😂😂😂 What gives you the RIGHT ✔️✔️ to ask me what my 🚺🚹🚺🚹 gender is? 😂😂😂 MHMM? NOTHING ❌❌ THATS WHAT ❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️Since you're SOOOOOOO curious🙇🏼🙇🏼🙇🏼🙇🏼 I'll have you know ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼 that I am a 🚺🚹 G E N D E R F L U I D 🚹🚺 I'm not gonna sit here ⬇️⬇️ and explain 📢📢 what that is to someone as IGNORANT 😂💩💩 as you, but I'm gonna tell you anyways ☝🏼️🙇🏼☝🏼🙇🏼☝🏼🙇🏼 Being G 🚺 E 🚹 N 🚺 D 🚹 E 🚺 R 🚹 F 🚺 L 🚹 U 🚺 I 🚹 D means that I am both M A L E 🍆💦👦🏽 (cis scum😷😷😷😷&#128567 and F E M A L E👧🏽👠💄🍑 ❗️❗️❗️❗️ I can swap ⬇️⬆️➡️⬅️ between these genders 👌🏻😂 as I please❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️ You're ignorance 😷 is literally OOZING 💦💦💦💦 out 😂😂😷😷😂😷😂😂

    96. Jerry Doyle
    CHRONIC ALCHOALSHISM
    FUCK MY DYSLEXIA MAN GODDAMNIT
    WHO THE HELL WAS THIS DUDE BABYLON BALDY
    HE LOOKS LIKE ASAC HANK SCHRADER

    97. Our planet because of the scourge of climate change :c
    I mean, it canít be that bad, I might just have some luck!
    ďDonald Trump doesnít believe in climate changeĒ Aw fuck!

    98. The Kool Aid Man
    More like OH YEAH, stop bitching, climate change is mean
    Your verse was the worst one Iíve ever SEEEEEEen

    99. Nick Menza
    Yo yo hold up
    Yaíll about to get blown up
    You all already died now Iíll give you a Megadeth
    Facing off with me you must be on some mega meth
    My daddy played saxophone on the Pink Panther Theme
    My band had a song named Foreclosure of a Dream
    After this battle, you will be Reduced to Ashes
    Gonna hit you on the face gonna punch you in the glasses
    I gave your girl my Hard Rock so you better join the Fear Assembly
    Iím making my music listeners get all trembly
    My verse is like a Symphony of Destruction, yours in particular
    Because my raps are so dope, dank, fresh, and sickular
    Iím gonna make this verse really unnecessarily long
    But it still wouldnít be as long as my dong
    If I told you were good itíd be Almost Honest
    Actually it wouldnít even be close since you suck in this contest
    I began drumming at the age of two
    And Iíve rocked harder than all of you since that too
    Iíll Inject you with Death after I beat you all
    Iíll power saw your arms off in this brawl
    I see better flows than yours when I take a piss
    In my Life After Deth Iíll win a battle aka this
    This is your Countdown to Extinction and then youíll Rust in Peace
    My raps will give you Youthanasia because they are Cryptic Writings ya see
    My lines Menza lot, yours mean nothing, they have no worth
    Iíll shove my drumsticks up your ass and theyíre by Vic Firthô
    My raps will hurt you more than a woman giving birth
    And yours hurt me too because theyíre the worst
    My lines are like Cold Fire because theyíre cold but also fire
    Iíll crash into you with my car while on the Rhoads you wire
    Get outta the car, stomp you out, OHMan
    Kill your ass and leave your face full of flan
    And then Iíll shove you into Chodleís Trunk and drive really far
    Bury your bitch ass in another motherfuckers yard

    100. Harambe
    Menza? More like Men-SUCK!
    Nicks out for me, i'm about to go ape
    cause honestly yall are more retarded than Gilbert Grape
    i'm back from the dead, and i'm after your head
    call me Haram-bae, because my enclosure's in your girl's bed
    in my opinion, they should have shot the kid
    just like when i shot my kids in your girl...kid.
    my raps are hot, just like Ghost Rider's head
    i hate Megadeth, so i'm glad you're DEAD
    i'm the big bad ape, with my Balls out for Bantu
    and i'm just like sambama, because i will BAN YOU

    101. Bernie Worrell
    Call me Bernie Sanders because 99% of you suck
    Wait shit he thinks the 1% sucks fuck\
    Well 1% of you suck then okay
    And the others are just kinda okay
    Call George Clinton Hillary Clinton because I worked with him in Parliament-Funkadelic
    Just like Bernie helped Hillary after ending his campaign. Also my raps are sick
    Iím also known for my work in the Talking Heads
    You can all suck my Talking Heads

    102. Keith Emerson
    Your raps are not The Nice
    I hate them more than mice
    I committed suicide at 71 years old thatís weird and sad
    It was not The Nice it was the bad

    103. AIDS Skrillex
    (YOUíRE A FUCKING WHITE MALE! Youíre a white man!)
    The doctor is in, serving you all a lethal dose of white guilt!
    You should be ashamed for all the PoCís youíve killed!
    Youíre skinís bright? Then you must be an oppressor!
    Thatís why my wifeís son scolds me for what seems like forever!
    You disagree with my ultra-progressive groupthink? MISOGYNY!
    Donít like my broad statements? AGENT OF THE PATRIARCHY!
    Harambe is a symbol of rape culture, rape rape rape!
    Iím serving social justice on a fine China plate!
    Carl the Cuck: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You just culturally appropriated,
    Chinese culture into your rhymes! THATíS RACIST!
    AIDS Skrillex: Those glasses were originally found by the superior black man,
    so you should be incredibly sorry, and give in to the black man!
    Trigglypuff: TRIGGLYPUFF TRIGGERED! TRIGGLY MAD!
    TRIGGLY SMASH CISHET WHITE MAN!
    DONíT AGREE? THEN DESERVE TO BE CRUSHED!
    KEEP YOUR HATE SPEECH OF MY CAMPUS!

  8. #308
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Welcome to part 3 of this rap battle. To view part 2, click here.

    Spoiler: 
    104. Alexis Arquette
    DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
    *Alexis shoots at literally everyone, doing nothing*
    Oh shit youíre already dead
    Same :C

    105. Elie Wiesel
    Never shall I forget how your verses sucked.
    Never shall I.. fuck it... you all suck.
    I wrote a book and named it ďNightĒ.
    Carl the Cuck is like a white knight.
    Iím a Jew, and so is Sam.
    Lynch Sam.
    Sam sucks.
    You all suck.

    106. Boxelder Bug
    The boxelder bug is a North American species of true bug
    It is found primarily on boxelder trees, and it is a thug
    I was killed by Polar after staying with him for a few hours
    He was lucky I didnít show him my powers
    Of rap, which I just so happen to be showing at this moment
    Your mom wanted to have sex last night and I was chosen
    Iíll box you if you donít respect your elders
    Stop battling me and go make music with a blender

    107. Anton Yelchin
    Hey, itís me, Yelchin, Iíll prosper and live long
    Oh, I fucked it up, letís back it up
    NO, NOT LIKE THAT
    *splat*

    108. Steven Smith
    I am a completely made up person who didnít die
    Why am I here? Who knows why
    But I am probably a straight white middle class man
    Kinda like Sam
    But unlike Sam I donít suck
    Sam is a cuck

    109. Sam
    I mean this was kind of a crazy year but Iím definitely still alive
    I donít know what Iím doing here to be honest
    I came here to have a good time and honestly Iím feeling so attacked right now

    110. Ron Lester
    Iím not Ronald Reagan I am: Ron Lester
    My favorite Town of Salem role: Ron Jester
    I was in the movie Good Burger: Ron Digester
    I was 508 pounds at one point, then I was: Ron Lesser
    My great great great great grandfather is my: Ron Ancestor
    Call me Ron McDonald: Ron Tastetester
    Got your wifeís cell number: Ron Texter
    I was with her last night: Ron Molester

