View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #321
    Klonoa's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    this is art

    Juiz: You can quote me on this: Klonoa is my favorite son.

  2. #322
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by PolARRR View Post
    SEASON PREMIERE TIME

    Writers -
    Polar
    Sane
    Mooncat
    Klo
    Sam
    Log
    Umby
    Adon
    Maybe more I posted this as a public link in chat and I might've forgotten someone

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/uxGkzD0.png

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Inspirational alternative rock band WEEZER
    Vs
    Inspirational grammy award winning rap artist WEEZY
    Begin

    Weezer:
    OH NO SAY IT AINT SO WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS WEEEZY
    EXCEPT THAT FAT PENGUIN FROM TOY STORZEEIES
    WHY ARE YOU SO FAR AWAY FROM ME
    I GOTTA KICK YOUR ASS BUT YOUíRE WAY ACROSS THE SEA
    CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHO THE FUCK WEEZY IS BECAUSE I REFUSE TO LOOK HIM UP (ITíS LIL WAYNE BRO) HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HE WENT BY THAT MY GOD AM I OUT OF TOUCH
    Iím on an Island in the Sun and Iím eating pussy for lunch
    Youíre not my fucking Buddy and Holly is the name of my ex and she had crooked chin
    Like Natalie Dormer from Game of Thrones except she wasnít nearly as hot and then one time she got sunburned when we went to the beach and literally everytime after that when we did some freaky shit I would literally be staring at 2 sunburned tits and I was like oh my god I canít believe Iím dating this anorexic chick she gives me blue balls constantly and refused to watch my movies HIT THE CURB BITCH
    Beating you makes the White Album my Red Album my friend (ya kno cuz blud and stuff)
    And once your dead Everything Will Be Alright in the End (wait does this count as fluff)
    I drop rhymes like Iím dropping into a half pipe
    Iíll grass this asswipe hit you like a Hash Pipe
    Oh wait the line isnít grass thatís right
    We had an album that was white
    Lol hollyís last name was white but donít search her or anything because sheís with some dude now and I donít want that shit like coming back on me you know? Like we didnít really leave on good terms or anything but still like Iím sick of drama and stuff hey polar why are you trying to edit tha
    We were formed in Los Angeles
    Thatís Spanish for ĎLos Angelesí
    We play songs yes we do
    Thatís Spanish for Ďwe play songs yes we doí
    Wait, I think I figured out whatís a Weezy
    Itís the evolution of that Pokťmon Koffing!
    In that case youíre ugly and purple and you got a skull and cross bones on ya
    Meaning youíll die son and you stink real bad on ya
    Youíre like Da Vinci because youíre like, dead from our rhymes
    You Ainít Got Nobody to help you out this time
    Youll be roasted so black I guess you can be my Black Album son
    Are you salty? Oh well we can Make Believe you won.
    Something something something another reference to Island in the Sun
    Yea I guess Iím done (here)

    Weezy:
    All my bitches love me
    And I love all my bitches
    So ily too mang
    Your girls I bang
    Bitch real gs move in silence like lasagna
    Iíd say youíre a good band but hey I dont wanna
    Young moolah baybay
    Sam is real gaygay
    The Taliban did some positive things
    And they gift me free bling-bling
    You see Afghanistan used to be a tribalistic hellhole
    Where warlords could do what they want just cos they were real swole
    They used and abused lil boys
    Gettit, like Lil Wayne? No? Fuck you
    The Taliban may have banned music
    But after hearing you sing, are you really surprised?
    When Iím in the bottom she Hillary Rodham
    Your recent albums suck #gotem
    You should probably stop mixing that alcohol with pharmaceuticals
    Before you start rapping dudicals
    Youíll go back to working in cubicles.
    If you did, anyway. While I make great musicals.
    Donít actually but thatís okay.
    Gender is a social construct.
    I rhymed started with party
    And Iíll do it again right now bitch
    Iíd kick your ass right now but the nightís just started
    I pray my killer rhymes doesnít take the life out of the party
    She said I never want to make you mad, I just want to make you proud
    I said baby just make me come, then donít make a sound
    The mitochondria ainít the powerhouse of the cell
    Thatís me.
    Remember when Harambe was killed?
    I cried right from my solid gold grills
    Remember when JFK was killed?
    That nigga needed a car with a roof
    Remember when Bill Cosby was killed?
    Oh shit, that niggaís still alive yo (though he should be jailed)
    Remember when Weezer was killed?
    BECAUSE THATíS RIGHT NOW YO!
    Ranger votes Brexit, smh fam
    He hates brown people coming into England
    That boy has some serious problems
    Iíve got more tattoos than a goblin! Bitch!
    Youíre like that girl I just rhymed about right there
    Because you should just shut up and suck my pubic hair
    My name is Lil Wayne but Iím not little
    You guys are a piece of shittle and Iíll snap you cos youíre brittle
    You look like youíre covered in spittle
    And you all are GAY go multicoloured like Skittles
    You made an album called Raditude? Well I donít like your attitude
    If Youíre Wondering If I Want You To drop another verse, I donít-itude

