View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #341
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    terrible joke battles are forever
    wrtiers sam lo sanic me
    Terrible Blow Job Battles of meh
    A Leatherback sea turtle
    A sea lamprey



    OK now for the real fight

    Turble bloke butter of meep
    The guy who says that


    Captain Underpants:
    Iíve never seen an episode of One Punch Man
    But I bet it hurts worse to watch than getting 1000000 punches, man
    I beat a talking toilet and some other stuff idk itís been like a decade since I read this shit
    And youíve only beat *googles* Ö oh shit.
    Itís funny bc I fight toilets and stuff so like when I say shit itís a direct reference to that
    Itís a good reference Sam
    fine we can keep it in
    My creator is named Dav Pilkey thatís Dav without an e in it
    The reason his name is spelled like that is bc the Pizza Hut he worked at as a teenager had a broken E key on the typewriter they used to print out his nametag thatís a cool fun fact
    I used to go on Dav Pilkeyís site all the time as a kid haha oh man memories
    Wait what am i doing forgot i was writing a rap battle for a second
    I live in Piqua, Ohio and thatís a city in Ohio
    Our state voted for Trump because heís a great guy-oh
    Wait wtf since when were there black kids in Ohio
    That George Beard kid is probably the only black kid in Ohio
    That doesnít live in Cleveland anyway but fuck Cleveland itís lame
    The only good thing Cleveland has is LEBRON JAMEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS
    Iím like Tra-La-La, youíre like La La Land bc you think youíre gonna win this fight but it turns out you arenít
    WTF rhymes with arenít
    Also One Punch Man, remember when you didnít beat that guy with One Punch, Man?
    Thatís pretty fucking lame, you should change your name, man
    To like, One Punch the Vast Majority of the Time Man
    I think that would be a fitting name for you,
    Youíre like Harold because itíll turn out youíre gay
    Anime is not good itís really not
    This battle is like Captain Underpants and the Sensational Saga of Sir Stinks-A-Lot
    Cuz you stink a lot
    Iíll ban you from life just like those schools in the south did to me
    You can suck my knee
    Iíll leave you like my hair, not existent
    Iíll leave you like your hair, non existent
    You look like Caillou
    I look like Caillou too
    Why you gotta be such a jew
    Are there even any jews in Japan
    Statistically Japan is hugely Japanese with very little ethnic diversity so probably very little if any
    As well its culture has turned away from many religions recently so probably not many religion wise either
    Iíll make you #band like my book cuz Harold was gay
    Iíll Jordan Peele you like a banana since heís voicing Melvin
    My rhymes are so hot, theyíre like 100 degrees kelvin
    Wait thatís actually like negative 279 degrees fahrenheit
    Hang on
    My rhymes are so cold, theyíre like 100 degrees kelvin
    There we go that was easy
    Iím also a principal, so Iíll suspend your life
    Like you did to that weird seaweed thing that I wanted as a wife
    I heard you were able to jump to a moon really fast
    But I can jump over a skyscraper without getting a wedgie, BEAT THAT
    Also remember that Lord Boros kid?
    Well Iíd probably beat him in one punch kid
    Ya bish ya bish ya bish ya bish
    Ya bish ya bish ya bish ya bish
    DreamWorks payed us to make this battle its dreamworks endorsed
    Buy dreamworks and see Captain Underpants in theaters June 2 in a theater near you
    Dont pirate it watch it in theaters
    Now do your verse and lose cuz youíre worse than me...ators


    Oh I dont want more than that
    Girl you better respect the cat
    Harold is so gay man
    Iíll smack you and him with my ring hand Ď
    I would read your book but since Harold is gay I donít wanna
    Bitch real Gís move in silence like lasagna
    That G stands for Garf
    ield and I rock like Wayne and Garth

  2. #342
    Mike Hat's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Jun 2015
    (vague, comedic answer)
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    I had to cut a couple lines I had planned because I know way too much about Captain Underpants.

