Ash
Time to set up this secondaryape for his defeat!
Set up is generally a strategic term used in competitive pokémon which can fit a very broad category of strategies. Secondaryape refers to the fact that going by the theory of evolution we evolved from apes. Also it's a play on the name of the pokémon "primeape" one of which Ash owned for a somewhat brief period of time, and Darwin is less worthy so he's a secondaryape
Beat ‘em down and Ketchum while they’re weak!
Ash's strategy to defeat Darwin is very similar to how he captures Pokémon. You beat them up, and then you catch them while they're weaker. In this case "Ketchum" would mean owning him... I guess
You got some birds with different beaks? BORING!
Reference to Darwin's finches, and how he considers them to be boring
I’m turning lizards to dragons how’s your exploring?
While Ash's evolution may be less realistic it certainly has some... interesting results
Me and my Pokémon with speed will steamroll you down in a clash
Steamroll happens to be a move in pokémon. Other than that, it's a pretty self explanatory line
Take my charizard and turn your whole little dog ship to Ash!
Darwin's journey, which included his famous visit to the Galapagos was all aboard the HMS Beagle. Beagles are also dogs. Charizard is probably Ash's most famous pokémon, second to Pikachu really. When he says "ship to Ash" it could both mean turning the ship to literal Ash and simply calling the ship his own
10 years old and I’m kicking bad guy’s asses daily
Team Rocket appears in pretty much every damn episode and he pretty much beats them every time
While you’re caught up checking out some Galapagos bayleaf
Meanwhile Darwin's doing less interesting stuff. I'm not really sure if there even are bay leaves in the Galapagos. But alas, there are likely plants on the bay of the Galapagos and they have leaves, so thus, bayleafs. More importantly it's also a reference to the pokemon "Bayleef" which Ash also owned, so Ash is saying his equivalents of what Darwin was doing is far more interesting
Such a player I explore every new region with a new girl for lovin’
Ash probably doesn't have a relationship with any of the girls granted, but let's humor him and say he did. Pretty much every time Ash checks out a new region in Pokémon he drops her old girl sidekick for a new one
And you’re so desperate you settled for your dang cousin!
Darwin married his cousin... yep
You’ll need a burn heal after you try to rhyme against me
There are burn heals in pokémon, they heal burns. Thousands upon thousands of people have made this joke before me
And for all those flame wars you caused full of hate and bigotry
Ash says he also needs a burn heal for the heated debates between Creationism and Evolution
I’ll be the greatest master of universes of universes you might as well quit
Reference to a completely random line back in gen 3 of the Pokémon anime where he was arguing with a guy named Morrison about who will be the better pokémon master
How does it feel knowing that half of the world thinks you’re full of shit?
The amount of people who actually think evolution to be a fact are depressingly low, I wouldn't be surprised if it was more than half really
Darwin
Kid, I’ve seen South America but your slavery’s worse
Darwin visited many places in South America on his voyage and witnessed slavery first hand there. He also happens to be opposed to it. He's calling Ash's pokémon slaves who are even worse off
The things can only cry out their name while they squabble in the dirt!
Pokémon in the anime with few exceptions generally can only say their name. Darwin is degrading Ash's battles by saying they're merely squabbles in the dirt
To hit the problem on the head I’ll aim for the horn with this!
Horns are generally on the head, if you don't know the "aim for the horn" reference then look it up, it's a meme
Cause your “evolution” is nothing but glorified metamorphosis!
Pokémon evolving is a lot more like growing up then actual evolution most of the time, look at the Butterfree line
Even then you contradict my hypotheses
Simply stating that Pokémon really has jack shit to do with Darwin's theory, even beyond the actual "evolution" issue
You have a whole world filled with impossible misfits and oddities
In the survival of the fittest, it's a wonder that some of these pokémon actually you know, survive
Any candle lizard I know would die in the fire
This is a reference to Charizard/Charmander once again, because I'm not sure a regular lizard would appreciate its tail being on fire
Any mangy rat would “faint” to a live wire!
Darwin is mocking Pokémon's use of the word faint over death and obviously most rats don't appreciate being electrocuted, unlike Pikachu
But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt use my imagination
Just a set-up line really
But by Arceus above he created some abominations!
Calling some of the pokémon in this world abominations, and since Arceus is considered the creator in this world...
