Zoroark's VGRBs

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsrJRzqf_xo

JOHN MARSTON
VERSUS
CONKER THE SQUIRREELLLL
BEGIN...


Marston:
I'm dissing a jackass, squirrel, I'm looking at you
Listen up, mongoose, you're about to get duped
You're a rodent with impotence, on a drunken craze
I'll make you more hairless than where I've got scars on my face
Twenty-one already hungover not knowing where you girl is
Lineage of douchebags leading up to your squirrel kids
Here I am John Marston, give me all you got, Conker
Cause by the time this rootin' tootin' monster is done, you'll be conquered

Conker:
I'm Live and Reloaded, and ready to kick this sorry outlaw's ass
Yo I passed out, but tonight you're gonna crash!
The FBI cut off your family connection
I'll leave you blood red, dead, my redemption!
I used to race with Diddy now my raps flow like whiskey
You drag to hell every ally of your past, acting pissy
So kiss my ass, see? You'll never get your kids back, please
You may be a Rockstar, but I'm Rare masterpiece!

Marston:
There's no way some smug orange squirrel's gonna beat me
So chug down a Jack Daniel's before I defeat thee
You spent a whole Bad Fur Day finding a ditzy bitch you love
Call yourself tits on a flower, cause you're gonna get fucked!
I draw my weapons high noon, while you piss on Nazi teddy bears
You needed the game designers to beat your game cause you were scared
So I'll make you and Berri reunite...in hell, bitch
Cause you and I both just defeated piles of shit

Conker:
I stack cash every level, you're a rebel and a devil!
I put the pedal to medal on this meddle mental pebble!
You abandoned the life of crime cause you got shot once
I'll don an MP5, then your whole family will be done!
Turning this prick into a zombie prior to DLC
Yo this hairy stealthy squirrel's getting super fucking wealthy
I'm a cute squirrel with a dark heart, bitch I'm one to fear!
Walk ten steps back and I'll shoot you in front of all of your peers

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC!
RAPPY-RAPPITY RAP BATTLES
OFOFOFOF
VID...
EOGAAAAAMES!!

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGnTjOJA_bE

COLE PHELPS
VERSUS
PHOOEEEEENIX WRIIIIGHT
BEGIN...


Phelps:
Call Alfred Hitchcock, I'm rocking 2011 like it's the fifties!
You're the thing Capcom does instead of Mega Man, how nifty!
Pretty young but always so busy; with murders where you plead not guilty!
I've never seen filth 'till this kill, putting him on a gurney; he'll never again call himself an ace attorney
Yo Nick, you bitch! I'm doing this LAPD style!
You hang with a meditating shit, you pedophile!
I bring back the days of the old noir; gonna leave this hedgehog-haired kid scarred
So swear on the Bible to your lucky stars; that Phelps doesn't bring hell on this law fart!
I examine bodies, you look at lamps to figure out clues!
You got framed as a kid, call it a career bruise
You're screwed! Cause Cole Phelps grabbed the mic!
Kid you once knew in the court like a tool, so go cry and ride your bike!

Wright:
Hold it! Your facts are mismatched and spat like crap, Phelps!
I work together with my past douchebags, you need help!
So go investigate a naked woman's body, it's the old days
The only way to know if someone's lying is to tell by their bold face
Cold case, you're not law and order, bitching no race
Got some balls, Cole, if you know, I'm a swole ace!
Yo, mate, I'm a turnabout, back again, and around the town
You're so late, so get the fuck out, smashing it, you're going down!
Your game consists of chase scenes, racing, pacing towards these faking skanks
So pick up the pace, before you disrespect your raise, amazed?
My rhymes go off the wall, bring down the gabble, justice for all!
I'm a wright-winged rapper, in fact, I'm a smasher, so gimme a call!

Phelps:
I've shot bitches in the war, you hang around with apeshit whores!
Your best friend's a pussy, spitting shit galore! And fans want more!
You were boring me since you were defending Edgeworth
Birthed from investigating movie sets, you are pure turd! Burn!

Wright:
OBJECTION!
I've spitting since I saw a fucking Thinker clock! You cock!
I'll scrub away your contradictions! But you're afraid to be washed!
You were left to die, but when I press and present, you're really trapped!
I'll kick you, and Aaron Staton's ugly face! TAKE THAT!

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC!
*OBJECTION!*
RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAAAMES!
BA-BA-BA
YAY!

[ZoroarkPKMN]

Tomorrow, sadly, is gonna be two more battles, including the season 1 finale. Sad, but, it has to end somewhere.
I will be doing a Season Two, but not until the PKMNERBs finish with the writing. Which, hopefully, is soon.

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSx_j7fXVvw

CAPTAIN FALCON
VERSUS
EXCITEBIIIIKEEEERRR
BEGIN...


Biker:
Watch this famed racing ace wreck your helmeted face
Leave this sorry-ass disgrace dead without any trace
I rock the track 8-bit, there's no way you can save it
I ain't losing shit to this flagship bitch!
Don't you dare motocross me, I'll run you the fuck over
You can't fight, that's right, you're a total brawling poser!
By the time I'm done with you, you'll need some closure, listen Captain
Shut up and go back to Mute City, and earn some practice!

