View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #331
    YellowNerd's Avatar More Blonde in your Movie
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    10/10 tbh

  2. #332
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket View Post


    a tribute to the best thing god ever made
    yu r are my new favorite person

  3. #333
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers -
    Polar
    Umb
    Rcoket
    Juiz
    Log
    das all I think

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/s6TY1pS.png

    Spoiler: 
    Terrible joke battles of meh….
    Gas
    Versus
    Gers
    3
    BEGIN

    Gas:
    Ill kick your gas and then ill kick your dick, a war on 2 fronts
    And then ill waste your time picking one of my fancy fonts
    That i’ll use when i write your obituary
    But in your case its more like an O-BITCH-YOU-SCARY
    Kicking your ass will be a gas and it’ll be fun
    Because your ass is glass and it’ll shatter when im done
    If you win than that means it’ll be rigged. AND WE ALL KNOW THE RIGGERS
    FOR THE LAST 2 BATTLES THIS SERIES HAS BEEN RUN BY you, you fibbers
    You think you can win? K….k..k….
    You wont tho cuz ur lame lame lame
    I’ll put you to shame shame shame
    Then do something involving drains drains drains
    I’ll kick ur ass ti’ll ur back in the face
    OH WAIT U ALREADY R do you even know your own race?
    You having a win would be out of place
    Im faster than you and i’ll win this race
    EVen though this isn’t a race this is a rap battle
    I got nothin rip

    Gers:
    Fuck you oh I’m sorry wait no fuck you
    I hate you even more than I hatre the jews
    Heil hitler is our motto and *bleep*gers are the enemy
    We hate you because you’re smelly
    I guess and your raps arent right
    Thats because you’re not white
    Black jews are the worst because they’re a combination
    You’re about to be a target of my frustration
    I’ll lynch you like sam
    That was my first verse - bam

    Gas:
    Your gi joe looks gi gay
    I’d call you gay but that would be the same word rhymed with itself ayy
    Your rap is weak because you suck lol
    Take off the hood and give my big stick a suckles

    Gers:
    Hold on let me take a break from this rap for a bit
    I’m in the mood to do a shit
    *Gers goes to shit*

    Ok now i’m ready now that i got back
    I hate you because you’re fuggin black
    Your hygiene is poor and your rhymes are whack
    SO take a little break to look at my sack

    Gas:
    Nigga No way man

    Gers:
    FUCKIN LOOK AT IT BITCH

    Gas:
    I’ll own you and i dont mean that in a racist tone
    This aint the 1900’s anymo’
    I’ll offend you more than someone saying your full name, Gers
    If you were a forumer id wish youd forget your password
    If i got aids it’d be Kool-Aids
    When im thru with you you’ll need bandaids
    Except you’ll need more than bandaids cuz this’ll be more than a cut
    It’ll be a full frontal assault on ur nuts

    Gers:
    Sometimes i try to be a patient man
    But when it comes to black people i’m not patient man
    You got candy raps, REESEES PEECEES
    In my opinion black people are a lesser species

    Gas:
    You finished?




    Gers:
    Not really no

    Gas:



    okay
    I’ll shoot you up with tommy gun
    The world is mine ya bish have fun
    My raps is hotter than de son
    In this rap battle I probably won

    Gers:
    NWA more like NW-GAY
    I do a lynching every day
    Go back to another country that isn’t this one
    I’ll fuck you up like it was the 8th Dad and Son

    Gas:
    I’ll gas you you you
    Like hitler did to the jews jews jews
    You’re a douch douch douche
    Wait why am i saying words three times again rip
    Your face are like your raps and your family and your life and your flow and your dick and your face and your existence, pure shit.

    Gers:
    I’ll ejaculate on your face
    But that aint gay mate
    I am sexually attracted to you
    As well as the jews
    But that dont mean nothin
    I aint bluffin
    I just ate a muffin
    Kerfluffin

    Gas:
    Fuck the police
    You’re about to get fleeced
    I’ll put your house up for lease
    So smile and say cheese

    Gers:
    HEIL HITLER
    You look more like a Gaydolf Shitler

    Gas:
    At least i don’t suck man
    What are you, fucking Sam?

