View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Nicolas Cage

    4 57.14%
  • Marshall Mathers

    3 42.86%
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Thread: Terrible Joke Battles of Meh

  1. #21
    Wumbo's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel View Post
    If you guys ever do an audio of this, I'm up for it.
    I can totally do Obama.
    Spoiler: 


    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Anyone who doesn't watch Duck Dynasty clearly isn't keeping up with the modern world!
    [9:30:38 PM] MaNCHA: Oh, Sambama
    If only there were someone out there who loved you.
    *MaNCHA removed Sambama from this conversation.*
    Quote Originally Posted by Sambama
    Technology's pretty incredible nowadays, you can like fuck robots and shit
    Quote Originally Posted by ERBoH View Post
    All Praise Tom "The Great" Hawk, doing great things with his greatness.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Mad Hatter
    "Yo Taylor, wanna see my family TREE?"

    "You mean OUR family tree,"

    "I was talkin' 'bout my dick, yo,"

    "Oh."
    Quote Originally Posted by Dion, regarding my depiction of Mega Cocojoe
    I think my lung just collapsed again.
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    "Um... I want to ask you something.." ASK ME SHAUNA ASK ME
    'Did you know that 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance?''
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroSamuel
    Quote Originally Posted by Phallicus Wumberius, rapping about The Room
    ARRRR THE ROOM'S PRODUCTION COST EARNED YOUR CONDEMNATION
    BUT I'LL SINK YOU LIKE YOUR HARSH REVIEW EVASION
    AND THROW YOU OVERBOARD LIKE THAT FILM ABOMINATION
    SO PREPARE TO LEARN THE FILM VAULT COMBINATION
    Come AAHHHHN the jhapped ur head ahf and hung it from a roap
    de ohnly lehjin jew lef wahs jur proifhwgwgrwsd on sohp
    ah meen dat rats nest beer has trap sow many crooms thees boom could git maroneed and still eet lanch for a mant
    ahm the emz assassin smack like i did naht to leesa
    rahps so lean call me the tahwer of peesa
    taik ur leel slewp jahan bay and gew hoam, tall south caroowleena blackbayered gaht wiseauned
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo doesn't hit the Bulls-Eye. He takes the whole animal down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Umbreon
    @ Umbreon - Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:01 pm
    @ SaneButStrange, anyone who steals coconut water: SHOT! Anyone who tries to destroy canada: SHOT! anyone who pisses off Wumbo: SHOT!
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorZ
    Wumbo sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Wumbo roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yackerz
    Wumbo's so good looking, his looks kill. But it's not murder... It's genocide
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperRapz
    Wumbo's girlfriend lost her virginity to another man...

    He got it back.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo's Bitch
    @ Wumbo's Bitch - Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:59 pm
    Wumbo, im gonna change my name into Wumbo's Bitch if thats ok with you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    I LIKE IT FOR THE SEXY MEN
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumbo
    Quote Originally Posted by Spartica4Real
    OMG I REMEMBER WEBKINZ.

    I HAD A FROG NAMED "STICKY"

    BUT YOU DONT SEE ME GOING AROUND BY THE NAME STICKY DO YOU?!
    But that is what we call you.

    Just not when you're around.
    Dude..

    Don't go there man..

    Sticky died when I was 7.. I forgot to feed him for like a year.

    Ever since then I cry every night and have nightmares of frogs.

    He shouts "WHY DIDNT YOU LOVE ME SPARTICA???!!!!?!?!?!"

    And I cry more.
    Quote Originally Posted by BobbyBobber
    "Nigga want a verse from me, it's gon' cost a CHICKEN!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Cogs
    Lol, if the bible was fanfiction, Jesus is one Mary Sue.
    Quote Originally Posted by HipsterSamuel
    it’s my experience that usually when you kill people, it shuts them up

  2. #22
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    I could do my own part in half a second, but Pool does dem voices.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  3. #23
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    The finale.

