Kirito
You MUST have Guts if you think you can stand up to me, man
Pretty basic pun on Guts's name. That's about it.
I’m gonna show this poser who’s the edgier Black Swordsman
Both have been nicknamed the "Black Swordsman" and Kirito is showing who's edgier because swords have edges, geddit? No? OK :c
Why so serious? Realized your life has no purpose man?
Guts is definitely one of those overly serious characters... The Joker reference also leads up to the next line. Throughout the anime Guts arguably had no goal or purpose other than to keep on fighting... but then...
You’re just some bloodlusted joke set out to kill the Batman
His current goal is to kill Griffith now. Griffith has a demon form that looks kind of like a bat monster thing https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...68300d3697.jpg assuming you watched Dark Knight the rest of the line should explain itself pretty well
You’ll find my rhymes can cut on the verbal plane
Guts's current sword is notable for being able to cut beings on the physical and astral plane. Kirito is saying he can take it one step further by cutting on the verbal plane, with his rhymes.
Even your dragonslayer won’t help when I’m spitting flames
Guts's current sword is called the Dragonslayer, Kirito says that he can't be brought down by it even when he's spitting flames like a dragon... Lyrically. yeah.
So you got like a million demons trying to eat your face?
Well it's a long story, but Guts basically has this tattoo that attracts demons apostles to him. The amount of demons he fights and kills is ridiculous. Fuck, his sword was able to cut on the astral plane because he killed 1000 of the fuckers.
Well I have almost as many girls that want to go to my place
Kirito meets plenty of female characters throughout the course of the series. Almost all of them have been hinted or not so subtly hinted at having feelings for him. When choosing between having a shit load of demons chasing after you and a shit load of women, most straight males, fuck most homosexual males, fuck pretty much anybody would probably chose the latter. Though I guess both have their disadvantages
Guts
So it looks like some scrawny Gary Stu wants to enter the ring
Guts calls Kirito a "Gary Stu" which is a play on "Mary Sue" basically he's saying his character was made almost boringly perfect.
Bitch right now you’re more endangered than that floating dildo jellyfish thing
Guts is threatening him by saying his life is in danger. In one of the SAO games there are these creatures called Tonkiis that look like this http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/...20141018181607 but they're kind of rare now because most of them got wiped out by ice giants or whatever and the rest are sought after by players... digital environmentalism ftw
Beat up a handful of electric fairies and some random pervy rejects
Guts dismisses all of the monsters Kirito beats in-game as basically just being electric fairies. Outside of the game he has beaten up two people to my knowledge. Both of which were basically r*pists (that's another connection between Guts and Kirito, both of them have their fair share of r*pe...) But realistically, even if it's heroic in context, beating up two scrawny perverts isn't exactly the most impressive thing ever
Your only real accomplishment is not getting fat yet
Emphasis on the "real" here, because pretty much all of Kirito's most impressive moments were within the games. Because that's what most of the show is about. I think it's pretty safe to assume Guts probably wouldn't be the type of guy to give a single shit about video games if they existed in his time. Guts is saying the only thing Kirito did that impressed him was not getting fat. Kirito spent 2 whole years in bed with his headset attached after the events of the first part of SAO, and he still designates a shit load of time to it afterwards. I also can't think of a single time where Kirito exercised irl in the show
Kid, you got a 2D waifu and gave your sister a girl boner
He's married to Asuna within SAO, also his fucking sister is one of the many people who have the hots for him. Well, it's not "actually" his sister because they're not technically related but to be honest, that doesn't make things all that much better.
Yet you’re somehow a bad ass by pretending to be an emo boy loner
Kirito is considered a bad ass character by many. He basically went full Batman mode in most of the first half of SAO I and insisted on fighting alone... but destroying a shit load of monsters any ways in spite of that. However that bad ass loner (well, the loner part specifically) persona sort of slowly becomes less and less valid as the series goes on.
Your brain must have been fried after all if you think you can step to me ant
At the beginning of SAO the main problem was "IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL!" What happened was that when the in-game character died, the headset they were wearing basically turned off its security settings and went full microwave mode. So all the people that died in the game died irl by getting their brains fried. Kirito avoided this fate supposedly... So basically, Guts is saying that there's no other explanation for Kirito being stupid enough to try to fight him
I would tell you not to touch me but you already can’t
Guts hates it when people touch him (due to reasons I... don't want to go into.) So he says "Don't touch me" quite a few times. Fortunately he doesn't have to worry about Kirito touching him because he "can't touch him." Yay metaphors or whatever
Kirito
OK Mr. ex-Band of the Dodos may I ask you a question?