    Weezer:
    Youíre not rapping, Weezy, itís like youíre singing the blues (album)
    I drop rhymes and my balls dropped too (album)
    Your verse was worse than the entire runtime of raditude (album)
    Youíll be White (album) in the face when weíre through with you (album)
    You choked harder than an asthmatic kid, you bitch (album)
    Keep Fish...in (album)
    Your raps are also worse than that shitty rock (album) you did, you deck (album)
    You did do a rock (album) right i dont wanna make a claim that is incorrect (album)
    I bet Lil Wayne has a Lil Wayne and by wayne i mean penis
    But only the second wayne in that line, although the first is also a penis
    Benin is not a country that Iíd like to visit
    But I heard itís where you ancestors came from...right?
    When we were children we would fly our kites
    And smoke buddy hollies every night
    Donít judge us, we smoke to much thatís why weíre weezer
    But you smell much cheeser
    I can rap better than this bitch boy turd can
    Not cash money its just Weeze vs birdman..ís..collaborator on Like Father, Like Son (album)
    Anyways ill take you Back to the Shack (Album) and beat you with a weewee
    And i dont mean mine, im not gay, weezy

    Weezy:
    Jeezy donít be mean to Weezy
    Youíre missin the point like Ebeneezy
    In this area in which weíre rapping in itís breezy
    I was with your girl last night she was easy

    Yeezy:
    I miss the old Yeezy, straight from the Go Yeezy
    Chop up the soul yeezy, set on his goals yeezy
    I hate the new yeezy, the bad mood yeezy
    The always rude yeezy, spaz in the news yeezy
    I miss the sweet yeezy, chop up the beats yeezy
    I gotta say, at that time I'd like to meet yeezy
    See, I invented yeezy, it wasn't any yeezys
    And now I look and look around and there's so many yeezys
    I used to love yeezy, I used to love yeezy
    I even had the pink polo, I thought I was yeezy
    What if yeezy made a song about yeezy
    Called "I Miss The Old yeezy"? Man, that'd be so yeezy
    That's all it was yeezy, we still love yeezy
    And I love you like yeezy loves yeezy
    Both of you suck, I married Kim K
    And I had a bab-ay and sometimes we play
    But honestly I wish you guys were my bab-ays
    Because bab-ay watch is lame without Hasselhoff - ayyyy
    Sam licked his armpit because he didnít think I was going to be in the Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge rap battle. I was. Felt like that needed to be mentioned
    Ill drown you in rivers, cuomo yes multiple rivers
    Then ill do something with your liver idk ill probably ebay it..er...

    Carl Wheezer:
    3 - 2 - 1 GOTTA BLAST MY BALLS ON JIMMYíS MOMMMM
    BUT FIRST I GOTTA BLAST YOU BITCHES WITH BOOOOMMMBBSSS
    IíLL BLOW YOU BITCHES UP CALL ME OSAMA
    AND YOUR GIRLS WILL RIDE ME LIKE A LLLLLLLLLLAMMAMMMMMMAAA
    YOU SUCK MORE THAN I DO WHEN I NEED AN INHALER
    DO YOU WANT A CROISSANT? 2 BAD BITCH UR LAME--ER---THAN EVERYTHING..
    ILL MAKE WEEZER RED (album) IN THE FACE WHEN IM THROUGH
    AND WEEZY WILL BE WEEZIN WHEN HIS MOUTH IS FILLED WITH MY DICK, DUDE

    Weezing:
    Weezing...Wee-zing...Weeeeeeezzzzzing
    Wee...zingÖ.weeeeeeÖ..zinggggggg
    *Weezing used Self Destruct*

    Weeze (The place - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weeze)
    *Is a place and therefore cant rap, but all the residents do so its inaudible*

    Who won?
    Whoís nezt?
    You decide
    Epci rap battles
    Indeed klo also reposting for new page

  3. #323
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    much good battle i like vry much
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  4. #324
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    wheez are number 1 (hey hey)


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

  5. #325
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers -
    PolarBore
    Literally Tupac
    Juiz
    Glike
    Sasori
    Umby
    Sane
    Maybe more?