    Cover: http://i.imgur.com/liJrtfH.png?1

    Writers:
    Milotic
    PolarBore
    Uprising
    The Fourth Gunnut

    Spoiler: 


    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!
    EVERY SINGLE STATE IN A FREE FOR ALL!
    BEGIN

    Alabama -
    SWEET HOME ALABAMA
    WHERE THE SKIES ARE SO BLUE
    SWEET HOME ALABAMA
    LORD I'M COMING HOME TO YOU

    Alaska -
    We go crab fishing because swag
    And we hand out some damn good goodie bags!
    We got Meese, and we ain't Caanada
    Me llamo es Alaska!

    Arizona -
    We are almost New Mexico, but not.
    I leave your wooden colony teeth to rot!
    We have GRAND CANYONS between our teeth!
    FUCK YO SHIT, NIGGA, WE BRING THE HEAT!

    Arkansas -
    We Ar Kansas...NOT!
    So just go sleep in a cot!
    Let's husk some corn,
    and watch all kinds of kinky porn!

    California -
    We are Cali, out gun laws suck.
    But we have LA, we don't give a fuck.
    We will Cali-fornicate your daughter!
    If you don't have a daughter, then your mom or your lover

    Colorado -
    We have more Rockies than Rocky movies!
    We don't have boobies, though.
    We have four corners... YOU FUCKTARDS
    NOW BEND DONE AND SUCK OUR NARDS

    Connecticut -
    WE WILL CONNECT THE DOTS ON YOUR PAENUS
    YOU AIN'T EVEN SEEN US!
    CONNECT FOUR YA WHORE, YOUR RHYMES ARE SHITTY!
    YOU CAN SUCK MY STATE'S LEFT TITTY

    Delaware -
    I diss in your ears, don't need a pun.
    I spit Della's Ware, you better run.
    Welcome to the Dela-WAREHOUSE
    It's also the IRS WHOREHOUSE!

    Florida -
    They call use Florida, cause we ride the da flow.
    "I'm going to Disney World"
    Except you aren't, your parents are poor.
    Holy shit, it's warm, I should hump a whale through a door.

    Georgia -
    GEORGIA, SWEET GEORGIA, BITCH
    I PWN YOUR WIFE!
    I WAS HERE RATHER SOON, JUST END YOUR LIFE!
    LEGGO MY EGGO, I'M GEORGIA LINE!


    Hawaii -
    Aloha, I have no consonants.
    I don't even need a continent!
    Gonad was born here, so enjoy your stay.
    Don't screw with me, bitch, I'm Hawa-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY

    Idaho -
    I have potatoes, give me a break.
    You ain't got shit, Hawaii!
    I da hoe, but you all BITCHES!
    AND YOU ALL PERVERTED WITCHES!

    Illinois -
    Yeah, you are da hoe, so suck it.
    I don't need to reply, so fuck it.
    *drops mic* Just kidding bitch, I'm here, ya queer.
    The only state to rule sports in the past 30 years!

    Indiana -
    INDY 500 UP THE BUTTHOLE BITCH
    I HOPE YOU BROUGHT A CARPET, CAUSE YOUR JIZZ SMELLS LIKE PISS
    GONAD'S BEEN HERE, SO YOU HAVE A CHALLENGE
    I CAN'T THINK OF A RHYME FOR CHALLENGE

    Iowa -
    I OW A PIMP IN INDY, BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!
    DISSING RAPPING SHIT WITH PURE WIT!
    I GIVE YOU A CHANCE, BUT YOU BLOW IT
    NOBODY HERE IS EVEN A POET

    Kansas -
    I'M THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, WE HAVE PLANES!
    WE ALSO HAVE SMOKING AND WALKING CANES!
    PWNING AGAINST THE REST OF THE U.S.
    TAKES A BITE, YOU HAVE TO EAT AROUND US

    Kentucky -
    YOU'RE ALL JUST CHICKEN
    WE SERVE YOU FRIED
    YOU ALREADY DIED!
    WE GOT FRIED CHICKEN, SO WHY DON'CHA QUIT'CHA BITCHIN'?

    Louisiana -
    WE'VE GOT SOME RAGING CAJUN FOOD
    IT'S LOUSIANA FAST, DOOD!

    Maine -
    They call me Maine, cuz I'm the mayne!
    This is the Maine event,
    so you better pitch those tents!

    Maryland -
    Thanks for this verse, Sambama.
    Damn, I wish you beat Obama.
    Mary is in my land, and you're all just bitches.