Guts was a member of the Band of the Hawks for a long time... but then Griffith (their leader) killed almost all of them, causing the Band to be well, disbanded by default. So it's the band of the dodo because they're all extinct har har har.
Did losing that eye make you lose your depth perception?
Guts lost one of his eyes in the whole "Griffith kills everybody" event. Having only one eye generally means you'll have shitty depth perception. So in that sense it's a given, but it's a double meaning, because Kirito's actually talking about depth in the "wow this song is so deep" sense. He's annoyed with how dismissive Guts is of him
Really the only difference between the real and virtual world is information
And I want to close that gap through my own creation
The above two lines are both references to things he said, specifically in episode 1 of SAO II. Kirito's basically just ranting about why the virtual world matters because Guts's dismissive attitude is starting to get on his nerves
If you can feel, touch, and move just the same
SAO is basically virtual reality, virtual reality where you're able to do all of those things above to almost as advanced of a way as you could in the real world
Then how could you tell me it’s just a game?
Kirito's still ranting about how it's more than just a game xP
What do you know any way? You’ve never seen any of this stuff before
Berserk is more along the lines of some sort of medieval European anime/manga, so the stuff in SAO is something that Guts obviously wouldn't have in his world
You’re just a primitive ape who only knows how to swing a sword!
Kirito's calling him primitive because again, medieval shit. Guts has made a few speeches in the anime about how fighting is his only real talent and purpose in life
You put the ass in assassin, the kid in killed
Griffith once asked Guts to assassinate a noble... who tried to assassinate Griffith first. Guts succeeded in killing the guy, but THEN... he fucking killed his son too because he saw it happen... and then instead of sneaking out assassin like, he basically just started clearing a line by killing all the guards in his way and escaping out in the open... it's safe to say Guts is probably one of the shittiest assassins like, ever.
I’d say you’d be more fit for the Laughing Coffin guild
Laughing Coffin was a guild that killed other players in SAO. They were antagonists in the series and some of the later antagonists were ex-members of the guild. Kirito is calling Guts out for not being heroic at all basically.
So you want me to get real? Well do the math
[b]It's a set up line, countering Guts's point about him not really accomplishing much in the "real world"
What’s the minimum value of bullshit required to cut a tornado in half?
Guts cut a tornado in half in the manga. It was a thing that happened. http://z.mhcdn.net/store/manga/176/2...?v=11362647523 ... yep.
Guts
I don’t give a shit about the hordes of girls you get on some website
This is mostly just a set up line (key word: hordes) but yeah, it's in reference to Kirito's good ole' Harem
They’re all more brain dead than the stuff Takashi fights
This is a reference to High School of the Dead, where Takashi is the main character and they fight you know, zombies. Takashi and the main girl Rei actually look weirdly similar to Kirito and Asuna btw http://wonderduck.mu.nu/images/hsotd5-11.jpg (key difference: Rei is incredibly obnoxious, and Takashi is also noticeably less devoted to Rei. Not that Kirito is the pinnacle of devotion either mind you.) Zombies are brain dead too geddit? Basically he's just saying all of the girls in SAO are idiots
Fucking genius tactics like bringing a glowstick to a shoot out
In SAO II Kirito spends the first half primarily focusing on "Gun Gale Online" which you know, focuses almost entirely on guns. But since Kirito is "more comfortable with swords" he fights almost exclusively with a lightsaber thing instead https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/i...ccuB6Dg2XdvQPg quite literally bringing a knife to a gun fight.
That avatar was based on your fighting style without a doubt
His avatar in GGO has long hair (which ended up making Sinon confuse him for a girl, and he only ended up telling her he was a guy when she fucking changed in front of him xD) basically Guts is just saying he fights like a girl
Maybe you could look at Sinon’s ass some more to get a clue
Oh this one is a VERY specific reference. Basically, in the first half of SAO II there was basically an episode where Kirito and Sinon hid in a cave to rest and think about their situation. This is where Kirito had his big "AHA" moment about there actually being 2 Death Guns. The funny thing is, he had his AHA moment RIGHT AFTER a camera shot that was zooming in on Sinon's ass. It's one of the most hilarious fucking things in the show imo, Sinon's Ass of Knowledge, all that gaze upon it shall reach true enlightenment.
I don’t plan on succumbing to a bitch, and certainly not you
This is a reference to the Hellhound, the Hellhound is basically just a mental manifestation of all the deepest darkest thoughts, rage, trauma etc. in his mind. It takes the form of a dog, and Guts has to make sure he doesn't fully succumb to the Hellhound lest he lose himself completely. It's a dog so it's a bitch... geddit? 
Originally Posted by Dion
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