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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #361
    Moonjik's Avatar Fine Red Wine
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    20-WON savage
    But,░in░truth,░I░have░wept░too░much!░Dawns░are░hea rtbreaking.
    Ξvery░moon░is░atrocious░and░every░sun░bitter. (ュ だ  どいロリラ威萎虞う ャイ意営縁ぇヵ)

    Quote Originally Posted by Juiz
    moon you're hurting me in ways you'll never even know. lets do that suicide, buddy.

  2. #362
    Janet's Avatar Senior Member
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    Spoiler: 


    Terrible joke battles of meh
    Anything goes battle
    Literally, you can come in and add whoever you want or add on to any verse you want let’s go
    Have fun

    Paul McCartney:
    I’m back from the dead after yr head
    I met your mom Yesterday, now I’m newlywed
    I’ll take you to Abbey Road and crash into you with my car
    I’ll viciously mutilate you like we was in the movie Saw

    Cockroach With an Existential Crisis:
    -Cockroaches can’t rap silly-

    A procrastinator:
    I have to write this essay ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhh
    And I have to write this rap too bruhhhhhhhhhh
    I’ll do it later

    A supportive person:
    Do it now, you can do it!
    But not before i do you in
    Like i did your mom last night oooooo

    A lizard with an existential crisis:
    -Lizards can’t rap either, unless blepping counts idk~

    The chances of another TJB of everyone that died that year:
    *dies*

    The black bar that the last verse showed up as originally in the google doc:
    *Is unreadable(very relatablr) and therefore cannot rap* :^)

    Relatablr:
    I really do not rike your verse and i wirr now diss you
    You suck more than a Rizard Ricking a Rorypop does, dude

    Green Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Yellow Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Orange Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Blue Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    White Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Black Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Pink Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Purple Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Teal Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Red Orange Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Kirby with a Yoshi hat after absorbing Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Grey Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Gray Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Silver Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Gold Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Purple Yoshi (again):
    I committed tax fraud

    Indigo Yoshi:
    I committed tax fraud

    Nintendo:
    It has come to our attention that every Yoshi has committed tax fraud and this their verses and their new game is cancelled.

    TJB’s season 7 finale:
    A group of crows is called a murder, yo
    And thats what imma do on this verse to you, bro
    Here come Dat Boi. O shit waddup.
    Here come Dat Boi. O shit waddup.
    I mean u all suck, dudes
    You should all kermit seppeku
    Come with me
    And you’ll be
    In a wooooooooorld of pure masturbation
    What you eat will relieeeeve
    Constipation
    I'm THE SEASON 7 FINALE and this is my verse. I worked on this with idk some bum i met on the street and hired for a potato chip either way….every line in this verse is gunna rek u and ain't nice in the sense that its mean, not that the rhymes aren't that good. Even though i'm not really rhyming at all...One thing I learned after 21 seconds of hearing you rap? U suk
    , ‘ . “ “
    , . , .
    ‘ , . ‘ .
    . , .
    U dancing with ur wife is a waltz with a pig
    Idek what that fucking is
    I just found it on his wikipedia page and laughed
    Like i will when I break your SPINE IN HALF
    Ok im done, next verse

    Beowulf (played by Zach Sherwin):
    I am a strong warrior your mom is more whorier
    Your raps so bad I’ll sue you, lemme just call my lawyier
    I’m an Anglo-Saxon, music expert like Michael Jackson
    In terms of rap anyway, and I wouldn’t join your faction
    I wish I took action to prevent your creation
    Now in a change of fashion I’ll start using alliteration
    Reciting radical raps with rhythm and rhyme
    I’ll slam scum Sam cuz he sucks sewage and slime
    Bars

    Random DND campaign:
    *Rolls a 1* fUCK I DIED *Dies*

    Bikdiponabus:
    I just wanted to shout out an obscure youtuber for no reason
    Your raps are so bad you should be arrested for treasen
    What would it be like if house which is a reference no one’ll get
    But i’ll show you what rapping is all about you lil shits+
    My name is bikdiponabus and i got some big dicks on some nuts
    You got nothing. Thats all i got

    ERB Season 5:
    RECEEZ PEECEZ U LITTLE BITCHESS
    GET HIT WITH A LITTLE FORGIVENESS
    DATS KITCHEN TILE AND YOU’RE THE WORST
    The entirety of jefferson’s verse
    I MAY BE A PATIENT MAN BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE A PATIENT MAN
    IF MY RAP IS A DEADLY DISEASE, THEN YOUR’E PATIENT ZERO, MAN

    A Klingon:
    qar worth SumImchugh? aren't QochQo'chuqlaw' Suq vay'
    im neH padding verse vISovbe'.
    worst mo' rhyme buD 'oH jatlh vIneHbe'.
    sub. nitro Rad, loy jIH?
    'oH misunderstood doesn't chenmoH mugh 'e' vItul.

