The Evil Dead Forum Edition

[GonadTheNomad]

This would fit a YT form so well.

[Facilier]

This would fit a YT form so well.

a wat

[GonadTheNomad]

a wat

a idk

[Facilier]

So there are 10 friends at this local high school
Dey are what you know as "Seniors", a mystical creature we know little about
There names are
Alejandro
Lightning
Renex
Dion
Gunnut
PolarBore
YellowNerd
SBS
Mancha
And Wumbo

Dion has a pet dog called Uprising, who goes with him everywhere like a needy lil bitch (well I guess he is technically an actual bitch)
There also is this creepy guy at the school named Cody, the kind of guy who is always in the corner and you see/care little about

So one day in the winter, Wumbo approaches the gang
"Hey the gang!" Wumbo says
"Hi da Wumbo" everyone else says (Polarbore wets himself)
"I rented a cabin for all of us from a strange and shady guy to stay at in the deep woods with the only way in or out being an old nearly collapsed bridge!"
"Wumbu you dum shit I wanted a 2 star motel I like the smell of semen in my blankets"- Alejandro
"I'm goin to rape you all up there"-Din
"Ruh Roh raggy" - Uprising-Doo
"Its fine, I got it for very cheap. Of course, I have no idea what it looks like, but I'm sure its fine! Its owners are away on like an expedition or something and they are willing to let us stay their for some cash as long as we don't touch their shit"
"I'm gonna go in the bathroom and eat their shit cuz Im a dog"-Uprising
"Where did you get the cash to get it"-Gonad
"My own private fund"
*flashback of Wumbo breaking into Gonad's house and taking all of the money out of his safe and then rubbing his dick on Gonad's sleeping face*
"CAN I COME"
Cody appears out of no where
"GAH"
"KILL IT WITH FIRE"
Renex hits Cody with bat
NO EFFECT
"Fine u can sit on Yns lap"
*Yns sitting in teh car, creepily smiling and patting his knee
Cody looks like wtf bitch
"Hey it was either that or you can sit on SBS' lap"
SBS was wearing a strapon
"Ok I'll sit on YNs lap" - Cody
So they all pile into 2 cars
One looks like the mystery machine not scooby doo because that would be copyrighting
The other is a Don Brown Chevrolet from the Don Brown's Chevrolet car lot and dealership at the exit of I-170 at Highway 40
"I CAN DRIVE SO WELL I GOT THIS"
Mancha hands Lightning a paper plate cut to look like a steering wheel, and Lightning hops in shotgun with it and starts using it to pretend drive
"Gets him every time"
Yn drives that car, while Din drives teh mystery machine vehickle
Wumbo sits next to him in the front with his dick out
They crashed after 1 hour

"WEEEEELLLL SHIT"
"I don't know whether to blame Wumbo for distracting Din with his Dick Van Dyke, or Din for actually starting to ________ it instead of watching the road"
"WELL FUCK POLARBORE WE AREN'T ALL AS PERFECT AS YOU"
"Its a gift and a curse" - Polar
So Din, Wumbo, Polarbore, Gonad, SBS, and Renex get out of the crashed mystery machine
Dey are on a desserted road in the mountains
They all realize they forgot their phones
But Gwumpo still has his gun
Cuz you know
He never leaves home without i-*gets smacked by the recurring joke Gods"
Meanwhile Lightning, Mancha, Alej, Cody, Up, and YN continue to drive
They didn't know the other had crashed because they were ahead since they didn't have to stop for a "potty brek" every five minutes like some Antarctic mammals
"When we get up to the cabin, I call taking a giant shit in teh restroom first and making it smell bad for the rest of the 3 day trip"
"U lil bitch 1 v 1 me fagt"
And Mancha and Alejandro start fighting
"Ruh Roh Spraghetti Rohs"- Up
Cody - "WE'REEE HEERRREEEE"
Somewhere, Craig T Nelson shudders
Renex: Niqqa who dat
"Idk some guy from poltergheist"

So we have 6 stranded in a desserted mountain path and the 6 others about to see da bridge to the cabin
Who will win
Who will lose
Who will be born to sing the bluessss
IT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON
next chapter