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/xE3qx2P.png

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible Joke Battles of Meh!
    Coyote Peterson!
    Versus
    THELEGEND27!
    Begin!

    TheLegend27:
    Thereís this one player who will kick your ASS

    Guy on camping trip:
    Is it TheLegend27?

    TheLegend27:
    Yeah
    Coyote iíll beat your butt like it was a microtransaction
    On my great game Game of War please purchase it on the app store for a small fee of $1.99
    My dick is 27 inches ya bish
    Im such a better rapper i should be in league of LEGENDS
    So gather around the campfire and letís sing our campfire song song.
    Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG
    And if you think that we dont hate sam then ur a dong
    There are 27 particles in this dick that u can observe
    Probably more than 27 but dont get technical u NERD
    Iím a freaking prodigyÖ online that is, I havenít done much for society.
    But why donít ya go back to teaching your fingers the birds and the bees
    Youíll meet your LegEND when u rpa against me
    Yes rpa that was a mistake like you rap battling me

    Coyote Peterson:
    Iím Coyote Peterson YOU FUCKING DEAD MEME
    Iíll fuck your girl and hear her scream
    Like me, bitch, when I endure all this fucking pain
    My shit is for real youíre just a fucking game
    Probably worse than Minecraft I wouldnít know
    I havenít fucking played it it probably BLOWS
    In this rap battle I probably won
    And I showed ur girl my peter, son
    Youíre worse with games than Yoteslayaís son

    An actual coyote:
    Iím an actual coyote who knows how to rap
    Iíll shoot you with my blaster like zap
    Yeah I have a blaster
    And my raps are faster
    Than yours

    ďDid someone say fast?Ē

    Sonic the Hedgehog:
    Iím fast as fuck, BOYYYYYY
    Gotta go fast, like my dick went into your wife really fast
    I gave that bitch a ring, with a big olí jewel
    Call you sambama because youíre a JEW

    ďDid someone say jew?Ē

    Adolf Hitler:
    wait i dont fit the theme of this battle
    *kills self*

    Wyle. E. Coyote:
    You cant smack me
    I work with ACME
    So stop fapping
    I rock the track, see?
    I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness (And my darkness i mean an annoying as fuck feathered fuckface)
    Wile you were back home jerking off to nazis (YES!)
    Sonic may be FEST but everyone knows
    Youíre just a ripoff of Road Runner (HA) Hell, maybe even more homo
    Ill rip your asses apart lyrically and completely
    Ill make u run into a wall u thought was a tunnel commedically
    Ill burn you cuz my raps are hot like Coyo-TEA
    Wait im not supposed to be able to talk so pretend these were all on signs like in the cartoons, okie?
    Oh hey whats tha-
    *anvil falls and crushes him*

    Coyote Peterson:
    Can i rap again now please
    Ok so today weíre gonna observe a BITCH in its natural habitat
    And thats all I have to say about THAT
    Stay weird, stay wild!

    Steve Irwin:
    Did somebody say natural habitat?
    Ah, ya want to mess with me. I like dolphins and cool monkeys.
    Blow it up like a puffa, while Iím so fly with puffins.
    Iím not sure if puffins can actually fly but so what fuck ya.
    Now hereís the sting, *gets stung by stingray* What? Fuck it, I guess Iíll die. *dies*

    Coyote PL, san ramon (Place):
    Ill make ur mom RaMOAN if u kno wat i mean
    Youíre PLayin with something more dangerous that an actual coyote
    Cuz ur rappiní against me
    Even though iím a geographical point on a map and therefore you canít really rap against me nor should I be able to rap, but thatís besides the point.