    Who won?

    Bill O'Reilly
    Abraham Lincoln
    Sarah Palin
    Kim Jong-il
    Genghis Khan
    Benjamin Franklin
    Dr. Seuss
    Mr. T
    Master Chief
    Wright Bros
    Elvis Presley
    Marilyn Monroe
    Steve Jobs
    Freddie Mercury
    Barack Obama
    Doc Brown
    Clint Eastwood
    Sherlock Holmes
    Babe Ruth
    Darth Vader
    Al Capone
    Joan of Arc
    Bob Ross
    Michael Jordan
    JP Morgan
    Rick Grimes
    Stephen King
    Sir Isaac Newton
    William Wallace
    Stay Puft
    Bonnie and Clyde
    Hannibal Lecter
    Oprah Winfrey
    Quentin Tarantino
    Lewis and Clark
    David Copperfield
    Eastern Philosophers (Confucius)
    Julius Caesar
    Stan Lee
    Boba Fett
    JRR Tolkien
    Gordon Ramsay
    Frederick Douglass
    Sean Connery
    Bruce Banner
    Frederick the Great
    Donald Trump
    Charles Darwin
    Wonder Woman
    Tony Hawk
    Theodore Roosevelt

  3. #343
    Samos's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Jan 2012
    Maryland, United States
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    credit to art on the cover goes to Yhwachstompssuperman

    If you want me to review something of yours, click me.

    We're all humans, we all make mistakes, but try to always keep the site rules in mind..

    Things on here I found funny:
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    wumbo write anotherfanfic now
    have nice peter come in
    "it's nice peter bitches"
    ""and i'm going to give you all my NICE PETER"
    and then peter visits the forum
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by zyroda View Post
    there was a girl though once she told me she loved me she used to tell me that all the time
    she had this really adorable dog
    it was a boxer and it used to bark really loudly and throw howls in the night and never shut up and it kept her up and night before the big final exam

    and i just wanted her to do well on her exam so i shot the dog
    and all of a sudden im a bad guy

    and you don't love me anymore

    i'm so sorry i guess i never ever do a damn thing right

    everybody thinks i'm gonna cause problems

    nobody wants me with them cause they think i'm gonna do all this weird stuff that's gonna cause problems
    Quote Originally Posted by TDFE Confessional
    Quote Originally Posted by GonadtheNomad
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    i never lie
    Honest Wumbabe
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket
    Gogos are not 4 year old toys, they're a choking hazard.
    You Know What Else Is A Choking Hazard? My Penis. So you Better Stop Sucking On it So hard, Four Year Old. Make A New Thread For your Spam, You Stupid Bitch. We Try To have Fun Here. And Don't Jump On me About MLP, You Stupid little Fuck. Like YN Said, Go Get Tested Or Some Shit. I'm Tired Of Putting Up With You. Pie Licking Bitch, Go Shove A Pickle up Your Ass. Better Yet, A Banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by PolarBore
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambaba
    I'm not reading past the title

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

  4. #344
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    TJB didn't have closure and I kinda left this forum without saying anything. So here's closure to both. Love yall


    Hello to the few people who will read this it’s the final tjb
    It will be umbreon vs polar

