Renegade Rap Battles

[YellowNerd]

That was great, loved the intro!

[Cool-The-Renegade]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*An enormous crowd is gathered in a large performance venue. Seven DJ booths surround the audience.*

WELCOME TO THE DJ BATTLE SUPREME! FEATURING...

*The booths light up one by one as the battlers are introduced*

GRANDMASTER FLASH!

FATBOY SLIM!

DAFT PUNK!

TIESTO!

DAVID GUETTA!

DEADMAU5!

AND...

DJ PAULY D!

BEGIN!


GRANDMASTER FLASH
Let me be the first to pioneer this match
Just like I did when I first began to mix tracks!
I’ve got Five furious fingers that I’ll use to whoop your ass,
So prepare to get cut, mixed up, Superapped and scratched!
If U Wanna Party, you can give up and listen right now,
I’ve got that Ba-Dop_Boom-Bang that’ll punch-phrase your lights out!
Listen up, kids, I’m the Source of the Message,
This is Grandmaster Flash teaching these young punks a lesson!

FATBOY SLIM
Right Here, Right Now, Imma drop this washed-up twat
My weapons of choice are a disk and a mic and you’re getting rocked!
I Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat, always make peeps move their feet,
I’m beggin’ ya’, jump off a bridge, please, honestly!
Your wheels of steel are rusted, you’re back-spinning fast,
And your legend has cross-faded into the past!
I’m the hip-hoppin’ Brit you won’t soon forget,
With a long list of pseudonyms as big as his rep!

DAFT PUNK
Pleeeeeease! You better get back, Slim,
You didn’t do your Homework to secure your win!
These Punks are Daft but we’ve got the Technologic edge
Watch these Robots Rock and drop beats to explode your head!
You’re an old man, so quit! No one wants to listen
To Norman Cook up some loops that our songs piss in!
You’re Soft, you’re worse, you’re slow and weak, there’s nothing to ponder,
We’ll say it One More Time: We rap Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

TIESTO
Hah! You’re lousy cowards with a gimmicky act,
My beats will burn your faces so bad, you’ll Dutch oven your masks!
I’ve got some dark Magik tracks and Amster-dammit, they’re genius,
Keep Searching for the Sunrise, but you’ll never see it!
In My Memory, you were better, you’re falling behind these days,
I’ve got the rocking rhymes to damage you in Extreme Ways!
You won’t Get Lucky in this fight, guys, just stand appalled,
You’re not God’s, you just lost, looks like you’re Humans After All!

DAVID GUETTA
Lemme whip out the Guetta Blaster just to prove I’m better, faster,
All you guys are gettin’ plastered by these tracks I’m getting’ mastered!
(Ohh!) I got the Sexy Bitches! You jokes are getting’ stitches,
You’re no Goliath, but David will sling a rock and hit ya’s!
The World is Mine! Accept it. I’m just plain adept, kids.
I’ve got a Revolver: “Bang Bang” and I’m gonna roll your credits, bitch!
I’ll Pop your Life hard, Get all your fame stole,
There’s no Town Called Paradise,but I’ll stick you in a Black Hole!

DEADMAU5
Hi Friends! LMFAO! You’ve already got me ROFLing
Just give me eight bars and I’ll have your egos toppling!
The fans want moar Mau5 and they’ll motherfucking get it,
My logo’s plastered on Facebook, Twitter and Reddit!
You’re all One Trick Ponies, I’m an icon, ya’ dig?
So haterz Get Scraped and I can troll like no one ever did!
I found a Mau5 in the box and a legend was born, that’s how it happened,
Get ready to see some Ghosts ‘N Stuff, ‘cause you’re all getting flattened!

PAULY D
Ooh! Dude! So not cool!
You’re a mouse in a trap, want that dick cheese too!
This is the Night of My Life! I’m getting’ dudes schooled!
I’ll Beat Dat Beat and then I’ll beat you!
I got that Jersey attitude with the Jersey body,
I’m that jammin’, tan man who’s snatching all the hotties!
All these girls in my room, you know what that means,
I’ve got the ladies all up on it ‘cause they want the D!

*The music stops and the first six DJs stare at Pauly D in disgust. The look around at each other and nod slowly. It appears their common disgust with Pauly has brought them together.*

DEADMAU5
JWoww! LOL, you suck, you’re just a guido and a rookie,
I’ll wrap Some Chords around your neck and kick you in the Snooki!
You starred in a show in a city that you weren’t even from,

DAVID GUETTA
And now Jersey Shore is sorry that they ever let you in, son!
I’ve got One Voice to dis you with, but it so easy, it ain’t fair
You’ve got a serious Situation going on with your hair!

TIESTO:
You had six seasons of drama and a bunch of stupid shit
Lookin’ like an Oompa Loompa who thinks he knows what music is!
This group of DJ Heroes is more than you can handle,

DAFT PUNK
Don’t come and bother us just because your shows got cancelled!
We’re all So Much Betta than a Pauly on the Shore,
The Prime Time of Your Life is all but done for!