*Chevy Chase approved sticker"
Pool: U lil shit

NEXT CHAPTER U DISABLED FRENCH GIRLS ON YTURTLE

So half of the group is crashed on a path, whilst the rest is about to reach the cabin
We are gonna focus on the people who crashed to the side of the abandoned road for a while
Din, Wumbo, Polar, Gonad, SBS, and Renex are chilling on the side of the rocky road in the mountainy forest path to the cabin
"Hey Wumbo"-Din
"Way ahead of ya" Wumbos naked
Wumbo and Din run off into teh forest bushes out of sight and view
But dat stank was everywhere
Just don't think about it
The van is pretty beat up
it crashed into another driver and his car
"We should probably go loot him"
Polarbore runs to the car and trips, hitting the gravel and dirt hard
"MY FACE"
"Now it hurts you just as much as it hurts us"
"OH SNAP A GONAD BURN. RARE BUT DEADLEH"
"Sbs will you take off that strapon"
"NIQQA NO. RENEX YOUR NAME SOUNDS LIKE A CONDOM BRAND"
and dey cry
Gonad goes over to the car
The person inside is ded
"Haha I bet he was a dik"
Gonad looked at his face
he had no mouth
"WTTFFFF"
Gonad jumps back
Renex, SBS, and Polar come over
"Woa now. Dats heavy"
"Like ur mum"
"GONAD BURNS COME IN PAIRRSSS"
They look in the car
"I bet it still works"
They take the keys and rev up the car
OHHH YEAAHHHH
DIS CAR IS THE EMBODIMENT OF HULK HOGAN BEFORE HE MADE CELEB PORNOS
They look around for stuff
"His mouth must have been knocked out by impact"
"Seems legit u dumbass"
The guy had a wallet
*MONEY MONEY MONEY* Renex chirps in the background
SBS picks up his driver license from the wallet
"This guy looks like a rapist with eyes"
"HEY THIS IS THE GUY WUMBO RENTED THE CABIN FROM. I RECOGNIZE HIS NAME FROM THE FORM HE SHOWED US DEPICTING HIS RENTAL PURCHASE"
"Wait isn't he supposed to be on a far away expedition. What is he doing close and driving away from his cabin"
"CONSPIRACCCYYYY"
"Oh god cmon guys I just put Renex to bed why did you have to rile him up again"-Polar
SBS wacks Renex with the strapon
"Bitch I might be"
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE"
*WERE GONNA GET YOUUUUUU*
The man sprung up
his skin had changed from paling to rotten and his eyes were bleeding
*THESE ARE OUR LUSCIOUS MOUNTAIN FORESTTSSSS"
"Dey won't be luscious when I TEAR THIS PLACE DOWN AND BUILD A GO-KART MALL" Sbs taunts
"Sbs u dumb fuk don't anger the possessed dead guy"-Renex
Polarbore takes Gonad and beats the demon back with him
"I find this
.
.
.
tantalizing" says Gonad
The possessed dead guy thing moves back
He takes the key out from the ignition of the car
and rushes at Gonad with it
He punctures his arm with it
"U LIL POSSESSED SHIT JUDY FUCKIN HORSE LOOKIN PRIK. YOU AND BILL O REILLY CAN BOTH SUCK MY DICK"
Renex pushes the demon guy from Gonad and off the road into the forest
"We're gonna get you. Each and everyone one of you. We're gonnaaa get youu....." the demon says, darkly sing songy
It retreats into the foggy forest to the side of the road
"SHIT GET IN TEH CAR"
They hop into the former dead guys car (there van was beyond repair, but this one's okay somehow cuz fuck ur shit)
"WAIT WAIT WAIT"
"WHAT IS IT POLAR"
"HOW DID THAT GUY SAY STUFF IF HE DIDNT HAVE A FUCKING MOUTH"
"I THINK HE WAS SPEAKKING THROUGH HIS EAARRSS"
They all freak out
They get the key from where the demon guy dropped it and start the car, and just keep driving
"We have to get to the cabin and warn the others. Wumbo will want to loot it as we-"
SBS slams the breaks
"OH SHIT WE FORGOT ABOUT WUMBO AND DIN"
The 3 slowly look back in the rear trunk window of the car
Their were 3 figures, way back on the edge of the forest, mouths gone, skin destroyed and bloodied
They could hear the faintest chime in the wind
"We're gonnnaaa gett youuu...."
They drove unknowingly towards the cabin