    111. Ronald Reagan
    I beat the other Rons and Qin, now Iím back again
    Actually itís debatable if I beat anyone at all man
    I beat Walter Mondale decisively in 1984 though
    And I crashed into Jimmy with my Car-ter in 1980 yo
    Communism is bad, and so are your raps
    Iíll leave your face redder than my electoral maps
    Iíll leave you with one last line you jews
    Iím glad Reagan dead cuz if I wasnít then I wouldnít be in this battle to beat YOUUU

    112. Qin Shi Huang
    Yo Reagan someone did this verse but Iím gonna redo it to make it more accurate to the character
    Yo Reagan Iím really glad to be back I didnít think I would get this opportunity
    Yo Reagan you lied about the Iran-Contra affair
    Yo Reagan I could lie to my people all the time back in the day because I was their brutal dictator
    Yo Reagan you started the ineffective War on Drugs
    Yo Reagan Iím not sure if drugs were used in Ancient China I havenít done much research on drug use in the ancient world
    Yo Reagan little thing about me I spent a long time looking for the elixir of immortality
    Yo Reagan from me being here itís clear to see how that went
    Yo Reaga-

    113. Patty Duke
    Im Patty Duke, youíre Patty DOUCHE
    When ur rappin against the Duke ur gonna Lose
    My real name is Anna,
    ur as strong as a bruised bananna
    Anna r u ok? R u ok anna? No im not, yo
    Cuz im better than ok im the best OOOOOOOO
    Ur the best too at sucking dick
    Who the fuk r half of you? Thats the 64,000 dollar question
    I only on 32,000 however so that may a better line to add in
    I played Helen Keller, im a Helen KILLER, u see
    U suck more than the later seasons of Glee, u FREAK
    I married Harry Falk, so go Falk yourself
    IllÖ.Al-Sting ur dick off and put it on my shelf
    Gettit cuz my sonís name was Alstin and yeah
    U cant even beat me cuz im gonna win, yeah
    Ill beat u like u beat ur meat and ill make you into a hamburger patty
    But i wont eat it because thats cannibalism and is looked down upon on most civilized countries...and also because youd taste crappy OOOOOOOOOOOO

    112. Qin Shi Huang
    Yo Patty nobody even knows who you are are
    Yo Patty Iíll crash into you with my car car
    Yo Patty whyíd you interrupt me in the middle of my verse
    Yo Patty Iíd keep on going but I know nothing about you other than youíre the worst

    114. Scout in Death Battle
    Hey iím scout and iím a kid raper
    I lost to fucking Tracer
    I just needed something that rhymed ok
    I dont rape kids and i am not gay

    112. Qin Shi Huang
    Yo Scout I heard Team Fortress 2 is highly overrated
    Yo Scout *gets knocked out with baseball bat*

    114. Scout in Death Battle
    bonk

    115. Maurice White
    I got candy raps and they call me Reece, earth wind and fire I am an elemental MC
    CAUSE I BRING THE CHOCOLATE THUNDER AND SHAKES WITH MY PARKINSONS DISEASE

    116. Lohuydahuttís love life
    So supposedly i'm dead even though i'm just inactive
    Log's friend -
    YOU HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND LOG
    YOU SUCK DICKS OBVIOUSLY-OG
    Log's Love Life -
    Wrong, diznacklenutsizzlebagfin​aggler, i'm just inactive!

    117. Polarís love life
    So supposedly i'm dead even though i'm just inactive
    Polar's friend -
    YOU HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND POLAR
    YOU SUCK DICKS OBVIOUSLY-AR
    Polarís Love Life -
    Iím gay yeah but I donít have a boyfriend

    118. Samís love life
    So supposedly i'm dead even though i'm just inactive
    Sam's friend -
    *sorry guys, nothing here. Sam has no friends :C*

    119. Lemmy
    OOH, Iím Lemmy and Iím here to Kill,mister
    Iím a Hellraiser and Iíll fuck your sister
    Time to play the Game cause you got played
    I got Killed by Death but at least I got layed
    I died from cancer, FUCK CANCER
    Death called and I had the balls to answer
    I was Born to Raise Hell, so fuck you
    Get off my nuts, what are you Dave Grohl? (Dave Grohl: OOOO)

    120. Frank Sinatra Jr.
    Ho whatís up with your faces babies yikes
    Theyíre all so different but Iíll own you on the mics
    Jewsflash kids youíreall jews
    And Han Solo is a better
    Rapper
    Than
    YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu

    121. Han Solo
    Why thank you, Frank Sinatra Jr, I agree.
    And how many good movies am I in? More than 3
    However I died in one at the end of last year :C
    Oops spoiler alert queers

    122. Kenny Baker
    Hey guys, Iím the midget that played R2D2!
    What do you mean? No, he wasnít automatic.
    I mean, yeah.. He couldíve been but..
    But..
    *breaks down and cries*

    123. Lohuydahuttís Ngara Flametail Cichlid that he spent like 20 fucking dollars on smh
    *looks it up on the interwebs* Actually I was about 25 dollars you fucking dick
    They put me in a box and shipped me from Utah and all I get is this?
    I was just going about my day when that asshole beat the shit out of me
    And you were in Colorado smoking that dank weed
    Pizza shit.

    124. Somebody Nobody Cares About
    Hey Guys Iím Sam
    No one cares about me? Damn
    I should build a dam
    Then give it to myself
    So I can give a dam
    Dam
    Lynch sam

    125. Michael Cimino
    You wanna talk shop you foppish fop
    Go back to Hot Topicô and shop for a top
    Thereís a bunch of little jewish jews here
    Cim-out-o here you fuckin queers
    Iím like a poet with the raps I spit
    Youíre all like Sam with your shit
    Iím keeping my viewers watching my stuff
    Feel this Magnum Force you fuck
    You better start Silent Running, youíll die prob
    Iíll Deer Hunt you cuz you suck dawg
    Thunderbolt you down and kick you with my Lightfoot
    Youíre kids stuff soft like a Jigglypuff
    Racks racks racks stacks jacks macks pile
    I got a good style just look at me rap in this style
    Didnít crank out Shawshank or Green Mile
    Sam? Heís a duck
    Sam? Heís a fuck
    My movie Heavenís Gate only making 3.5 million dollars on a 44 million budget? Not as bad as Sam but that sucks :C

    126. your dad
    Hey, iím your dad
    But really chances are iím probably not dead
    The rhymes i write are not at all bad
    Donít cry even though itís sad
    I will be back to love your mum
    And put my penis in your bum
    For you are all my favourite sons
    And iím gonna own all you MCs on this song
    My rhymes are certified coles fresh
    Iím gonna go back to heaven and have a wank sesh

    127. Darth Vader
    your dad...I am a better rapper
    Wait I didn't die this year did i? So why am I in this? Star Wars takes place a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away so all the movies take place in the past, just in another galaxy where technology is more advanced and for some reason we look like humans even though we aren't from earth or anything...but i guess I'm obligated to rap or something? UhÖ
    U can..suck my...uh..death stars..cuz they kinda look like balls? Idk im not good at the rapping thing..what, you thought I'd be good cuz im black? U racist fuckface ill 1v1 u irl with a lightsaber and the Death Star..u lil bitch.

