Mwork
Hello to the few people who will read this it’s the final tjb
It will be umbreon vs polar
Begin
Umbreon:
You’re an icehole, Kevin
Go suck a pear or eleven
You cant step to the greatest
Ill fuck you up more than Gonad’s ****stick
Wisconis doesn’t even suck as much as you
Yeah i know that was a random reference what are ya gonna do?
Shhhh, no tears, only memes now
Id assume you’re gonna rap but i dont think you know how
Your rhymes are profound!....wait..no thats not what i meant…
Any guy named Jill Sandwich probably is fucked up in the head
When you drive I cant wait for you to stop so i can see a dick brake
Wat (TAWWWWWWWWWWW) do you think you ahd all you can take?
#BringBackTheYouNotSucking oh wait, sucking is what you always do
Go suck a sinep you cocojew douche
You’ll live up to your name and be an endangered species after this!
Wait….they’re endangered, right? *Checks the endangered species list*
Ok they kinda are but its sort of a grey area
But when im through with ur face it’ll be a black and blue area
Here’s a shocking sex secret, you’re gay
Wait we already knew that so uh...lynch polar...I say….
Im a patient man but sometimes you just gotta be a patient man
And after this verse you’ll be burned so hard you’ll be a hospital patient, man
WHO YA RUNNIN FROM? Well it better be yourself, cuz you’re that unpleasant
Emo Hitler is still a better idea than half the shit you try, wank pheasant.
Its fitting that you’re a cactus because you’re a huge fucking prick
I dont even wanna believe that you exist, you’re so bad
If you dont understand, let me channel my inner Gonad
“I do not particularly care for you. You are not very astute, nor ar you very humdinger
You are not particularly provocative, im gonna slap you with my pinger (BAZINGA)
I do believe that I have extirpated you in the most unmelodious of ways, my good sir
All of your half-witted brethren have just cleaned thy memories of their passwords
Surely you jest of your pitiful attempt at humor to try and make me agitated, bish
You’ll plea for my disses to stop like a mendicant because your heart is a gossamer!
You’ll welter from my discounternace when i hit you with my brazen warhammer
Im a connoisseur of sick rhythmic insults, you clearly must be acting faceitous
If you think you’re doggerel can even come close to my valourous song! You cant beat this!
And thus, the curtain comes to a close on my first stanza and ill leave you with this
You are more vexatious and you are more mundane than ERBP number 8 is!”
I bet you’re so fucking stupid you dont even know what half those words mean!
Well thats because you’re stupid, i dont wanna sound mean (Oh wait i totally fucking do, bish)
And yeah i know i said my verse was done but that was a damn lie
Because after this rap you will be buried alive
Ill RKO you and crack your back, man
All your shitty verses end with you in the trash can
If i danced with you it’d be a waltz with a pig
I still dont even know what that fucking is
I just remembered it was in a battle and laughed
Like i will when I break your SPINE IN HALF
I cant think of anything else so uh, your turn you dick choker
If you think you can win, you’re more crazy than….the…..
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JOKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
Polar:
Hello it’s me the greatest forumer of all time
Sent the forum on a downward spiral after I resigned
Meanwhile Umby got freakin kicked off the team to make space for me
Hey man remember when we had huge watch2gether sessions for ERBP?
Oh wait this is a battle I’m not supposed to reminisce
Now I’m boutta fire some shots and you know that I won’t miss
I wrote most of Ghost Rider vs Eminem
I could end this verse there you phlegm
But I’m gonna continue because you know that I can destroy you
Just like I destroy Sam everyday and he’s a jew
I’m mean like Tommy Wiseau
Are you a woman
Or
Are
You
A
BROOOOOOO
I don’t even knowwwww why I’m back for this fight
But I guess TJB needed some closure am I right
4 long years it’s hard to hold back the tears
But the purpose of this verse is I’m who Umbreon fears
Umbreon more like Dumbreon, you were in Yami Kage
And it wasn’t as good as the movies with Nicolas Cage
I’m the Gas to your Gers, cuz you’re unacceptable under all circumstances
You’re a goth crazy fucker like Marilyn Manson
All that I’m askin is why you’re so ugly
I mean damn man you don’t look snugly
Buddy I’m not your buddy but I’m making money
Did you eat this morning cuz you don’t look very hungry
Why don’t yoou take that hat off you stupid freakign emo
You shoulda known better than to step up with me bro
You’re the worst forumer ooooooooooooooooo
But to be honest that’s not necessarily truuuuuuuuuuu
My name is UnicornKevin so I’ll stab you with my horn or something
I’m making bank like cha ching cha ching
I got money and it stacks to the roof
You can try to shoot me with a gunbut I’m bullet proof
Your voice roles in rap battles suck
Proof here:
https://soundcloud.com/epic-rap-batt...eon-vs-flareon you duck
It’s crazy to think about how much we’ve developed as people over time
And we met on a phpbb chatbox 4 years ago online
And it sucked cuz I hate you
jew
Umbreon:
If we did a 2017 dead people battle, your jokes'd be in it (OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)
Because they fell flatter than your IQ did (And its already pretty low)
I'll ....bloop! you in the ....bloop! you ....bloop!ing .....bloop ass ....bloop!
Why is log censoring my damn verses that seal looking look stealing as ....bloop!
If i could kick your ass, I would punch you. Oh wait, i can. *Punches polar in the fucking face*
You’re worse than that literature rap battle with beowulf, you duck disgrace
My raps are heavy, they’ll make you drop faster than a FAT GUY (FAT GUY)
That wasnt even a joke relating to either of us but i dont care, alright?
You’re rhymes are more dead on arrival than the forum is dead right now
While im sweet like REESEEZ PEESEEZZZ, you’re a fat ass cow
My verse is over, so here’s my last line
Every dumbass bitch has to end, I guess its your time
Polar:
Man that verse was bad but I’ll tell you what’s worse
The forum currently being ready to be put in a hearse
I think it’s time to bring closure to my 5 years as a user
I wish it’d last forever but beggars can’t be choosers
So here it is this is the last TJB and my last forum post
I’ll miss everyone (Horseleech the most)
Umby you suck you’re a duck
I miss the old times a lot fuck
Haha the ende
oh shit I forgot the car line i'll crash into you with my car
Whoo won??
Nobody’s next th
But it’s been a good time <3