Pool: Lol u gon die

[GonadTheNomad]

Das epic yo

[sane]

BITCH I MIGHT BE

[sane]

I VOTE WE SACRIFICE RENEX

[Facilier]

NEXT CHAPTER U DISABLED FRENCH GIRLS ON YTURTLE

So half of the group is crashed on a path, whilst the rest is about to reach the cabin
We are gonna focus on the people who crashed to the side of the abandoned road for a while
Din, Wumbo, Polar, Gonad, SBS, and Renex are chilling on the side of the rocky road in the mountainy forest path to the cabin
"Hey Wumbo"-Din
"Way ahead of ya" Wumbos naked
Wumbo and Din run off into teh forest bushes out of sight and view
But dat stank was everywhere
Just don't think about it
The van is pretty beat up
it crashed into another driver and his car
"We should probably go loot him"
Polarbore runs to the car and trips, hitting the gravel and dirt hard
"MY FACE"
"Now it hurts you just as much as it hurts us"
"OH SNAP A GONAD BURN. RARE BUT DEADLEH"
"Sbs will you take off that strapon"
"NIQQA NO. RENEX YOUR NAME SOUNDS LIKE A CONDOM BRAND"
and dey cry
Gonad goes over to the car
The person inside is ded
"Haha I bet he was a dik"
Gonad looked at his face
he had no mouth
"WTTFFFF"
Gonad jumps back
Renex, SBS, and Polar come over
"Woa now. Dats heavy"
"Like ur mum"
"GONAD BURNS COME IN PAIRRSSS"
They look in the car
"I bet it still works"
They take the keys and rev up the car
OHHH YEAAHHHH
DIS CAR IS THE EMBODIMENT OF HULK HOGAN BEFORE HE MADE CELEB PORNOS
They look around for stuff
"His mouth must have been knocked out by impact"
"Seems legit u dumbass"
The guy had a wallet
*MONEY MONEY MONEY* Renex chirps in the background
SBS picks up his driver license from the wallet
"This guy looks like a rapist with eyes"
"HEY THIS IS THE GUY WUMBO RENTED THE CABIN FROM. I RECOGNIZE HIS NAME FROM THE FORM HE SHOWED US DEPICTING HIS RENTAL PURCHASE"
"Wait isn't he supposed to be on a far away expedition. What is he doing close and driving away from his cabin"
"CONSPIRACCCYYYY"
"Oh god cmon guys I just put Renex to bed why did you have to rile him up again"-Polar
SBS wacks Renex with the strapon
"Bitch I might be"
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE"
*WERE GONNA GET YOUUUUUU*
The man sprung up
his skin had changed from paling to rotten and his eyes were bleeding
*THESE ARE OUR LUSCIOUS MOUNTAIN FORESTTSSSS"
"Dey won't be luscious when I TEAR THIS PLACE DOWN AND BUILD A GO-KART MALL" Sbs taunts
"Sbs u dumb fuk don't anger the possessed dead guy"-Renex
Polarbore takes Gonad and beats the demon back with him
"I find this
.
.
.
tantalizing" says Gonad
The possessed dead guy thing moves back
He takes the key out from the ignition of the car
and rushes at Gonad with it
He punctures his arm with it
"U LIL POSSESSED SHIT JUDY FUCKIN HORSE LOOKIN PRIK. YOU AND BILL O REILLY CAN BOTH SUCK MY DICK"
Renex pushes the demon guy from Gonad and off the road into the forest
"We're gonna get you. Each and everyone one of you. We're gonnaaa get youu....." the demon says, darkly sing songy
It retreats into the foggy forest to the side of the road
"SHIT GET IN TEH CAR"
They hop into the former dead guys car (there van was beyond repair, but this one's okay somehow cuz fuck ur shit)
"WAIT WAIT WAIT"
"WHAT IS IT POLAR"
"HOW DID THAT GUY SAY STUFF IF HE DIDNT HAVE A FUCKING MOUTH"
"I THINK HE WAS SPEAKKING THROUGH HIS EAARRSS"
They all freak out
They get the key from where the demon guy dropped it and start the car, and just keep driving
"We have to get to the cabin and warn the others. Wumbo will want to loot it as we-"
SBS slams the breaks
"OH SHIT WE FORGOT ABOUT WUMBO AND DIN"
The 3 slowly look back in the rear trunk window of the car
Their were 3 figures, way back on the edge of the forest, mouths gone, skin destroyed and bloodied
They could hear the faintest chime in the wind
"We're gonnnaaa gett youuu...."
They drove unknowingly towards the cabin