Falcon:
I don't see your potential, show me your moves!
You're an assist trophy cause Sakurai doesn't see your groove
Big Blue racing down the streets of Port Town
You've never seen the light of day since NES, get out!
I can assure you, nothing about your game is exciting
I'll smash this bro because my racing is inviting!
So fight me, I'll kick you upright, sky high
I've fucked up a biker, and a motherfucking samurai!

(Excitebiker races off, and the Yellow Frog Excitebot comes in)

Frog:
You want a new revolution to your old racing moves
Well bandage your face, cause Imma deliver a bruise
Right to this psychotic douche, that's the truth
You're flaming, and I'm not talking 'bout your Falcon Kick, dude!
Trick racing, blazing down the dirt roads, you don't even know!
I'll swing around on a bar, you don't go far, mo' fo'!
I own these ownages fo' sho', go home!
I win first place while you're still chasing Black Shadow!

Falcon:
Show the respect, I'm a Nintendo legend! I forgot you!
You're just a cash-in Wii title! Your other Excitebots, too!
The only reason you'd eat me is cause I'm that damn fly!
You'll be crashed in a low resolution tree while I drive by
So get it right, I'm an F-Zero king!
Win this battle of raps like a motherfucking Grand Prix!
And I can see, though it's only a hunch
You are just a cunt! FALCON PUNCH!

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC!
vvrrrooooomMMMRAPBATTLESOFVIDEOGAAAAAMES

[ZoroarkPKMN]

The season finale goes up a little after five! I'm finishing it up as we speak, then I re-type it and do some finishing touches while posting it.

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-opeF2548

AKIHIKO KAYABA
VERSUS
KIIIIRRIIIIITTOOOOOO
BEGIN...


Kayaba:
I applaud this kid, and his tendency to win
Though for the sake of this battle, I'm gonna beat his shit
I know more than you about this world than you could imagine
And the fact stands, your just a fourteen-year-old fapping
So get ready, Kazuto, I'm gonna end you
But once you conquer Alfheim, I'll finally befriend you
And if you lose, NerveGear will fry your brains out
So give your girly Asuna a final virtual make out
I'm the Gamemaster, top of the motherfucking class
I dreamed long about the floating castle of Aincrad
I know my way around a game, intelligent and sincere
But to the whole damn game you're only known as a beater
This is a no-crystal zone, it's apparent to ya
So grab your dual blades when you face Kayaba
This isn't a beta, kid, Imma wreck this weak bitch
So why don't you do a Fairy Dance and run away, Spriggan

Kirito:
I've been rocking the mic for a long time, online gaming
I'll school you in both worlds, solid playing
I'm a pimp in Aincard, yeah you're jealous cause you're trapped, too!
And that I'll beat you in this anime rap feud
You were responsible for the death of three thousand people
You're the spawn of cheap noobs, an MMO's evil
Better access the database, I've mastered the Sword Art
My trench coat isn't even as black as your heart
So don't start, I've found real love in this game
A true desire that'll last throughout the rest of my days
Two blades in my hands, while you're chilling eating sushi
I'll end you just like the server ended Yui!
I'll break you and the Cardinal System's last hope
So you got another thing coming when you fuck with Kazuto
You've got the mind of a computer, and now they're one and the same
Yo this might be a game, but it's not something you play!

(Akihiko Kayaba transforms into HEATHCLIFF)

Heathcliff:
Try to throw a diss at this bitching immortal object
Skills so advanced, there's no way you could stop it
I'll screw you over just like our duel that you lost!
Strongest guild in Aincrad, and I'm the motherfucking boss!
I just wish this opponent was bolder
When you fell in love and took away my greatest soldier
My HP's never been below green, so beat me
You're a wrecked beta tester, it's easy to defeat thee
Floor seventy-five and you caught me
Then you and your girl lost when you finally fought me
For the justice of all your Sword Art Online friends list
So when it comes to strongest in Aincrad, it's obvious!

(Kirito transforms into his Alfhiem Online avatar)

Kirito:
I come back with a vengeance when I'm already dead
I beat your stupid system, no brains fried in my head!
And when this happened, you committed suicide you cunt!
I've screwed you, your virtual life, and Argus!
Don't try and stop me, you got another thing coming!
When I'm fucking up Oberon, even when it's real and bloody!
My new technique flying, World Tree, not stopping!
Then I'll beat your steel castle without even trying!
And only then will your message be free
Restore a World Seed that'll release your genius to any gamer who needs
So maybe you're not a bad guy after all, I'll let you go
But don't ever again fuck with the Black Swordsman, Kirito!

...epicrapbattlesofvideogames....

[ZoroarkPKMN]

Season 2...coming soon...
Featuring...
CLEMI
DUKE NUKEM
WARIO
SUB-ZERO
SUPER MEAT BOY

[BBC7]

Super Meat Boy vs Quote?

[ZoroarkPKMN]

aeiou

why are you linking to porn hub...

Super Meat Boy vs Quote?

Very good suggestion, I will consider it. SMB is hard to come up with an opponent for. I thought of Limbo Boy, but Quote is good.

[ZoroarkPKMN]

Hint just given in the chat for the battle with Clemi.
"Their clothes look like their victims"
"Season 2 will be very meaty, very greedy, very fairy"