    128. -fill in someone-
    Yeah sure
    I mean we just had this on the list somehow for some reason
    I guess we were going to fill it in later but we never got around to it
    Idk you can write your own verse if you want
    We all know weíre just going to leave it like this

    129. George Kennedy
    Rappin against youís a Dragline, man
    Not because its hard, because your shitty raps are somethiní i cant stand
    Ill shoot your mom in the face with my Naked Gun, sir
    I guess you can say as of last night, im her lover
    Ill smash you in the dicks with my golden globe
    Youíre just a buncha golden hoes
    Ill kick your Dall-ASS, my raps on full blast
    Ill shatter you like Glass, you...assÖ
    Rapping against me is putting yourself in Harms Way
    I played Blodgett in The Legend of Jesse James
    I dont know how to pronounce that name
    Fightiní me means youíre the gambler
    Remember i Kingdom Come on ur mom and i manhandle her
    Was that was too harsh, if so im sorry

    130. My hopes and dreams
    Alright, letís go, 2016, the year of change for the better
    Itís January, Iím going to be a new me, a real trendsetter
    February, I havenít gotten around to doing much, but I keep my hopes up!
    Haha what itís March already, thatís fine, I guess, Iíll get going now and I wonít stop!
    Seriously itís April? Shit I havenít even gone to the gym yet
    May? What the fuck is going on, Itís like i canít ever win, shit.
    Eh fuck it, June, July, August, I donít even care
    Itís not like this piece of shit life means anything, fuck that
    I want to sleep

    131. Anna Dewdney
    Ill feet you to my Llamaís
    They wear red Pajamas
    Im gonna Elizabeth Gouge your eyes out
    Dont be a Grumpy Glora, man
    What the fuckís with my Llama obsession?
    Seriously, look at how many fucking llama books i wrote http://i.imgur.com/8nuUjPe.png
    Anyways...
    If there was a best rapper contest you wouldnt get my vote
    Ill zippity zoom my foot in your ass until your ass breaks
    Nobunnyís Perfect except my raps, m8
    Ill Llama Llama fuck your mama
    Even tho im a chick ill use a strap-on-her (Ha)
    Whatcha gonna Dew-dney brutha
    You dont know shit about shit sucka
    Anna are you ok? No im better than ok
    Unlike u cuz ur fukin ghey
    Not that theres anything wrong with that, you do you
    But i bet you also do dudes

    132. Brangelina
    Oh no why omg
    This was my otp

    133. David Bowie
    ooh get rekt
    illuminati bitch
    I have a song named Always Crashing in the Same Car
    And Iíll crash into you all with the same car
    Iíll shoot you with my Bow-ie because Iím a true Blackstar
    Iíll Dav-ide you into 4 black stars and remake Cool Runnings whatever that are
    Beating me is like Life on Mars
    Because itís currently impossible harharhar
    Iím sure in 20 years youíll all be drunk at the (dead person) bar
    Ziggy playeddd guuuuuuitarrrrr

    134. Craig Sager
    Ill blow u up like TNT cuz im TNT best
    U thing u can win? ha, thats so T-BS
    Ill shove a basketball down ur throat
    And then take u a doctor to fix ur throat
    Im reporting to the world that you're a failure
    ill run into you with..with.. with my trailer
    Idk wat Garish means but wikipedia says i have a Garish Suit...ell...
    So uh...ill give u a suit that says u suck since it Garish suits you well
    Your raps get me so mad they make me Say GRRRRRR
    Ill respect the flag but you'll get none from Sager
    Your raps are like a champion-chip. Ill take one and eat it
    u can suck my basketballs cuz i wont be defeated
    Your face is even uglier than my orange suit, and that shouldnt be possible
    Me, losing a fight? thats not even plausable
    i may have died of leukemia
    but ur a JEW JEW JEW JEW JEW...Jew-kemia

    135. Cops
    Bad verse bad verse, what ya gonna do
    What you gonna do when i diss u
    Bad rap bad rap what ya gonna do
    I dont care what the fuck ur gonna do, jew
    *Sees a black man and shoots him*

    136. African Americans
    Iím cominí
    Iím cominí
    Iím cominí
    Iím cominí
    Ahahaha
    I wanna kill you
    You tryna play me like a JEW
    But JEW see
    Iím the wrong n-word ga to diss without wit
    I got the A to the motherfucking K
    And itís ready to rip in peace
    Oh shit rip in frigginí peace Mikhail Kalashnikov
    That dude is why I have
    An A to the motherfucking K
    But when I find Sam I will
    LYNCH THAT JEW, use this stick in my lair
    Pump 1 time, chump and then de-leg a chair
    Cause the JEWishness of him is uncalled for
    He is not nearly as good as my man polarbore
    And that JEW ainít swag
    So now Iím putting on his head the ultimate grocery bag
    And when you hear from Sam
    Youíll be like
    Damn, I wanna kill Sam.

    137. Squidward dab
    *respectfully and solemnly dabs in silence*

    138. Soup Nazi
    something about why would you by clothes at a soup store
    thats right a meme within a fucking meme, memeception up in this bitch, whore
    Uh..something about jews suck and gas chambers and trains or something
    Idk wat this meme is im just gessin

    139. Grammar Nazi
    Did you not capitalize the first letter of your verses‽
    And you misspelled what, buy, and guessing!
    You didnít use apostrophe where needed.
    Memeception is also not a fucking word!
    Why would you include ďuhÖĒin your verse while youíre thinking of a line?
    This is a text battle, so it makes no sense for the writer to do that.
    In addition, your verse had no punctuation at all when it should have.
    Your third line is lazy, and your last line does not match the syllables of the rest.
    F- you suck, go back to preschool.

    140. Nazi Furries
    I'm sure my verse will be HITLERious
    I bet JEW didn't see that coming
    Don't worry this won't just be nazi puns probably
    But I'm sure itíll be a GAS :D
    Oh yeah i should make this have something to do with furries
    Uh...i like animals and wanna fuk em or something

    141. Prince Buster
    Ill Prince Buster- your face in and cause pain, eh
    I only added eh so i can rhyme pain eh with raggae
    Your sister is Sister Big Stuff, no doubt about that
    Get it? Its cuz she is fat
    Ill show you a hot girl so youíll be What a Hard Man Fe Dead
    You best be Judge Dread-ing and Rock Stead...yÖ

    142. My budget
    *This verse is nonexistent as we ran out of budget to get more writers on the team and had to cut corners this time. We apologize*

    143. Mighty Number 9
    Ur face is more glitchy than my game
    Ill throw a bricked Wii-U at ur face
    Iíd actually try but no one tried with my game so thereís no point, or something
    But hey, a short verse is better than nothing

    144. Pat Harrington Jr.
    Im gonna take my raps One Day At A Time
    *One day later*
    Easy Come Easy Go fuck yourself in the eye
    *One day later*
    If I was in Cleveland, id be Hot in Cleveland
    *One day later*
    After this rap you wont make a Speedy recovery, man
    *One day later*
    What do you mean im getting cut cuz im taking too long?
    *One day later*
    Fuck you anyways, i can find a better song

    145. Blurry Krabs
    *When your the third meme in the battle thats like this*
    *When you realize you used the wrong your, shit*
    *When you realize u suck but ur still the best rapper here*
    *When..uh...ur not a queer like these douches over here*
    *When you read Know Your Meme for context and info but they barely have any memes*
    *When you realize you ARENT the Dankest meme of 2016*

    146. Keemstarís channel probably
    What is up, ladies and gentlemen? I am just.. I-I-I'm completely fucking pissed. I was gonna write a rap for this battle, and I just figured I just need to talk, I just need to fucking talk. I don't understand why I'm still getting hate. I have debunked all this fucking bullshit slanderous claims that have been made about me.

