Bendber Baggins was in his home in the Shyre (for copyright reasons)
He had grown quite old, having 50 years plus past since he discovered the ring
By now, the ring had grown stale and bug ridden
but it's dark sway held and Bilbo kept it, keeping it in his pocket all this time
BUT TODAY WAS A SPECIAL DAY
It was Bendber Baggins 150th or whatever the fuck year it was on the Forum birthday!
All his relatives and friends were coming to celebrate, most notably GanDionlf the Ghey
GanDionlf was a wise, old admin (a rare breed) who had known Bendber for a long time, and actually helped save him on his adventure where he found the ring
Another notable guest was BendBer's son, Polar Borggins. A young moddit who loved adventure and finding half-bit worms in his apple
As some of the guests were arriving at Bendber's home, GanDionlf the Ghey rode up to the path outside his home
Polar, a friend to him as his father is, went to him
"Your late" he said with a smile
GanDionlf hit him on the head with his staff
"Shutup fagt. I just rode up in mah new buggati" he said
"ITS WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU GANDIONLF" and Polar hugged him as blood trickled down from where the staff hit him
Gandionlf went up the path to BendBer's house by the big field on the frog on the log in a hole in the bottom of the sea
BendBer greeted his old friend at the gate
"Wassup GanDionlf my niqq" he said
"You old jive motha" GanDionlf said, hugging him
"YOU READY TO PARTY"
"I AM READY TO PARTY. ARE YOU READY TO PARTY POLAR"
"I AM READY TO PARTY. ARE YOU READY TO PARTY GANDIONLF"
Gandionlf hit Polar with his staff hard again, and everyone laughed heartly as Polar's bloodloss steadily grew.
Later that night as all the hundred or so guests were there, they had a party with tables and alcohol in the fields
GanDionlf had brought fireworks, and kept them in one of the party tents
Two young rascal moddits at the party, friends of Polar, were Upprisin and Clemmy, and then their little cousin Rocket
"LETS GO FUCK SHIT UP" - Upprisin
"K"
and the three snuck into the fireworks tent
they got the biggest, thickest, juciest, blackest, firework *what the hell is wrong with you-God* out of the bag, and lit it
"Wait don't we have to plant it in the ground so it doesn't fly willy nilly on us?" Clemmy asks
"uhhh" Upprisin says, and pushes the lit firework to Rocket
"FAK UUUUUUUUUUU" Rocket screams, as the firework launches into the air, Rocket still holding on, and explodes in the air, raining down chunks of the King of Pickles down upon the party
"He lived up to his Rocket namesake" Upprisin said, before he and Clemmy were pulled up by their dicks by the tall GanDionlf
"LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKERS DID. YOU KNOW HE HASN'T GOT TO BE IN A FANFIC YET RIGHT?" and GanDionlf told them to run along and try not to commit more brutal murder
The wizaradmin Sakuraum meanwhile in his tower by the mountains became a dark devoter of SaurT0m, and resurrected his spirit in a Chrystal ball to take over forum-earth
but hey theres a party at Bendber's house!
After the fireworkers and right after the heat of party, Bendber got up to give a speech
"MY FELLOW FORUMERS.
TESTICLES"
and he dissapeared
"Da fuq" - everyone at the party
unbeknownst to all but GanDionlf, the dark chicken ring had another evil power
it allowed the wearer to pass into teh dark realm, and become invisible
"YA I COULD RAPE SOMEONE AND COMPLETELY GET AWAY WITH IT. BUT I WON'T UNTIL I'M TOO OLD TO GIVE A FUCK" - Bendber as he snuck away
GanDionlf followed him back to his house, with Polar trailing the two
when they got back to the house with everyone from the party in the field leaving, BendBer became visible again
"Time to get out of town. I am old and dying and need to go into hiding because GanDionlf just got word SaurT0m is back or whatevs" and Bilbo dropped the ring VERY hesitantly (GanDionlf pried it from his cold fingers) and left (was sent away unconscious by GanDionlf to GovernElrond and his elven kingdom)
"Polar" GanDionlf says
"Idk why Sakuraumon did this, but that damned dark admin wizard brought back SaurT0m and Michael Jackson, so double whammy. I need you to hold onto the ring so SaurT0m can't get it back. I will be too tempted by its power, but a young impressionable youth like you should be fine to trek many miles up the mountains and to throw it into the grease trap mountain pit where it was made, going through SaurT0m's defenses and numerous other perils. Good luc-wait"
GanDionlf stopped as he heard a rustling out the window
He flipped out his staff, hit whatever it was and dragged it in
it was a moddit, Sambam Geyguis
"YOU LITTLE FUCK" GanDionlf yelled at him
"SORRY SIR. I WAS JUST TENDIN' THE GARDEN. I WASN'T JACKIN OFF NO RABBITS, HONEST" - Sambam
"Well just for this shit, I'm going to make you go on this journey with Polar" GanDionlf tells him
"Nooooooo" Sambam whined "Polllarrrss succhhh a ddiiicckkkk"
Polar coughed
"OH THATS AKWARD"
and GanDionlf shoved the two out the door into the now morning with no sleep or food to begin there...erm..."adventure"
The two walked out, and would soon be joined by others
BUT WHO
obviously Clemmy and Uprisin
FIND OUT HOW I WORK THEM AND EDX INTO THE STORY
NEXT TIME
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Originally Posted by Uprising