Pool: Lol u gon die

BACK IN THE SADDLE (with maybe having a dildo on it or some shit)

So lets recap
no
okay
no fuck u
shutup bich I'm trying to talk

So the 4, Gonad Renex SBS and who really give a fuck about the other guy, its Colin Mochrie! No wait Polarbore
They are driving away in the guy who got possessed cars
"OK LETS FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT. SO ONCE SOMEONE DIES, THEIR MOUTH DISSAPEARS AND THEIR FLESH GETS DEADER THEN POLARBORES LOVE LIFE. THEY PROBABLY GET POSSESSED BY SOME DEMON LIKE THING AFTER THEY DIE, AND SEEK TO FUCK TEH SHIT UP." - SBS
"I wonder what its like to actually fuck shit"-Gonad
"Messy"
"Renex how would you- nevermind Brad's too tured to go indepth with your fucked upiditybipdy-ness right now"
"Guys I'm freaking out"
"LATER RENEX I GOTTA FOCUS ON THE ROAD"
"OK IF THERE ARE DEMONS IN THIS WORLD I JUST CAN'T DO THIS"
Renex pulls out a copy of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" volume 3
"RENEX NIQQA NO"
Renex opens the case and a bright and horrible light shines them in the face
He is absorbed
he becomes one with the disck
"Fak"
Everyone looks stunned
mainly because Sbs put electric collars on them for funsies
Renex body is now an empty husk
"OH FUCK"
"SHIT GET ME OUTTA THE BACKSSEEAATTT"
Renex rose up suddenly, no mouth, no mas
"HI *giggles*
SBS pulls the car into a tailspin
the car flips, and a huge explosion is seen in the background
explosion directed by Michael Bay
The car is on its backside
SBS and Gonad crawl out of the car
"You okay Gonad"
"I have gonorreia"
"I give like zero fucks"
"Wheres polarbore"
They slowly looked to the overturn car, faces slightly bloody from the crash
Polarbore is trapped in the car
with Renex
"HELP"
Renex is slowly inching towards polarbore, both hanging down strapped to their seatbelts in the overturned car
Renex reaches out his hand towards Polarbore
"Come and let me gett youuuuu"
"OH HELL NO"
Sbs sticks his hand in the car and starts waving around
"HEY HEY HEY HEY
HEY HEY
HEY
HEY HEY
don't tuch Polar pls
Renex reached out and bit SBS' hand off
"SON OF JIM BELUSHI"
Sbs took out his hand, with a huge blood geyser coming out the top
"Fuck it lets leave him"
Sbs and Gonad run down the road away from the reck
"U LIL SHITTTTSSSSS" Polarbore complains as the possessed undead Renex thing eats his face in thin slices of blood and tender meat
They run for the miles
it is almost dawn
They look up in front of them
They were at the bridge to the campsite
but something has gone very wrong
generic cliffhanggerrrrrrr
Now der are 5 undead guys, but only 4 undead forumerz because the other guy is still relatively unexplained- Pool
Shutup Pool

[Poles]

wait noooooooooo
don't kill me ;n;

[GonadTheNomad]

Considering my luck IRL, the fact I'm one of two remaining people in the half of the group I was with, and the other guy is now an amputee, is amazing.