    147. Leonard Cohen
    Now Iíve heard there was a really good rap
    That Iím going to do, because Iím the crap
    But you donít really care for good raps, do you?
    It goes like this
    Iím sick, you bitch
    Iíll make you fall, so suck my dick
    Now you all must worship my raps like Hallelujah
    Hallelujahhhhh

    148. Ann Morgan Guilbert
    You need Millie Help getting a life
    Which is hard because youíre all dead.. Right..
    I am Fran Fine with kicking all of your asses
    Gonna hit you on the face gonna punch you in the glasses oh no

    149. Doris Roberts
    Everybody loves Raymond, but everyone hates you
    Ill shoot you to the Havest Moon
    Then youíll suffocate and die, Good Luck Ms. Jackoff
    My raps are Something Wild, this is no Way To Treat a Lady
    Ill take your ass out at the count of one two three
    Like my raps, Im Number One With The Bullet
    Your raps are garbage and theyíre total bullshit
    Ill slam the Door-is in your face, so get the fuck out, im on top
    Lets play Cops and Roberts and ill be the Roberts and youíll be the cops

    150. Pokemon Go
    I play Pokemon Go every day
    I play Pokemon Go
    I play Pokemon Go every day
    I play Pokemon Go
    When I wake up
    I'm grabbing my phone
    I wanna catch 'em all
    I wanna play Pokemon
    All day long, all day long
    I play Pokemon Go every day
    I play Pokemon Go
    I play Pokemon Go every day
    I play Pokemon Go
    [Guitar Solo by Metadon]
    I play Pokemon Go every day
    I play Pokemon Go

    151. Tito ďDickman BabyĒ Dick
    Its the best verse
    Its the best verse
    Its the best verse
    Its the best verse
    UGHHHH- Wait we already did this joke in this battle, shit..uhÖ.fuck.
    Im the dickman and..you can suck a dick, man
    Youíre just a fucking prick, man
    Dont think that youíre slick, man
    My dick is slick, though, man
    Ur about as strong as a broken stick, man
    Not a stick man but an actual stick, man
    My dick is super thick, man
    Your mom was a thick man
    And by thick i man fat, man
    Ö

    152. CM Punkís UFC career
    I am the best in the world
    You are the worst in the world
    I might have suffered a mighty fall
    2 minutes into facing Mickey Gall
    But that doesnít matter because I have no fears
    This is the real event I trained for 2 years

    153. Roman Reigns
    All dead people yield
    Because itís Roman Reigns who used to be in the wrestling group The Shield
    Made more money than Pluto Nash
    Youíre all suffering succotash
    I won three world title belts
    My chocolate never melts

    154. Charmian Carr
    Iíll crash into you with my Charmian Carr

    31. Robert Stigwood
    Fuck off bitch no one knows who you are
    Im back, I guess, and i dont know why
    But i gave your mom my Stigwood last night
    But yeah i dunno wat makes me special to come back
    But my raps'll give you the hee-bee gees, thats a fact
    Me and your cousin went at it like The Animals
    I ripped ur brother a new Castle (Asshole sound pun?)
    I gave ur father my dick cream last night
    And i showed your 6th cousin 365 times removed my fab-40 inch dick last night
    Basically i fucked everyone in your family, pretty much
    but even I wouldnt give your genitals a touch
    I still dont get why im special enough to come back
    I mean I *dies of a heart attack*

  9. #309
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Welcome to Part 4 of this rap battle. To view part 3, click here.

    Spoiler: 
    155. The Bramble Cay melomys
    Global warming is a Chinese hoax
    Daddy Trump said so-ax
    So obviously that must be true
    Letís kick out the jews
    *drowns*

    156. Rage Comics
    Le verse that's the best is mine, Problem?
    Ur verses? No me gusta!
    Powerpuff girls references no me Gusta btw
    They referenced a FUCKING MEME
    Not even a good one, a dead meme!
    What the fuck Cartoon Network
    Oop off topic uhÖ.kicking ur ass like a boss
    Ur verses all suck
    Wait...mine is over? FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

    157. Gravesí Cigar
    Oh, we can write a rap battle making fun of dead people,
    But Graves canít have a cigar????

    158. Pedals the Walking Bear
    Why didnít I get the Harambe treatment Iím so much cooler
    Iíll crash into you with my scooter

    159. Cecil the Lion
    NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS INGONYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA BAGITHI BABA
    (those are the actual lyrics to the beginning of The Circle Of Life)

    160. Carrie Fisher
    There is a great disturbance in the force
    Your mom looks like a horse
    Youíre my only hope
    Stop smoking dat dope
    My name is Carrie Fisher but I donít carry fish
    I kil u like Sam Fisher, ya bish
    Millennium Falcon fly Imma bout to tell you why
    Princess Leia, and this lady did die
    2016 deaths arenít over yet fuckaaaaa
    Just when you thought they were done, outta nowhere suckaaaaa
    Call me Stephen Kingís Carrie cuz Iíll live you bloody
    All of youÖ are only in it for the money
    Iíll tear out all your organ-as, leave you for dead
    Call up Boba and put a bounty on your head
    I am known for overcoming heavy drug use
    And now Iíll overcome you jews
    Iím Carrie-ing this battle
    You need a vacation I prefer Seattle
    Iíll crash into you with my Car-rie and bring you darkness
    You probably didnít make any national parks yes
    Call me Mariah Carey actually donít thatís not me
    I made millions horny with my metal bikini
    Hey Han I love
    You, you beautiful dove

    121. Han Solo
    I know
    Time for your rap again. Go

    160. Carrie Fisher
    Anyways when HArry Met yaíll he ran away cuz ur ugly as fuck
    Ill push you off the postcard from the edge of a cliff, you duck
    Ill give you the blues u whack ass jews
    then ill kill u and use ur remains as shampoo
    Actually i wont i just looked at her..i nean my..filmography
    And tried to force a shampoo reference there, ya understanding me?
    I'll fisher out some disses and ur dicks the bait
    That doesnt even make sense but lets face it, you're not all that great
    You suck more than Austin Powers 3 did
    Ill make you drop dead just like fred did
    This is my life and im glad u aint in it
    Ill hit you in the face with my soapdish
    Yes i was in a movie called soapdish
    Idk why i chose two movies named after bathroom related things, bitch
    Anyways im faster than white lightnin' im ellen ya that you are a prick
    I 30 rocked 30 of your family members rocks and rocked their rock hard dick

    161. Tyrus Wong
    Well I think its time the best verse started yo
    Oh and I was Reclining Nude with your mom and she blowed...me
    While we're on the subject of blowing, your verse did too
    You'll need to know How To Live Forever to get through...this..
    On point my whole life, from East (1984) to West (1984)
    Until you've heard my flow you havent heard the best
    And another thing, your mom banged me
    'Cause I did work on Bambi
    To tell you the truth I doubt she fucked me cuz i did a cartoon
    Ultimately she fucked me because im cute
    And i'll cute you, without the E of course
    lol you look like a horse, a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY Ugly horse
    Like, SUPER ugly. And by Ugly I mean UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    Yeah, i think you got the point by now that my raps are sweet
    Totally fucking hate you, by the way
    Of course you probably knew that already..alreaday...
    Oh and you can suck my Tyrus Wong you jew
    Kuwaete, anata wa anata ga meinu no meinu (In addition, You suck so fucking much you bitch ass bitch)
    Tyrus Wong Will Tyr you out from my overly long verse
    Hoebags, you are all the fucking worst
    Everyone knows im the best around
    Tyrus Wong will Tyrus apart and by us i mean you when i bury you in the ground
    If I told you "You suck" i'd be saying the truth
    My raps are on point, a home runner like Babe RUTH
    Everyone who doesnt get my last line: My wife's name is Ruth Kim
    Tyrus Wong lose to you? Thats Tyrus WRONG, Jim
    Oh shit i dont know if any of you are named Tim
    Really running out of ideas for lines in this verse
    Except im not done yet so i'll try to be well versed
    And im totally not just gonna fill this verse with filler
    Dude, I was with your mom last night, I was her thriller
    Totally not re-using jokes that I already used
    Hold you down and beat you until your bruised
    In addition, ill fucking kick your ass you motherfucking ugly ass bitch
    Shoot you in the face and bury you in the ditch