    You’re an icehole, Jenny
    Go suck a pear or twenty
    You cant step to the greatest
    Ill fuck you up more than Gonad’s ****stick
    Wisconis doesn’t even suck as much as you
    Yeah i know that was a random reference what are ya gonna do?
    Shhhh, no tears, only memes now
    Id assume you’re gonna rap but i dont think you know how
    Your rhymes are profound! thats not what i meant…
    Any girl named Jill Sandwich probably is fucked up in the head
    When you drive I cant wait for you to stop so i can see a dick brake
    Wat (TAWWWWWWWWWWW) do you think you ahd all you can take?
    #BringBackTheYouNotSucking oh wait, sucking is what you always do
    Go suck a sinep you cocojew douche
    You’ll live up to your name and be an endangered species after this!
    Wait….they’re endangered, right? *Checks the endangered species list*
    Ok they kinda are but its sort of a grey area
    But when im through with ur face it’ll be a black and blue area
    Here’s a shocking sex secret, you’re gay
    Wait we already knew that so uh...lynch polar...I say….
    Im a patient man but sometimes you just gotta be a patient man
    And after this verse you’ll be burned so hard you’ll be a hospital patient, man
    WHO YA RUNNIN FROM? Well it better be yourself, cuz you’re that unpleasant
    Emo Hitler is still a better idea than half the shit you try, wank pheasant.
    Its fitting that you’re a cactus because you’re a huge fucking prick
    I dont even wanna believe that you exist, you’re so bad
    If you dont understand, let me channel my inner Gonad
    “I do not particularly care for you. You are not very astute, nor ar you very humdinger
    You are not particularly provocative, im gonna slap you with my pinger (BAZINGA)
    I do believe that I have extirpated you in the most unmelodious of ways, my good maam
    All of your half-witted brethren have just cleaned thy memories of their passwords
    Surely you jest of your pitiful attempt at humor to try and make me agitated, bish
    You’ll plea for my disses to stop like a mendicant because your heart is a gossamer!
    You’ll welter from my discounternace when i hit you with my brazen warhammer
    Im a connoisseur of sick rhythmic insults, you clearly must be acting faceitous
    If you think you’re doggerel can even come close to my valourous song! You cant beat this!
    And thus, the curtain comes to a close on my first stanza and ill leave you with this
    You are more vexatious and you are more mundane than ERBP number 8 is!”
    I bet you’re so fucking stupid you dont even know what half those words mean!
    Well thats because you’re stupid, i dont wanna sound mean (Oh wait i totally fucking do, bish)
    And yeah i know i said my verse was done but that was a damn lie
    Because after this rap you will be buried alive
    Ill RKO you and crack your back, man
    All your shitty verses end with you in the trash can
    If i danced with you it’d be a waltz with a pig
    I still dont even know what that fucking is
    I just remembered it was in a battle and laughed
    Like i will when I break your SPINE IN HALF
    I cant think of anything else so uh, your turn you dick choker
    If you think you can win, you’re more crazy than….the…..
    JOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hello it’s me the greatest forumer of all time
    Sent the forum on a downward spiral after I resigned
    Meanwhile Umby got freakin kicked off the team to make space for me
    Hey man remember when we had huge watch2gether sessions for ERBP?
    Oh wait this is a battle I’m not supposed to reminisce
    Now I’m boutta fire some shots and you know that I won’t miss
    I wrote most of Ghost Rider vs Eminem
    I could end this verse there you phlegm
    But I’m gonna continue because you know that I can destroy you
    Just like I destroy Sam everyday and he’s a jew
    I’m mean like Tommy Wiseau
    Are you a woman
    I don’t even knowwwww why I’m back for this fight
    But I guess TJB needed some closure am I right
    4 long years it’s hard to hold back the tears
    But the purpose of this verse is I’m who Umbreon fears
    Umbreon more like Dumbreon, you were in Yami Kage
    And it wasn’t as good as the movies with Nicolas Cage
    I’m the Gas to your Gers, cuz you’re unacceptable under all circumstances
    You’re a goth crazy fucker like Marilyn Manson
    All that I’m askin is why you’re so ugly
    I mean damn man you don’t look snugly
    Buddy I’m not your buddy but I’m making money
    Did you eat this morning cuz you don’t look very hungry
    Why don’t yoou take that hat off you stupid freakign emo
    You shoulda known better than to step up with me bro
    You’re the worst forumer ooooooooooooooooo
    But to be honest that’s not necessarily truuuuuuuuuuu
    My name is UnicornJen so I’ll stab you with my horn or something
    I’m making bank like cha ching cha ching
    I got money and it stacks to the roof
    You can try to shoot me with a gunbut I’m bullet proof
    Your voice roles in rap battles suck
    Proof here: you duck
    It’s crazy to think about how much we’ve developed as people over time
    And we met on a phpbb chatbox 4 years ago online
    And it sucked cuz I hate you

