Zoroark's VGRBs

[Katz]

Simon Belmont vs ???
Rayman vs Earthworm Jim
Chell vs Gordan Freeman

#Iamagenius

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cw_LeVG1CpY

SPELUNKER
VERSUS
STEEEEEEEEVE
BEGIN...


Steve:
You're gonna need to back off, hide in your cave and jack off
It's me, Steve, discreet with all the diamonds in my loft
You're a dropped, boring, average joe
I make it rain in the game when I stand high above this world
I'm gonna randomly generate a couple of rhymes
While you die over and over again and thousand times
What right-minded cunt at Mossmouth thought to make a game impossible?
The odds that you'll beat me in this battle? Highly improbable!

Spelunker:
I won't be lying in these verses, I wanna spit truthful
I come from a game where gold is useful
Dude, you're a jackass who got famous for his shit game
Spiraling into success, thanks to Swedish big names
So let me kick up a notch, and say this set rap
You'll be slashing at the air while I'm riding a jetpack
And I'll grief whatever mansion you're building in creative
You might as well give yourself to a Creeper, suicide contemplative

Steve:
You goddamn piece of shit! I'll wreck you!
While you grab a cape and shotgun and find shopkeepers to shoot
I will smash you with a diamond sword and mine your precious valuables
Let me hit up my Enchantment Table, turn these lines magical!

Spelunker:
You don't get to speak to me that way
When it comes to great legends versus shitty ass games
I'll light you up like Glowstone, you this battle's for real
It's the skeletons in your closet your players should fear

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC
RA
RAAA
RAAAAAP
BATTLESOFVIDEOGAMES!

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOPr0c3qRjk

GORDON FREEMAN
VERSUS
CHEEEEEEEELLL
BEGIN...


Gordon:
I'm speaking up for once, I suggest you do, too!
I'm the biggest Valve character, check Half-Life 2!
I'll don this hazmat suit, yo I'm ready to roll
You're a crap-ass mute, shooting tons of portal holes!
Congratulations, you survived a long fall by wearing shoes!
Pathetically fell in love with a weighted companion cube!
Gabe should've trashed your game way back in beta
There's no way Aperture could top Black Mesa!

Chell:
...
First words spat at this prick with a gun, so cool I guess
They should've left you to die on Xen, cause you're worthless
I schooled a robot, then shot another to the moon
You're getting caught by ceiling vines, dude!
You stole Aperture's products, made the company bankrupt
Desperate for cash, you left Cave Johnson fucked up
A slave to Black Mesa, you're a well-done trooper
With a job no better than Sheldon Cooper

Gordon:
Yeah, you will see, man! I'm Freeman, the OG-Man!
Your first installment was so bad they packed it with me and Team Fortress!
I'll kill you right now, leave you with a Half-Life
Poison you with neurotoxin all damn night
Shoot you down faster than a turret, still there?
Cause I'm a Valve legend, with a thousand-yard stare!

Chell:
Don't cross me before I grow a potato from your ass
Right after I kick it in this battle of epic raps!
GLaDOS dead, overridden possessed
Shoot you into space like that sphere obsessed
With a portal gun, I'm immortal son! Sad?
Raps so phat they make a robot mad

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC
rarararararAP
bababababATTLES
OF VIDEO GAMES

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YwWuPUhgTM

MARTH
VERSUS
CLOOOUUUD STRIIIIFE
BEGIN...


Cloud:
Don't you know who I am, I'm the greatest of video games
You're a strategy bluff with a sword so blunt and lame
Take a good glance at mine, cause it's the last thing you'll see
You beating me will be your final fantasy
I'll wreck your headband storming down like an AVALANCHE
With your paper bones so pwned you'll need an ambulance, man
Blonde hair so recognizable it makes Square Enix tons of cash
This mercenary only needed one verse to kick your ass

Marth:
I'll slash so fast while you're still picking up that giant blade of yours
I've never seen a sword-wielding terrorist make me utterly bored
Every Fire Emblem game, I impress every NPC
I gotta admit, it takes big balls to mess with me
But you'll see, Cloud, I'll send you to hell
Once I'm done with my Critical Hit you'll be expelled
This is my Awakening, I'm your final boss
Cause I can put you down as well as Sephiroth!

Cloud:
Yeah, you're the toughest swordsman in your game, I'll accept
When you look like a girl, and practically wear a dress
And if you can't back down from this fight right now, sir
I'll get a good friend to sprinkle rhymes on you like a flower!

Aerith:
Yo girl, betcha never even seen a Centra before!
I'll spit rhymes so hard right down to your Crisis Core
The name is Aerith, no bitches comparing
It's a stretch to say this shudden of a fighter is daring
You bout to get wrecked by Gainsborough
You should back off from the fight with a bow and arrow
Roy and Ike are way better fighters than you at best
So I'll be dissing up to the grave, my untimely death!