    162. Almost 100 spamboats
    Spamboat: steve barbarich
    Another spamboat: steve barbarich
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    Another spamboat: steve barbarich
    Another spamboat: steve barbarich

    163. Ghost Rider
    My name is Ghost Rider, and I fucked all of your girls!

    164. Eminem
    Yo, Ghost Rider, you ainít even really dead, dude.
    Neither am I,
    But Iím here to diss YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

    165. Kitty Kallen
    Kitty Kallen is Kitty Killin this verse
    But not literally, killing cats is the worst
    Ill swing a bat into your face or something
    And when i say bat i dont mean the ones with the wings
    If Little Things Mean A Lot then i guess ur dick is meaningful.
    The number of good raps I have are plentiful
    Please Dont try rapping ever again you fucking suck dick
    It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels but it WAS u that made me sick
    Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah Aba Daba Honeymoon ďBťsame Mucho Oba Oba Yah-Ta-Ta, Yah-Ta-Ta
    Those are actual song names by me, by the way

    166. Walt Disney vs. Seth MacFarlane
    Itís seems today, that all you see,
    Are shitty Family Guy compilations on Youtube
    (VERSE NOT DONE YET)

    167. A bunch of dudes in Syria, probably
    You wanna fight us? Are you Syria(s)?
    Cuz after this verse, you gonna be feariní us
    But that's just because weíre Syrians, isn't it, you racists?
    Ooh you must get so pissed
    That your dicks are too small to fuck a bitch

    168. Suicide Squad
    Well i guess we did kinda died
    But none of us committed suicide
    Squad so itís a misleading name
    I guess the movie was kinda lame

    169. Batman v Superman
    But not as lame as this one
    Watching this movie was like sticking A PENIS IN YOUR BUM
    It hurts to watch this movie it wasnít even groovy
    Oh fuck this verse was bad and now weíre losing

    170. The asterisk next to your name
    Suck my dick made of stars.
    *********
    ******************
    ******************
    ******************
    ******************
    ******************
    ******************
    *******************************
    **********************************
    ************** ****************
    ************** *****************
    ************* **************
    ********* **********

    171. Carl the Cuck
    ARE U KIDDING ME i didnt even die
    Iíll give you my special cuck pie
    My rhymes might be shit but you are shitter
    And iím going to explain to you how trump is like hitler
    *carl the cuck gets shot by thanks obama*

    172. Thanks Obama
    Trump is not hitler we need to work with him now
    To make sure america is not shit like a cow
    But i guess now you can say ďthanks trumpĒ
    Cause iím leaving the white house you chump
    KISS MY RUMP
    Oooooh

    173. Bryce Dejean-Jones
    Yo bitch I ainít dennis rodman
    but I got shot in the abdomen
    I played for the pelicans but not the bird
    this is a summary from wikipedia ft. aodnald stampedes are caused by herds

    174. Black Panther Sr. (from the movie)
    I've senior rapping and im not impressed
    Just like the fans of Thor movies, i lost interest
    Ill blow you up like that guy blew me up
    Your lyrics will be Panned-ther cuz they suck
    Youíll Marvel over how great my lines are
    Id say thereíll be a Civil War about whoís the victor
    But we all know its me, so theres no need for a war
    Your raps are Claws encounters of the worst kind
    Youíre the worst lyricist ever of all time
    Its Black Pan...there vs Superghey and youíll flop more than BvS
    Ill destroy all 173 of you and prove im da best

    175. The Chat
    Ö bloop.
    Well then
    SEX PONIES
    SoÖ
    Hi
    Hey
    ...bloop.
    Well then
    Oh shit, 8 posts in a row, now I will get infracted for a rule that makes no sense :^)

    Wiki version
    o/
    o/
    Ded

    176. Pop
    Oh no, Pop is dead, long live Pop
    All of this terrible rappingís gotta stop
    One final line of coke to jack him off
    One final line of rap to finish this verse off

    177. Leafyís Chin
    I assume this Leafy guy grew a beard? Or did he cut off his chin?
    I dont care im just gonna assume beard and hope im right, so ill begin
    Im as strong as a rock, youíre as strong as a leaf
    The most over rated people ive ever seen
    Leafy is here to kick your ass
    Oh shit i found out its cuz he has no chin but im too lazy to go back
    My lack of a chin is equal to your lack of good lines
    Ill find your girlfriend and show her a good time
    By taking her to a park or something, i dont want her to cheat on you
    But what I do want is to see you beat on, dude
    You better chin up, theres no shame in losing to me
    So leaf us alone and go suck a peepee

    178. Joey Feek
    My rhymes are on Feek, your raps stink
    My raps are 14/13, your rhymes smell like feet
    You got candy raps, Reeseís Feek-ees
    In this ecosystem im the dominant Feek-eez
    Youíre gonna try to win? You sure you can Duet?
    Ill bury you like a count-tree, youíll never get a love duet
    I dont even have a discography on wikipedia
    Even though im a musician so thats kinda needed...uh..
    So Feek you and Feek your raps too
    You jew, Feek your mom too

    179. Common sense
    Yo man iím common sense
    Iím sturdy like a fence
    Why would anyone like Mike Pence
    That goes against me, Common Sense
    Ugh
    I guess iím dead now though
    Oh fuck i just stubbed my toe

    180. The Bernie Baby
    I just googled this and omg wtf I love babies this has to be the saddest death yet :C
    But not as sad as your pathetic existence #rekt

    181. Kenny McCormick
    Iím back from the dead and Iím after your head
    *dies again*

    182. Will Smithís Dad
    To begin, this is a tale of how y very existence was twisted and transformed in a most peculiar way. Please have a seat, for I wish to take a moment to relate to you the fascinating odyssey which ultimately led to my reign as the Prince of Bel-Air. I was sired and reared in West Philadelphia. As a lad, most of my time was spent at the neighborhood recreation center where I would laze about and relax in a most charming manner Ė that is, when I was not engaging my chums in a friendly game of basketball at the schoolhouse. Around this time, two young hooligans had begun to stage a campaign of vandalism and intimidation in my neighborhood. When my mother discovered I had had a bit of an altercation with the ruffians, she insisted I leave town at once and take up lodgings with my aunt and uncle in Bel-Air. As the taxi approached, heeding my beckoning whistle, I could discern the word ďFRESHĒ emblazoned upon its license plate, and to-*shot*

    183. No Manís Sky
    Weíre gonna have a huge, entertaining verse for everyone to read.
    Itís gonna have so many good lines that weíll be in the lead.
    Just watch, itíll be great. Plus itíll have multiplayer somehow!
    If you want to see how to have a good verse, Iíll show you how.
    Just watchÖ

    184. Leslie H. Martinson
    I lived to 101
    I directed the 1966 Batman so youíre done son
    The H stands for Hate u
    And your game, like, totally blew

    185. Abraham Lincoln
    Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah
    Iíll feed you my oversized cock
    Iíve heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ
    Probably because thereís no thoughtful discussion in TJB
    Iím so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit
    And since Iím sick of it I should probably quit
    Iím sorry did I say something that isnít that funny
    Thatís the best part of TJB you ainít gotta be funny
    And if I do win this battle Iíll Sparta kick you out the door
    I won with my beard in the freakin Civil War
    Hereís an equal opportunity smackdown in the Paul vs Dicks sequel
    Thatís of the people (smacks a third of people there), by the people (smacks another third), for the people (smacks a third), eagleeeeeeeeeeeeee


    186. Alex Jonesí credibility (for the 567th time in a row)
    I lost all Credibility like youíre gonna lose this battle
    Ill kick your ass 567 times and brand u like cattle
    I dont know why iíd do that to be honest
    But its the best i could come up with so dont be too hard on us
    After this verse thereíll be a war on your mind
    About how much you can possibly suck at life
    This is an infowar and thereíll be hell to pay
    When i kick your ass from here to bombay
    Idk why there specifically its just a place i came up with
    I hope thats the way you spell it ;-;

    187. Rod Temperton
    Youíre gonna throw a Temperton-trume when you see how good my raps are
    Youíre gonna love my rod when i shove it in your ass, brah
    Every night your girl is like ďBaby, come to meĒ
    And i do more than come TO her i come ON her, you see
    I wrote song for Michael Jackson
    You Ďd stroke a male prostituteís dick for crack, man
    Ill show you the Razzle Dazzle then ill STOMP! You out
    I wrote Thriller, that should show you im not fucking around
    Im pressin all your buttons like they were a keyboard
    Id finish this verse but im too old and bored so...yeahÖ.