    Gers:
    You’re making me so made i might GRRRRR (I assume that jokes been done in a past tjb of gas vs gers but i hope not)
    Im better than Sam AND YOU fo sho
    Your raps are ice cold and by that i mean they are frozen and fragile
    Like your face will be after this battle
    Here’s a shocking sex SeGERet: You’re GAy
    You are a good rapper. HA JK.

    Gas:
    It’s time for a fast rap
    Claptrap yack yack
    You dont know jack, I’m on the attack
    You can’t rap you sap
    UGH I’m so good like Kurt Cobain make you insane
    Do cocaine shoot your brain mayn mayn I’m on a plane
    You suck almst much as sane
    Shots fired

    Gers:
    I grew up on Biggie and Nirvana
    But lynchin you is what I wanna
    Do, so I will
    It’s a thrill
    I’m a racist man, but sometimes you gotta be a racist man
    I’m losing racience man

    Gas:
    Yo bitch I’ll make you my bitch
    And then I’ll fold your clothes for ya and stream it on twitch
    And then I’ll set them on fire you racist lil’ shit
    Your mom took my big black cock and gave it a lick
    Call me Chlorine triflouride because I’m lit
    You probably voted for Mitt

    Gers:
    Go away
    Im not gay
    I play Pokemon go Every day

    Gas:
    Man you’re so bad i can smell it from here
    You look like a guy who drunk too many beers
    My raps are fresh and cold like a cold bee-r
    AS will send ER to the ER

    Gers:
    I’ll finish this battle like i’ll finish your race
    Nothing is worse than looking at your face
    Whatever shit you sling at me would be weird cuz throwing shit is a real primitive thing to do
    You jew

    Whoi won whos newxt yo decide
    Tergrrrble rap bagas of meh

  4. #334
    Umbreon's Avatar 2016 Gamer of the Year
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    10/10
    Spoiler: 

    If you wanna put me in a fic or something, you may! Just let me know so I can read it when it comes out

    Hi, im Chris! I also go by Umbreon, Jira, Jirachi, and Mimikyu :3

    Latest ERBOF - Gunnut vs Lawl
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    Stuff im a part of:

    Erbof!


    Reviews!



  5. #335
    sane's Avatar A Beautiful Sunset at Noon
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    hey i dont suck


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz View Post
    Good job Sane. You killed the forum.

  6. #336
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sane View Post
    hey i dont suck
    Hey man gas is the one who fired the shots

  7. #337
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket View Post


    a tribute to the best thing god ever made
    Quoting this so hard.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it

  8. #338
    BKTurner47's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket View Post


    a tribute to the best thing god ever made
    this is art

  9. #339
    KnotPoles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Writers -
    Polar
    Sam
    Umby
    Sanic

    Cover - https://i.gyazo.com/db091fddb36ec419...01fe5ab267.png

    Spoiler: 
    The Announcer:
    Guess who’s back
    To spit some terrible jokes on a track
    Sick wit dis straight gangsta mack
    I outta stuff you in my backpack
    Yknow we still loving them memes
    Cuz it’s still T.J.B.
    Motherfuckers act like they forgot about J
    But we’re still calling people jews and gays
    And today, it’s Shakira vs Harry Truman
    Now begin I mean 2 begin

    Harry Truman:
    Who can stop this über bad Waka Wak
    With the awful everything because who likes Latin Pop?
    Who’s got the actual bombs to drop on Japan?
    This looks like a job for former VP (FDR: Tru-permannnnn)
    Communism is bad, so you’re probably a commie.
    If I wanted to hear eh eh’s I’d listen to The Cranberries’ song Zombie.
    That song is probably better than any of yours,
    And I Can’t Remember to Forget that you and Rihanna are whores.
    “What’s in your heeaaaaaaaaad in your heaaaaaaaaad” to make you battle me?
    I’ll fuck you up like I fucked up the Japs, G
    What’s a Shakira? That sounds like a type of cheese.
    By the way, I think I’d prefer you down on your knees
    I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
    You could say I’m a True-man whose words don’t lie, and you smell.
    They call my dick Harry because it is hairy
    Your goat sounding vocals are real scary
    I’ll recognize you like I recognized Israel, you jew bland ho
    If this battle was a show it’d be the Truman show
    Because I am the more important person here you’re just a supporting character
    What rhymes with character… hmm cat burgular