    If we did a 2017 dead people battle, your jokes'd be in it (OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
    Because they fell flatter than your IQ did (And its already pretty low)
    I'll ....bloop! you in the ....bloop! you ....bloop!ing .....bloop ass ....bloop!
    Why is log censoring my damn verses that seal looking look stealing as ....bloop!
    If i could kick your ass, I would punch you. Oh wait, i can. *Punches polar in the fucking face*
    You’re worse than that literature rap battle with beowulf, you duck disgrace
    My raps are heavy, they’ll make you drop faster than a FAT GUY (FAT GUY)
    That wasnt even a joke relating to either of us but i dont care, alright?
    You’re rhymes are more dead on arrival than the forum is dead right now
    While im sweet like REESEEZ PEESEEZZZ, you’re a fat ass cow
    My verse is over, so here’s my last line
    Every dumbass bitch has to end, I guess its your time

    Man that verse was bad but I’ll tell you what’s worse
    The forum currently being ready to be put in a hearse
    I think it’s time to bring closure to my 5 years as a user
    I wish it’d last forever but beggars can’t be choosers
    So here it is this is the last TJB and my last forum post
    I’ll miss everyone (Horseleech the most)
    Umby you suck you’re a duck
    I miss the old times a lot fuck
    Haha the ende
    oh shit I forgot the car line i'll crash into you with my car

    Whoo won??
    Nobody’s next th
    But it’s been a good time <3
    Last edited by Poles; 02-22-2019 at 02:28 AM.

  5. #345
    Umbreon's Avatar 2016 Gamer of the Year
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    Planet Earth
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    Glad to be a part of the finale of the series. Seems like only yesterday i wrote shitty lines for this thing.

    If you wanna put me in a fic or something, you may! Just let me know so I can read it when it comes out

    Hi, im Chris! I also go by Umbreon, Jira, Jirachi, and Mimikyu :3

    Latest ERBOF - Gunnut vs Lawl
    Latest Album Review - Rock Sound Presents: The Black Parade
    Latest Game Review - Pokemon Sun: Final Thoughts

    Stuff im a part of:



  6. #346
    Brad's Avatar Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
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    This was beautiful

    Woah Mama:


    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    when you make a post and brad instantly buries it and you decide that maybe suicide is the answer
    Quote Originally Posted by Sane
    Brad didn't do shit to save the forum it was all NukeL3AR
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtle
    fking brad with his white writing on a white background
    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig
    Brad I swear to god I'll Fortnite dance on your grave
    Quote Originally Posted by Adonis
    brad can i hit ur juul please bro just one hit
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    ďBumbliníĒ Brad sent in a paper claiming to have ďinterviewedĒ me! Wrong! I have done no such thing, and Liddle Bradley had to sit in his room by himself and make up quotes in order to get his work ďpublishedĒ. Despite the negative forum covfefe, the Fake News Media controlled by Globalist Sam Bama is whipping itself into a frenzy trying to make up lies about your favorite forumer (Me!)

  7. #347
    Rocket's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    well done guys

    feel like pure shit just want TJB back
    mom said its my turn to have mod back

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    rocket-senpai makes my kokoro go doki doki
    Quote Originally Posted by BSB
    Rocket you single handedly saved the site. Never thought it would be you but congratulations

  8. #348
    Hound's Avatar Tao of Blue
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    Jun 2013
    East Coast.
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  9. #349
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Stan Lee
    My dog who died a few days ago at 14-years-old, Spike