    188. Wonder Woman vs. Xena
    EPIC RAP BATTLES OF NON EXISTENCE
    WONDER WOMAN
    VERSUS
    XENA
    BEGIN

    WW:
    You suck dick

    Xena
    You ARE a dick

    WW:
    You wont lasso long against me

    Xena:
    My tits are bigger than youíll ever be

    WHO WON?
    WHOíS NEXT?
    YOU DONT DECIDE
    A battle within a battle? INCEPTION
    INCEPIC RAP BATTLES OF NOTHING

    189. Alucard
    Woh emoc ni yreve eceip fo aidem Iím ni on eno nac ezilaer i evah gnihtemos ot od htiw Alucard? Ti's adnik suoivbo syugÖ
    Yawyna hu...uoy kcus erom naht Drawde morf Thgiliwt skcus kcid
    Tahw od uoy naem tahtís a detad ekoj?
    Iím ekil 008 sraey dlo, nodít emalb em rof gnieb a ELTTIL tuo fo etad?!

    190. Omar Mateen
    HOLY SHIT THIS GUY IS THE TERRORIST WHO SHOT THE GAY CLUB UP
    I DONíT WANT TO GET BANNED SO IíMMA SHUT THE FUCK UP
    Isis

    191. Chiyonofuji
    Ill SumOWN you, Ill take all you have
    But you have nothin but crap raps
    So step into the ring and see how long you endure
    But remember im the reason they created M for mature
    Except i didnt do that and that was just a reference, mate
    No hate, no bate, just go masturbate
    Chiyonofujck you, alright? God, youíre awful
    But not as awful as uhÖ Samuel
    I dont even know who Samuel is, i was told he sucks dick
    But not as much dick that YOU DID OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    192. Ricky Harris
    u cant step to me, im Ricky Harris, son
    Ill kill all u fuckers including Rick harrison
    Ill show my dick to your hairy son
    And..your face is so ugly that its scary, son
    Cuz he stole my name even though I think he's older
    That copycat bitch u cna suk my boner
    Everybody Hates CHris but not as much as they hate you
    Simon Sez ur an ugly as fuck jew
    Im in the fastlane, you're as slow as a bone
    You think you're a better rappe rbut you arent that well known
    u didnt wanna get beat by me? Oh well, thems the breaks
    I dont even know if that makes sense but i thought it was clever idk...u..fakes...
    Your mother thou art loosed which means she's loose in bead
    I gave her my Bones and she gave me head
    Yes bones, i have multiple dicks
    And im rapping against multiple dicks
    Ill kneed you like Dough Boys
    But no one needs you you ugly boys
    You must be High School High to come at me bro
    So Boss'n shut the fuck up cuz my raps are dope

  10. #310
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Welcome to Part 5 of this rap battle. To view part 4, click here.

    Spoiler: 
    193. All of the ideas that we suggested but didn’t get used
    Why didn’t you let us be used
    You JEWS

    194. Abe Vigoda
    Abe Vigoda is dead



    195. Hadrian
    A long ass time ago, Hadrian died in Baiae
    And not much has happened to him since that because he’s dead
    So yeah.

    196. Pink Floyd
    How we wish we were here
    We hit a wall but that’s alright just have a beer
    You all must think that you’re pretty funny
    Money

    197. Pete Burns
    I’ll Pete Burn you
    Like my plastic surgery I’ll ruin you

    198. Juan Gabriel
    °Van a joder vosotros!
    *°Graban tus trollos y elfos caballeros,
    Y tus Entos y tus Orcos y tus Wargs y tus stinges,
    Tus denanos y Glamdringes!
    Puta mierda no estŠ esa batalla, mi culpa, °Lo siento!
    *Muriů sin embargo, muriů, Polar no me dejů mirarlo, asŪ que...*


    199. Total Nonstop Action
    We’re fucking in MURICA so speak MURICAN
    And try to have a better verse, though i don't think you can
    I’ll RKO you into a bed of Spikes
    And then rip off the spikes from the bed and stab you like a knife
    I'll Smash your head in like a Pumpkin if ur havin a giggle there, m8?
    Unlike wrestlin’ THIS AIN’T FAKE
    It’s Total Nonstop good raps from yours truly
    And you suck more than Hulk Hogan’s acting in his movies

    200. Everyone who died in 2014 and 2015 who didn’t make it into a TJB because there was only a deaths’ battle for 2013 and now 2016
    *Millions of people rap at the same time, making it impossible to make out what they’re saying. There’s probably something about Sam sucking.*

    201. The 3.5 mm jack
    Nice try, Jack, the Joker’s laughing back at yooooooooooouuuu
    *Gets ripped out of an iPhone’s circuitry because thinness is best*

    202. Pat Conroy
    Call me Donald because that’s my first name
    Call me The Donald because I’m gonna win mayn
    Because I am the best The Great writer of Great Santini
    I’ll cut you into a sushi made of expert linguini

    203. 2016
    I am almost dead and hopefully will be forgotten
    And hopefully you guys too #gotten

    204. Vine
    Yo yo yo ill hang you with a vine
    Cuz my raps are divi- *Gets cut off cuz he only has seven seconds*

    205. Gloria DeHaven
    You better find a safe Haven from my rap skills
    Cuz i got skillz to pay the billz, u gonna get the chillz
    This battle will end with me scoring a Metro-GoldWIN
    Your verses sucked dick before they even begin
    Ill The Girl Rush into you with..with.. MY CAAAARRRR
    You’ll lose all Ryan Hope when battling me, you’re LAME
    Ill walk on u like I walked on the hollywood walk of fame
    You’re all ugly on jews best Lost at Sea
    So go sail and Go suck on these….nothing since im a girl

    206. My will to live
    *Will to live kills itself because it too has no will to live.*

    207. Motivation to Write

    Yeah, I got nothing
    Sorry.