    TheLegend27:
    Just when you think youíre safe
    Just when you think you might escape
    WHAM Iím back for another verse
    To let you know youíre the worst
    My raps are so hot they belong in the Fire Age
    Download my app Game of War: Fire Age
    Iíll destroy your army
    And lynch sambarmary
    I ainít sorry
    Blarmy

    Coyote Ugly (2000 Film):
    Im ugly but not as ugly as your lines
    Or your mother or your father or your cousin removed 309358 times
    Go see my movie

    Coyote (2007 movie)
    Did somebody say..movie?
    YOU THINK THIS IS A FUKIN INTERNET BROWSER GAME FOR CHILDREN?
    YO IM THE HOST WITH THE MO- *Gets shot by a hunter*

    Amigo Coyote (Coolmath.com game)
    Did somebody say internet browser game for children?
    Cuz thatíd be pretty forced just to shoehorn another rapper in
    Anyways you suck but you knew that already
    Ill take one and eat it and by one i mean your raps cuz theyíre like bread..y..

    Amigo Coyote 2: New York Party! (Coolmath.com game):
    AND BACK AT IT AGAIn with kicking your ass
    Even though im a coyote so idk how to rap
    Youíll lost PARTlY because im better than you
    And by partly i mean mostly cuz im cool...mathÖ

    Amigo Coyotes 3,4 and 5 because i dont feel like doing 3 separate verses:
    Why the fuck do we have five games
    Who the fuck wants the extended universe of Amigo Coyote, thats insane

    Coyote and the laughing butterflies (Book):
    WHY ARE THESE BUTTERFLIES LAUGHING AT ME?
    THEYíLL BE LAUGHING MORE AT YOUR DEFEAT
    BUT SERIOUSLY WHY ARE THEY FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME?!
    DID THAT HOT DOG I BOUGHT AT A GAS STATION HAVE LSD...IN ITÖ
    Im sorry for yelling

    Lara Croft:
    I am SICK and TIRED of all these MEN and anthropomorphic animals portrayed as MEN
    Iím smashing the rap battle patriarchy once AGAIN

    Nick Wilde:
    Das speciest, bitch Iím fabulous.
    Sure youíre a sexy female game character, but Iíve got furries fappiní it.

    Lara Croft: holy shit take me now

    Nick Wilde: Okay
    *Nick and Lara make passionate love*

    The 27 Club:
    We made a lot of money in our professions
    You donít know who youíre messiní
    With
    We may be dead, but youíre all still bitches
    Ha get it because coyotes are dogs

    Snoop Dogg:
    Shiizzle myizzle nizzle, itísizzle meizzle, Snoopizzle Doggizzle
    Someoneizzle pleaseizzle helpizzle meizzle,
    Iizzle thinkizzle imizzle havingizzle aizzle strokeizzle

    WHO WON
    WHOS NEXT
    TERRIBIZZLE JOKEIZZLE BATTIZZLES OF MEHIZZLE

  6. #326
    Umbreon's Avatar 2016 Gamer of the Year
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    That cover took more time to make than i expected rip
    Spoiler: 

    If you wanna put me in a fic or something, you may! Just let me know so I can read it when it comes out

    Hi, im Chris! I also go by Umbreon, Jira, Jirachi, and Mimikyu :3

    Latest ERBOF - Gunnut vs Lawl
    Latest Album Review - Rock Sound Presents: The Black Parade
    Latest Game Review - Pokemon Sun: Final Thoughts

    Stuff im a part of:

    Erbof!


    Reviews!



  7. #327
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    fuck i didn't finish my part for the new years special

    nice battle tho

  8. #328
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIg-rsuxICg

    please watch with annotations on it is very important

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.
    Spoiler: 


    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    SENT
    lies
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    http://aattp.org/conservative-christian-rewrote-harry-potter-so-her-kids-wont-turn-into-witches/
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  9. #329
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samilton View Post
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIg-rsuxICg

    please watch with annotations on it is very important
    There was a giggle at my line "You were formed in 'Los Angeles' that's Spanish for 'Los Angeles'" :3
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  10. #330
    Rocket's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    a tribute to the best thing god ever made
    Last edited by Rocket; 01-12-2017 at 06:01 AM.
    mom said its my turn to have mod back

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    rocket-senpai makes my kokoro go doki doki
    Quote Originally Posted by BSB
    Rocket you single handedly saved the site. Never thought it would be you but congratulations

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