FATBOY SLIM
You’ve Come A Long Way… Not! You suck ass,
I’ll mess a punk up with a Slash, Dot Dash!
I’ll leave you Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars,

GRANDMASTER FLASH
Then you can cry all night while we spit Gold bars!
Any girl you got, I could Saddle her fast,
You’re just a chapter in the Adventures of Grandmaster Flash!

GMF: So Pauly,
FBS: Get the fuck out!
DP: You weren’t even close,

T: You tried to step
DG: To real DJs
DM: And you got pwned!

WHO WON?! WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RE-RE-RE-RE-RE-RENEGADE RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

[Epic Doctor X]

I missed this man.. Welcome back, and amazing rap battles so far ^^

[Cool-The-Renegade]

I missed this man.. Welcome back, and amazing rap battles so far ^^

Thanks, EDX! It's good to be back.

And guys: Drop those suggestions and I'll have the next battle released soon!

[Cool-The-Renegade]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RENEGADE RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

*We see a large factory. The doors swing open and a man saunters out. The camera pans up to reveal...*

WILLY WONKA!

*Wonka smirks and walks down to the gate, ready to face whatever challenger he's been matched up against.*

VS...

*The gates swing open, and Wonka looks surprised, not to mention somewhat confused. Dressed in a bright dress with spinning peppermint swirls, it's...*

KATY PERRY!

BEGIN!

Katy Perry:
Purr, Meow! This Kitty’s got claws,
A Killer Queen, ‘bout to beat an old man, y’all!
I’m a California Gurl, so hot I Pop Chips,
And I Roar like a lion! Hold on, I got this.
Six Quintuple-platinum singles,
You’ve got an army of midgets singing tacky jingles!
I’ll eat you up, after all, everything is edible,
Your factory is effin’ dull, my music’s unforgettable!
Quirky philanthropist, gay rights activist,
You’re a lonely recluse with no hope of tapping this!
Every Part of Me’s a boy’s Teenage Dream
I’m so sweet! You could never make eye candy like me!

Willy Wonka:
Oh, you ripped off Candy Land in one video that made no sense?
You must be the BEST person they could have put me up against!
Not! I’ve got flow like a chocolate river: Sweet.
Dark Horse? You seem more like a Black Sheep!
Old Habits Die Hard, which is why you still suck!
And Legends Never Die. Good thing you aren’t one!
You’re a sell-out, committing artistic sins,
The industry controls you like a shitty game of Sims!
I’m spitting out these lines on a sugar rush,
And this little Runt is getting Candy Crushed!
You’ve got no talent, even with your billboard hits,
And the way this battle’s going for you…

Oompa Loompas:
I don’t like the look of it!

Katy Perry:
You just lurk in your factory, invite kids in,
Then give them a tour like Michael Jackson did!
You could never understand any of my work,
I’m a sex symbol that bangs like a firework!
I’ll paint the Hill Red with your blood,
This is the Win That Got Away from you. (What?)
I’m a diva, sure, but you’re a Nerd,
You think your candy’s the best? Now that’s absurd!
Hershey, Mars and Haribo,
Every person on earth prefers one of those!

Willy Wonka:
You’re gonna wanna phone home when I’m done with you,
You had a one-year marriage and got text-dumped by a dude!
I put a meal in gum, I’m a genius, bitch,
You’re the only stupid chick I can really call “sugar tits”!
I feel high like I’m on a fizzy lifting drink,
You’re just crying in a corner ‘cause your music stinks!
Stomping Smurfette is no shocker, I’m on a rhyming Spree,
Watch me stop your gob, Katy, these rhymes are Everlasting!
In fact I’ll lasso you and hang you with a Nerd Rope noose,
Like candy from a baby, Good day, Katy… You lose!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RENEGADE RAP BATTLES OF...
OM NOM NOM...
HISTORY!

[Lancer]

Hella.

[Epic Doctor X]

I just love how you work with puns and references! Epic battle, as always

I’ve got flow like a chocolate river: Sweet.
Dark Horse? You seem more like a Black Sheep!

^ Simple, yet beautiful.

[Cool-The-Renegade]

Thanks, guys! I was a bit nervous about this one, since the match-up is more unconventional than most of the ones I use.

That means a lot, EDX! I put a lot of time into researching and writing lines for battles. Coincidentally, that's one of my favorite lines, too.

If any of you guys have and idea for a battle, feel free to leave it! I'd love to write more battles from suggestions!

[Epic Doctor X]

Well I've always loved the idea of Walt Disney in a battle... How about Disney vs Aesop? Stories vs Fables, mainly focused around animals.. I don't know man, it's up to you xD

[Cool-The-Renegade]

Well I've always loved the idea of Walt Disney in a battle... How about Disney vs Aesop? Stories vs Fables, mainly focused around animals.. I don't know man, it's up to you xD

I really want to use Disney as well, but I'm not to hot on the MacFarlane suggestion. Maybe I'll read up on Aesop!