    208. Alan Rickman
    Avada kedavra! I cause all the drama!
    I strike fear into people like a big, bad, bomb-ah!
    Presidential like Barack Obama!
    But, hiding in a cave like Barack Osama!
    I’ve played Snape, and I killed Dumbledore.
    Uh... what can I rhyme that with?
    *googles rhymes with Dumbledore*
    Let’s see.... Rhymezone... no...
    Oh, I know!
    Your mom’s a whore!
    I’m the toppest kek and the toppest gun!
    By the Hammer of Grabthar, I’ve officially won!
    O wait im a wizard im not supposed to kno wat a gun is…

    209. John McLaughlin
    Hello it’s your fucking man (the host) John McLaughlin
    Try to fight me I’ll be John Mc-Laughin
    Call me John MC Laughlin because I’m an MC
    I’ve got rad flows and I’m a real mothaphuckin G
    I’ll impale you on a steeple
    I hate black people
    WAIT SHIT I JUST NEEDED A RHYME I DIDN’T MEAN THAT
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    210. John Saunders
    See? The guy above me is a fucking racist
    We all know who the winner of this race is
    Even though this isn't really a race, more of a rap contest
    Which is really just poetry to a repetitive beat, and it's the best
    I worked for the NBA, there’s nothing you can NBSay
    That will be that NBGreat against me O-NB-Kay?
    Ill rip the basketball hoop out of the ground and beat you with it
    Except im probably not that strong, especially since im dead
    So go puck yourself and look at this hockey net that i just found
    When I say go ill be ready to throw...it on you
    After this verse you’ll all DIEabetes
    Cuz all of you together still can't ever beat me
    I’d eat you alive…

    211. Ronnie Corbett
    I corBET I’ll win this fight
    If I need to do so, to call up my friend Ronald William George Barker to help I might
    Call me Ronnie Reagan cuz I’ll kick your ass commie
    Then call me daddy Ronnie cuz I did your mommy

    212. Victoria Wood
    If you wanna battle me, it’s Up to You, Porky
    Wait I’m the one coming into this battle so nobody
    Is asking me to fight, I just did it on my own
    Well DAMMIT I’ll smack some New Faces today yo-ne
    Call me Housewife 49 because that was my show
    Call you a JEW because you are. Yo.
    I starred in Pat and Margaret
    It was so hard to avoid a Wood joke holy shit

    213. Theresa Saldana
    My raps will hit you like a Raging Bull
    You got candy bars: flavorful
    I was an actress not a columnist
    Call you The Commish cuz you’re a communist

    214. Bill Cipher
    I de-Ciphered your chances of winning this, and holy shit
    They’re less than sam’s chance of getting a date is
    You’ll fall like gravity when my verse is done, bro
    I dont know what that’ll accomplish since im only on the 13th episode
    Not that i dont wanna watch it, i just dont have the time, y’know?
    Even though i watched Teen Titans which has far more episodes
    You wanna know how to rap? Dont do it through a duck bill
    Cuz ur just a bunch of ducks who lost to a triangle

    215. George Martin
    Brace yourselves
    Wrong George Martin fuck, GRMM is still alive

    216. Madeleine Lebeau
    There are some young girls in this battle, they’re Young Girls in Trouble
    My raps are all about that bass no treble
    Casablanca is a famous movie baby
    But let’s just get groovy baby

    217. Shimon Peres
    Im a minister in my Prime
    Or I WOULD be if I was alive
    I have the highest form of rap-manship
    You’re going on stormy waters and u got no ship
    Unless you DO have a ship on you, which’d be weird
    Why would you carry that around for this? Ser..iously..?
    You’re governmental if you think you’re the best
    Ill cut off your dick and put it in a cabinet
    My first name is what Michael Jackson says (Shamon)
    You can't beat me and the ministry of defense

    218. C. Martin Croker
    If i put my dick in your girlfriend’s mouth it’d choke-her
    You think you can win? You must be a toker
    Why cant you C Martin is a better rapper than you bitches?
    Your head is more empty than a ditch is
    You’re gonna die and ill put your body on a boat in space, bro
    So you can be Space Ghost Coast to Coast, bro
    I was barely in anything and I dont know the show
    So this guy doesnt have that much material
    But ill work with what i got, you fucking whores
    Im..stronger than the Aqua Teen Hunger Force
    Actually that isnt saying much, now that i think about it
    Please dont think about it so it’ll be a good diss

    219. Elliot Tiber
    Take my Woodstock up ur butt
    Cuz I’m gay ya slut
    Demetri Martin played me
    Watch his Netflix comedies

    220. Torrentz (dot) eu
    So I guess this got shut down if this is on the list?
    I wouldnt know cuz I’m not a criminal bitch

    221. ERB Parodies
    I solved a lot of cases with my magnifying glass
    Oh im sorry, by policy, I cant get with a man, you ass
    continue being poor I'll just ride on my sadler
    You're not my favorite martian, you're like a Kelly Clarkson-adler
    I bet when you see us you get massive erection
    When your fangirls see me, they all get erections
    That update you made? It like seriously blowed
    You sound like a 50 year old guy who smoked a lot, yo
    With his Uncle Zeus and mis major dyslex..ia...
    Ill kick you out the door like it was a sparta kick..ia
    You fruity glowing Faget you couldn’t have a duet
    Fuckle berry fegt your only friend was a black runaway slave
    Whats the matter, bitch? Never got a mommy hug?
    Feel that burn? Like vodka and bleach you fuck
    I would rather eat a bag of skittles then acknowledge eminem (RIGHT DURRR)
    It looks like a gay orgy made you their bitch and began spraying (hurrdhurr)
    Stop it with the google girlfriends, instead join EHarmony
    Im the editor, bitch all you do is spit skeet
    Just like Nintendo Power, You have the rap levels of a girl
    You're a ripoff of yugi, hell, maybe even MORE Homo (erl)
    Normally id drink vodka, but not this time!
    after youve had buttsex your ass is like the wreckage of the canyon, fine?
    You're a cow, boy, now I'll round up the end of this battle
    Your rhymes are profound, Driving people crazy, no wonder you've never had a duet!
    Throw down your pads and shove them up your crotch
    You have the inability to make any of your characters caucasian you botch
    These gay, gray, strays have met the price they're gonna pay!
    I'll take you three and bake my family a Thanksgiving dinner. You gay
    I dont wanna believe that you even exist, you're so bad
    If you were actually sane we'd ignore ya, but you're not so we'll show you how stupid you all are. Sad.
    I'm the dopest pharmacy store that you've ever done seen (ONLY TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS!)
    It's true that I failed but that doesn't mean I lost (HOLLERS!)
    Here's a shocking sex secret: YOU'RE GAY
    PISS OFF GET THE FUCK OUT YOU'RE DONE, OKAY?!?!?!?!
    to quote from everyone: Mother Nature's a bitch
    You're an overweight, lonely, mental failure, yeah i said it!
    Prepare to die just like Hiroshi Yamauchi
    why am i hearing complaing by a kid who has his own Mickey D's
    The only babe you get in bed is babe the blue ox
    You're just the gay dancing version of bob ross
    We all know I'm gonna win this rap so why even bother
    I bet you let nine young men ride your rocky mountains with their fathers
    Your raps are like potato chips, ill take one and eat it
    Im glad im not twins with you so beat it
    But your raps are not as disturbing as the sight of M NIGHT'S FACE
    All of you are dead, we keep things in motion we’re based
    I'm not saying you're not good at rapping, I'm just saying I'm better
    I WANT YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PUT ON A SWEATER
    I want nothing to do with this bleached bitch who's braindead
    Why the long face, partner? is it cuz i just ran over your horse? Red Dead
    So quit rapping and go jack off to ben
    Here we have 2 boobs but i see more than 4...hundred cuz theres like 250 of you so ok then
    Ill banish your little deck up your anime anus
    You call yourself sinter klaus bullshit you aint even dutch
    Don't mess with a neanderthal
    I could be a better mayor sleeping in your museum in the fall
    I dont know how you keep it up with that pin above your balls
    Like a cube I'll leave you with a 3rd degree burn ya’ll

    222. Daisy Lewellyn
    I don’t have my own wikipedia page
    But there’s one about my show so hey
    I’ll make you bleed and sweat after kicking you with my heels
    I’ll hurt your feels