    Stan Lee:
    Nice try dog-man, but jack was a friend of mine
    That was a low blow, he did his own Thing and now you've made it clobbering time
    im driving a truck full of everything
    i am the high water mark of civilization
    Oh you never taught children anything you useless bish
    Then you probably had no kids you fucking loser SWISH
    Now youíre dead like me, but for me people are actually sad
    Unlike you bish you probably have no dad
    Iím like the Hulk cause you wonít like me when Iím angry
    Iím gonna beat you so bad youíre gonna want your blankie
    But not actually because I donít think people should beat animals
    But Iím gonna eat you like a cannibal
    Even though youíre not a human so itís not really cannibalism
    Iím an old man whoís got lots of wisdom

    My dog:
    Woof, Woof WoofWoofWoof WoofWoof WoofWoofWoof Woof Woof WoofWoofWoofWoof
    WoofWoof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof WoofWoofWoof, Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof
    WoofWoofWoof Woof Woof WoofWoofWoof Woof, Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof
    WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof-Woof Woof Woof WoofWoofWoof
    Woof, Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof
    Woof, Woof WoofWoof Woof, Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof?
    Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof
    Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof, Woof Woof Woof Woof: Woof WoofWoof WoofWoof
    WoofWoof Woof Woof WoofWoof, WoofWoof Woof Woof WoofWoof, Woof
    Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof, Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof, Woof
    Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof, Woof Woof Woof WoofWoofWoof, Woof
    Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof, Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof, Woof
    My left stroke just went viral
    Woof Woof Woof Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof WoofWoof
    WoofWoofWoof Woof, Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof
    Woof WoofWoof Woof Woof, Woof Woof Woof Woof
    Fuck Sambama

    Stan Lee:
    Your last line is fair and youíre all full of hair
    Iíd have you lose this battle if we were playing truth or dare
    Oh no looks like I have pneumonia
    My last words: Youíre like Stark Enterprises and Iím like Tony Stark, cause Iím owning ya

    *Stan Lee dies*

    *Stan Lee returns*
    But now Iím back from the dead and Iím after your head
    You suck more than polar who im gonna make red
    When i punch her in the stupid nose and make it bleed
    Also im gonna beat you to actually death with my rhymes word that rhymes with bleed
    Im gonna spay and neuter you dog
    You suck more than Log
    In fact so do all dogs.
    Every dog SUCKS

    Snoop Dogg:
    Stan Lee I did yo' momma Doggystyle
    I be rap battlin you up in dis place like itz 8 Mile
    Yo ass gotta take a vacation, I prefer Seattle
    I'ma smoke some chronic n' then I be bout ta git back ta tha battle
    *smokes some weed*
    Yo dem hoes what tha fuck was goin on again...
    Oh yeah, I be facin Stan Lee up in a rap battle, mah friend
    Stan Lee, prepare ta hook up yo' end
    I be readin Oyasumi Punpun right now n' itz pretty interesting
    This ass rippin I be givin you is fairly devastatin
    With just one snap I be bout ta tear you up in half
    Git outta mah path or I be bout ta kick yo' ass
    Call me tha Hulk cuz I be buff yo' hoe can't git enough
    Donít you mjŲlnir me! Iíll split yo pear in half, like I did other stuff

    The Avengers:
    We have come to Avenge Stan Lee
    Except for Hawkeye, who stole our weed
    Your dad probably left because you smoke weed
    im not gonna save you like a cat in a tree
    after dubbed over blues clues my show comes on next
    then me and my family will have the s e x
    im unfunny boi you can call me jake paul
    my favorite season is fucking fall
    my penis size when erect is around 5-7 inches
    im fucking bitches dab

    Walt Disneyís frozen head:
    My raps are cold like myself
    Cuz I was cryogenically frozen: ice shelf
    I donít own the Terrible Joke Battles of Meh
    But theyíre back in business, thank Yahweh
    I may just be a head but it must be said
    That I am Vermounting all of your wives in bed

    *3 minute instrumental outro*

  10. #350
    Baldy Jr's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Feb 2012
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    polar this was pretty epic how did you get stan lee to write his own lines

    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real


    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    itís my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

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