When natural selection comes to you it will be a long haul
He's calling Ash unfit for survival
I only need two balls and a gun to catch ‘em all!
Darwin's method of collection was generally just to sample creatures after shooting them. Two balls to catch 'em all wouldn't work in pokémon because there are more than two pokémon in the world. However, Darwin just needs ACTUAL balls to catch them
You got your impractical capsulation? Well I got real science!
Darwin's mocking the science of Pokéballs
Enough to know life can’t be given to any random appliance!
There are quite a few inanimate object pokémon, and Rotom has multiple forms where he possesses stuff like toasters and such. Obviously this isn't really feasible in the real world
You’re not an adventurer, how can you even claim to travel across the lands?
Reference to the original Pokémon theme song, specifically the line "I will travel across the land, searching far and wide"
My voyage visited three continents, took you thirteen years to escape Japan!
Most of Pokémon's regions are based off of real world regions of Japan. Unova however isn't based off of Japan and to my best understanding 13 years is how long it took between the original Pokémon anime to come out and the Best Wishes series
I’ve seen some Galapagos tortoises, and I’ve seen how fast they turn
Darwin certainly observed plenty of Galapagos tortoises, he's kind of famous for them actually, and obviously tortoises especially ones that size aren't exactly speed demons
But there is absolutely nothing in this world that compares to how slow you learn!
Ash is a slow learner to say the least, he's saying that even stuff like Galapagos tortoises are faster than Ash's learning rate
Ash
I use Pokémon you play backgammon I’m cooler through and through
[b]Darwin apparently played a lot of backgammon and was pretty good at it, but Pokémon at first glance seems a bit cooler
If you’re searching for losers we might as well
Pikachu:
PIKACHU!
Pikachu, Peek-at-you. Yeah
You waste eight years on a barnacle and not actually gaining your knowledge
Darwin spent quite a lot of time studying barnacles, it's kind of a funny story actually
You didn’t even have the balls to publish your book till you hit a brick Wallace!
Darwin was reluctant to publish his book until he found out about a man named Alfred Russell Wallace developing a similar theory, this is also a thing that it would probably be interesting to read up more on
You didn’t like the sight of blood and yet by leaving you brought on more!
Darwin went to medical school but quit due to his distaste for the sight of blood. Darwin brought on more due to all the animals he shot/ate and the metaphorical bloodbath called the Evolution vs Creation debate. I'm not really sure how often this debate has actually lead to murder but whatever.
I fight for what I believe to be right, you screwed over the thing you went to school for!
Darwin after leaving medical school actually studied to be a clergy, obviously the theory he came up with isn't really beneficial to the Christian cause
Ash:
The difference between us two as collectors is this
There's a difference between you and me, Darwin
Pikachu:
You can’t keep anything alive, not even your kids.
Again, Darwin mostly shot creatures for further studying. So he couldn't keep those alive, unlike Ash whose collection of Pokémon is... you know, not dead. Darwin also had quite a few children and quite a few of them died, thus the end part of this line
Charles
You’re recoiling anyway though you missed with your Take Down
Darwin's claiming Ash to be "recoiling" like he would be if he used the move "Take Down" even though Take Down doesn't cause recoil when it misses
So let me give you a taxonomical breakdown!
Just a set-up for the next two lines
You’re in a kingdom of idiots on the run
Darwin is breaking down Ash's taxonomy, and the first step to any break down like that is with Kingdom. So Darwin is saying that literally everything in the Pokémon world's kingdom are "idiots on the run"
With your head Entoprocta and your Class: none.
Entoprocta is a phylum, which is the next taxonomical rank under kingdom. Entoprocta is a phylum that apparently literally means "inside anus" so basically it's a more clever way of saying Ash has his head up his ass. Class is the next rank below phylum but Darwin believes Ash has no class whatsoever... Laugh damnit
With a mouse that rejects what little logic your series had
Pikachu doesn't really seem to give a shit about the rules of the series such as "not harming ground types" even though the series had little logic to begin with
Yet you still can’t ever win a tournament now THAT’S just sad!
Ash never won a tournament, plain and simple. Granted I could've made a better line but whatever
Against some naďve ten-year-old zookeeper I don’t feel any tension
Calling Ash naive isn't a stretch, and he's said to be ten years old last time I checked, and pokémon trainers might as well be zookeepers
In saying me dar-winning is the natural selection
heh.
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Originally Posted by Top-Hattington