    The Grinch:
    You all fucking suck a massive whocock
    And i hate all of you almost as much as i hate christmas.
    Oh, so you thought just because im a Dr. Seuss character i’d rhyme my lines?
    Thats fucking assumptious and im offended. Go fuck yourself.

    An elf from LOTR:
    This was gonna be written in elvish but it didn’t show up right (
    *says stuff in elvish*
    Fuck it was gonna be funny too ((

    Epic Rap Battle Parodies:
    *Does not exist anymore*


    Hound:
    Yo what us.min the fucking shjt dawg oooo
    U so warm my gal why u lazzzer tag mudda fooler Hahahahaahaha

    Marie Antoinette:
    Let them eat cake
    I’ll throw you in a lake

    NitroRad:
    Your verse is NitroBad
    And also its NitroBad
    My verse is NitroRad
    And also its NitroBad
    The bad in your case meaning bad
    And the bad in my case meaning Rad
    Just kidding, your verse isn’t NitroBad
    Haha JK You just got NitroHad
    If i was a vampire i’d be NitroVlad
    And when you die i’ll be NitroGlad
    If i worked in lumber i’d wear NitroPlaid
    I finished college so im a NitroGrad
    I hope this verse doesn’t make you NitroMad
    And my popularity ain’t a NitroFad
    I like to play with Nitroyugioh NitroCrads
    Yes i misspelled Card to keep the rhythm...NitroRad
    And yes i added my name at the end to do the same….NitroRad
    I dont care if this is cheating….NitroRad
    Your face i’ll be beating...in….NitroRad
    Also subscribe to NitroRad

    Kirby:
    *Absorbs NitroRad*
    Your verse is NitroBad
    And also its NitroBad
    My verse is NitroRad
    And also its NitroBad
    *Absorbs Yoshi*
    I committed tax fraud
    *Absorbs Beowulf*
    I am a strong warrior your mom is more whorier
    Your raps so bad I’ll sue you, lemme just call my lawyier
    *Absorbs a mute person*
    ….

    Rob Zombie Robbing a Zombie:
    *Groans nonsense, then punches a zombie and takes their money*

    The zombie that rob zombie robbed:
    Hey, give that back

    Rob Zombie robbing a zombie and refusing to give it back:
    No

    The zombie that rob zombie robbed, but sad now:
    You are a mean boy ((

    Dat Boi:
    O SHIT WADDUP DID SOMEBODY SAY BOI?

    Everyone:
    No


    Dat Boi:
    Oh….ok. Carry on, then.

    Rob Zombie after robbing a zombie:
    I just calmly robbed a zombie and it was kinda naughty
    I feel like Clyde and Bonnie doing crimes as a hobby
    All ya’ll rappers are sloppy meanwhile I’m a master thief
    You think you so god but that aint it chief

    Jack Black:
    Hi im jack black. Eventually i’ll do a real verse.

    Jack Black playing Blackjack:
    Hi welcome to my gaming channel today we’re playing blackjack, girls

    Black Jack Black:
    Hi im jack black, except im black.

    Black Jack Black playing with Jacks:
    Hello welcome to my gaming channel today we’re playing with jacks

    Jack Black playing blackjack with Black Jack Black playing with Jacks:
    Hi we’re jack blacks and welcome to our gaming channel, today we’re going to play a game

    Jack Black holding a car jack while playing blackjack with black jack black who is playing with jacks:
    Hi we’re black jack blacks playing black jack while jack black is holding a car jack and black jack black is playing jacks and you’re all lame

    Jack Black holding a car jack while playing blackjack with black jack black who is playing with jacks while black jack black is eating cracker jack and not sharing it with jack black:
    Hi, we’re jack blacks and welcome to our gaming channel where black jack blacks playing black jack while jack black is holding a car jack and black jack black is playing jacks and black jack black is eating cracker jack but wONT SHARE.

    Jack Black:
    Share with me

    Black Jack Black:
    No.

    Jack Black:
    Ok.