    Massachusetts -
    The mass of your ass can not bypass me, and your raps should be considered intolerable acts.
    *drops mic*

    Michigan -
    I'm on a Michigan to kick your ass,
    and I'll Hardcore Pawn your ass to the end of the block!
    SUX COCKZ


    Minnesota -
    We are Minnesota,
    we suck cocks!
    We be Mini Soda,
    Yoda, we are not.

    Mississippi -
    I miss your peepee, guys.
    Full of semen, piss, and lies.
    MISSISSIPPI QUEEN,
    IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

    Missouri -
    I AM FULL OF MISSOURI AND DISSES
    RAPPING HARDER THAN KISSES
    I'M HOME OF BRAD,
    AND I AM THE RAD!

    Montana -
    Puns are fun, but I don't need one.
    I already fucking won!
    We are boring,
    because we have nothing but oiling!

    Nebraska -
    You can't Nebrask my victory
    I make you all horny for me.
    CORN CORN CORN CORN
    NIGGA, WE DO CORNY, WE GOT THE CORN!

    Nevada -
    VIVA LA VIDA LOCA, BITCH!
    VIVAAAAAAAAAAAAA LAS VEGAS!
    GETTINGGGGGGG SOME HOT TITS!

    New Hampshire -
    I'VE GOT THIS WIN IN THE HAMP-SHIRE
    BECAUSE THESE DISSES ARE DOWN TO THE WIRE

    New Jersey -
    WE GOT A NEW JERSEY, AND WE GOT THIS WIN
    WE DISS HARDER THAN A MAN OF TIN.
    NEW JERSEY IS WHERE THE BITCHES IS AT!
    WE LIKE LIVING MONOPOLY, BUY PROPERTY, AND GO OVER TO THE CLUB, AND THAT

    New Mexico -
    Yo, I'm the host with the most chile roasts
    Assholes made a war and the Rough Riders pwned!
    Shook hands with dudes, Walter White and UFO's no doubt
    If you aren't good ol' NM, time to get out.

    New York -
    We are snobbish, rude, and proude of it!
    You stupid shit, ain't worth shit!


    North Carolina -
    WE ARE NORTHERN, LIKE THE UNION
    DISSING AT THIS RAP FAMILY REUNION
    WE NORTH LIKE WISCONSIN, AND WE'RE BETTER THAN WISCONSIN
    MAYBE WE CAN MENTION WISCONSIN AGAIN

    North Dakota -
    DAKOTA IS MY NAME, AND I RESIDE TALL
    HERE TO UPPERLY DESTROY YOU ALL


    Ohio -
    Oh, hi, yo!
    Coming back for even mo'?
    Rock N Roll Hall of Fame in this nigga!
    You bitch, better come on home for dinna!

    Oklahoma -
    HOME OF ALVA, WE ARE SMALL, BUT WE GOT THE BEST THING OF ALL
    WE ARE THE BEST AND MOST HUMBLE OF ALL!
    WE PWN WITH OUR SMALL RESTAURANTS AND STATE
    AND YOUR IGNORANCE MADE US IRATE!
    NOW GO HOME AND MASTURBATE!

    Oregon -
    OREGON TRAILING BEHIND YOU ALL
    WHEN IT COMES TO SEX, WE GOT IT ALL

    Pennsylvania -
    HERSHEY'S CHOCOLATE IN THIS MOTHER
    I'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER, AND ALSO YOUR MOTHER!
    YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED, THE CLOCK IS TICKING!

    Rhode Island -
    WE GOT RHODES, AND WE AN ISLAND
    AND WE GOT BREAD, RYE LAND!