    223. Terry Wogan
    I’ll shoot you with my Wo-gun
    In this battle I probably won

    224. Aguilar from the Assassin’s Creed Movie:
    NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition
    Our chief weapon is surprise
    ...surprise and fear...fear and surprise
    Our two weapons are fear and surprise
    And ruthless efficiency
    Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency
    And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pop--Papacy
    Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry
    Are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again. *Dies*

    225. Uprising
    Uprising here finally writing my verse
    You all probably thought I ended up in a hearse
    But I’m alive and kicking like Roberto Aguayo
    I bet you’re not even a guy, yo
    If you think you can beat me you’re surely mistaken
    I plan on bringing home the bacon
    You can call me Tupac cause I believe I can fly
    Pack your bags you bastards and say your final goodbyes

    226. Erik Bauersfeld
    I voiced Admiral Ackbar
    I’ll crash into you with my Ack-car
    It’s a trap
    Your raps crap

    227. Sharon Jones
    In this battle I’ll Give the People What They Want
    If you all want an ass beating I’ll Give You What You Want
    Call me Sha-Ron Reagan because I’m breaking these walls down
    While all of you are just a bunch of sad clowns
    It won’t take 100 Days, 100 Nights to beat ya’ll
    Like Miley, Paul Walker came in like a Wrecking Paul
    Dap-King? Think not
    Why be a king when you can be a GOD

    228. Nick Lashaway
    He played Brandon O'Neil in My Soul to Take opposite Max Thieriot, one of seven teenagers chosen to die.
    And then he died
    Coincidence??????????????

    229. Zaha Hadid
    Iraq the mic when i spit a verse, you cunts
    Imma be blunt, you all suck
    Oh wait im speaking english i shouldnt be doing that
    Hold on im gonna google translate my raps
    'iidha kunt 'ukhidhat min alwaqt litarjamat hudha, tahani
    hadha yuzhir 'an takhudh alwaqt alkafi lifahumm hadhih yantaqid
    nak shay' wahid 'urid 'an 'aqul qabl 'iijra' hadhih alaya
    sam tamattas sam tamttus sam tamttus sam tamttus sam tamtas sam tamtas ynsh sam sam tamattus

    230. Garry Shandling
    You dont STAND a chance against me, man
    Gettit? Cuz i was a STAND UP comedian?
    Your crap raps push me Over The Hedge
    Your verse will Dr. Dolittle against me, man
    Im so much better than you, i was in the only good Iron Man
    You’re raps are disgusting and your comedy is Ikki
    I had a Love Affair with your sister, showed her my Mixed Nuts and she sucked my Dicky
    Never mind the Iron Man bit i was in Iron Man 2
    But that film didnt suck as much as you do

    231. Gary Glasberg
    Im the best Gary, ill break you like GLASSberg
    Ill let you in the tolerable rapping club but you don’t know the password
    I don’t even have a pic on wikipedia, shit
    So i’ll just assume i’m handsome as fuck and have a big dick
    I wrote Duckman, your verse SUCKED, man
    I wrote Rugrats your verse’s are RugCRAPS, frand
    I’ll show you my Bone if you know what i mean
    And you’ll go AHHH REAL BIG DICK cuz its the biggest you’ve seen
    I’ll M*A*S*H you and stick you up onto the ceiling
    You have quite an active imagination if you think you’ll be defeating...me..
    If your wife was in an airplane it’d be the day Pigs Fly
    But until then you’re a dick so go suck a railroad spike
    Your verse was so boring it made me die in my sleep
    Oh wait that actually happened to me

    232. Dubstep
    WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
    WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
    WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
    WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
    WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
    WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB
    Any guy named Skrillex, probably made this
    Though it coulda been Deadmau5 or however you spell it
    Ill dub-step on your face..hard..basically stomping
    I just had to make it about dubstep so i made it a pun
    Yes, I resorted to puns, sue me
    Though you can’t actually sue me, ‘cuz im not a person, you see
    I’m just an arrangement of sounds placed together to make a song
    Even though people don’t call this real music much, but they’re wrong
    I’m still technically a song due to the definition
    Actually wait song’s definition is “a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung.”
    And since there's no words i guess instrumentals aren’t real music
    According to the dictionary anyways
    Fuck you Webster, seriously

    233. It
    I’m killin it
    Aka myself I guess

    234. Florence Henderson
    I was the mom on the Brady Bunch
    I’ll eat you for lunch

    235. Antonin Scalia
    If you ain’t a straight white male get the hell out
    I’ll Scald-ia you with my hot flows in this bout
    Florence Henderson your bad rhymes imply you’re part of the LGBT community
    In which case I don’t like you, or your titties
    I rule that your raps are unconstitutional under the 8th amendment
    Because that’s the one that prohibits cruel and unusual punishment
    I wish I got to see Daddy Trump become president
    But now I’m in heaven as a permanent resident
    WITH JESUS

    236. Fidel Castro
    I’LL FIDEL WITH YOUR NUTS AND CASTRATE YOU
    I ONLY DIED BECAUSE I WAS SICK OF SAM BEING A JEW
    THE CIA COULDN’T KILL ME IF THEY TRIED
    BUT MAYBE THEY DID BECAUSE I FUCKING DIED
    MY FLOWS ARE SO HARD LIKE MY PENIS WHEN IT FUNCTIONS
    COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND SEIZE MY MEANS OF REPRODUCTION
    MAN YOUR RAPPING SKILL IS ABOUT AS MUCH AS PEOPLE WHO KNEW I WAS STILL ALIVE BEFORE I DIED
    SO IT’S LIKE, 12, YOU NOT SECRETLY FAT GUY
    I’M DROPPING BOMBS LIKE THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS
    NO BOMBS WERE ACTUALLY DROPPED IN THAT, SO I’M DROPPING MORE, I GUESS
    IF YOUR WIFE WENT SWIMMING IN A BODY OF WATER IT’D BE THE BAY OF PIGS
    AND IF YOU WERE DOING THE SAME THING IT’D BE THE BAY OF CAPITALIST PIGS

    237. Brian Bedford
    yo castro ur so stupid
    i hope u fall in love with cupid
    who will shoot an air (arrow) through ur brain
    because u are such a stain
    on this earth
    u jerk

    236. Fidel Castro
    I’LL SMOKE YOU LIKE A CUBAN CIGAR
    BUT I WON’T LIFT ANY BANS ON YOU LIKE OBAMAR
    I BATISTA BOMBED FULGENCIO BATISTA
    I FIDEL FIDDLED WITH THE PUSSY OF YOUR SISTA

    237. Brian Bedford
    yo castro u remind me of a flower
    cuz u take really fucking long in the shower
    when i need to use the bathroom so ill take u up a tower
    and throw u off for the birds to devour
    now i hope that doesnt make u sour
    u and these other MCs have been spitting whack rhymes for probably over an hour

    236. Fidel Castro
    I THINK THAT YOU NEED TO GET YOUR DUCKS IN A CAST-ROW
    AND YOUR MOVIES LIKE, SERIOUSLY BLOW
    I'LL CASTRO-ATE YOU
    AND MASTURBATE YOU
    BRIAN BEDFORD I’LL KICK YOU OVER THERE YO
    BUT FIRST I’M GONNA DISS YOU IN SPANISH, YOU PERRO
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL
    ESPA—OL

    237. Brian Bedford
    why don't you explain
    my rhymes hit you harder than a train
    to bad you have no brain
    i eat you up spit you out
    you know what am all about
    no pain no game
    thats my nickname
    all the haters fall back
    or else ill attack
    those are my last rhymes am out
    i gotta hit the route
    nvm i havent had my last word
    i still got some great rhymes to make u stirred
    ur raps are like shakespeare they make everyone bored
    ur mom was with me in my bed in my Ford
    BARS


    (next part is on next page)
    Last edited by Poles; 01-01-2017 at 06:45 PM.

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