    Mf Doom:
    ��������
    ����������
    �� ����������
    ����������������
    ��������������
    ����������
    doritos cheetos or fritos

    Gymnobela altispira:
    Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust weeeeeeeeennnnnnttttt tooooooooo aaaaaa raaaaaaannnnnddddoooooommmm wwiiiiiiiikkkkkiiiiiipppeeeeeeeedddiiiiiiiaaaaaaaa a aaaarticleeeeeee ok im done with this verse its a fucking snail and the joke is his rap is slow

    Janet:
    That was a funny joke Umby it made me laugh
    Like I will after I BREAK YA SPINE IN HALF

    My spine, the first half:
    I’ll break you in half because your raps suck
    You’re a fucko sucko trucko duck you FUCK
    And furthermore, i-

    My spine, the second half:
    -do not particulary care for you
    Because you’re a fuckin jew
    Not to be a anti religious thing idk i just needed a rhyme for you

    Dead forum jokes:
    You wank pheasant
    ...bloop!
    Sam sucks (The meme is dead but its still true)
    Idk i may add more to this verse if some come to mind

    Gilbert R. Cook:
    Once again i picked a random article, you crook
    Looks like your goose is cooked
    If we were playing chess, i’d be the king and you’d be the rook
    I think thats a chess piece anyway
    I texerkanat believe you not okay

    Nintendo’s February 13th, 2019 direct:
    この聖句が戦いが出る日のものであるかどうかは関係ありません。とにかくこれを訳してくれる人はいません。 しかし、ああ私の神直接は90%週末だった私は性交することを誓います。マリオメーカー2はクールに見えま すが、ヨッシーはかわいいですね!

    Snapple bottle caps:
    I’ll pop a cap in your ass
    I’ll rip yoUR SPINE IN HALF
    And i will, of course, laugh
    Here’s a shocking sex fact: ur gay
    You got some great lines, HA JK

    Two face:
    Mmm...i’ll flip a coin~ If heads, i’ll do a verse
    If tail’s i’ll go die and be put in a coffin in a hears
    *flips a coin* oh...its tails...ok...bye, then….

    Two face’s funeral:
    *Everyone cries as rain pours down*

    Shaggy Meme:
    Oh zoinks, Scoob, I’m really taking off here!
    Anyone who says I’m a bad meme is prolly a queer
    *Meme dies*

    Someone having a HEATED GAMER MOMENT™:
    Rapping against you pisses me off to no end you fucking lizards
    FUCK ALL OF YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU FUCKING N-

    73 snakes:
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SS?
    SSSSSSSSSSSSS!
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!
    SSSSSSSSSSS! SSSSSSSSSSSSS?!
    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

    48 Bees:
    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    ZBBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    BZ? BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

    Beowulf (Played by Beowulf) (This verse is untranslatable, but we have tried our very best in order to translate it so you english speakers can understand We have had the world’s most advanced language experts come in and spent 850 dollars at the very least just in order to translate this verse, many workers have worked countless hours in order to crack the code of a language long lost. Enjoy!):
    U suk pee pee

    Ojama Lime:
    Hi no one will get this joke either but
    That doesnt mean i cant kick your butt
    I couldnt imagine a verse more shittier
    And now for the rest of my verse ill copy off Lime’s twitter
    But with pointless words at the end to keep rhyming
    Stop calling me ojama slime STOP IT STOP IT
    DeAtH Is tOo gOoD FoR My KiNd (Rocket)
    Cool ojama fact: ojama culture has no myth
    Cuz none of us believe we could have been made on purpose
    To clarify: im too sad to be a slug, guys
    I now have as many followers as i have fingers, wow! (Apple pies)
    I have my own discord now! Its just me, alone.
    Who do you commision to be less bad and strange (A telephone)
    And the rest of my verse is just this (Its funny)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYdIgIGCEAs

    35 screeching monkeys:
    SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    The fact that this may be 2 posts on the forum when its posted:
    Wow thats slightly annoying.

    The fact that this verse is kinda just padding:
    Wow thats slightly annoying

    The fact ERB is still 2-3 months away:
    Wow thats slightly annoying

    The fact Sam exists:
    Wow thats slightly annoying

    The fact that this section is finally done:
    Wow thats slightly annoying

    The 69th verse (If im counting correctly):
    Nice.

    I didn’t count correctly, this is verse 69:
    nice.