    South Carolina -
    YOU THINK YOU WON, BIG BROTHER?
    IF WE WEREN'T SIBLINGS, I'D FUCK YOUR MOTHER

    South Dakota -
    STOP MOUNT RUSHMOREING MY VERSE BITCH
    WE HAVE MOUNT RUSHMORE AND...uh...that's it...BITCH
    I MEAN, ROOSVELT, LINCOLN, SOME OTHER DUDES
    SO QUIT YER BITCHING, DROP THE TUDES

    Tennessee -
    WE GOT HICKOK, YOU AIN'T GOT SHIT
    AIN'T EVEN GET THE JOKE I JUST SAID
    I'VE GOT A GLOCK FOR YOU, PUT A CAP IN IT
    OR I'LL GO HAM ON IT, FILL IT WITH LEAD

    Texas -
    YEE HAW, BOUT TO GET REAL
    MAKE YOU SWALLOW MY RHYMES LIKE A TRUCK WHEEL
    I DON'T GET IT, PARDNER, YOU CAN'T RAP
    SO JUST GO SOMEWHERE GOD HATED, AND FAP

    Utah -
    MORE FOUR CORNERS, OKAY THEN
    WE GOT SALT LAKE, AND THIS WIN
    WE DROWN YOU WITH SALT, BURY YOU KNEE DEEP
    AND TUCK YOURSELF IN A CORNER, JUST GO WEEP

    Vermont -
    I'LL VERMOUNT YOUR WIFE IN BED
    AND LET HER GIVE ME HEAD
    UNTIL SHE ENDS UP DEAD
    IN WHICH CASE SHE AINT READ...y.

    Virginia -
    WE HAVE TOWNHOUSES, AND WE HAVE NAVY
    WOULD YOU LIEK YOUR FRIES CURLED OR WAVY?
    WE'RE THE MOTHER OF PRESIDENTS, BABY

    Washington -
    I Seattle you guys think you won, but you ain't got a Space Needle of hope
    We have Clyde Hill, to scale, I hope you bring some rope!
    I'm Washing tons of raps away like they were nothing.
    And to top it off, my raps were actually something!

    West Virginia -
    WE BE JUST WEST OF YOU GUYS, BUT WE PWN SO MUCH MORE
    IF RUSSIA GOT PISSED, WE'D DIE FIRST IN SOME KIND OF WAR

    Wisconsin -
    Lambeau Field is where the party's at,
    Up in Wisconsin we got many things fo dat,
    because Wisconsin is the best state ever,
    and Wisconsin has beer, cheese, and crackers,
    Wisconsin is cool, and so is Uprising,
    and Wisconsin is damn good and not surprising,
    and maybe Wisconsin can be mentioned more,
    because your mom is a complete whore,
    also Wisconsin rules, there is no doubt,
    if your name is the Bears, time to get out!
    Wisconsin reporting to drone on and on
    Making you all my defeat pawns.
    I'll make you mow my lawn.
    Because Wiscon already won!
    You are my bitches now, all 48 of you, proud!
    Take a step back, make it really loud!
    Take it in the mouth, my raps, don't spit them out
    Like the spider in the water spout!
    You all better concede and fornicate
    I'll show you why you don't mess with the OG cheese state!
    The cheese Up in here is the bee's knees!
    Drew Brees should get humped by a dozen trees!
    We're Wiscon, son, and we'll kick your ass.
    We're also a 100 times better than Mass!
    New Mexico? Go fuck a crow.
    All the rest of you? Your raps are slow.
    I'm a pro, I got the best flow
    You now know that rapping against me is like stubbing your toe!
    Way to throw off a win, bitches, you're all unworthy foes.
    AND YOU'RE ALL STUPID HOES!

    Wyoming -
    Ha! GHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

    WHO WON? tl;dr
    WHO'S NEXT? tl;dr
    YOU DECIDE! tl;dr

    TERRIBLE JOKE BATTLES OF MEH!

    Last edited by Poles; 10-14-2013 at 02:24 PM.

  4. #24
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Glorious. Absolutely glorious.

    And dat cover doe

    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  5. #25
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Satan vs The Devil made awesome by Pool https://soundcloud.com/adam-yolosnap...stan-vs-stanan
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  6. #26
    Uprising's Avatar Lifetime of Green
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Fourth Gunnut View Post
    Satan vs The Devil made awesome by Pool https://soundcloud.com/adam-yolosnap...stan-vs-stanan
    top kek

  7. #27
    WWEFan's Avatar Ladybug Pajamas
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    Why did I read the whole states battle? xD
    Some people call me Jacob (and you're certainly welcome to), but on this forum I go by the name…

    WWEFan!