    Shakira:
    Your mom gave me an Oral Fixation - Volume 1
    And you know that its tru, man..mon…
    Your sister gave me an Oral Fixation - Volume 2
    And also your wife did too
    Is Harry Truman Ugly? You BETty he is
    I’ll kick your ass 33 times until The Sun Comes Out, you bish
    Which weighs more a ton of feta cheese or a ton of gold
    The answer is you, you fatass who is old
    Oh baby when you talk like that you make a woman go mad
    And I’m so mad that I’m gonna call you bad
    Or some other shit that makes sense
    These hips dont lie and they tell me you’re like in the top 44 worst presidents

    Harry Truman:
    My middle name is S and it stands for Suck it Shakira
    When songs with you come on I don’t wanna hear ya
    So I put in ear plugs for your parts
    I’ll crash into you with my carts
    I’ll pass you like the Truman Doctrine this battle
    My raps are so sick you can call me the Truman Doctor in this battle
    I’m a tru man and you’re a fake woman
    I’d say I want to have sex with you but I wouldn’t
    Your hips have been filled with more dicks than a convention center full of people named Richard
    I’d say I want my dick to be one of those but but but but cream pitcher

    Shakira:
    Call me Shaq-ira cuz I’ll dunk on u
    Call me Sha-kira cuz I’ll kill u
    Call you ballsack-ira cuz you’re like a ballsack or something
    You can’t even sing
    Try Everything but you’ll never win
    If you had a twin I’d rather fuck the twin
    After I like literally kill you you queer
    One could say “the suck stops here”

    RL Stine:
    R.L stands for Really Lovable, if R.L was in your name it’d stand for Really Lame or some shit
    If the Truman Show was about you, Truman, no one would have watched it
    I goosebumped uglies with your entire family full of hoes
    I’ll shoot you down just like GI Joe
    Your verse was Mostly Ghostly meaning that it was so bad its scary
    You look like something outta RL Stine
    Because you would both make children have nightmares ya swine
    I’ll Slap-py you Dummies with my ring hand
    You look like you’re wearing the Haunted Mask, President Truman
    If I was Calling All Creeps I’d call you
    The Girl Who Cried Monster was crying because of all you
    Researching these Goosebump book titles is giving me a real nostalgia trip omg
    You guys may be really ugly but You Can’t Scare Me
    I preferred you in Truman, Truman, the Gary Sinise version
    Shakira sorry I lumped you in with Harry you’re hot come help me not be a virgin
    I’ll give you my Goose-bump if you know what I mean
    Also My Harry-est Adventure is this one where I’m wrecking him and getting real mean
    You both said cheese in your first verse you should know Say Cheese and Die
    Now I gotta kill you so I guess bye

    Shakira:
    That verse was like One Day at HorrorLand
    You lie to children so you’re not a true man

    Harry Truman:
    Shakira I hate you but I agree
    Let’s team up and maybe hook up if you know what I mean

    Shakira and Harry Truman:
    rl stine looks like danny devito’s estranged cousin
    Im serious look it up, they actually look like cousins
    Im pretty sure they aint cousins but the resemblance is uncanny
    I stole that joke from vinesauce joel but you prob didnt know that ya pansy
    Rl stine also wrote like a comedy series about a private school or something
    I read a lot of that series when i was a kid and as far as laughs it offered nothing
    So you should stick to writing horror books cuz theyre ok i guess
    I wrote this verse with steroids up my ass so i hope its ok i guess

    RL Stine:
    I prob have a better chance of being in an actual ERB than you two
    Shakira’s not really super relevant anymore and Truman is overshadowed by FDR, who i think is definitely the one they would decide to use if they decide they want to use a US president who was in command during World War two
    You know, Stine is the kind of last name that I usually stereotype as belonging to Jews
    Lets check wikipedia (checks) His family was Jewish. “ oh heck i was right he’s a Jew

    Lou Reed:
    Heroin

    WHO WON?
    WHO’S NEXT?
    YOU DECIDE!
    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!

  10. #340
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Can't tell if steroids made me a much better or a much worse TJB writer but I guess time will tell


    Who won?

    Spoiler: 
    Bill O'Reilly
    Hitler
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Beethoven
    Einstein
    Genghis Khan
    Bonaparte
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dumbledore
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Columbus
    EpicLloyd
    Hitler
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Moses
    Eve
    Gandhi
    Edison
    Babe Ruth
    Mozart
    Gorbachev
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Superman
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Artists
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Zeus
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    RoboCop
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt
    EpicLLOYD

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