Marth:
Don't you dare compare me to my lessers
I'll show you and your boyfriend Cloud which game is better
And to do that and still make your shit rhymes at least fair
I'm gonna get my party member Lucina to scare

Lucina:
Watch what you say against the Hero-King, Marth
You wield a shit staff while I can pierce my sword through your heart!
My father Chrom is the greatest there is
So you better show respect to his greatest fucking kid
I'll wreck you, Cloud, that's what I'm doing now!
You're only friends with Aerith cause you have to protect her around
I'm a Lord, so adored, yo you better kneel down!
Cause this strong-willed woman deserves the crown!

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC!
RAP!
BA-BA-BATTLES!
O-OF
VID...
EO...
GAMES!

[Lancer]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!


GORDON FREEMAN
VERSUS
CHEEEEEEEELLL
BEGIN...


Gordon:
...

Chell:
...

Gordon:
...

Chell:
...

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC
...
OF VIDEO GAMES

fixed that for you

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2ZopmzNciw

RAYMAN
VERSUS
EARTHWORM JIIIM!
BEGIN...


Jim:
This weird little arm-less shit is about to get fucked up
By Earthworm Jim, he's a run and gun punk!
Half of your game's relying on being funny
When you had a good game and got tossed by bunnies
You think you're fly? Talk to the glove
Got big-ass abs and head so shrunk
With a shirt designed more pointless than Bubsy's
If you think Ubisoft is better Shiny, suck me

Rayman:
At least I've got originality, where do your hands grow?
In terms of biology, you're a definite no-no
I fucked rabbits up by playing tons of mini-games
Put all of those raving rabid fucks to shame
You shoot around like the Home Improvement platformer
You look like a rejected idea for a Transformer
So come fuck with me, yeah you'll totally regret it
Fight me in Kung-Foot, you'll see a Rayman Legend

Jim:
You're a snotty, bandana-wearing piece of shit, see
You adventure around impossible levels saving Teensies
And the only way you win is through your friend Murfy!
I save Princess What's Her Name, let's see if you can hurt me!

Rayman:
You're not worthy for me, I should leave this rap game
Abandon your rhymes with a great escape
Your origin was on crappy Sega Drives, mate!
Me and Globox will kick your ass, no problem, you gay!

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC!
...
RAPBATTLESOFVIDEOGAAAAMES!

[ZoroarkPKMN]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9KnCnG3b2I

ZERO SUIT SAMUS
VERSUS
LARA CROOOOOFT
BEGIN...


Croft:
Come fuck with me, see how long this bitch can withstand
You mask your face from a fight, people think you're a man
It's my plan, no question, I'll brutally end you
No one but yourself will be there to defend you
Watch out, yo, I'm Lara Croft
Call me Mother Brain, cause today I'm your final boss
I'm the first sex symbol in any video game
You couldn't save a bunch of puppies cause your ass is super lame

Zero Suit:
Yeah I'm not powered-up, that doesn't mean I'm weak
I could still kick your sorry flat ass off the streets
I'm sent out on missions while you explore boring tombs
And I can assure you, no dude would want to raid your womb
I stop Ridley and Kraid, your franchise fades
I was chosen by the Chozo to stop Space Pirate invades
I fly solo, you don't know, hoe! Just wait and you'll see
When it comes to shitty games, you're the Other OG

Croft:
You're soft, a loner who can't even stop one metroid
I'm Croft, you hide in a metallic alloy
That you call a power-suit, well then why doesn't this fuck
Just flee from this battle, you know she's got a space jump!
Screw you! I get more dick behind a computer screen
You adventure in outer space, so no one will hear you scream
You're not in your prime, you're out of time!
Go back to Zebes, bitch, cause my ass is more fine!

(Samus enters her Power Suit)

Samus:
I'll snap you in two, then wipe that whore blood off my sleeves
Now in my suit, I've got an even wider range of abilities
Kill so many baddies you wouldn't even believe
Now, do YOU wanna fuck with ME? I'm the female Master Chief
Got an arm so heated makes Mega Man cry
You better recognize, I'm the hottest gaming character alive
So fuck you, Lara Croft! The name's Samus Aran!
Raised by the ancients who you explore after they're barren

WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!

EPIC!
RAP!
BATTLES!
OF!
VIDEO...GAMES...YEAH!!!

[Dr. Ninja]

I laughed at the womb line. Very funny.

I want to see Jak and Daxtwr vs Ratchet and Clank. Unless you want a less obvious one.

[ZoroarkPKMN]

I laughed at the womb line. Very funny.

I want to see Jak and Daxtwr vs Ratchet and Clank. Unless you want a less obvious one.

I wanna say I'm gonna do it, but there's a certain bear and a bird you're forgetting about

[Dr. Ninja]

I wanna say I'm gonna do it, but there's a certain bear and a bird you're forgetting about

Jak and Daxter vs Banjo and Kazooie. Ratchet and Clank can be in one as well though.