  8. #28
    GonadTheNomad's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Quote Originally Posted by WWEFan101 View Post
    Why did I read the whole states battle? xD
    Because we spent over an hour making that, and it shall be appreciated.
    Spoiler: 

    Act uqa wa it
    Spoiler: 
    Quote Originally Posted by “Adonis”
    Act
    uqa
    wa
    it
    Gonad has no nads pass it on!!!!11!

  9. #29
    Spars's Avatar Bon Vivant of Violet
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    Spoiler: 






    Thanks peeps <3333

  10. #30
    Poles's Avatar Senior Member
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    Season premiere.

    Writers:
    SPECIAL GUEST HEROSAMUEL!
    Uprising
    PolarBore
    The Fourth Gunnut

    Cover - http://i.imgur.com/ibWwX5J.png

    Spoiler: 

    2 Chainz and Gotye -

    2 Chainz - I GOT 2 CHAINZ, AND IMMA WRECK YOUR THROAT, MATE! .

    Gotye - WE GOT YE IN THE CORNER, YOU'RE FAR TOO LATE

    2 Chainz - YOU GUYS SUCK MORE THAN NETFLIX

    Gotye - WALK OUT RIGHT NOW, HERE'S SOME TRIX

    2 Chainz - LETS RECORD A SEX TAPE AND PUT IT ON NETFLIX

    Gotye - With our dicks?

    2 Chainz - YUS



    Drug Addict and Himself -

    Himself - THIS HERO-IN PWNING BITCHES WITH DEM HEROIN

    Drug Addict -THIS VICTORY IS HIGH, A SHOE IN

    Himself - YOU HAVE LESS EXPRESSIONS THAN A MANNEQUIN

    Drug Addict - MY FAVORITE ACTOR IS BILLY CRYSTAL, SO I DO SOME CRYSTAL METH

    Himself - AND I AINT AFRAID OF NO DEATH!

    Drug Addict - You're just jealous because the voices talk to me!

    Himself - I'M NOT REAL, BUT BETTER THAN YOU BOTH COULD BE



    2 Chainz and Gotye -

    Gotye - WE GOT YE KIDS, AND YOUR PESKY DOGE TOO

    2 Chainz - YOU GUYS SMELL SO MUCH LIKE POO

    Gotye - WE GOT MO BITCHES THEN YOU AND YOU TOO

    2 Chainz - HELLO? IT'S FOR YOU, BILL COSBY WANTS HIS SHOE



    Drug Addict and Himself -

    Drug Addict - YOU THINK YOU CAN, EUH, UH...

    Himself - Don't freeze up, you bitch.

    Drug Addict - I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY THIS, BITCH

    Himself - I have been, you heard me.

    Drug Addict - WELL FUCK YOU TOO

    Himself - I'm trying to think of a somebody that you used to know joke.

    Drug Addict - SINEP SUNA ANIGAV

    Lamp - Did somebody say anigav?

    Drug Addict - Yeah, why?

    Lamp - Because I want to rap.

    Drug Addict - Oh, okay then.



    Lamp -
    Yo i'm the host with the most lightbulb holes
    You guys suck more than a black hole!
    You drug addict, I marijuana shut you up.
    And now you, drug addict,I marijuana shut you up!
    2 Chainz? MORE LIKE TOO LAME..s.
    Your raps suck worse than a virtual boy game!...s.
    Gotye, you're just somebody that I used to glow!...on.

    Writers -
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

    Lamp -
    SHUT UP I'M NOT DONE
    AND YOU LAMP, YOU'RE REALLY NOT THAT BRIGHT
    PEOPLE ALWAYS FORGET TO TURN YOU OFF AT NIGHT
    Wait, am I dissing myself? Um.....TESLA!

    Tesla -
    *Picks up lamp*

    Edison -
    *Takes lamp, gets the fuck out*

    Tesla -
    GET BACK HERE YOU ANUS CRUSTING!

    WHO WON? *flips light switch*
    WHO'S NEXT? *flips light switch*
    YOU DECIDE! *flips light switch*
    STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME
    TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES *DRUUUUUUUGS* OF MEH!

    Last edited by Poles; 10-14-2013 at 02:22 PM.

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