    The entirety of Beverly Hills by weezer (part 1):
    Where I come from isn't all that great
    My automobile is a piece of crap
    My fashion sense is a little whack
    And my friends are just as screwy as me
    I didn't go to boarding schools
    Preppy girls never looked at me
    Why should they? I ain't nobody
    Got nothing in my pocket
    Beverly Hills
    That's where I want to be!
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Rolling like a celebrity!
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills
    Look at all those movie stars
    They're all so beautiful and clean
    When the housemaids scrub the floors
    They get the spaces in between
    I wanna live a life like that
    I wanna be just like a king
    Take my picture by the pool
    'Cause I'm the next big thing!
    Beverly Hills
    That's where I want to be!
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Rolling like a celebrity!
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills

    Everyone:
    Thats stupid and padding and not even funny, i mean come the fu-

    The Entirety of Beverly Hills by weezer (Part 2):
    The truth is I don't stand a chance
    It's something that you're born into
    And I just don't belong
    No, I don't
    I'm just a no-class, beat-down fool
    And I will always be that way
    She will
    I might as well enjoy my life
    And watch the stars play
    Beverly Hills
    That's where I want to be!
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Rolling like a celebrity!
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Beverly Hills
    Gimme gimme gimme gimme
    Living in Beverly Hills

    Simon Belmont:
    I’ll throw an cross at your face
    You big disgrace
    You need to learn your place
    I’ll beat you in this race
    I don’t wield a mace
    But I’ll beat your ass with grace
    I’ll beat you in the face
    I’ll break you like a vase
    Drop you like the bass
    I rap at my own pace
    I’m not a fucking Richter clone
    We have slightly different down Bs

    Richter Belmont:
    I’ll throw an axe at your face
    You big disgrace
    You need to learn your place
    I’ll beat you in this race
    I don’t wield a mace
    But I’ll beat your ass with grace
    I’ll beat you in the face
    I’ll break you like a vase
    Drop you like the bass
    I rap at my own pace
    I’m not a fucking Simon clone
    We have slightly different down Bs

    Little Mac:
    Little Mac has entered the ring
    A crispy sandwich rap, nah! More like an onion ring
    I'm an excellent fighter, like Eye of The Spider
    You're not even good writers, I rap like ghost rider
    That last line means I've got fire bars
    Just in case you guys didn't get it at all

    Ghost Rider:
    You don’t rap like me cuz u suck and im Ghost Rider
    If you had any good lines, they’d be cuz u have a ghost writer
    I choked on my bread last night cuz im a toast biter
    Ill burn u up cuz im a roast writer

    The fact that im re-using a joke from earlier in the battle:
    Wow, thats slightly annoying

    Erboh.com:
    *says nothing because its 90% dead*

    A troll on erboh.com:
    Erboh.com? More like queer are be oh ghey.communist
    OOOoooOOooooOOO-
    *gets banned*

    Captain Trash:
    I’m about to throw out all these rappers like a litter bug
    They call me Captain Trash cuz I got dirt on my rug
    And half eaten food all over my apartment
    If you asked for it, I wouldn’t give you my endorsement
    My name is Matt you’re fat
    You’re so gay
    That you
    That you
    Don’t know what to say

    Umby:
    Hi im umby, im cool and you’re not
    When you die you’ll rot
    And still wont be as rotten as that verse
    And i mean that in a bad way
    Ur lame

    Dumby:
    I smart u dumb me kick ur butt
    Im as sure you’ll be defeated
    As sure as i am 7+8 is 33 and
    You suck

    Humby:
    Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    mmmmmmmmmmmm

    Hum Bee:
    Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmm
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    A big dicked mystic:
    Im a big dicked mystic
    If you tried to make your mark you missed it
    Something something pissed it
    Your ass goodbye you’ll kiss it
    My dick is bigger than his dick
    I got a big dick
    Did i mention my big dick
    Because its 11 inches thick
    If the world was smash bros right here
    Stalin would be Hitler’s echo fighter

    Twenty Five trillion, three hundred and 9 billion, two hundred and seven million, six hundred and nine thousand, four hundred and twenty rappers:
    If you took all of us and multiplied us by six
    We’d still be less than what your mom ways, bitch

    Brad is cool:
    Wow am cool guys

    Who won?
    Who’s next?
    You decide!
    Terrible Joke Battles of Meh!

    A procrastinator:
    Watch out bitches, it’s rapping time
    Oh shit, looks like I missed the deadline
    oh noesss
    Last edited by Janet; 1 Day Ago at 09:09 PM.

    former co-admin

  3. #363
    Umbreon's Avatar 2016 Gamer of the Year
    Join Date
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    I wrote a lot of what i contributed when i was 90% asleep and forgot half of it xP
    Spoiler: 

    If you wanna put me in a fic or something, you may! Just let me know so I can read it when it comes out

    Hi, im Chris! I also go by Umbreon, Jira, Jirachi, and Mimikyu :3

    Latest ERBOF - Gunnut vs Lawl
    Latest Album Review - Rock Sound Presents: The Black Parade
    Latest Game Review - Pokemon Sun: Final Thoughts

    Stuff im a part of:

    Erbof!


    Reviews!



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